Zanpakuto?
by magicsmith
Summary: Zaraki manages to summon his zanpakuto. Is it all too late? Secrets are revealed, but are these the answers he was seeking? Enemies, friends, who can be trusted? Who will win the challenges? What new enemies await them? Chapter 63 now available. Rated for language. Character death.
1. Let's talk

_I do not own Bleach, the characters or the copyright, but admire the people involved in its creation._

**Let's Talk**

Kenpachi Zaraki waited until Yachiru Kusajishi had gone to snack. She loved snacking. Her eyes glowed at the prospect and she would skip all the way. She had not snacked fully for a few days, and Zaraki knew that it would keep her occupied for a few hours, especially if there were people to tease.

He needed this time alone. He wanted this time alone. He had planned for this time alone. He went to the place that no one but Yachiru would disturb him, and attempted to carry out his plan.

He then realised his problem: How do you talk to a zanpaku-to?

What do you say? Is the zanpaku-to a living thing that will respond, or is it simply a fancy name for a sword? He didn't believe all that stuff other captains went on about. Zaraki believed in his strength. His strength did not let him down. It had allowed him to escape from the early hell of his life and become a Captain in the Gotei 13. All his division admired his strength. He did not want them to catch him talking to a zanpakuto. His division knew he had no time for strange notions and discouraged his people from indulging in frivolous ideas.

'Why do I want to talk to it anyway? Just because some orange haired guy defeated me and told me to talk to my zanpaku-to. Why would I listen to him? Just because some guy beat me. Just because some human beat me. Me, Kenpachi Zaraki, Captain of the 11th Division. If he can defeat me, maybe some one will challenge me for the Captaincy,' Zaraki thought. He was having trouble believing in his defeat. It didn't scare him. It just made him a little less confident.

'Hey, zanpakuto, are you listening to me? What's your name? Do you have a name? Tell me your name!' Zaraki felt foolish talking to his zanpaku-to, even more foolish than when he talked to it after being defeated by the human. Just as well no one was around to hear him. Like last time, there was no response.

'Listen to me, zanpaku-to. My name is Kenpachi Zaraki. I am a Captain and you are my sword. I have introduced myself. Now, tell me your name.'

No response. Zaraki really did not believe that there would be. Why would a zanpaku-to talk to him if he did not believe it would, or even could? Maybe he could talk to someone who knew the name of their zanpaku-to but he felt that this might be seen as a sign of weakness. He had boasted so many times that he did not need the strength of Zanpaku-to. He was the Captain of 11th Division, the division that loved to fight. 

Everything had changed since the arrival of the ryoka. Maybe it was time he changed also.

_Author's Note:_

This was my first attempt at Fan Fiction. 

MS 


	2. Zaraki feels

_I do not own Bleach, the characters or the copyright._

**Zaraki**** Feels**

He felt like an idiot. He had tried talking to the zanpaku-to before and achieved nothing. After he had been defeated by that ryoka, Zaraki had tried talking to his zanpaku-to. He had even asked for its name, politely. Wasn't he polite? But it was pointless. It had not answered him them. Why would it answer him now?

The last time he had talked to the zanpaku-to was in front of Yachiru. He was injured at the time and she had not mentioned it since. He was embarrassed at the memory, that someone had seen him in this moment of weakness, when he who was so strong had asked for help from a tool. That was what the zanpaku-to was, just a sword, a tool. A sword that would not be sharpened. A tool that had failed him when he needed it most.

One of the reasons his clothes were tattered, aside from the fact he did not care how he looked, was that the clothing matched the edge of his blade. It was a point of pride with him that he did not look neat like the rest of the shinigami captains. Some of them carried all that a little too far. Aizen had always been neat and he was the great traitor. 

He sat down, placed the zanpaku-to in its scabbard and rubbed his face. He was tired. He was hungry. He was not a weak dog like the rest of the shinigami. 

All the time he remembered that he had been defeated. It did not matter how many times Yachiru told him that it was not a fair fight because it was two against one. He had fought against more than one adversary before. 

He did have many reasons he wanted to increase his power. With the reports that Aizen might be coming, Zaraki wanted to be the person to defeat him. To show once again that the Captain of the 11th Squad was the strongest, the most powerful Captain. He felt shamed that he had been taken in by Aizen and had done little to prevent his escape. 

While he was still alone he would try again. Even if the zanpaku-to was only a tool, it was best to have the tool work for him. He remembered hearing someone say that if you did not work with a tool, you would just harm each other's power.

"Hey, zanpaku-to. Let's get to know each other. We should work together. I don't need your power. Oh, okay, I do need your power. Come on. I know the pain of not having a name, but you do have a name. Maybe it is a different pain if no one knows your name. If you tell me your name, maybe the pain will go away."

Still no answer.

"This is a joke! I am talking to you, zanpaku-to. Can't you talk to me? I, who am your master, can't we just learn a little about each other? You know about me, you are with me every day. If we know each other's names maybe we can…. Oh, forget it. This is stupid. What the hell am I talking to you for anyway?"

Author's Note:

Please review

MS


	3. Summoned

_I do not own Bleach, the characters or the copyright, but admire the people involved in its creation._

**Summoned**

Zaraki stared at the zanpakuto. It was never going to answer him. He had wasted time talking to a stupid tool. Time that he could have used for some of the tasks he was expected to do. Thank all that no one had seen him make the attempt. He did not want his reputation sullied by someone observing his weakness. Even if Yachiru had seen him this time, he did not have the excuse of wounds to explain his weakness. He knew that she would not tell anyone, but this was not something he wanted anyone to know about. Not even someone as close as Yachiru.

He sighed and leant back against wall. While he was here he may as well check that the tower was still secure. If they captured the treacherous captains anytime they would have to be placed somewhere before they were executed. Rukia and her friends hadn't done much damage to it. It was good to have a quiet place to go when he just wanted to get away. Pity that they would need to find another way to execute any traitors in the future. He was sure that Kurotsuchi would work out some devious and painful manner and would probably want to be closely involved in the executions. He hated that devious dog. Zaraki was certain that Kurotsuchi was a traitor and might even be secretly helping the Arrancar so he could do some research on them once they arrived in Soul Society.

He would try with the zanpakuto one final time. That would be it. He had wasted enough time on this foolishness. Even if he learned the name of the zanpakuto, he might never use it. It was a form of insurance, not that Zaraki believed in insurance, most of the time.

One more time. But what could he say that he had not already said? How had a ryoka from the human world managed to talk to his zanpakuto? Maybe he could try something he had not really tried. Thank all that no one was here to hear him apologise.

"I am sorry I have not tried to talk to you before, zanpakuto. I want to know your name. If I know your name I can use your strength. I want to be stronger. Accept my apology zanpakuto for all the things I have said, all the times I ignored you, and all the times I treated you only as a tool."

"Too late."

Zaraki thought he heard someone say: 'Too late'. He also heard the sound of running feet. A pink haired child like form appeared, Yachiru.

"Hey, Ken-chan. What you doing here? Icchy is back and so are the others. Baldy and Weirdo are looking for you, but didn't know where you were. I didn't tell them where you were Ken-chan. I don't want them to find you all the time. That wouldn't be fun. I like making them search."

"Yachiru, I'm not doing anything, just resting. You didn't hear anything when you came here, did you?"

"Hear what Ken-chan? I heard thin moustaches call your name, but nothing else. Come on, let's go. You should have come snacking with me. It was great. The Captain-General wants to talk to all the Captains about somethin'. He wants you there soon, so I think we should go now, Ken-chan. Will you let me direct you?"

"Yachiru, I will not listen to your directions. I know where the office is. If he wants me there soon, I will decide which way we will go."

Yachuri jumped on Karaki's back.

"How about I tell you the first direction and then you decide. It will be fun."

Zaraki started moving. Did the zanpakuto answer him? Was it too late? Maybe he was just hearing things. He had other problems to think about now. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

"That way Ken-chan. That way!"

"Yachuri, it is another dead end. We will go this way."

* * *

_Author's Note:_

Please review

MS


	4. Too Late

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

I wanted to give Zaraki another chance. He is fair in battle, well most of the time. Please read and review. 

**Too ****Late**

Many of the Captains and Soul Reapers of Soul Society did not think that Zaraki was a particularly reflective person. He always seemed to be doing something, not necessarily something he should be doing, but he rarely sat idle unless he wanted to irritate someone. Walking purposefully from one place to another, looking for a fight, getting lost, sleeping, yes Zaraki would do all those, but think? Become introspective? Not likely. Yet, Zaraki wanted a quiet place to think.

Zaraki was pleased no one had found him talking to his zanpaku-to. He did not feel he would be able to explain it away. He could kill the person who found him, but that led to problems. People knew he was violent and liked fighting, but he always had to give a reason when he killed someone and that was a pain. Often he asked Yachiru to help him in making up the reasons because she had a vivid imagination. The only problem would be when she would make up some strange name to describe the person. It seemed unlikely that Yachiru had heard him talking to his zanpaku-to; otherwise he was pretty sure she would have mentioned it by now. She wasn't discreet by nature.

He thought back to the last time he tried to talk to his zanpaku-to. It had answered him with the words 'too late". Sometimes when he had tried to sleep, he heard those words again. It was too late to learn his zanpaku-to's name. He might have a reiatsuunequaled by anyone; he might be the strongest, toughest captain and the only person to achieve the rank of captain without the ability to bankai but he felt he needed to progress as he didn't think it was not possible to improve his normal fighting abilities. 

With the threat of the possible return of Aizen and the monsters created in Las Noches Zaraki was feeling a little uncomfortable. He knew that many of the other captains had been training and trying to increase their abilities, especially their bankai. It had been brought to his attention that Ikkaku Madarame had been urged by Abarai to try for a captainship, but had turned him down. He had the suspicion that Madarame may have done the unthinkable for a member of the 11th Division and achieved bankai. If Madarame had done so, he, Zaraki should have the ability. It should be easier for him.

Madarame was a friend and they had known each other a long time, but Zaraki still felt that he had been betrayed. To keep silent about an ability that could assist in fighting seemed a betrayal. Maybe Madarame was scared that he would be thrown out of the division. Zaraki did not normally try to guess other people's motives and he quickly gave up now.

Thinking like this was useless. It just made him angry and he tried to avoid anger as much as possible. Anger caused him to make mistakes. He hated to make mistakes. Mistakes were for losers, not the Captain of the 11th Division.

Maybe he should talk to someone who could communicate with their zanpaku-to, but who? That was the best idea he'd had so far. Obviously it couldn't be anyone in his squad. That would destroy his reputation and make a mockery of the mockery he made of people who needed to bankai. It really should be someone he could trust. That immediately ruled out most of the other captains. Assistant captains would blab to their captain as soon as they could, so they were also ruled out. It had to be someone whom he respected. Someone he respected and trusted.

Asking the old man (Yamamoto) would be too embarrassing, so while he respected and trusted him, he was not an option. The kid (Toshiro), no. The kid was cute, but Zaraki did not really trust him not to tell Rangiku. Clown face (Kurotsuchi) was definitely out. He did not like him, trust him or even want to be in the same room with him. Fong would probably laugh at him. At one time he might have asked Gin but that was not an option now.

Zaraki sighed, shut his eyes and ran his hands over his face. This was taking too much time. Thinking so hard was a pain and he wasn't making any progress. In fact the thinking was making his head ache. Headache? Headache! That was it! He would ask Unohana. She was quiet and didn't gossip much, for a woman and if he went now she might offer him some tea, or if he was lucky, some sake. He thought he could trust her. As long as none of the others in 4th Division tried to hear their conversation.

Zaraki made his way to the medical relief headquarters. As he was ushered into her office he notice she was sitting, quietly having some tea and talking with Isane about some new medical treatment they were developing. On seeing Zaraki enter the room, Unohana immediately offered him some tea and sent Isane to gather some snacks. 

"I'm surprised to see you Zaraki. We don't have any of your division here at the moment, so you're not visiting anyone. You don't normally drop in to chat, so I surmise that you need some information."

Zaraki's jaw dropped. He was surprised at how quickly she had understood his purpose. He had not realised that she was so perceptive. Did that make it easier, or more difficult? Zaraki scratched his head. He was already here; may as well ask.

"I do need to ask you something, but it is something I don't want to get around, if you know what I mean?"

Isane's return caused a pause. She laid out the food.

"Isane, have you finished that paperwork? It really should be completed by tomorrow so we can requisition the new supplies", Unohana said.

Isane looked a little surprised. "No, I haven't finished. I'll do it now if you don't need me here." 

She shot a quick look at Zaraki, then looked at her captain and raised her eyebrows. 

"No, I don't need anything else, thank you. I think we can take care of ourselves. Thank you, Isane."

After Isane left the room there was a moment's silence and Zaraki and Unohana looked at each other. 

"Please, have some food, Zaraki. It's fresh and our cook is pretty good."

Zaraki picked up a rice ball and ate it in one bite. 

"Not bad, not bad. Nice pickle. Is that enough small talk?" he asked.

"I know you are direct, so I will be also. If it is about the medical condition of anyone aside from you, I will not disclose the information. I've told you that before. If it is about gossip, I try not to speak ill of anyone or spread rumours. If you want me to examine you, I would prefer if you made an appointment."

Zaraki shook his head.

"No, none of those. Look, what I want to say can't go any further. This has to be kept absolutely private. Can I have your word that you won't tell anyone, not even Yachiru? I will return the favour. Anyone you want beaten up, just tell me."

Unohana almost smiled.

"I don't gossip and I respect other peoples" secrets. You can have my word, but you don't need to harm anyone for me. I'd only have to treat them afterwards. Anyway, I don't think you could easily reach Aizen or the others. I'm more than happy to help another captain," Unohana replied.

"Okay. I want to talk to my zanpaku-to. I've tried talking to it twice and nothing. Well not quite nothing. Last time when I talked to it and asked its name, I think I heard it say 'too late'. I, er, I apologised for not asking before. I feel like an idiot now I say it aloud. Look, I think this was a mistake. Forget I asked." Zaraki started to stand.

"No, wait a moment, Zaraki. I'm honoured that you came to me about this. Tell me everything you said. There may be something you don't see because you are too close to the problem. 

She continued, "I felt silly when I first talked to my zanpaku-to, but as time passed it became easier. You have to recognise that the zanpaku-to has a soul. It is not just a lump of hardened metal. If you can learn to harness it, it becomes a trusted companion," Unohana assured Zaraki.

Zaraki then told her everything he remembered saying to his zanpaku-to and how he had been interrupted. It took some time and as he talked, Unohana listened, asked no questions as she sipped her tea.

"Have you tried talking to it since, Zaraki?" Unohana asked once Zaraki finished talking and began eating another rice ball.

"No, there didn't seem any point. It said 'too late', so it's too late. I just wanted to be stronger for when Aizen comes back. I can't raise my spirit power higher, but if I could communicate with this damned sword…..."

Unohana interrupted. "You have to stop thinking and talking that way. It's not just a sword," she paused. Now let me see. You apologised, talked to it and it said 'too late". Too late." Unohana paused again, lost in thought. 

"Atonomatsuri. That would be logical", Unohana commented to herself. 

"Zaraki, next time you talk to the sword try calling it "Atonomatsuri". I think that was what it told you when it said 'too late". It was telling you its name. But I think you will have to apologise again. Every time you insult your zanpaku-to, it will affect it badly. Calling it a sword is an insult. I have no idea what form your zanpaku-to will take, but if we have guessed the name correctly, then it might manifest in physical form to you. Don't be surprised at how it looks. With that name it could be anything from a clock to a vulture." Unohana smiled at Zaraki.

For the second time since arriving, Zaraki's jaw dropped. Why hadn't he thought of that? He felt like hugging Unohana he was so pleased but instead shook her hand. 

"Thank you, Unohana. Thanks. I think you must be right."

"You can let go of my hand now, Zaraki," Unohana said.

Zaraki realised he was still holding her hand. He flushed, releasing her hand.

"I got carried away," Zaraki apologised.

"No problem. Let me know how it works out. Now, why don't we just relax and chat for a while, unless you want to try talking to your zanpaku-to now. I'll get some sake. We should celebrate," Unohana offered.

'Sake? Yeah, that'd be good. Talking to the zanpaku-to can wait 'til later. Good sake should never be refused."

For the rest of the afternoon Zaraki and Unohana talked and drank sake. Zaraki fully intended to talk to his zanpaku-to the next day, but for now he would relax.

Author's Note:

It took me ages to find someone who would translate 'too late" into Japanese. Okay, I was lazy. 

Next chapter, Zaraki calls his zanpaku-to by name. Will it answer, will it manifest? Is there a point to this rambling? Not really. I just got caught up in the moment.

MS


	5. Later

Or Just in Time

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

Yachiru calls Zaraki "Ken-chan" in this story. I know she calls him Kenny in the manga, but I can't. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

**Later**

Zaraki had a hangover; at least he thought he did. Normally he did not have headaches this bad. Zaraki prided himself on his ability to ignore pain. He could ignore any pain that he received in a fight. Broken bones were not a problem, except when they stopped him fighting. The only pain he couldn't ignore was a headache. He didn't cope well with headaches. Headaches irritated him. He looked at the ceiling or he tried to look at the ceiling but found he was having trouble focusing on anything far away, or close-up. He rubbed his eye and tried focusing again. It didn't work. He took off his eye-patch and tried focusing once more. A little better. He didn't recognise the ceiling. Where the hell was he?

He tried to look around. Why had he drunk so much? Who had he been drinking with? Lots of questions, but no answers. Zaraki started to sit up and immediately lay down again. Bad move trying to get up. Instead he rolled over. He saw a table covered with empty sake bottles and plates.

He vaguely remembered playing drinking games and laughing. He'd been drinking with Unohana! Was he still at 4th Division? From the sake bottles it seemed likely.

He tried sitting up again, slowly this time. Once the dizziness stopped and the pounding in his head faded, he looked around. No, Unohana wasn't there. That was something. He didn't really want to see her at the moment. He didn't want to see anyone.

Isane walked in.

"Sorry to disturb you, Captain. I just wanted to clean up in here and air the room. It's a little stale," she explained.

Zaraki grunted, and then clutched his head. The noise was too loud.

"My captain has prepared something for you to take for your virus," Isane said. "Do you want it now? It seems Captain Unohana has caught your virus also." She looked at the empty sake bottles and raised her eyebrows.

Zaraki was confused. Virus, what virus? He wasn't sick, just hung over. What was Isane talking about? It slowly dawned on him that Unohana had prepared a hangover cure and a cover story for his hangover.

Zaraki was about to nod in response to Isane's question, then realised it would hurt.

"Yes," he croaked. "And some water, too."

Isane nodded and left the room taking the empty bottles she had collected. Zaraki noted that she did not believe the virus story but that didn't matter. He just hoped that whatever Unohana had prepared cured his headache, quickly.

As Zaraki waited he tried to remember why he had visited Unohana. Madarame was not injured from fighting, at least not that Zaraki could remember. Why was he here? He scratched his head and closed his eyes. He was still tired, very tired.

When he woke next, Unohana was in the room reading. She looked pale but composed. There was a large jug and two glasses on the table near her. A glass full of vile looking green liquid was on the table near him. Unohana seemed aware that he had woken and without turning her head said, "I didn't want to move you. I thought sleep would be best. I suggest you drink the green liquid quickly. It may help with your headache."

Zaraki gaped at her, but took her advice. The medicine tasted as vile as it looked. Zaraki almost vomited, but drank it all. Once he stopped retching he noticed that he had started to feel better. The headache had eased somewhat and he could focus much better. He replaced his eye-patch. Unohana poured him a glass of water, which Zaraki drank.

"The water helps the medicine to work. I recommend you drink two more glasses." Unohana stopped speaking but continued reading. Zaraki noticed that she occasionally sipped from a glass of water she had next to her. He followed her suggestion and felt better.

"Thanks, Unohana. I guess we really let loose last night. It was fun. Must do it again sometime," Zaraki suggested.

"Maybe," she looked at him. "I don't normally drink that much. The drinking games were the real problem. You have quite a capacity for alcohol, Zaraki."

"Yeah. Not going to lecture me about it, are you?" Zaraki looked at Unohana and raised his eyebrows.

"Would there be any point? You don't take advice, Zaraki. Here's additional hangover cures. You might need it in the future." Unohana handed Zaraki a few bottles.

"Thanks again, Unohana." He did not know what else to say. He still couldn't remember why he had come to see her. He didn't feel like asking. He stood up. It was time to leave.

"Remember, next time try calling your zanpaku-to 'Atonomatsuri' when you talk to it. You'll probably need to speak to it for some time and apologise often. You will let me know if it works?" Unohana looked directly at Zaraki.

"So, that's why I visited her," Zaraki thought.

"Yeah, I'll let you know. Better go back to 11th Division to see if Yachiru had decided to paint my office pink, again. She insists it's a soothing colour, whatever that means. I don't think it soothes me," Zaraki wondered why he was saying this. It seemed that his mouth was bypassing his brain. Maybe, it was relief?

"By the way, when I mentioned how it might appear, don't be surprised if I'm partially correct. I have this intuition about zanpaku-to's and yours feels different," Unohana explained.

Zaraki grinned, raised his hand in farewell and left 4th Division. On the way back to 11th Division he decided to go the bathhouse to think. The bath house was often deserted at this time and he would be undisturbed. As he lay soaking in the water he thought about Unohana's suggestion. The details of the conversation he'd had with her the night before gradually returned.

"Atonomatsuri. Too late. Why would a zanpaku-to be called 'too late"? Who names these things anyway?" Zaraki felt a moment of concern. "Now I think I know the name, should I use it?" He didn't consider how other people would react. He was Zaraki. Why should he care? Okay, he had worried about people hearing him talk to a zanpaku-to. That was different. Unohana had set him straight on that.

The problem was how did he feel about it? Yeah, emotions, he ignored those but he did have occasional feelings of concern. Would it make him soft relying on another, or would it add to his strength? He quickly dismissed his doubts. If it didn't work out, he'd never need to say the name again. He'd just continue as he had always done. He would lose nothing.

When he arrived back at 11th Division, he noticed briefly that Yachiru had not re-painted his office. His paperwork was still awaiting attention. He saw that some of the piles had chocolate and jam smeared over the top page. Yachiru had been here, but the office was empty now. Zaraki shrugged. Maybe he could get Ayasegwa to handle the paperwork. He was good at those tedious tasks. He might even know how to remove the food stains.

Zaraki sighed and stretched. He didn't care. He wanted to work out. He went to the training area looking for a fight to help stretch his muscles. Very few members of 11th Division were training. Zaraki challenged the few who didn't escape fast enough when they saw the mood he was in, but he had to hold back. He goaded 4 into attacking him at one time, but it still didn't entertain him or make him fight hard. It was frustrating. These guys were in his Division and he could beat them so easily. He briefly wondered if he should talk to his zanpaku-to. He beat everyone too easily. Then he remembered Aizen and the other traitors. He needed to increase his power to fight them and he really wanted a new challenge. Learning to Bankai could be that challenge.

It was late. Dusk was falling and he was hungry. He looked for Yachiru and found her eating. She was surrounded by the normal horde of people who thought watching her eat was fun. He didn't understand it himself. Maybe it was because she could eat so much, so fast. He sat down and helped himself to the food.

"Ken-chan. Where have you been all day? I looked in your office, but you weren't there. I got bored. Don't eat all my rice. I'm hungry," Yachiru scolded.

"I've been busy. Anything happen?" Zaraki asked as he quickly ate more rice. He was hungry, having eaten nothing all day.

"Nothing to report. Someone came from long moustaches and asked when you would complete your paperwork," Yachiru paused as she swallowed a particularly large mouthful. "It seems most of the other captains have."

"Yeah, but I'm not the other captains. Tell Ayasegwa to do it for me. He owes me for letting him fight Hisagi. It's not like he has anything better to do. Give him spare time and he'll just primp," Zaraki observed.

While he ate, he briefly thought of talking to his zanpaku-to after dinner. No. He'd sleep first. Plenty of time tomorrow. He had a cup of sake and relaxed. Maybe he was unwilling to talk to it again. Apologising was weak and he did not like the taste that saying 'sorry" left in his mouth. He drank another cup of sake to take away the taste.

He let Yachiru yammer on about what happened during the day, not really listening. The words help shut out the thoughts. The sake helped him ignore the words. Yeah, situation normal. Maybe tomorrow the situation would change.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

You didn't expect it would be that easy, did you? I believe Zaraki would feel a certain amount of reluctance after he originally failed.

Next chapter: Zaraki talks to his zanpaku-to, again. Will it talk back? Will it demand flowers and chocolate?

Please review.

MS


	6. Bitter

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

I do own Atonomatsuri. Not the word, the character in this chapter.

Zaraki talks to his zanpaku-to a few days after his conversation with Retsu. Procrastination is the thief of time. Warning: adages ahead. Some of the adages are misquoted for fun. Some mild swearing. Hey, it's Zaraki. You expect him to always be polite?

Please review. It won't take long. Maybe even less time than reading this.

**Bitter**

Someone once told him that the road to hell was paved with good intentions. Why the person told him this, he did not know, nor did he care. The phrase came to his mind every so often recently.

Good intentions. Did he even have good intentions? What did good intentions mean? If you jumped in a river with the good intention of saving a drowning person and then you drowned, would you go to hell? The good intention was there, but you'd failed. That was too philosophical. All this thinking was bad.

He had intended to talk to his zanpaku-to, but days had passed and he didn't have the time. He'd had some new recruits join his division and he had to fight them to see if they provided any challenge or if they belonged in his division. As usual he'd been disappointed. One or two of them had to be taken to 4th Division for healing and he'd been loath to visit them there. He knew Retsu would ask what had happened with his zanpaku-to and he didn't want to explain his lack of action. Why did they give him weak cadets? He only wanted the strong ones.

The paperwork was being completed by Ayasegawa after a mini tantrum.

"Why do I always get the boring jobs? Why can't Yachiru do it? She's your assistant captain," Ayasegawa whined.

"Do you want to suggest it to her? Go on, I dare you, as long as I can watch," Zaraki suggested. "I want some fun and that might be fun."

Ayasegawa paled. "Um, wouldn't it be better coming from you? I mean she respects you and you are her commander and, and…" Ayasegawa was floundering, almost perspiring, looking for the words that might convince Zaraki. He knew he was failing.

Zaraki grinned wolfishly. "Yachiru suggested you do the paperwork. I wouldn't ask her to do it. I want the papers in a readable condition. She hates paperwork more than I do. You don't want me to tell her that you wanted her to do the paperwork, do you? That might be even more fun that you suggesting it to her. Yeah, I'll go and tell her," Zaraki started to walk away.

"No, don't," Ayasegawa shrilled. "I'll do the paperwork if you don't make me do it next time."

"Can't promise that, now can I? Just do the paperwork. Remember, I let you fight Hisagi. I think this is just a bit of payback. After all, I am your captain and you respect me," Zaraki was firm, but amused.

Ayasegawa knew he was beaten. He surveyed the paperwork. It would take days, maybe even a week.

"I'll do the paperwork, Captain," he sullenly agreed. "Will you request that no one interrupts me? And may I have extra sake, to help me concentrate?"

"Can't promise about the interruptions. You are in my office; people come in here all the time. And you can have extra sake…when the paperwork is complete. You can't be drunk when you do paperwork; it doesn't help concentration," Zaraki responded still grinning. He loved to win, even an argument with a subordinate.

Zaraki left Ayasegawa in the office. Ayasegawa was muttering under his breath about the chocolate and jam stains and 'sake scrooges'.

For the next few days, every so often Zaraki would walk through his office to find Ayasegawa primping or working. Every time he caught him primping, he'd make Ayasegawa come out and spar. At least he provided a challenge and wasn't as weak as the new recruits. Not up to Zaraki's level, of course, but at least it provided some entertainment. He told Ayasegawa that it was for his own good. He needed to stretch after all the reading and writing.

Zaraki realised he was bored. Annoying Ayasegawa and sparring with the new recruits was just an excuse. He knew he had been making excuses not to talk to his zanpaku-to. There was no reason to pretend. He tried not to lie to himself. Too many people lied. He preferred honesty and violence; the two went well together.

"Anticipation is the thief of time," he thought. Hell, where was he getting all these adages from? He didn't even remember hearing that one before. What a stupid idea, anticipation being a thief. Who thought up these things anyway and why was he even thinking them?

"Procrastination is the thief of time," the words suddenly burst into his mind. Another moronic adage which was a slight variation on the previous one. He needed to stop thinking so much. It was obviously having some strange side effects. Now he was thinking in adages. Next he would be wearing fluffy slippers and mumbling to himself, or worse, enjoying paperwork. Zaraki shuddered slightly.

He scratched his head, then the scar on his chest. He was bored and it was time. He went in search of a place that would be quiet and he could be undisturbed. That morning he'd asked Yachiru to make sure Ayasegawa continued to work. That might keep her occupied. It would certainly irritate the hell out of Ayasegawa. He smiled at the images his mind produced. Yeah, that should keep them both occupied.

He arrived at the first place he thought would be deserted but found a group of 3rd Division shinigami gambling. He quickly left before anyone saw him. With Ichimaru gone the division was losing discipline. They needed a new captain, quickly. Izuru tried to keep the division in order but without authority, it seemed that he was failing. 3rd Division seemed to lose heart with the discovery that their captain was a traitor. They needed someone who would keep them so busy that they had no time for thinking, or gambling. He should raise it with the old man. 9th Division was faring better because Hisagi bore the authority well. "Maybe the old man should make him a captain", Zaraki mused.

Zaraki strode quickly to the next area he thought would provide privacy. It was being used as the venue for an impromptu drinking contest. Zaraki briefly thought of joining the game. Talking to his zanpaku-to could wait.

"There is no time like the present. Strike while the iron is hot." Two adages surfaced in his mind. It was getting worse. Two at once. Maybe he should go and see Retsu. These adages were not normal. It didn't even sound like his internal voice saying them. He thought about paperwork, just to see if he had suffered a complete personality change but found he still hated paperwork. That was something, at least. Maybe he should try to talk to his zanpaku-to now. At least he'd know if it would work.

Zaraki arrived at the third and final place he thought would be empty and was glad to see it was deserted. He quickly secured the door and stood uncertain of his next action. Should he sit or stand? Should he apologise first? Call it by name? Take his zanpaku-to out of it's sheathe?

It was not like him to be indecisive, except about the direction of reiatsu. The adages, the thinking, the defeat by Ichigo, the betrayal by 3 Captains, the failure to get a proper response from his zanpaku-to, had all affected him, had shaken his confidence. Not that anyone would notice a change. He was Zaraki Kenpachi, Captain of the 11th Division. He led the strongest division. He was the strongest captain. Well he wasn't sure about Byakuya. The man never accepted his challenges and Zaraki had not witnessed the fight between him and Ichigo. He lost to Ichigo as well, so it was hard to tell how good a fighter Byakuya was.

Zaraki knew many shinigami prayed to get into the 11th Division. That was how he had planned it. He wanted the strong fighters. Zaraki was a success. He had fought and defeated so many and would once more. He would talk to his zanpaku-to, now.

He quickly thought of the advice Retsu provided. Apologise often, call it by name, and don't insult it further. Easy, he could do that. The apology was something he still resisted, but if it was necessary, he would do it.

"Urrr, Atonomatsuri. I am Kenpachi Zaraki and you are my zanpaku-to. I have been told that I have insulted you. I apologise," Zaraki scowled and swallowed. The taste of the apology was bad. It was worse than the first time he apologised. Apologies did not become any easier. "I know you are not a simple tool. You are one of the noble zanpaku-to's. A weapon without peer. A necessary companion and support for a shinigami." That sounded okay, sickening, but okay and he had abased himself pretty thoroughly last time. He'd furtively listened to some of the other shinigami talk to their zanpaku-to's unobserved in the last few days so he could get some ideas. Some of them used even more flattery. Luckily no one was around to hear him.

"Atonomatsuri, for every time I have insulted you, or ignored you, I apologise." Damn that foul taste in his mouth, again. "I want to get to know you, to talk with you. I think we can be stronger together. We can become stronger than any other shinigami and zanpaku-to. Let's work together. We can defeat any threat and keep the Seireitei safe from all invaders. I know you will be one of the strongest zanpaku-to's because you have lasted this long without being summoned. Please, talk to me." The "please" didn't taste any better than the apology. "Let's explore our strengths together. I need you. I want to be stronger." He hated the way he sounded. It was wrong for him to speak this way. He was becoming as flowery as Kyouraku's coat.

Zaraki waited. Nothing. He waited a little longer. Still no response. He was getting angry. He'd abased himself, again, for no return.

"Hell, I'm sorry. You want me to beg? Zaraki does not beg. I'm not doing this again. Final chance. If you don't talk now I'll just keep using you the way I always have. Now, talk to me, damn it. You are my zanpaku-to. Talk to me, now," Zaraki was rapidly becoming frustrated as well as angry. Why had he even thought that this would work?

"Patience is a virtue," a voice said.

Another adage. Wait. That sounded like it came from behind him. Zaraki spun around and saw …

What he saw he didn't like. It looked like a vulture. A pink and black vulture. But the vulture appeared whole one minute and decomposing the next. The eyes of the vulture weren't normal. One was like a broken clock face that had stopped on 12. The other eye was a clock face with the hands spinning fast around the dial. Around the neck of the vulture was a chain made of small animal and bird skulls. Zaraki thought that their eye sockets also contained clock faces, but he didn't want to get close enough to find out. Not that he was scared, just disgusted. The vulture was half his height and he wasn't sure at that size if it would be able to fly.

Zaraki wondered how the weird looking vulture had entered the building. It was too big to have crawled under the door. He looked up at the ceiling, but there were no holes through which it might have flown. Slowly he realised that this might be the manifestation of his zanpaku-to: Atonomatsuri. He remembered the warning that Retsu had given him. She was right. Briefly he wondered how she knew. Even the warning did not prepare him.

"Speech is silver. Silence is golden," the vulture said.

"Are you Atonomatsuri?" Zaraki decided to make certain.

"Are you Zaraki?" Atonomatsuri replied with a mocking tone.

"Of course I'm Zaraki. I introduced myself when I called Atonomatsuri," Zaraki found this conversation annoying.

"I'm Atonomatsuri. Your noble zanpaku-to. A weapon without peer. Zaraki, you're full of it. What a stupid thing to say," Atonomatsuri sniggered slightly. It was not a pleasant sound. "I have been talking to you since you talked to Retsu. Listen and you will hear. Pay attention and you will learn. Seek and ye shall find."

Zaraki groaned. The bird was mocking him with his own words. Worse it was spouting more adages. The adages that kept coming to his mind were his zanpaku-to talking to him. While he felt relief that he wasn't sick or insane, he was irritated. If the zanpaku-to could talk directly to his mind he might hear even more adages. Zaraki detested adages.

"Do you have to keep saying those stupid things?" he asked.

Atonomatsuri cocked its head to one side. "Stupid things? Enlighten me about the stupid things I say. I am what I am."

"Those adages, the sayings, proverbs, axioms, maxims, clichés, mottos, platitudes, the stupid generalisations. I hate them. They are fillers to hide what people are really thinking. They support dishonesty," Zaraki grated. He'd surprised himself with the list of names for the thing he hated. Where had that come from?

"Swallowed a thesaurus did you, Zaraki? Or maybe you hate adages and learnt some of the names for them so you could appear clever. You left out a few like aphorisms, saws, dictums, truisms, chestnuts and epigrams. You aren't clever. You're stupid and violent. You should have talked to me earlier. Three feeble attempts and one was just out of pique at being beaten. Anyway, adages are part of life, just like death and taxes." It looked like Atonomatsuri was grinning.

Zaraki was taken aback. The bird was insulting him again. How could a vulture grin? But it wasn't a vulture. A zanpaku-to did not have to abide by normal physical laws.

"So, you said you want to get to know me. Let me see. I'm older than you think, I'm female, love the colour pink and I love adages. I hate you Zaraki. You put me through so much pain. I was screaming and you didn't hear me, or you ignored me. Even Zangetsu and Ichigo could hear my screams but you were deaf to me. Now you need my help and you apologise. I loved hearing you abase yourself. It amused me to hear the great and powerful Kenpachi Zaraki, Captain of the 11th Division, say flowery words that he didn't really mean. You really came up with some gems. Who the hell were you quoting, because you sure as Hades didn't write the script." She paused and looked at him with no visible expression.

"I memorised every word you said. It was funny while it lasted, but it's not enough. It doesn't redeem you. You were dishonest, Zaraki. You pride yourself on your honesty and you were dishonest when you talked to me. Lying to me and you. Adages are not the only way to hide the way people think. Words are just tools. You decide their meaning. A bad day's work. Honesty is the best policy." Atonomatsuri seemed to take pleasure in Zaraki's wince at another adage.

"Of course I appeared to you, but only after you were honest and started to lose your temper," she continued. "Finally you threatened me, as I anticipated. You love threats. I appeared to you because I need the chance to be summoned. It will relieve my suffering, but I want you to suffer, just like you've made me suffer. I'll work with you, when I feel like it, but I don't trust you Zaraki. I advise you not to trust me. Trust has to be earned as does respect. I don't respect you, either. I'll repay you for all the pain and suffering you caused me. If you want a friend, look elsewhere. To have a friend you have to be a friend." Atonomatsuri said with a shake of her head.

Zaraki felt his head begin to ache as he scowled at the vulture. It was worse than he originally thought. A decomposing pink and black female vulture with a love of adages who could communicate directly to his mind. Pink was definitely not a soothing colour. Atonomatsuri hated him and wanted to punish him. He didn't like her much either. Too late. He'd waited too long. This wasn't going to work.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

I had to end it there. I've got to rethink Atonomatsuri. The adages were not planned, nor the diatribe, or the hatred, or the revenge, or the pinkness. I tried to rewrite her, but the diatribe became more intense and bitter. I'd planned Atonomatsuri's character before writing this chapter, but as I wrote she changed. Atonomatsuri was actually going to alternate between sweet, nasty and flirtatious. Maybe she will develop some sweetness later, but I doubt it. Bankai, for Zaraki, will not be easy.

When I remembered that both Zangetsu and Ichigo could hear Zaraki's zanpaku-to screaming, while they battled Zaraki, it was obvious Atonomatsuri must hate Zaraki, unless she is a masochist.

If you think Zaraki is OOC, he was trying to do something he had failed at before. If he really wants something he would be prepared to compromise, a bit.

Thank you to all the people who have reviewed this story so far. I appreciate your comments and made the chapter longer this time.

MS


	7. Standing Behind

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters,__ except Atonomatsuri who is my creation.._

The insults continue, as do the adages.

**Standing Behind**

"You've become quiet, Zaraki. Cat got your tongue? Overwhelmed by your good fortune? I'm so lucky to have a good looking shinigami; not. What are you thinking, with that crappy eye patch and ridiculous hairstyle? What's with the bells? Have you got some weird sexual fetish that requires them? Are you trying to look like a clown? Appearance maketh the man. All your appearance does is make you look like a bad impersonation of a captain. At least Aizen looked and acted like a captain," Atonomatsuri snorted maliciously. 

Zaraki shut his eyes. He could at least block out the sight of the pestilent bird.

"There are none so blind as they who will not see," said Atonomatsuri. "Zaraki, I'm talking to you. Don't you have anything to say to me?"

She waited for a reply and received none. 

"Zaraki, acknowledge me. Talking comes by nature; silence by wisdom, except in your case, there is no wisdom. Silence is the safest course for any man to adopt who distrusts himself. Do you distrust yourself Zaraki? No, you can't tell me that," her voice oozed sarcasm. "I thought you trusted only yourself. You don't trust Yachiru; otherwise you would have told her what you were doing. I think that's sad. She doesn't keep secrets from you. Poor, innocent Yachiru who acts so childlike, to have a father figure like you," Atonomatsuri again awaited a response and was peeved when Zaraki kept his eyes closed.

"Why couldn't I have been assigned to a sane Shinigami? I had to get the psychopath. A man who kills for pleasure and has no more thought in his head than how to become more powerful. A man more feared than loved and more ridiculed than feared. Hatred is as blind as love. One day you will die, Zaraki and on that day I will rejoice, especially if I am the instrument of your destruction. Death comes as the end, Kenny," she stopped with a squawk as Zaraki moved close to her.

Zaraki had heard enough. He was surprised at the depth of his anger at Atonomatsuri. Every word the filthy bird said seemed to bite into his brain. Maybe some of the words were true, but he didn't have to admit that to anyone but himself.

He pushed his face as close to the beak as he thought was safe and growled, "Shut up! Stop your stupid, friggin' beak from flapping, you decaying freak."

Atonomatsuri quickly moved away from Zaraki. She puffed up her feathers and glared at Zaraki who returned her glare. He found the glare from the clock face eyes disconcerting, but was heartily sick of her conversation.

"Okay we're stuck with each other. I've heard enough of your words. You were in pain, so what? The world is pain. Living is pain. I don't care about your pain, or your feelings," Zaraki's voice was increasing in volume.

Atonomatsuri opened her beak as if she were about to speak, but Zaraki kept talking. 

"Do you think anyone would want to have a repulsive object like you as their zanpaku-to? I don't," Zaraki yelled.

Atonomatsuri shut her beak with a clack. 

"So you hate me. Too, friggin' bad. You don't trust me or respect me. Do I care? Why do you even think I'd bloody care? So you want to kill me? Go ahead. Try," as he spoke Zaraki drew his zanpaku-to from it's sheathe.

"It's too early to try for Bankai, Zaraki," shrieked Atonomatsuri as she evaded the first swing of the blade. 

"You can't kill me with me, Zaraki. Be logical," she squawked as he swung at her again, much closer this time.

Zaraki started to laugh. "Fun. A challenge," he said as he swung the blade again.

This time Atonomatsuri did not duck but caught the blade in her beak. Zaraki tried to tug it free but she held on tenaciously.

"Let go of my blade," Zaraki growled. 

Atonomatsuri shook her head. Zaraki tried to put his foot on her head to get enough leverage to remove the blade, but she moved, evading his foot and keeping the blade steady. Zaraki hopped, following her, trying to put his foot on her head. She moved again. They glared at each other again. Zaraki tried a third time to place his foot on her head. Again she moved causing him to hop after her. This went on each of the two stubborn creatures refused to be the loser. Finally, Zaraki began to laugh. He placed his foot on the floor and then kicked the other foot at Atonomatsuri's head. As his foot connected with her skull, Atonomatsuri, surprised, let go of the blade which was the outcome Zaraki had planned.

He sheathed his blade and looked at Atonomatsuri. Atonomatsuri was shaking her head and opening and shutting her beak.

"You bastard, Zaraki," Atonomatsuri shrilled.

"Probably," his grin was feral. "Can't deny it. Don't know, don't care. Do you want to play again?"

Atonomatsuri stood still as is she was considering her next move. Suddenly she vanished. 

Zaraki jumped, swearing as he felt a beak clamp around his leg from behind. He felt the skin tear as Atonomatsuri gained purchase. He drew his zanpaku-to and managed to hit her on the side of the beak. The blade rebounded causing a shock to run up the handle. Zaraki tried another swing but Atonomatsuri had vanished again. Zaraki quickly looked at his leg. 

"Not too much damage. I'll have to replace my hakama again", he thought as he observed the shredded mess. He felt a wave of air as the beak attempted to bite the hand holding the zanpaku-to. Zaraki had been expecting this. 

"The disappearing trick will only work once on me," he thought. He had listened to some of what the bird had said. He didn't trust her. He rapidly moved out of the way and fell onto his back as she materialized under his feet. He tried to rise but was it was too late.

Atonomatsuri quickly moved onto his chest, her beak only inches from his unprotected eye.

"So you're going to blind me, are you?" observed Zaraki with interest. "I can cope with that, if I can still fight. Tosen didn't let it stop him, though he could never be the fighter I am." As he spoke he grabbed at Atonomatsuri's throat. He was disgusted at the thought of touching her, but would was determined not to lose. At his touch, she shrieked and vanished again. 

As he got to his feet, Zaraki gradually became aware that he was no longer in the room he had started his conversation with Atonomatsuri. He was somewhere other. A place he had not seen before. It appeared as if he was standing under the night sky on a dead planet. Dead suns and fragments of stars spun through space above his head. Broken clocks, shattered swords, toys ripped apart, an assortment of strange objects were littered everywhere. He saw a copy of _The Art of War _by Sun Tzu, lying face down, ripped in half. Not far away was a torn copy of _The Conquest of Gaul_ by Julius Caesar. Every item he saw was broken, torn or destroyed. Nothing was whole or complete. 

He shook his head. It didn't matter where he was. Scenery didn't influence him. He listened to see if he could hear the approach of Atonomatsuri. She appeared in front of him.

"You're in my world now, Zaraki. No one else can hear us or see us. You have even less control here than anywhere else. I am the master of all I survey. As ye sow, so shall ye reap. Are you prepared to reap the whirlwind, Kenny? You cannot leave here unless I permit. I have control. Surrender yourself to me, Zaraki," Atonomatsuri appeared gleeful in her power.

"You call me a fool, you deranged excuse for a zanpaku-to? Why should I surrender to you? You haven't won. So, I can't leave here unless you permit? You permit! Ha! I wouldn't ask an abomination to permit me to do anything." Zaraki drew his blade. "Let's dance."

Atonomatsuri cocked her head. "I thought Retsu told you to be polite to me and praise me. All you are doing is insulting me. I'll keep you here Kenny, until your will is broken. Until you scream as I screamed…"

"I've heard it all before. You're repeating yourself. Pain, screaming, whatever. Damn, you're boring. Come on you putrid carcass. You want to fight me? You want me to die? Then fight me," Zaraki slashed at her. This time he would watch for her tricks.

She vanished again. Zaraki whirled to find her doing a flying dive at his back. He parried her beak with his blade and again she vanished.

"You're not a very honest, fighter, Atonomatsuri," Zaraki yelled.

With a jolt she appeared before him. She appeared astonished and squawked loudly.

Taking advantage of her surprise Zaraki swing his blade and made contact with her torso. At the time she was phased to decay mode and the blade hit her bones with a grating sound. She disappeared again with a hiss.

"Come and fight me, you poor excuse for a zanpaku-to. Stop playing games," Zaraki called. 

There was movement to his right. Dropping his zanpaku-to, he let her beak strike him in the side and grabbed it with one hand, his other reaching for her throat. The beak was quickly withdrawn and Atonomatsuri vanished again. 

Zaraki picked up his zanpaku-to. He hated this sort of fighting. It wasn't honest. It wasn't real fighting. 

"Atonomatsuri, come and fight me properly," Zaraki roared.

Suddenly she appeared before him again, stunned. He quickly sliced into her side with his zanpaku-to, cutting the flesh which bled red liquid one minute and wriggling maggots the next as she phased from whole to decomposing.

The pain appeared to rouse her, as she shrieked, possibly with pain, and vanished.

Zaraki thought about it, quickly. Twice he had said her name and she appeared, apparently surprised. Time to test out his guess.

"Come fight me…," his next word was cut off as he felt a violent blow in his back and heard the sound of tearing material. The pain of the beak entering his back and nearly piercing his liver, distracted him for a second. He quickly turned, but she had vanished. 

Time to try, again. 

"Stand here and fight me, zanpaku-to to shinigami. Let's see who will be the master and who will be dead," he snarled. He quickly dodged her, as she tried to phase in where he was standing. He grabbed at her but was too late.

"A useful skill," he mused. "Too often, I am too late to catch her."

This would be the real test.

"Atonomatsuri," he called.

She appeared in front of him again, looking unhappy. He did not try to attack, just watched. As expected she began to vanish and he repeated her name aloud. The vanishing was reversed.

She sighed. "Damn, I thought it would take you a lot longer to work that out. The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. Never underestimate the opposition, even if it is Zaraki." She shook her head.

"So, I say your name and you appear. Useful. If I keep chanting your name I can fight you properly," Zaraki observed with a malicious grin on his face. He wiped his hand on his coat where the blood from his side had smeared. It made the grip slippery and he wanted no mistakes. He strengthened his grip on the zanpaku-to and readied to fight.

He feinted to her left. She dodged and started to vanish.

"Atonomatsuri," he hissed quickly.

She moved out of the path of the blade, spinning round and slashing at his ankle with her beak. He dodged quickly, but was too late to stop the beak from piercing the skin. She followed up her advantage attacking the other leg, higher up the thigh, but she was too late to miss the sweep of his blade as he cut at her wing. Blood and maggots oozed from the wound. 

She became airborne and flew at his fact, her beak directed at his unprotected eye. He moved quickly but too late to prevent his cheek from being sliced open. The blood ran down into his mouth and chin. The taste of his blood roused the berserker who lurked just below the surface.

They joined battle. For each injury Atonomatsuri inflicted, she was too late to prevent a similar injury to herself. The same happened for Zaraki. They fought on, neither gaining the advantage, but each too intent on winning to stop. Soon they were both bleeding from numerous wounds.

"Give up, Kenny?" puffed Atonomatsuri.

"No, it's just getting interesting. You're breathing heavily. I didn't know a zanpaku-to could be so out of shape," he observed a cruel glitter in his eye while stabbing at her face.

"That's because you never summoned me," she squealed moving her head and receiving a gash in the forehead. The blood started running into her eyes. She blinked to try to regain her full sight.

"There you go, whining again," Zaraki said as he managed to dodge her attack at his knee. "Missed me, try again," he commanded.

Atonomatsuri stood still. "No," was her reply. Her head drooped.

"A single word reply. Aren't you feeling well," Zaraki sneered.

"No," was all Atonomatsuri said.

Zaraki pierced her wing with his sword. She didn't move, didn't die, just bled and sighed. Zaraki stabbed her again. Again, no response, except a sigh.

"Why aren't you fighting back?" Zaraki demanded. "It's no fun fighting an inanimate object."

"Because it's futile," she responded as she squatted down, her body hunched. "You can keep hitting me, if you need to, Kenny. I won't fight back. If it helps your inflated ego to keep attacking, then do so. Haven't you worked it out yet?"

Zaraki paused and scratched his chin getting blood over his fingers in the process. 

"What? That I need my opponent to fight back in order enjoy a fight? Yeah, I've known that for a long time," he said reflectively. Why was that important?

"Not that! Thinking is the essence of wisdom. Think, Kenny. Lost time is never found again," was her response as she rubbed her face with a wing. "In the name, truth."

Zaraki frowned. "What are you jabbering about? Those stupid adages don't help."

"Do you want me to draw you a diagram? You can be so thick sometimes. What one does, one becomes," Atonomatsuri yawned.

"You're talking in riddles and they're not funny," Zaraki nudged her with his toe. "Come on, explain clearly. If I'm so thick, tell me."

"My name, idiot. My name," she responded.

Zaraki thought, tapping his zanpaku-to against his leg as he did so.. "Her name is Atonomatsuri. Atonomatsuri? So what? Atonomatsuri, it's just a word. But when I finally got a response when I asked her name she said 'too late". I thought it was too late to try to use her power. Retsu suggested the name Atonomatsuri and that means 'too late"."

"So you're called too late," he said. Then he started thinking aloud. "When we were fighting I thought I could dodge you, but I was just too late. The same happened with you, because…..," his voice trailed away.

"Finally you understand," Atonomatsuri mocked. "Here I was preparing to wait another decade or so. Why did it take you so long? I know I've called you thick. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. It's because you were fighting me with me. Your zanpaku-to holds my power so things happened too late. I was fighting part of my own power which sometimes made me act too late. That is part of my power. Just a tiny part," Atonomatsuri's voice sounded sleepy.

"Don't go to sleep yet. We haven't finished fighting," Zaraki said.

"I must sleep. I am wounded and need to rest. It has been too long since I have been able to move freely. I need rest and time to heal. It shouldn't take more than a few hours. I'll explain more, once I've rested, things you need to know. Zaraki, come a little closer, please," Atonomatsuri asked.

"Why should I?" Zaraki asked.

"I have something I need to tell you," Atonomatsuri said.

"It's not like anyone is going to overhear," Zaraki mocked. "We're alone here, or so you said."

"Okay, I have some thing I need to show you. It's another part of my power. You have to be close to see it," she yawned.

"I don't trust you. Why should I get closer?" Zaraki asked.

Atonomatsuri got to her feet and lunged at Zaraki with a speed that surprised him. He tried to avoid her, but was again too late. She quickly stuck out her tongue and stabbed him with the barb concealed on the end. He recoiled.

"Don't worry," she said yawning. "It won't kill you, just make you sleep. It will kill anyone else, but as long as you own my zanpaku-to, you will be safe from that poison. One man's meat is another man's poison. We haven't finished here yet and I don't want you getting bored while I sleep," Atonomatsuri said.

Her words did not provide any assurance to Zaraki. Her words became faint and hard to hear, as he collapsed to the floor. 

"I don't trust her. I don't want to die like this," Zaraki raged to himself as unconsciousness or death overcame him.

Author's Note:

Hope you like it. The delayed update was caused by writing chapters for other stories. The title of this chapter is taken from the poem at the beginning of volume 2 of the Bleach manga. 

By the way Atonomatsuri is not completely honest. She told lies to Zaraki in this chapter and the previous one. These will be explored in the next chapter. I thought I would mention it if any one noticed the inaccuracies in her comments.

Yes there will be another chapter. Is Zaraki dead? Is Atonomatsuri really sleepy? I'm not telling! It might spoil the suspense.

Thank you to all the people who have reviewed so far. Your comments are appreciated.

MS


	8. Who Falls?

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

I do own Atonomatsuri, for my sins.

Insults and adages ahead.

Warning, swearing etc, but **no romance**. Don't like, don't read. .

**Who Falls?**

As Zaraki lay there, unconscious or dying, images flashed through his mind. He remembered the struggle to stay alive when he first reached Soul Society. The constant battles, some which he caused, others which were brought to him. The first meeting with Yachiru after one of those battles. The day he entered the Soul Reaper Academy and gained a seat in the 11th Division. Images from those days were reassessed by his mind. He lingered over the memory of killing the captain in front of the majority of the division, and replacing him as the captain of the 11th Division. That had been the pinnacle of his ambition, then.

Things had changed with the arrival of the ryoka and the 'death' of Aizen. Zaraki flinched as he remembered his defeat by Ichigo and the triple betrayal of Seireitei. His brain forced him to remember the two failed attempts in calling Atonomatsuri. His final memory was of successfully calling Atonomatsuri, which now appeared another item to add to the list of disappointments. How do you measure success? The catalogue of failures that occurred after Zaraki had accomplished his ambition was something he normally refused to think about in any detail. Now he had no choice.

"I must be dying," Zaraki thought. "Why would I be thinking of these things unless death was close?"

He struggled to open his eyes and failed. He wondered where his energy had gone. "What the hell did that vulture do to me? What sort of poison does she have? Why can't I open my eyes?"

Zaraki tried to lift his hands, but found he could not even feel his limbs. He lay there, inert; waiting for death and lost consciousness again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Head hurts. It's throbbing like the last time I had a hangover. Damn, I hate headaches. Who was I drinking with, this time? Why does my thigh feel like I have a sword sticking into it?" Zaraki awoke, the complaints forming in his aching brain.

He opened his eyes. A strange light shone, adding to the pain in his head. He quickly shut his eyes against the glare. Where in damnation was he? He was uncomfortable. What was underneath him? He rubbed his temples, which sometimes helped when he had a headache. The pain eased, but not enough. He slowly reached under his back and pulled out the item that was causing the most discomfort. It felt like a wooden object that rattled as he moved it. He placed it on the ground without bothering to open his eyes. If he waited the pain might ebb.

As he waited, he refused to think of anything. Thinking just made the throbbing in his head worse. Zaraki prided himself on his ability to block out any thoughts when necessary. Emptying his mind of all activity had not been easy at first, but he had persisted. It was more restful than the infernal, incessant, internal dialogue he had originally experienced.

"The mind can deceive," he thought, then cursed as he realised his mind had deceived him into thinking. He forced his brain to remain passive.

Gradually the pain ebbed from his skull. As the pain passed, his discomfort increased and he removed a number of objects that he was lying on. He did not bother opening his eyes as he would be able to look at them when he could cope with the light.

Finally he decided it was safe, he would try again. As he opened his eyes, he was relieved that the light did not encourage his headache to worsen. The strange light, the sky scape above, the destruction below, were observed but not noticed. Instead, Zaraki noted that he didn't have the insatiable thirst he normally associated with a hangover. Slowly he sat up. Unnoticed a bell dropped from his hair to the ground. He looked at his thigh. The skin was visible through the shredded fabric of his shihakusho. A black indentation was visible, surrounded by swelling. It felt hot to the touch. What had caused that? He looked at the rest of his leg and noticed many more cuts and stab wounds, some quite deep. His clothing was ripped, jagged holes exposing his flesh. He touched his face to find more scratches and cuts. He shrugged and looked at the objects that had caused him discomfort. A broken clock, a torn book, the handle of a sword, half a teddy bear, a broken sake bottle and a wad of ripped and shredded fabric.

"What is this weird collection of objects doing here?" Zaraki asked himself. "Why am I so reluctant to remember what happened?"

As that thought passed through his mind, he remembered the whole sordid mess. He quickly looked around to see if Atonomatsuri was anywhere. He'd kill her quickly if she was still asleep. She dared to poison him! The wound still pulsed with pain, but not enough to inconvenience Kenpachi Zaraki!

He couldn't see anything that resembled Atonomatsuri but was aware he was still in that weird, nightmare world. Zaraki didn't want to be there. Boredom, even paperwork was preferable to spending any more time with Atonomatsuri.

Zaraki slowly rose to his feet and stretched. He felt his joints crack and his muscles complain at this treatment. His thigh throbbed when he put any weight on it. What was in that poison? The leg might slow him down if he had to fight and he sometimes relied on speed as well as his strength. How long had he been unconscious? He couldn't work out how much time had passed. He was not normally this stiff after sleeping rough.

"Must be the poison. I suppose I better find the hellish shrew," he thought. "I don't trust her, but she got me into this world. I suppose she knows the way out."

He walked to where he had last seen her. Observing the area, he could only see a tangle of broken objects.

"How to find her?" he mused.

He drew his zanpaku-to and prodded at the ground. Maybe he would delay killing her until he got out of here, as he didn't want to be trapped here forever. First, in order to get out, he had to find her.

"Atonomatsuri," he said aloud.

His memory had not failed him. As he said her name she appeared, dazed, as if awoken from a heavy sleep. She quickly staggered to her feet and moved away from him with as much speed as she could muster. He observed that her wounds had not healed completely and Atonomatsuri did not look well. She still bled the disgusting mixture of blood and maggots from the deeper cuts. The smaller injuries appeared to have healed while she slept. For a brief second he wondered if he looked as bad.

"I don't want to fight at the moment, Zaraki. A wise man chooses his battles," she croaked.

"I want out of here," Zaraki rasped. "Now."

"I can't do that, Zaraki. If you leave now, you will never call me again, never release me. I will again be trapped in that zanpaku-to. You will ignore my screams and disregard my voice. I know you hate me and want to be free of me. I'm sure you would take pleasure in the thought of my agony. Another twisted victory for Zaraki. Another creature tortured by your actions. If I let you go now, I will again be in the hell you created, forever," Atonomatsuri's sincerity surprised Zaraki.

"She didn't even use an adage," he observed to himself.

He moved close to her. She backed away and disappeared.

"Not again. Not again, Atonomatsuri," Zaraki hissed.

As she reappeared, Zaraki realised he did not know what to say. She was right. If he could leave now, he'd never release her again. After the last few hours he realised he didn't care if he achieved bankai. His reiatsu and skills as a fighter would be enough. He, Zaraki, would give up hopes of becoming stronger by using his zanpaku-to, as long as he didn't have to stay another second in this bizarre place with the weird bird. The fight had been interesting, but not interesting enough. He'd held back, had not removed the eye patch, but had fought honestly. He guessed that Atonomatsuri had also held back. Why, he had no idea.

He removed his eye patch and rubbed the eye underneath. "You don't get to choose the battle this time, Atonomatsuri. I'm bored with this place and I have other people to fight. Let's get this over with." He lunged at her with his full weight behind his zanpaku-to. He thought the power of his attack and the force of his reiatsu might overwhelm her and allow him to finish this battle quickly, but he was too late.

"The angry man will defeat himself in battle as well as in life. You kill me and you will never escape," she shrieked dodging his lunge, just in time.

"I don't believe you," Zaraki turned quickly and again tried to stab her, but again she evaded him.

"Why isn't she too late? How is she evading my blows," he wondered briefly.

"I'm telling the truth, Zaraki. Kill me and you will die here. Thus does conscience makes cowards of us all," Atonomatsuri was again airborne, maintaining the distance between Zaraki and herself. He was forced to keep pace with her.

"Get down here and fight, Atonomatsuri," Zaraki yelled, losing his patience.

"Using my name won't make me land. My name is a powerful tool, but it doesn't control me completely. I keep telling you Zaraki, you don't have control in this world," she responded, haughtily.

"But you don't have complete control here either, because I can't be controlled, you corrupted remnant." He jumped, slashing his sword at her, but missed. He landed badly jarring his wounded thigh. The pain in his thigh intensified and the headache returned. "Damnation. Blast. Hell," Zaraki spat in disgust at his weakness.

He slumped to his knees, squeezed his eyes shut against the light, dropped his zanpaku-to and put his head in his hands to try to ease the pain. He was oblivious to everything around him except the pressure in his skull. Distracted by the pain, Zaraki didn't notice what action his adversary was taking.

The impact from his jump had loosened another bell in his hair which now dropped, unnoticed, to the ground.

"Mustn't show weakness in front of the enemy," he thought when the pressure eased, slightly and he could think again.

He opened his eyes scowling at the light. To the right he could make out Atonomatsuri's shape. She looked different. He put his hand down to where he had dropped his zanpaku-to. His hand did not come into contact with the well known metal of his blade. He moved his hand a bit further, and then looked down. His zanpaku-to was gone!

Zaraki glared at the vulture. He could see the zanpaku-to in her beak. He climbed to his feet, wincing as his headache intensified with the movement. As he moved toward her she flapped her wings and flew straight up, again out of his reach. The zanpaku-to seemed to cause her some problems with her balance, but as she wavered, she stubbornly retained her hold. She flapped away from Zaraki, increasing her speed as she adjusted to the weight and compensated for the balance. She didn't look back.

Zaraki cursed. "The bloody bird. Not content with poisoning me, she's now trying to steal my zanpaku-to. But she is my zanpaku-to, sort of. How do you steal yourself? Oh, why is this all so friggin' complicated? Why did I get the deranged one? Why couldn't I get the dragon, or the baboon, or something that reflects my true nature, like a tiger? Instead, I get the pink vulture. It's ridiculous for the captain of the 11th Division to have that as a zanpaku-to. She's a gross embarrassment. But she knows the way out of here," he grimaced.

He tried to follow, but was hampered by his leg and the debris on the ground. Burdened as she was by the weight in her mouth she still managed to outdistance him. Zaraki, watching her and not where he was going, tripped and fell, his right temple hitting a metal object with a resounding thud. It jarred him and encouraged another burst of pain from his head. Unnoticed, another bell dropped from his hair onto the ground. Blood tricked into his right eye. He wiped it, irritably with his captain's coat, but the blood continued to flow. He replaced his eye patch to prevent the blood from annoying him further by making his eye sting.

"What in Hades is happening?" he groaned aloud.

He saw Atonomatsuri in the distance. She was not paying any attention to him, just flying further away. He stood. There was no choice. If he wanted to recover his zanpaku-to and leave this hellhole, he would have to pursue her. He followed as quickly as he could, hampered by his wounds, picking his way over the ground and kicking a path through the debris. It was not easy. His head was still throbbing and he had to keep a watch on where the bird and blade were headed. Atonomatsuri managed to remain airborne for some time, perhaps an hour, sometimes wavering, sometimes almost plunging to the ground as the blade caused her to unbalance. He was relieved when she landed and quickly tried to make his way there.

When he arrived he was breathing heavily. "The poison must still be in my system," he thought.

Atonomatsuri watched him approach, warily. Even though she had briefly rested she was panting from the exertion of flying.

Instead of rushing her and reclaiming his zanpaku-to, as he originally planned, Zaraki stopped two hundred paces from her. He could see that the zanpaku-to was firmly grasped by one of Atonomatsuri's feet. Her beak was poised ready to attack if he came closer. It was easy to see that she was exhausted, but Zaraki did not feel his normal self, either. The fight, the poison, the pain in his head, the long and difficult walk to catch up to her had tired him more than he would acknowledge. Maybe it was time to talk again.

Zaraki was surprised at the thought. "Talk! I, Zaraki, prepared to talk rather than fight? Next I'll enjoy tea ceremonies. Better to die," accidentally he spoke these thoughts aloud. Oh, bugger. Was he losing all control?

"Better to die. Die another day. In the short life of man no lost time can be afforded. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. All who died are equal. Death squares all accounts. A brave man dies but once, a coward many times. War is death's feast," Atonomatsuri gabbled. Her eyes, already disconcerting, now appeared swollen and she was swaying slightly.

"Enough. Not one original thought. Don't you remember, I hate adages," Zaraki grunted.

"Too much exertion. Too muc…" panted Atonomatsuri as she collapsed.

Zaraki stood there considering the situation. He could probably overpower her and quickly retrieve his zanpaku-to. If she died he might be released from this world, but he'd already attempted to kill her. It wasn't his preference to kill someone already wounded. He preferred to kill them while fighting. He hadn't enjoyed stabbing her earlier when she refused to fight back. Was she dead? Could he return to Seireitei without her help?

"I'm not dead, Kenny," a weak but jeering voice said.

"Don't call me that," Zaraki snapped without thinking.

"I'm getting better, Kenny," malice dripped from Atonomatsuri's words.

"I said don't call me that," Zaraki snapped again, his hands involuntary forming into fists.

"What's the problem, Kenny?" Atonomatsuri's head wobbled. "Kenny doesn't like to be called Kenny. He prefers the macho name Kenpachi Zaraki. A rose by any other name. But, all the same, he's just Kenny," she sniggered.

Zaraki felt the heat of rage pulse through his body. "I am Kenpachi Zaraki, not Kenny! How dare this vile body of a decomposing nearly dead vulture insult me and call me Kenny? Doesn't she know what I'm capable of doing? Doesn't she fear my rage? If I get out of here I'll never call her," his angry thoughts, and her words, disturbed him.

Acting on his anger and forgetting his original reluctance to kill except in battle, he stepped nearer, intending to snap her neck. She was a bird. He'd killed his share of birds that way.

"That's so ridiculous. You remind yourself who you are! "I am Kenpachi Zaraki, not Kenny""; Atonomatsuri's imitation of Zaraki was cruelly accurate. "So you'll never release me and you're going to snap my neck as if I were a simple chicken. It ain't that easy. If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride," Atonomatsuri commented.

"By the way, I'm not psychic. That would be funny, me psychic and you psycho," she snorted. "You were talking aloud. Bad habit to get into, Zaraki. The lunatics are taking over the asylum. I don't fear you, Kenny. I know very well what you are capable of doing. I was with you when you did most of it. Losing control again, Kenny. It's just so funny," she laughed raggedly.

Her words, forced him to recognise that he was losing control over himself. That realisation was enough to stop him moving any closer. He slumped to the floor and rubbed his face with his hands, angrily trying to remove her image, her words, and the recent events from his mind. The angry rubbing caused his cuts to reopen and he again mopped the blood with the shredded remains of his captain's coat. Her words were affecting him more than sword blows.

Zaraki felt so….powerless. He almost retched at the thought. Him, powerless! What power did he have here? Atonomatsuri had his zanpaku-to. He relied upon his zanpaku-to to fight. He had fought with that blade before he entered the Soul Reaper Academy. It had been with him when he met Yachiru. His zanpaku-to was his constant companion. He used it in his battles. It was closer to him than any living being, even though it was only a tool. He trusted the metal of his blade.

Why was he thinking this way? He had must have been weakened by her poison. The poison was affecting his brain, making him soft. He didn't know how to escape. She constantly called him by a hated name and refused to stop even when he was ready to kill her.

"Feeling bad, Zaraki? Feeling sick? I forgot to mention that little side effect of my poison. It may cause nausea. If symptoms persist, see your doctor," the last comment seemed to amuse Atonomatsuri.

"Maybe your nausea is caused by something other. Did you have to swallow something that disagreed with you? Your pride perhaps? Pride cometh before a fall. Who falls, Kenny? Who falls?" Atonomatsuri asked the repeated question in an unusually soft but intense tone. She still wobbled and appeared unsteady, her eyes were glazed.

"Who falls? Riddles! Words! Questions! Say what you mean!" the words erupted from Zaraki, filled with the bitterness and anger of his earlier thoughts. The nausea returned.

He knew the nausea was caused by his feeling of powerlessness. No poison could make him feel ill and sick of himself at the same time. He shook his head, trying to dismiss the thoughts.

"Who falls? You fall, Kenny. You fall," Atonomatsuri quietly hissed the words.

Zaraki's head shot up as the words registered. He stared at Atonomatsuri, dumbfounded. What was she saying? What the hell did she mean?

"You fall and you fail, Kenny. We can't work together. You've proven that now. Well, prepare for death because I'm not releasing you from here. You can stay here and rot, but don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I will stay with you, until the end. We will be as united in death as we are in life. In death I will be released, forever. Let those who God joined together, never be put asunder." The words were not spoken in the usual tone. There was despair evident in Atonomatsuri's voice.

The feeling of nausea overcame him. No control, no power, death in this place. His stomach lurched at the thought. His last days to be spent in the company of a critical, hate filled creature that irritated and disgusted him. The bile rushed to his mouth and he gagged. He spat the liquid that filled his mouth onto the ground and tried to steady his breathing.

"Fear, Zaraki?" Atonomatsuri started to say.

"No, not fear," Zaraki cut in quickly. "What do I have to fear?" The last words came out with less conviction than Zaraki wished.

Something she said was reverberating in his mind. He seized on that thought to distract his thoughts. "United in life. What did that mean? And those other words sounded like something from a Christian wedding. I've heard them somewhere before. What is she trying to tell me? What does it mean? Twisted bloody bird."

Atonomatsuri continued to yabber on, but Zaraki ignored her.

"She constantly mentions death as if it were an obsession. Is she insane? Sane enough to know how to rouse my anger and use words that distract me. United in life, death will release her. Joined together," he mused, scratching his cheek. "A suicidal zanpaku-to? If she was suicidal she would have let me kill her by now." An idea started forming in the back of his mind, but it wasn't clear, yet. Atonomatsuri's voice distracted him.

"Shut up for a moment. I'm thinking," Zaraki requested without raising his voice or looking at her.

"Always a first time," Atonomatsuri yawned. She opened her beak to make another comment.

Zaraki glared at her and slid closer his hands reaching for her throat but he was too late. She shut her beak and quickly moved away. Self consciously she started preening her feathers, occasionally glancing at him reflectively, as if she too were considering the situation.

"That creature talks too much, but what exactly has she told me? A bit about her powers, about her pain and the constant "you will die here" speech. She says she has the power in this place. If she has the power, then I shouldn't be able to hurt her, but I have. She says she has control but she doesn't control everything here, because she can't control me. We can't work together, but we are united. Too many contradictions. Is even half of what she says, true? Whenever she says something that doesn't mock me that possibly is where the truth lies. She said she'd work with me, but that was before we fought. Now she says it won't work. She gives up too easily. I can't kill her with the zanpaku-to, I believe that, but she doesn't like me to touch her. Maybe I can kill her with my hands. I can't kill her with the zanpaku-to anyway because she has it. Death, death, death, death. She questions my sanity?" Zaraki leaned back and looked into the ruined sky scape and landscape. All he could see was destruction and Atonomatsuri. Another thought struck him.

"What is this place, Atonomatsuri? Don't lie, this time," he said quickly as she opened her beak.

She rubbed her eyes with her bedraggled wings and paused before she answered. "Work it out yourself, Zaraki. Wisdom is the principal thing: therefore get wisdom; and with all thy getting get understanding," was all she said. She yawned again.

"Interesting. You won't tell me. That's a contradiction, you festering eyesore. You told me that this was your world. Now you won't tell me where we are," Zaraki observed.

"Clever, Kenny, clever. I thought your attention span was shorter than that. Time ripens all things; no man is born wise," she responded her head resting on her chest. Zaraki noticed the signs. She was tired.

"So, this is not your world," Zaraki grinned at her. "Whoever created it must be insane."

"I've always thought so, Kenny. It's your mind, after all." Atonomatsuri said, nearly dozing. As soon as she said the words her eyes shot open as did her beak.

The shock at what she said staggered Zaraki. It was obvious to him that her fatigue had made her careless and she had revealed something she meant to keep secret.

If she spoke the truth, this wasteland of destruction was his mind. Zaraki needed time to think about this. Maybe, just maybe, she was lying.

_

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Author's Note:_

Okay, it's too short. (Grumbles to self Over 4,000 words and it's too short. Mutter, grumble.) Actually, I find those comments funny. Thank you to the people who review, favourite and author alert. It's appreciated.

I didn't kill off Zaraki, but you probably noticed that. It's rather hard having a corpse as one of the main characters. Zaraki'd just lie there and his action would be limited to festering and decomposing. I'm sure Atonomatsuri would have plenty to say. It would get boring, fast.

Reviews, please. It would be a shame to end the story here, wouldn't it? Bwahahahahaha.

MS


	9. Nothing is Plain

_Tite Kubo owns the copyright and characters of Bleach. I own Atonomatsuri._

I don't think Zaraki is stupid, or unintelligent. I think he is intellectually lazy and doesn't like to think. Atonomatsuri may seem more intelligent but she hasn't had much to do, except think.

If you want to read about the powers displayed so far by Atonomatsuri, read on. (If it was me, I'd skip it. Writing it made me bang my head against the wall a few times. I can't imagine trying to read it without a stimulant of some kind.)

Quickly, scroll down and start reading the actual chapter instead of these ravings. This is your final warning.

Here is a recap of Atonomatsuri's powers and other important things so far:

1. Atonomatsuri is the physical manifestation of Zaraki's zanpaku-to.

2. When Zaraki was fighting Atonomatsuri with his zanpaku-to, her special power of 'too late' was invoked. This power is not fully released as Zaraki has not yet achieved release of his zanpaku-to (huh) but Atonomatsuri's manifestation means she's partially released (my eyes start rolling around about now). During the fight Zaraki and Atonomatsuri were fighting with the partially released 'too late' power. This power was in conflict and affected both of them as both had the same power. (Now do you see why my head hurts?). So they were often too late to dodge blows. I hope that's clear (as mud).

3. Atonomatsuri has a poisonous bard in her tongue (how appropriate).

4. She can fly (but not very well)

5. She can talk direct to Zaraki's mind, sometimes.

6. She has been in Zaraki's mind before, many times, and understands it better than he does. (I begin to pity Atonomatsuri.)

7. She phases from healthy to rotting.

8. She can turn invisible, but has to reappear if Zaraki says her name.

Summary over. I apologise for any headaches incurred, blackouts or possible seizures, but I accept no responsibility. You were warned.

Hope you enjoy the chapter.

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Nothing is Plain

Zaraki tried to understand. 'How can I be trapped in my own mind? How could this be my mind? Have I gone crazy? Is Atonomatsuri real, or the product of insanity? Do I like paperwork? No, scratch the last question. It's not important. Or maybe it is. Oh, hell, who knows what is real?'

He was having trouble assimilating the information. Since this whole thing had started he'd had to think more than he normally did for months and he still had the headache. He didn't like to think because was dangerous. Thinking released old memories, old idealisms; things he had shut away in his mind since he had decided to become Kenpachi Zaraki. An old memory of his original stupid idealism surfaced and he suppressed it quickly, also suppressing the pang of loss.

He turned and glared at Atonomatsuri who was still staring at him in shock. Her eyes were still protruding and swollen. As he glared at the vulture he noticed another difference in her eyes. The spinning clock face halted for a second every so often, and the broken clock face was now indicating 12 o'clock.

'Why has that changed,' Zaraki wondered briefly, but then dismissed the tiny feeling of curiosity. 'She is to blame for all of this. Even if she is the product of insanity, she is still the focus of events. Should I try to grab my zanpaku-to, or should I try to kill her? Maybe both. Kill two birds with one stone. Crap, now I'm doing it. I don't care is she turns purple and start's doing the lucky dance. She's still my enemy; but she's the only way out of here. I believe that, now. I don't want to think about the possibility that this is my mind. If it is my mind, why is everything this way? Why is everything destroyed? I refuse to think about it.'

The silence remained unbroken.

'I've got to get out of here. If I can somehow convince her that I've changed my mind, that I will release her if I get out of this pit, maybe she will release me. Hey, maybe I should release her once when I get out. Yeah, I could do that and quickly turn the release around. It wouldn't hurt to do it once,' as he thought this through, Zaraki realised something else.

A gentle breeze started to blow. It made the debris on the ground move a little, dust swirled. Zaraki had noticed no wind, no sign of natural phenomenon until now.

'I wonder where that's blowing from. Why would a wind blow in my mind? Maybe it means something, maybe not. It doesn't matter anyway. The problem is I don't know how to release her. I know she might appear if I say her name, but that is not how you release a zanpaku-to, or so I've been told, when I've actually listened. I get sick of hearing people crap on about their zanpaku-to's and the amazing powers they have. It's all a wank if you ask me. Trying to make the powers of the zanpaku-to appear as their own. Making themselves look like they have something unique. Maybe, if I ask her, she will tell me how I can release her. Maybe that will convince her that I'm serious. I can't even guess what the bloody bird will do.'

Zaraki did not realise that his thoughts toward Atonomatsuri were changing. The wind strengthened. It was now a breeze and it was cold.

'Beware the Winds of Change,' Atonomatsuri finally said, having managed to recover from her shock. Her voice lacked the strength of her earlier comments. 'For the wind doth blow and change is inevitable. I didn't lie, Zaraki. This is your mind, this overwhelming destruction and desolation is within you and you are now within it. You created your mind, Kenny and now you cannot escape it. Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change. You never change, Kenny, so which are you?'

Zaraki sighed. 'Is it going to be another monologue?' he wondered.

'What do you mean this time? A wind has started blowing, yeah so what. I wouldn't call it a wind of change. It's just wind, like the wind you're constantly spouting, except it's not hot,' Zaraki sniggered at his pathetic attempt at humour.

Atonomatsuri did not join in the laughter or respond with her usual barbed comment or adage. The pink of her feathers was fading to a less vibrant shade. She appeared to be struggling to remain upright. Zaraki noticed her silence and her struggles.

'Haven't you got a smart comment, this time? I must admit the silence is fine, but its' not like you to miss any freakin' opportunity to insult me. Come on Atonomatsuri, I've worked it out. You prefer to fight using words, not actions, but all the same, you like to fight.' Zaraki said.

Again, Atonomatsuri did not respond.

'Say something, anything,' Zaraki commanded.

'Take off your eye patch, Zaraki.'

Zaraki wondered about what she had said. 'Why take off my eye patch? Unless you want to fight again, then yeah, I'll take it off.'

'Why do you have difficulty in complying with a simple request? No sense as uncommon as common sense. Remove your eye patch, Zaraki, please.'

It was the 'please' that affected him. Without consciously thinking, his hands moved toward his face. He stopped himself.

'Give me a reason, a compelling reason, to remove it. So far, you've told me little that's useful. You cherish your knowledge, but are unwilling to share,' Zaraki reasoned.

The breeze became a little stronger and the cold increased. Unconsciously Zaraki rearranged his shredded clothes to provide more protection from the wind. A bell from his hair was shaken free by the breeze and fell unnoticed.

'You want a reason?' Atonomatsuri laughed gently, with an undercurrent of a sneer. Reason and Kenny. There's an odd couple. Okay, here's my reason. You're still affected by my poison, aren't you?'

Zaraki scowled, and then quickly tried to assume his feral grin.

'Don't know what you mean!' he said resisting the truth. 'I don't feel any different.'

'Then why are you sitting down, talking to me instead of trying to grab your zanpakuto and strangle me?' Atonomatsuri asked.

'Blast,' thought Zaraki.

'Come on. Kenny, admit it,' she urged.

'Admit what? That I want to strangle her and get my zanpaku-to back, or that I'm feeling weak? I don't want to admit to anything,' Zaraki thought.

'What do you mean?' Zaraki asked.

'Admit you're feeling weaker,' Atonomatsuri retorted.

'Okay, maybe I'm feeling less powerful than normal, but not much,' Zaraki grudgingly admitted, frowning.

'My poison, not only affects your body, but also your reiatsu.'

'So what? I don't see a problem. My body will recover. My reiatsu is something I use in fighting, so it shouldn't be a problem,' Zaraki responded his frown deepening.

"God, you're acting thick again, Kenny. Earlier you managed to catch on quickly, but now you're being as intelligent as a blind pimple,' she sighed wearily. 'Truth finds foes where it makes none.' Atonomatsuri blinked slowly and painfully as though her eyes hurt. 'Haven't you listened to the lecture about how the owner's reiatsu affects their zanpaku-to?'

'Yeah, so?' Zaraki was exasperated. She was still talking in riddles.

'My poison is affecting your reiatsu, understand?'

Zaraki nodded, slowly.

'That means your reiatsu is much less than normal. That in turn is affecting both of us, making us weaker. For you, the decrease in reiatsu will increase the strength of my poison and it may kill you. I didn't realise this would happen,' Atonomatsuri's voice held the hint of sadness.' For me, it means I have difficulty in recovering from my wounds. I'm dying. Are you following me so far?' There was a touch of impatience in Atonomatsuri's question.

'You're saying, if I take off my eye patch, I'll feel better and you won't die,' Zaraki replied.

'Finally, you've grasped it. I was beginning to wonder if I'd need to try and explain it in song and dance. I don't understand why you have such trouble understanding such simple concepts,' she said, exasperated.

'Because, it's not simple. I don't know anything about zanpaku-to's except how to fight with one that's unreleased. It's never been necessary to know. Why should I remember conversations about something that didn't interest of affect me? I have to listen to enough crap in the captain's meeting,' Zaraki stopped himself from saying any more.

Atonomatsuri looked at Zaraki, measuring him.

'You're right, Kenny,' she sighed gustily. 'It isn't simple. Step by step one goes far. It isn't simple for you or for me. Now will you remove the eye patch, please? Or do you want to die here?'

'You said you would never release me from this place and we would die together. Now you've change your mind? Are you going to release me, Atonomatsuri?'

She eyed him slyly, but tiredly. 'I'll make a deal with you, Zaraki. A one time offer that won't be repeated. You take off your eye patch and I'll give back, well me.'

'Do you mean you, or the actual zanpaku-to,' Zaraki asked warily.

Atonomatsuri giggled. It was not a pleasant sound. 'The zanpaku-to, Kenny. I know you don't want me. Needs must as the devil drives'

'How can I trust you, you maggot infested filth? I don't know how many times you've lied to me, or hidden the truth with words. You give me the zanpaku-to and I might remove the eye patch,' Zaraki felt anger at her belief that he would do as he was told.

The wind again increased in force and cold. Involuntarily, Zaraki shivered.

'If that's the way you want to play it. Into each life some rain must fall. Here is your zanpaku-to, or at least the outward form.' Atonomatsuri released the blade and stepped back, wobbling with each step. At one instant she looked on the point of falling, but recovered.

Zaraki quickly got to his feet and recovered his blade. The effort tired him but he tried not to exhibit any signs of weakness. Then his injured thigh gave way and he collapsed to the ground. Another bell became detached from his hair and rolled away under a torn painting of a river in springtime. At the same time, Atonomatsuri also lost her battle with gravity and squatted awkwardly.

'Are you going to remove your eye patch, Zaraki?' Her voice was considerably weaker. Her pink feathers had faded to grey in patches.

'Nah. I only said I might. I'm not convinced. Anyway, I've got my zanpakuto back. I can kill you and that will be the end of it. I'm fine,' Zaraki baited her. A wave of exhaustion overcame him. The strength of the wind increased again as did the cold.

'Aren't you feeling tired, now, Zaraki? Can you feel the wind and the increasing cold? Don't you even wonder what the Winds of Change can do?' Atonomatsuri's voice had dropped to just above whispering level. 'We don't have much time. The winds bring change rapidly. It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory. If you don't wish to survive, Kenny, and then don't change and we will both die, soon.'

'More friggin' riddles,' Zaraki rubbed his face, hard. His eyes hurt. Without thinking about it he removed his eye patch and rubbed both eyes. Then he realised his error.

'Blast,' he exclaimed. 'That was a mistake. I didn't mean, oh damn,' Zaraki hit the ground with his clenched fist.

He noticed the absence of something and looked up. The wind had gone. The cold had gone. The sky brightened a little.

'What? Why did the wind stop? What is going on in this freakish place? I don't understand,' Zaraki said confounded.

'At least you speak the truth, Kenny. You don't understand. The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it. I'll remind you that this 'freakish place' is your mind. About this fact I do not lie,' Atonomatsuri's voice had strengthened, a little, in the few seconds since Zaraki removed his eye patch.

Zaraki looked at her. The greying feathers were slowly turning pink. Her eyes looked a little less swollen. She was still squatting but seemed less uncomfortable. Zaraki looked at her curiously and then looked at the eye patch in his hand. Maybe she hadn't been lying.

He then examined the wound in his thigh. It was still swollen and hot to the touch, but it did not seem to be throbbing as much. Some strength has returned, but still not enough to engage in another heated combat. His hands moved to replace the eye patch.

'Please, don't. I need more time, just a little more time,' again that uncertain, pleading quality was present in Atonomatsuri's voice.

'Answer some questions and I won't replace it, if I think you're being truthful,' Zaraki bargained.

Atonomatsuri looked hurt. It was quite amazing the number of expressions she could assume, considering her appearance.

'I tell the truth, or at least a version of the truth. Truth is in the eye of the beholder,' she said defensively.

'I thought that was beauty. Blast, now you've got me talking about adages. Ignore that. You can't distract me this time,' he glared at Atonomatsuri forcefully.

'Is this wasteland my mind?' Zaraki grated on the words.

'Yes. It is your mind,' she answered briefly.

The shock reverberated through Zaraki. 'Can't think about that now. I'll think about it later, if ever. I have to ask her something else.'

'How can I be trapped in my own mind?' Zaraki asked.

'Insane people are trapped by their own minds. Sanity is after all a state of mind,' she retorted.

'That's not an answer,' as he spoke Zaraki commenced replacing the eye patch.

'Stop! You're not insane. I mean I'm not a manifestation of your insanity. I have the power to draw you into your mind when you call my name, if it's necessary and it was. That way you have to listen to me. I had to find out if there was any possibility of convincing you to release me, to acknowledge me. I am the key. I can bring you here and let you go,' Atonomatsuri gabbled, fright evident in her voice.

'Can I leave here without your help? Answer me,' he said as she hesitated.

'You can leave here without my help, but then we would both be dead. Either death or I can release you. Hope dies last of all,' she moved aside as Zaraki tired to grab her. 'I can release you, but I choose not to, yet.'

'That's the most promising comment you've made so far. No more threats of 'we will die here together' or similar garbage?' Zaraki noticed that Atonomatsuri looked very uncomfortable, but appeared to be recovering.

Her eyes were no longer swollen or protruding and the clock faces had returned to their original appearance. The hesitation in the spinning hand had vanished. Atonomatsuri did not appear to enjoy his observations.

'I never really intended to kill you and I can't kill you now you've defeated the Winds of Change. I lost that ability when they stated to blow,' she burst out with reluctance appearing ashamed of her failure.

Hearing these words made Zaraki pause. 'Defeat something? What have I defeated? I know the wind stopped blowing and she made indirect comments about it before, but what the hell is she talking about.'

Zaraki held up his eye patch. 'Explain the Winds of Change, or the eye patch goes back on. I know you look better, but your wounds haven't healed, yet.'

'The Winds of Change appear for you and only you, Kenny. Your mind is a mire of destruction and despair. You really should think more often, it keeps your mind in a more flexible state. Instinctive reaction is all very well,' she stopped with a squawk as Zaraki moved his eye patch toward his eye.

'The Winds of Change mean that you are prepared to finally change something in your mind. They started to blow when you understood that this place is your mind. Also, briefly you thought something from your past that you had suppressed for a long time. Then you changed your mind about something else. I don't know what you were thinking,' she added quickly.

'It's not enough. More information,' he urged.

'They blew stronger as you began experience some sort of change in your mind. When you decided not to kill me the wind strengthened, but you had to work with me. If you hadn't compromised the Winds of Change would have killed us both, freezing us as your inability to change has frozen you, Kenny. There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. I don't understand fully how The Winds of Change work. When you took off your eye patch you defeated the Winds of Change. It proved that you had changed, permanently, if unconsciously. You were prepared to help me,' finishing the long explanation, Atonomatsuri sighed.

'It was a mistake. I didn't remove my eye patch to help you,' Zaraki said. "I didn't mean to help you.'

'Yes, you did, but not consciously. I don't want to go into a long discussion about the actions of the unconscious mind at the moment. I'm too tired,' Atonomatsuri yawned.

Zaraki thought aloud about what she'd said. 'I won a battle I didn't know I was fighting, but in doing so I also defeated myself. Damn philosophical speculations,' he rubbed his eyebrow. 'You never intended to kill me. Huh? Then why all the threats?' Zaraki looked at Atonomatsuri who refused to meet his stare.

He shrugged. He'd find out later, or not at all. It didn't matter.

'I'm feeling better. The wound is not hot to touch anymore, but it's still swollen,' Zaraki noticed as he prodded his leg.

'What now, Atonomatsuri? Do we fight again?' he asked the sleepy vulture.

'No point. We cannot defeat each other. We can kill each other, yes, but if I die, you die and vice-versa, or verse visa', she replied, her eyes shutting.

Zaraki decided to stop thinking. Too much information made his head hurt. He sat there looking at the sky. It did not interest him very much.

'I'm bored,' Zaraki said after a few minutes of silence prodding Atonomatsuri with his zanpaku-to. 'Let's fight, you festering, incompetent zanpaku-to.'

'Your goads do not impress me. You wouldn't be bored if you used your mind more. I won't fight you, yet. No point, as I said before. Hasty judgements are generally faulty ones,' Atonomatsuri replied without opening her eyes.

Zaraki tried poking her again, but she batted the zanpaku-to aside with her beak and then poked out her barbed tongue.

'Don't annoy me, Kenny. I'm quite capable of poisoning you again if you irritate me enough, and you'll be 'too late' to get out of my way. Arrogance is the obstruction of wisdom. It will take you even longer to recover and I might enjoy fighting you while you are weak and I am strong. Malice hath a sharp sight and strong memory. If you're so bored, explain to me why you are obsessed with fighting,' she requested.

'I like fighting. It's fun,'

Atonomatsuri opened her eyes and observed Zaraki with derision. 'Fun! Death and loss, fun? You are a seriously disturbed individual if you really believe that, Zaraki. Truth seeks no corners. You demanded I speak the truth. What goes around comes around. It's your turn, Kenny.'

'I like fighting. It's the one thing that makes me feel that I exist. I live to fight. That's it. Nothing more. It's not complex,' Zaraki argued.

Atonomatsuri shook her head, sadly. 'Come on, Kenny. That's a partial truth at best and very partial. If thou art in company with others, be not ashamed of Truth. Why do you fight? Who is your opponent?'

'Who is my opponent? What sort of crap question is that? Who ever I'm fighting is my opponent. There's nothing deep and meaningful about it,' Zaraki paused, and then flushed as he remembered something he had buried deep within the recesses of his mind.

'Ah, you remember. I thought you would. The Winds of Change stirred that memory. Come on, spit it out, Kenny. Words are the voice of the heart. If you admit it, I'll even consider discussing how to get out of here,' Atonomatsuri's voice took on a purring, persuasive tone.

'You want me to remember a forgotten truth. I don't like to think. I don't want to remember,' Zaraki burst out in anger.

'But doesn't Kenny want to get out of here? Kenny, don't you want to leave here? Get back to your real life and your friends and your position of Captain of the 11th Division? The great, the one and only Kenpachi Zaraki. A friend is easier lost than found,' sniggered Atonomatsuri.

'She must be feeling better,' Zaraki thought. 'Damn! I preferred her when she was nearly dying. Less sarcasm.'

'What do you want, harpy? Self realisation or some such junk? You want the reason why I fight?' Zaraki paused and spoke slowly. 'Each time I fight, I fight against Death, not some paltry human or hollow or shinigami. I fight against Death. When I win I have beaten Death back, I have won power over Death. If I lose,' Zaraki's voice became hoarse. 'When I lose, Death gains strength. I won't lose to Death. I must defeat him. Death is the only opponent worth defeating. When I lost to Ichigo, I felt Death applaud the victory. I've got to beat Death. I've got to defeat everyone. It doesn't matter if I kill them, or not. I just have to defeat them,' Zaraki stopped. He was panting. Then he laughed.

'That's not my true reason. That was what I thought when I was an idealistic fool. Now, I just enjoy fighting for fighting's sake. You wanted a reason? There is none,' he grinned, hoping that she would just leave it alone, but knew the hope was fated to not be realised.

'Really, Kenny. If I had hands I would clap. Such melodramatic declarations. Such sincerity. Such blind idealism,' Atonomatsuri's customary snigger turned into a laugh. 'Oh, I wish your Division could have heard that. Idealism from their Captain,' she laughed again.

Zaraki's hands moved toward her neck and she quickly backed away.

'Sorry, Zaraki. I know you honestly voiced your reasons. I know the reasons you fight, but you have hidden the truth from yourself for so many years. It's one of the reasons you saved Yachiru. She would have died without you,' Atonomatsuri was prepared to continue but Zaraki interrupted.

'Enough. This sentimentality is enough to make me want to vomit. I lied. I fight because I enjoy it. If you ever bring this up again, I will kill you. I don't care if I die too. End of discussion.' Before Atonomatsuri could commander the conversation any further he asked, 'So let's talk about getting out of here. What new stupid idea rests in your feeble brain?'

'Getting out of here. Yeah, we can do that, but it requires something I don't want to ask of you. I don't want to give it to you, either,' Atonomatsuri said.

'What? A disease? Money? Sake? Good will? Beak polish? A pill to sweeten your nature?' Zaraki was surprised at his increase in sarcasm.

Atonomatsuri laughed, 'Watch it, Kenny. I think you're developing a sense of humour. It's nothing as trivial as those things you've mentioned. The cautious seldom err. You have to give me your trust and I have to give you my trust.'

The words echoed in the silence of the desolate world. Zaraki and Atonomatsuri avoided looking at each other.

'Trust! Her! I'd sooner trust Yachiru with chocolate. At least I wouldn't be disappointed when she ate it,' Zaraki thought and found he was shaking his head. 'I can't trust her. She's tried to kill me and poison me. Trust is one of those things I don't do.'

'I know it is not easy. A narrow mind has a broad tongue. You want to leave; you have to learn to release me. That requires trust,' Atonomatsuri's voice broke the swollen silence.

'You told me never to trust you. I remember. You also said you didn't trust me. Should I believe you now?' Zaraki sneered.

'Then we are at an impasse. I cannot let you out until you learn to release me. For that I need your trust. Can you trust me if only enough to secure your release from here?

'I don't know.'

They sat there silent. A slight cool breeze started to blow.

* * *

Finally, some explanations and lots more questions to be answered. Atonomatsuri likes to dodge direct answers. 

Thank you for the reviews. It's great that people are enjoying the story. I hope this chapter does not disappoint.

Reviews please. You know the drill. Reviews mean updates. No reviews mean I work on another story or do something else, like sleep. I know how this story ends.


	10. Destination

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

The question of whether Zaraki can trust is not an easy one to answer.

**

* * *

**

Destination

Atonomatsuri opened her beak.

'Don't say it,' Zaraki said looking at the sky.

She ignored his comment. 'The Winds of Change have returned,' she said plainly.

'I noticed, but thanks for stating the bleeding obvious. I'll just sit here and think of nothing. That means they won't get any worse. You can't force me to trust you. Haven't you got some pithy adage about trust?' Zaraki jeered.

'A fool may be known by six things: anger, without cause; speech, without profit; change, without progress; injury, without objective; putting trust in a stranger; and mistaking foes for friends.' I think that sums you up nicely, Kenny. Pity there isn't something there about refusing to use your mind. I think I'll add a seventh, just for you. What should it be? Brain, without thought? Mind without sense? Mind rotting for no purpose? No fear, no brain? Damn, I thought it would be easier than this, but there are so many possibilities. What do you think, Kenny. Oh, sorry, wrong question. I used the word think,' Atonomatsuri moved further away from Zaraki as she spoke.

It was evident that she was using her words to rouse him to action, perhaps to anger. To make him think, to pursue and attack, and perhaps increase the force of the Winds of Change.

'You're not describing me with that spate of words. I don't put my trust in a stranger, otherwise I would trust you.' Zaraki, replaced his eye patch, lay down and closed his eyes. 'You won't fight me; you won't talk to me without riddles, you won't answer my questions and you keep trying to make me angry. If you're going to bore me, I may as well sleep.'

'Can't you sleep with the eye patch off, Zaraki,' Atonomatsuri asked, plaintively.

'Don't want to. You've recovered enough. You keep telling me you're tired, especially when I'm asking questions. I'm tired too. Bloody tired of this place, your face, your words and I'm friggin' tired of the Winds of sodding Change. They're unimportant. I don't want to trust you, I don't need to trust you, I will not trust you. I won't be forced to an action that I can't accept.'

Silence. The breeze blew. Zaraki lay there, not thinking, not feeling, existing. Every time a random idea crossed his mind, he suppressed it. Finally, he slept.

When he woke the world had not changed. Atonomatsuri had not relented and released him from the cursed place. He looked into the sky as he lay there. Had the sky brightened? Did one star seem whole? It was his imagination. He sat up, unknowingly leaving a bell from his hair where he had lain. He was awake now; there was little point in lying there.

The breeze still blew; broken debris still littered the surface. He hated looking at the landscape. Something caught his eye. Rising to his feet he moved to the object that caught his attention. It was the book he had found earlier, or was it? That copy had been torn in half. This copy of _The Art of War _by Sun Tzu while obviously well read, was whole.

He quickly leafed through the book, finding well remembered passages. He remembered his excitement when he had first read the book, the careful strategies that had fired his imagination. This book had been his inspiration, in the days when he still felt excitement and inspiration for anything other than fighting.

'I'm sure this book was torn in half, but wait, that was before I chased Atonomatsuri. It must be a different book,' he assured himself and then looked down. The broken clock he had lain on was there. It was still broken. There was an unbroken sake bottle. Zaraki picked that up quickly hoping that it contained some sake. No liquid moved within. He cast the bottle away from him in disgust. It bounced, but did not break.

He scratched his head. What was going on? Winds blowing, broken objects repairing themselves and following him. Why was this his mind? Did he deserve a mind like this? What had caused this destruction? He'd wanted to know before, but didn't want to ask. Atonomatsuri would probably explain it with the continual use of adages or even similes and homilies. She would also choose the most insulting method to explain. But who else could he ask while he was here? Maybe he should ask the bird. He was not sure he wanted to hear the answer, even if it was the truth but it was better than thinking about it.

The wind increased in strength and cold.

'Damn, friggin' wind. It's fine if I don't freaking' think. But if I don't think of a way to escape, I'll die and be stuck here. Or do I mean die, or be stuck here? Atonomatsuri, get your tail over here,' Zaraki yelled.

The vulture appeared to his right, looking sleepy. He walked toward her, his stride purposeful. At his approach Atonomatsuri spread her wings as if preparing to fight or fly. She thrust out her beak and hissed.

'What's your problem?' Zaraki asked.

'That should be obvious. When folly passes by reason draws back, Kenny. You are my problem,' Atonomatsuri said.

Before she could commence her normal diatribe, Zaraki cut in.

'Shut it. Not interested,' he paused not sure which question to ask first. He decided on the one most important to him.

'Do I have to trust you to release you? Does there have to be trust on both sides? I want to get out of here, but there are limits to what I will do.'

She looked at him, her head tilted to one side and blinked slowly as if considering his question.

'The truth is not always what we want to hear. I will not let you leave this place until you learn to release me. You cannot release me unless we trust each other. One is inextricably linked to the other, Kenny. You want to get out of here, you have to trust me. It is as unpalatable to me as it is to you. Do you think I want to trust a psychopath? Do you think I want to trust a person who has a mind like this? A little neglect may breed a great mischief, though I fear the neglect of your mind may not be called little,' Atonomatsuri said sardonically.

Zaraki was struck by what she said. It encouraged him to ask the question he was reluctant to utter.

'Why is my mind like this?'

Atonomatsuri started to laugh. The sound was unexpected as there was no humour. Only derision and pain flavoured the laughter. She flapped her wings, shut her eyes and continued to laugh. Zaraki could not make himself heard over the noise of the laughter and the increasing wind.

Finally the vulture regained control. 'You finally asked! How many will listen to truth when you tell it? Are you sure you want to know, Kenny? I know you are curious, but do you really want to know?' She watched him closely as she waited for his answer.

Zaraki hesitated. He looked at the sky, the broken planets, the debris on the ground and then he looked at the book in his hand. It was time to understand. If he was going to stay in his mind until he died, because he was not prepared to trust Atonomatsuri, at least he could find out why his mind was this way, and if there was any way to repair the damage. That was only because he was stuck here. Maybe if he repaired his mind he might think of a plan to escape.

Not that he would care if he could escape. He was happy not to think. If he knew he could get out of here, his mind could continue rotting. He'd help the process by consuming large amounts of sake. His mind had only ever brought him trouble. It was thinking that had got him into this situation in the first place. If that was what thought could do, he was better off fighting, not thinking.

'I want to know,' Zaraki said reluctantly, preparing for the onslaught of words, accusations, sarcastic remarks and adages that he was sure would spew forth from Atonomatsuri's beak.

'You made it like this,' Atonomatsuri said.

Zaraki waited for her to continue. Atonomatsuri continued to look at him, her disconcerting gaze made him feel uncomfortable. The wind increased.

'Is that it? Is that all you're going to say?' Zaraki demanded.

'What more can I say? You created your mind. This world of destruction and despair is your work. Know thyself, Kenny. This is you,' she said sniggering.

'Why is it like this?' He frowned at her levity.

'I've hinted enough. The soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts. You refuse to think. Your only thoughts are of death, fighting and destruction. Your mind adapted to your thoughts and created this pleasant little world. Everything is broken because without thought nothing can remain whole. It's easy not to think because then you don't have to care or question your actions. Truth and oil always come to the surface. This is the truth about your mind. You created it; you neglected it, now you are living in it. I love the irony of the situation. Causing me torment for so many years and now your own mind can torment you until you die. The Winds of Change have increased again, Kenny. Trust or die.'

'Last time you were less relaxed about the situation. Why are you so calm now?' Zaraki asked ignoring all the other questions clamouring to be answered.

'Why worry about that which I cannot change? If I die now, no more pain. Death is the next great adventure. I had hoped to be released; to meet Zangetsu again, and to learn to fight as a partner, not a tool. If that is not to be, then why mourn? I still hate you, Kenny, but you are my shinigami and I cannot survive without you. I can tolerate you, barely and I am prepared to try to work with you. If you cannot trust then you will not live and we will both die. I wonder who will mourn your passing,' Atonomatsuri's composure was a distinct contrast to her earlier fears.

The wind blew, two bells dropped from Zaraki's hair. The small peals they made as they fell were noted by Atonomatsuri but unheard by Zaraki who was trying to deal with all the information.

'She's not scared. Is she lying? Do I want to die here? I don't have much time, the wind is getting colder. Is there any other thing I can do aside from trust her that will make the wind stop? Yachiru would be sad if I died. Would she become Captain? Would anyone else care? Why am I even thinking about that emotional crap? I don't care if I die. I don't care if anyone dies. The only thing I care about is if I'm dead I can't fight anymore. I don't want to die here. I'd always imagined I would die fighting a worthy opponent. Not in the hell of my own mind,' these thoughts did not provide any reassurance.

'Forget about the wind for the moment. I need to ask 2 more things before I can make any decisions. Not that they are important, but nothing she said explains them,' he considered not asking, but she seemed to be in a more cooperative mood than normal.

'Answer this for me. Why is this book whole?' Zaraki indicated the book he was still holding.

'Which book is that? _The Art of War_? Yes, it would be that. The funny thing, Zaraki is that this place was much worse before you considered trying to summon me. You think it's bad now, you should have seen it before you started thinking. The beginnings of all things are small,' a smug satisfaction oozed from her words.

'Not an answer. Explain,' Zaraki ordered irritation evident in his voice.

'No need to take that tone, Kenny. He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger. When you began to think your mind began to repair some of the damage. When you changed, a little, one or two important ideas were repaired. It may look like a book, but it is really represents your thoughts, memories and ideals that were created as a result of that book. Before you ask, I don't know what each thing represents, but you should. Not much time left, Kenny. I suppose we should say our farewells. It's been horrid to know you,' Atonomatsuri sat and composed herself.

'One more question. Why did the book follow me? It was over there,' Zaraki gestured vaguely behind him. 'It should have been left behind. Why is it here?'

Atonomatsuri quivered all over. '

'Is she going to have a fit?' Zaraki wondered.

Peals of laughter emerged from the beak of the vulture. Zaraki's hand immediately went to his zanpaku-to. He was tired of her mockery. Maybe he should kill her now. If he died too at least it would be a quick death.

'Wait, Kenny,' Atonomatsuri gurgled, trying to recover. She took a deep breath and her laughter subsided. 'Don't forget, you can't kill me with you zanpaku-to,' she sighed. 'Okay, why did the book follow you? I know you won't like the answer, but in the spirit of trust I will tell you. A small-minded man looks at the sky through a reed. This place looks large because the power of the mind can be infinite. But it is really very small,' she started to laugh again. 'I told you before you have a small mind.'

Zaraki scowled. His hands instinctively reached for her neck. Still laughing she knocked them aside with her beak cutting the palm of one with the sharp edge. Zaraki ignored the cut and realized that her last answer didn't explain everything.

'Then why did I end up chasing you all over the place? Why did it take so long to catch up to you? If my mind is so small I should have been able to get here much quicker,' Zaraki said.

'Never underestimate the power of the mind. It looped back on itself. Your mind doesn't really trust you either, Zaraki. It tricked you so that I was always appeared a certain distance from you until I could fly no further and you were exhausted. It wanted to give me time to talk to you. If you were too tired to fight you might listen. It knows that I'm its potential saviour. If I can encourage you to think, your mind will be repaired and it can expand from this small space. It has been trapped like me.'

Zaraki shook his head rejecting her words. The force of the shake released another bell which flew next to Atonomatsuri. She noted the fall with satisfaction. The Winds of Change were icy and strong.

'How can my mind not trust me? That doesn't make sense. You're talking about it like it's not part of me. More riddles, more unanswered questions. My mind trusts you and not me? So does that mean I trust you?' Zaraki looked at the sky seeking a solution to the confusion that beset him.

'Yes and no. You have to trust me consciously in order to release me. A fool can no more see his own folly than he can see his ears. Your mind is part of you and you are your mind. But your subconscious is hidden from you as it is from all people. Your subconscious mind does not trust you because you've paid no attention to it for years. It had no outlet for all the normal doubts and frustrations which normal people experience and learn to tolerate. You don't trust your mind either, otherwise you would use it. To deny all, is to confess all,' Atonomatsuri shivered.

'Why can't anything be simple? Do you try to make everything more complicated? When you open your beak do you think 'How can I make this impossible to understand?' Truth, trust, minds, thoughts, subconscious. Hell. Next you'll talk about love and God. How can I trust you? How can I trust anyone? Trust leads to a blade in your back,' Zaraki said with disgust.

'Trust and love are doubled edged swords, Zaraki,' Atonomatsuri said impatiently. 'You don't have to love me to trust me.'

'I was right. Now you're talking about love,' Zaraki howled.

'You can't deny love. What about the teddy bear?' Atonomatsuri said obscurely.

'I don't want to talk about bears. I want to talk about getting out of here before the bloody wind freezes me. We were talking about trust before you went off on the tangent about the subconscious mind. This conversation is boring me. What about I say I trust you. Will that work?' Zaraki compromised.

'A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaketh lies shall not escape,' was Atonomatsuri's response.

'I actually have to trust you? Hell. How do you learn trust?'

'It's an instinct, not a learned behaviour, Kenny. Maybe we can go about it a different way,' she paused. Do you trust your zanpaku-to?'

'Yeah, sort of.'

'I am your zanpaku-to.'

'So you say. I think you're a freak,' Zaraki said ungratefully.

'Logic, Kenny, not insults. The wind is increasing, it you hadn't noticed. We don't have much time. Speed is of the essence,' Atonomatsuri reminded him.

'My head hurts and you want me to think logically. Okay, if I trust my zanpaku-to even a little and you are my zanpaku-to, then by extension I must trust you?' Zaraki thought aloud.

The winds ceased abruptly. The silence that replaced it seemed hollow and unsatisfying to Zaraki. He glared at the vulture that was looking at him with a sneer on her beak.

'So I trusted you all the time. Why didn't you explain it like that earlier? What was all that crap about minds and the rest of that stuff? What was with the winds?' Zaraki yelled.

'It was fun. I was bored. It wanted to be entertained. I loved watching you flail about trying to think of a solution. What costs little is little valued. The Winds of Change happened because you wouldn't acknowledge your trust. If I just told you, would you have believed me? '

'I don't know. Don't care. At least the wind has stopped. Why didn't the winds stop earlier? It's stupid because all the time I trusted you because, oh damn. You're a twisted creature,' Zaraki stated.

'I'm twisted? Okay, maybe I did it partly to pay you back for…'

'For all the torture, etc. Heard it before, bird,' Zaraki cut in. 'I see now why you didn't appear worried when the Winds of Change got really cold.' He looked at her curiously. 'Now what?'

'Now you learn to release me,' Atonomatsuri said with a tinge of fear and reluctance in her voice.

'Does that mean I can fight you?' Zaraki said, a feral smile spreading over his features.

'No. You learn to release me. It's all very well to fight, but release is different. It depends on a number of things. You must either modify your dreams or magnify your skills. You need to keep your eye patch on for this, Zaraki. No, on second thoughts, take it off,' there was an air of suppressed mirth in Atonomatsuri's suggestion.

Zaraki's hands went to his eye patch. A faint memory of something he had overheard in Seireitei made him stop. 'Nah, I'm going to keep it on. Might be more interesting. So what do I do?'

Atonomatsuri looked disappointed for a moment. 'Okay, it that's what you really want, Kenny. A man should live if only to satisfy his curiosity,' she hesitated before continuing. 'You need to draw your zanpaku-to.'

Zaraki withdrew his zanpaku-to from its' sheathe and held it with one hand.

'It might be better if you held it with both hands, Kenny,' Atonomatsuri suggested. 'Hold it so the blade is upright.'

Zaraki followed her instructions again, turning the scarred blade toward Atonomatsuri.

She gulped, whether from nerves or impending laughter, Zaraki was not sure.

'Now stand on one foot,' she commanded.

Zaraki began to raise his foot and stopped. 'You're pushing it, freak. I don't need to raise my foot.'

'I was just trying to establish an element of trust,' Atonomatsuri sniggered. 'A house is built a brick at a time.'

'I don't know why you are delaying. You're the one who wants this, or so you said. What's the problem?' Zaraki demanded.

'No problem, just anticipation. Now shout my name,' the fear and reluctance returned to her voice.

'That's it? I just have to say your name? Why all the mystery?'

'I was trying to convey a sense of occasion to this. Go on, do it. Shout my name,' Atonomatsuri urged.

'Atonomatsuri,' Zaraki shouted.

Nothing happened. Zaraki looked at his zanpaku-to. Atonomatsuri looked at Zaraki.

'Atonomatsuri,' Zaraki shouted again.

The same result. Nothing happened. Zaraki looked at Atonomatsuri. She was looking worried.

'Why isn't it working?' she wondered aloud.

'So which is broken: you or the zanpaku-to?' Zaraki said sarcastically.

'A poor workman always blames his tools,' Atonomatsuri answered absent mindedly. 'What were you thinking about when you said my name?'

Zaraki looked at her, his eyebrows raised sardonically.

'Kenny, don't say you weren't thinking? Hasn't anything I told you penetrated your wreck of a mind? You have to think to release me,' she rubbed her wings over her eyes. 'Talk does not cook rice,' she muttered to herself.

'Let's try again. Now say my name while thinking about releasing me,' she yawned.

What, now you yawn, Atonomatsuri,' Zaraki began to say but was forced to stop by the force of the winds that surrounded him.

He was in the eye of the storm as the gale blew from his transforming zanpaku-to, scattering the debris on the ground even further. Atonomatsuri shielded her body with her wings too late to escape the full force of the blast. She staggered back trying to seek shelter. The bells which had already fallen from Zaraki's hair pealed in the wind. Zaraki fought to keep the zanpaku-to within his grasp as it seemed to be twisting and changing, fighting him. The wind blew past him with redoubled force removing the last two bells from his hair and causing his hair to stream down his back. He continued to struggle to maintain his hold when the wind abruptly ceased.

His hands felt heavy and he could not keep his zanpaku-to upright. The point fell downwards to lodge in the ground below. Zaraki looked aghast at the released zanpaku-to. To say it was ugly was not enough. It was a hideously grotesque blade which distinctly reflected Zaraki's inability to control his reiatsu. The blade was longer than his body.

He looked closer. 'What sort of freaking' zanpaku-to is this?' he thought. The edge was incredibly jagged displaying no symmetry of any sort. There were holes in the middle of the blade, again showing no symmetry. The guard was, hell, there was no disguising it was pink, inlaid with ivory skulls. Feathers and clocks decorated the handle. Zaraki shook his head.

'This is wrong. Kenpachi Zaraki can't be seen with a zanpaku-to like this! Why in death's name is the guard pink? Why is the blade so jagged? Why is it so heavy and big? Why is it so damned ugly? What the hell have I gotten myself into?'

'It would have been worse if you'd taken off the eye patch Kenny,' Atonomatsuri said as she emerged from her temporary shelter, sniggering. 'You've been told the reiatsu affects the size of the blade. You can't control your reiatsu; hence the blade is too large. I like the pink. Beauty is only skin-deep, Kenny.'

'But ugliness goes all the way to the bone,' Zaraki said carelessly thinking about the shame of his zanpaku-to's guard being pink. 'Blood! Now I'm doing it again. More adages. Okay, I've released you. Now how do I make it change back? Can I get out of here, now? Is this whole thing finished?'

'It's not that simple, Kenny,' Atonomatsuri answered.

'How the heck did I know you were going to say that?' Zaraki said sarcastically. 'Maybe I've become psychic. Okay, I'm obviously not going anywhere. Spill.'

Atonomatsuri looked at him. 'In prosperity caution --- in adversity patience. You will need patience for this, Kenny, something you do not normally employ.'

'I think there's an escape and then everything gets complicated again. Are you sure you're not just doing this to annoy the crap out of me?' Zaraki asked, his patience already strained. 'How long will the lecture be this time? Should I take notes? Will there be a quiz at the end? Or will the friggin' Winds of Change start again? I'm tired of this.'

Atonomatsuri looked at him mournfully. 'I haven't told you the whole truth,' she said reluctantly.

Zaraki sighed. Why wasn't he surprised?

* * *

I know there are complex ideas in this chapter. Blame Jung, Freud and other psychologists.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, so far. I appreciate your comments and suggestions.

I've stopped replying to reviews. I'm not sure if people want a response, so maybe it's better if I just say thanks here (see above).

Here are a few answers to questions reviewers have asked:

Why can't Zaraki use the 'too late' power against the bird? The 'too late' power is only partially released and Zaraki does not know how to control it, so he can't use it against Atonomatsuri. (She also has the power so the effect is sort of cancelled out).

Where is Zarakis' body? He did go into a room and lock the door. As to where it is now, I know, but I'm not telling. Hehehehehehehe.

Why is everything in Zaraki's mind broken? I've tried to hint at it in the last few chapters. There is a full explanation in this chapter, with a possible explanation of the teddy bear. Hope it helps.

Why is Atonomatsuri a vulture? When I was creating Atonomatsuri, I immediately thought of a vulture (possibly due to some very bad jokes around 'too late'). No other ideas worked.

I was waiting for a question about the adages. When Atonomatsuri uses an adage, I usually have an idea of the sort of thing I want her to say. Search engines help (Yay, search engines), as do the products of a diseased brain (mine). Sometimes it can take a bit of time to find the right words and if I can't find the right adage, I make one up. (Guilty secret.) I also mangle the occasional adage, just for fun.

This release Zaraki has finally learnt is not Bankai. This is the first release. He'll really need to trust Atonomatsuri for Bankai and he doesn't.

Reviews welcome.

With any luck I might even manage to get Zaraki completely out of his mind (pun intended) in the next chapter. Well that's the plan. It depends on whether Zaraki and Atonomatsuri cooperate.


	11. Surrender

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters, except for Atonomatsuri, who I created._

Atonomatsuri again tests Zaraki's patience.

Warning: Zaraki reverts to form and gets a little, well, violent.

**Surrender **

'I said I didn't tell you the whole truth,' Atonomatsuri repeated.

'I heard. What do you want me to say? I'm surprised? I thought you wanted me to trust you,' Zaraki grated.

'I wasn't sure. I'd hoped that it would not come to this. The fault is mine; but I will not bear this fault alone, Kenny. Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty. I only sought freedom,' Atonomatsuri shrilled. 'Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains.'

'Is there a point to this? I thought once you were released I could get out of here. It happened, you're released yet I'm still here in this hole with a zanpaku-to that looks like a bad piece of modern art, a decomposing vulture and the hell of my mind,' Zaraki said impatience in his voice.

'I said you'd need patience for this. Patience is power; with time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes silk,' Atonomatsuri scolded.

'Patience! Patience is for weaklings. It's not power. Stop giving me this crap. Tell me the truth now,' Zaraki demanded.

'It's not that simple Kenny. This time there is more at stake. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. I'm trying to find words that might be easy for you to understand. It isn't easy. I'm surprised you've managed to understand me so far,' Atonomatsuri sneered.

Zaraki sat down leaning the zanpaku-to against his knee. He ran his hands over his head.

'Hell, what happened to my hair? Where are my bells? Is this your doing?' Zaraki questioned turning to Atonomatsuri.

Atonomatsuri moved from one foot to another and looked embarrassed. She avoided looking at Zaraki and seemed to be looking at the teddy bear which was now magically in one piece. While Zaraki looked at her ready to again demand an explanation she shot a furtive look at him and then returned to looking at the bear.

'Cute teddy bear, Zaraki. It looks like you, except it's totally unlike you. Cute, small, cuddly and doesn't cause any trouble. Doesn't hurt people, or try to kill them,' Atonomatsuri said. 'I like teddy bears. They're uncomplicated.'

'I SAID I'M NOT INTERESTED IN BLOODY BEARS,' Zaraki yelled as he got to his feet. The noise was deafening in the quiet surroundings. Atonomatsuri looked at him shocked. 'Can't you understand simple instructions, carcass? I want to know why I'm still here, where are my bells, what happened to my hair and why the freakin' hell my zanpaku-to looks like this. Oh, it might be nice to finally hear the truth, I mean if it's not too much trouble. Wouldn't want to cause you any problems, friggin' annoying cadaver,' his voice dripped sarcasm.

Atonomatsuri looked even more uncomfortable. Her switching from foot to foot intensified until it almost looked like she was dancing. She continued to avoid his gaze and her eyes rolled in their sockets. Her tail twitched unevenly and her head nodded up and down. Zaraki watched not having any idea what was going on.

'Is she doing her version of the lucky dance, now? Will she turn purple next,' he wondered vaguely. His anger had not diminished. He grabbed at the vulture who evaded him, the twitching increasing.

The movement of her feet took her further away from him as her head nodded faster.

Zaraki shouted his rage aloud,' Stop that stupid damn dancing, moronic weird vulture. Give me some answers.'

Atonomatsuri squawked loudly and flapped her wings as her feet continued to move rapidly, 'I'm not dancing. This is how I act when I'm nervous. You're making me nervous, Kenny.'

Zaraki gaped at her. 'I don't understand what the hell is going on with her. First the insults, the tirades, the adages, the unrestrained bitterness, the constant calling me Kenny. Now she's nervous? This is one seriously disturbed creature. And she questions my sanity?' Zaraki thought.

'How come I'm making you nervous now? You showed no signs of fear before. Why now?' he demanded angrily.

'Because I hate telling you the truth. I especially hate telling you the truth when I have no choice and this time it can't be a half truth. A truth-teller finds the doors closed against him. Can you even handle the truth, Kenny, I wonder? I wonder and despair at the truth and you,' Atonomatsuri moaned her feet slowing slightly. 'A fool may find the truth and yet understand it not, Kenny. You are that fool.'

'Back to the insults and adages I see,' growled Zaraki. 'Just say what you need to say. I'm hungry.'

'That's part of the problem. I've kept you in your mind too long', Atonomatsuri squealed.

'So, you've kept me in my mind too long. Let me out and it won't be a problem,' Zaraki shouted reasonably.

'But it is a problem,' Atonomatsuri insisted.

Zaraki laconically moved closer to the dancing bird. Swiftly he reached out and grabbed her by her throat.

'Stop it. Tell me what you need to say and we move on from there,' he hissed into her face. 'Answer my questions, tell me the problem and then we can get the hell out of here.' As he spoke he increased the pressure on the cringing creatures' neck. Her eyes started to bulge slightly as she struggled against his grip.

'Interesting,' Zaraki mused. 'The 'too late' power seems not to have worked on this occasion,' he shook the bird, which, by now had ceased all movement except beating at Zaraki with her wings.

'Put me down,' she gasped. I can't explain if I'm dead, moron.'

Zaraki slowly released his grip on her neck and then let go. Atonomatsuri sprawled at his feet, breathing heavily. Zaraki gently, but firmly placed a foot on a wing.

'I want answers, now. I've no more patience. I may not be able to kill you, but I can hurt you enough to make you appreciate your previous torment. I'm feeling generous. Answer my questions and I won't cut off your wings,' Zaraki compromised.

Atonomatsuri struggled, trying to rise, but was prevented by the placement of Zaraki's foot. She moaned and lifted her head as far from the ground as she could and hissed at Zaraki. The she tried to manoeuvre her beak into a position to strike at him, but it was impossible to get the leverage required. Her tongue with the poison barb emerged from her mouth, but again it was not possible for her to strike at him in any way.

'You always try to solve the problem with more violence, Kenny. I thought you had learned something in here. You can lead a Kenny to understanding, but you can't make him think. Okay, which of the myriad of moronically misunderstood mysteries in your mind do you wish to comprehend first? If you used your brain some of this would all be clear,' she grumbled.

Zaraki pondered this. Which question? He wanted them all answered. The problem was it usually took so long to get one question answered. Which one? It was obvious!

'What is the truth that you haven't told me? Answer that one. The others can wait,' Zaraki demanded.

'Not yet. I can't tell you yet. I'm not ready. I'll tell you about something else. Your hair couldn't withstand the Winds of Change and had to also change. I think you look better like that, Kenny. If you wore it right over your face, it would be even better. You could hide that scar. Maybe you could have it styled and coloured,' Atonomatsuri prattled.

'What the heck are you talking about? The one question I didn't sodding care about and you answer that first,' Zaraki brought the blade of his zanpaku-to close to

Atonomatsuri's wing. 'Okay, answer this one or I cut off your wing. How do I get this monstrosity back to normal?' He nudged her wing with the zanpaku-to.

'Use will,' she answered shortly.

'Who the hell is Will and what's he doing here?' Zaraki asked impatiently. Anger was impeding his ability to understand.

'Not only do I have to simplify everything for you, but now I have to explain my simple explanations. To kick with a sore toe only hurts the foot. Use your will to change it back,' she explained trying to remove her wing from under his foot.

'What Will?'

'Your will.'

'I don't have a Will,' Zaraki said confused.

Atonomatsuri sighed and laughed. 'We sound like a pair of bad comedians. Man is the only creature that refuses to be what he is,' she said softly. 'Will power, Kenny. Use your will power and will the zanpaku-to back to normal.'

Zaraki keeping his foot on Atonomatsuri's wing concentrated and after some effort the zanpaku-to returned to its normal form.

'You can sheathe it now, if you want, Kenny,' Atonomatsuri suggested slyly.

'Not going to happen, maybe later, maybe too late,' Zaraki said and laughed without humour.

'Spare me the bad jokes, Kenny. Now will you remove your large and incredibly unattractive foot from my wing?'

'No,' he replied shortly.

Silence as each thought about what to do next.

Neither noticed that the sky had brightened further or that one planet now appeared whole. For that they would have needed to look to the stars instead of contemplating the ground.

'So what questions are you prepared to answer? Oh, bugger this. I'm cutting your wing off. Maybe then you will answer the questions.' Zaraki raised his zanpaku-to in preparation of suiting his action to his words.

'Stop,' screamed Atonomatsuri. 'I'll tell you. God, Kenny. I know you are given to mindless acts of violence, but this is stupid. One moment of patience may ward off great disaster; one moment of impatience may ruin a whole life. Whose life are you ruining this time, because if you ruin mine, you ruin your own.'

'So which tiny bit of information are you prepared to impart this time? I suppose you'll tell me where the bells are. I don't care. I want some real answers this time.' He moved his blade closer to her wing. 'I think I will use the edge of the zanpaku-to to saw it off. Should cause more pain that way, for you.'

'Your zanpaku-to is like that because of who you are, Zaraki. It is as malformed as you. The jagged edges are representative of your violence and hold on sanity. The holes indicate that you are not a complete person. It also exemplifies our lack of trust in each other. Once you learn to control your reiatsu a little the size will diminish, maybe. Let your desires be ruled by reason. Each manifestation of a zanpaku-to represents the owner,' Atonomatsuri explained, panting and wincing from the pain as Zaraki moved his foot closer to where the wing joined her body.

'Even in this position you still friggin' insult me, do you? So the shape is determined by my personality? I think that's a load of manure. I can't believe it looks like that. Hell knows what the blade will look like when I bankai,' Zaraki yelled.

'Don't even think of bankai, Kenny. For that there must be complete trust and understanding between zanpaku-to and shinigami. Something I doubt we will ever have. Into each life, a little rain must fall. I've answered your question. Now remove your foot,' she urged.

'No. Final answer, Atonomatsuri. What is this truth you don't wish to tell me? I want to know,' Zaraki hissed, his voice menacing.

'Which truth I don't want to tell you?' she said struggling again and then collapsing shuddering.

'There's more than one? Interesting. And you wonder why I find it hard to trust you! I wonder if I should trust anything you have said until now? Ah, bugger it,' Zaraki dragged the blade of his zanpaku-to firmly over the muscles that connected the wing to her body.

Atonomatsuri squawked and wriggled, but the weight of his foot made her cautious of tearing her wing. Tears leaked from her eyes.

'Oh, poor birdy is not in control. Well too bad for you. Now tell me why I'm not out of here yet?' Zaraki demanded.

'Because I have to tell you, I have to tell you. I don't want to tell you. Not like this. Not as the result of torture and pain and more hatred. Answer this, Zaraki. Are you still hungry?'

Zaraki thought about it a moment. 'Yeah.'

'How hungry? Snacking hungry? Banquet hungry?' Atonomatsuri's question was urgent.

'Probably snacking hungry. Yeah, I'd like some rice balls,' Zaraki said.

'Then we still have a little more time. Even though you are in your mind and you are starting to think, you're mind is slowly consuming you. It's been hungry for thought and new ideas for so long that now you've awakened it, it will ingest whatever is around. You are feeling that hunger. You better keep thinking, Zaraki, if only to distract it. Every time you stop thinking your hunger will increase, as will the hunger in your mind. People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy after,' said Atonomatsuri.

'Dodging the issue again and I don't believe your words. Come on, tell me the thing that made you nervous earlier,' Zaraki said, increasing the weight he placed on the wing.

'That hurt's, Kenny. Stop it! Okay. It's because of something you know but didn't even think of until now. Think about your zanpaku-to. It was never sealed, was it?' Atonomatsuri said reluctantly.

'Yeah, so what? Oh, I see. You were constantly crapping on about me releasing you but does that mean you were released?' Zaraki asked interested.

'No, because you had to consciously release me. It is the beautiful bird which gets caged. Because I was not sealed you had to do a second release,' Atonomatsuri's voice became softer as she explained.

'Huh, second release? I've heard of those, but usually there's a trigger word and the zanpaku-to doesn't change shape, just uses a different power,' Zaraki said contemplatively.

'It's because you're so screwed up, Kenny. I was never sealed, but I was never released, so this became screwed up also. I'd hoped it wasn't the case, but I wasn't sure. You can't make a cake without breaking eggs,' Atonomatsuri said the insults overlain by pain.

Zaraki shifted his foot, a little, taking some of the weight off Atonomatsuri, but not enough for her to do anything but feel some relief from the pain.

'Forget the insults, loser. Enough of the suspense. Just tell me the bloody release word or phrase or whatever the decomposing thing is,' Zaraki said with a touch of anticipation.

'Learning teaches how to carry things in suspense without prejudice till you resolve, Kenny,' Atonomatsuri responded tartly.

'I don't have any sodding idea what that means,' Zaraki complained as he increased the pressure on the wing.

'Yawn. The release word is yawn,' Atonomatsuri screamed from the pain.

Zaraki abruptly removed his foot. Atonomatsuri lay there, unable to take advantage of her hard won freedom.

Zaraki started to pace up and down, tapping the zanpaku-to against his thigh as he walked. His anger had not been dispelled by the last revelation but his hunger had not increased.

'Yawn,' he exclaimed. 'Yawn! What shinigami, no, what captain would want to use a lame release word like that? Howl is good, shatter I'd like, dance is pretty wimpy, but yawn is the crappiest of them all.' He stopped walking and threw down his zanpaku-to which landed in front of the prone form of Atonomatsuri.

'That's it! No more. I don't want it, I don't want you. You're both tainted, corrupted by something I don't understand. I preferred it when it was a simple tool. Now it is less than it was,' Zaraki sat down and rubbed his face. 'Damn this, damn it, damn it, damn it,' he yelled as he punched the ground. 'No one told me. I hate this!'

Atonomatsuri silently raised her head and looked at Zaraki.

'Don't despair, Kenny. It's always darkest before the dawn,' she began.

'Shut up. God, you can talk, and most of it is garbage. Just leave me alone', Zaraki thundered.

Atonomatsuri just watched him as he shook his head.

'This is not real. None of this is real. It's just a bad dream,' Zaraki told himself.

He looked at the sky and around the wasteland of his mind. He refused to live like this. He reached out to pick up his zanpaku-to only to find that Atonomatsuri had it under her claw again.

'Wisdom comes only when you stop looking for it, and start living the life the Creator intended for you,' Atonomatsuri said sadly. 'Don't kill yourself, Zaraki. If you kill yourself, you will never fight again. Think of all the battles you will miss. You'll never fight Ichigo again. Aizen will go unpunished by you. Gin Ichimaru will smile at your defeat. Only when the serpent dies do you know its true length.'

Zaraki sat motionless and looked at her.

'Why would I want to kill myself?' he asked. 'What bug got into your brain to even make you think that?'

'You were going to try to kill me, again. I anticipated that. To kill me is to kill you. I've told you that before. Live with wolves, and you learn to howl. Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas,' Atonomatsuri sighed.

'And those that talk crap, expect to feel pain,' Zaraki said bitterly. 'I don't know where you get your ideas from, but they're wrong. Can I go now? Are there any more revelations that you have to make? Or are we finally done?'

'Done? We will never be done, Kenny. Life is an onion which one peels crying. You are like an onion, Kenny. I peel off your layers only to see you getting smaller and smaller,' Atonomatsuri said sulkily.

'First I'm a bear and now I'm an onion. Damn, I'm versatile. What next? A rock? A cherry blossom, perhaps? Get on with it. I want out?' Zaraki asked impatiently.

'You will always be an idiot, Kenny. You see the answer and the questions but you ignore them. You have missed one of the larger questions and one of the most important answers. A needle is sharp only at one end, Kenny, but you are only blunt,' Atonomatsuri said a smug satisfaction returning to her voice as she contemplated the increasingly irate captain.

'More? You're telling me there's more,' the incredulous disbelief in his words stunned Zaraki. 'I asked about the zanpaku-to, the whole truth, my hair, why I'm still here…'

'The bells, Kenny. Do not send to ask for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee, Kenny. It tolls for thee,' Atonomatsuri said seriously.

'Bells? The bells in my hair? I thought they were beside the point. You said you hated them from the beginning. I just thought they got dislodged,' Zaraki said confused and angry.

'An ant hole may collapse an embankment. Your bells like you eye patch are important. You persuade yourself that you use the bells so your opponent can hear you when you are fighting, but it is more than that. Eleven bells. I always believed there should be twelve, but you only use eleven. It could be that you use eleven because you have removed the traitor. I find that interesting,' Atonomatsuri mused.

'Eleven, twelve, what's it matter? I just thought eleven was the right number. It looks better to have a central bell at the top. Provides more symmetry. Arhh, forget I said that,' Zaraki scowled.

'Eleven is the number of enlightenment; a Master number. So strange that you should choose it. Maybe the excesses of the number appeal. We'll talk more about the significance of the number eleven later,' Atonomatsuri said.

'Not if I can bloody stop you, we won't,' Zaraki responded quickly.

'So why are the bells important? Bells celebrate victory, warn of death. God comes to see without ringing the bell. It made me wonder if, in your arrogance, you thought you were better than God because you ring the bells. You needed to be stripped of your bells to show your humility. You are not even close to God, Kenny,' Atonomatsuri said smoothly.

'What the flaming hell are you talking about? I've never heard that stupid adage before! God? I don't even believe in God. What proof is there that it exists? I wear the bells for the reason I've always given. There is no deeper motive. If I look like this and people still take me seriously, then I have proven myself to them,' Zaraki stated angrily.

'Gin Ichimaru did not take you seriously. He who smiles is always the stronger,' Atonomatsuri said.

'I don't want to talk about that traitor. He didn't take anyone seriously, except Aizen. Why do you keep mentioning them?' Zaraki asked, scowling heavily at Atonomatsuri.

'To remind you why you wanted to summon me, to release me in the first place. You wanted to be stronger. You thought if you summoned me, you would become stronger and you wanted that so you could beat Aizen and the others. A fool believes his own reasons, Kenny.'

'Enough of this. Have you stalled long enough? What are you hoping will happen? That I will declare undying friendship if you keep me here long enough? That I lose all reason and begin to like you? Well, it ain't about to happen. What are you waiting for, cretin? And don't start talking about numbers again,' Zaraki threatened.

'I am waiting for some sign, some little indication that you will release me when we return,' Atonomatsuri said in a small voice.

Zaraki looked at her stunned.

"Are you a fool? Do you think keeping me here longer will help? If I promise I will release you, will that do,' Zaraki said disbelievingly.

'No. Promises like pie crusts are made to be broken. We've been over this before. I thought we were building trust and then you try to strangle me and hurt my wing. The trust is shattered, just like most of the object here. Is there anything you won't destroy, Kenny? Anything you hold sacred? In the desert of life the wise person travels by caravan, while the fool prefers to travel alone. You will not trust me and thus you travel alone,' Atonomatsuri said sadly.

'I thought we went over this before. Do we have to keep saying the same things?' Zaraki sighed in frustration and gazed at the sky.

He remembered all the hopes he had when he first tried to discover her name. All the plans he had for quickly achieving bankai and proving himself worthy of the name Kenpachi Zaraki. Dreams were the ultimate foolishness. He knew what he needed to say, but felt uncomfortable at any thought of weakness. That was why he had attacked her again. The grudging admission of trust still galled him.

He sighed again and cleared his throat noisily, unwilling to say the words he needed to say. Looking around he saw that more items had been fixed; all the planets in the sky were not destroyed. For some reason, this made what he needed to say easier.

'I admit it. I want to be stronger and I know that I can only be stronger if I work with you. I would be that fool you think I am if I don't see that I need you. I may hate you, I may despise you. In fact I can't stand the sight or sound of you. But I need you. You need me too, Atonomatsuri. Remember that. I have to release you when I return because I need to share your power. If ever I want to achieve bankai, I need you to help me,' Zaraki said, slowly.

Atonomatsuri turned her disconcerting gaze upon him. It almost looked like she was smiling. She nodded slowly.

'Good, Zaraki. It's about time you realized that. Trust is good, but need is better. You must either modify your dreams or magnify your skills. I think it is time you magnified your skills, with me,' Atonomatsuri sighed. 'One more thing, Kenny.'

'What is it this time? Not another boring revelation about a half truth that you are going to reveal?'

'No, this is important. I know one thing about you. You do not trust easily and you may come to distrust your memories of this time. I want to make certain that you do remember. Anyway, don't you want to pick up your zanpaku-to? Come closer and listen,' Atonomatsuri said.

Zaraki moved closer and bent to pick up his zanpaku-to. He felt a sharp pain in his thigh. He looked at Atonomatsuri. She waggled her tongue at him displaying the bard.

'Just something to remember me by, Kenny,' she sniggered. 'I can't wait to see you out of your mind. My poison will be in your system when they find you, if they find you quickly enough. Think of it as payback for stepping on me. Tomorrow or next life which comes first, we will never know. Don't worry. I'm releasing you now….'

Atonomatsuri's voice faded into the distance as the poison took effect.

'Must kill her,' were Zaraki's thoughts as he fell into oblivion.

Answers:

Zaraki is not dead. (Damn, I spoiled the cliffhanger!)

Atonomatsuri is not as clever as she thinks. She does get things wrong sometimes.

Viashino Wizard spotted something that I was trying to play down. Very clever of you to spot that Zaraki's zanpaku-to was never sealed and did not need to be released. Kudos to you.

Wong-Shi-Tong Noticed the bells were dropping. Yes, there was a reason, not a very good reason. It was mainly for Atonomatsuri's benefit. She really hates the bells.

Kurosaki Naruto wanted to know: Why is the zanpaku-to so ugly? Hope you like the explanation in the chapter.

The 'too late' power? That is something I want to explore later.

Next chapter will take place in Seireitei. I promise.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. I appreciate your comments.


	12. To Reality

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. Atonomatsuri is the creation of my fevered imagination._

Zaraki is out of his mind.

**To Reality**

"Ken-chan. Ken-chan. Are you awake yet Ken-chan? Come on. Wake up. I'm bored. You've been asleep for ages. It's time to wake up."

He felt an insistent prodding of his leg. It hurt.

"Don't do that Yachiru. Captain Zaraki is not well. He needs time to recover. He will wake up soon I'm sure", said a familiar voice.

Zaraki opened his eyes slowly, not sure what to expect.

He saw Retsu and Yachiru standing beside the bed he was lying in.

"Ken-chan. You're awake at last! I've waited and waited and waited. I tried to wake you, but she stopped me," Yachiru pointed at Retsu in an accusing manner. "Anyway, you're awake. Yay! I was worried about you Ken-chan. What happened? You were breathing funny when we found you. What were you doing there? Who were you fighting? We couldn't find anyone. The door was locked. You looked like you had fought pretty hard. She says you were really badly injured. Where are your bells? Why were your clothes so ripped?" Yachiru continued to bombard Zaraki with words.

Zaraki did not bother trying to answer. Yachiru would become quiet, eventually, probably forgetting half the questions she asked.

He looked at Retsu who spoke quietly under Yachiru's chatter.

"We found some poison we can't identify in your blood. I've sent it to Captain Kurotsuchi, who is very interested. He wants to talk to you about it later, as he is having trouble synthesising it. It should have killed you. I can't work out why it didn't. So again, you're not dead. You'll be weak for a few hours. The toxin lingers in the blood far longer than most other poisons," Retsu looked at Zaraki and then at the bandages that covered most of his body.

As if struck by an idea she looked at him with raised eyebrows questioningly and then glanced at his zanpaku-to which was near the bed.

Zaraki guessed what her question was. She was asking if he had talked to his zanpaku-to. He nodded.

Retsu's eyes widened in surprise as she looked at his bandaged form again. Then she opened her mouth to say something. Zaraki shook his head vehemently. Retsu caught the motion and nodded. She would wait until Yachiru had left.

"Are you two miming or something? I don't think you're very good at it. Maybe you should have lessons. Why aren't you answering my questions Ken-chan? I was worried about you," Yachiru's voice quivered.

Zaraki looked at Yachiru. She did look worried.

He tried to talk, but his throat was dry. Retsu handed him a container of liquid and assisted him into a position where he could drink it. She was right, he did feel very weak.

"I'm sorry to have worried you, Yachiru," he croaked closing his eyes.

Yachiru and Retsu exchanged shocked looks. Zaraki was apologising! Maybe the poison had affected his brain.

"Are you all right Ken-chan?" Yachiru's voice contained even more uncertainty. "Please talk to me."

Without opening his eyes Zaraki asked, "How long was I missing? It must have been days."

He again did not see the look that passed between Retsu and Yachiru. They were both puzzled.

"You weren't missing long at all. I was bored with Yumichika. He wouldn't let me do anything fun and then he locked me out of the office, so I followed you and Baldy followed me. A Hell butterfly came to me asking that you visit the old man. Baldy helped me break into the building you went into and you were all messed up and asleep. You were only there a few minutes. What happened?" Yachiru asked again.

Zaraki opened his eyes, astonished at the information.

"I must've been missing for hours, maybe days. You're joking aren't you? Tell me you're joking," Zaraki replied.

"Yachiru's correct. You were found very soon after you entered the building. After you were brought here, all of 11th Company searched the building to look for your assailant or assailants. Some of them became a little too intent on the search and began to improvise. The new building should be completed in a few weeks," Retsu said.

"What do you mean?" Zaraki asked.

"The building fell down after some people became a little too enthusiastic, looking for hidden passages," said Retsu looking at Yachiru.

"I wasn't the only one," Yachiru said defensively. "We didn't find any," she told Zaraki, glumly.

"So who hurt you, Ken-chan? Are you going to destroy them? Can I watch?" Yachiru brightened at the thought.

"Let Captain Zaraki recover, Yachiru. He will need to make a full report to Captain General Yamamoto, in person, when he is well again. Now didn't you have to go to see the Captain-General to explain about the building collapse? I heard he was anxious to see you," Retsu reminded Yachiru.

"Oops. I forgot. I was worried about Ken-chan and it slipped my mind. I better go, I suppose. Get better, Ken-chan. I'll be back soon," said Yachiru as she skipped to the door.

Retsu waited until she was sure Yachiru was out of earshot and pulled a chair close to the bed. She looked at Zaraki who had again closed his eyes. He was frowning. If she was honest, Retsu felt guilty. It was on her advice that Zaraki had tried to talk to his zanpaku-to and it seemed that all the injuries were a direct result of that advice.

When he had been brought in, the amount of poison she found in his body scared her as did her lack of knowledge of how to treat it. She quickly formulated some anti-toxins and they seemed to help. Once she removed his eye patch, Zaraki improved markedly, and she still didn't understand that. The cuts, scratches and stab wounds were unlike anything she had seen before. A person or persons wielding something hard and very sharp had viciously attacked the Captain of the 11th Company and poisoned him, all in the space of a few minutes, probably while he was distracted by talking to his zanpaku-to. That really shocked her as she had rarely seen Zaraki bested in a fight. Thinking about his attackers, she felt uneasy that they might be loose in Seireitei. Unless he was attacked by his zanpaku-to. If that were true, then the problem was even more complex.

"Zaraki, do you want to talk? Just tell me if you're too tired. We can talk later, but I just want to know what happened. Zaraki?" Retsu asked.

There was no reply. Zaraki's eyes remained closed. Retsu noted the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest.

"Oh, he's asleep, again. I should have guessed," she said to herself. "I'll talk to him later, when he's feeling better. At least he recovers quickly in normal circumstances."

After she left the room, Zaraki opened his eyes. He didn't want to talk about the experience. He knew Retsu would be sympathetic, but he did not want anyone's sympathy. The situation was too weird and embarrassing. How could he explain about Atonomatsuri and his fight with her? He considered what he could say. It was better to keep it secret for now. He tried to get out of the bed but felt too weak. Damn that vulture and her poison!

He lay there a few minutes wondering if he could or would trust anyone with the truth.

"A secret shared between three people is only safe when two of them are dead," a loathsomely familiar voice said in his mind.

Zaraki shut his eyes in disgust.

"Shut up. If you talk to me I won't summon you. Leave me alone," he said aloud as Isane entered the room with a jug of water.

"Sorry, Captain," she said and began to leave the room.

"I don't mean you", Zaraki snapped. "I'm just thinking aloud."

Isane placed the water on the table near the bed looking slightly nervous.

"You have some visitors, if you want to see them," she told Zaraki.

Zaraki scowled and shook his head. He didn't want to hear any more chatter. He'd heard enough from Atonomatsuri to last for any number of days.

Isane smiled politely and left the room.

Zaraki heard Atonomatsuri sniggering in his mind

"I told you to shut up and leave me alone," yelled Zaraki, anger giving him the strength to sit up.

As he was yelling the last word he noticed Iemura hesitating at the door.

"What do you want? I'm in a bad mood," Zaraki growled.

Iemura smiled unconvincingly. "My captain wanted to know if you had a headache. She sent a remedy for it," he explained quickly.

"Thank your captain for me. I don't have a headache, yet, but I think I will soon. Can I just be left alone?" Zaraki barked.

Iemura put the medicine next to the water and left the room as quickly as he could without running.

Atonomatsuri was now laughing.

"Get out of my mind, you festering corpse," Zaraki muttered. "I swear I won't summon you. Leave me alone. I need to think."

"Thinking is the essence of wisdom. Have fun, Kenny," Atonomatsuri said.

"Damn! Damn! Blood! Damn! Blast!" exploded Zaraki as Retsu entered the room.

"I see you're awake again, Zaraki," she commented dryly. "That was a short sleep. Iemura was shaking when he returned from giving you the medicine. What's going on?"

Anger made Zaraki reckless. "Her name **is** Atonomatsuri. I loathe her. She's a weird decomposing pink and black vulture with a vicious poisoned tongue who constantly uses adages. She kept me trapped in my mind for what seemed like days, constantly talking, insulting, goading and annoying me. I tried to kill her, but failed. She expects me to trust her! She poisoned me twice." Zaraki was almost panting with outrage.

"Calm down, Zaraki. I have no idea what that poison could do if you become overexcited," Retsu said sharply.

Stunned at her tone Zaraki took a deep breath and rubbed his face.

"So, it was harder than you expected. Are you going to give up?" Retsu asked calmly.

"No, blast it. I promised that I would summon her. I want to get stronger. I just want her out of my mind," he groaned.

"I see. It's good that you can talk to her directly," Retsu observed.

"No it isn't. She taunts me, laughs at me in my mind. The number of times she lied to me," Zaraki suppressed a shudder at the memory.

"I see. I can't really help you with that. You do need to build up trust with her. The sooner you start training with her, the better. I'm going to keep you in overnight for observation. I told Captain Kurotsuchi to go away and he wasn't very happy. He was insisting that he should be allowed to see you. I know you don't want to see him now," Retsu remarked.

"Or ever," muttered Zaraki.

Retsu laughed. "You were never the best of friends," she observed.

"Better to have that guy as an enemy. Thanks for telling him to go away. I'd probably try to kill him if I saw his stupid face right now."

"You've had a few other visitors. Most of your company have called insisting they see you. I sent a messenger to Madarame and he is handling that. I sent Yachiru away just now. She was a little overexcited by her visit to the Captain-General. As your doctor, I thought she would not be very good company and told her so. I'm not very popular with her at the moment. She called me an old bag, or maybe it was hag. Then she said something about rhubarb and ran off. I think she's given me a new nickname."

Zaraki winced. "Yachiru hates rhubarb even though she likes the colour. Says it's a waste of garden space. If she's given you that nickname...," he paused. "Buy her a big bag of Konpeito. That might influence her to give you another nickname. Hell, if it's large enough you will be her favourite person until she's eaten it all."

Retsu smiled. "I'll do that. I don't like rhubarb much myself. What about you?"

Zaraki shrugged. "I don't care either way. I don't like sweet things."

"Did all your wounds come from Atonomatsuri," Retsu asked concern in her voice.

Zaraki dropped his eyes and examined his fingernails. He didn't wish to reply

"If they did she must be a pretty formidable opponent. Better to have her help you than fight against you," she advised quietly.

"I know you're right," Zaraki replied still examining his fingernails. "It's something I have to think about. All this thinking. Urgh."

"Are you hungry? Do you want some food?" asked Retsu.

Zaraki brightened. "Yeah. I am pretty hungry. Some sake would be nice too," he suggested slyly.

"No sake. Water is better for you right now."

Retsu poured a glass and handed it him.

"Any food in particular?" Retsu inquired.

"Anything but natto," he grinned suddenly. "And no rhubarb."

Chuckling at his last comment, Retsu left the room.

Tentatively Zaraki touched his leg where the poison barb has stabbed him the last time. It was painful. He looked at the bandages that covered most of his body.

"Retsu's right. The weird bird is a tough opponent. But I'm tougher. I wonder what would have happened if I had cut off her wing? Probably best I didn't."

He looked around the room enjoying the ordered calm. Much better than the place he had been trapped. No evidence of destruction. The bed was comfortable. No inexplicable winds or confusing explanations. He leant back, letting his muscles relax. It was good to be back in Seireitei, or had he really left? As he was in his mind and his body was in Seireitei obviously he had never left. Or had he? Damned philosophical questions.

Briefly his mind wandered to Tosen. "He liked discussing philosophy. Constantly talking about Nietzsche. Some screwy idea about a superman. And who was that other guy Michia? Macaroni? Some guy who wrote about a king or something. Probably another reason we didn't get on. Why discuss ideas of dead guys when you can fight? Fighting Tosen was a bit of a challenge, made me think a little in order to defeat him, but still, I didn't have to remove my eye patch. It doesn't count as a real challenge until I need that extra power. Probably Atonomatsuri liked it when I fought Tosen, the thinking and all. Hell, she probably likes Tosen better than me."

Zaraki grimaced briefly as he remembered the hatred he felt from Tosen, though, of course, Tosen denied it.

"Kept going on and on about honour and how he was going to rid the world of a monster when he killed me, or some such crap. Once I worked out his moves, he was no opponent, even when he used bankai. All that talk about honour, and how honourable was he? Wonder if he'd be more of a challenge now?"

Zaraki mused about fighting an Arrancar for a few minutes, confirming his belief that he needed to work with Atonomatsuri.

His mind wandered until he remembered how he'd deliberately goaded the other captains", trying to get them to invoke their bankai. He'd been interested ever since he'd been defeated by Ichigo. Would bankai help him grow stronger? Some of the bankai's he'd seen seemed like cheating. Not that he could even think about bankai yet. He still had to work out how to use the little information he'd actually managed to obtain from Atonomatsuri.

"Getting information from Atonomatsuri is like getting….NO! I will not use an adage. It's hard to get that fetid creature to tell the truth. Even when I was about to cut off her wing, I'm sure she didn't tell me the whole truth. Then there was all that crap about my bells and the number 11. What have they got to do with anything? Maybe she was trying to distract me from asking the real questions. It wouldn't surprise me. The real questions. There must be real questions. I'll have to try to get her in a position where she has to answer truthfully. What is the too late power? Will I learn to use it now, or do I have to wait until bankai? Why yawn? Why does the release have to be the word yawn?" Zaraki automatically yawned.

Carrying a tray, Retsu entered the room.

"I hope you're not too tired to eat, Zaraki. I've brought my meal as well. I thought we could eat together," she said pleasantly as she placed the tray in front of Zaraki.

"Not tired, just thinking," he said spearing a piece of asparagus and eating it. "This is good. I didn't realise I was so hungry."

"Thank you. I made it because I was hungry and thought you might enjoy some of my favourites. I hope you like stir-fry pork," Retsu replied, seating herself close to the bed.

"And noodles and rice balls," said Zaraki happily inspecting the contents of the tray.

"I remembered that you enjoyed the rice balls the last time you visited," she replied, stealing one.

"Hey, they're supposed to be for the patient, not the doctor," Zaraki joked.

Retsu stopped eating in surprise. "Did you make a joke, Zaraki?"

Zaraki flushed. "Yeah, suppose I did. It just feels so good to be here and not trapped with that pain in the neck." He ate quickly wondering why he was so hungry.

Retsu commenced eating again.

"Has your zanpaku-to ever taken you into your mind," Zaraki asked tentatively after they had eaten in silence for a few minutes.

"Only once. I think I was there for a short time," Retsu replied. She concentrated, trying to remember. "It was a long time ago. I just remember realising that my mind was like another world."

"Another world. I suppose you could say that," Zaraki muttered.

"Another world of destruction," he thought. "I suppose other people's minds are paradise compared to mine. I wonder if Atonomatsuri caused some of the destruction. Why am I even thinking about this," Zaraki thought.

"What was your mind like, Zaraki?"

"Do you want to steal another rice ball, Captain Unohana?"

She looked at him, bemused by his response. Zaraki was frowning, his eyes intent on his food, but he had stopped eating.

"I take it that you don't want to talk about it then. It must have been pretty bad," Retsu said curiously,

Zaraki shrugged and started eating again.

"I'm sorry Zaraki. I'm sorry that my advice has caused you this trouble," Retsu said quietly. "I had hoped to assist you…"

"You did help me, Retsu," Zaraki interrupted. "You didn't know. I'm grateful for your help. I'm alive. I know my zanpaku-to's name which was problem I came to see you about. Still sure there's no one you want me to kill?" Zaraki joked.

"Yes, I'm sure," she smiled at him.

The finished their meal in companionable silence each busy with their thoughts.

Zaraki ate all the food on the tray. He wasn't full, but that didn't worry him. Feeling tired he yawned again.

"I think you better sleep Zaraki. You're yawning again," Retsu commented.

"Thanks for the meal Retsu. I am tired. I didn't know you could cook," Zaraki said stifling another yawn.

Retsu took the tray and left the room, turning out the light as she left.

Zaraki fell asleep and dreamt….

He dreamt he was back in his mind with Atonomatsuri. She looked at him and gestured with her beak for him to look around.

What he saw surprised him. While the ground was still covered with debris he could see a number of objects that looked whole. He looked at the sky which had at least one whole sun on the verge of turning dwarf, but it was whole and providing a sort of red light. The wind blew his hair across his face.

"What does this mean, Atonomatsuri," Zaraki asked.

She shook her head and did not answer. She seemed to be moving further away from him without actually moving. His mind was drifting out from under his feet.

The next minute Zaraki dreamt he was fighting Tosen again. Tosen was saying "Success is measured by actions, not by words. Words can explain actions, but actions do not explain words."

"Stop talking crap," yelled Zaraki as his zanpaku-to slipped past Tosen's guard and embedded itself in his chest.

"Your actions have not defeated me. I have won," Tosen said as he crumbled into ash.

Zaraki awoke with a start. He was sweating and though he did not want to admit it, the dream had disturbed him. For a hellish minute he thought he was again trapped in his mind while the Winds of Change blew.

The dream about Tosen he shrugged off. Probably the result of thinking about the guy earlier.

He sat up and looked around, reluctant to return to sleep so soon. He was no longer tired. The room was quiet and it was still dark outside. The sickle moon was visible through the window. The sheets rustled loudly as Zaraki shifted.

He felt better, not so weak. He watched the moon move across the sky, grateful to see it after observing the decaying sky in his mind.

Did the dream mean his mind was slowly repairing itself because he was thinking? Why didn't Atonomatsuri speak? That was the real shock. The bird kept her beak shut for once. Not one adage. It made him almost think kindly of her, almost, but not quite.

He felt a presence at the door and looked. Retsu was standing there.

"I thought I heard someone call out. I've checked the only other patient. She was still asleep," Retsu said as she walked into the room. "Are you in pain? Do you need medicine?"

Zaraki shook his head. "No, just some bad dreams. I don't normally have them."

"It could be the poison working its way through your system," she suggested. "Do you…" she began and stopped.

"What is it Retsu?" Zaraki sighed.

"Do you think you could obtain a fresh sample of the poison? I'm really interested in it and I don't see why Kurotsuchi should have the monopoly on research. I have a feeling it suppresses the reiatsu which could be useful."

"It does, or so I was told," Zaraki replied reluctantly.

"I thought so! I said earlier that I noticed you improved once I took off your eye patch. Do you know anything else about it? I'm really interested," Retsu said eagerly.

"And so am I," said Kurotsuchi emerging from the wall and turning on the light.

Retsu and Zaraki stared at Kurotsuchi.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Zaraki said angrily.

"I have my ways," said Kurotsuchi smoothly.

"Get out the same way," Zaraki growled.

"You're still weak from the poison. If the world were fair you would be dead. You don't scare me. I want to know more about the poison and the source of the poison. I'll dissect and squeeze the truth out of that source once I get my hands on it. I will make it give up all its secrets," Kurotsuchi imagined aloud.

Thinking about Kurotsuchi trying to get the better of Atonomatsuri made Zaraki laugh.

"You have no idea," Zaraki said laughing. "There'd be no contest. If you tried anything you'd be poisoned or insulted to an inch of your life. You can't learn everything from destruction of another being."

Realising what he said made Zaraki pause. Was he getting soft? Where did that garbage come from?

"So, you do know the source of the poison," Kurotsuchi said moving closer to Zaraki.

Kurotsuchi extended his hand to grasp Zaraki's wrist. "Now tell me all Zaraki. I want to know."

Zaraki watched amused as Kurotsuchi tried to exert control over him.

Retsu quietly slipped out of the room knowing that Zaraki had all of Kurotsuchi's attention.

"I didn't know you were like that Kurotsuchi. Wanting to hold hands with a fellow captain," Zaraki easily pulled his wrist free. "Sorry, you just don't appeal to me. You chose the wrong captain. Hell, I think you chose the wrong species," Zaraki said grinning at the look of incredulous outrage that spread across Kurotsuchi's face.

"That insult will not go unpunished, Zaraki," Kurotsuchi shrilled.

His voice was quickly cut off as one of Zaraki's large hands gripped him by the throat.

"You like to prey on the weak and powerless, don't you Kurotsuchi? God, you're scum. You hoped the poison would weaken me enough so you could overpower me." Zaraki said to the choking captain. "You're not a decent challenge even when I'm not at my usual strength. If I find you've been sniffing around 11th Division, I'll take great pleasure in cutting you. Now get out and leave me alone."

Zaraki flung Kurotsuchi away. Retsu appeared at the door with Ayasegawa and Hanatoro all holding unsheathed zanpaku-to's.

"I see you already took care of the little problem," fluted Ayasegawa throwing a disgusted look at Kurotsuchi.

"Get this waste of air out of here," Zaraki commanded Ayasegawa.

"Should I take him back to 11th Division and let them play with him? I know Madarame would like to fight this person," Ayasegawa suggested playfully.

"No, just kick him out of here. He is a captain, after all, but a poor excuse for a Shinigami. Retsu could you witness that I was not unprovoked. I don't want him complaining to the Captain-General about unfair treatment," Zaraki requested.

"Happy to do so, Zaraki. I don't like it when my patients are disturbed by unwanted intruders," Retsu replied. "Especially when they threaten my patients. I think I might complain to the Captain-General about this matter. You have done this one too many times, Captain Kurotsuchi. I can remember a number of incidents…."

"You have no cause for complaint, Unohana. I have caused no trouble for your division…" Kurotsuchi began but was abruptly cut off when Ayasegawa seized him.

"I know how he managed to get in," said Hanatoro as he assisted Ayasegawa in restraining Kurotsuchi. "He brought in a member of his division who was suffering from poisoning. It seemed very similar to the poison we found in Captain Zaraki. It was nearly a lethal dose. While I was attending to her, Captain Kurotsuchi disappeared. I thought it strange but I was too concerned about the poison."

"A coincidence?" asked Retsu. "I don't think so. Please remove Captain Kurotsuchi and make certain he does not return."

Hanatoro and Ayasegawa "encouraged" Kurotsuchi to leave the room, while Kurotsuchi complained all the while about the treatment he was receiving.

"I'm sorry Zaraki. I should have known he'd sneak in here some way," Retsu said.

"I can take care of myself. It would have been good to cut that scum. Maybe later. No need to apologise. It livened up my stay here," Zaraki grinned.

Laughing at his attitude Retsu said, "I'm never sure how you're going to react, Zaraki. You're always thinking about the next fight but sometimes you are very insightful. It's nice to talk to someone not intent on playing mind games."

Zaraki immediately thought of Atonomatsuri and the mind games she had made him play.

"I hate bloody mind games. Always some crappy agenda that you don't know about. No one really wins. It's better to fight openly. That way you know who wins and who is defeated."

Zaraki stretched.

"Do you want company, or do you wish to sleep?" Retsu asked.

"I'm not really tired anymore and I'd like some company. Do you have a pack of cards? Talking about mind games made me feel like playing something and as you won't let me drink sake that means drinking games are off the list. I'd like a game of something," Zaraki suggested.

"I have cards, but the only games I know require more than 2 players. I think Hanatoro and Yumichika may be keeping watch to make sure that Kurotsuchi does not try to return. Yumichika wanted to stay on guard outside your room earlier, but I thought you would be safe in Seireitei. I don't like to be proved wrong. I do have a chess set, or we could play backgammon," Retsu suggested.

"Backgammon, then," Zaraki decided. "I don't feel up to chess tonight."

Retsu found her backgammon board and they commenced playing.

Retsu was very good. She beat Zaraki the first two games.

"Who taught you to play?" Zaraki asked curiously at the end of the second match.

"No one person. I often play backgammon. I've taught all the seats in my division. When I feel tense I usually have a game to try to relax. You're not bad, either. My luck has been with me tonight and I've managed to throw the numbers I need," Retsu replied.

"One more game?" Zaraki suggested.

Retsu smiled at him. "Eager for more punishment? I didn't take you for a masochist, Zaraki."

"I think I've worked out your strategy. Just want to see if I'm right."

The next game was much closer with Retsu winning by a single counter.

Zaraki grinned.

"Why are you smiling? You lost."

"But I've worked out your strategy. Next time I'll beat you," Zaraki looked toward the window. "I didn't notice it was morning."

Retsu looked at the window. "Do you want breakfast?"

Before Zaraki could reply, Iemura entered the room with a tray containing what appeared to be breakfast for two.

"You read my mind," Retsu told him.

Iemura gave her a stiff smile, and with a worried look at Zaraki hurriedly left the room.

Zaraki and Retsu chatted about backgammon and cards as they ate.

"You can leave today, anytime, Zaraki. I know you were going to ask. I think you have recovered enough," Retsu said when they were finished. "I'll have a new shihakusho and your old Captain's coat brought to you. I wonder how your coat remained intact."

"I won't let it be destroyed. Thanks. I want to get back and see if my division have destroyed any other buildings," Zaraki said half seriously.

"I'm sure they're only following the example of their captain," Retsu suggested leaving the room, carrying the tray.

"Very cutting, Retsu," Zaraki said with a slight grimace. "Thanks again, for everything."

After his new shihakusho and coat were brought to him by a nervous Iemura, Zaraki quickly dressed and went to find Ayasegawa.

"Let's go," he said to his 5th seat who was admiring his reflection.

"Maybe I'll try to summon Atonomatsuri today," he thought as he left the building followed by Ayasegawa. "Maybe not."

_

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_

Author's Note

The gag I put on Atonomatsuri must have worked. It's not an easy thing to gag a decaying vulture. I thought Zaraki needed a break.

Sorry to disappoint anyone who is hoping for romance in this story. Maybe the potential is there, but some of the other stories I write are romantic (not forgetting the angst). This story is a romance free zone.

I **may** write a romance featuring Zaraki and Retsu later. No promises. It's on my list.

A special mention and thanks to Specter Von Baren. Specter noted that there would be very little time elapsed between when Zaraki went into his mind and returned, if this story followed the precedent in _Bleach_. I didn't mention it in my answers last time because it was part of the plot in this chapter. Specter kindly agreed to allow me to use his suggestion about Tosen. Thanks Specter.

I agree with Chrosis. I was yelling at Atonomatsuri to speak in plain English at least one chapter ago, but she won't listen.

Jenova Juice: Atonomatsuri is a champion at procrastination.

I would also like to thank all the people who have reviewed this story for their continuing support and interesting suggestions. I try to use them, but some just don't fit in with my plans.

Please review.

MS


	13. Revelations

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

**Revelation**

Zaraki walked quickly, followed by Ayasegawa. He did not feel like talking. There had been far too much talk recently. His ears almost hurt from the number of words they had been forced to hear from Atonomatsuri.

It felt good to walk in the fresh air, with a real sky above. Of course, Zaraki would not admit that to anyone. Why should anyone know his inner thoughts? That would give them too much power.

He knew that his earlier confession to Retsu had given her power over him, but he did not believe she would ever use it. He didn't trust her exactly. Trust and Zaraki had trouble recognising each other. Probably he felt her sense of honour would prevent her from using any information. She took her position seriously.

The one creature who knew some of his inner thoughts couldn't tell anyone else. If he thought about it, Atonomatsuri did not always get everything right. She was often wrong. That thought pleased Zaraki. "I hate infallible creatures, or infallible anything," he thought as they approached his office.

Zaraki heard voices squabbling within the office. He gestured to Ayasegawa to approach quietly. They looked through the door. Yachiru was sitting on top of the desk playing with a necklace she had made from paperclips.

"Just give me one?" Madarame was begging her. "I just want to get this cabinet open. I'll give it back as soon as I finish. I'll buy you some sweets."

"But I like my necklace. I don't want to give you a paperclip from it. Anyway, that's Ken-chan's cabinet. He doesn't like it when you open it without permission. What sort of sweets?" Yachiru asked swinging the necklace in front of Madarame.

"Preserved plums. He won't know," Madarame said.

"I don't like preserved plums. And he will know 'cause I'll tell him. That's where he keeps his special sake. He doesn't like it when he finds it gone," Yachiru scolded.

"I'll get you some Pocky. As for the sake, I'll replace it, I promise," Madarame said.

"Like the other times you've replaced the sake? And I don't like Pocky," boomed Zaraki.

Startled, Madarame swung around. He looked slightly foolish when he saw Zaraki standing at the door with Ayasegawa.

"Oh, Captain. Pleased to see you well again. Really pleased to see you back here. Yes, I'm very pleased," said Madarame, perspiring a little.

"And I'll be pleased if you leave my sake alone. Don't you have something better to do? Have you been drilling the new recruits? They need a lot of work. I was disgusted by their abilities when I went down to exercise yesterday. Weaklings the lot of them," Zaraki commented harshly.

"I was planning on drilling them later," Madarame began.

"Now! You assist him, Yachiru. Make sure that they sweat. Work them till they heave. Don't let up until they have the basics. I don't care how long it takes. Do you understand? This is 11th Division, not a place for the weak or worthless. They wanted to join this division, show them what it means," Zaraki ordered. "I'll be down later to see how they are shaping up. Don't fail me, or I'll attend to your training, personally."

"But Ken-chan I wanted to talk to you," Yachiru began.

"Later. I've got to visit the Captain-General to report on events," Zaraki said, determined to make up for his earlier apology and weakness. No one would think Zaraki was weak.

"Foolish, foolish Kenny," Atonomatsuri said in his mind. "To see what is right and not to do it is to want courage. It was right to apologise to Yachiru. You're just suffering from that fall from pride."

Zaraki ignored her voice. It was easier than thinking about replying and he didn't want to be seen talking to an invisible creature again.

Yachiru and Madarame reluctantly left to follow Zaraki's instructions. Ayasegawa hesitated briefly and followed the other two.

Zaraki checked his appearance briefly and noticed that his hair was in disarray; no bells, no spikes. He was temporarily annoyed that people had seen him this way. Too bad. He'd make certain that he appeared as normal in future.

It took some time to get his hair to its normal state and he had to locate his spare set of bells. From the look of them someone had been playing with them. No matter, he needed to get some more. Then he replaced the eye patch. He glared at his reflection as if challenging it to show some signs of the internal changes. He looked normal, except for the wounds he'd received from Atonomatsuri. When he got dressed at 4th Division he'd removed the bandages. He didn't want to appear injured. Anyway, what were a few wounds?

He walked quickly to see the Captain-General. How could he explain? Damn, he hated being accountable. He wouldn't tell the whole truth. He'd have to construct a half lie of some kind.

"Truth will out, Kenny. Tell him the truth. He might find it amusing. Then the truth will spread through all the 13 squads. Kenpachi Zaraki was talking to his zanpaku-to trying to learn its name, but it attacked and poisoned him. Imagine, the nearly unbeatable Zaraki, beaten by his own zanpaku-to," Atonomatsuri gloated. "I can just imagine the looks you will receive. Not everyone will be as understanding as Retsu. Tell the truth and shame the devil, Kenny. It's the honourable thing to do."

Zaraki stopped walking, sickened by the revelation. Blast the pestilential creature! She was right. Even a partial truth could be harmful. He looked around. Only a few more streets before he was at headquarters. He went into a nearby bar and sat down. Instead of ordering the sake he wanted, he ordered tea. He needed a clear head. The bar man gave him a strange look, then realised who had asked for tea. He went without asking any questions.

Atonomatsuri was shouting in the back if his mind, exhorting him to tell the truth.

"A lie begets a lie till they come to generations. Credit won by lying is quick in dying," were some of the adages she used to urge him to truth.

Zaraki growled softly and then noticed the tea being placed in front of him. He changed the growl to a grunt of acknowledgement and the bar man hurried away.

Zaraki poured some tea and sipped it.

"I can't tell the truth and even the partial truth would be too revealing. I can't lie either, otherwise Seireitei will be in an uproar looking for the people who attacked me. This is hard," Zaraki poured a fresh cup of tea. "I wish I could talk to someone about it. Did I even think that? Must be the influence of that thrice damned vulture. Stuff this. I'll answer the questions as close to the truth as I can. He can't force me to answer. But I don't want to lie to the old man. "

Angry at his thoughts, Zaraki got to his feet, slammed some money on the table and abruptly left. The bar man watched him, curious as to why Kenpachi Zaraki was drinking tea in a bar.

Zaraki strode to the Captain-Generals office and was immediately admitted.

"Captain Zaraki? Good. Now maybe you can explain matters to me. Who attacked you?" Yamamoto asked as soon as Zaraki opened the door.

"My assailant is no threat to anyone," Zaraki replied as he walked into the room and stood before the desk.

"That's not an answer, Zaraki. Are you trying to protect someone?"

"No," Zaraki replied.

"Returning to the monosyllabic answers? When you do that, you know I'll keep asking. It's a delaying technique you use often," the Captain General observed. "Who attacked you?"

"I don't want to answer that."

"Once more, Zaraki. Who attacked you?"

"No comment," Zaraki was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

The Captain General leant back in his chair and observed Zaraki with eyes brightened with interest.

"Three refusals to answer a direct question put by a superior officer. Either you want to spend some time in a cell thinking about your answer; you have been sworn to secrecy, or it spoils your self image. Which is it, Zaraki," the Captain General watched Zaraki closely.

Zaraki stayed stubbornly silent.

"Monosyllabic, no comment and now silence. Hoping I'll challenge you for insubordination and become distracted? I'm too fascinated now to let this go. Give me an answer in the next minute, or I will place you in a cell. I mean to get my answer no matter how long it takes."

"Sir, I would prefer not to answer the question," Zaraki said thickly.

"Sir? Becoming very formal aren't we Captain? Starting to lose your temper? I insist on an answer. Look at it from my position. The Captain of 11th Division is found beaten, poisoned and unconscious in a building he entered only a few minutes before. No one was seen leaving the building. The 11th Division examined the building after their captain was removed and the building collapses," he held up his hand as if to prevent an interruption. "Your vice-captain explained why the building collapsed. That is not the point. You were attacked and now you refuse to tell me who attacked you. I'd almost feel inclined to accuse your vice-captain and third seat of the crime, except I know that is a ludicrous idea."

He paused, studying Zaraki's reaction.

Zaraki had started to sweat. He was going to have to tell the truth. It was bad enough one person knew his secret. This would make two. The comment Atonomatsuri had made about secrets came back to him. Three people would know and all of them would be alive.

"Captain General, I request that the information I am about to provide is kept strictly confidential," Zaraki said in a low voice.

"I won't agree to that. If it is important, I will have to let the other captains know."

"Then I'm afraid you'll have to put me in that cell," Zaraki said, noticing the astonishment spread across his superior's face.

"You're not serious, Zaraki? You can't be serious! As your superior officer I have the right to know. Don't you care about the shame for your Division if I put you in a cell?"

"Don't care. Shame is nothing, and I am serious. I won't tell you unless you agree to complete confidentiality," Zaraki said forcefully.

"Then I will carry out my threat. I do not like insubordination in my Captains."

"Tell him Kenny. I think it would be amusing. Remember a trouble shared is a trouble halved," said Atonomatsuri snidely in his mind

Zaraki shook his head trying to ignore the voice.

Yamamoto looked at him curiously. "Very well. Come with me."

Zaraki followed the Captain General to the cell. There was no point objecting, he had consciously made this choice.

His zanpaku-to was removed and a guard was placed outside the door.

"I will allow no visitors, Captain," Yamamoto said coolly. "I will return in a few hours to see if you have changed your mind"

"I won't" Zaraki replied, shutting his eyes as Yamamoto left.

"Are you sure you're not using this as an excuse to delay summoning me?" Atonomatsuri enquired. "When ignorance and arrogance marry, the devil is the matchmaker. You should have told the Captain General the truth, Kenny. I'm sure he would understand. I mean, he has achieved bankai."

Zaraki groaned at the return of her voice.

"You're the cause of this mess. Leave me alone. I have to think," Zaraki mumbled.

"Now there's a turn-up for the books. Kenny admitting he has to think," Atonomatsuri sniggered. "Think quickly and well, Kenny. Maybe I can help. Let me see. How about: An obstinate man does not hold opinions; they hold him. Does that help?"

"Shut your festering beak and leave me alone," Zaraki replied quietly.

Maybe it was all a delaying technique. He wasn't consciously delaying his summoning of the bird; he was too humiliated to admit to the truth. If he admitted that he was working toward bankai, would that break the strength of 11th Division?

It has surprised him that Yamamoto had enforced his threat, but that was one of the qualities Zaraki admired. Idle threats were pointless. However, it put Zaraki in the position of either remaining a prisoner, or admitting the truth.

"The truth will make you free," chided Atonomatsuri.

Zaraki ignored her.

"You really didn't think this through, did you Kenny. People will notice if you achieve bankai and use it. Did you expect everyone to close their eyes and not notice? Or politely look away? Or were you planning to try to distract them when you call on the power? How could you do that I wonder? Hire a circus? Bring on a troupe of Noh actors? Or say "Look over there, quick," when you bankai? Not an option if you're in a battle. Bankai is not something you can hide unless you never use it, and then what's the point of getting there? It's not a restrained thing. Or are you, the great Kenpachi Zaraki, scared of what people might think? Our worst misfortunes never happen, and most miseries lie in anticipation," Atonomatsuri said, barely taking a breath.

Zaraki growled. It was true. Showing the new form of his zanpaku-to would be noticed, even if he managed to control the size of the blade. Why hadn't he thought of this earlier? He may as well just tell the truth and wait the months it would take for the sly jokes to cease. Not that he cared. He didn't care what people thought. It was unimportant. No one would be stupid enough to say anything to his face, unless they had a death wish. What was most important was every Shinigami needed to be at full strength to cope with the latest threat. He could change the direction of 11th Division, not only to be the strongest in using brute force, but to be the strongest by using their zanpaku-to's powers to defeat an opponent. He thought that might work. Strength was everything.

Briefly, Zaraki considered kido. He wouldn't use it. He would think about the use of kido in his Division later. It was going to be problematic. He wanted to talk to Madarame, Ayasegawa and Yachiru about this. They might have some ideas. He stopped himself. What the hell was he thinking? Asking the opinion of others? Damn that for a joke. He made the decisions. He was the captain. If anyone questioned him, they would face him and Atonomatsuri in her new form. It would be good practice.

"You know if you had told the Captain-General the truth in the first place we wouldn't be here. I don't understand you, Kenny. You're so stubborn; always sure you're right. Why don't you think things through before you act? Oh, sorry I used that word think again. Small men think they are small; great men never know they are great," Atonomatsuri said with a great amount of sarcasm.

"Shut it beak face. I could say the same about you. You're always sure you're right and you go on about it. You're not always right and you're stubborn. I don't care about being in here. It's quiet at least, except for your yapping. If you were quiet, I could sleep. Last night was rather busy. Stupid Kurotsuchi! Thinking I'd be weak enough for him to overpower me. It might be funny if I let him try to get any answers out of you. I give him five minutes before he's a gibbering heap," Zaraki ruminated.

"Life is a circus. You can choose to be the ringmaster, not the clown. I think we agree which Kurotsuchi has decided to be," Atonomatsuri said.

Zaraki thought about what she said and was amused at his realization.

"Atonomatsuri, did you just use an adage against someone else, not me? What's gotten into you, fetid vulture? Are you becoming soft in the head or something?" Zaraki asked.

Atonomatsuri gave an embarrassed cough. "I don't like the clown captain. If he got his hands on me, he'd try to kill me painfully. I've heard people talk about him. So have you, you just ignore the conversations. You heard him threaten me."

"He wouldn't have a chance against you. You have gone soft in the head. Must be that bug in your brain. It almost sounds like you prefer me to him," Zaraki observed dryly.

"How long before the Captain-General comes back?" asked Atonomatsuri.

"Changing the subject again? I take it that you do prefer me. Don't worry, I won't let the flattery go to my head," Zaraki laughed. "We both hate him. That's one thing we agree on."

"It is the duty of the zanpaku-to to prefer its owner to other Shinigami," said Atonomatsuri sulkily.

"Damn that for a lie, bird. I don't recall you saying that before. All I got was how much you hate me and you wish you had a different owner. I remember our conversations too. How often do you tell the truth? Probably as often as you change your mind," Zaraki said pleased to have the upper hand.

"Truth is relative," suggested Atonomatsuri.

"Stupid adage. Means nothing. If truth is relative, then nothing is true unless you know all the facts. It is not possible to know all the facts unless you know everything. Therefore no one can discover the truth because no one knows all the facts. Your truth may be different to my truth. I've heard the arguments over truth and I think they're all crap. You lie, you get found out and then come up with some friggin' adage to try to hide what you really mean," Zaraki stated flatly.

Atonomatsuri was quiet and did not respond to this observation.

Zaraki stared at the wall, thinking about change. Even he had to change. Seireitei had changed. Some people seemed impervious to the changes, doing what they always had. Zaraki had been one of them. He wasn't going to say he liked change, or even thought it was good. Just had to make sure the change did not make him less of a warrior. He needed to maintain his fighting skills, not just rely on any added strength from Atonomatsuri.

"If I lend you any strength," Atonomatsuri sniped in his mind. "Borrowed strength is a false basis for power."

"Talking again are you? Hoping I'd forgotten about your lies? Forget it. If you keep lying to me how do you expect me to trust you?" Zaraki asked in an interrogatory manner.

Atonomatsuri refused to answer.

Zaraki returned to his thoughts. He really had to summon the bird. She had hinted at powers, many powers. He knew about the poison but had difficulty in understanding how that could be used. The barb was in her tongue and she could use it but how could it be on the zanpaku-to? How could he make the blade smaller so that he could actually use it? If the blade was smaller would it look less ugly? Was there any way he could disguise the pink?

He'd summon Atonomatsuri privately first; see if he could gain some control over the blade and an understanding of her powers. If he mumbled the secondary release word, no one would know what it was. He knew other Shinigami yelled their release words, but that was only when they were interesting. Maybe he could say something like "yawning abyss" when summoning her.

Zaraki realized what he was thinking. "Do I care? Why am I concerned by one bloody word? Why did I even worry about it in the first place? Must have been the effect of the poison. Wonder what other side effects the stuff has. I promised to get a sample for Retsu. I'll do that when I summon the bird, if she will cooperate."

"I'll give you the poison for Retsu," Atonomatsuri said. "She's got sense. More sense than you, Kenny. She doesn't try to hide who she is. She doesn't try to hide her face. A false face hides an evil mind."

"In hell's name, make up your mind. Are you saying I have an evil mind?"

"Not you, Kenny. I said a false face, emphasis on false."

"Another adage used against Kurotsuchi. He must have really ruffled your feathers," Zaraki riposted.

Atonomatsuri groaned. "No more bad attempts at humour, Kenny. They don't become you."

Zaraki became alert. He heard the sound of approaching footsteps. Maybe the Captain-General was returning.

Climbing to his feet, Zaraki stood calmly waiting. There was no reason to resist anymore. He would explain everything.

Yamamoto entered and walked up to the bars and observed Zaraki critically.

"Have you decided to provide the answers to my questions?"

"I will tell you all, but not here," Zaraki replied.

A look of satisfaction spread across Yamamoto's features.

After being released from the cell Zaraki followed Yamamoto back to his office. Seating himself behind the desk, Yamamoto motioned Zaraki to take a seat.

Zaraki seated himself and waited.

"So Captain, are you prepared now to tell me who attacked and poisoned you?"

"I would request that this does not become general knowledge," Zaraki asked.

"And I have already told you that I cannot guarantee that. Are we at impasse again, Captain? Do I have to take you back to the cell?" Yamamoto asked impatiently.

"No," Zaraki paused and swallowed. He frowned before he provided the rest of the information. "My attacker is no threat to any other person. My attacker was the manifestation of my zanpaku-to."

Yamamoto looked piercingly at Zaraki. "Good story, Zaraki. Who are you trying to shield?"

"It is the truth."

Yamamoto leant forward. Zaraki was feeling distinctly uncomfortable under the observation.

"You don't release your zanpaku-to, Zaraki, it isn't sealed. You've never tried to achieve bankai. I find this very hard to believe. Why the sudden change?"

Zaraki groaned inwardly and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. More explanations he didn't feel like giving.

"When the ryoka came, I was defeated by that kid, Ichigo. He said he managed to defeat me with the help of his zanpaku-to. Now we expect problems from the traitors, I decided I should try to be as strong as possible. I don't think it's possible to improve my reiatsu or physical prowess and I'm not interested in kido. I resolved to use my zanpaku-to. It took a long time to find out her name," Zaraki answered slowly.

There was silence in the room. Zaraki looked out the window. Yamamoto looked at his desk, then at Zaraki.

"You learnt the name of your zanpaku-to. Then what happened?" Yamamoto prompted, tired of waiting for Zaraki to continue.

"I summoned her. We fought," Zaraki answered gruffly.

"Who won?" asked Yamamoto curiously.

Zaraki thought about the answer he should give.

"I won, Kenny! To the victor the spoils. Tell him I won. It's the truth," Atonomatsuri commanded.

"I did, but my zanpaku-to doesn't agree," Zaraki temporised. His forehead felt damp.

"I won!" Atonomatsuri shrieked in Zaraki's mind.

Yamamoto was holding a hand over his mouth. Zaraki had a suspicion it was to hide a smile. He waited for a response from the Captain-General.

"Captain Zaraki. I must admit I find this difficult to believe. We've never had a Shinigami receive the wounds you have simply from summoning the physical manifestation of their zanpaku-to. Not even when trying to achieve bankai. Did you achieve bankai?"

Zaraki shook his head and then rubbed his temples.

"What form does the physical manifestation take?"

"A vulture," Zaraki answered unwilling to provide further details.

"More information, please. You're making this hard, Captain."

Zaraki glared at the Captain-General. His temper was beginning to rise. He half rose from his chair, then thought better of it and resumed his seat.

"A pink and black decomposing vulture, Sir. She hates me. I don't like her. She speaks in adages most of the time. She took me into my mind which is how the wounds were inflicted, apparently. Is that enough information?" he asked tersely.

"Bad idea, Kenny. He'll put us back in the cell. Who seeks a quarrel, finds it near at hand," Atonomatsuri chided.

"What are the powers? Come on man," Yamamoto asked curtly.

"I don't know yet. We were too busy fighting and arguing," Zaraki found himself admitting.

Yamamoto's face twitched. It appeared as if he was trying to control his reaction.

"I'm sure there is more but I won't ask for further information, today. At first I was not inclined to believe you. Your reluctance to tell me and your increasing aggression and agitation persuades me that you are telling the truth. What is your zanpaku-to's name?" Yamamoto asked.

"Atonomatsuri."

Yamamoto smirked. "Atonomatsuri? Too late?"

"Yes," hissed Zaraki.

Yamamoto controlled his features after some effort. "Thank you for the report, Captain. You may leave now. I will probably summon you within the next few days to obtain further information."

Rising to his feet, Zaraki knew that this news would not be kept confidential. His division would probably hear of it before he arrived back in his office. There was nothing he could do unless he killed the Captain-General. For a brief moment, Zaraki entertained the idea, and then dismissed it as unworthy.

"You've made your bed, now you must lie in it," Atonomatsuri informed Zaraki.

He flinched as he walked to the door.

"Truth will out," Atonomatsuri crowed.

Zaraki shook his head as he opened the door. If he walked very fast, maybe he could get back to his office and find the sake before meeting anyone. He needed a drink.

_

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_

Author's Note:

Chapter 13? I hope it's not unlucky.

If you read Chapter 12 when I first submitted the chapter, you may remember I referred to Kurotsuchi as Mayuri. Later I was browsing through the published manga, doing a bit of research for _Daydreams Come True,_ and noticed that during the interrogation of Gin Ichimaru in Chapter 82, Zaraki calls the captain of 12th Division: Kurotsuchi. I have since changed Chapter 12 of _Zanpaku-to? _Sorry for any confusion.

Next chapter Zaraki will summon Atonomatsuri. (I hope. With those two anything could happen.)

Review please.

MS


	14. Interruption to the Dance

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters, except for Atonomatsuri who is my creation. _

**Interruption to the Dance**

Ignoring the many comments made by Atonomatsuri, Zaraki walked toward his office by the fastest route. As usual it was much quicker without Yachiru telling him which direction to take. Sometimes he wondered if she misdirected him for fun. It was possible as she did have a rather peculiar idea of what was humorous.

Nearing his office, he noticed that the sun was low on the horizon. He had spent most of the day in a cell. Remembering his instructions of the morning, Zaraki decided that he would check the training ground. No one would have heard the truth about his injuries, unless Yamamoto sent out a Hell's Butterfly. Zaraki dismissed that idea. The information wasn't worth that type of attention.

It might provide a diversion to watch how the new recruits were working out under the combined direction of Madarame and Yachiru. He was pretty sure that Ayasegawa would be helping, or at least watching. Maybe he should tell them about Atonomatsuri before they heard it from another source.

Changing direction he neared the training ground. As he came closer he could hear Madarame rapping out instructions and insults and Yachiru giggling. Wondering if any new nicknames had been created, Zaraki entered the training ground and stood in the shadows, merely to observe. The recruits were armed with wooden swords at this point. One recruit was on his knees, panting and struggling to stay upright. The rest were still standing, sweat darkening their uniforms as they tried to keep up with Madarame's orders.

"The Captain was right," Madarame yelled. "You disgusted him yesterday, you disgust me today. After a few hours training you all look like you're going to black out. You, whatever your name is, get off your knees and keep training. If you can't take a little mild exercise, why the hell are you even here? This is 11th Division. Not a place where you can rely on kido to solve your problems. Change partners and continue sparring. I want to see more movement, more feints and attacks. Put some effort into it."

Wearily, the recruits tried to follow his orders. Leaning on his wooden sword, the recruit on his knees levered himself into a standing position. His new partner took one swipe at him and he collapsed to the ground.

"Stop," commanded Madarame. "Yumichika, check if he's dead, or just pretending. The rest of you have five minutes and then you'll start again."

Ayasegawa approached the prone body. He prodded it with his toe. No response. Leaning down, he slapped the recruit and only elicited a groan.

"He's not dead. He's lazy," Ayasegawa announced.

"He's not lazy, he's tired," the recruit's partner stated, panting hard.

Ayasegawa looked at him and raised an eyebrow delicately. "Are you contradicting me?" he asked with dangerous politeness.

"No. I'm just saying he's tired," the recruit replied.

Zaraki grinned. Too many recruits misread Ayasegawa's appearance and assumed that he was weak. Zaraki looked at Madarame who was smiling broadly at the stupidity of the recruit. This should be diverting.

"I think you are contradicting me," Ayasegawa said. "I am not in the habit of allowing people to contradict me. It irritates me. You have irritated me."

Madarame drew close to Ayasegawa as did Yachiru.

"Do you know who I am?" Ayasegawa asked.

The recruit shrugged.

"I am the 5th seat in 11th Division."

"So? It's only the 5th seat. I plan to be 3rd seat," the recruit blustered.

Madarame and Ayasegawa exchanged glances.

"No, Ikkaku. He's mine," Ayasegawa said. Returning his attention to the recruit he ordered, "Tell me your name, so I know the name of the person I kill today."

The recruit looked a little less sure of himself.

"You're a fool," Yachiru said. "You've got Pretty Boy annoyed and he's the 5th seat in a Division that loves to fight. Oooh. I have the perfect name for you. Too bad I won't be able to use it for long."

"So, what's the nickname?" Madarame asked.

"Piecrust, 'cause he's going to get broken," Yachiru replied.

Madarame shook his head. "What's that mean?"

"It's an adage, silly. You know the things that Ken-chan hates. Promises like piecrusts are meant to be broken. I wonder how many pieces Pretty Boy will break him into," Yachiru pondered.

In the shadows, Zaraki shuddered. Was he cursed with adages? Atonomatsuri was chortling in his mind.

"She used an adage, Kenny," she crowed. "Good words are like a string of pearls."

Zaraki ignored her.

"Get your zanpaku-to," Ayasegawa ordered "Piecrust, "and tell me your name quickly or I will think of you only as Piecrust."

The recruit stood there unsure what to do.

"Obey your superior officer. Tell him your name and get your zanpaku-to, now," Madarame said harshly.

"My name is Yuki Hisutanga," 'Piecrust' said and reluctantly went to the wall where his zanpaku-to rested.

"Don't kill him," Madarame said quietly to Ayasegawa.

Ayasegawa smiled maliciously. "Why, do you want a chance to kill him? He is after your seat."

"You can kill him, if you want," Zaraki said emerging from the shadows.

"Captain! How long have you been there?" Ayasegawa asked.

"Long enough. Get that other weakling back to the Academy. He's out of 11th Division," Zaraki said indicating the prone form of the other recruit. "I don't want to hear any excuses. You pass out in a real fight and you're dead. Maybe the Captain of the 12th Division needs a new experimental subject. Or maybe he can make himself useful in 4th. You and you, carry him," Zaraki said picking two recruits at random.

Without hesitation the two recruits grabbed their fallen comrade and rushed out of the training ground.

Yuki now made his way back carrying his zanpaku-to uncertainly.

"Make a fighting square," Madarame ordered the other recruits.

The recruits shuffled into a semblance of a fighting square. Zaraki raised an eyebrow. These people were hopeless.

Ayasegawa happily unsheathed his zanpaku-to.

"It is only polite to tell you the name of the person who is going to kill you," he announced. "My name is Yumichika Ayasegawa," he said to Yuki. "Now fight."

Yuki lunged forward, trying for a killing blow. Ayasegawa knocked the attack out of the way, yawning, one hand hiding his mouth. Yuki tried to take advantage of the yawn by trying a side slash. Ayasegawa dodged while looking at his nails. Not prepared for the quick movement, Yuki carried on past Ayasegawa.

"I'm over here," called Ayasegawa. "Did you actually study fighting at the Academy, or did you hide during the classes? So far you haven't even waited for me to attack once. How can you judge my abilities if you haven't seen how I move?"

"I did attend the classes," Yuki objected.

"I bet you spent more time studying kido," said Madarame.

Yuki tried another tack and used his sheathe and zanpaku-to at the same time.

Ayasegawa blinked. "I think he's trying to steal your moves, Ikkaku," he said as he easily dodged.

By this time the two recruits had returned and were watching the display with interest. Zaraki was amused at how Ayasegawa was playing with the idiot. Piecrust was a good name for him.

A few more attacks by Yuki did not get close to Ayasegawa as he moved smoothly out of the way each time. He hadn't used his zanpaku-to once to deflect an attack.

"I'm bored now," Ayasegawa said loudly. With two quick strokes he cut a Y on the recruits" chest, destroying his shirt in the process. The wounds started bleeding immediately. Yuki dropped his zanpaku-to and clutched his chest unbelievingly, looking at the blood pouring out between his fingers.

"Don't worry, you won't die," Ayasegawa said. "I didn't cut you deeply enough. You will have a pretty scar. It might improve your appearance. Madarame I think we need to work on these recruits. They are lazy and badly trained."

"I agree," said Zaraki. "I couldn't get any fun out of them."

Madarame looked at Yachiru. "Up for training tomorrow?"

"Yep," she said happily. "Do I get a chance to fight?"

"I don't think it's a good idea," said Zaraki. "You might kill one of them by accident."

Yachiru giggled.

Zaraki addressed the recruits. "Go back to your barracks. Training will begin at 7.30 am tomorrow. I will be attending and if you don't work at it, you will be fighting me, not Ayasegawa or Madarame and I'm not as kind as they are. Madarame and Ayasegawa will be showing you how to fight by demonstrating, so I suggest you watch them closely. Piecrust, I mean Hisutanga, go to 4th Division and get those cuts attended to. You can go by yourself. You're hardly injured. You will be attending training tomorrow."

Yuki looked disbelievingly at Zaraki, his mouth gaping.

"Get out of my sight," Zaraki barked at him. "You're lucky I'm not sending you back to the Academy."

Yuki retrieved his zanpaku-to and left holding his chest and shaking his head. The rest of the recruits retrieved their zanpaku-to's and moved in the general direction of their barracks. They moved slowly as if they were tired and sore.

Once all the recruits had left, Madarame asked the question Zaraki expected. "What happened with the Captain-General?"

Three pairs of eyes stared intensely at Zaraki.

"Are you going to tell them?" Atonomatsuri asked eagerly. "Whatever is in the heart will come up to the tongue."

"He wanted to know how I was injured," Zaraki said.

There was silence as Madarame, Ayasegawa and Yachiru waited for him to continue.

"I told him," Zaraki finally said.

More expectant silence.

"Hell, let's go to my office. I need a drink," Zaraki sighed.

Once they were settled in the office, Zaraki poured himself a cup of sake and passed the bottle to Madarame. Yachiru started eating some food she kept stashed in Zaraki's desk while slurping some water.

Zaraki drank his sake in one gulp and rubbed his uncovered eye.

"I'm changing the direction of 11th Division," he announced.

Three faces showed various emotions, surprise, fear and interest.

"I will be encouraging all of 11th Division to find out the names of their zanpaku-to's and to develop their skills with them. I want all the people in my division to be able to be able to release their zanpaku-to's."

Yachiru looked confused. "Why Ken-chan?"

"The traitors could attack anytime. We have to be as strong as possible," Zaraki replied.

"So, what's your zanpaku-to's name?" Madarame asked innocently.

"Atonomatsuri," Zaraki replied directly.

His three subordinates looked at Zaraki surprised. He could see the questions they wanted to ask, but they restrained themselves.

"That's a funny name, Ken-chan," Yachiru said, simply.

"Yeah, well, I didn't choose it," Zaraki replied.

"How long have you known the name?" Ayasegawa asked.

"Not long. And no, I have not achieved bankai. Madarame, I want you in the training ground tomorrow at 5.00 am. I want to see what happens when I call its name and get second release. It would be better if I have someone there who knows about release and control. Yachiru and Ayasegawa, stay away. I'm not sure of the power of the thing."

"I'm not a thing," Atonomatsuri screeched outraged. "

Zaraki shook his head to clear it from her voice.

"Is everything okay, Ken-chan?" Yachiru asked.

"Yeah. I just keep thinking of something else. You might hear a few stories about how I got hurt. If you want the truth, ask me. I don't want to talk about it unless I have to. It's not important now. You can let the others know about the new rules," Zaraki said.

"I've had an idea about the training. Everyone will train together tomorrow. I'll match the recruits to the experienced fighters and that way they can get individual training. I'll take Piecrust," said Madarame with a malicious grin. "He wants to be third seat. Let him try. He'll end up back at the Academy. I'll work him so hard that he'll be vomiting blood."

Ayasegawa suggested, "Why don't you make an announcement before everyone begins training, Captain, about the new direction? You know everyone prefers to hear the idea directly from you. That way no one will question whether the order is directly from you."

"I hate making friggin' speeches," Zaraki groaned as he poured another cup of sake and drank it as quickly as the first and then poured another. Passing the sake to Madarame he noticed his expression.

"Ur, Captain. Are we playing a drinking game? If so, it's going to be a bit hard to get up at 5.00. You know the games always get a bit out of hand and I hate fighting with a hangover," Madarame said cautiously.

Zaraki frowned. "What are you trying to say? That I'm drinking too much?"

"You drink too much," Atonomatsuri whispered in his mind. "In vino veritas."

Zaraki closed his eyes. "Latin, now," he thought. "In wine is truth." Without opening his eyes he drained his third cup of sake.

"I drink what I like, I think what I like, I act however I freakin' well like. Don't pretend you can get me to do anything," Zaraki said loudly, directing his comment at Atonomatsuri.

He opened his eyes and saw the reaction of his three friends.

"What's the problem, Ken-chan? Baldy wasn't trying to tell you how to act," Yachiru said.

"The more you drink, the louder I become. Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power. Keep drinking, Kenny, and I will talk even more."

Zaraki reluctantly put down his cup. "Want to play cards?" he asked, not wishing to be alone. If he was alone, Atonomatsuri might decide it was the perfect chance for another prolonged insult and adage session.

"Only if Yachiru doesn't cheat," Ayasegawa said, getting to his feet and fetching the cards.

"I don't cheat. I'm just very good at playing cards. You still owe me for the last game. Where are the buns you promised?"

"That's a good idea," Zaraki said suddenly realising he was hungry. "Fetch some buns. A lot of buns. And some beer and sake. Anything else you want, Madarame, Yachiru?"

"Lollies. Lots of lollies," Yachiru said.

"Be reasonable, Yachiru," Zaraki instructed her.

"Okay, sweet buns," she compromised.

"Lots of food. Yeah," Madarame said. "I forgot about lunch because of the training."

Ayasegawa put the cards down, placed his hands on his hips and scowled at those still seated. "Why am I getting the food?"

"Because you lost at cards, Pretty Boy," Yachiru said reasonably. "The person, who loses at cards, gets the food next time. You know the rules. Hurry up. I'm hungry."

"How am I supposed to carry all the food and drink?"

"Get someone to help. I'm too comfortable to move," said Madarame stretching out and sipping his sake.

"I'll come," offered Yachiru, "as long as you let me choose my buns. Don't forget, you're paying."

For a moment it appeared Ayasegawa was going to make a foolish mistake and decline Yachiru's offer. On looking at her determined expression, he said "Let's go then."

Watching them leave, Zaraki poured himself another cup of sake. This time he just sipped it gently. He knew that this would not be a pause, but a subtle interrogation.

"What really happened, Captain?" Madarame asked his voice soft, but serious.

"When?" Zaraki replied.

Madarame paused and from his frown, Zaraki knew that he was considering which question he wanted answered first.

"How did you find out the name of your zanpaku-to?" Madarame finally ventured.

"I asked," Zaraki replied laconically.

Madarame bit his lip. "We've known each other a long time, Captain. I'm just surprised. I can't fault your reasoning that we all need to be stronger. What happened when you said your zanpaku-to's name."

"The physical manifestation appeared, of course," Zaraki replied. He knew his replies were causing Madarame frustration. He could handle it.

Madarame's knuckles went white as he clenched his hands. His frustration was obviously beginning to affect him.

"Madarame, I am your Captain. I won't explain myself to you. Maybe I'll tell you, maybe not, but not today. Talking about it bores the blood out of me. See what happens tomorrow. Or do you want to talk about how you achieved bankai."

Madarame's expression was frozen. He quickly glanced at Zaraki and then looked at his hands.

"I've know for some time. Do you think I'm a fool who isn't aware of his officers" abilities? You did a good job of concealing it, but not good enough," Zaraki continued.

Madarame swallowed convulsively. "What are you going to do, Captain?"

"You've got a damned short memory. Didn't you hear me say we need to develop our skills with our zanpaku-to's? You have. I'm relying on you to help me. I bet you still can't beat me in a fight, even if you use bankai," Zaraki said grinning.

"Don't bet on it, Captain," Madarame smiled back, relief showing in his posture.

"Stop running. You'll drop the sake," Ayasegawa's voice came from outside.

Yachiru burst in, her hands full. Ayasegawa followed bringing more packages.

"I managed to persuade her to allow me to buy some savoury buns," Ayasegawa stated loudly.

Yachiru poked her tongue out at him. "You're no fun." She thrust a bag at Zaraki. "I got your favourites, Ken-chan. At least I think they're your favourites. If you don't like them, I'll eat them."

Zaraki took the bag from her and inspected the contents. "Amazing. They are savoury. Come on; let's eat while we play cards. What game tonight?"

"Canasta?" suggested Ayasegawa.

"That's a wussy game. I want to play Poker," said Yachiru.

"Not Poker," exclaimed Madarame and Ayasegawa together.

"You always cheat at Poker," Madarame accused Yachiru. "We haven't played Five Hundred for a while.

"We'll play Hearts," Zaraki said dealing the cards. "Ten games only. We need to get up early tomorrow."

After losing every hand but two, Madarame agreed that he would supply the food next time.

After leaving the office, Zaraki reflected on how quiet Atonomatsuri had been.

As if thinking about her triggered her attention, Zaraki heard her voice in his mind. "You're actually going to summon me, in front of someone else? Wonders will never cease."

"Madarame might understand this whole thing better than I do. If he has achieved bankai, he'll understand about this whole release thing and how to control the blade's size. I know I can control it in its normal form, but this new version is different. I wonder if it's a different way to compress reiatsu," he thought.

"Maybe you should wear two eye patches, Kenny," Atonomatsuri suggested nastily.

Zaraki ignored her comment. How could he fight with two eye patches? That was a typical irritating comment from the equally irritating vulture.

Sleep came quickly after he pointed out to Atonomatsuri that her "helpful" hints and suggestions might influence him to change his mind about summoning her.

The dreams he experienced that night did not make for restful slumber. Again he was in his mind, but a mind vastly improved. As quickly as it appeared, the image of his mind faded and he found he was fighting a hollow in an unfamiliar desert area. This hollow was unlike any he had fought before. The size was greater than any he had seen. The reiatsu of the creature was superior to that he had experienced before, and it knew how to fight. He found himself removing his eye patch as he grappled with the creature. The mask completely concealed the hollow's face, but for some reason he felt he knew the person trapped within the hollow he was fighting. Sometimes the hollow appeared to be able to anticipate his moves and was already counter-attacking before he had commenced the attack. Zaraki backtracked and quickly changed his strategy. The hollow still appeared to have an edge on him.

The hollow lashed out at him and reopened the cut he had on his face. He felt the burn of the slash and the sting of blood as it welled to the surface. Zaraki dashed the blood from his eye as he desperately fought back. The hollow must be destroyed. It was a vile being that did not deserve even this half existence.

The fight was fierce. The hollow charged Zaraki and the force of the blow made Zaraki stagger. Knocking Zaraki from his feet, the hollow poised to deliver the death blow. Before it did, the hollow raised its head and howled in victory. The noise seemed to rend the sky and break the ground on which Zaraki lay

Zaraki awoke, sweating. What the hell was happening with his dreams? Two nights now he'd had dreams of fighting. When he won against Tosen he was told he had lost. Tonight it looked as if he had lost to a hollow.

"Maybe my mind is taking revenge and sending these dreams. That hollow was different. If the arrancar are that strong I should start intense training with Atonomatsuri. I want to cut the arrancar's and kill Aizen. I want to kill the lot of them and then Seireitei can return to normal."

Deciding that sleep would only bring more bad dreams, Zaraki looked at the time. 4.30 am. Time to prepare for the training with Madarame. Rising from the bed, Zaraki decided to put the dreams from his mind.

"Might be the result of all this bloody thinking. My mind is now throwing anything it can at me, whenever it can. I don't remember having dreams like this for years. Have I had dreams like this before?"

Zaraki stood, contemplating his last thought. Was it true? Had he dreamed like this before? He searched his memory. Vague memories of strange dreams returned to him. The dreams slowly ceased once he met and named Yachiru and told her his name. He still did not know why he originally took care of the kid. Sure he was glad he had, now, but he still had trouble tracing the original impulse. A child had no place with a fighter like him.

Shrugging away the memories, Zaraki prepared for the fight. After the usual struggle to place the last bell, Zaraki went to the training ground. The lights were on, but Madarame was not there. Zaraki tapped his hand against his thigh. Should he wait, or go and drag his third seat out of bed? Deciding on the latter course of action, Zaraki was just about to do so when Madarame appeared, yawning and scratching his head.

"Friggin' early for training, Captain," he grumbled.

"I know how early it is. Are you awake?"

Madarame rubbed his face. "Not yet." He went over to the water buts and doused his head with the water. "Cold," he commented as he threw more water over his head. He shook the water off and rubbed his face again. "I'm awake now," he announced.

"About time," Zaraki remarked dryly.

"What do you want to do first?" Madarame asked.

"I'm willing to listen to your suggestion," Zaraki replied.

Madarame shook his head. "You aren't easy with this, are you Captain?"

"What's your suggestion?" Zaraki said ignoring the question. "I suppose you'll just tell me to say the name. It's not that simple." He drew his zanpaku-to.

"Yawn, Atonomatsuri," he said loudly.

After the wind blew, he was holding the extraordinarily ugly blade.

Madarame stared. Zaraki could see he wanted to comment.

"Don't bother to comment. I know it's ugly and pink in parts. I can't change that, but I need to control the size of the thing."

"Yes, I can see that. Can you even lift it?"

Zaraki tried and managed to lift it off the ground.

"I'm impressed, Captain. You know you could build up your strength…." Madarame's words faded as he realised what he was saying and to whom.

"You were saying, Third Seat?" Zaraki said sardonically.

"Nothing."

"I will try to increase my strength, but I want this thing a more normal size," Zaraki said.

"I am not a thing!" Atonomatsuri said, piqued again. "I advised you to wear two eye patches. That would have made it simpler. A fool never listens to reason unless reason follows the fools" thoughts."

"Shut up," Zaraki said aloud.

"Captain?" Madarame said curiously.

"Not you," Zaraki snapped.

"Does your zanpaku-to talk to you?" Madarame asked hesitantly.

"Yeah. Too often. I'm sick of the sound of her voice."

"You don't have to talk aloud to answer it. Just think at it," Madarame's voice was uncertain. "I had trouble at first when I was talking to mine."

"Thanks for the hint," Zaraki said sarcastically.

"Kenny, the poor bald man is trying to help you. Be kind. Every person you meet is fighting a hard battle," Atonomatsuri chuckled.

Zaraki opened his mouth, preparing to retort and then shut it with a snap. "Enough with the adages," he thought at Atonomatsuri.

"I'm not giving up adages, Kenny. Not for you, not for anyone. The cask can only yield the wine it contains. It's almost a pity Madarame had to tell you how to talk to me. I enjoyed watching you making a bigger fool of yourself than normal," Atonomatsuri observed chuckling.

Zaraki ignored her comments and looked at Madarame. "Now, tell me. How do I control my reiatsu so I can control the size of this thin….the blade?"

Madarame looked at Zaraki and then at the zanpaku-to and started to slowly shake his head.

"Why can't anything be simple?" Zaraki thought.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

Thank you for the reviews. I enjoy reading them. The support is appreciated.

Why was Yamamoto so harsh to Zaraki in the last chapter? Yamamoto appears in the manga as a very strict disciplinarian. It is highly possible he lied to Rukia when he granted her last request that her friends would be returned to the human world unharmed. He is prepared to fight two of his captains for their insubordination when they destroyed the Sokyoku. He ordered Renji be killed for trying to save Rukia. _Slight spoiler alert_: In the online manga it is implied that he is not averse to getting other people to use force in order to gain obedience to his orders. As he is the person who set up Seireitei in the first place it is highly probable that he would need to be diplomatic but also ruthless when the occasion demanded it. That was the reasoning I used when writing the last chapter. I am aware that the reasoning may be flawed. Still, I think Yamamoto is a fascinating character.

I know I used the piecrust quote earlier with Atonomatsuri. I just wanted to make Yachuri use it again because it amused me.

I'm not sure whether 'Piecrust' will appear again. He's not as much fun as Atonomatsuri, but a stupid, arrogant jerk can be useful sometimes. Maybe Atonomatsuri would like to play with him.

In the manga Yumichika calls Madarame as Ikkaku. I decided to follow that convention.

I know there was a delay in the update. The reasons are many and varied and mostly tedious. Life sometimes interrupts my writing. Sometimes writing interrupts my life.

Please review.

MS


	15. Seized Opportunity

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters, except for Atonomatsuri and 'Piecrust' who are my creations. _

**Seized Opportunity**

"It's hard to explain, Captain. You've never tried to control your reiatsu before. Maybe if you do something that drains your spirit energy," Madarame suggested.

"Any suggestions?" Zaraki asked heavily.

"I told you. Two eye patches," Atonomatsuri repeated.

"I'm tired of that particular joke," he said to her mentally. Then he realised he knew something that would suppress his reiatsu. "How do a get a sample of your poison?" he asked. "Is there some in the blade, or do you have to appear?"

"Dear me. Thinking again are you Kenny? There is plenty of sound in an empty barrel. The blade does carry some poison. If you press the third skull a small stiletto will emerge. The stiletto is poisoned."

"You actually answered? You didn't make me go through twenty kinds of hell to get an answer?" Zaraki asked Atonomatsuri.

"I promised I'd give a sample to Retsu, which I guess you wish to do. If you want respect, show others you respect them. I like Retsu," Atonomatsuri replied.

"I think we might make a visit to Captain Unohana," Zaraki told Madarame.

"At this hour?" Madarame asked.

"Yes, now. I don't want to wait hours until it's a reasonable time, unless you want me to cut you so I have a valid reason for waking her," Zaraki suggested.

Madarame paled. "No, thanks. Not with that blade."

"Then why are you hesitating? Come on." Zaraki paused to will his blade back to its normal state.

He set off at a brisk pace toward 4th Division. Madarame had to run to keep up.

When they arrived, the shinigami on duty appeared reluctant to wake Retsu. After a few 4th Division shinigami were reminded how Zaraki gained his reputation, Retsu emerged to see what was causing the commotion.

"Zaraki? What are you doing? Why did you punch Iemura? He has a black eye. Why are you attacking my people?" Retsu asked bluntly.

Zaraki felt himself flush. "Ur, sorry Retsu. I asked nicely, but no one would fetch you. I lost my temper. Iemura was being particularly painful. He looked scared, and then he dithered when I asked him to wake you. It irritated me so I punched him. I didn't try to cut him."

Retsu looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Asked nicely?" she questioned.

Madarame covered his mouth with his hand to hide a smile.

"I asked, okay?"

"I heard you asking in my sleep. Your "asking nicely" woke me. The asking sounded more like the demands of an elderly angry walrus, than someone asking nicely," Retsu replied.

Zaraki glared at Retsu. "I don't sound like a walrus. I asked nicely. Madarame tell her," He turned to look at his third seat that had turned away from Zaraki.

"Madarame, answer me," Zaraki said.

"He's laughing, but he's trying to hide it," Atonomatsuri observed. "I think you sounded like an angry walrus. Maybe he does too. A statement once let loose cannot be caught by four horses."

Zaraki sighed angrily. "I'll ignore your comment, Retsu. I need to talk to you, privately."

Retsu looked at Zaraki as if considering his request and then nodded slowly. She held the door open and gestured for Zaraki to follow her.

"Stay here Madarame. We'll talk about this later," Zaraki ordered.

Zaraki followed Retsu into her office. "Please sit down, Captain," she said, seating herself behind her desk.

"Damn it, Retsu. What are you so formal? I thought we were friends," Zaraki commented.

"Friends? Perhaps. But you were not acting in a friendly manner to my people," Retsu stated.

"Tell them not to irritate me and I won't punch anyone," Zaraki replied.

"If you treat everybody courteously, it will surprise you how courteous they all become," Atonomatsuri said.

Zaraki ignored her comment.

"I am also not pleased by the number of your recruits who ended up here yesterday. I believe that one is no longer your recruit. He's still here, suffering from exhaustion. I understand he is being transferred to the 13th Division. A few others recruits came, complaining of exhaustion and sore feet. The recruit suffering from the "Y" shaped cut. What's his name, Yuki? He propositioned Isane and was rather unpleasant when he was rejected. Due to an "accidental injection" he's still here under sedation. Would you please arrange for someone to fetch him before he awakens?" Retsu asked.

"That idiot. Yachiru has given him the nickname of "Piecrust" after he insulted Ayasegawa. Piecrust's an arrogant jerk. I'll get someone to take him back and dump him in some water," Zaraki replied.

"Well, Captain. What was so important that you disturbed my division so early?" Retsu asked pointedly.

"I have a sample of the poison that you wanted. I wanted to give it to you," Zaraki explained.

Retsu stared at Zaraki, an incredulous expression on her face, "You woke me for that?"

"Yeah. Is that a problem?" Zaraki asked.

Retsu picked up a pen and tapped it on the desk. "You could have waited until a reasonable hour. There was no need to attack anyone for this."

"Okay. There's another reason. I need a weakened dose of it so I can lessen my reiatsu," Zaraki explained reluctantly.

"Now it is becoming clear. It is for a personal reason, rather than an altruistic purpose. Why do you need to control your reiatsu?"

"My blade is too big," Zaraki said.

Retsu's lips twitched. "Your blade is too big," she repeated.

Zaraki scowled. He hated it when people repeated his words. It seemed probable that Retsu was trying not to smile. What was so funny about a big blade?

"If I can suppress my reiatsu, the blade will be smaller. I don't know how to control my reiatsu. As we know, the poison suppresses reiatsu. If I get a small dose of the poison, the blade will be smaller," he reasoned.

Retsu moved back in her chair and thought for a moment before speaking. "You finally decided to summon your zanpaku-to again?"

"It's only been a day! I'm taking your advice. I need to train with it, but it's too big and bloody heavy."

"Hmn. Where's the sample?"

Zaraki looked at his zanpaku-to and remembered he'd willed it back to its normal form. "It might be better if I went outside to get the sample," he said uneasily.

"Or you could say my name," Atonomatsuri said reasonably.

"I'm not falling for that," Zaraki replied mentally. "I don't want you to use that barb on me again."

"I won't Kenny. Come on, show me to Retsu. The Gods cannot help those who do not seize opportunities," Atonomatsuri chortled.

Zaraki thought about allowing Retsu, or anyone, to see Atonomatsuri. He shook his head. The description was bad enough. The reality would be worse.

"There's a private courtyard just through there," Retsu said indicating a door.

Zaraki went outside and after a short while returned, carrying the transformed zanpaku-to. Retsu stared at the blade, her eyes wide and her mouth open. She walked around the desk to look closer.

"I'm sorry for doubting you earlier, Zaraki. That blade is too big. I'd be surprised if anyone else could carry it, let alone lift it. Where's the poison?"

Zaraki felt a sense of relief that she had not made any comments on the decorations on the guard and hilt of the zanpaku-to. He pressed a skull, but nothing happened.

"The third skull, Kenny. That's the fourth. The sieve says to the needle: You have a hole in your head," cackled Atonomatsuri.

Zaraki pushed the correct skull and a small stiletto was released.

"This should be coated with the poison," Zaraki said handing the stiletto carefully to Retsu.

She took it from him gingerly, careful not to touch the blade. "I've never seen or heard of a zanpaku-to with a concealed stiletto," she remarked. "Do you wish to wait here? Or would you prefer for me to send for you when I have finished my tests?"

"I was hoping I could watch you do the work," Zaraki said.

"That's not a good idea. It may take some time and I need to concentrate. Also, if you stay here it may alert a certain other captain that you have provided a sample of the poison. I'll just take this away and remove the poison so I can return the stiletto. Wait here, please Captain Zaraki," Retsu requested, as she left the room.

She quickly returned and handed the stiletto back to Zaraki who replaced it in his zanpaku-to and willed the blade back to its normal state.

Zaraki looked at the time. It was nearly 7.15. "Thank you. I'll be waiting to hear from you, Captain Unohana," he said addressing her formally in return. "I have training that I need to supervise."

"Don't forget to take your recruit," Retsu reminded him.

"I wonder what upset her," Zaraki mused as he left the building.

Madarame was idly annoying some of the members of 4th Division by making observations about how weak they were in comparison to 11th Division. Zaraki knew he was tying to incite one of them to fight him, but none of them seemed inclined to take umbrage at his words.

"Go and collect that fool we sent here yesterday," Zaraki ordered Madarame. "I want him training today. It's nearly time."

"He's still here? I didn't think Yumichika had hurt him that much," Madarame said, surprised.

Zaraki looked at him. "From now on he's called Piecrust and he's an idiot. They sedated him. I want you to work him really hard today. Make sure he fails at everything. I want him to leave 11th Division voluntarily. That will make it harder for him to get accepted anywhere else. He should never have been admitted to the Academy. Arrogant jerks, which have an inflated opinion of their own abilities, have no place in protecting people. They make mistakes and only seek personal advancement."

Madarame nodded and entered the building. When he returned he had the jerk slung over his shoulder. "Still sleeping," he said. "I'll have to wake the moron up before I can get to work on him."

They walked quickly back to the training ground. When they arrived Zaraki was satisfied to see that most of the division were there awaiting training. Ayasegawa smiled when he saw Madarame carrying Piecrust.

Madarame dumped Piecrust in a water barrel and he awoke with a yell.

"What're you doing," Piecrust yelled, his eyes shut tight.

"Time for training, Piecrust," Zaraki said meaningfully.

"Don't call me Piecrust. My name is Yuki or sir, and don't tell me it's time for training. I'm not well. I got wounded yesterday," Piecrust said as he opened his eyes. Seeing who he had addressed in that manner, he went pale and quickly removed himself from the water barrel.

Zaraki had instinctively moved his hand to the hilt of zanpaku-to at the insult.

"Defend and one has a surplus.

Attack and one is insufficient," Atonomatsuri said quietly.

"Another adage. Wait that's not an adage. Quoting: _The Art of War_? Why now?" Zaraki asked mentally.

"Don't attack the idiot. He's not worth the effort and he would be no fun for you. The mood you're in you'd kill him. Not a good idea. Let Madarame play with him. He's been watching him like a cat watches a mouse," Atonomatsuri reasoned.

Zaraki stepped back and drew a deep breath. He then addressed Piecrust with heavy emphasis. "You will be fighting today. I have been assured that the wound is nearly healed already. I will call you whatever I wish, and at present I think you're lucky to be called Piecrust. I can think of better names to describe you, you worthless piece of meat."

Madarame, Ayasegawa and Yachiru looked at Zaraki disbelievingly. He could see they were wondering why Piecrust was not dead at Zaraki's hand for his foolish words.

"I believe you wanted to attend to Piecrusts" training personally, Madarame," Zaraki grinned wolfishly at his third seat.

Madarame returned his grin and nodded with understanding.

"First, I think you and Ayasegawa should display your fighting skills, so the recruits can understand the level they should try to achieve."

Zaraki then addressed his Division, "Before you watch the demonstration, I have some news for all of you. From now on I want you to learn the name of your zanpaku-to's. I want you to learn to release it and try to increase your skill with using it as much as possible. We have a threat before us unlike any we have encountered before. We need to employ any means possible to increase our strength. If that means talking to your zanpaku-to, then that is the way we will progress."

"You must modify your dreams or magnify your skills," Atonomatsuri said.

"You must modify your dreams or magnify your skills," Zaraki said automatically and then realizing what he had said cursed under his breath.

"Damn the vulture. Now she's got me saying the dratted adages," he thought angrily.

"We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden," Atonomatsuri said laughing, triumphantly. "I got you to repeat me, Kenny. I actually managed to get you to utter an adage in front of all these people."

"Shut it, carcase. I'm not interested in your adages. They're just tired ideas repeated too often," Zaraki told Atonomatsuri.

He looked at his Division. He found all the members staring at him with the exception of Ayasegawa, Madarame and Yachiru. Their faces showed a variety of expressions: fear, excitement, surprise. He didn't care. They should accept his decision. He was their Captain.

"If you have trouble with the change, then leave," Zaraki barked, annoyed. "You have five minutes."

No one left. They remained standing at attention.

"You've been warned," Zaraki said. "Form a fighting square and we'll watch the third and fifth seat fight." He addressed Ayasegawa and Madarame, "You two don't hold back. I want to see how much you've improved since I last watched. I want the recruits to see how real members of 11th Division fight. Don't release your zanpaku-to's; just fight straight. I want these recruits to understand that they need to fight properly before they try advanced moves."

Madarame and Ayasegawa nodded and drew their zanpaku-to's.

"Ikkaku, try not to dirty my uniform," Ayasegawa said.

"Try to stay away from my blade," Madarame replied.

"I've never had trouble before," Ayasegawa said evading the Madarames's first pass.

"How long has it been since we sparred?" Madarame asked feinting to the left and attacking with his right hand.

"About a month I think," Ayasegawa said trying to get past Madarame's scabbard with a side swipe, and failing.

"Less talking, more sweating," Zaraki instructed them.

"Okay, Captain. Just remembering his moves," Madarame said evading a lunge.

"I'm insulted. How could you ever forget my moves? I never forget yours," Ayasegawa complained kicking at Madarame's foot while stabbing downward. Madarame evaded both moves, just.

"Get serious," Zaraki commanded them.

They locked blades, pushing hard against each other, trying to force the other one back. Neither would budge.

"Get on with it," Zaraki said. "Fight each other. Stop trying to push each other back. Anyone can do that."

They broke from the impasse. Ayasegawa spun around and quickly dodged the scabbard that Madarame aimed at his shoulder, but did not move quite fast enough to escape the cut from the zanpaku-to's blade.

"You cut my uniform," Ayasegawa said. "That's even worse than making it dirty! Who's going to repair it?"

"That's your problem, isn't it?" Madarame laughed. Taking advantage of Ayasegawa's apparent agitation, he closed with him quickly, lashing out fast with his zanpaku-to and scabbard.

Ayasegawa evaded both blows without raising his zanpakuto. "You thought I wasn't paying attention, didn't you? You should know me better than that," he said pettishly.

"Are you even trying?" Zaraki said, frustrated at their conversation. "Do you want me to join in?"

Ayasegawa and Madarame finally began to concentrate on the fight. The recruits watched every move, some of them open-mouthed with astonishment. They had obviously not viewed a demonstration of fighting skill before. Some of the more experienced members of the Division seemed to be murmuring to each other. Zaraki would not have been surprised to hear that some bets were being made about the eventual outcome of this fight.

Madarame and Ayasegawa were now trying to outdo each other. It was impressive to watch the feints, the stabbing blows, the side swipes. Neither was prepared to give in.

"That's enough for now," Zaraki said.

They ignored him, because at that point Madarame snuck through Ayasegawa's guard and had his blade pointed at his friend's throat.

"My fight, I believe," Madarame said smiling widely.

Ayasegawa swallowed. "This time. You were just lucky. I could have won so many times."

"In your dreams, perhaps," Madarame said.

"I think we might need another demonstration," Zaraki interrupted. "Madarame and Ayasegawa will be matching each recruit with an experienced member of 11th Division for sparring." He waited for the murmuring to die down. "It is the responsibility of the experienced member to train the recruits. Those who are not matched with a recruit will be matched with someone who has a technique that might be useful to learn. Madarame will show you how to begin training the recruits."

Madarame wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Piecrust, come here. You are the recruit assigned to me."

Zaraki almost laughed at the expression on Piecrust's face. He looked horrified. He was shaking his head.

"Can't I be matched to someone else?" Piecrust quavered.

"Are you disobeying a direct order from a superior?" Ayasegawa asked with feigned shock. "Didn't you learn your lesson yesterday?"

Piecrust was shaking his head. "You're picking on me," he whined, "just because I said I wanted to be third seat."

"Think of it as an opportunity," Zaraki said casually. "If you can defeat Madarame, I might consider making you third seat in his place."

Madarame smiled at Zaraki.

"Can I use kido?" Piecrust asked hopefully.

Zaraki glanced at Madarame who nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah, sure, but 11th Division doesn't use kido, normally. Just this once you can use it. If you beat Madarame, you can continue to use it."

Most of the experienced members of 11th Division were smiling, some were openly laughing at Piecrust's request.

"But if you use kido, then Madarame can use it, if he so decides. Got to be fair about this," Zaraki said.

Piecrust's face fell, but then he brightened. "You said 11th Division don't use kido, didn't you?" he asked.

"I said, normally," Zaraki replied.

Piecrust nodded, his eyes glittering with anticipation.

"On my command you can start," Zaraki said.

Piecrust moved to the middle of the fighting square, unsheathing his zanpaku-to. He smiled pityingly at Madarame. "I'll be kind to you when I'm third seat," he assured Madarame.

"I don't give a monkeys' curse what you do when you're third seat," Madarame said.

"Commence," Zaraki commanded.

Piecrust tried to deliver an initial blow at Madarame, but Madarame swayed out of his way. Piecrust was muttering under his breath, so Madarame hit him in the stomach with the hilt of his zanpaku-to

"You have to say the whole of the spell, if you want to use kido," Madarame explained to the doubled up recruit.

He waited patiently while Piecrust recovered.

Piecrust stood up straight and threw some dirt at Madarame who had expected this type of action.

"Not very imaginative," he said having evaded the move. "A dirty trick from a dirty cheat. Come on, Piecrust. Try actually fighting me. Show me some of your moves."

Piecrust rushed at Madarame with his scabbard and zanpaku-to. A blow rang out and Piecrust's scabbard when flying through the air.

"Binding spell the first: SAI," Piecrust mumbled quickly.

Madarame moved aside and Piecrust found he had bound another recruit, not his intended target.

"Binding spell the first: SAI," Madarame said.

Zaraki laughed, watching Piecrust fall to the ground, caught by Madarame's spell.

"I told you that 11th Division doesn't normally use kido," he explained to the fallen recruit. "You seem to believe your own lies rather than face reality. Release him Madarame. Fight him again."

Madarame countered the spell and Piecrust staggered to his feet.

"Here, Yumichika, catch!" said Madarame as he threw his zanpaku-to to his friend. "I'm going to give this idiot a fighting chance. I'll only use my scabbard."

Piecrust looked hopeful and rushed at Madarame, wielding both his blade and scabbard again. Madarame deflected both and hit his attacker on the head with a clenched fist.

"Do you even know how to guard?" Madarame asked curiously. "Are you sure you graduated from the Academy?"

"Graduated at the bottom of the Academy," a voice called from the fighting square. "He was told he should join 4th Division."

Piecrust spun in the direction of the voice. "That's not true," he yelled angrily. "I wasn't in last place. I am a graduate of the Academy. Everyone there was jealous of my abilities. No one wanted to train me properly. I was always better than you."

Zaraki left the fighting square and walked up to Piecrust. "It doesn't matter what position you graduated in," he said firmly. "But you have to accept your limitations. You'll never be third seat unless you improve. From what I've seen in the last two days, your fighting skills are non-existent and you are unsuited for this Division."

"I can learn, can't I?" Piecrust asked hopefully. "Give me a chance, please Captain."

Zaraki scowled at him. He was about to order the recruit back to the Academy.

"Let me work on him," Madarame said, with a smirk on his face. "Remember our earlier conversation, Captain?"

Zaraki nodded. He wanted the jerk to leave of his own accord.

"Get on with the rest of the training," he ordered Madarame.

Madarame began to read a list of who was matched with whom. The division began to break up into sparring pairs.

Zaraki watched. He saw that the idea appeared to be working in the most part. When a recruit made a mistake, his partner would stop and explain the error, sometimes cuffing the recruit round the head if they repeated the same mistake. Watching Madarame and Piecrust, Zaraki noticed that while Madarame was working Piecrust hard, he was also trying to train him. It was wasted. No matter how many times Madarame showed Piecrust the right move, he kept repeating the mistake. It was almost as if he was doing it deliberately.

Zaraki called Madarame over. "I think he's trying to annoy you deliberately," he said in a low voice.

"I know he is. He keeps muttering insults under his breath about bald guys and third seats. I'm fed up with him. Let me cut him."

"Should we let Yachiru play with him? I think you'll kill him if you have to train him much longer," Zaraki suggested.

Just then a messenger arrived. "Captain Unohana has requested your presence, Captain Zaraki," she panted. "She says it's important."

"Madarame, I trust you to take the best action," Zaraki said as he left.

As he walked toward 4th Division, Zaraki mused on whether he should try training Piecrust himself. Maybe Atonomatsuri was right. He'd kill the idiot and it would be a waste of his time.

Once he arrived at 4th Division he was immediately shown to Retsu's office. She was seated behind the desk.

"You asked to see me, Captain," Zaraki said formally.

Retsu smiled at him. "Formal, are we Zaraki?"

"You were formal this morning. I thought you preferred formality," he replied.

"I'm never at my best when I've just woken up and find my Division in an uproar. You know how to make an impression, Zaraki," she chided him gently.

Zaraki flushed at the reminder. "Yeah, well, it won't happen again."

"Sit down, please," she invited him.

"Thanks. Do you have anything for me?"

"I received this note," she said pushing a piece of folded paper across the desk. "I think you should read it."

Zaraki read the note. Startled he read the note again. He looked at Retsu.

"I was interested in the information contained in the note. I am rather amused by the wording, but I think it's pretty clear. It seems I have a spy in 4th Division."

"How could Kurotsuchi obtain this information? Only you, Madarame and I knew why I was visiting you today," Zaraki said.

"But everyone in 4th Division knew that you visited me today, very early. As neither you, nor Madarame were wounded it was might seem suspicious to his devious mind. Maybe he is guessing, but all the same, the demand for a sample is there. It's rather a poor attempt at blackmail. He's threatening to tell the Captain-General about the assault on his person if he does not receive, what does he call it? Oh, yes. "His due". Strange terminology."

"What will you do?" Zaraki asked.

"I've sent him a sample, of the poison you provided this morning. One thing I didn't know is that the poison doesn't like prolonged exposure to the air. The sample I took this morning has turned into an inert liquid that shows no sign of poison. It's a little denser than water, but that's the only unusual quality. When I sent the sample to Captain Kurotsuchi I included a note informing him that this is the only sample I managed to obtain. As I had no other sample when I sent it, I wasn't lying. I managed to make a few findings, but I will need another sample. Is that possible?"

Zaraki nodded.

After providing another sample to Retsu, he made his farewells and left only to find Madarame waiting outside for him.

"Bad news I'm afraid, Captain," Madarame said, trying not to smile.

"What is it?"

"You made a suggestion before you left. I let Yachiru play with Piecrust," Madarame admitted.

Zaraki looked at him. "Don't tell me."

"He underestimated her. You know what happens when anyone does that. He insulted her. Told her to go and play with her dolls."

Zaraki drew in a shocked breath. "That fool. He judges by appearance, not through understanding."

"Yachiru enjoyed herself. She can be fast when she wishes. I had to bring him here because she cut him pretty badly. I think they've managed to stop the bleeding but it will take a while to stitch him up. I've been asked to stay around in case he causes any trouble. With any luck he might decide that 11th Division is not for him. Yumichika and Yachiru are supervising the rest of the training."

"I'll go back and watch," Zaraki said.

Zaraki wandered back to the training ground. How long would it be before he could start training? He was becoming impatient at the delays. He hoped Retsu could synthesise the poison quickly.

_Author's note:_

I couldn't resist torturing the jerk again. It was fun.

Thank you for reading this far and thank you especially to the people who review. I appreciate your comments. I may not always agree with them, but they often make me think a little harder.

A few things, I may not have made clear:

1. Zaraki has not reached Bankai. If he had he would say "Bankai", not "Yawn Atonomatsuri".

2. I know Zaraki's zanpaku-to is not sealed. I have mentioned this in previous author's notes and in some of the stories. As it is not sealed, my imagination ran wild and formulated the idea that instead of just saying Atonomatsuri's name, he had to use a special word which in this case is "Yawn", to make the blade change. In particular I was remembering that Renji says "Howl Zabimaru" when he's doing a particular type of attack. So do a number of other shinigami.

Please review.

MS


	16. Accusations and Explanations

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters except for Atonomatsuri and Piecrust who are my original creations._

**Accusations and Explanations**

Nearing the training ground, Zaraki heard raised voices. He increased the speed of his pace. He didn't want anyone else to end up at 4th Division today. He knew if they did, Retsu would not be pleased and he would have to explain.

Entering the training ground he saw Yachiru cleaning her zanpaku-to. She appeared to be concentrating. Ayasegawa was involved in an altercation with the assistant-captain from 12th Division, Nemu Kurotsuchi.

"Captain Kurotsuchi demands that Captain Zaraki attend him in his office immediately," Nemu was saying quietly, but with determination.

"Your captain has no right to make demands of the captain of 11th Division. If the matter is as important, as he believes, then your captain should be here, instead of sending a subordinate. Captain Zaraki is very busy at the moment and I don't know when he will return. I will give him your message later," Ayasegawa was saying heatedly.

Zaraki smiled to himself as he noticed Ayasegawa had taken the time to change his uniform and freshen up. The uniform he wore displayed no signs of the cuts inflicted by Madarame. Nemu was standing in front of Ayasegawa, her whole posture showing deference and reluctance with a slight touch of determination. Her eyes were cast down to the ground.

"Ken-chan does not respond to the orders of another captain," Yachiru observed brightly, "unless it's the Captain-General. Ken-chan won't bother with visiting Captain Clown anytime soon. He's busy."

Nemu reacted to the insult Yachiru had levelled at her captain. "You should address him as Captain Kurotsuchi," she said with a small display of pique.

"Why? He's not my captain. He's just weird. I'd hate for him to be my father. I'm lucky I've got Ken-chan. He treats me like a human being," Yachiru looked up and caught sight of her captain. "Hello, Ken-chan. She wants you to go visit her father. Yumichika has told her that you're too busy, but she won't go away."

Zaraki smiled at Yachiru, ignoring Nemu. "I warned you against playing with the recruits, Yachiru," he scolded slightly. "Now Piecrust is hurt and it may be some time before he returns."

Zaraki disregarded the slight cheer he heard from the Division as he said those words.

"Good," said Yachiru. "Madarame said I could play with Piecrust. Piecrust insulted me. It made me angry. He screamed like a member of 4th Division when I cut him, Ken-chan. He ran like a rabbit, squealing all the time. It was funny "cause he seemed to think he could escape me. Stupid Piecrust. When he's better, can I play with him again? I want to see how soon I can make him cry."

"He cried?" Zaraki asked, disgusted.

"Yep. Cried, howled, and begged me to stop. And he got my zanpaku-to all dirty. I'm cleaning it now. When is he coming back?" Yachiru asked.

"I don't know," Zaraki said.

"Excuse me, Captain Zaraki. Captain Kurotsuchi requests that you attend him immediately," Nemu said. She moved directly in front of Zaraki in an attempt to gain his attention.

"It's the Clown Captain's daughter," Atonomatsuri noted. "Blessed is she that expects nothing, for she shall never be disappointed. She only expects pain from her father, and she's never disappointed."

"Now it's requests, not demands," Zaraki observed wryly, acknowledging mentally Atonomatsuri's accuracy in her statement.

"I know your captain wishes to see me, but at present I'm too busy. Maybe later. If it helps, I'll get Ayasegawa to cut you a few times before you go back. If you go back hurt, Kurotsuchi might think you tried," Zaraki offered Nemu.

"Thank you captain, but I don't believe that will be necessary," Nemu said sadly.

A loud clanging prevented any further conversation. "All Captains. All Captains, Report immediately for an Emergency Officers" conference."

"Damn. Another of those time wasting meeting," Zaraki cursed. "Come on Yachiru. You'd better come with me. Ayasegawa, keep training the division for at least another hour. Get that lazy 4th seat to help you."

"May I accompany you, Captain Zaraki?" Nemu asked humbly.

"Yeah, sure, just don't expect me to carry you. You have to keep up," he replied.

Yachiru had taken up her accustomed position on his back. "I'm ready Ken-chan. Are you going to run very fast? I'll tell you which way to go," she offered, giggling.

"Not today. I have a feeling we should not be late this time. You can direct me on the way back. I'll run pretty fast, but slower than normal," Zaraki replied.

Zaraki set off with Nemu hurrying beside him. She knew the way well and as Zaraki had been there only the day before, they made good time.

"Go on Yachiru. Go join the other assistant captains. Have you got your badge? We'll talk later," Zaraki said once they arrived.

"I've got my badge. Okay Ken-chan. Try not to go to sleep," Yachiru chirped happily.

"I may even talk to Captain Kurotsuchi," Zaraki said to Nemu, who nodded sadly as she walked away.

Entering the Captain-General's office he noticed he was not the last to arrive. Retsu was already there and she nodded to him slightly as he came through the door. He took his position and tried to talk to the Captain beside him.

"What's the meeting about? What's the emergency this time? More ryoka?" Zaraki asked.

"I don't know. I thought you might know. You visited the Captain-General yesterday. I understand you were here for some time. Whatever it is, I'm sure, if the Captain-General called us here, it must be important," Captain Komamura responded.

"Yeah. I suppose so," Zaraki said and then stretched. "Hope it doesn't go too long."

"It will be as long as necessary," was all the response he received.

Zaraki looked at the other captains. Their ranks had thinned considerably since the defection of the traitors. Maybe the Captain-General was going to ask for possible candidates to fill the vacant positions. Another few captains arrived. The only absences were Kurotsuchi and the Captain General. They arrived together, a few minutes later.

The Captain-General took his accustomed position in front of the captains and spoke.

"Serious allegations have been made against two of our captains by another captain. In the interests of peace, I agreed to investigate the matter. Captain Zaraki, Captain Unohana, you have been accused of violence against Captain Kurotsuchi. Further you incited violence from your subordinates, against the Captain."

"For he may smile and smile and still be a villain. I thought Captain Clown would realise that this was not a good idea," Atonomatsuri said meditatively.

"Shakespeare now? I think Kurotsuchi is playing a deeper game than it seems," Zaraki said to her mentally. "I wonder why he is doing this. He sent his assistant captain demanding I see him, and all the time he was here talking to Yamamoto about an incident that occurred two days ago. What would have happened if I had decided to visit him?"

"I don't believe Hell has frozen over yet," Atonomatsuri answered. "He knew you wouldn't agree to his request."

Retsu had flushed at the accusation. Her normally pale cheeks had turned a dusky shade of rose and her eyes were wide with disbelief. Zaraki glanced at her and saw that she was disturbed by this sudden accusation.

"Captain Unohana, as the incident occurred within 4th Division, I believe you should supply your explanation first," Yamamoto instructed.

"Captain Kurotsuchi was in 4th Division, unknown to me. He attacked Captain Zaraki while he was still weak. I felt it was necessary to remove him quickly before he injured my patient any further," Retsu explained in a calm voice.

"But, I understand Captain Zaraki assaulted Captain Kurotsuchi, without provocation. Captain Zaraki, didn't you grab the Captain by the throat?" the Captain-General asked.

"Yes, I did, but only after.. ."

"You did assault Captain Kurotsuchi?"

"Yes, but only after he touched me," Zaraki blustered. He was starting to lose his temper.

"Bad move, Kenny. Tell them the whole story. Oh, what a tangled web we weave,

When first we practice to deceive!" Atonomatsuri squawked.

"Enough of the Shakespeare! Are you going to help or just quote at me?" Zaraki asked her.

"He touched you," the Captain General said slowly.

"I believed that Captain Kurotsuchi was threatening Captain Zaraki," Retsu said quickly.

Zaraki flashed Retsu a grateful look.

"And acting on that belief, you brought some subordinates to assist you. Your subordinates and you, with the exception of Captain Zaraki drew your zanpaku-to's on Captain Kurotsuchi in a time of peace? That is unlawful," the Captain-General said bluntly.

Retsu's flush had faded and now her face was as white as parchment.

"Captain-General. I believe that the whole story should be told. May I have your permission?" Retsu asked politely.

The Captain-General gave Retsu a piercing look. "The truth," he said.

"I only tell the truth. As you know, Captain Zaraki was brought to 4th Division suffering many wounds and he was poisoned. I was concerned for his welfare, as I am concerned for any of my patients. When he finally became conscious, it was obvious he was considerably weaker than normal. We were keeping a close watch on Captain Zaraki. The poison is unknown to me and I was uncertain if there would be side effects. I supplied a blood sample to Captain Kurotsuchi as I thought he might be interested in the poison. I did that purely as a courtesy."

"That seems reasonable and polite," said Captain Kyoraku.

"I'm not convinced," said Captain Soi.

"Silence," ordered the Captain-General. "Continue, please Captain Unohana. So far I can see nothing in your statement that does not appear true."

"I have since been told, by one of my people, that Captain Kurotsuchi brought a member of his division for medical attention. This person appeared to be suffering from a poison very similar to the one found in Captain Zaraki," Retsu continued.

"I thought you said the poison was unknown to you until you observed it in Captain Zaraki," Captain Ukitake said with interest.

"It was. I was surprised to learn of two cases within a few hours," Retsu replied. "While the patient was being treated, Captain Kurotsuchi left. At least, it was believed he left."

"Blended into the walls, again, Kurotsuchi," Captain Kyoraku, murmured sotto voice.

"Later that night, I heard some one call out and I went to Captain Zaraki's room. He was awake and we talked for a few moments. Captain Kurotsuchi appeared and demanded the source of the poison. Captain Zaraki laughed at him. I think that may have annoyed Captain Kurotsuchi. He grabbed Captain Zaraki by the wrist. I believe he was preparing to use one of his more unpleasant techniques to gain information. My main concern was my patient. Captain Kurotsuchi ignored my request to leave. I went to gather assistance. Captain Zaraki's 5th seat was still at 4th Division, as there was some concern that whoever attacked him might return. We unsheathed our zanpaku-to's to show Captain Kurotsuchi that we were in earnest. When we arrived at Captain Zaraki's room, Captain Zaraki had managed to overcome the unwelcome visitor. Captain Kurotsuchi was removed from 4th Division, with no injury to him. I was going to bring the matter to your attention, Captain-General. I apologise that I have not done so before this."

"She that respects herself is safe from others: She wears a coat of mail that no one can pierce," Atonomatsuri said admiringly.

Zaraki sighed. Back to the adages again. He preferred Shakespeare or Sun Tzu.

"A very clear outline, Captain Unohana. However, the fact remains that Captain Zaraki did attack Captain Kurotsuchi and you did encourage subordinates to draw their zanpaku-to's on a superior officer. Given the circumstances, and the unusual nature of the events, I am prepared to allow you to remain as Captain of 4th Division. Captain Zaraki, as the attack was not unprovoked, as I was led to believe, I will take no further action against you. However Captains, the actions of your subordinates cannot be overlooked, even though they were acting under orders. Those who were involved will be held in cells tomorrow, for the whole day and they are under curfew for a week."

Zaraki looked at the Captain-General. He felt like smiling. That was no punishment.

"That's not a proper punishment," Kurotsuchi complained. "I told you, Zaraki and Unohana are conspiring against Seireitei. I overheard their conversation. I told you what I heard."

"We will talk of that later, Captain," Yamamoto said to him with a serious note in his voice.

"But what about my samples?" Kurotsuchi whined.

"I provided a sample only this morning," Retsu said quietly.

"I need a fresh sample. That one had decayed," Kurotsuchi said.

"Captain Zaraki. In the next few days, be kind enough to supply a fresh sample of the poison to Captain Kurotsuchi," Yamamoto instructed.

"Sure," said Zaraki.

"I believe that is the end of that matter. Other matters: The intruder who attacked Captain Zaraki has been identified and presents no threat to Seireitei. Now, Captain Zaraki, I understand that you have an announcement to make to the other Captains," Yamamoto said.

"What the hell does he mean?" Zaraki wondered.

"Tell them about me, Kenny. He wants you to talk about me. Tell them about the marvellous nature and sparking personality of your zanpaku-to," Atonomatsuri crowed.

"Hell," Zaraki thought. "Maybe no one had heard rumours, because Yamamoto wanted me to announce this. Maybe there won't be any rumours."

"I am changing the direction of 11th Division," he said uneasily.

The other captains murmured to each other, except for Captain Kuchiki whose eyes widened slightly.

"I'm instructing the division to learn the names of their zanpaku-to's. We need to be able to fight against any threat. If we can use the strength of our zanpaku-to's we may have a better chance."

"So, do you know the name of your zanpaku-to?" Kurotsuchi sneered.

"Yes. I know the name of my zanpaku-to," Zaraki replied strongly.

The murmurs amongst the captains rose.

"What's its name"?" Captain Komamura asked.

"I hate this. Why did you have to have such a weird name? Why couldn't it be something like Crouching Tiger?" Zaraki said to Atonomatsuri.

"My name is for a reason, just like yours Kenny. Go on, they're all waiting. Tell them my name. Why hide my light under a bushel?" Atonomatsuri urged.

"My zanpaku-to's name is," Zaraki hesitated and glanced toward Yamamoto. The Captain-General returned his look sternly and nodded. "Atonomatsuri." Zaraki said reluctantly.

Kurotsuchi started to laugh loudly. The other captains looked shocked at the laughter.

"Atonomatsuri. "Too late". It's perfect for you, Captain. I couldn't have thought of a better name for your zanpaku-to," Kurotsuchi said, still laughing. "I suppose you've achieved bankai already."

Zaraki stiffened at the comments. He could feel the anger he had been suppressing, until now, rise.

"Keep calm, Kenny. Captain Clown wants you to react. Look at the way he's watching you. When anger arises, think of the consequences," Atonomatsuri advised.

"I thought you hated me, beak face. Why are you helping me now?" Zaraki asked.

"I hate Captain Clown more than I hate you. Anyway, we have a deal. Stop questioning me and answer the silly man."

"No. I have not achieved bankai. I do not know when, or even if I will make that progression," Zaraki said, then clenched his jaw shut.

"Oh, how troublesome," Kurotsuchi said smoothly. "Still lagging behind the rest of the captains and some of the assistant captains."

"That is enough, Captain," Yamamoto said, sharply.

Kurotsuchi stopped, and turned toward the Captain-General. "I am only telling the truth," he protested.

"I am rather interested in your version of the truth. It appears on occasions that your version is at odds with other versions. Wait outside after this meeting finishes. I will take some time to discuss truth and other matters with you," Yamamoto instructed him.

Kurotsuchi stood there, his mouth open and his eyes wide. He stared unbelievingly at Yamamoto and then slowly nodded.

"I think that is all the business completed, Captains. You are dismissed," Yamamoto announced.

As the captains moved toward the door, the Captain General walked up to Zaraki. "I would like to speak with you now, Captain. Please wait."

Zaraki nodded, wondering what this was about. He watched the other captains file out and caught a glare from Kurotsuchi.

"I understand that you have a recruit named Yuki Hisutanga," Yamamoto said, once they were alone.

Zaraki frowned when he heard the name. The name was slightly familiar, but he couldn't remember the recruit clearly. "I'm not sure, Captain-General. I've heard the name, but I can't place him."

"I understand that he acquired a nickname from your assistant-captain, recently," Yamamoto prompted.

Suddenly it was clear who Yuki Hisutanga, was. "You mean Piecrust?" As he said the name, Zaraki remembered that Piecrust had been injured again. "He's at 4th Division, at the moment," he said uncomfortably.

"I am aware of that. I believe this is the second visit to 4th Division in 2 days. Is that correct?"

"Ugh. Yeah. I don't think he's fitting into 11th Division. I was going to send him back to the Academy," Zaraki replied.

"You will not send him back. He will stay in 11th Division. Hisutanga's reputation has already spread and no other Division will take him. I instruct you to take a personal interest in training him. He needs a strong person to shape him into a shinigami. It's only by pure luck that he managed to graduate from the Academy," said Yamamoto.

"Then why not send him out of Seireitei? He's not going to improve. I had Madarame training him and Piecrust, I mean Hisutanga, wouldn't listen to him. Piecrust's a waste of reiatsu," Zaraki protested.

"That is an order, Captain. You will train the recruit. I will be observing his progress," Yamamoto continued.

"What if he asks to leave 11th Division? What if he gets killed during training," Zaraki was foundering. He didn't want to train Piecrust

"If he asks to leave I will speak to him personally. I haven't asked you to do anything difficult, Captain. I insist that you respect my request. Train him. He must have some potential."

"His only potential, I can see, is as hollow bait," Zaraki burst out.

"That could be at least useful. If he dies killing a hollow, at least he will die with some dignity," Yamamoto replied calmly.

"Why? Why do you want me to train him?" Zaraki asked

"That is none of your business. I want him trained, by you. I will come to view his progress next week. Make sure he is not at 4th Division at that time," Yamamoto insisted.

Zaraki swallowed and shrugged. "I will obey your instructions," he grated. A thought struck him.

"I appreciate that you did not tell anyone about our conversation yesterday," Zaraki said weakly.

"As I said Captain, I only release those facts that are essential. I thought over the years we had established some trust," Yamamoto replied. "You are dismissed Captain Zaraki. Tell Captain Kurotsuchi, I will see him now. Please ask that he come in," Yamamoto's voice was grim.

Zaraki left the room. Outside he found Kurotsuchi glaring at Retsu who was calmly gazing back.

"I am in charge of Research. You should stick to cleaning and washing and the other useless work that 4th Division performs. Or maybe you should find yourself a man and distract yourself with him. I don't want you trespassing on my work."

Zaraki glanced at Retsu. Her cheeks had flushed at Kurotsuchi's words.

"I work with sick people. If a person is poisoned, I should know the antidote. Discovering that antidote falls under the jurisdiction of 4th Division," she said clearly.

"I'll bring the matter to the attention of the Captain-General," Kurotsuchi began.

"I'm sure the Captain-General will be very interested in your comments. He's waiting to talk to you now," Zaraki broke in.

Kurotsuchi spun around and glared at Zaraki. "I can feel your treachery in this conspiracy. I'm watching you, Zaraki. Remember that."

"So there is a spy in 11th Division. That information may come in useful. I'll find out who it is and send them back to you, after I've had my fun. I'm sure Captain Unohana will do the same in 4th Division. As a Captain, I do not tolerate divided loyalties. I remind you, Captain Yamamoto is waiting to talk to you. I wouldn't keep him waiting," Zaraki replied coldly.

Kurotsuchi quickly entered the office at the reminder.

"I think that Captain Kurotsuchi is a little upset. I had to inform him that the member of his Division, who was admitted the night you were there, has died. Her reiatsu kept diminishing and I couldn't find a way to assist. I thought I'd found the antidote, but I think I was too late," Retsu said quietly.

"I think you're being too generous. He doesn't care what happens to his subordinates," Zaraki replied. "How's Piecrust," he asked trying to change the subject. He didn't want to talk about Kurotsuchi.

"He's recovering. I've ensured that he is attended only by males. That will hopefully prevent any other incidents. I hope to discharge him after two days observation. He was badly injured and refuses to name the person who attacked him. Hanataro Yamada and Iemura are doing most of the work."

"The fool insulted Yachiru and she cut him. Send him back when you're sick of him. I've been told I have to keep him," he added.

"Oh, dear. That won't be popular with your division, will it? I'm pleased he wasn't reassigned to mine. I heard that he was advised to join 4th Division at the Academy. It's my good fortune that he rejected that advice," Retsu said.

"And my bad luck," Zaraki sighed.

"I'll need another sample of the poison tomorrow, Zaraki. I think I may have found a method to weaken the poison. I'd like to have some control over how long the effects will last before I'm willing to release it. Unfortunately, I'll have to ask you to assist. You seem the only person who is relatively immune from the deadly effects. After the death this afternoon, I am even more reluctant to expose anyone else to the poison, until I have established the antidote."

"Sure. I need this and you're helping me. I'll come at a decent time. No more early morning visits." Zaraki said.

"And don't punch anyone," Retsu said.

"I won't thump anyone, even if Iemura dithers again," Zaraki said resignedly. "I'd better go."

"I'm hoping to see the Captain-General. I was told he may see me after he has spoken to Captain Kurotsuchi," Retsu said.

"Ignore that idiot Kurotsuchi when he comes out. See you tomorrow," Zaraki told Retsu.

She smiled at him briefly before he left.

Zaraki collected Yachiru and walked back to his Division, thinking. Yachiru kept asking questions which he answered distractedly. She tried to give directions, but he ignored them.

Yamamoto had been fair. No gossip had started from his office. Zaraki knew that Kurotsuchi would try to use the information he'd obtained at the Captain's meeting to start some vicious slander. At least he didn't know all the facts. If only there was some way to muzzle the freak.

He approached the training area and heard Ayasegawa issuing orders. Wandering in, he noticed that all the Division were looking sweat stained and weary. At least this time no one was lying on the ground. Looking around the faces, Zaraki could not see his 4th seat.

"Where's the 4th seat, Ayasegawa," he yelled.

"He had to go to 4th Division. He came out in a rash," Ayasegawa replied.

"Probably an allergy to training," Yachiru said, popping up behind Zaraki.

"You might be right," Zaraki agreed.

"Retsu won't be pleased," Atonomatsuri said.

Zaraki groaned. He hoped she wouldn't go formal on him again.

"Ayasegawa, you can stop now. I think we need everyone to go and rest up. We'll continue this tomorrow," Zaraki ordered.

"Hey, Captain," Madarame said entering the training ground. "The 4th Division sent me back. They had to sedate that idiot Piecrust again, and he'll be out for the night. I saw our 4th seat. He looks peculiar. Has purple blotches all over him. They've isolated him."

Zaraki groaned. Another mystery illness. His 4th seat managed to contract something weird once every few months.

Ayasegawa had dismissed the 11th while Madarame talked to Zaraki.

"What was the Emergency Meeting about, Ken-chan," Yachiru asked.

Zaraki did not wish to answer the question in public. It reminded him that there was a Kurotsuchi spy in 11th Division. The spy must be discovered immediately.

"I feel like a game of Cheat. Do you want to play?" he asked nonchalantly of his friends.

They looked at him, noticing his manner. They had agreed on this code long ago as a signal that they needed to talk privately.

"Cards. Yeah I'm interested. As long as it's not Poker," Madarame joked.

"Or Canasta," Yachiru said.

"I'd quite like a game of Hearts, or Cheat," Ayasegawa said.

"Madarame. You get the food. Yachiru you help. Don't be long. I'm in the mood to win," Zaraki said.

Madarame nodded slowly. Yachiru looked as if she might protest, but seeing the look in Zaraki's eyes, she also nodded.

Yachiru and Madarame left, arguing loudly about the food they would buy. Ayasegawa followed Zaraki to his office.

"What's the problem, Captain? Can I help?" Ayasegawa asked as soon as the office door was closed.

"I want to wait for the others. I don't feel like explaining this more than once. Want some sake?" Zaraki replied.

_

* * *

_

Author's note.

I was nasty to Kurotsuchi again. If you like him, you are obviously reading the wrong story.

I know that some of you are tapping your feet, waiting impatiently for the romantic spin off from this story. It's still on my list. Maybe I'll start it next week, or next month; next year?

I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoy writing it. Please review.

MS


	17. Aversion to Truth

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own the bird and the jerk._

**Aversion to Truth**

Ayasegawa shrugged. "Captain. I've know you for a long time. If you used the code, I think I might need a clear head to work through this. I only remember one time you used the code before and we both remember how difficult that was. This must be serious." He looked as serious as he ever did. So serious he didn't even try to catch a glimpse of his reflection.

Zaraki grinned at his 5th seat. "Practical again. You're right. Maybe I need to keep my head clear until we work out what to do. Would you like some tea?" Zaraki would have preferred sake, but saw the sense in the suggestion of keeping a clear head.

"I'll make it," Ayasegawa offered. "I made sure you had good supplies of my favourite blend when I was doing all your paperwork. I see that it's piling up again." Ayasegawa looked pointedly at the untidy pile of papers on Zaraki's desk. He moved toward where the teapot was kept.

"Ur, yeah. I've been busy. Do you think you could do it-," Zaraki began hoping that Ayasegawa would be easily convinced to do the paperwork.

"You still owe me sake from last time," Ayasegawa interrupted, as he commenced boiling the water.

"Tomorrow. I'll give the sake after you finish the paperwork tomorrow," Zaraki bargained. He was prepared to give him a case of sake if he didn't have to do anymore paperwork. Hell, he'd even give him the good sake.

Ayasegawa looked piercingly at Zaraki and then smiled. "Captain. You know I'd do anything for you," he paused. "If there's sake involved," he finished smiling. He retrieved the teapot, cups and tea from a cupboard.

Zaraki laughed. "Beauty, sake or a good fight attract you. Maybe we can make a deal where you do the paperwork every day, so it doesn't pile up."

Ayasegawa almost dropped the teapot he was filling. "No damned way, Captain. Not the hellishly boring paperwork every day. You can't expect a person with my beauty to spend his time completing tedious paperwork. Not when I could be providing enjoyment to so many when they catch a glimpse of my exquisite good looks. I'll share the work, but not every day."

Sighing, Zaraki said, "Maybe we can see if one of the recruits is any good at paperwork. I sure as Hades don't want to waste my time doing it. I'd prefer to talk to Atonomatsuri." Realising what he'd said, Zaraki cursed. He didn't want to mention her. She tended to talk to him when he mentioned her name.

"Flattery will get you nowhere with me, Kenny and that sounded not like flattery. You'd prefer to talk to me than do paperwork? That's not very kind. Maybe we need to have a long talk, soon," Atonomatsuri voice was cold. Zaraki shook his head. A long talk with Atonomatsuri wasn't something he wanted. From the tone of her voice, Atonomatsuri had returned to her bitter mood. Next she would be talking about how much she hated him and the pain he had caused her. Sighing he wondered how long it would be before he could use the new form of the zanpaku-to.

Ayasegawa was pouring the tea. "Your zanpaku-to? You'd prefer to talk to your zanpaku-to than do paperwork? There's nothing unusual in that, unless you don't like talking to your zanpaku-to. Do you Captain? You've told us very little about its physical manifestation."

"Not much to tell," Zaraki shrugged, hoping that Ayasegawa might become distracted by the tea.

"A lie begets a lie till they come to generations," Atonomatsuri threatened. "Yumichika would appreciate my beauty and wit. You've told your friends so little about me, only my name. I'm hurt. Why are you hurting me, Zaraki? Why are you denying me? Is it because they would prefer my conversation? Is it your fear of competition? Is it because your poor under worked mind is sending you dreams each night? Dreams that frighten the great Kenpachi Zaraki?"

Zaraki felt his spine stiffen at her words. She had mentioned the dreams that he didn't want to remember. He wasn't scared by the dreams. They just disturbed his sleep and he liked to sleep. "What do you know about the dreams?" he demanded. Little hoping for an answer, he waited, keeping his mind clear. The only reply he received was bitter laughter.

"Tell me what you know about the dreams," he again demanded louder, little hoping for a reply. How could he make the contrary vulture tell him anything?

"What dreams, Captain? I'm confused. I thought we were talking about your zanpaku-to," Ayasegawa responded. While Zaraki had been distracted Ayasegawa had come close to hand his captain the cup of tea.

Realising he's spoken the last comment aloud, Zaraki felt anger at Atonomatsuri. When she knew something, unless it was in her interest, she would not tell him until the time it would do most damage to him, or there was no other choice. "Don't tell me," he said mentally. "You'd probably lie anyway. I'm not interested in the dreams. They'll pass."

Atonomatsuri did not reply.

Zaraki took a sip of tea. He felt it burn his throat but he welcomed the burn. It was real, unlike the dreams and the ruined landscape that was supposed to be his mind. "Nothing. Just thinking aloud. I don't want to talk about my zanpaku-to, not yet anyway," he said dismissively.

Ayasegawa sat down, crossed his ankles and sipped his tea. His gaze was direct and clear. "I understand, Captain, but you should realise that your whole division is interested. If you don't talk, people are likely to imagine all types of things."

Zaraki did not bother to reply. He didn't want to talk about Atonomatsuri. He didn't want to talk to Atonomatsuri. In addition, he didn't want to think about her.

"Ken-chan. Open the door. My hands are full," Yachiru called from outside the door.

Zaraki opened the door. Madarame was laden with parcels while Yachiru only seemed to be carrying a box.

"What's in the box that made it hard for you to open the door?" he asked Yachiru curiously. It was only a small box.

"I bought a present for Piecrust," Yachiru smiled. "I didn't want to break it before I gave it to him."

Madarame chuckled as Ayasegawa helped him unpack the food.

"What's so funny?" Ayasegawa asked.

"I don't think it will be that easy to break. Show the captain what the present is, Assistant Captain," Madarame said.

Yachiru opened the box and thrust it under Zaraki's nose, excitedly. "Look Ken-chan. I saw these and immediately thought of Piecrust." Inside the box were two dolls dressed in shinigami uniforms. One, a male, wore a captain's coat. He appeared young and had spiky white hair. His zanpaku-to was worn on his back. The other doll was female, much taller than the male and wore an Assistant Captain's badge on the sash around her waist. Her shirt revealed a rather astounding cleavage. Zaraki wondered where they sold the dolls.

"I thought that Piecrust might be safer fighting these shinigami," Yachiru explained. "I didn't want to give him the 11th Division dolls. I thought 10th Division might be harmless."

"It will probably be the closest he ever gets to Matsumoto, or any female," Madarame joked. He smiled widely as his sally.

"Probably be the closest he gets to being able to win a fight against a captain, too," Ayasegawa laughed. He took the box from Yachiru to have a closer look.

"Don't pick them up," Yachiru complained as Madarame and Ayasegawa reached inside the box to pick up the dolls for closer examination. "If you want I'll buy you some for your birthdays."

Madarame and Ayasegawa hastily gave the dolls back to Yachiru.

"No thanks, Assistant Captain. I was just curious. Actually I find them a little disturbing," Ayasegawa said

"Do they have dolls of us?" Zaraki asked curiously. The thought of dolls in the image of him and Yachiru made him feel uneasy and slightly disgusted.

"Yes. They do, captain. They're quite popular. Actually we couldn't buy the 11th Division dolls as they had sold out." Madarame seemed reluctant to provide the information. He looked at Zaraki and saw the expression on his face. "They're only a toy, Captain. It's nothing."

Zaraki was not so sure. Briefly he wondered who would buy the dolls.

Yachiru looked at Madarame and Zaraki, her eyes expressing her confusion. "I'll give the dolls to Piecrust when he comes back. Then I can tell him to go and play with his dolls when he starts crying," she said smugly. "I'm hungry. There was no food while you were at the Captains" meeting, Ken-chan. None of the other vice-captains wanted to play or fight. They only wanted to talk. That made me hungrier. I made Baldy get lots of food. And he bought me sweets because I fought Piecrust so well."

Zaraki raised an eyebrow at Madarame. "I see," was all he said.

Madarame looked a little embarrassed. "She deserved them. You would have been proud. She didn't lose her temper, well, not much." He quickly busied himself arranging the food. He turned his face away from Zaraki.

"Why are you still talking?" Yachiru asked. "Let's eat."

They are in silence until the first stage of hunger had been satisfied.

"One thing that bothers me, Captain," Madarame said after a few minutes. "We never found your attacker. Should we station a guard outside your house?" He'd recovered his composure by this time and his concern showed in his face.

"That won't be necessary," Zaraki said abruptly. He didn't want to talk about this now, or ever. He ate distractedly, hoping to discourage any further questions.

"Why not Ken-chan? Because you will cut the attacker this time? Did you manage to kill him last time? We didn't find a body." Yachiru was very curious and it was obvious that she wanted an answer and would not let the matter rest until she received one.

"How are you going to avoid the questions this time, Kenny boy? You may fool the eye, but not the mind," Atonomatsuri said.

Kenny boy? Zaraki swallowed hard at the appalling name. Maybe he should provide a small explanation. "It's a her, not a him," Zaraki tried to hedge.

"Was it Rhubarb who attacked you?" Yachiru said eagerly. Her eyes gleamed at the thought of a new target. She quickly ate the last thing on her plate and opened the bag of lollies.

"It was not Retsu who attacked me. You should address her as Captain Unohana," Zaraki reproved Yachiru, little hoping she would listen to him.

"If you don't mind me saying, Captain, you're dodging the subject. You did say if we had any questions we should ask you," Madarame said casually. He glanced at Ayasegawa who nodded in agreement.

Atonomatsuri laughed gloatingly. "Which version of the truth are you going to tell them, Kenny boy? Or is it because of your aversion to truth? Hoist by your own petard. You said you'd tell them, and now they are asking. Remember, I won our battle."

Zaraki shut his eyes, trying to think. How many times would he be forced to face the humiliating revelation? "The manifestation of my zanpaku-to attacked me," he growled. Silence blanketed the room after the admission.

Zaraki opened his eyes to see three people staring at his zanpaku-to.

"I didn't know that could happen, Ken-chan," Yachiru said in a small voice. Zaraki had not seen her so hesitant before. It seemed extraordinary that she seemed slightly intimidated by his zanpaku-to.

"Neither did I Yachiru," Zaraki sighed heavily. Maybe the questions would stop soon.

"It's pretty unusual, but I'm sure it's happened before," Ayasegawa said as he placed his empty plate on the table. It was obvious he was trying to reassure Yachiru, Zaraki, and himself.

"Don't bother lying. Look, I don't want to talk about that now. You don't need to place a guard outside my house. It won't happen again."

"I hope," he said silently to himself. By now he'd lost his appetite.

"Don't count on it Kenny. Faint hope never won fair lady. Or do I mean faint heart never won fair zanpaku-to?" Atonomatsuri's words may have been flippant, but a darker intent lay under the words. Zaraki tried to ignore the intent.

"There is something more important that I want to discuss before we talk about anything else. It's something that affects all of us. You might know something." Zaraki was firm. This was something that required discussion as soon as possible. His zanpaku-to, the dolls and Piecrust were only secondary concerns.

"We're listening," Madarame said. Ayasegawa and Yachiru and Madarame leaned forward to listen. They intently awaited his words. Yachiru was chewing a sweet loudly.

"I believe we have a spy from 12th Division in 11th Division. Kurotsuchi almost admitted it today," Zaraki rumbled as quietly as he could. Instead of the outcry he expected, Zaraki noticed that his three friends were nodding.

"That would make a lot of sense," Ayasegawa said, stealing a sweet from Yachiru despite her protests.

"Probably explain some of the things I've been noticing," Madarame commented, also stealing a sweet from Yachiru who was distractedly slapping at Ayasegawa.

Hearing the last words and not noticing Madarame's theft, Yachiru's eyes gleamed. "What will we do with the spy when we find them? Can I choose, please, Ken-chan?" She popped another lolly in her mouth.

"I thought you would be surprised," Zaraki muttered. He had been surprised, at first, but probably not as surprised as he might have been.

"With that guy, nothing would surprise me." Madarame folded his arms and glanced at Ayasegawa and Yachiru. They both nodded in agreement.

The conversation was interrupted by a knock at the door. Yachiru leapt to her feet to open if. Her face fell when she saw who had knocked. "It's only Rhubarb," she said.

"Hello Assistant Captain. I have something for you," Retsu said and handed a very large bag of Konpeito to Yachiru. "I understand you like these."

Yachiru's face took on a look of consideration. "These are all for me?"

"All of them," Retsu replied.

Yachiru stuck out her bottom lip as she thought. "Is this a bribe?"

"Of course it is. I don't want you to call me Rhubarb anymore," Retsu replied honestly. Zaraki felt like shaking his head at Retsu. She was being too honest.

A smile lit up Yachiru's face. "I prefer it when people tell the truth. Ken-chan hates liars. I'll stop calling you Rhubarb, but I want more Konpeito."

"Don't demand bribes," Zaraki said harshly. How many sweets could she consume? That bag, large as it was would probably be eaten within an hour or two.

Yachiru turned a startled face to Zaraki. "Why not?"

"Because it's not very honest. Why not call Captain Unohana by her proper title?" Zaraki thought he should at least remind his assistant captain of the correct protocol.

Yachiru's bottom lip wobbled. "I like giving people nicknames, Ken-chan. It's fun." Zaraki ignored the bottom lip.

"I don't mind if she gives me a nickname," Retsu said quickly. "I'm just not very fond of Rhubarb." She smiled at Yachiru sweetly.

Yachiru smiled back at her. "I hate it. I'll think up another nickname for you. How about I call you Uno or Plaits or Lolly? I think I'll call you Lolly, because you gave me lollies."

"I think I prefer Uno." With slight desperation, Retsu suggested her preference.

"Nup. I'm going to call you Lolly," Yachiru grinned at her. "It suits you, Lolly."

Zaraki sighed. It could have been much worse. "Would you like to join us, Captain Unohana? Are you hungry? I think we've some food. Sit down," Zaraki invited indicating a chair.

Retsu sat in the chair he indicated and Ayasegawa handed her a plate of food. "Did I interrupt anything?" Retsu asked.

"I was telling them about the spy," Zaraki replied. Maybe Retsu had some ideas that might help them.

"Ken-chan. You shouldn't mention that," Yachiru was shocked at his open admission. Madarame and Ayasegawa also seemed a little surprised at Zaraki's honesty with the other captain.

"I know about the spy in 11th Division," Retsu said quietly. "I believe Captain Kurotsuchi has placed a spy in 4th Division, also."

"He said something at the Captain's meeting that made me think that he's planted spies in our divisions. He was focused on something else at the time," Zaraki explained. He wanted his friends to fully understand the situation.

"Now I understand," his frown clearing, Ayasegawa nodded. "It seems strange that the captain would admit anything like that, unless he was preoccupied."

"The problem is, how do we find out who the spy is?" Madarame asked. He seemed to be thinking about the problem seriously.

Yachiru squeezed her face into a wicked looking expression. "It's Piecrust. It must be Piecrust!" she exclaimed.

Hearing the name reminded Zaraki of some other news he had to tell his friends. "Even if it is Piecrust, we have to keep him."

"What! You're kidding," was Madarame's reaction.

"Please, let it not be true," Ayasegawa pleaded. He had paled at the thought.

"Can I play with him again?" Yachiru asked.

"The Captain-General has told me we must keep Piecrust. None of the other Divisions will accept him, including your's Captain Unohana." Zaraki felt annoyed that he had been forced into this position.

"He would be of little use to 4th Division," Retsu said quietly, eating delicately.

"He'll be of little use to us." Madarame was on his feet as he said the words, as if he wanted to take action. Realising there was nothing he could do, he sat down again.

"Don't worry, Madarame. I've been instructed to train him, personally. You won't have to work with him again," Zaraki said resentfully. Remembering the instructions from the Captain-General was worse than the news of the spy.

"You can't waste your time on that jerk," Ayasegawa shrilled.

"Is the Captain-General out of his mind? I was thinking I'd get Aramaki to take over Piecrust's training. I thought he could at least train him to clean up, or sweep, or something." Madarame voice trailed off, realising that this was not going to happen.

"Will you train me at the same time, Ken-chan?" Yachiru requested.

"Oh, dear," said Retsu, as she finished her meal. "I will keep a room available for Piecrust on a permanent basis, if you will be training him, Captain Zaraki. Maybe I'll have a name plate made for his door." The four members of 11th Division looked at the Captain of 4th Division, astonished at the comment. Then they all started laughing, including Retsu.

"Hey, Captain. Got any potions to make him less of a jerk?" Zaraki asked.

"Unfortunately, no, or I would have used it before now. I think we should discuss the spies. If we can come up with a strategy together, then we might be able to work out a method to identify them," Retsu said.

"The problem is we don't know how long the spy has been here. It might be one of the new recruits; it could be one of the established shinigami. Hell, it could even be one of you." Zaraki was aware that his last comment would gain a reaction and he was correct.

"Why would I spy for someone I despise? You have never questioned my loyalty until now, Captain. I understand but I am also injured by the accusation." Bright colour stood in Ayasegawa's cheeks. His eyes were vivid with anger.

"I don't think the captain is questioning our loyalty, Ayasegawa. I think he's trying to indicate that it could be anyone," Madarame reassured his friend.

"You don't believe I'm the spy, do you Ken-chan?" Yachiru looked a little lost at the possibility.

"Don't be stupid. I don't think any of you are the spy. We met before we came to Seireitei. I'm just trying to point out that we can't dismiss anyone from suspicion. I don't think it can be Piecrust, unless he is a better actor than he is a shinigami. Do you have any thoughts, Captain?" Zaraki glanced at the other captain who was following the discussion intently.

Retsu thought for a moment before she spoke. "I feel like celebrating tonight. Would you all like to join me in the nearest sake house? I'll pay for the drinks."

The four member of 11th Division looked at the 4th Division Captain as if she had suddenly gone mad. Retsu looked at Zaraki seriously and raised an eyebrow. Not understanding, Zaraki opened his mouth to question her only to see her shake her head. What the hell was going on?

"I never pass up the offer of a free drink." Madarame seemed to think that it was a good idea.

"As long as you're paying, I'll come," Ayasegawa agreed.

Zaraki nodded slowly. "Yeah. Why not?"

As a group they left the office, Yachiru carrying her lollies and the bag of Konpeito, which she was hastily eating. They went to the nearest sake house where they were shown to a private room. By unspoken agreement they didn't talk except to place their orders.

Retsu waited until they had been served before she said anything of consequence. "I thought we should leave your office, Captain Zaraki for the following reasons. Have you considered the possibility that the spy is not a person? The Captain of the 12th Division is in charge of research and development. Remember, he told you that he was keeping his eye on you. That could mean anything. Has the Captain ever visited you in your office? Do you keep your office locked when you're not there?"

Zaraki bit the inside of his cheek. "Kurotsuchi has never visited me while I was in my office. And I don't keep my office locked. Who'd want to steal paperwork? I'd probably help them steal it if it meant I didn't have to do it."

"If he has visited your office he may have found a place to conceal something that would record your conversation, or even film you. When I thought about it, I decided we should continue our discussion somewhere that the good captain would not consider it worthwhile to place listening devices." Retsu calmly sipped her drink after she completed her explanation.

"Kurotsuchi was quick to ask if I'd achieved bankai. Almost like he knew the answer. He would know if was listening in last night. When you asked if we wanted to celebrate, I wondered what was going on. It seemed odd that you suddenly decided you wanted to celebrate anything with 11th Division, unless it was that Piecrust wasn't being reassigned to your Division," Zaraki said finally understanding.

"Are you saying that isn't a good reason to celebrate?" Retsu smiled broadly at Zaraki. "If the Captain-General had told you Piecrust was reassigned, wouldn't you be celebrating now?"

"Celebrating? Damn right I would." If only he could get the jerk reassigned. That would make his problems seem that much smaller. "We'll have to check the office for anything that could be reporting back to Kurotsuchi tomorrow. At the same time I think we'll check for human agents. Kurotsuchi probably wouldn't use a person because he'd be worried about anyone having that sort of power over him, but I'm not sure. Watch for anyone who asks too many questions. As for the office we'll clear everything out and repaint it, but not pink." Zaraki glared at Yachiru who seemed to be ready to make that suggestion.

"A good idea, Captain. Maybe you would allow me to decide the colour scheme and furniture. If I'm spending time in there doing paperwork, I want my surroundings to complement me." Ayasegawa rested his chin prettily on his hands and fluttered his eyelashes.

"Okay. I want to keep my desk, chair, and sake cabinet. If the room is pink, I'll repaint it myself, with your blood, using your hair as the paint brush. Understand, 5th seat?" Zaraki liked the idea of a fresh office. Since he'd become captain, the office had changed very little.

"There won't be any pink, Captain. The colour of dried blood does not appeal to me." Ayasegawa seemed to take the threat seriously.

"I'm hurt at your rejection of the most beautiful colour pink. I'm pink. Are you rejecting me again Kenny? Each man kills the thing he loves."

"But I don't love you, Atonomatsuri. We've had this conversation before. I'm not sure I even like you and I don't want a pink office," Zaraki replied.

"I'll look at the chair, desk and cabinet very closely to make sure they're safe." Pouring another drink, Madarame looked intently at his captain. "If there's anything wrong with them, I'll have to destroy them."

"Blast. If you have to," Zaraki sighed. Bloody Kurotsuchi. Why did the clown have to cause him this much trouble. He was accustomed to his furniture. "It means keeping the office locked when I'm not there. If I give you keys, you'll have to keep them secure. I thought we weren't under threat from within. I was wrong."

"The price of peace is eternal vigilance." Atonomatsuri again had to add to the conversation.

"Thanks for the adage. Now, shut it. I'm trying to talk." Zaraki wished that bird would be quiet. What use were adages?

"You should listen to me Kenny. However if one does not plan and takes the enemy lightly, One will certainly be captured by him. I remember you reading that in _The Art of War_ many times." Atonomatsuri's voice was serious.

"Of course I read it. It's good advice. Do I have to remind you to shut up?" Zaraki was becoming exasperated at the regular interruptions.

"You _**will**_talk to me later. There are none so deaf as those who will not hear." The heavy emphasis made Zaraki wonder what the vulture intended.

"I might do the same. I cannot remember the last time I had my office painted. It will give Iemura something else to organise and might make him focus on something different. I'm certain he will take on that project," Retsu said thoughtfully. "I'll have to find some method of identifying any devices planted elsewhere."

"Will you paint your office, pink, Lolly? I like pink," Yachiru's face wore a pleading expression as she stuffed more Konpeito into her mouth.

"Not the whole office." Uncertainty was evident in Retsu's voice. "I might have some pink, maybe on the curtains."

Yachiru grinned at her. "Will you keep a big bag of Konpeito, for when I visit?"

"Do you plan to visit often?" Retsu seemed surprised at hearing this request.

"I'll probably visit you nearly every day if Ken-chan is training Piecrust. As a good assistant captain, I should take an interest in any wounded members of my division." Yachiru said the words virtuously but was smiling widely.

Zaraki looked at his assistant captain. Sometimes she surprised him with her ability to manipulate people. Madarame had bought her the lollies and the food she wanted and he was less susceptible than most. For a brief moment Zaraki wondered how often she manipulated him. "You're asking for bribes again, Yachiru. You know how I feel about that," he reminded her.

Yachiru's face expressed a hurt innocence that almost convinced Zaraki. He frowned at her sternly only to have her smile happily back at him.

"You never answered my question, Ken-chan. Will you train me at the same time you train Piecrust?"

"I don't think it's a good idea if you train him alone. He'll become even more arrogant if you take a special interest in him. What the fool's got to be so proud of, I don't know. It's almost like he thinks he's privileged. Maybe we should train with you when you train Piecrust. I need a work out if we're getting ready for the Arrancar. How about it Captain? Let's make the jerks life hell." Madarame seemed to be seriously considering the matter.

Zaraki nodded thoughtfully as he stroked his chin. Piecrust's self-importance had not gone unnoticed. He didn't want it to get out of hand. "Yeah. Let's do it. The Captain-General can't complain if I do it that way. We'll have to try to train him. It won't be easy. He has no fighting skills. I think that even Aramaki could beat him without trying. He's trying to copy other people and hasn't developed his own style. Hey, Madarame, that reminds me. Your fight with him. You always told me you don't do kido. How's that work?"

Madarame smiled slyly. "One of my problems with kido is I can't remember the damned words. I just repeated the words the jerk said. I'm not even sure they worked. The kicker is, I think he just believed they did and acted as if he were under the spell. If so, the guy's too suggestible."

The room erupted in laughter with the exception of Retsu who seemed eager to find out the source of the joke. "What happened? I wasn't there."

Briefly Zaraki outlined the sequence of events. By the time he had finished Retsu was chuckling.

Yachiru was yawning loudly and looking very sleepy. "I think I want to go to bed, Ken-chan. Good night every one." Yachiru got to her feet and wandered out of the room taking what remained of her lollies with her.

"Will she be okay to walk home, by herself?" Retsu seemed concerned about the assistant captain.

"You saw what she did to Piecrust and I doubt she was really trying. Anyone who tries to attack her will end up visiting your division or being measured for a shroud. I've talked enough of Piecrust and all the other stuff. We're here to celebrate. Let's celebrate. Madarame and Ayasegawa, I taught Captain Unohana some of those drinking games. Want to play?" Zaraki relaxed in the company of his friends and now he wanted some fun.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Captain Zaraki. I remember the hangover I had last time." Retsu paused for a moment and then a broad smile crossed her face. "If we're playing drinking games, I insist everyone calls me Retsu."

"Only if you call me Zaraki again," he grinned at her.

"How good is she, Captain? Is she as good as me?" Ayasegawa smiled at his captain, winningly.

"You'll find out." Zaraki prepared to enjoy himself. He would think about Atonomatsuri later. At the moment he was enjoying her silence.

_

* * *

_

Author's note:

I get the feeling not many people like Kurotsuchi. Good.

Yes, Zaraki recognised the quotes from Shakespeare in the last chapter. I thought they were very well known quotes and most people would know the source. If I was wrong, sorry.

The next chapter may provide further explanation about Zaraki's past.

Thank you for the reviews. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

MS


	18. Seeking Forgetfulness

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Seeking Forgetfulness**

Facing the hollow again, Zaraki felt a moment of restlessness. He must be dreaming again. Damn the dreams. He was standing in a blasted wasteland at least 50 metres away from the hollow. He remembered the last time he had fought against the hollow and lost. The strange feeling of familiarity remained. The hollow was not attacking; it seemed to be observing Zaraki. Still feeling edgy, Zaraki drew his zanpaku-to. The hollow did not move, continuing to watch him. Moving closer to the hollow did not make it attack; it only continued to look at him.

Zaraki was puzzled. Why wasn't it attacking? Why was it watching him so closely? Hollows didn't normally stand around. It should be attacking him, trying to kill him and absorb his reiatsu. He was now standing 20 metres from the hollow.

"You, hollow. Do you want to fight?" Zaraki challenged the hollow. "See if you can cut me."

The hollow remained immobile. The immobility made Zaraki decide to act. He rushed at the hollow and tried to cut it, to kill it, destroy the thing. It vanished. Turning around, Zaraki saw it on his left. He moved to kill it and it vanished again.

"Come and fight me you gutless hollow. I'll beat you this time. You want to kill me? You'll have to try harder this time."

"Harder this time," the hollow repeated. The voice sounded familiar. Zaraki whirled around to his left, to find the hollow standing 20 metres away.

Running at the hollow with his zanpaku-to poised to slice through the mask, Zaraki skidded to a halt as the hollow vanished again.

"Harder this time." The voice came from his left. Instinctively Zaraki turned in the direction ready to slice through the assault he was sure was coming. The hollow did not attack, just stood there like a monstrous statue.

"Why did the hollow say that? Or was it Atonomatsuri who said that. Hey, bird. Get out of my dreams. I think I'll wake up now. I don't want to have these dreams anymore." Zaraki struggled with his thoughts and struggled to wake up. It wasn't working.

Giving up the attempt he walked slowly until he was 10 metres from the hollow. "What do you want?"

"Harder this time," the hollow said again.

Moving a further metre closer, he demanded, "What do you want?"

"What do you want? Harder this time." The hollow did not move.

"Can't you say anything else?" Zaraki's temper was becoming shorter as he moved closer to the hollow. At five metres the hollow vanished again. Turning slowly, he noticed that the hollow had again appeared on his left.

"Harder this time. What do you want?" The words reverberated through the mask of the hollow, becoming louder.

"I want to be stronger. What do you want?" Zaraki answered the question without thinking.

"Harder this time to be stronger. What do you want?" The hollow moved closer and this time Zaraki backed away. He hated these freaking dreams. They made as much sense as Atonomatsuri when she was being her usual pleasant self.

"I want to be stronger. What do you want? What do I have that you want?" Where that question came from, he didn't know. Something compelled him to ask.

"Harder this time to be stronger. What do you want? I have what you want." The hollow sidled closer.

The words disturbed Zaraki. "It's a dream. Means nothing. Got to wake up. This is a dream. Hollows attack. They don't parrot everything you say. That's funny. I'm beset by birds. A parroting hollow and a decomposing vulture." Zaraki's thoughts were becoming a little haphazard as he tried again to force himself awake.

With a jolt, he finally woke. He was breathing heavily; sweat beading his forehead and his body unnervingly damp with perspiration. The room was dark. Pushing off his coverings he rubbed his face with his hands as he waited for his breathing to slow. When he had these dreams, he was pleased he was alone. No one to ask why he was sleeping uneasily. No one to question him, to ask if he was scared. It was better to be alone. He leant across and switched on a light. His eyes stung at the brightness and he dimmed it so the light barely illuminated the room.

For a moment he remembered when Retsu had talked to him after his nightmare the night he stayed in 4th Division. It had been good to have a distraction from the thoughts that the dream had raised. Retsu was different to what he had thought. She was an honest direct person. It was almost as if they were friends. Zaraki had difficulty in accepting the thought. From hardly knowing the woman, to becoming friends. Friends with Retsu. He'd never imagined it. He's thought all his friends were in 11th Division. Now it seemed he was preparing for another change. More friends. He shelved the notion as unimportant.

It had been entertaining playing the drinking games last night. None of them had become too intoxicated. They were mindful that they had things to do the next day. They had laughed so much and told each other silly stories. When he lost the last game, Ayasegawa threatened to paint Zaraki's office a pumpkin colour. He desisted when Madarame told him it wouldn't suit him. Pumpkin would not complement his skin tones. Zaraki had noticed a mocking tone as Madarame had said the words. Thinking it over, Ayasegawa agreed he would hate to sit in a pumpkin coloured office. The colour scheme was seemingly still undecided.

"At least the Captain-General won't expect me to do paperwork while I get my office tidied up." Looking around his bedroom, Zaraki wondered idly if the clown captain had planted any devices in there. "Stupid idea. Why would he do that? Unless he wanted to watch me …no I don't even want to think about it." With an expression of disgust at his thoughts, Zaraki picked up a glass to drink some water.

"There is no evil without its advantages." Atonomatsuri was obviously awake. Hearing another adage, Zaraki automatically dismissed the words without thinking about them. He didn't want to talk to the vulture at the moment.

"I said there is no evil without its advantages." There was anger in the repetition.

"I told you. I hate adages. They mean nothing." Without thinking about it, Zaraki answered her, spurred by her tone. He might not want to talk to her, but it was apparent she wanted to talk to him.

"Think about what the words mean, Kenny. Adages usually have a …"

"I'm not thinking about what the words mean. I'm not even thinking." Once more he felt obliged to talk to her.

"I've noticed. You really are a discouraging case, Kenny." Atonomatsuri sounded despondent as she spoke. Zaraki ignored the tone of her voice and her words. He thought about getting up. Looking at the time, he noticed it was 11.11 pm. He'd been asleep 1 hour 11 minutes. He needed more sleep, but he was awake now. What could he do to get back to sleep? How could he be certain that the dreams would not return?

"Why won't you talk to me, Kenny boy? Have I said anything to distress you? Did the nasty dream alarm you? Poor little Kenny boy. Scared of the horrid dreams about a hollow." Atonomatsuri's sarcasm was worse than ever. Her voice dripped venom, but the snigger she uttered was weary.

Zaraki chose to ignore her. If he asked, she wouldn't enlighten him. Thinking about it, he could not identify the reason why the squalid creature had become worse over time instead of better. For a brief period it had seemed they had formed an uneasy alliance. That now had elapsed.

"Not talking to me? Poor little Kenny. Don't you want to know the big secret? Secrets are the untold truth. It's the secret behind everything." She was trying to encourage him to talk to her. He may as well humour her, for the moment. He wasn't getting any sleep.

"What secret? How long will it take you to give details? Do I have to do something boring to get you to tell me, like listen to you? You'll probably lie." Zaraki couldn't bring himself to trust the bird much. It took too long to get her to explain anything.

"It's an important secret Kenny. Very important. It's a secret about you. I know it. The Captain-General knows the secret too. He won't tell you. Maybe I will. A flower kept in darkness will not blossom."

For a brief moment Zaraki wondered who the flower was. He hoped that Atonomatsuri was not calling him a flower. That would be pretty strange even for the vulture. "What do I have to do in return?" It was obvious that there would have to be some compromise to get any information out of her.

"Simply say my name. That's not hard, is it? I think even a person with your inadequate talents can do that, Kenny. Say my name. Call me forth and I will tell you. I will tell you all. Yes, I will tell you all." Her voice sank to a croon as she said the last words.

Not sure whether to trust her, Zaraki pondered the suggestion. If he said her name, she would appear. He didn't particularly aim to see her again. "How do I know you won't lie to me? This could all just be one of your ploys."

"I'm hurt, Kenny. I thought we agreed to have confidence in each other. The getting of treasures by a lying tongue is a vanity tossed to and fro of them that seek death. Why would I try to lead you astray? What benefit would there be for me?" Atonomatsuri answered in a sing song manner, unlike her usual way of speaking.

"This is a dumb idea. A really bad idea." Zaraki thought even as his mouth shaped the word, "Atonomatsuri."

Swiftly the bird appeared beside the bed. Zaraki felt a surge of repugnance and moved as far away from her as possible. He'd forgotten the full repulsive nature of her appearance. She didn't seem quite as decayed as before, though she still looked hideous. For a moment he was glad that the light was dim so he couldn't see all her badly defined features.

"What's wrong Kenny? Don't like the way I look? You made me this way. You conjured your mind and me to look the way we do. A diamond may appear ugly before it is cut and the true beauty revealed." Atonomatsuri glared at him, apparently upset by his reaction.

"Should I cut you? More than happy to do that." Atonomatsuri hissed at his offer. "How did I make you this way? I had nothing to do with it. You're talking drivel as usual." Zaraki wondered how he could get her to leave him alone. Why had he listened to her? At least when she was only talking to him, he didn't have to look at her. Now he was faced with the reality of the manifestation and he preferred his memory.

"I thought I'd explained it to you before, Kenny. Don't you remember? Here is a noble mind overthrown, except there is nothing noble about your mind. It's a mess."

Zaraki decided to disregard the adages and quotes. Talking about them wasted breath. "I remember the lies and partial truths. How can I remember everything? You didn't explain that I caused your appearance. You seemed intent on telling me lots of other stuff that wasn't relevant. I recall that you wanted to talk about the number of bells in my hair."

"Yes the significance of the number 11. As I mentioned before it is a master number and had magical significance. You may remember, in the Christian religion, if you remove the traitor, Judas Iscariot, from the twelve apostles you are left with the number eleven. I believe this to be a very significant coincidence. In the human world, the sun spot cycle is repeated every 11 years. Interestingly enough 11 is often believed to be the number of 'The Peacemaker..." Atonomatsuri seemed ready to provide a monologue about the number 11. Zaraki was sure he wouldn't enjoy it. He was certain that Atonomatsuri would and was using it as a method of control.

"I wear 11 bells because I'm the Captain of the 11th Division. When you started going on about the significance of the number 11, I was amused. Why would I think up a complicated reason for something that was blindingly simple? You always have to find the elaborate reason for everything." Zaraki had finally decided to challenge Atonomatsuri, but not to a fight. Her air of smug omnipotence made him even more determined to show her his truth and his reality.

"Our own life is the instrument with which we experiment with truth. I know there is a deeper meaning than you are espousing. I will make you confess the truth one day and acknowledge the lie. It is more than you are the captain of the 11th Division. It has to be more." Atonomatsuri's eyes seemed to flash challengingly in the half light. Zaraki had not seen her look so disconcerted before.

"Can we avoid the garbage and talk about the secret you were finally going to reveal? That was the only reason I summoned you. Or do I have to go through the non-stop insults, adages, deviations and further insults? Atonomatsuri, this time could you tell the truth without the rest?" The use of her name seemed to soften the bird somewhat. She ran her beak over her feathers, preening slightly as she considered the question.

For a moment, Zaraki's sight darkened. Light flickered at the corners of his peripheral vision. When his sight returned he quickly realized what had happened. He groaned, attempting to reject what his eyes revealed.

The bird had taken him back into his mind.

Zaraki looked around his mouth open and his mind racing. His mind again! For the love of light, why this? This was worse than the dream about the hollow. Shutting his eyes he counted to 11 before opening them. It was possible his eyes were playing tricks because of the lack of sleep. If the bird was so convinced of the power of 11 maybe it would perform a significant act and get him out of his mind. After he reached 11, he opened his eyes slowly. He was still sitting in the rocky badlands of his psyche.

"_This is the way the world ends,_

_This is the way the world ends,_

_This is the way the world ends,_

_Not with a bang but a whimper_."

"What the hell are you talking about? What stupid rhyme is that?" None of this was making sense to Zaraki. Nothing had made sense since he started having the dream.

"It's just part of a poem. Nothing to scare the great Captain Kenny. It means as little as your mind. Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they're open. No one would ever suggest that described you." Atonomatsuri shook her head, sadly.

"Okay. I've had enough of that. What's the secret? I didn't summon you just for the delights of your conversation. If I wanted to enjoy a conversation, I'd talk to someone else." Zaraki stood up, deciding that he felt in more control if he was standing. It also gave him a height advantage over Atonomatsuri. A minor advantage, but strategy dictated that any gain should be exploited.

"The secret? Ah, well. Nothing is as burdensome as a secret. You know you have to pay a price before I tell you. Secrets are expensive." Waggling her head, Atonomatsuri flicked a glance at Zaraki, as if trying to guess his reaction.

Instinctively, Zaraki reached for his zanpaku-to and then realized he would not be wearing it. He had been sleeping, and wearing the zanpaku-to when he slept was the idea of an idiot. He dropped his hand, only to find the hilt of his blade, fit into his palm. An exclamation left his throat.

"Of course your zanpaku-to is here. Not all the laws of the physical world apply. In fact you can make the rules, but that requires thought. The mind can be fascinating. Yours is monotonous. Still running through the same thoughts of destruction, death, and revenge. Occasionally there is a glimmer of original thought, but you are returning to lazy habits, letting others think for you. You have refused to listen to me, unless you have no other choice. It is important that you listen to me. My advice is essential for your survival." Atonomatsuri raised her voice, the pitch rising also. Her expression indicated anger and concern.

"I don't want to talk about that. I want to know the cost of the secret. If it's listening to you, the price is too high. If I want advice I will consult the I Ching." His reaction to the statements made by Atonomatsuri shocked him. It seemed that close proximity with the bird, increased his hatred.

Atonomatsuri brindled. Her face assumed a sneer that highlighted the decay. "Kenny, Kenny. I'm disappointed. The I Ching requires interpretation…"

"And you don't? At least the I Ching has commentaries which explain the gist. I'm still trying to work out the meaning of some of your obscure observations. I'm so damned sick of you, your frigging adages and crappy appearance. Go and die somewhere. Get out of my head and out of my life." Walking away from Atonomatsuri seemed the only solution. Zaraki walked as fast as he could; knowing all the while that he was trapped, and his anger was born of impotence. Being returned to his mind was bad.

Eventually he stopped walking. There was little reason to pretend. He could not escape. Grumbling to himself he looked around. As his dreams had indicated, his mind had changed. It was still a disaster. Chaos reigned. But the former asteroids in the sky were beginning to transform into planets. The broken and torn items were beginning to reform.

"I'll ignore your rude and hurtful words. I'm aware that it's because you're so pleased to be here once more, alone with me." The words came from Zaraki's left. He didn't bother checking to see Atonomatsuri. He didn't want to look at her.

"Your mind has improved, but it could be because of my influence. You have to think carefully to restore your mind. Mind over matter. Does the mind matter? Age is strictly a case of mind over matter...if you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Your mind doesn't matter."

The random spate of words made Zaraki pause. Did any of the words she uttered mean anything? Or was it yet another puzzle that the blasted decomposing flying carcass had designed to torment him? If he asked her, would he receive an intelligible answer? Instead he bent and picked up a sake bottle that was lying next to the teddy bear. He shook it with little hope, only to hear the splash of liquid within. With a feeling of relief at perhaps gaining some aesthetic against Atonomatsuri's words, Zaraki quickly opened the bottle and raised it to his lips.

"Don't drink that. It's a bad idea to drink that. I would definitely advise against drinking that. Put it down. It's dangerous." Beak outstretched, Atonomatsuri tried to knock the bottle from Zaraki's hand. He lifted it higher and paused for a moment.

"If you tell me the secret and let me out of here, I won't drink it. I won't even ask the reason. Deal?" While he made the offer, Zaraki had little hope that it would be accepted.

"I'll tell you a secret it if you don't drink it." The wheedling tone in Atonomatsuri's voice was ugly to Zaraki's ears. Ignoring the impulse to respond immediately, he considered her counter-offer.

"You said a secret, not the secret." If he wasn't careful the secret she revealed would not be the secret she promised.

Atonomatsuri tried to look innocent, and failed. "A secret is a secret."

"Death! No it isn't. I'm going to drink this unless you tell me the important secret. The one you used to get me to summon you." Zaraki started tipping the bottle to his mouth.

'Stop. I don't want to tell you that secret yet." While trying to dash the bottle from his hand again, Atonomatsuri accidentally cut it with her beak. The blood dripped from the wound onto the teddy bear. Atonomatsuri grabbed the teddy bear in her beak and backed away, shaking her head nervously. "This is not good. This is very bad."

Quizzically, Zaraki looked at the vulture. "What's so bad about that, aside from the fact you cut me? I wanted to cut you. Are you trying to avoid giving me an answer again? Is that's what's so bad?" Was this an overreaction or was it another means of control? She didn't want to tell him anything that would be of use.

"You bled on the teddy bear. When we fought here before, no blood touched the teddy bear. I made sure of that. Now it has. Blood is thicker than water. Your blood is tainted. The bear bears blood."

As he looked closer at his zanpaku-to's physical materialization, Zaraki was amazed to see that she was trembling. Her feathers were quivering and the clock faces in her eyes had turned from white to yellow. "So what? There's blood. I've bled on things before. Unlike Kurotsuchi my blood isn't acid. It won't hurt the bear. I don't know why you're carrying on like this. Is it another excuse? So you don't have to tell me a secret, or the secret, or any secret?"

"You don't understand. You bled on the bear. We've got to clean it, quick. Use the liquid in the bottle. Use it to wash off the blood. Hurry!" Atonomatsuri was holding the bear up to Zaraki, an imploring look in her disconcerting yellow eyes.

"This is just an excuse to make me empty this bottle so I won't drink it, isn't it?" Zaraki laughed harshly at the bird. "Good try. You keep telling me I don't understand. It's possible I don't understand because you don't explain. I'm drinking this. I'm not wasting it to wash some blood off a benighted teddy bear." Again Zaraki raised the bottle to his lips.

"It's not sake in the bottle. Please, use the liquid to wash the blood off before it dries. We don't have long. The bottle will refill later. Don't drink it. You won't like the result. It will make you forget everything. I told you, the objects you find in your mind are symbols. Quick Zaraki. I'm begging you." The vulture had moved closer, her neck stretched to the full extent as she proffered the bear to Zaraki, imploringly.

The use of his name made Zaraki pause, as did the tone in Atonomatsuri's voice. She sounded desperate and for once the words held the ring of truth. Sighing and disappointed, he poured the liquid over the teddy bear. As soon as the liquid touched the bear, the blood vanished as if it had never existed.

"It's not too late." Atonomatsuri shut her eyes, her whole form relaxing after she saw the blood disappear. "The liquid made the bear forget he was stained with blood. That was close." She moved away from Zaraki and placed the teddy bear on a shaky bookshelf that Zaraki hadn't noticed before.

"Where did that come from? What was the crisis with the bear? What do you mean the sake would make me forget? What's the damned secret? Why don't you explain anything?" As he asked the questions, Zaraki found his voice becoming louder and he moved closer to the bird. He put out his cut hand to pick up the bear. Atonomatsuri blocked his hand with her beak.

"Don't touch the bear while you're still bleeding. Haven't you worked out anything, you fool? The bear should not be marked with blood. As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly." Atonomatsuri's fury was intense.

Zaraki felt his temper rise in response to hers. "Answer the bloody questions, you useless collection of decaying flesh. How am I supposed to know anything about this? You won't tell me. Who else can? You hate it when you have to tell me anything. You resist as much as possible. Give me an answer, now." Zaraki had drawn his zanpaku-to as he spoke and held the point at the eye that looked like a stopped clock.

Atonomatsuri backed away, until she was hard against the bookcase. She still appeared furious, but her fury was tempered with fear. "Which question do you want answered? Everyone pushes a falling fence. The book case was here originally, but it was just shards of wood." Shutting her beak tightly, she lifted her head, trying to move her eye away from the point of the blade.

"I didn't want that question answered. Answer all the questions or you'll need an eye patch. I don't think it'd suit you." Zaraki moved the point of the blade centimetres from Atonomatsuri's eye. This time he was unwavering in his resolve to get the answers he sought.

Atonomatsuri shut her eyes and leant her head back as far as she could. "The eye patch doesn't suit you either, Kenny. The liquid in the sake bottle is the liquid of forgetfulness. It's a symbol. I keep telling you that everything that is in your mind is a symbol for something, a concept, idea. If you drank it the liquid, you would forget everything. Remember, many people seek forgetfulness in the bottom of a bottle. That bottle, that liquid is a symbol of the things you have forgotten, the things you want to forget and the things you cannot remember, no matter how hard you try. I've answered your question."

Thinking about the explanation made Zaraki feel odd. "You haven't answered all the questions. If you give me the answers, then I won't blind this eye. Start talking."

* * *

_Author's Note:_

Zaraki won't be kept in his mind as long as last time, Atonomatsuri permitting. The story is approaching a rather interesting point, one I have been planning for some time. The next chapter will provide the opportunity to convince the vulture to divulge an important secret.

I know there was micro second of romance (?). If you blinked, you may have missed it. I'll try not to let it happen again.

The poem excerpt that Atonomatsuri quotes is by T. S. Elliott. I'm not stating the title because that would spoil my fun and I like my fun.

The I Ching is a Chinese method of divination which can be consulted for advice on specific matters. You think of a question as you throw coins and then look up the resulting trigram in a book. There is usually an explanation of the meaning and a commentary.

Review please. I appreciate the support and try to listen to any ideas.

As for the possible spin off romance story between Zaraki and Retsu, I'm still thinking about it.

MS


	19. Key to Sorrow

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Key to Sorrow**

"Remove the point. I get the point. There is no point. Get to the point. What is the point of existence without love and friendship?" As usual Atonomatsuri started to gabble meaninglessly. Zaraki had almost expected it.

"Tell me. I'm sick of this; your stale adages and your stupid methods to avoid telling me the truth." Zaraki began to move the point of the blade closer. He didn't care if he blinded her. If he did, maybe she would take him seriously. It was an unlikely possibility.

"I don't explain anything? I explain everything. You never listen. God will listen to you whatever cloak you wear. If you were as intent on my words as you are on my harm you would know all." The words did not quite ring true, even though Atonomatsuri tried to appear sincere.

"You said once before you hated telling me the truth. I know you're lying. Why do you think I'll believe you? Why do you hate telling me the truth? You keep using words about truth and the importance of truth and then you won't tell me the truth." Zaraki sighed harshly and rested the point of his zanpaku-to on her eyelid.

"It won't work Kenny. It won't work on me, remember. The power of 'too late'." Atonomatsuri voice wavered as she tried to back away. There was no further room behind her. She was trapped.

"I never understood what you said about that either. Are you ready?" Zaraki decided that now he had the advantage, he would keep it.

"Stop. I'll tell you. Ask me a question, any question. I'll answer it." The scream that the vulture uttered, made Zaraki pause. He'd never heard her scream like that before.

Which question should he ask? The secret, he'd ask about the secret. That was why he was in his mind anyway.

"Tell me the secret." Zaraki uttered the words clearly and loudly.

He thought he saw the bird pale at the question. Her black feathers turned a dark grey and she swallowed convulsively.

"You said if I summoned you, you would tell me the secret. I get the feeling that you don't want to tell me, that you never intended to tell me. Am I right?" Without waiting for the answer, Zaraki knew the bird did not want to respond.

"I'll tell you about the 'too late' power, properly this time." Atonomatsuri's voice was small as she made the offer.

"Too late. I wonder if this will hurt." Zaraki started applying force to the blade. The eyelid began to bleed. Atonomatsuri pushed back again and the book case fell over. She fell with it, somersaulting clumsily as she tumbled and for a few seconds lay sprawled on the ground. Zaraki was too late to blind the eye. Atonomatsuri quickly got to her feet and backed away further.

"I told you it wouldn't work, it would be too late. I told you." The words were triumphant, the tone was fearful.

"It could have worked the other way. The book case could have fallen over too late to save your eye. Careful not to bleed on the bear, bird. Your eyelid is bleeding." Zaraki was disappointed at the opportunity lost. If the bookcase had stood for a minute longer, maybe she would have explained. He began to slowly move toward her.

"I know my eyelid is bleeding. The blood is running into my eye. I'm not as thick as you, Kenny. I do recognize and dislike pain. I notice when I bleed. I don't like to be injured." Her voice rose as she spoke.

Zaraki cut her off. "Don't start that again. Every time we talk it always comes back to your pain, and then you crap on. I don't want to hear it. Tell me the secret." He was getting closer.

"I'll explain about the teddy bear. It's important you know, Kenny. Very important. Life is a treasure hunt, love is the treasure." Atonomatsuri was keeping as far from Zaraki as she could. Every so often she shook her head, trying to get the blood and tiny maggots out of her eye. Wiping the eye with the wing seemed ineffective.

"Always the bloody bear, except it's not bloody now. I told you once before. I'm not interested in the bear." The nightmare bird was talking in circles again. In fact she was backing from him in circles. What sort of thing was she planning now?

"The bear represents all the love you have, all the good feelings, the friendships. It's small. Only a small bear because you distrust those emotions. You can't bleed on the bear. Otherwise it will kill all your love, all your friendship. ." Atonomatsuri fell silent and looked at Zaraki with a piercing gaze.

"Frigging hell! Damn you to the inner circle of Hades! You continue to talk rot. I knew you'd talk about love. I'm not interested in that stuff." Zaraki was disgusted with the latest 'truth' revealed by the bird. She was doing this to distract him from the secret she had pledged to impart. What use had he for love?

Flapping her wings, as if preparing to fly, Atonomatsuri glared at Zaraki. "I told you before, you can't deny love…" Atonomatsuri's words were cut short as Zaraki lunged at her with his zanpaku-to and managed to stab her through a wing. She shrieked in outrage as the blade cut through the membrane.

"Hah. The 'too late' power didn't work that time. Do you ever bloody listen to me? Do you need your hearing checked? I didn't know zanpaku-to's could be deaf." Zaraki was tied of her comments and decided that jeering at her might make her defensive. She was constantly jeering at him.

"You're deaf. Deaf to reason; deaf to common sense. You need to understand about the bear, otherwise you will be lost. If you bleed upon the bear, you are bleeding on your representation of love and all the other good emotions. If your blood stains the bear, your love will lie bleeding. It will destroy the bear, and your ability to love and form friendships. All your kinder emotions will be gone from your mind and you will return…" Atonomatsuri abruptly stopped in the middle of the sentence. "Love, pain, and money cannot be kept secret; they soon betray themselves. The bear is important, Kenny. Don't bleed on the bear. The bear is the reason you saved Yachiru. Yachiru is one of the reasons you have survived. At first the bear was tiny, almost impossible to see. Even you must notice it has grown since you were last in your mind." Atonomatsuri had pulled her wing free of the blade and was again walking backwards.

"That's a great thought. If I form more friendships, I'll have a giant toy bear in my mind. It almost makes me feel like bleeding on the bear on purpose." Zaraki began weaving cautiously toward the vulture.

She was watching him closely, copying his movements so she maintained her distance from him. Blood and maggots were dripping from the wing as she phased between whole and decomposing. Zaraki wasn't sure, but there may have been fewer maggots, and they looked less defined than the last time he'd made her bleed. Atonomatsuri seemed to be a little less decomposed in that phase too. Zaraki shrugged. It didn't matter. He had to get out of his mind. The secret was no longer important. Trying to extract facts from the bird was disturbing as she kept providing irrelevant information. He hated being trapped in his mind with her as his only method of escape. Briefly he hoped that there was another method of leaving his mind, aside from being stung by the barb in her tongue. Realistically he knew if there was another method Atonomatsuri would not use it.

Their eyes fixed on each other, the two circled each other, warily. Neither gaining the advantage; the same distance always being maintained. It was tedious. Nothing was happening. Zaraki was losing patience. He stood still. Atonomatsuri continued to circle for a few seconds until she noticed he was no longer moving. Craning her neck, the vulture seemed to be confused at Zaraki's change of tactic.

"Keep your secrets and lies. I want to go back. There is no point in being here. I've learnt bugger all and you won't tell me anything I want to know." Zaraki let all the disgust he felt at this situation show in his voice. He sheathed his zanpaku-to.

"Time is short. Time flies. Time is running out." Atonomatsuri again appeared nervous as she spoke.

Sighing heavily, Zaraki sat down. "I'm not going to stand around while you jabber on. I suppose you have something you have to tell me and you will tell me because it affects you. I hope it's not that the Winds of sodding Change are returning. I'm fed up with them." Zaraki looked at the bird, considering her attitude. He wondered how long it would take her to reveal whatever it was she was going to say.

"I have to tell you how to control your reiatsu. You have to learn to wield me in my other form."

Atonomatsuri's confession stunned Zaraki. She was actually going to tell him something useful? He shook his head in disbelief and decided that she would probably mention about the two eye patches again. "Get on with it. How do I control it? That stupid idea about two eye patches? I'll cut you again if you suggest it."

"I won't mention the two eye patches again. Listen to me Kenny. This is important. If you don't control your reiatsu we won't be able to work together. You'll never reach bankai. Whatever Retsu makes won't work, because even though it the poison does control reiatsu, it is still poison. Do you understand?" The bird was speaking very seriously, almost hypnotically.

"No. I don't understand. Why now? Why's it important now, when you've had the chance to tell me before? You've mocked me about this. There has to be a reason. Tell me." Zaraki knew there was a motive behind the offer. He did not trust the offer or Atonomatsuri. Past experience had made it difficult, if not pointless to foster trust.

"Never look a gift horse in the mouth. Why do you question me again when you should just accept? Will you never learn? Never will you learn. Why explain when you should accept." The babble of Atonomatsuri's words did not distract Zaraki.

"Cut the crap. Tell me the reason or I'll bleed on the bear, or beat you senseless, or drink the stuff in the sake bottle. Hell, why don't I do all three, just for the hell of it? Might make the time pass until you let me out of here." Zaraki folded his arms and contemplated the vulture who seemed nonplussed by his manner.

"Why are you making those threats? I'm going to tell you something important, Kenny. You should listen to me. You have to listen to me!" Her feet started shifting again as she talked. She shifted from one foot to the other, unwillingly.

"So you don't want to tell me. I remember last time you did that dance. You had to tell me, but you didn't want to tell me. Okay. I'm feeling tolerant. What stupid instruction are you going to provide me this time? Oh, that's right. How to control my reiatsu. Get on with it. I'm listening, for the moment." Zaraki's tone was dry as he waited for the inevitable insults and obscure instructions.

Atonomatsuri gazed at Zaraki uncertainly. "They who know the truth are not equal to those who love it, and they who love it are not equal to those who find pleasure in it. I find pleasure in the truth."

"Liar," Zaraki cut in. "Just tell me what I need to know. I don't give a damn about the rest." Why the bird used any opportunity to speak rubbish eluded him. Nor did he care.

"I do not like your attitude Kenny boy. In spite of your prejudice I will tell you. To control your reiatsu you need to learn a new way to control your thoughts. Thoughts and emotions are the key to reiatsu."

"That sounds like garbage to me. Are you saying I'm an emotional wreck and that's why I can't control my reiatsu? I don't want to listen anymore." Zaraki was outraged by the suggestion.

"I haven't finished. I'm not saying that your emotions or your thoughts are your reiatsu; I said they are the key to your reiatsu. You don't hold back, Kenny. When you're angry, people know it. When you're fighting and happy about it, that too is obvious. It's the key, but not the whole answer. We have to work on your emotions. When you think something, you normally say it." Atonomatsuri provided the information reluctantly. She hesitated before each sentence. Her head wagged as she spoke, and she continued to shift from foot to foot.

"Keys? What in the name of the devil are you talking about? Keys? Do you think this is a game of some kind?" Zaraki was frustrated by yet another obscure reference. What did she mean by her words? "I thought you were finally going to explain the too late thing. Explain that first."

"Patience is the key to joy; but haste is the key to sorrow. It is all of one piece. Once you can control your reiatsu and control the size of the blade, then I can explain the first tranche of power of 'too late'. You allow your emotions to rule your thoughts. That cannot be." Atonomatsuri did not quaver as she uttered the words, but the shifting speed from foot to foot, increased.

"There's something you have to tell me. I remember from last time. You have to tell me something and you're resisting. You have to tell me, but you don't want to. Do you want me to help you out like last time?" Zaraki grabbed at Atonomatsuri from the sitting position, but he was too late as she quickly shifted her location. He got to his feet so he could move more quickly.

"I don't want your large, unattractive feet on my wings again. You hurt me last time. He who plots to hurt others often hurts himself. You can only hurt yourself if you hurt me, Kenny. We have to work together." Atonomatsuri was continuing to shift her feet.

"Can you explain simply, in words I can understand, without adages and without the normal long winded attempt to distract me? Is that even possible? I knew it was a mistake to say your name. I must have been under the influence of the sake. That's a good reason not to drink. It means I end up stuck in my mind with you. I've had enough of this. Tell me, don't tell me. Let me leave." Zaraki turned his back on Atonomatsuri, no longer wishing to look at the creature.

"I can't. Don't you understand? Are you being stupid on purpose Kenny? You have to listen. When we sing everybody hears us, when we sigh nobody hears us." Atonomatsuri was interrupted by a yell of rage.

"You want me to listen to you, but you won't bloody listen to me you thrice damned bird. I asked you a question. I requested that you explain without the unimportant stuff and yet you continue to do what you want, say what you want and insult me. You want my mind to rule my feelings?" Zaraki quickly unsheathed his zanpaku-to and swung it at the bird while he spoke. His level of frustration and anger was greater than he could believe, but he knew that she might be focusing on his words and would not manage to avoid the moving sword. Tactically he used a left handed blow as her head was placed to the right. Instead of acting instinctively in his attack he used his judgment and waited until she blinked before he swung the blade. He focused his reiatsu at the same time to overpower the bird. To his shock the blade lodged deeply into the side of the vulture as she moved, just too late, to avoid the cut.

Atonomatsuri glanced down at the zanpaku-to lodged in her side in wonderment. Her eyes did not seem to accept that it was really there. "How did you do that? Did you actually think about what you were doing? I know you were angry, but did you think about it? Think with the wise but walk with the vulgar. I think you thought." Her eyes shut and she collapsed with the zanpaku-to still stuck in her side.

Zaraki slowly removed the blade from her and prodded her with his foot. She did not move. Wiping the blade on some nearby wild grass, Zaraki wondered briefly if he'd killed her. It seemed unlikely. She'd said before that he could not kill her with herself or some such jumbled words. At least she was quiet. Her wound bled the mixture of blood and maggots. Again Zaraki noticed that there seemed to be fewer maggots and more blood.

Emotion and thought. Acting with emotion, but thinking at the same time, he managed to overcome her resistance and make her too late to move. For once it appeared that Atonomatsuri had told the truth. The emotion he understood best was anger. He had used his anger in the past for a variety of reasons, but using it with thought was disturbing. When he had first started fighting he had used instinct more than logic. As his fighting abilities increased he relied solely on his judgment and less on his instinct and emotion. He had never used his thoughts and emotion to try to focus his reiatsu before this.

Looking at Atonomatsuri, he noticed that she looked less decayed than before. Behind her, the bookshelf had reformed and looked stronger. In the sky a planet appeared to be reforming as he watched. Zaraki shook his head. This was seriously weird. Then he realized he was thinking and understanding again. The vulture had told him this would happen. He rested his chin in his hand as he looked at his fallen foe. He wanted her to wake up so that he could call the new blade form. If he could focus his reiatsu, the blade might be smaller. It was even possible that she might be persuaded to explain the 'too late' power. It was more probable that she would make him suffer for cutting her. Shrugging, he realised he had no command over that.

Prodding Atonomatsuri with his foot, again, he noticed that the wound appeared to be closing. He tried to focus his reiatsu on the wound to make it heal faster, but couldn't. He tried again and failed. The third time his frustration was roused. "I've done this before. I know how to do it. I've got to work out what I need to do..." As his thoughts were forming, Zaraki found he was again controlling his reiatsu. The control was much weaker, but he directed it at the cut in Atonomatsuri's side and noticed it was healing quicker. He smiled. Maybe this was not the impossible task he had thought it would be.

"Thank you." Zaraki was startled by Atonomatsuri's words and looked at the vulture lying at his feet. Her eyes were open, but seemed not to be able to see clearly.

"You thanked me? Why?" During all the conversations with Atonomatsuri, Zaraki could not remember a time when she had thanked him before. He'd thanked her twice, sarcastically, when she had annoyed him.

"You tried to heal me. After you tried to kill me, you healed me." Atonomatsuri slurred her words. It was apparent that she was not fully aware of what she was saying.

"I was practicing control of my reiatsu. That's all. Healing you was a side effect, nothing more. Don't think it was anything else and don't make a big deal of it. Understand?" Zaraki did not want her to get the wrong idea. If he'd really thought about it he could have used the reiatsu to make the wound worse.

"You didn't have to heal me. You could have made the wound worse. There was a chance for you to kill me, not that you could, but you didn't take it. Thank you." Her voice strengthened. "That is the first intentionally kind action you have performed for me."

"Could you listen to me? I said don't make a big deal out of it. It was an accident." Zaraki heard the rage in his voice. He didn't want the bird to think he was getting soft. Had she known he regretted not making the injury worse?

"I knew you could do it, Zaraki. I knew you could learn. Who dares, wins. Now you will be able to control the size of the blade. It means you might be able to understand the first part of the powers I can give you. I could not have taught you this before. Your mind had to heal to this level before you could focus your reiatsu. As it continues to heal, your control will grow." Atonomatsuri blinked at Zaraki slowly.

Zaraki stared back at her. It seemed wrong to hear praise from her beak. It seemed even stranger to hear her offer to provide information without the usual blather, insults and inexplicable instructions. The praise, the thanks made him feel off centre and worried. Atonomatsuri looked at her shinigami.

"If you can focus your thoughts and emotions the way you have, you can also use the power of too late. You have to maintain the focus, or the power will work against you. It is a chancy power. You've invoked it by accident when we were fighting. Your anger and desire for my destruction focused your attention, but you didn't have enough will to maintain the focus." Atonomatsuri spoke slowly, nodding her head as she spoke.

For once Zaraki followed her words closely. He understood them and the concepts behind the explanation. Without noticing it, his lips stretched into a smile as he listened. The bird was actually telling him something he wanted to hear. He would be able to gain more power and strength. His rage had gone and he found he could look at Atonomatsuri without the loathing he normally felt.

"Why do you look different?" The words blurted out of Zaraki's mouth before he could prevent them. He'd asked the question without intention.

Atonomatsuri looked astounded at the question. "You noticed? Never dismiss the element of surprise. You've surprised me, Kenny. Think about why. Use that rusty mind of yours to contemplate the answer."

Zaraki opened his mouth to protest, but Atonomatsuri kept talking.

"I'll return you to your world now. Tomorrow, try using the blade again. I'm too tired to try to help you at the moment. I need to sleep. A quiet conscience sleeps in thunder. To die, to sleep, to sleep, perchance to dream." She yawned loudly, her beak stretching wide.

Zaraki shuddered at the mention of the word, dream. His dream had caused this interlude in his mind. He could see the barb on her tongue waggle as she yawned. He backed away, his memory of the way she returned him to his world surfacing. He didn't want to end up feeling that weak and helpless again.

"Don't worry, Kenny. I won't poison you, this time." There was heavy emphasis placed on the last two words. Atonomatsuri almost seemed to be smiling at Zaraki. "Just close your eyes. This won't hurt."

Thinking it was a mistake, Zaraki shut his eyes, but not completely. He felt himself tense, awaiting the painful sting of the barb and the feeling of weakness spreading through his body. He peered through one eye ready to move out of the way if she tried to poison him again.

Atonomatsuri rubbed her beak over her feathers as if preening. He noticed his vision blur at the edges and opened his eyes fully. He was back in his bed and the bird had vanished. Looking at the time he noticed a minute had passed since he'd summoned the physical manifestation of his zanpaku-to.

Then he realised something and began cursing. She hadn't told him the secret. She'd given him valuable information, but unless the secret was about the bear, the sake or whatever else, the secret she'd promised had not been forthcoming. Damn the creature.

At least he was back in his world. Now he was tired. After rearranging his pillows and making the bed more comfortable, Zaraki lay down and closed his eyes again. He would sleep. He hoped the disturbing dreams would not return again that night.

* * *

Author's Note: 

An apology. In the past, I have repeated some adages. That was wrong and lazy. I am now keeping a list of the adages, quotes etc used in this story. Including this chapter, 204 adages have been used and there's more to come. Keeping the list will mean I won't repeat (I hope). If you have an adage you would like included, let me know. I might be able to use it, if it fits the story line. (I'm going to regret that offer, I just know it.)

Why the wait for the update? Do you really want to know? See my profile page for an explanation, if it's that important. In addition, there was a little difficulty in trying to work out a way for Zaraki to control his reiatsu. Atonomatsuri was of little assistance. If she'd said two eye patches again I was going to let Zaraki kill her.

I am not revealing the name of the poem I quoted last chapter. It will happen, in time.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. A warm thanks to the people who review this story. Your comments and support are appreciated.

Review please.

MS


	20. Captivity and Compensation

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Captivity and Compensation**

When he awoke, Zaraki was reluctant to open his eyes. The blackness behind his lids seemed preferable to viewing his mind again. He thought he'd been returned to his world, but he didn't feel optimistic that Atonomatsuri had left him there. For a few minutes he used his senses. Touch assured him that he was lying in bed, a sheet covering him. The mattress under him felt familiar. He moved and heard the rustle of material as the sheet was displaced while he rearranged himself. The sheets felt damp. He remembered his nightmare and guessed that the perspiration had not yet dried. The sheet seemed to cling to him slightly.

Listening to the sounds from outside, he recognised them as those he normally heard when he woke. The faint sound of a breeze and the voices of people greeting each other as they passed could be faintly distinguished as he listened. The noises were familiar, the sounds he would normally hear in the early morning.

He breathed in the familiar scent of his bedroom: the smell of wood, fabric, sword polish and the gel he used on his hair to make it stand in the spikes he affected. He could not recall any memorable scents when he was taken into his mind. He tried to blunt his senses when he was there.

All this made him certain he was not still stuck in his mind with the unstable vulture. Slowly he opened his eyes and frowned at the ceiling. It was white. Was his ceiling white? Why a white ceiling? It seemed pretty dull, but still it was preferable to the broken fragments of planets, circling haphazardly as they wheeled through the anarchy that was his psyche. A flat white ceiling that did not offer any problems or concerns. It asked no questions or tried to overwhelm his with contradictory information. White. The colour should be changed. After Ayasegawa redecorated his office, if he liked the colour scheme, he'd get him to paint the ceiling something other than white. The redecoration of his office was due to start today.

Thinking about the coming day and his 5th seat made Zaraki feel like he'd forgotten something important. What was it? Something the Captain-General had told him. Zaraki continued to stare at the white ceiling as he tried to remember. The interruption last night and the realisation that his office might be under surveillance had driven the matter out of his mind. White. Something to do with being at 4th Division.

All of a sudden he remembered and sat upright, fast. "Ayasegawa has to be in the cells today because of that incident with stupid Kurotsuchi. There was the curfew thing as well. I forgot to tell him last night. I'll have to let him know, as soon as possible." Zaraki tried to get out of the bed. The sheets seemed reluctant to release him from their soft, damp embrace. He pulled at them and heard a ripping sound as the cloth tore. Swearing under his breath, Zaraki hoped that the sheets would be changed today. They'd been soaked in sweat from his dream and although he wasn't superstitious, he saw them as unlucky. Maybe he'd just throw them out. There was little point in repairing sheets that were torn in two. Zaraki realised he was thinking about sheets and shook his head in repugnance. First colour schemes, redecoration, white ceilings, pink and black vultures and now he was thinking about sheets. This did not convince him that his mind was being repaired. These thoughts seemed to indicate the opposite. Sheets, for the sake of Mephistopheles! Next he'd be contemplating curtains, flower arrangements or something else nauseatingly domestic. It must be the influence of the insect infested vulture.

Tossing the sheets to one side he washed and dressed, spending the time to get his hair arranged to his satisfaction. He then donned his eye patch and went in search of Ayasegawa. It was early, so it was likely he was still asleep. Zaraki made his way to Ayasegawa's quarters hurriedly. The streets were quiet. The sun was partially visible over the horizon and a chorus of birdsong filled the air. The air was fresh and a gentle wind wafted past him.

"Damn birds are making too much noise. Birds are a nuisance." Zaraki thought as he registered the sound.

When he arrived at Ayasegawa's quarters, he opened the door without knocking and yelled, "Wake up and get dressed. I have to talk to you." He didn't bother looking in. If the guy was sleeping with someone, he didn't want to know. Gossip about who was sleeping with who didn't interest him. It was just so much useless information.

Five minutes later, Zaraki impatiently knocked on the door.

"Yes, Captain. I am dressing. Please be patient." Ayasegawa sounded a little put out by the reminder

Zaraki looked at the sky and the surrounding buildings. He hated waiting for anyone. The sky was blue. The buildings were there, not doing anything special. They were white. That colour again. Why was everything black and white? The uniforms, the buildings, the definition of right and wrong. Maybe that was why Kyoraku wore the flowered coat, as a protest against the constant contrast of black and white. He would definitely get his ceiling painted a different colour and his office had to be something other than white. Grey was also out. He tapped his foot wishing he'd something to do while he was waiting. This thinking was pointless. What did it matter what colour anything was? He looked at the sky again and squinted against the sunshine. How long was it going to take this guy to get dressed? He didn't even have to put bells in his hair and Zaraki felt like he'd been waiting for an hour so far.

Standing around, waiting was tedious. It would be better if there was someone to talk to.

"You can always talk to me, Kenny. Never speak ill of yourself; your friends will always say enough on that subject. I just thought you needed a little reminder of how important speech is. What do you want to talk about?" Atonomatsuri almost sounded eager to converse. Remembering his last interchange with her, made Zaraki pause.

"Come on Kenny. Talk to me," Atonomatsuri cajoled. "Say what you mean, but mean what you say. I helped you last night didn't I? Show some gratitude."

Zaraki almost let out a yell at the last remark. "Helped me? I worked it out myself. How did you help me? You had to tell me, for some reason you won't disclose, but even then you didn't make it easy. Confound it, you flying flea circus. I don't see why you expect gratitude."

"Deny that you managed to focus your reiatsu." The short succinct sentence was unusual.

"I'd already managed it once. Even you admitted that. You didn't help. Just gave me some garbled double talk about the usual rubbish. I'm not talking to you. Shut your yapping beak and find someone else to annoy." Once more Zaraki was reminded of the futility in trying to argue with the vulture. He could almost predict that she was going to annoy him about some trivial issue. Distracting himself, he wondered when he would have a chance of trying out the new, useable form of his zanpaku-to. He'd hoped to have the time today, but he knew that events might prevent him. Life was complicated when there were underlying machinations he was still trying to comprehend.

Atonomatsuri coughed and said lightly, "I can only talk to you, Kenny. I seek not to aggravate; I simply advise and enlighten. If you are too stubborn to understand and appreciate my help and generosity, I am broken."

"I wish you were," Zaraki muttered.

He heard the sound of a door opening and saw his 5th seat emerging from his quarters. Ayasegawa looked fresh and his uniform was immaculate. His hair was perfectly arranged and he appeared relaxed as he walked gracefully toward his captain. Zaraki felt like a bag of dirty laundry next to him, but that feeling passed without it even registering.

Why worry about his appearance? If he cared about that, he'd have obtained a new captain's coat before this. The one he wore was a badge of honour. It restated that he was the only captain who had obtained his position by defeating the previous holder of the title. Even if he had a new coat, he would make it resemble this one. He wouldn't let anyone forget his origins. That would be false and a denial of whom he was.

"As honoured as I am that you came to wake me personally, Captain, I must admit I am curious as to the reason. Is there another problem? Is our favourite captain paying you unwelcome attention once more? It's a pity you're so attractive to him. Maybe you should explain to him you're not that type of captain." Ayasegawa smiled sightly at his attempt at humour.

Zaraki frowned heavily. He didn't find that remark amusing. It was revolting. "It does have something to do with Kurotsuchi. You are to be confined to the cells today and you're under curfew for a week. Curfew doesn't apply if you're with me, so last night shouldn't be an issue."

Ayasegawa's eyebrows lifted so high that they nearly disappeared into his hairline. "What have I done to offend you so much that I need to be confined to the cells? I thought I would start redecorating your office today."

"I didn't order it, you twit. Kurotsuchi complained to the Captain-General about that night in 4th Division. He was whining about the fact that you drew you zanpaku-to on a superior officer. You're not the only one to be confined to a cell. That guy from 4th Division will be confined as well. It's only for a day. I wanted to argue, but it's not a serious punishment. I'll bring you the paperwork so you have something to do." Zaraki grinned at the thought.

Ayasegawa sucked in his cheeks. He seemed to be considering his options. Zaraki watched the play of expressions cross his face. He wondered how long this was going to take.

"A case of sake, dinner tonight and private bathhouse privileges for a month. Oh, and a weeks leave in the human world with some money and I'll do it without complaining." Ayasegawa laid out his price.

"Didn't you hear me talk to Yachiru about bribery? It's not honest." Zaraki couldn't prevent the smile at the list provided.

"It's not bribery. It's payment for the paperwork, and the indignity of being placed in a cell. You're making all sorts of new friends recently, aren't you Captain?" Ayasegawa smiled at his captain, showing his sharp white teeth. "Why should I suffer unrewarded because the clown captain can't withstand your irresistible charm?"

"I'm tired of that joke already. You know I can't stand the idiot. That last comment cancelled any possibility of your request being granted." The thought of the clown captain this early in the morning made Zaraki feel nauseous. As he considered the matter, he realised that he would prefer to talk to Atonomatsuri than Kurotsuchi.

"That's not fair, captain. I was there to protect you and I did. If you want me to do the paperwork while I spend the day in a cell, I want some form of compensation." Ayasegawa seemed indignant at the denial of his demands.

"You ask too much." Zaraki looked closely at his 5th seat. If he made any further comments about Kurotsuchi, he'd get nothing except curfew for a month. "Ask for less."

Ayasegawa rested his chin on his hand as he considered the issue. He pursed his lips and his eyes seemed to be looking at something only he could see. "Two days in the human world with enough money to have fun and a case of sake, the good stuff and I want to go out tonight, even thought I'm under curfew. You'll pay."

Zaraki had guessed this would be the demand. The most expensive requests. It didn't matter. He felt he owed him. "Okay. We better move quickly. We don't want to keep the Captain-General waiting."

They walked up the street, Zaraki striding at his normal pace, Ayasegawa hurrying to keep up. The street was less quiet and they passed a number of shinigami who called greetings or smiled at them. As they turned the corner, Zaraki noticed Madarame ambling along, his hands tucked into his sash. He stopped as he saw Ayasegawa and Zaraki emerge from the side street.

"I was coming to visit you, Yumichika. Good morning, Captain. You're up early again this morning. Where are you going in such a hurry?" Madarame enquired politely. He glanced from Zaraki to Ayasegawa and back again as if wondering what they were doing together.

"I'm being confined to the cells today." Ayasegawa was brief and to the point. They continued walking and Madarame fell into step with them.

"What? You? You never do anything wrong, well not so it's noticed. I don't believe this." Madarame sounded indignant at the revelation. "Let him off, Captain."

"Not my choice, Madarame. It's because of that idiot, Kurotsuchi. Ayasegawa and a shinigami from 4th Division are confined to the cells for the day and are under curfew for the week. The clown captain whined to the Captain-General that he was attacked. At least Ayasegawa has agreed to do the paper work."

"The clown captain again. I want to see the colour of that jerk's intestines. I'm sure they're full of s…" Madarame stopped himself just in time. "Sorry, Captain." Madarame did not sound very apologetic.

They walked in silence, Zaraki reflecting on how much influence the 12th Division captain was having in his life, on his Division. He'd prefer to choose who he would have influencing him. He was the captain, damn it! The clown captain was a worthless menace.

Rounding another corner, Zaraki saw Yachiru skipping down the street. "Ken-chan, I was looking for you. I went to your place but you weren't home. Where are you going? Can I come too? Is it a party, or a fight?" While she was talking she leapt onto Zaraki's back and took her usual position.

As he explained the situation again, as briefly as he could, Zaraki pondered the circumstances. It was time for some comeback. How could he best discomfort and disconcert Kurotsuchi with the least amount of blame? If he could think of something that might focus his attention elsewhere. But what were his weak points?

While Zaraki thought about it he realised he'd never seen the captain without his make-up. He wondered briefly what he looked like. Would he look normal without all the camouflage, or would he appear as a monster? The guy was reportedly a poor substitute for the brilliance of Kisuke Urahara. Why the Captain-General had allowed that creative genius to leave unchallenged he didn't know. They were poorly served by the replacement.

Kurotsuchi's greed was renowned. He did not like to share information, or release any new innovations that would benefit him if he kept them back. He had tried to tap into the files left by Urahara, but failed to break the encoding that protected them. Zaraki remembered the times that the 12th Division Captain had begged the Captain-General leave to abduct the former captain to interrogate him. He'd tried to disguise it as something else: regaining Seireitei's honour, recovering a dangerous defector and other assorted excuses. If Urahara came back, Kurotsuchi would have to get the information quickly and kill him. Remembering that Urahara still had friends in the Gotei 13, made Zaraki realise that this action would be foolish. There would be consequences if Urahara was killed. Greed for knowledge and power was overriding Kurotsuchi's common sense.

"When you're released tonight, why don't we return to that sake house? I feel like a game of Cheat. We didn't finish last night. I'll pay." If Kurotsuchi was trying to undermine 11th Division, they needed to plan. His office wasn't safe and he wanted the combined devious minds of his friends to help him create a strategy. This would be part of the reward for Ayasegawa. Maybe he would invite Retsu. She was unexpectedly tricky, and had a score to settle with the clown captain. She might be able to contribute some ideas.

He felt the silence as his subordinates registered that he was again seeking a private conference.

"Yeah, fine. I've got nothing planned." Madarame's answer was carefully casual.

"Can we invite Lolly? She might bring some more lollies for me? I'll ask her when I go to visit Piecrust today." Yachiru's greed at the thought of more sweets was obvious. Zaraki grinned. She was making this too easy.

"I suppose you'll wish to discuss colour schemes at the same time?" Ayasegawa offered another distracting comment.

"I've thought about that. I don't want white, black, grey or pink. And no orange." Zaraki remembered that conversation from last night.

"You're making this more difficult, Captain. I will consider it a challenge." Ayasegawa pressed his lips together. He almost frowned, but stopped himself in time.

A further thought struck Zaraki. "What about the training? What's happening with that today?" Training was essential. They'd made a good start, but it was vital that the discipline was maintained.

"I gave them the morning off to talk to their zanpaku-to's. Surely you've noticed the increased babble and noise. Hearing that you had started talking to yours has really motivated the Division. No one has requested that they be allowed to use kido. I wonder why." Madarame smiled nastily as he made the final comment.

For a second Zaraki wondered why he'd mentioned kido. Then he remembered the 'fight' between Madarame and Piecrust. Piecrusts' dismal failure in his use of kido plainly entertained Madarame. It amused Zaraki also. He smiled, and then he laughed. "That comes as no shock. I wonder how many learnt the first biding spell from your little display yesterday. That means we have training this afternoon. Anything special planned." He looked covertly at his third seat.

"Yeah, I have something in mind. How about we fight, Captain? Let me have a real challenge." Madarame did not look at his captain as he made the suggestion. Zaraki wondered why. As he walked, he thought about the proposal.

"You don't want me to summon the new form of my blade in front of everyone, do you? I don't want to go public with it yet."

"I want to see it before the rest of the Division," Ayasegawa protested.

"No. I didn't mean that at all." Madarame stopped walking. The other stopped and looked at him.

"Recently you've only been fighting people with basic skills. They don't last more than a minute at most. All the members of the Division are in awe of your fighting expertise, but they might forget how good you are. If you fight me, they will get a better appreciation of the skills they should try for. Anyway, fighting Yumichika made me remember how much I enjoy a good fight. I hadn't had a decent challenge since the ryoka left. How about it, Captain?" Madarame was intense in his request.

Zaraki was taken aback. Madarame was correct. It had been some time since he felt as if he faced a challenge. Fighting the bird was hard because of all the other factors, but he didn't enjoy fighting her. Either she gave up, or talked too much, or poisoned him. A good fight would stretch his muscles and help him prepare for wielding his new zanpaku-to.

"Okay. Sounds like fun. You won't hold back, will you?" He gave his third seat a searching look and commenced walking again. His subordinates followed.

"Unfair. I want to see the fight too." Ayasegawa seemed petulant at being excluded.

"I'll fight both of you tomorrow. That should be entertaining, oh, yeah, and instructive. Are you game?" This plan was even better.

"If that's all you're prepared to offer, then I reluctantly agree." Ayasegawa, looked ahead and announced, "We're here."

Guards emerged from the building and took Ayasegawa inside. The Captain-General appeared through the doorway, obviously alerted by the guards.

"Thank you for making this easy, Captain Zaraki. I will release Ayasegawa at night fall. I would ask that you return to escort him as he is under curfew. I imagine you will be sending the paperwork for him to complete?" The Captain-General guessed correctly.

"Uh, yeah. It'll keep him busy." Zaraki looked vigilantly at the Captain-General. He felt there was something he needed to say, but couldn't think what it was.

"Ah, I see the 4th Division Captain is accompanying her delinquent subordinate here. That is good." Yamamoto seemed pleased at the prompt arrival.

Zaraki turned around to see Retsu walking at a dignified pace with Hanatoro following a few steps behind. He did not look happy but Retsu's face was calm.

"I protest this incarceration. I really should be in the cell with those charged." Retsu looked directly at the Captain General.

"We've already talked about this Captain Unohana. We both know the reasons for this and I do not wish to discuss them in public. I am investigating that other matter you brought to my attention and will let you know, in due course, my decision."

Retsu nodded in reply. Her face remained serene, except for a spark of anger in her eyes.

Guards appeared on either side of Hanatoro and he quietly followed them into the building. He gave one brief backward look at his captain and she smiled encouragingly at him.

"I will see you both here at nightfall to collect your subordinates." With those parting words, the Captain-General turned around and re-entered 1st Division.

"Hi Lolly. Do you have any lollies for me?" Yachiru popped up from behind Zaraki's back and joyfully greeted the Captain of the 4th Division.

"Oh, hello Assistant Captain. I didn't see you there. No, I don't have any lollies with me, but I do have some in my office for when you visit today." Retsu smiled sweetly at the pink haired girl. She gave a sideway glance at Zaraki. "Hello Captain, Madarame. I trust you are both well?"

"We're going out again tonight to that place we went last night. Do you want to come? You can bring me more lollies. Ken-chan's going to pay, aren't you Ken-chan?" Yachiru chattered happily almost bouncing up and down on Zaraki's back.

Retsu appeared uncertain about accepting the invitation. She looked at Zaraki and Madarame as if measuring their feelings on the matter. "I'm not sure."

Zaraki nodded slightly at her. He didn't want to make this seem important to any observers.

"We're taking Ayasegawa out for a drink. He hates being locked up and I think the punishment is unjust. It won't break curfew if he's with me. You can bring Hanatoro. And I am paying. Hell, I'll even buy dinner. I owe you a meal for the one you made for me. We need to talk. I've had some ideas about the matter we were discussing last night."

Retsu looked at Zaraki closely. He raised his eyebrows at her and bared his teeth in a travesty of a smile. Comprehension filled her eyes.

"If you're paying, how can I refuse? We'll meet here and go there directly." She smiled at Yachiru. "Do you want to come back with me now for the lollies? I think Piecrust deserves a visitor like you. He caused a few problems last night. I'll be returning him to your division tomorrow, whether he's healed completely or not. I've already had to prevent some people from feeding him a strong laxative. They argued it was fair payback for how he's been treating them. If I don't get back soon I fear he may end up staying with us longer." Her tone was rueful. Zaraki wondered if she regretted preventing members from her division from taking revenge on the jerk.

Yachiru grinned at Retsu. "Yep. I'd love to come. I've got a present for Piecrust, but I'll give it to him later." She jumped down from Zaraki's back and walked up to Retsu. "Come on Lolly," she said tugging her by the hand. "I want to get back and watch Ken-chan fight Baldy. Ken-chan will have fun because he likes a good fight, but he won't try to kill Baldy. Maybe he won't enjoy it so much. Do you want to come and watch? I know who will win. Everyone knows who'll win, but we could always bet on how long it takes." Still chattering she pulled Retsu away, obviously intent on her sweets.

Madarame watched them leave, a frown wrinkling his forehead. He seemed confused during the exchange; as if he felt he was missing something. "Captain, I hope you don't mind me asking, but what's happening with the 4th Division Captain? You visit her, she visits you."

"We both have a problem with a certain captain." Zaraki hissed the answer at his third seat. "We're working together. She helped me when I was trying to find out how to talk to my zanpaku-to. She's a friend."

"But you don't make friends as a rule. Not in other Divisions." Madarame was staring at his captain as if trying to comprehend this change.

Zaraki wondered what Madarame was trying to say. "Get to the point, Madarame. You're not making much sense." He started to walk back to 11th Division.

Madarame seemed nonplussed. "I don't know. Before you tried to talk to your zanpaku-to, you didn't talk to anyone outside our division unless you had to. Now you seem to talk to Captain Unohana nearly every day."

"She helped me and she's trying to help me control my reiat…. Damn, I should have told her I don't need that any more." Zaraki walked on thinking that he had to tell Retsu he had a method for controlling his reiatsu. It was good he didn't have to rely on some potion or drug to control the size of the blade, but he needed to practice.

"Practice makes perfect, Kenny." Atonomatsuri sniggered in his mind.

Zaraki ignored her comment.

"What don't you need anymore?" Madarame seemed very interested in the last remark. His eyes were fixed on his captain as they walked through the now crowded streets.

There seemed to be a number of stalls selling items, but Zaraki wasn't interested and had no desire to purchase anything. Irritated, he did not answer Madarame's question. "Why is it so busy today? Why are all these people swarming around when they should be working?" Zaraki was not happy about the crowds. No one was stupid enough to get in his way, but he had to moderate his speed to navigate the streets.

"It's market day, Captain. It happens once a fortnight." Madarame seemed astonished that his captain had forgotten such a salient fact. "There's the stall that sold those dolls to Yachiru." Madarame indicated a stall to the left.

Zaraki came to a sudden stop and looked in the direction indicated. He quickly walked over to the stall and looked at the dolls on the table. He flushed when he saw one wearing a white coat which had black spiked hair and an eye patch. He also noticed another doll, one with messy orange hair and an overly large zanpaku-to. He scowled at the Ichigo doll. That kid had kept disappearing when he tried to fight him. It almost seemed like he didn't want to fight him. It must have been coincidence.

Looking at the rest of the dolls, he noticed all the captains were represented, even the traitors. All the assistant captains were there, as well as a few other well known shinigami. He picked up a doll which had a bald head and looked at it. He stared at Madarame, then back at the doll, comparing the two. Madarame coloured and grabbed the doll from his captain, obviously angry.

"I didn't see this last night,' he said looking at the doll with loathing.

Scowling harder, Zaraki looked at the stall owner. The stall owner looked unnerved. He kept glancing from the 11th Division Captain doll to Zaraki and back again. He swallowed and then tried to stretch his lips in a smile.

"How's business?" Zaraki asked heavily. He stared hard at the man.

The stall keeper was squat and gave the appearance of a man who enjoyed his food. His face was round and a few double chins drooped down, all but obscuring his neck. His shiny black eyes matched his shiny black hair. Obviously a merchant who knew how to turn a profit, judging from his expensive clothes and demeanour.

"Very good, Captain, Sir. The dolls displayed are the last of the stock I have. They're quite popular. Your doll has been selling very well." The stall keeper tried to smile sycophantically at Zaraki. His lips stretched wide, but his eyes were shadowed with panic.

"Do you have permission to sell these?" Zaraki barked the question at the stall keeper.

"Do I need permission?" The stall keeper asked apprehensively. His eyes did not meet Zaraki's but kept glancing in different directions, as if looking for an escape route.

"From the Captain-General and from all the captains and assistant captains. Yeah, and from Madarame here. You're selling their images, so I think you need their permission. I'll ask it you want, or you can sell me all your stock for a substantial discount." Looking at the dolls had given Zaraki an idea. All the details were not there yet, but he'd work it out in time.

Madarame touched his captain's arm. "What are you doing, Captain?" he hissed. "Why do you want all these dolls?"

"I never thought you'd want to play with dollies, Kenny. When folly passes by, reason draws back. I wonder at your reason, or have you lost your reason?" Atonomatsuri was laughing loudly in his mind.

Zaraki ignored both of them, staring hard at the stall keeper. He'd explain later, but for now he didn't want to take his attention off the man in front of him.

"For you Captain Zaraki, I'm prepared to take a loss," the stall keeper said unhappily unable to remove his eyes from Zaraki's zanpaku-to. He wiped his forehead with a piece of cloth. This made Zaraki notice he was perspiring heavily.

"Pack them up, all of them. Next time you try to sell this type of stuff, I suggest you ask permission from the Captain-General. Get out of Seireitei in the next 10 minutes or I'll teach you how to dance with my zanpaku-to." Zaraki grinned at him viciously.

'I don't want to dance with him, Kenny. He's not my type. I prefer someone who wears glasses, has shoulder length dark, wavy hair and utters enigmatic words." Atonomatsuri commented. Briefly Zaraki wondered who the hell she was talking about. He didn't recognise that description. He shrugged. It wasn't important who the bird liked.

The stall keeper went white while Zaraki talked and paled even further when he smiled. Hurriedly he packed up the dolls with shaking hands, sweat running down his face.

"How much?" Zaraki demanded.

The stall keeper looked at him in a calculating manner and then appeared to remember who he was looking at. Through tight lips he named a price.

"Too high. I'll pay half of that." Zaraki knew the guy was trying to extort money.

"Three-quarters," the stall keeper said faintly. "I'm a business man."

"Not anymore, you're not. Or would you like me to take you to a Captain's meeting and let them decide your fate?" Zaraki considered the matter, wondering what would be the result. He knew some of the Captains would not be happy about the dolls. Captain Soi Fong, for instance. She would categorize the doll to be an insult to her standing and reputation.

Watching his quarry carefully, Zaraki hadn't thought the 'business man' could go any paler, but he did. He almost seemed on the verge of collapse and his eyes were glassy. The dark hair was plastered to his head and his fine clothes were now less impressive, showing wet patches where fear had caused the man to sweat profusely. The salt tang of his fear was manifest in the air.

"You name the price. Anything. Just give me the money." He put the bags which contained all his stock on the table.

Zaraki paid him what he thought was a fair price and watched as the stall keeper, after quickly stowing the money away, take to his heels and run as fast as he could. He left the bags behind.

"Doesn't he want his stall?" Zaraki wondered aloud watching him leave.

"He probably rented it. Captain, in future I'm going to ask you to do all my shopping. I paid half of what you did and only bought two dolls. How many did you buy?" Madarame's tone was filled with admiration and curiosity.

"Huh? I don't know. Here, you take half. We'll take them back to the office." Zaraki smiled as he thought about his sudden inspiration.

"But what do you want them for? I don't understand. You won't give them to Yachiru. She doesn't play with dolls." Madarame seemed to be having difficulty in comprehending the purchase of the dolls.

"I'll tell you later. Let's go." Zaraki hefted his bags and started to walk toward his office, a stern smile playing over his lips. His idea just might work.

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Author's Note:

Thank you to the people who have reviewed this story so far. I appreciate your comments and suggestions. It's great that you're enjoying the story.

Special thanks to Specter von Baron and Solaris Prime for the adages. I couldn't use any of your suggestions in this chapter, but I hope to soon.

I apologise to those of you awaiting the promised romance. I haven't had the time and I keep having new ideas for other stories.

Review and I will update. Who knows? I might explain the reason Zaraki bought the dolls.

MS


	21. Rhubarb, Bets and Rotten Fish Heads

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Rhubarb, Bets and Rotten Fish heads**

On the way back to his office, Zaraki ignored the curious glances as he walked past. He was carrying a few bags. So what? They had dolls in them. He quickly glanced down at the bags and noticed that they just seemed filled with boxes. No one could see the dolls. Why the curious looks? Hadn't they seen him carry bags before?

Then he realised, he was never seen to carry bags unless they contained food or drink, and not often even then. Shopping was not something he normally did, usually instructing others to make his purchases on his behalf. Grimacing to himself, he increased his pace to make the journey shorter. They were near his office and at his speed it shouldn't take very long to reach there. Madarame was struggling to keep up, hampered as he was by the bags.

"Out of condition, are you Madarame? You should be able to run faster than that," Zaraki observed. "Maybe you need training as much as everyone else."

"Give me a break, Captain, these dolls are heavy." Madarame panted as he answered. Zaraki could see the sweat beginning to form on his brow and his colour was not a healthy flush, but a painful scarlet.

"They're not that heavy. Not as heavy as my new zanpaku-to is. Keep up, just around the corner, and we're there. Move it." Zaraki was pleased to see his familiar domain. He wanted to check to see if he what he wanted was included in his purchases.

Madarame did not answer, his focus seemed to be on keeping up with Zaraki and reaching their destination as soon as possible. As soon as Zaraki unlocked the door, Madarame dropped the bags to the floor and slumped into a chair. He leant back and closed his eyes while Zaraki scrutinized him, noticing his face was beaded with perspiration and he swallowed convulsively a few times as if he was trying to prevent himself from vomiting. Suddenly Zaraki realised what was wrong.

"You've got a hangover, haven't you?" Zaraki recognised the signs. He wondered why he hadn't noticed until now, but then remembered all the other matters that had absorbed his attention.

Madarame opened one eye and looked at his captain, guardedly. Shutting his eye, he fanned himself with a hand as if trying to cool down, not answering the question as if hoping Zaraki would let the matter go if he did not reply. He should have known better.

"How bad is it?" It was obvious Madarame did not want to answer, but Zaraki was not about to let it rest. The guy was answerable to him and he should respond without trying to disguise the truth.

"Not too bad." The obvious, unconvincing lie slipped out of Madarame's mouth and he swallowed hard again.

"I can tell it's bad, I've seen you with hangovers before. What did you do? I thought you left when we did?" Zaraki wanted more information. They had agreed to an early night and this hangover smacked of insubordination.

"It was an accident. I bumped into Abarai and he wanted to talk. You remember him, don't you? He was in our Division until he became assistant captain of 6th Division." Madarame kept his eyes closed as he spoke either because he did not want to look at Zaraki, or because he felt ill.

"Yeah, how could I forget? Aizen chucked him out because he was always fighting, or so he said. Abarai should never have joined 5th Division anyway, that bunch of sissy's. I remember the meeting after Abarai's managed to bankai and then used it on his own captain? I admire his grit, but he was pretty stupid to face off Kuchiki with a bankai he's hardly had time to use and it really annoyed that cold fish. It was an interesting meeting when the old man had to convince Kuchiki to keep him as an assistant captain. I can understand his viewpoint; you shouldn't do that to your captain unless you're prepared to kill him or die in the attempt; remember that Madarame." Zaraki paused as he thought. "If you have a hangover, why do you want to fight me? You hate fighting when you have a hangover, because it prevents your enjoyment of the battle and why did you agreed to a two on one fight, when you hate those? One on one is your style. Why did meeting Abarai cause you to drink so much?" This didn't make sense to Zaraki.

"Abarai made a bet with me that I wouldn't fight you today, with a hangover, in front of 11th Division. He knows I hate fighting with one, especially if I have to fight you because I need all my attention to watch your moves. I don't want to lose the bet. I drank so much because he kept pouring them to guarantee that the hangover was genuine and would be this bad. I can't complain too much, at least he was paying. I wasn't thinking when I agreed to the two on one fight as I was trying to stop my guts from spilling their contents. I wonder how Abarai's going with his bet." Madarame smiled mischievously as he sat there, his eyes still shut. "We'll hear about it soon enough. At least I don't mind my bet but he was pretty dumb to agree to the one I suggested."

"Drink some water, fool. Here, eat this; it's left over from last night." Zaraki thrust a bun into Madarame's hand and poured him a glass of water. "I mean now," he said as his subordinate hesitated. "If you're going to vomit, the water will make you vomit anyway and it'll be over with. Eat and drink slowly. I wish I had some of Retsu's hangover cure; that would help really fast. Hold on, she gave me an extra one." Zaraki searched his desk and found the bottle of vile green liquid. He poured it into a glass and taking the bun from Madarame, placed the glass in his hand and forced him to drink it.

Madarame shuddered at the taste and retched. Zaraki remembered how that felt and the awful taste of the liquid, but could summon no sympathy for his third seat. A few seconds later, Madarame appeared a little better and drank the water. He got to his feet and poured some more water. After drinking two more glasses, he blinked and looked at his captain.

"That stuff is disgusting but it works, I've never recovered quicker and the headache's nearly gone. You say Captain Unohana gave it to you? I think you should keep her as a friend, so she keeps supplying it. That liquid is gold." He grabbed the bun and started consuming it as if he had forgotten what food tasted like.

"Yeah, the first time I had it, I didn't believe it would work. In an hour or two you'll feel normal, or as normal as you ever do. What did you bet Abarai?" Zaraki was curious about the sort of twisted idea that Madarame would propose to his friend. If Madarame thought the agreement was dumb, it would be something that would cause humiliation for more than one shinigami.

"I can't tell you. I could tell you about my bet, because you accepted the fight. Abarai must have been really drunk or arrogant to think he'll get away with what he agreed to do, or maybe both. The other problem is we made a whole string of bets that get worse each time. I'm not looking forward to the second one." Madarame had finished the bun and was now at the table looking for more food to eat.

Zaraki shook his head. This was going to be a hard week if Madarame had been making stupid bets. He did this sometimes when he was drunk and felt that he needed to shake up Seireitei a little, which had often meant he ended up in the cells as a result. "How many wagers this time? I thought Abarai had stopped acting like an idiot, at least most of the time, since he became an assistant-captain."

"Five bets each and we have to finish them by the end of the week. Yeah, he has calmed down; this time we don't try to sleep with someone. They're mainly physical or intellectual challenges." Madarame had found and quickly swallowed another bun and was now seated again, eating an overripe banana.

Zaraki made a face at the banana, as he believed overripe bananas were only good as practical jokes, and then he shut his eyes for a moment, as he remembered the bet that Madarame had mentioned. Once before, when Abarai was still in 11th Division, he and the 3rd seat had a string of bets which culminated in them competing to sleep with either Captain Soi Fon or Assistant Captain Ise Nanao. Needless to say, both of them lost the last wager. Neither of them even tried to approach the Captain, common sense winning over the blind optimism of a bet made during a drinking session. The attempts to sleep with the Assistant Captain made them both very unpopular with 8th Division. Captain Kyoraku was affronted by Madarame's attempt and had put aside his laid back persona when he had visited to complain about the incident. Zaraki had never seen him so angry and he'd had to mete out punishment to both Madarame and Abarai for making the bets. They'd been on garbage and latrine duty for a month, as well as under curfew with all privileges denied. It had been an unpleasant month.

"What was it you did, exactly? I forget." Zaraki asked.

"The bet only said sleep; sex was not mentioned. I managed to get into her bedroom one night and I tried to get into bed with her when she was sleeping. I had clothes on, I wouldn't have touched her, but she woke up just as I was about to get in beside her. At first I was irritated because I was so close to winning but that didn't last for long. Ise can punch pretty hard and I think I was lucky to get away before the captain arrived or she got her hands on her zanpaku-to." Madarame grimaced at the memory. "Abarai tried a more normal method, after that, and decided to ask her on a date but she'd heard about the bet by then, and when he asked her out, he ended up with a black eye. It's not that bad this time." Madarame paused and looked at the bags scattered through the office. "Captain, why did you buy the…" Madarame faltered under Zaraki's glare.

Zaraki was glaring hard at him. Had he forgotten the possibility that the office might be bugged by a certain captain? The conversation about the bets would not interest any potential eavesdropper, but a mention of the dolls might alert anyone who overheard the conversation of the idea he was still forming.

For a moment the 3rd seat looked confused by the glare and then it seemed he understood his mistake. He nodded slightly. He raised an eyebrow and mouthed 'Tonight?' at Zaraki who nodded in response.

"Why did you buy the rhubarb? You know Yachiru hates it." Madarame was trying to cover his mistake.

Zaraki frowned. Rhubarb? What was the man talking about? He hadn't bought rhubarb, he'd bought dolls. Suddenly, he had an evil idea and grinned at his subordinate, hoping he would play along. "You remember. It's one of the ingredients in that poison the Clown Captain is so interested in. He doesn't realise that Retsu worked out how to reproduce the poison and I don't want him to know. I want Retsu to make another batch so she can find the antidote and she needs the rhubarb."

Madarame's face contorted at Zaraki's words and for a moment he wondered if his third seat was having a fit, and then realised Madarame was trying to control his laughter. If the Clown Captain was listening, all the rhubarb in Seireitei would be purchased by the 12th Division shortly. That should provide a distraction for some time, while he tried to work out the other ingredients, but it might be fun if he complicated matters a little further.

"I couldn't find any rotten fish heads, which makes it harder. The fresh ones will take days to become rotten and I'm unsure if the rhubarb will last, but maybe the poison will be more toxic if the rhubarb is a bit wilted. I wouldn't know, but Captain Unohana will."

Madarame now had his hands firmly clamped over his mouth as tears leaked down his cheeks. His shoulders were shaking and he was turning red from his attempts to prevent the laughter escaping from his mouth. He was obviously picturing the 12th Division experimenting with rhubarb and rotten fish heads, trying to make a toxic poison that suppressed the reiatsu. With grim amusement, Zaraki realised that he had commenced his campaign against Kurotsuchi, albeit unwittingly. Would the Clown Captain believe a poison could be created using rhubarb and fish heads?

"Kenny, are you trying to protect me from the Clown Captain by making this up? I'm touched, very touched that you care enough to try to divert that man away from me. Maybe I am making a silk purse from a sow's ear in my efforts to change you." Atonomatsuri said quietly in his mind.

Disregarding her comments and taking pity on Madarame, who looked like he was about to explode with laughter at any time, Zaraki changed the subject. "Retsu told me that Piecrust will be returning tomorrow. We've got to work out a way of training the jerk, so that he improves and doesn't end up in 4th Division every day. Captain Yamamoto warned me about the number of visits he's already paid. Do you think Yachiru can be trusted to train with him?"

Madarame sobered at the question, hiccuping slightly as his breathing eased. He mopped his eyes and drank some more water before he replied. "The problem is: Piecrust's slow, not just in movement, but how he learns things. From what I've seen he won't listen to anyone if their words don't agree with his ideas, which is bad for both a fighter and a shinigami. I don't know if there's much point in trying to teach him. He can't accept new ideas which means he can only repeat the same moves and same methods, over again, which will limit him. Yachiru will become annoyed and will act on that frustration, thinking that if she shows him, he might learn. You know how fast she can be and I don't think we can protect him from her. I'm not sure we should. The Captain-General may not be happy, but it may be the only way Piecrusts can learn. He's wary of Yumichika now, since their fight; have you noticed how he hunches over when Yumichika gets close to him, as if protecting his chest? Maybe he will learn to respect Yachiru because he lost so badly to her," looking at his captain, he smiled slightly, "or not. I don't know how he's going to react to her present."

Zaraki frowned at the mention of the present, a reminder of the dolls. News would probably leak back to 12th Division that he'd bought dolls, but maybe not. Not many people had observed the transaction. "Yeah, true, but why doesn't he fear you? You beat him in full view of everyone, without even trying. Damn, even his attempts at kido were a miserable failure. He's scared of me, which proves he's not a complete idiot; otherwise he would have challenged me for the captaincy before this, but he's arrogant enough to think he can beat a 3rd seat. Piecrust's scared of Ayasegawa because he cut him… That's it. You have to cut the moron before he'll take you seriously. I insist you cut the jerk, next time you see him, just not too deeply. You can chase him around if you want, but make sure you cut him enough to draw blood and make it hurt. It might mean he has to go back to 4th Division but he'll recover quickly, or we can keep him here and tend him ourselves." A wicked smile crossed Zaraki's face as he thought about it. "We can get someone from 4th to visit once a day just to check on him, a male, but not one that's too attractive. That way I can monitor Piecrusts' healing progress." Thinking a little more, Zaraki laughed. "Did it occur to you that the jerk likes going to 4th because he can proposition the nurses and lay around, being taken care of. It fits with him being a lazy little sod. We can fix that."

Madarame's face mirrored the wicked smile and then he laughed. "Captain, I've got to say you're picking up on things I hadn't noticed. I'm impressed. It seems like you've changed a lot recently, for the better. It is because of…" Realising what he'd nearly said, Madarame quickly shut his mouth. He looked worriedly at his captain, as if wondering if he'd said too much.

"There's nothing different, Madarame. Nothing had changed except we are training the division more seriously and they're now trying to talk to their zanpaku-to's. Do you think we should mention you can try to talk to them mentally, or will we allow the babble to continue?" Zaraki replied calmly. He smiled at his third seat, knowing that he would quickly pick up on what was being said.

"Nah. Don't tell them. I've heard some of the division say some really funny things like: 'You are one of the noble zanpaku-to's, a weapon without peer; a necessary companion and support for a shinigami."

The cackling laugh of Atonomatsuri echoed through Zaraki's mind as he heard those words. "And so our past words come to haunt us. Oh, Kenny boy, you said those words to me. Tell me, is there a script handed out by the Academy, of the necessary saccharine platitudes one may utter to a zanpaku-to, or did you have to make that one up yourself?"

Not noticing his captain's reaction, Madarame continued. "I heard another one say: 'I want to get to know you, to talk with you. I think we can be stronger together.' It's unbelievable, the crap some people will say when they're trying to do something they're unsure about." Madarame smiled but his expression slowly froze as he looked at his captain's face.

Zaraki was trying to ignore Atonomatsuri's laughter in his head as she commented further. "You did steal those words! I knew you hadn't thought about them by yourself. Hey, I have an idea; why not write a book for shinigami who need to know how to speak to their zanpaku-to. Maybe you could include a section on words you can use in condolence and birthday cards." Her laughter pealed through his mind. "Perhaps you can use: 'I await our final meeting in the twilight kingdom'. That would be a nice incomprehensible statement to make, and it would probably prove very popular amongst people with no imagination."

Lifting his hand, he almost hit his forehead to drive out the taunting voice within his mind. The bird's memory could not be faulted, damn her eyes. "Shut up flea bag. You talked to me, no matter what I said. I'm busy now; leave me alone. I don't have time for you."

There was a hurt silence and then he heard her say, "You should make time for me, Kenny. You need me more than you can possibly imagine. The dolls aren't a bad idea, and I think I understand the trick that you have planned but you will need to be careful and mindful of the possible pitfalls of this venture. Think it through before you mention it to anyone else. I think we need to talk again so that you can understand the importance of my advice and judgement."

Zaraki caught the shudder that threatened to overtake him. Talking with the putrid poultry usually meant being taken into his mind again, and having been there only the night before, he was loath to experience yet another discussion with the bird in that location.

"Um, Captain, you look pale. Aren't you feeling well? I thought you might find the things people are saying amusing, but you're not laughing or even smiling." Madarame face expressed concern, as if he was worried that his captain was ill.

"It's nothing. I'm fine. Maybe we should tell them that they can talk to their zanpaku-to's with their mind. It'll be less distracting. I'll tell them this afternoon." Zaraki looked at his clock. "It is afternoon. We better get out to the training ground and fight. Are you sure you want to try this? The last real challenge I had was that kid, Ichigo. Fighting Tosen bored me once I worked out how to beat his bankai, because his moves were predictable and his conversation was dull. For one moment, when I'd heard the traitors left, I felt sorry for Ichimaru being trapped with the guy, but that passed really fast. Are you okay?"

Madarame looked at Zaraki, a hint of shock in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Captain?"

"Are you feeling okay to fight? You were feeling really sick earlier, remember, but you have to fight me because of your stupid bet with Abarai. Wake up, Madarame." Zaraki's tone was brusque as he realised that he'd rambled on slightly.

"Fighting Tosen bored you? Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm ready to fight." Madarame got to his feet and tossed the banana peel into a bin.

"Come on then, let's make it interesting. First one to draw blood, wins. Does that suit you? I'll use the basic form of my zanpaku-to and you can use any, except your bankai. Agreed?" Zaraki thought it was a fair offer. "If you lose, you have to wake early and help me train in private."

A small smile touched Madarame's mouth. "And if I win, I get to sleep in for a week, no extra duties and you pay for the food and sake." His eyes gleamed at the prospect.

Zaraki barked out a laugh. "Lazy beggar. Agreed, except you have to wake early for a week if you lose, and tell me the rest of the bet." He was interested if Madarame would agree to the last condition, knowing that his code of honour was strong.

"I can't tell you the bet, Captain, you know that. I made a promise and I don't break promises to friends. You'll find out about the bet soon enough." Madarame was firm in his refusal as Zaraki had expected.

"I wonder where Yachiru is; she likes to watch a good fight. I don't think we should start until she gets back. We may as well go to the training ground and wait for her there. We can do a bit of drilling first, and I better explain the other method of talking with zanpaku-to's." Zaraki sighed, unwilling to leave his office. "I suppose we better lock the door, I don't want anyone stealing my purchases."

After locking the door, Zaraki and Madarame wandered slowly to the training ground. On the way Zaraki felt a familiar weight drop onto his shoulders.

"Ken-chan, you haven't fought Baldy yet, have you? You waited for me didn't you? Piecrust wasn't very well. He bawled and hid under the sheets when I asked to see his cuts, the stupid jerk. Then he complained about a stomach ache and ran out of the room. I went and talked to Lolly for a while, and ate some of the lollies she had and then I went and talked to Nemu 'cause she looked so sad the last time I saw her. She gave me some lollies too and I made her laugh when I told her about fighting Piecrust. The Clown Captain was somewhere else, I don't know where. Then I came back here." Yachiru chattered happily as Zaraki kept walking.

"That's nice Yachiru. I haven't fought Madarame yet, we were waiting for you. Have you tried talking to your zanpaku-to, yet?"

Yachiru giggled. "I've heard other people talking. They say silly things, Ken-chan. Do you want me to tell you some of the things I heard?"

"No," the response was louder than Zaraki had intended. "No, Madarame has already told me some he heard. Talk about it later, okay?"

"Okay, Ken-chan."

During the conversation they had arrived at the training ground and Yachiru jumped off Zaraki's back and stood beside him as he talked to 11th Division.

After explaining, very briefly, the other, quieter method of conversing with zanpaku-to's he ordered the Division to form a fighting square and announced that he would be battling Madarame as a demonstration. An awed hush fell over the training ground at the announcement and each member of the Division vied to gain a better position to view the fight.

Grinning widely, Zaraki pulled his zanpaku-to out of its sheath. He was looking forward to this fight and hoped that it would last more than a few minutes, so that he could feel the excitement he normally experienced during a good battle. Turning he saw Madarame who was holding his scabbard in one hand and his blade in the other.

"I said you could use the other form, if you wanted," Zaraki commented loudly to his 3rd seat.

"Yeah, I know, but I want to start out the same as you. Let me see how far I can get using it like this, and if I last more than five minutes I might change." Madarame was smiling contentedly as he replied.

"Trying to make things more interesting for me; or harder for you? Okay, you're choice." With one quick movement, Zaraki clashed his blade against Madarame's ignoring the scabbard which struck a glancing blow on his shoulder. "You know that won't distract me, don't you? I don't care what you do with the scabbard and don't think switching them will confuse me. I can see the move and I'll respond."

Madarame pulled his lips back from his teeth. "I'm starting slowly." He moved back slightly and tapped his foot on the ground, observing Zaraki closely.

Zaraki stood waiting, trying to anticipate the next move and thinking that Madarame was taking his time. Making up his mind, the 3rd seat rushed to Zaraki's left, probably anticipating that the eye patch might cause that side to be more vulnerable. Almost shaking his head, Zaraki moved just slightly and then moved again as Madarame compensated for the change. Madarame missed.

"You should remember that the eye patch doesn't affect my sight,' Zaraki reminded his third seat as he watched him turn.

"I hadn't forgotten. I was demonstrating that it's not always clever to anticipate another's weaknesses. You only learn your foes weaknesses as you fight them. Many would attack your left side because of the eye patch." Madarame did not seem apologetic.

"Let's make this more interesting. I'll turn my back and then you attack. It's a good thing to learn, how to defend against rear attacks, and yes, I know you normally don't attack from the rear, because that's what cowards do; but we all encounter cowards at some time." Zaraki grinned mischievously at the man in front of him.

"If you're telling me what to do, how can that be considered a fight? I've got to fight you properly, otherwise I lose the bet." Madarame looked concerned at the direction the fight was progressing.

"Just do this and then we'll fight properly. You started this by attacking my left side to prove a point." Zaraki turned his back to Madarame and stretched, listening for the tell tale footsteps that would indicate the speed and direction of the attack. He heard the approach and waited, allowing the attacker to draw near and then quickly dodged to the right allowing the blade to just miss the sleeve of his uniform and receiving a rap on the back from the scabbard.

There was a small scattering of applause from the watching shinigami, which quickly ceased as Zaraki shook his head. This was not a performance to gain favour; it was a demonstration of fighting ability and a way for them to learn tactics.

"Good try. Now let's fight," he said, turning to face his opponent once more.

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Author's Note:

I've made a list of outstanding issues yet to be resolved in this story. So far there are 18. All going well I will explain two of them next chapter, I hope, if I don't get enchanted by another possibility.

To my reviewers: my thanks for your support and suggestions. It's nice to see people making it a favourite and requesting a story alert. It would amuse me greatly if everyone who did that, actually reviewed the story. That won't happen but I can fantasise, can't I?

To the people who supplied adages, I can't use them as yet. When I have an opportunity, I will, but the conversations between Zaraki and Atonomatsuri are taking some strange turns.

You know how this works by now. Please review.

MS


	22. Defence: Whole and Hollow

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Defence: Whole and Hollow**

Steel clashed on steel as battle was joined, and with the memory of previous clashes clear in his mind, Zaraki began to enjoy himself. This was what he'd missed, a fight with a capable rival; someone who could amuse him for more than a few minutes and could force him to reassess his strategy as the tussle continued. It was true that they'd fought before, but not for some time and there had been changes: his foe had developed bankai since last time. The hard training and dedication showed as he was handling the blade with more confidence and seemed to have improved stamina and co-ordination.

Relaxing into the fight, he watched the moves, trying to anticipate what the next variety of attack would be. Stepping to the left he avoided a well placed blow that should have knocked a bell from his hair and then twisted a little to avoid the corresponding strike from the scabbard. Laughing he swung his weapon; past the defences and hit Madarame with the flat of his sword on his right side. He didn't want to draw blood, yet. "Still not fast enough," he muttered quietly, "but he's getting there. He should have a better defence if he's using the scabbard as well as the zanpaku-to."

Madarame retreated a few paces as if gauging the situation. "You've learnt some new moves. I don't know why, but I seem to be too late in landing the blow and my defence seems flawed. I don't understand it. Maybe I should fight you more often."

Feeling a slight stab of conscience, Zaraki realised he had been tapping into the 'too late' ability of Atonomatsuri as they skirmished, but mentally dismissed the emotion. If the power was there, he needed to learn to use it consciously and unconsciously. This was the opportunity to test how it worked against someone other than the irritating squawker, but he didn't want it to be too easy. "Why don't you use the other form? Come on man, I want a challenge."

"We haven't been fighting for five minutes." Lunging forward, Madarame nearly managed to skewer Zaraki's sleeve, but the zanpaku-to only found empty air on its point as a subtle move whisked the material just out of reach. The scabbard flew through the air as a riposting blow dashed it from his hand. He looked at where the scabbard lay, shock transforming his face. "Captain, as usual you're teaching me while we fight. I keep thinking I have no hole in my defences and you've found a new one each time."

Smiling even wider, Zaraki quickly cut both sleeves of his opponent's uniform, just to prove a point and they now flapped untidily and he had managed that feat without touching the flesh underneath. "I miss the blood and the way the blade feels when it's cutting flesh, but this is fun too. Try harder, make me work for it. You wanted this fight, so try and win."

Bending to retrieve his scabbard, the bald shinigami took his time as if planning his next tactic. Straightening quickly he feinted to the right and with a lighting flick of steel thrust upward. Zaraki's eye patch was in danger of being removed, but he leant his head back, just an inch out of the way. "Good move, but are you sure you want to remove the eye patch? I think it's a mistake as it makes me stronger; you know that. We're not fighting at that level yet and I don't want to make it too difficult for you." He caught a quick look of disquiet his antagonist's face at the comment and implied criticism. "Maybe you could try for something less dangerous. A bell perhaps?"

Stepping back, Madarame gazed at the eye patch and the bells that adorned Zaraki's hair, his eyes moving as if wondering why he had failed to obtain either one. They seemed to bother him for some reason and looking slightly grim he replied "I tried that earlier, only a minute ago, didn't you notice? That was when I noticed I was too late." As he said the words 'too late' he seemed struck by an inspiration. 'I think the five minutes is up. You want me to make this more interesting? I think I can do that. Extend Hozukimaru!"

The admission about the bells was unexpected. He'd tried for the bells, then the eye patch; was there a reason? As he thought about that Zaraki heard the command and immediately began to grumble to himself. "Yeah, every one else gets the cool invocation and I'm stuck with yawn," he muttered, noticing again the discrepancy between his summoning word and the release words used by other shinigami. "Even the name of his zanpaku-to is better than mine. I bet its physical manifestation doesn't look like a bloody decomposing vulture."

"Oh, stop whining about it, Kenny, you sound like a spoiled little princess. 'I'm stuck with yawn. It's a vulture.' Enough of the self indulgent whimpering, I tire of it. The word is yawn and nothing will change that, nor should you want to. As to your rude comments about my beautiful appearance, I know you have a damaged mind, so I'll excuse you for the moment. You've used the too late power in this fight already, so I'm not all bad, am I? On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow. Friedrich Nietzsche wrote that and I think it applies to you." Atonomatsuri chuckled complacently in his mind seemingly pleased at her witticism.

If the insult was meant to startle, it succeeded even though it was followed by something that was almost close to a compliment. It was bad enough to be compared to a child, but to be compared with a spoiled girl was even worse. The rotten adage addict was trying to make him respond, attempting to provoke a retort. He decided to ignore the slur, but couldn't let all her comments go unanswered. "What are you yammering on about this time? I'm no superman. I'm trying to concentrate on this because it's the most fun I've had for a while; so could you keep your barbed poisonous tongue from interfering? Your voice sounds as pleasant as gravel and glass rattling in a rusty tin." Zaraki didn't want her advice when fighting, nor would he follow it. How could she expect him to think if she was babbling on as usual?

He heard a grumpy exclamation in his mind, but ignored it, intent on what Madarame was planning. After he'd extended his zanpaku-to he'd begun twirling the spear version from hand to hand, drawing admiring glances from the watching crowd. It was a spectacle that drew the eye, almost hypnotic in the constant motion. There was a small amount of chatter going on as the audience watched. Quickly glancing around, Zaraki noticed that the throng had grown considerably larger since they had begun fighting and many of the additions did not belong to his division. Money seemed to be changing hands. Why anyone was betting on an outcome that was assured was beyond his comprehension, or maybe they were betting on how long the fight would last. Mentally shrugging off his thoughts, he called to his opponent, "Stop showing off."

Watching the spear whirl around, Zaraki again realised that this would be a different type of fight. The range of the weapon was superior to most and when handled well it could be a formidable threat. The way Madarame was managing the spear indicated his skills had improved. Good. He wanted something that might make him exert his body, even make him use strategy. Becoming too complacent could be his death and he didn't feel like dying at the moment. Life was proving a little more interesting even if the annoyances had increased.

"I'm demonstrating that this has a longer reach and that it can be used for more than simply stabbing at your enemy. Not every one is lucky enough to have a zanpaku-to as versatile as this one." The tone of the voice was a reminder of how much this zanpaku-to was treasured by its owner and his face expressed his pleasure in being able to handle it in combat.

"Why don't you say nice things like that about me, Kenny? Fortune is a woman; if you neglect her today do not expect to regain her tomorrow. Think of me as your fortune, and don't neglect me, or things may change. You rely on me and my good graces to succeed and survive. What if I were to turn against you? He who does not cultivate his field, will die of hunger," Atonomatsuri's voice held a scolding tone that impressed him not at all. It seemed her selfish demands increased with each conversation.

"And the bird that does not shut her beak will find my fist down her throat. Say nice things about you? I'd sooner mutter sweet words to a carbuncle; at least the carbuncle will go away. I may rely on you, but you rely on me. Quit your yapping; I'm not interested in what you have to say." Zaraki was short and not impressed by Atonomatsuri's clamour for praise.

"Can we continue the fight, or do you need to keep waving that thing around?" Zaraki spoke aloud to Madarame, to cover any response from Atonomatsuri.

"Hey, Captain. I told you, I was just demonstrating and also stretching so I'm better prepared to fight you. I'm ready." Whirling his zanpaku-to around his head, Madarame faced his opponent and waited for the offensive moves.

Zaraki stood there, feeling amused. This was an easy and showy display but he wasn't impressed, no matter how the onlookers might be enthralled. It was an easy thing to stop the admittedly daunting rotation, but he'd done it before. Sauntering close, he simply flicked his steel up and stopped the other's weapon in mid whirl. "You're not even trying."

"Not yet; I thought you'd want to spin this out," smiling as he made the pun; Madarame grasped his blade ready to battle.

Suppressing an exclamation of disgust at the bad pun, Zaraki shook his head. "No, I want this to look like a real fight. Now are you ready to stop stuffing around and get serious? Do you think you can make me break into a sweat?"

Nodding and then abruptly stabbing forward, weight centred on his left leg and his blade extended, Madarame again aimed at the eye patch. Zaraki stepped aside and felt the wind from the attack pass by his ear. "Better. Keep it up."

These words had an effect, as if they were a triggering phase, and with quick short piercing movements the spear was repeatedly punched toward him and he was forced to repel the attacks. The spear was moving fast, whipping from one point to another, always shoved forward as it trying to impale him on its length. The attacks were not always predicable, which made it all the more enjoyable. It was not possible to remain static while being attacked by a spear, and he was reminded of the dance between blades, flesh and bones in a battle. The thrill of moving out of reach, of attempting to cut the foe and stopping the other from cutting made him remember the fierce joy he experienced when he finally had someone to fight who didn't make him like he was skirmishing against a novice.

In an impromptu interval, they moved to opposite sides of the fighting square and observed each other. Madarame's eyes were wide and gleaming almost with pleasure as his mouth stretched wide. He seemed to be enjoying the 'demonstration' as much his Captain. Even as he inspected his surroundings, Zaraki noticed that the watching crowd had grown even larger. To his right he noticed the crimson hair of his former subordinate and grinned. Obviously Abarai had heard word of the fight and had come to watch. His eyes were moving rapidly between the combatants as if checking if any damage had yet been inflicted.

"I think you won this part of the bet," Zaraki yelled across the square.

Moving his eyes, Madarame darted a look in the direction indicated by Zaraki and then nodded. "Yep." Even as he spoke, he began to rush forward.

As he came closer, he seemed to slow down, or that was how it appeared to the Captain who was preparing for the oncoming assault. He noticed that the attacking weapon was held differently to a few minutes before. "If I remember his tactics, he's going to get his bladed sansetsukon to break, when he comes close enough. That has an element of surprise the first time and it's a pretty difficult manoeuvre to counter. I can either let him cut me, dodge, cut him, focus and use too late, or even parry. I don't feel like getting cut today, so that's one option out. Why am I even thinking about it? I'll cut him, not too deeply and probably dodge, just a little. Don't want to make it look too difficult or like it's an easy fight."

Thrusting out his zanpaku-to he knocked the oncoming attack aside before the sansetsukon could break and sliced into the flesh of the arm feeling a slight shock travel up the handle of the zanpaku-to as it gave the impression of travelling further. He felt a sting on the back of his hand and noticed that he had been cut by the blade he'd deflected. It was nothing.

"Good, we've both drawn blood. Do you want to continue?" Raising his eyes from the wound he'd sustained, he noticed that he'd probably misjudged the slice. "Damn."

Blood was flowing freely from the cut arm and Hozukimaru was lying on the ground while more blood was flowing from a wound to the chest. He'd sliced the arm from wrist to elbow and could see the tendons exposed but the cut to the chest was not as deep. Madarame was looking at his injuries incredulously, his face pale and his eyes glassy. "How in the name of the friggin' demon king, did you do that? You hardly seemed to move and then I felt you slice right into me. I can't continue this bloody demonstration because I can't hold my zanpaku-to. Crap. Hell. Flaming, frigging, buggery….." The cursing continued.

"I think I better take him back to my division, Captain. He'll need stiches. While I am certain that you did not intend to inflict that level of injury and I thought this was only meant to be a demonstration, the damage is considerable. I must admit I am a little disappointed; you seemed to be learning how to exercise more restraint but this does not bode well." Appearing seemingly out of the ether, Retsu was standing supporting Madarame who was swaying on his feet. Isane stood on his other side; assisting and working together they quickly bound the wounds.

"Would you please assist us in bearing this man to 4th Division?" Isane asked the two nearest shinigami. They quickly nodded and picking up the wounded man, carried him out of the training ground.

Feeling responsible, Zaraki began to follow, but stopped when he noticed the expression on Retsu's face. She had said she was disappointed. It appeared that she was more than that, she seemed angry, not that any frown or anger marred the usual serene expression, it was the look in her eyes that made him pause. She nodded curtly to him and left, following her patient.

With the departure of Madarame and Retsu, the additional onlookers quickly dispersed. One of the members of 11th Division retrieved Hozukimaru and the scabbard and handed them to Zaraki who took them but then didn't know what to do with them. Looking around at the faces of his men, he noticed they were looking at him; some stunned, some shocked, many fearful, but the respect visible in their eyes was more apparent, just as Madarame had predicted.

"You're all dismissed. Training here, tomorrow morning, early. Go and do something useful, unless any of you want to fight me." It was interesting to see how quickly the training ground emptied at his words. Only Yachiru was left and she seemed hesitant at approaching him. Waiting for her to speak he sheathed the sword and stood waiting.

"Ken-chan…" she began and then stopped, first looking at him and then at the ground, the sky and slyly at his face again.

He didn't reply, not knowing what to say in this situation, nor able to guess what she felt she needed to say.

"I know you were having fun and so was Baldy. He asked for the fight, I heard him, and maybe it was the right idea. You need to practice and a lot of people won't accept your challenges, I know. It was a good fight; but Ken-chan, did you mean to cut Baldy so deeply?" Yachiru gabbled the words quickly as if needing to say them as quickly as she could, before she lost her courage. She did not appear confident at how her question would be received.

"What do you think? No, I didn't mean to cut him deeply. But it happened. Bugger. Go along to 4th Division and check on him, would you? I don't think Captain Unohana wants to see me at the moment and I want to know how he is. Meet me in the office once you have news." Zaraki did not want to see the silent reproach in her eyes nor did he want to examine his own reaction.

Twisting her hands in her sash, Yachiru hesitated and then asked, "Ken-chan, why are 2nd Division trying to get into your office? Someone told me that a few of them have ended up at 4th Division after some of our guys found them breaking in. I think they got a little upset," he voice faded slightly as she uttered the last sentence. "I think Lolly might be unhappy about that too."

"What the hell? I haven't got a frigging clue why 2nd Division are trying to break into my office. I'll go and check, but it seems unimportant right now. Go and find out how Madarame is; move it, Assistant Captain."

Pouting slightly and evidently unhappy she turned and left.

Watching her leave he spent time justifying the events, something he'd never done before. Madarame had asked for the fight. They'd fought before and he'd wounded him then, this wasn't any different. If you challenged someone to a fight you had to expect it might end with injury or death. It wasn't unknown. The last time he'd fought anyone seriously he'd been injured; he'd expected it. It was a possibility when anyone fought. Hell, they were the 11th. Not some namby pamby division where the only fighting seemed to be who would complete the maddening paperwork. And what was going on with 2nd Division? What outlandish decision had their commander made? Was it a training exercise to see how the changes in 11th Division would affect her forces? He had no quarrel with Soi Fon so it was abnormal that this was happening.

"Damn it. This is wrong. What in the name of Ares am I thinking? I don't need to justify anything. It happened, he'll live. So what if Retsu and Yachiru are upset with me. It's not important, why should I give a curse? 2nd Division can go hang, their reasons and actions are unimportant." He spoke aloud in his attempt to overcome the unwanted sensations he was experiencing.

"Undergoing guilt, Kenny boy? I think that's the emotion you're feeling, isn't it? You probably don't recognise it; do you, having never experienced it before. Must be the synapses in your brain are finally firing properly instead of the usual stunted splutter. Your mind is being repaired, so emotions aside from anger are emerging. It's funny that you can feel guilt for hurting him, but you feel no guilt for all the pain you caused me in the past. Not even one slight twinge of conscience for the amount of time you ignored me and blocked out my screams of agony. That doesn't see fair, or right. Hearken to the warnings of conscience, if you would not feel its wounds," the bird sounded much put out, supposedly because he had insulted her strongly by his reaction.

"Was I talking to you? Why in the name of sanity do you keep carrying on about that? I've heard it all before and constant reminders do not make me feel any guilt. You don't feel guilty about the lies you've told me, do you, you abnormal avian? If I hear one more adage from your bill, I'll cut out your tongue and bloody glue your gaping maw shut; or I'll give you to the Clown Captain. Got it?" He was not in the mood for yet another lecture on his shortcomings as perceived by Atonomatsuri. If he didn't stop her quickly her lecture would continue until he knocked himself unconscious just to escape her words. Waiting to see if she would respond, he looked at the ground. Blood had seeped into the earth and still looked fresh. He kicked some sand over it, not wanting any further reminders of the incident.

"I didn't kill him. He's not dead." Speaking the words aloud were no help. He still felt uncomfortable about the fight and standing in the deserted training ground was not making it easier. While he felt the guilt, he grasped the knowledge that mingled with the guilt, was a hint of exhilaration that he was beginning to harness a little of the power of his zanpaku-to.

Again thinking aloud he wondered if the intended evening discussion would be cancelled. "Will Retsu turn up tonight? Will Madarame? I want to talk to both of them about my plans. I need Madarame to fight me so I can try out the new form. Why am I even thinking like this? He's been hurt before, and recovered. 4th Division will take care of him; that's their job. I'll go back to the office and look through the dolls to see if the ones I want are there. If they're not, that whole scheme comes to nothing and buying the dolls was a waste of time. There's the chance I'll have more than one of the same; I didn't check before I bought them. It doesn't matter. I can give them to Yachiru and she can keep them or give them to Piecrust. Yachiru said 2nd Division have been trying to get into my office. Yeah, I should check that nothing's happening." Acting on his thoughts, he ambled to his office still carrying Hozukimaru. There would be no one waiting to see him, no one to make jokes with. It would be boring, but Yachiru might return soon and could tell him how bad the injuries were.

As he came within sight of his headquarters, he subconsciously noticed something was wrong. Remembering the facts Yachiru had provided, he halted and tried to work out what was out of place. The door still seemed to be shut, there were no people outside and the light was not on. If he didn't know better he would think he was sensing someone's reiatsu close by. The reiatsu of someone strong; not an ordinary person; but it was wavering, as if the person was trying to conceal their presence but had difficulty in maintaining their concentration. Stealthily he moved closer, making certain his moves were silent. Pausing outside the door, he waited, trying to hear anything that might inform him if the person within was aware of his presence. Inside he heard the rustle of bags and muttered obscenities.

The key was in one hand, his zanpaku-to in the other, ready to fend off any attack. He tried the door. Whoever was in his office had neglected to lock it once they broke in. That was a strategic error. Replacing the key in his pocket, he pushed the door open and cautiously looked in. A member of the Special Remote Squad was holding a box. It was evident that the person was from the squad due to the clothing worn, but the height, the figure, the stance were vaguely familiar to Zaraki.

"I'll ask your commander what special interest the Secret Remote Squad has in my office." Speaking quietly he noted that the squad member had not been paying attention to anything outside the office. The squad member dropped the box she was holding and then grabbed the doll that had been within.

The next few minutes held one of the most unexpected admissions Zaraki had heard for some time. Before the squad member could go into detail, he remembered the potential listener and insisted they go to a less cluttered place to continue the discussion. Taking the doll from her hands he replaced it in the box despite vehement protests. At his insistence, they went to a nearby tea house and conversed on the subject at some length. The facts revealed gave him greater insight into some of the dynamics of which he had been unaware. The discussion continued for a while.

After arranging matters with his unexpected visitor, Zaraki returned to his office and started to sort through the dolls. Removing the boxes from the bags, he spent some time looking at each doll. It was fortunate that the particular dolls he wanted were present and there were duplicates of the dolls as he suspected. The duplicates were put to one side as he arranged the boxes into the order he'd decided. Tonight, if all went well, he could find out how the others viewed his plans. If Madarame was sufficiently recovered, if Ayasegawa wasn't tetchy from being confined all day, if Retsu actually turned up, if Yachiru was still talking to him after his…

"The bloody guilt again. What a useless emotion." Speaking aloud he almost expected some spiteful comment from Atonomatsuri but, for once, she remained silent. Maybe the threat had worked, or she was waiting for a moment when he did not expect her input.

Removing his eye patch and sitting down he rubbed his eyes. They felt gritty and heavy, and he was loath to open them. He didn't have anything to do for the rest of the day, except to return to 1st Division to retrieve Ayasegawa. The paperwork was being completed; training was over for the moment; he was tired. The interruption to his sleep last night and increased activities during the day probably contributed to his weariness. Leaning back in his chair, he rested his head, and thought of what he should be doing. For now he'd rest his eyes and think about his scheme.

"It's imperative Retsu help with the plan," he thought. It was agreeable to have his eyes closed; it had been a hard, long day.

"What do you want? I have what you want. Harder this time to be stronger."

The words sounded familiar. He had a memory of hearing them recently when he was in an undesirable situation; when he was dreaming, dreaming about the hollow.

Alerted by the realisation he opened his eyes, looked to his left and saw the hollow observing him once more. Freaking springs of pain, he was dreaming again. The blasted wasteland, the suffocating feeling of being ensnared inspired his anger; couldn't he just sleep anymore? It was supposed to be a doze, not a gap for dreams to intrude.

"I'll wake up. There's no stinking way I'm allowing this dream to continue. The hollow can talk to himself, or maybe I can dump the bird in the dream and they can yell incomprehensible sentences into the void. They deserve each other." Try as he might, he could not awaken and the hollow chuckled.

He thought he heard the words "Each man kills the thing he loves," but looking around he couldn't see who could have uttered the words, unless it was the hollow. Stupid adages seemed to follow him everywhere.

"Hey, you, get out of my dreams. Why do you keep showing up?" Zaraki found he was yelling at the hollow.

"Dreams you get, keep show. I am; you want." The hollow sighed gustily as it spoke.

"It's making less sense than the mouthy overgrown turkey," Zaraki thought. "How do I wake up this time?"

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

I published the first chapter of _Zanpaku-to?_ on 23 October, 2006 (according to this site). On 23 October this year, and for sentimental reasons, I hope to publish Chapter 23 of this story and another story, a one-shot, which is the result of a challenge from Won-Shi-Tong. This story is a spin-off from _Zanpaku-to?_ and relates to some of the events in this story, strangely enough involving 2nd Division.

I apologise that this chapter is shorter than the last one. It's because I wanted to commence work on the next chapter.

Thank you to the people who have reviewed this story.

Please review.

MS


	23. Falls the Shadow

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

Welcome to the anniversary chapter of this story. I hope you enjoy it.

(Stop writing this rubbish, the people want to read the chapter, not your mindless babbling.)

(I know, but I'm nervous.)

Here, take an Anzac biscuit or lolly to celebrate. Don't forget to brush your teeth.

**Falls the Shadow**

"Stop thinking; stop worrying. The dreams began when I started thinking, and if the demented bird is right, the guilt is a result of thinking. Guilt! Why do I have to feel guilt? I won't think about it. I don't feel bad about anything. Why should I? There are other ways to be stronger. I could learn kido….. But that means memorising the damned words and getting them right and making sure they bloody work. It's too slow. I don't want to be mumbling words while an Arrancar is shoving his arm through my chest. The time I spent trying to get the zanpaku-to to talk back and this is the result! A bloody Hollow talking rubbish in a landscape that looks like my mind." As he had the last thought, Zaraki realised it was true. The landscape did resemble the ruined countryside of his mind, but it also reminded him of another place he'd seen. The memory did not come into focus; no matter how much he concentrated, always slipping onto another thought, not connecting with the recollection.

"I am; you want," the Hollow repeated, the voice rasping through the mask, echoing eerily though the devastation; the sound being amplified by the wind. The Hollow stood immobile and almost seemed to be secured to the ground while its head remained; craned around looking directly at him. He could not see the eyes, only cavernous black pits under the mask.

Returning the gaze, he grasped he did not even know if he was making eye contact. "What the hell am I doing?" He sheathed his zanpaku-to which he'd automatically drawn and turned his back on the Hollow, deciding to walk away. The Hollow could stay there until it rotted; he was finished with it.

As he put distance between the Hollow and himself, he looked at the sky. It did not contain the expected destroyed planets and dying sun; it was black, unlike the sky of his mind. A black sky; empty of stars and moon. The light came from the ground on which he walked and the insight made him feel disorientated. This was wrong. Light should come from above, not below. A black sky offered no hope; no relief and the terrain presented the same air of desolation. "I'm not in my mind. Is that good? What do I care? I want out of here."

A blur of movement to his left caught his eye; it was the Hollow but there was no indication it had moved except for the faint blur he'd seen. This had happened before; the Hollow did not allow him to leave it behind. It caught up with him and then uttered nonsense words he did not want to hear.

"Harder to want to be stronger," the Hollow enunciated carefully.

"Yeah, sure. Stronger to want hard to be. You want; I am. Frigging great. Can't you say anything that doesn't sound like crap filled gobbledygook? Have you got a brain behind the mask, or does it hide a hole? A Hollow with a hole in place of a head? Yeah, that's probably it. I can't see the hole anywhere else. Get out of my way and leave me alone or I'll stick this through your mask and see if I can hit anything," Zaraki patted his sword. "You can't avoid it forever."

"You can't avoid forever," the Hollow stated; not moving; no inflection present in its voice.

"A Hollow, talking philosophy? Maybe you've been speaking to Tosen and learnt the method of sounding like you're saying something when you're really speaking junk. Go and annoy him and get out of my way." Zaraki strode past the Hollow, his anger rising. Not only was his temper being affected, he was experiencing a level of frustration he normally attributed to his exchanges with Atonomatsuri. Was the Hollow part of Atonomatsuri? That couldn't be right. One spoke at length, constantly using adages that made him feel like throttling her; and the other could barely form a coherent sentence.

A few more steps and the Hollow was again on his left. Without further thought Zaraki was driving his zanpaku-to toward the mask of the Hollow. It swayed; a slight movement to the left and the blow passed by, while the Hollow gasped Zaraki's arm. The disgust at the contact increased his ire but he found the zanpaku-to was dropping out of his hand as the cold flesh imprinted on his arm. He jerked his arm, it refused to budge. Trying again he felt the grip tighten as he exerted more strength.

"Listen," said the Hollow. The voice again rang in Zaraki's mind. He'd heard the voice before, he was sure of it, but still he couldn't remember. The distortion caused by the mask could be the cause, but he ignored that idea. He wanted to get away from the Hollow and out of the dream.

"Listen? To you? You're actually going to say something intelligible? I can't wait." His sarcasm was wasted on the creature.

"Listen to the truth, the secret truth, but speak the word only." The words came to him faintly as the Hollow released his arm and faded out of sight. The ground melted under his feet. Melting ground? What was with that?

Sitting up with a start, Zaraki felt relief when he recognised he was in his office. "Does anything in my imagination talk sense? Can't anyone just say what they mean without talking riddles? I suppose I'm going to hear from she who will not shut up, quoting something at me. Something to do with truth, or secrets, or lies," he thought. A glance out the window showed that dusk was falling. Atonomatsuri, inexplicably, remained silent.

"Better go and reclaim my 5th seat; hopefully Retsu is not still annoyed with me," speaking aloud for the benefit of anyone listening, Zaraki left, locking the office behind him. "I wonder why Yachiru did not come back. Hope that doesn't mean that Madarame is in bad shape. Damn it, the guilt thing again. I'll ignore it; think about something else, even though thinking got me into this situation. What's that Hollow dream about; why can't I just sleep? I'd ask Retsu but she's not happy with me and I don't want her to know. It has to be a failing of something to explain why I keep having idiotic dreams." These and similar thoughts occupied his attention as he walked.

He didn't feel comfortable until they were seated in the tea house and that lasted seconds only. Retsu had allowed Madarame to attend, simply because he refused to stay behind. He was sitting stiffly, looking pale and moving as little as possible. His arm was bandaged tightly but his eyes glittered with something other than pain, possibly expectation. Yumichika was visibly annoyed that he'd missed out on the fight, pouting slightly and tossing his head every so often. Retsu was avoiding eye contact with everyone except Yachiru and Hanatoro. She had barely greeted Zaraki when they had met outside 1st Division and he had noticed. They were sitting next to each other but she had turned so that he saw only her shoulder and back, rather than her face. Yachiru seemed on a sugar high, making Zaraki think that she'd got hold of more sweets while at 4th Division. She was giggling and making faces at Yumichika and occasionally tapping Madarame on his injured arm. Hanatoro sat quietly next to his captain, sporadically glancing around the room.

Madarame was the first to break the uneasy silence. "What are you going to do with the dolls, Captain? I only came so I could find out."

That explained the expectant look.

"What dolls? Ken-chan you didn't take my dolls did you," Yachiru began thumping his knee and Madarame shot him a look of relief. At least she wasn't poking his arm while she was quizzing Zaraki.

"No, I didn't take your dolls," Zaraki snapped, put out by the sober mood of the supposed celebration. He quickly explained what he had purchased, but not the reason. Retsu, Yumichika and Hanatoro looked at him very oddly. "I'm going to use them to play a prank on the Clown Captain," he admitted in response to the looks.

"I thought you already had," Retsu's voice was cold and her eyes hard. "He was plaguing my Division this afternoon demanding to know what the other ingredients were while he waved around some vile concoction. It stank of rotten fish and was bright pink and he said that he'd tried so many combinations but it wouldn't work. I don't know what he was talking about, but he was most insistent that he'd heard you speak about an experiment I was conducting. He insisted on inspecting my private research area, which he entered without my permission but all my experiments were finalised and he could find nothing. Captain Kurotsuchi then indicated I should invite him to dinner, but luckily I could claim this prior engagement. Why he wanted to dine with me, I do not wish to ponder. You have disappointed me twice today, Captain Zaraki. It was at your hands I had to suffer the incursions of that man and spend time in his company. I only attended tonight to keep an eye on Madarame."

Hearing the explanation made Madarame laugh, but then he clutched his chest. "Proof, it's proof! He is bugging your office. Rotten fish heads and rhubarb. We've got to check your office Sir, as soon as possible."

Again, Zaraki had to spend a few minutes explaining the accidental trick he had played. "I wouldn't have guessed that the guy would be rash enough to come and talk to you about it. I'd hoped he'd keep trying until he realised it wouldn't work."

Yumichika was looking more miffed than before. "I'm locked up for one day and all this happens. I'm ready to settle scores with the Captain of the 12th Division. I don't think you went far enough. You should have thought of something more humiliating to add, something disgusting and repellent, like him."

"He wouldn't notice," Hanatoro said quietly as he ate some nuts.

"What do you mean?" demanded Yumichika taking the nuts from him. He then proceeded to pick out the pistachios.

"He likes disgusting things, hadn't you spotted that? I suppose not, as 4th Division have more to do with 12th Division," noticing that everyone was paying attention to his words Hanatoro flushed and stopped speaking.

"Remember, I advised you not to make personal comments," Retsu said. Her voice was indulgent and she smiled at him. "It's true; little seems to repel the good Captain. I could have used your help today, Hanatoro. As you were absent I had to make other arrangements for our 'special guest'." She turned her attention to Zaraki. "I'm afraid that Yuki Hisagi had a combined laxative and sleeping potion given to him as I feared. Apparently Isane was temporarily absent and some one must have misread his chart, or I choose to believe. I worry this may delay his return to your Division. No one will attend him, except Hanatoro and Isane, and they do so only because I've asked."

"Is that why Piecrust was crying so much? I thought he was acting like a baby." Yachiru made a face as she remembered his behaviour. "He smelt."

Hoping to get back in Retsu's good graces, Zaraki quickly mentioned his discussion with Madarame. Watching her closely as he spoke, he noticed a spark of hope in her eyes and finally she smiled at him.

"That is an inspired idea. Hanatoro, you wouldn't mind visiting 11th Division every day to check on Yuki Hisagi, would you?" She spoke earnestly to her 7th seat.

"For you, Captain, I am happy to do that. Iemura has become a little stressed since his arrival and I think he is not very happy about the situation; nor is anyone else. I want everyone to be happy." A look of relief spread across Hanatoro's face.

The waiter finally arrived and Zaraki ordered copious amounts of food and drink. "Friends again, Retsu?" he asked quietly.

"We are friends again only because you're taking Piecrust off my hands. I realise that you did not expect Captain Kurotsuchi to infest my division, but I do not enjoy the experience of dealing with the man. He has recently begun to stand close to me and watches me intently. It makes my skin crawl to have him within metres, let alone centimetres."

Hearing about this behaviour troubled Zaraki. The conduct was unusual and made him pause. Why was the guy standing close to Retsu? Without realising it, the disclosure was making him angry, but he didn't want to be angry. Anger, while an emotion he recognised and enjoyed did not seem the mood he wanted

All these unfamiliar emotions were appearing and he didn't want any of them; they made his well-known feelings wrong, disjointed. What this new emotion might be was something he didn't want to reflect on. The bird would tell him soon enough; she wouldn't let an opportunity like this pass, but she said nothing.

The waiter returned unexpectedly fast. After serving the food and drink, he left, closing the door behind him.

Conversation ceased as they ate, with only the occasional requests for certain dishes to be passed. Madarame seemed more intent on drinking rather than eating, but after a severe glance from Retsu and a quiet remark from Hanatoro, he drank water and toyed with the food. He did not seem very hungry. Zaraki let his mind drift as he ate thinking about the conversation he'd had at the tea house with the 2nd Division intruder.

"But what about the dolls?" The question came from Madarame.

Returning from his reverie, Zaraki realised that all the members of the party were now eating slowly and were waiting for him to explain why he bought the dolls.

"I want to guess. Let's all guess," Yachiru demanded excitedly. "Are you going to send them to each person they look like and say they're from Captain Clown?" Yachiru seemed enchanted by the idea. "Everyone will think it's creepy. I would, or would I? Is there a doll of me, Ken-Chan? Can I see it? Will you give it to me? Pleeeease?"

"That's a stupid idea. Sorry, Assistant Captain, but that won't work. Sure it's creepy but not really enough for payback." Ignoring the tongue that Yachiru was poking out at him, Madarame made his suggestion. "I know what you're going to do. You're going to treat them like they're voodoo dolls. Do things to the dolls that make them look like you've put a curse on them and then send them to their real counterpart, signing the finks' name. That would freak me out and cause a lot of worry," Madarame's mouth twisted into a half smile as he made the suggestion.

The last possibility had not crossed Zaraki's mind. That idea was good, but he still preferred his own.

Yumichika shuddered. "Voodoo is ugly. If it were me, I would dress all the females in male traditional costume and the males in female traditional costume. It would be cute, and might be seen as a threat of some kind. But some of the costumes could be so beautiful." Yumichika cradled his chin in his hands as he imagined the beauty of the trick. "Although I don't think it would suit you, Captain," he said to Zaraki after a few seconds of contemplation.

Madarame stared at his friend. "What the hell are you talking about? Who would make the clothes? You? What's threatening about that? Cross dressing? It might be more threatening if you implied that the crawler was trying to set everyone up as couples, like sending a doll of Nemu dressed in wedding clothes to you. Make it seem like she was making a proposal, but I don't see how you could tie that to Captain Kurotsuchi. Both are seriously deranged ideas and I'm willing to forget them, it you are."

The suggestions, interesting as they were, offered a distraction from his thoughts. "Ayasegawa, that suggestion would have to be the furthest from my idea so far. Cross-dressing? Not bloody likely." Zaraki smiled a little as he reflected on the idea. It was funny, but was not getting even.

Yumichika pouted and then said waspishly, "If you want a basic idea you could knock the Captain unconscious in his quarters, disrobe him and then arrange the dolls in various stages of undress to make it appear he has perverted sexual tastes. The way that man treats his daughter is criminal and I'm sure he has strange preferences."

Retsu shuddered noticeably at the thought and Zaraki felt slightly queasy as he identified the obvious flaw in the plan. "That means someone would have to undress him. Are you prepared to touch him, Ayasegawa?"

Frowning in response, the fifth seat shook his head quickly. "No. I think there are some things in this life I would prefer not to explore." The disgust in his voice was strong.

"And you'd have to get into his quarters, and then make certain the Captain-General visited him," Madarame pointed out, rubbing his arm gently. Retsu reached out and removed his hand from his arm, with a quiet remonstrance.

Zaraki shook his head hard, trying to dislodge the unfortunate mental picture that the suggestion had brought to mind. Where did the guy get his ideas? It was bad enough having to look at the guy fully dressed.

"You haven't got some way to animate the dolls so that they will attack Captain Kurotsuchi, have you, Sir?' Hanatoro lisped. "It would be very embarrassing if he was found being chased by a group of small dolls."

Looking at the man, Zaraki wished it were possible. How could he animate the dolls? "Good idea, but no," he reluctantly said.

Retsu glanced around the group. "Everyone else has guessed, so it's my turn. I have no idea what you have planned, Zaraki. You could put the dolls in his quarters and invite the Captain-General to accompany you on a visit to Kurotsuchi to show no ill feeling. If the dolls were found in his room, it might make him look strange. I know it's a weak idea."

"He doesn't need help looking strange," Yumichika fluttered. "He must be hideous and tries to hide it under all the paint and body adornments. I fear seeing what he would look like au naturel. My earlier suggestion caused me to frown and I don't want the wrinkles." Theatrically he threw himself into a position of prayer. "Please don't let me see the Clown Captain without his make-up or clothing. I withdraw my suggestion without reservation and apologise humbly for subjecting everyone to that disturbing mental image."

Yachiru giggled and clapped her hands. "You're being silly, Pretty Boy. I like it. Say something else funny."

Throughout the interplay, Zaraki reflected on the variety of ideas people had for the prank. In a way, he would have liked to use the perverted idea that Yumichika had suggested, but knew he wouldn't be able to touch the Captain and could not expect anyone else to do so. He waited until Yumichika and Yachiru stopped exchanging insults and cleared his throat loudly.

"Yeah. The problem is I'll need your help, Retsu." He stopped, unsure how to continue and did not know if he even wanted to continue.

"Careful Kenny. There are only two tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want. The other is getting it. The dilemma is you want what you are requesting. I told you to think about this carefully. If it accords with advantage, then act. If it does not accord with advantage, then stop." The sound of Atonomatsuri's voice momentarily shocked him. She had been so quiet until now, that he had forgotten her warnings.

"You're talking to me again? I thought you'd finally worked out I didn't want to talk to you. I'll try to be less subtle next time. I wish I could feed you to that Hollow I keep dreaming about," Zaraki didn't want to be distracted, but answered in case she decided to nag at him while he tried to talk.

"Nil sapientiaw odiosius acumine nimio. Nothing is more hateful to wisdom than too much cunning. You are not wise, Kenny boy; I am. Nor are you cunning, except with the shrewdness of a brute beast. Using your instinct is not cunning, nor is voicing needless, hurtful insults. I despair; truly despair that we will be able to come to any further understanding. We are stuck forever at this impasse, where you will not even consider any type of compromise." Atonomatsuri did not draw breath as she spoke.

The sound of her voice hurt Zaraki's mind and he tried to think of an insult or threat that might hush her, but decided it was a waste of time. The warnings she uttered did not interest him. Once he shared his plan, the worst they could do was laugh. If it was a really bad idea, they would let him know and maybe he would use Madarame's suggestion, with a few changes.

"Here's my plan. I want to get a replica of the Captain-General's coat, and his chair. When we have them and when its quiet I need you to visit Kurotsuchi in his office with some drugged sake, Retsu. I think it would be best if it were you, from what you've been saying. Encourage him to drink the sake. When he's unconscious, we go in; place him in the chair; change coats and set up the dolls like they're there for a Captain's meeting. We can put in a few of the others, especially the traitors. I want it to look like he aims to replace the Captain-General."

There were a few titters and gasps as he finished talking.

"So who will make sure the Captain-General sees this little tableau?" Yumichika asked avidly.

"Oh, it'll have to be me. I'll pretend that I want to put aside our differences," Zaraki said, sighing. The lie would hurt, but he was prepared for that.

"It's too obvious, Zaraki. The Captain-General is not stupid; he'll know it's a hoax and we'll both be implicated. When he visited me today, Captain Kurotsuchi was expressing his view that you had lost your reason and should be stripped of your rank and either executed or expelled from Seireitei as you pose a danger to everyone. He cited a number of proofs including: you've been seen talking to yourself; undergone a personality change as demonstrated by your adjusted direction for 11th Division and you could now be labelled violently unpredictable due to your 'unprovoked' attack on your 3rd seat. If you try to play a trick like this, it might be seen as confirmation." Retsu drew a deep breath and sighed as she finished.

This news was a disagreeable shock. He knew that the Clown Captain hated him, but had not realised to what extent the hatred had grown. Exactly what threat did he pose that made the man wish to destroy him, even cause his death? It made little sense. It toughened his desire for revenge.

"It could still work, if Captain Zaraki didn't mind changing it a little," Hanatoro said. "It might be humiliating for you, Captain, but could prove more realistic."

All eyes immediately fastened on the quietly spoken medical officer. "Tell us, tell us," squealed Yachiru excitedly.

"Yeah, I want to know," Madarame urged, nodding quickly. His eyes still had the fevered gaze Zaraki had noticed earlier.

"Captain Zaraki should be the one to visit with the sake," he began. "It would seem like a gesture of reconciliation if he visited, maybe taking some food as well. In fact you could request the meeting formally."

Retsu was nodding. "I would have to be the one to bring the Captain-General. I see that; it would be more convincing."

Zaraki glanced at Hanatoro and realised something else. "To make it really forceful I'd have to be drugged as well and put in a subservient position; that would make it seem more likely he had planned it and drugged the sake. I hope you don't want me to be kneeling because I wouldn't be able to remain upright."

"Unless you were bound in that position," was the thoughtful observation of Yumichika.

Zaraki erupted at the thought, revulsion tangible in his voice. "Drugged I can cope with, but not tied up alone in a room with that guy. That's not even kinky, it's beyond deviance. What if he woke up? You've been going on that the Captain has a fetish for me. Damn you, Ayasegawa. Now I feel even more edgy about this."

"But he's right, Captain. If you were tied up, it would be more effective." Madarame reluctantly supported his friend's submission.

Zaraki scowled at them both. His idea was rapidly becoming more unpleasant as further suggestions were made. He could not deny that the recommendations would make the whole scenario more plausible, but at what cost? It would be shaming for Captain Kenpachi Zaraki to be found in an inferior position, especially to someone he despised. This scheme would not work and he would have to think of another.

"I warned you, Kenny boy, didn't I? Water conforms to whatever vessel it is placed in. When in a glass, it takes the shape of the glass. When in a pitcher, it takes the form of the pitcher. When it flows in a river, it moves freely and without restraint. Your idea has been released from the shallow confines of your feeble mind and is growing into a raging flood over which you have no control. It is futile to try to contain the power," Atonomatsuri was cackling madly as her earlier caution was proved.

"I think it's a bad idea if Lolly brings the Big Man. He knows you are friends and so does the Clown. It'll seem dodgy," Yachiru piped in. "We need someone from another Division."

Zaraki remembered his earlier conversation with the intruder in his office. Their agreement covered just this type of situation. "I have an idea." Quickly he outlined the new strategy.

"I'm not sure that asking someone else to be involved is wise. The more people that know, the greater the chance that the secret will become general knowledge," Yumichika pointed out one matter that had caused Zaraki some unease. It reminded him of one of the adages that Atonomatsuri had used.

"The 2nd Division normally holds aloof from the feuding that occurs between most Divisions. Captain Fon's integrity is beyond question," Retsu spoke slowly, examining the suggestion as she talked. Her face and tone were thoughtful and she picked up her cup to sip the sake.

"If we do this soon, there's less chance of someone blabbing. Let's do it tomorrow," Madarame urged. "I'll help."

"Can we get a coat and chair that quickly? They're special items," Yumichika wondered aloud. He was tapping his fingers gently on his chin as his eyes gazed at the ceiling.

"I've already arranged for them," Zaraki had made a detour on the way to 1st Division. The coat and chair would be delivered tomorrow. If you knew the right contacts, anything could be obtained for the right price, even replica Captain's coats.

Zaraki passed the sake around. His idea had not been dismissed but it still made him feel uneasy, being found drugged and tied up in the whey faced maggots office.

Retsu sighed and shook her head. "It won't work; I know it won't work. The Captain would not trust you enough to drink with you and no one will believe it if you are found tied up in his office. Who could believe that Captain Kurotsuchi overcame and bound you, Zaraki? You managed to defend yourself when you were in a weakened state only a few days ago. The other problem is that when he became conscious he would realise he had been drugged."

It was true. The idea had these major flaws. Feeling disheartened but also glad that he didn't have to be tied up, Zaraki drained his cup and quickly drank another. Damn it. He hadn't thought revenge would be this hard. The voodoo suggestion was now the only one left but it would take time and he wanted to act fast.

"You can never plan the future by the past. Think about it another way. Do I have to spoon feed you the idea, Kenny, or do you see what is required? You've just been too lazy to think it through properly. Think about the man; think about what you know about the man. You are missing the key element." For once, he was pleased to hear Atonomatsuri's voice. She was telling him something in her usual manner, but her words had sparked an idea.

'You're right, Retsu. It won't work because the guy is not predictable, except in one thing, his greed. He'd never wear the Commander's coat when there was any chance of anyone seeing him. He wouldn't drink with me, no matter what, but he would take stuff if he thought he could get away with it. I've had another idea, but the problem is we've still got to get into his office. How?"

Yumichika jumped slightly and then opened his mouth, thought better of it, shut it and then he shook his head. A slight tinge of colour stained his cheeks and Zaraki looked at him dubiously. Was the guy blushing?

"What is it? Come on Yumichika, tell us. It's about that secret visitor you've had for the last two days? I've listened to the gossip and I saw her leave." Madarame smiled widely at his friend. "I heard you yelled at her recently, in front Yachiru and the Captain. Was that when it started?"

Glaring, Yumichika waved a finger in his friend's face. "Shut up. It's my business. Anyway it was your idea as a way of getting back at…" He seemed very upset at the knowledge that he was being watched.

"Yeah, I suggested it in passing, but you didn't have to do anything about it. I thought you'd tell me first seeing we're such old friends," Madarame continued, ignoring the interruption.

"I did tell you I was thinking about it, but you don't remember. You were drunk. Anyway, why should I tell you everything? It's not like it's important." Yumichika annoyance was plain in his voice and he almost frowned.

"What the hell are you two talking about? I'm not interested who Ayasegawa is sleeping with," Zaraki really didn't want to know.

"He's sleeping with the Clown Captain's daughter. For some reason he felt sorry for her after he yelled at her and they bumped into each other that night. Remember, we'd just worked out your office might be bugged and I mentioned to this idiot that one way to get back at the guy was to subvert his daughter. I didn't expect him to do this. Shows real loyalty, doesn't it, Captain?" Madarame was quite happy to provide the explanation, disregarding Yumichika's complaints.

All eyes were turned on the protesting man. He seemed uncomfortable at the observation and refused to look at anyone. Zaraki started to laugh. Fate was playing into his hands and he wanted to take advantage of this new fact.

"You can arrange access to the office. Great! You'll fix up that for us won't you, Ayasegawa? With your special friend," try as he might, Zaraki could not keep the grin off his face.

"Pretty Boy has a girlfriend? I didn't think you liked girls, or people really, except Baldy and the Captain, oh and me, of course," Yachiru observed, her voice slurred by the sweets she had stuffed into her mouth.

"She's not my girlfriend and we're not sleeping together. Hell, we've only talked. She's nothing to me, except a tool to get back at her father," the blustering had an element of candour in it.

"Poor girl. Don't be needlessly cruel to her. She already has a great amount of sadness in her life without being used against her father," Unohana cautioned. Her manner was grave as she looked at Yumichika. "I hope you are telling the truth."

"I am. The girl and I talk, that's it and not for very long. Her father wants her to be nearby so he can abuse her when he feels like it," Yumichika protested. "I haven't touched her." Zaraki stopped smiling as he heard the sincerity in the words. For a moment he felt a new respect for his friend.

"It's a pity she's such a drip," Yachiru observed. "Maybe I should help her."

The room erupted into laughter as everyone present thought of how Yachiru could help Nemu.

"How would you help?" jeered Madarame. "Get her addicted to lollies? Great idea, she'll be on a sugar high and still be a drip."

"There's nothing wrong with eating lollies," Yachiru yelled back her face twisted with anger. "It's better than having a head as shiny and empty as yours."

"Or will you persuade her to put training wheels on her zanpaku-to? I don't remember ever seeing her use one," Hanatoro suggested quietly.

"I think it is a good idea, Assistant Captain, if you try to help her. You have a kind and generous nature and I think you would be a good friend to Assistant Captain Kurotsuchi," Retsu said supportively with a smile for Yachiru. "She needs friends."

"Don't talk about me," Yumichika insisted. "You can instruct her in the finer points of chocolates, cinnamon and Pocky, anything; but don't talk about me."

Madarame eyed his friend, a hint of mirth in his gaze. "Any why don't you want them to talk about you?"

"So you won't be able to get us in the office?" Zaraki interrupted before anyone could continue down this embarrassing track. Yumichika was becoming noticeable agitated, his brow was creased and he was pulling stray threads off his uniform. The slight tinge of pink on his cheeks threatened to become more florid.

"No, I can get the keys, that's easy enough," Yumichika sighed unwillingly. "I already took an impression of them when she borrowed my concealer to mask some bruises. I felt sorry for her, but the situation was too good to pass up. I can get the key made tomorrow."

"We have the dolls, we have access. Now how do we get the skunk drunk or drugged enough to make this work. We can't expect the girl to help," Zaraki was thinking this through. One more piece was needed in this puzzle.

Retsu suggested, "If Captain Kurotsuchi met someone he felt had slighted him, or whom he didn't respect, carrying a bottle of fine sake, would he take it? Trick him out of it some way? We know he's greedy and doesn't forgive insults readily. Would that work?"

The silence in the room allowed time for consideration of the suggestion. It couldn't be a Captain; it had to be an underling. This awareness made him also understand that if he were not directly involved in the execution of the scheme, it would make any connection more difficult to prove. "It's risky. It would have to be very good sake, or rum. I have some very good overproof rum. I don't drink it, hate the taste; maybe we could use that," Zaraki suggested.

"But why would an ordinary shinigami carry expensive spirits around? That idea's for the birds." Madarame crushed the suggestion ruthlessly.

"Birds? Did someone mention me?" Atonomatsuri asked eagerly. "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. The early bird catches the worm."

"What are you squawking on about? You're not in a bush and you're not worth anything. Do vultures even roost in bushes; I thought they hung around in trees waiting for something to die. Do you even eat worms? Do you eat? Why are you using those adages anyway? They're pretty boring. Are you finally running out of the bleeding things? Wait a minute; Madarame used an adage." Zaraki realised as he was talking to Atonomatsuri. Glaring at his underling, Zaraki noticed that Madarame had become quiet and pale while clutching his wounded arm to his chest. The rage he had felt earlier when Retsu had talked about the 12th Division Captain returned, with more intensity.

"It was a mistake. I take it back. I didn't mean it," Madarame stuttered as he quailed under the heat of Zaraki's gaze. It was obvious he realised his error.

"What is going on? Madarame, have you got a pain in your chest or do you have pins and needles in your left arm? Let me take your pulse. Why are you staring at Madarame like that, Zaraki? Stop it; and stop growling," Retsu urged, shocked.

Zaraki hadn't noticed he was growling. He continued to glare while he controlled the unconscious threatening noise.

"He said an adage and Ken-chan hates the things. He warned us never to say one in front of him and not to mention birds," Yachiru said in a subdued voice. Her sugar high had left her and the smile on her face fled as she looked anxiously at her Captain.

"But it's only an adage, just a group of words," Retsu said confused while she checked the wounded man's pulse and then seemed to remember. "Wait a minute. Adages and Atonomatsuri! Oh, I understand the reaction now, but it's needless anger. Zaraki; let it go; you nearly killed the man today."

"Nearly, but I didn't. You're on warning; understand, Madarame?" Zaraki found it hard to speak around the rage that was nearly choking him. "

"I'll do the paperwork tomorrow," was the quavering response. "I'll finish it all."

"I nearly finished it all today," Yumichika remonstrated feeling his work had been ignored but quietly so as not to attract Zaraki's ire.

"You can't write with your arm in that condition," Retsu protested.

"I don't care about the frigging paperwork but you'll do it anyway because it will hurt. Right, Madarame, you're the patsy. You can be the one who Kurotsuchi takes the rum from. We'll put you near his office or in the gutter, drugged or drunk, whatever? You'll have two bottles, one empty to show you're drunk and the rum. I know I'll put a card on it to say it's from me to you as an apology." Listening to what he said made Zaraki stop. He didn't apologise. Then he had an inspiration. "If the guy thinks I'm seriously unbalanced he would believe I'd apologise. Hell, he'd want to believe it. Taking a gift from you would suit his personality. He feels that you stuffed him around when the ryoka were here and he's petty enough to want some reprisal," in his anger, Zaraki realised this was the missing piece. Madarame injured and drunk would prove an irresistible target for the 12 Division Captain. "You better be nearby, just in case he wants to get physical," he directed Yumichika.

"Okay, okay, anything, Captain. I didn't mean it," Madarame's colour was returning to normal. "Can I have some sake? To recover from the shock?"

Zaraki gave a grim smile and poured sake for all of them, except Yachiru who was reaching into the bag of lollies. "Let's talk about something else. Any one know any good jokes?"

An hour later, after many jokes and silly stories were told, the party broke up. As he walked back to his quarters, Zaraki was surprised he had not killed Madarame. "Must be maturing or something," he thought.

"You, mature? Not likely; but you didn't act badly, for a former Hollow," Atonomatsuri stated sleepily.

* * *

_Author's Note:_

Finally, I managed to explain why he bought the dolls. (Yay. Does the lucky dance). Additional questions will be answered in the next chapter.

I used some of the suggested adages. Thank you to Solaris Prime (I had to change your adage a little to fit the plot), MmeStrange and Specter Von Baron. Special thanks to Gigawolf13, but more of that later.

Also a very special thank you to Specter Von Baron who beta read the first three pages of this story and made some great suggestions. Specter, you're a damn fine spook.

If you want the details of what happened with the 2nd Division person who broke into Zaraki's office, the spin-off story: _The Limited Edition Doll_ will provide that information.

It was a close run thing. I almost slipped a romance between Yumichika and Nemu into this story, but came to my senses. I don't wish to receive death threats because of the non emergence of the romance story between Zaraki and Unohana. (It's on the list, really; see it's number 4. Ooops. I didn't mean to show you that list. Now you know about the one-shot featuring Kurotsuchi, which is at the top of the list. Quick, look deep in my eyes, you are feeling sleepy, very sleepy; you're asleep. You will forget about that list and instead write a review. Wake up now, you're refreshed and preparing to write a positive review of this chapter. Well, I can hope anyway.)

I apologise to anonymous reviewers, but I had to disable that function. The choice was either that, or not posting any more stories. To all the reviewers who have provided support and advice, thank you.

The next chapter will be shorter.

Please review.

MS


	24. Mixing Memory

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Mixing Memory**

Warning: Angst and other stuff, including sentiment.

He was only half listening to Atonomatsuri, musing instead on the scheme and the possibility of discrediting Kurotsuchi. The plan had changed radically and bore very little resemblance to his original idea, but having heard the weaknesses of his proposal outlined, he was satisfied that the new strategy might work. Not that it mattered, but the money he had paid for the dolls, the chair and the coat were not wasted and he would be free of that bloody rum that had belonged to the previous Captain of the 11th Division.

He hadn't told the complete truth when he said he didn't like rum because of the taste. It was true he didn't enjoy the flavour, but he hated rum because of the man he'd killed for his position. While he wore his coat as a badge of honour, the smell of rum reminded him of the man more clearly; made him recall why he hated him so viciously and killed him in the most humiliating way possible.

Casting his mind back to when he entered the Soul Reaper Academy with Yachiru, many people had looked at him, shocked at this tall, atypical man with a doll like child as a companion. One or two had tried to dissuade Yachiru from entering the Academy, saying she was too young and would find the life of a Shinigami difficult. She had not been pleased at the implied criticism.

"Return when you're older," one said. "You are still a child and should spend your childhood enjoying yourself."

"Like starving to death? Or being beaten? Or used as a slave? No one takes care of the children out there, you know that numbskull. The kid stays with me. Either we both enter, or we both go. If we leave, I might just take a keepsake to remember this place, like your ear." Zaraki growled at the man, unimpressed by his words or his fear.

"I was only thinking that… Why should I explain? You'll find out," the teacher said, turning his back and walking away. Zaraki watched him leave, not even slightly interested in what caused his fear.

"What was that about Ken-chan? Are we staying? Do I get to wear the cool black outfit and carry a zanpaku-to like yours?" Yachiru chirruped, grabbing him by his hand.

"Yeah, we're staying," he assured her.

Zaraki had resolved that he would earn the title Kenpachi Zaraki as soon as possible and to try to speed up the process he'd talked to his zanpaku-to, once, but didn't really believe anything would happen, and it didn't. Instead he honed his fighting skills and looked for a possible Captain he could challenge. It had to be a renowned fighter so it would at least be a contest, but he wanted another factor: something to make the fight more interesting.

When they finally graduated, and were placed in the 11th Division, he found out why there had been the attempt to persuade Yachiru to wait until she was older. Some depraved jerk had placed them both in the Division that contained a Captain, well liked and respected by all; except children. The very few children in the Seireitei were kept out of his sight. Few knew of his problem, but everyone knew of his liking for rum. Many who wanted to gain his favour regularly presented him with bottles of rum, Zaraki never did.

People had been fond of the guy, just as they had liked Aizen, fooled by the pretence, unwilling to look beyond the surface. It hadn't concerned him, the guy was his Captain and they had little to do with each other. One gave orders, the other obeyed, as much as he felt was necessary. Zaraki had been able to tolerate him, thinking the guy was fond of Yachiru as he gave her sweets and constantly told her how cute she was.

Cute, but also clever. Yachiru would take the sweets and throw them away as soon as she was out of visual range which made him wonder because she would then force Zaraki to buy her more. What was so different about the sweets the Captain gave to her and the one's he bought? Whenever the Captain was near, she would stay close to Zaraki, often hiding behind him, or clinging to the back of his uniform, burrowing against him. He asked her about it, but she just shook her head and changed the subject and he didn't feel like following it up. She would tell him one day, if it was important.

One day it became essential. Zaraki had been injured fighting a number of Hollows. He'd let his attention wander, just for a second because the fight was boring in its predictable dialogue. Why did Hollows want to talk during the fight? It was tedious hearing them constantly yapping on about how sweet Shinigami blood tasted and then saying that he would be defeated within minutes. Talking interrupted the fun.

Despite his protests, Yachiru had dragged him to 4th Division all the while scolding him for letting his guard slip. There was a lot of stuffing around in the medical area, with a number of Shinigami requiring attention, and he'd told Yachiru to wait for him back at his quarters knowing she might become bored and decide to make her stay more interesting. That would make 4th Division even less productive, and he wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.

Finally someone attended to his wounds and permitted him to leave. Walking through the twilight, he felt a measure of contentment in going home. He'd share a meal with Yachiru, and she'd go back to her quarters to sleep, but he liked her company when he was eating. He hadn't made too many friends since he'd become a Shinigami, but with Yachiru he didn't feel lonely. Some of the other members of his Division seemed scared of him, but at least the fear seemed mixed with respect.

Approaching his rooms, he noticed they were unnaturally quiet. The girl was usually singing or laughing or talking to herself, but he heard nothing. Opening the door he blinked hard at the smell of rum that mixed bizarrely with the normal scent of the lollies Yachiru ate, and then he blinked again at the sight before him. His captain was kneeling, pale with either fear or anger, Yachiru's blade at his throat. He'd seen Yachiru angry before this time, but never had he seen her beset by implacable rage and ready to kill. A red hand shaped mark was on her face which had not been there when he last saw her. Who had dared to hit her?

Too often people accepted the appearance of childhood and treated her accordingly. She might look and act like a child, when it suited her, but that was part of her defence. Beneath the innocent exterior was a sharp and enquiring mind and very fast reflexes. Her graduation from the Academy had not been due to any favouritism, but instead a tribute to her extraordinary abilities. Their Captain had underestimated her, believed what he could see rather than what lay beneath the façade, and she never allowed that to occur twice.

"Ken-chan, could you take this person away from here, please, before I kill him?" It may have sounded like a question but he had no doubt it was an order.

Hauling his Captain to his feet, Zaraki threw him over his shoulder and took him back to headquarters. Dumping the man outside he heard him protest, "She didn't understand. How dare she treat me like this? I'm her Captain and she should never draw her zanpaku-to on me. I will speak to the Captain-General. Discipline must be maintained."

"Shut up, fool. I'm not interested in what you have to say. I trust Yachiru but I don't trust you. I'm going to find out what happened and then, if it's bad, I'll come after you." Zaraki left with that warning. As he walked back he dreaded the facts he might discover.

Opening the door, he noticed Yachiru sitting quietly, reading a book and not eating sweets. This was unusual behaviour and he hesitated a little before entering the room, unwilling to discover if his fears were correct. "Tell me," he said after closing the door and shutting the windows to make sure they were not overheard.

"No," was her blunt response.

"Kid, I can't help if you won't tell me." It was true. It was rare that she kept anything from him and she didn't like to ask for help. That would be weak and she despised weakness in others.

"Ken-chan, can I move my bed in here? Can you make sure you're always with me?" She did not look at him as she made the request, her attention still fixed on the book in her hands.

Zaraki began to feel sick, anticipating the problem. ""Did that depraved parasite touch you?"

Her eyes were shadowed with a wariness he had never seen before, her mouth drooped and she spoke as she rarely did, exposing her true nature. "It's not what you think, Ken-chan. He likes to hurt little kids; it makes him laugh to make us cry and makes him feel like a big man, but only when he's drunk. I've heard that one kid in Soul Society died when that man took it too far, but no-one did anything because he's a Captain and he bribed the family to keep it quiet. The kid had only arrived two days before he was killed and no-one cared. I knew about him; someone told me in the Academy, just to warn me. That's why I've been so careful to never be alone with him. That man tried to make me cry by hitting me, but he forgot that I'm a Shinigami and that you taught me how to fight. He only hit me once because that man did not bring his zanpaku-to and did not try to defend himself because he expected me to act like a kid. You were right about surprise being a factor when you fight a battle. I'm glad you came when you did." A small tear slipped down her cheek.

It was then his target was chosen. Not just because he'd made Yachiru cry, not because of his conduct with children, not because the guy was a drunkard, not because it was his own Captain and one of the most respected fighters in the Gotei 13. The main reason was the overwhelming fury that this disclosure had created within him. The Captain had treated them both with a lack of respect that made Zaraki's blood simmer; in addition the man had underestimated their skills. That mistake could not be repeated.

The next day he challenged the Captain, publicly, after training was finished. The man had accepted with fear and pained acceptance in his eyes knowing Zaraki's reputation and his expertise. Although the Captain had achieved bankai, it was not enough. The fight was over too fast for Zaraki to enjoy, but it finished with the predicted result. His Captain had fallen and he had earned his name. Yachiru was revenged. He had the man's coat, his position and his office and one bottle of rum that no one would drink. Now the rum would be a tool for payback.

His unpleasant reverie suddenly shuddered to a halt when he arrived back at his quarters. As he opened the door, his mind recalled something that now seemed important. What had the poor imitation of a buzzard said? Something about a former Hollow? He now realised that talking to Atonomatsuri was marginally more attractive than listening to a Hollow, but at least he could kill a Hollow to shut its mouth permanently.

"Hey, carcase breath, what was it you said? You mentioned a Hollow. Where? Is it in the Seireitei or does it only exist in that thing you call your mind." He wondered if she would even answer.

"I'm drowsy. I told you before that you should listen to what I say," Atonomatsuri yawned.

"Why are you always sleepy when I want to talk and why should I listen to your dim-witted chatter when I'm not interested?" was his irritable response to the bird. He searched his memory for a time when he had wanted to talk to her and she hadn't feigned sleep or something else.

"Why won't you converse with me when I'm awake and interested in the exchange of ideas? Hey, Kenny, The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out." the bird demurred.

"Adages, half truths, lies, damned lies, and bloody insults. Next you'll quote frigging statistics at me or some other half arsed crap. Explain," Zaraki found his temper was slipping out of his limited control.

"Explain," said Atonomatsuri meditatively. "Explain. Well, statistics are the result of collating data to provide numerical explanations for growth or…"

"Atonomatsuri," Zaraki bellowed drawing his zanpaku-to in preparation.

With a quick displacement of air, the vulture appeared in front of Zaraki, looking very confused, and as worried as a vulture could. In her case, she looked very worried. Before she could move Zaraki kicked out at her, forcing her to sprawl on the floor and deposited his foot heavily on her wing. She had answered his question when he'd done this previously, maybe it would work again. He flicked the point of his weapon over her wing once, just as a reminder and then rested the point on the membrane.

"We've been here before, Kenny. I thought you'd have your thick hands around my neck by now," was the bird's mulish comment. She did not struggle but lay there not even attempting to use her barbed tongue to poison him.

"You can't talk when I do that and this time you're going to talk. If I ask while you're not visible, you won't answer but this time you were stupid. For a creature that tells me how dumb I am you make some freakishly bad mistakes. I warned you and you didn't listen. I don't give a damn if you drag me back to that place you call my mind. Tell me; is this the big secret you've been hinting at?" Zaraki felt pitiless and Atonomatsuri was quiet, unmoving. He was unsure if she was thinking or attempting to annoy him, or he suspected, probably both. This time he would allow her to speak first. He wasn't that tired, he'd had a nap in the afternoon so he could quite happily remain where he was for some time.

"He, who knows nothing, doubts nothing."

The point of his zanpakuto trembled as he fought his desire to stab her and finish their unceasing battle. This struggle had plagued his recent days, compelling him to act in ways he had never wanted to behave, changing his life beyond the narrow limits where he had been comfortable. She wanted to dominate him with her words and he strove to defeat her with his strength. Neither would win, it was an equal contest as each of them had the same strength and the same determination. He was unsure if stabbing her would even kill her. The times she had told him that he could not kill her with herself, that if he killed her he would die and it was imperative that they trust each other, that partial truth and adages hid secrets, suddenly gave him the key.

"Truth," Zaraki said recalling the strange thing the Hollow had said to him in the dream.

"The secret truth is that you were a Hollow. The Captain-General was the person who freed you from that state. When you arrived in Soul Society you were full of self-hatred because you had killed your family while a Hollow. You hated yourself so much you sought death by constant battle with others, each fight taking you further from sanity but then your salvation came in the form of Yachiru. She changed you from the monster into the man," Atonomatsuri spoke as if reciting a lesson she had learned long ago.

Hearing the admission, Zaraki removed his foot from her wing and sat heavily on the bed. Truth was not what he expected, nor was it what he wanted to hear.

Atonomatsuri got shakily to her feet and looked at him in astonishment; at least that was the emotion he thought he could see on her face. "Who told you? Who knew that prompt, that single word that would unlock that secret? Only you were supposed to know that word, but you never used it as a single sentence before. How did you work it out? In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled. How did you clear the web?"

Zaraki was still trying to understand everything she had said. He had been a Hollow. That was the thing he didn't want to know; it was something he was aware he'd blocked from his memory. Why would he want to have that knowledge? He'd had the Hollow dreams when he had originally arrived in Soul Society and he'd paid no attention to them, trying to ignore their importance. This was the important truth that Atonomatsuri had promised to tell him before, but had refused to utter. She had required the key word: truth.

Trying to sort it out he began to speak aloud, to hear the words and see if he could understand them better. "I was a Hollow. The old man knows this because he defeated me." Pausing he found he could accept this, but it was not easy or palatable but it brought back a conversation he'd put out of his mind.

_Shortly after he had reached Soul Society, the old man had found him. "I want you to train at the Academy. A place is waiting for you and I have a zanpaku-to for you," he handed over the weapon. "I'm giving you this as a sign of good faith and in an attempt to demonstrate that I am in earnest."_

"_I'm not interested... I don't want to be a Soul Reaper, or whatever the hell you call it. You expect too much, old man. I'm here because of you, but you don't have to watch over me. I don't need anyone. I'll take the sword, but not the advice. See you." He took the offered blade and turned preparing to walk away. The guilt he denied he felt made it hard for him to function or even to talk to this man who had killed him too late. When he'd been a Hollow he had never had to face that emotion and loathed experiencing it again._

"_We need you; I need people like you. People with your level of spirit pressure are rare. You would be a valued member of the Gotei 13 and help in the ongoing war against the Hollows," the old man had persisted amazed at the rejection of his offer._

_That last comment stung. "I'm not interested in your ongoing war. If I went to your stinking Academy, everyone would know I was a Hollow once. Go and find some noble moron who actually cares." If he was rude enough, the self styled saviour might leave him alone. He never wanted to see his face again because it brought back all the despised memories._

"_No one would know. Why would they? There were no observers in our battle, no other participants. Give it a chance."_

"_Not now. Maybe later, old man. If I ever see a reason I'll let you know." He began to walk away, ignoring the other as he set out to find his place in this brutal world._

Although he had forgotten much, he had never really managed to erase the suggestion from his mind. It had always been an option in the place where there seemed to be no escape. Eventually, he had accepted the offer, mainly because of Yachiru.

Recollecting something he had said to Atonomatsuri the first time she had taken him into his mind, jarred him. He had told her that when he fought, he was fighting Death and had to win because if he lost then Death won. It was a crappy explanation. He had told himself the half truth so many times, he believed it. The bird had been correct when she said he screened the reason from himself. When he fought he was fighting himself, both the Hollow and the Soul he had become in Soul Society. He was the Death he constantly fought against.

Getting up he retrieved the bottle of sake stored in his cupboard, ignoring the outraged exhortations of the squawking, infuriated avian. It was highly possible that she was talking to him, but he could not hear her over the hum of his own thoughts. Instead of using a cup, he opened the bottle and swigged directly from it, ignoring the taste. If he could quiet is mind enough, he could think this through, but his thoughts were scattered and refused to come into focus. "I am Death. I am a former Hollow. I am Kenpachi Zaraki. I am no one. Death is all I am capable of giving. Life is the great lie and I am here to destroy and dispel all lies. "

"Zaraki, listen to me. I'm talking to you. Kenny. Kenpachi. Kenny boy. Thickhead. Hey you. Listen to me." Terror echoed through the voice, but he didn't listen.

He felt a sharp sting in his hand and looked down, momentarily distracted from his thoughts, and saw blood running freely from a large cut to his palm.

"Zaraki, are you listening. Can you hear me? Answer me you fool," the voice was insistent and very anxious.

"I listen to no one because I am Death. Death cannot be commanded or controlled, but can be granted to those who deserve the gift. I am swift and sure. I bow to no one, obey no rules except my own. I rule all I touch, for my touch brings death and release from pain," the voice in his head kept talking, reciting his thoughts in the days before Yachiru crawled into his life and showed him there was more than blood and pain in the world. He could hear his voice repeating these words aloud and this convinced him that he had been completely insane before her influence moderated his life, believing that his true purpose was to bring death to all.

He had told Yachiru that he had no name when he met her, though he often mentally called himself Thanatos. A snivelling man had called him that as he drove his blade into the man's chest and he liked the sound of the word. Later he looked it up and found out it was the Greek name for the incarnation of Death. On the whole he preferred the name Kenpachi Zaraki, because now everyone knew that name and feared or respected its owner. He still was a death bringer, a death god, but now he fought more often to protect, and have a bit of fun, rather than just kill.

It was Yachiru's influence that caused him to spare Madarame's life when they first fought. She liked to watch him fight, celebrated his victories, encouraged him to enjoy his battles, but her distaste for needless killing slowly changed him. "Why do you always kill them Ken-chan? If you don't kill them, one or two of them might learn how to fight properly and then you can play with them again." He had smiled at her, the simple words she spoke affected him and he had let Madarame live.

"I knew it. I knew you wouldn't be able to cope with this. Get a grip, you stupid Shinigami. The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep."

Sleep? Despair? What was the vituperative vulture going on about this time? "Crap, another adage. What do you mean I wouldn't be able to cope with this? Did that bug in your brain lay eggs, or something? Get a grip! The only thing I want a grip on is your neck," Zaraki wondered why the bird was acting like this. "Do you think I'm so weak minded that being told I am a former Hollow would drive me nuts? I was just remembering, then and now. I was insane then, now I'm not, despite what any frigging cream and black faced Captain, or you, think. Why did you cut me this time? Was it because I ignored you earlier, or I didn't thank you for your advice? Which particular slight made you to do this, or are you trying to prove something, that my reflexes are not as good as they were? What is it? Come on, tell me."

"You're lucid? You're making sense, well as much sense as you ever make. I didn't think you were capable of adjusting to this new truth." The respect in Atonomatsuri's voice was an illusion he was sure. She was going to say some particularly bad adage at any moment, he knew it.

"Lucid? Yeah, so? You knew about the Hollow dreams returning. The Hollow in the dream told me. No, that's wrong. The Hollow said something about using the word only. He'd been raving about truth so I thought that might be what I was meant to say. At least it worked this time. For once you answered my question without the usual garbage," Zaraki took another swallow of sake not wishing to think about who the Hollow might be. The slow burn down the throat felt good and it felt even better when it hit his stomach but it did not warm him. "That's good. Do you want some?" He offered the bottle to Atonomatsuri.

She indicated she didn't want any, still looking at him, bemused by his words.

"I just realised something about one of those adages you used when Madarame was being stupid, the one about the early bird. That couldn't apply to you, could it? I mean you're always too late, so you can never be the early bird," Zaraki started to laugh at his joke and noted that the bird did not seem appreciative of his wit.

Atonomatsuri flexed her wings to their full extent, again enforcing the fact that she was larger than a normal vulture and would probably terrify any unsuspecting Shinigami. The decomposition which had been plain in his earlier interactions with her was not so obvious and she seemed to phase into that form less often. After stretching her wings she rearranged her body, arching her neck and blinking her eyes slowly as she swayed slightly back and forth. Noticing her strangely hypnotic movement, Zaraki watched her closely, apprehension causing him to note whether her beak stroked her feathers or if the tongue emerged. He didn't want to go back into his mind. When she dropped to the floor without doing either, he drank another slug of sake in a silent toast to his luck, or lack of it. The alcohol was not calming him and he considered that his interaction with the bird was turning him into an alcoholic like his former Captain. His mood deteriorated significantly at that possibility.

"If you're trying to anger me, you will fail," she began.

"Yeah, you're such a serene individual. Is my mind playing tricks or were you scared? You even called me Zaraki which indicates you must have been frantic. Why would you worry if I went crazy?" Asking questions he knew would not be answered, Zaraki felt resentful.

"I wasn't worried. You're mind is tricking you because you abused it for…."

"So long that it prefers to trust a vulture addicted to adages," Zaraki concluded the sentence for her, bitterness rising within him, at yet another slight from the feathered freak show. 'You were scared that a simple memory would drive me over the edge so you cut my hand to get a response. Don't try that with me, Atonomatsuri, because you're too late. You were scared out of your skin that a simple truth had crushed my mind and you panicked. Now, why is that?" He grinned at her savagely and then drank some more sake. He knew he should stop, but the last few days had been full of events, not all of them pleasant and this was another of the disagreeable dealings.

"Still seeking forgetfulness, Zaraki?" The bird's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Zaraki, again! Yeah, I want to forget. Tell me what's so good about remembering things?" He did not try to conceal the hostility he was feeling. The new knowledge had changed him irrevocably. The only bright side to this situation he could see was that at least he wasn't stuck in that wilderness of his mind that he had grown to loathe, but he wasn't sure how long that would last.

* * *

_Author's Note:_

As you may recall, Zaraki mentioned he hated rum in the last chapter and it made me wonder why. That explains why the first part of the chapter was not an immediate response to the Atonomatsuri's disclosure.

The excerpt of the poem by T.S. Elliott I quoted in Chapter 18 was, of course, _The Hollow Men._ If I told you then it would have given too much of a clue, so I didn't. I do not know if anyone has read this story as closely as I have (why would you? You have better things to do) but I have been laying the groundwork about Zaraki being a former Hollow from before Chapter 9. I got the idea of Zaraki being a former Hollow from a story by Gigawolf1 called _What If?_ In this story, Zaraki is an Arrancar, but I liked the former Hollow idea. Great story, but it hasn't been updated for some time, which is a pity. I asked Gigawolf1 for permission to use that idea and this was kindly given. Thanks again.

One little thing is I sometimes do make subtle changes to the already published chapters when I note spelling mistakes or confounded grammar or something stupid. If you're re-reading a chapter (see brackets above) and think it might have changed, you may be correct.

In the next chapter I hope to once again feature Piecrust, delve into a little payback and maybe raise the stakes for the bets between Madarame and Renji. That's the plan, Zaraki and Atonomatsuri permitting. (Don's knuckle dusters and full body Kevlar and retrieves bayonet in preparation for the coming fight. Okay you two, I will win, or I might if I had a zanpaku-to.)

Thank you for the reviews so far. Please review this chapter.

MS


	25. Irustamonota

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Irustamonota**

"Memento Mori," a distracted Atonomatsuri uttered the Latin tag.

"Remember you must die, or will die, or whatever the hell that translates to. As apt adages go, I think you missed it this time. I asked what's so good about remembering and you tell me I will die. I've died twice and wandered around for years thinking I was Death. What's another death? The only thing I fear about death is I won't be able to fight any more." This conversation was deteriorating and the resentment was becoming stronger with each adage. Trying to find a more comfortable position to listen to the bird, he leant back against the wall, the bottle still in his hand. While he was unsure if he wanted to drink anymore, he was loath to let go of the bottle because it would provide a short lived oblivion if he didn't mind coping with the consequences.

"You're lying. You fear death more now than at any other time since you came to Soul Society. You have friends, you won the name you wanted, you've been having fun planning what you will do to the Clown Captain, there's the upcoming war against the Arrancar which I know you're looking forward to, and you have me. What more could you desire?" Atonomatsuri preened apparently confident in his appreciation.

"What more could I desire?" Zaraki did not try to conceal the irony in his tone. The liquid in the bottle sloshed as he gulped another mouthful. "A manifestation of my zanpaku-to that wasn't you would be a good start. Getting even with the Clown Captain. Not being a former Hollow. And proper explanations of why you change shape when I say 'yawn' seeing you're supposed to be in constant release, an explanation of why you actually appeared in physical form the first time, why everything I have to do with you becomes so damned difficult and why I'm constantly making new friends."

Atonomatsuri sighed heavily. "I am the way I am because of you. I told you that before. I'll try to explain again, very simply so your miniscule intellect can process the information. Unlike other zanpaku-to's you named me when you took me from the Captain-General because you were thinking 'too late' the first time you held me. I had another name but you renamed me and perverted my form and nature and that name and form can never be regained, which is another reason I've hated you all this time. Hate is like acid. It can damage the vessel in which it is stored as well as destroy the object on which it is poured. Hate destroys us both."

"You hate me? I would never have guessed; it's not like you've ever mentioned it before now and this time you even used an adage. I appreciate how you're really dumbing down the information, but I'm still having trouble understanding because your mind is superior to mine," Zaraki decided that sarcasm was not affecting Atonomatsuri and it was not amusing him. "Have we ever had a conversation when you haven't mentioned that you hate me? Stop telling me? Pretend that you told me and I actually cared, if that makes it easier. But the other form and name, you never told me that. How am I supposed to know that? Did you send me smoke signals that I missed? Or perhaps each time you talk it's really a coded message. That would probably make more sense than the crap that normally emerges from your bloody beak."

"What one knows it is sometimes useful to forget. You forgot, whether by choice or insanity I'm not sure. How could I tell you? You didn't remember receiving me from Yamamoto or being a Hollow. I had to wait until now, until everything was revealed. If you can try to remember I told you before: you're not like other Shinigami and I am not like any other zanpaku-to. Because of my corruption at your hands I've an additional shape and can appear before you when you summon me by calling my name. I thought I'd explained all this before. Maybe I should have tried to use a PowerPoint presentation, but they never work they only manage to put people to sleep and I don't imagine you'd stay awake more than a few minutes."

Zaraki rested his eyes as the bird blathered on. So, he was different, big shock there. The resentment was growing at the continual accusations and he wondered how he could get her to go away. He'd never been in this position and thought for a little while, her words washing over him in a tide of sound that ebbed and flowed, but remained a constant series of waves. "If saying her name makes her appear, unsaying her name will make her go. I've drunk too much. I think I made up the word unsaying. How do you unsay something? You can't take words back. It's not that I've drunk too much; I think it's that I haven't drunk enough. Another drink. Ah, that feels good. She's still talking about something. I think she mentioned her pain again. It's actually better this way. I can't hear her, so I miss the adages and the crap. The only problem I can see is that she might say something useful for once, but she'll say it again later, probably at the worst time. This wall is hard; I want to be a bit more comfortable. Why not lie down? Her tongue would put an insomniac to sleep without her using the poison." Zaraki lay on the bed, still holding the bottle from which he took frequent refreshment as Atonomatsuri continued to speak.

"Are you even listening to me, Kenny?" Her voice was sharp.

Keeping his eyes closed he replied, "No. From being worried about me and actually telling me something I might want to know, you're now boring the crap out of me. Why should I pay attention? How do I unsummon you?"

"You're displaying your inability to understand the fundamentals of language. There is no such word as 'unsummon'. Next you'll use some other made up word that reveals your ignorance even more, like unvanish or disshelved or unblack. Why do you wish to dismiss me? We haven't finished talking."

He heard her feathers rustle as she moved closer to the bed. "We have. Go away. Irustamonota! Hell that sounds funny. Does saying your name backwards make you disappear?" He laughed at the absurdity of the sound of her name backwards and was impressed that he managed to pronounce it without slurring after the amount of sake he had absorbed.

Atonomatsuri harrumphed loudly. "Drunk and even more stupid than normal. Thirst is the end of drinking and sorrow is the end of drunkenness. You will taste sorrow as a result of this night. Why did you think saying my name backward would help? Do you think this is a fairy tale?"

"If this was a fairy tale you'd be useful instead of a pain in the ar…neck. If this was a fairy tale I'd reach bankai as soon as I tried, the traitors would be brought to justice and everyone would live happily ever after getting paired off, or some other vomit generating mush. Hey, we might even like each other." Zaraki shuddered slightly at the thought of becoming friends with the bird that had brought him more confusion and torment than he thought possible. It might happen, the day that Piecrust stopped acting like a jerk and Kurotsuchi behaved like he had a conscience; in other words, never. "You're a plague ridden pest and I'm still awake; therefore this is not a fairy tale. It's more of a tragedy that we ended up with each other. Get lost, bird. I don't want to talk to you anymore. Become invisible and silent." Refusing to open his eyes, he sighed and moved slightly. He was tired and in sleep he would find escape from the reality which was becoming too unpleasantly like a constant interaction with the winged harpy. "Vanish Atonomatsuri."

"I'll leave then. I know when I'm not wanted," she commenced.

"No you don't, dammit, otherwise you would have gone before now." He placed the bottle on the floor and turned his back to her, determined not to talk to her again that night. He shut his eyes and ears, drifting into a drunken slumber as speedily as he could.

The silence in the room when he woke assaulted his ears and the sunlight dazzled his eyes. His head ached, which he expected. He remembered the conversation; he knew who he had been and what he was now. At least he hadn't dreamt about the dratted Hollow. He turned over on the bed slowly and felt a rush of relief. Atonomatsuri was not to be seen.

That Hollow. It was no coincidence that the voice and the Hollow were familiar to him, he'd been dreaming about himself. He had been the inarticulate, annoying being that had provided the clue to his identity. It was no wonder he had not been able to defeat it, or that it could anticipate his moves and that it only appeared on his left side.

Rising he prepared for the day, quickly having a dose of the hangover cure, distracted by the pulsing in his brain until it began to take effect. Stripping quickly he washed and donned fresh clothes. Doing his hair was more annoying as he hadn't removed the bells before sleeping. When he finally managed to remove them and undo the worst of the tangles, he began to arrange it for the day. Putting the bells in was more exasperating than normal and when he looked in the mirror he cursed loudly when he saw the reason. Removing his eye patch, he found it much easier to complete the task. He had slept fully dressed, not going through his normal routine. He blamed the feathered female for that mistake. When he had a hangover he often made minor errors which slowed him down. Doing stupid things irked him, but at least no one was there to see him make a fool of himself. Yawning loudly he rubbed his eyes, wishing he'd had more hours of sleep and fewer things to think about and then replaced his eye patch.

Every time he thought about the Hollow disclosure he immediately thought of something else. It wasn't something he wanted to contemplate, nor was there anyone except the old man with whom he could discuss it, aside from the blasted bird. He felt a strange lack of enthusiasm at the idea of talking to Yamamoto. The resentment which he'd believed was fully directed at Atonomatsuri was now also aimed at the Captain-General. Being a Hollow had been easy, being an insane soul was something he didn't want to experience again, but hadn't required much thought or conscience. Being Kenpachi Zaraki had been acceptable, until now.

This new knowledge changed his truth and the basis of his beliefs. All he had felt to be the foundation of his life had been neatly stripped from beneath him, leaving a feeling that his grasp on his identity was extremely flimsy. From being told he was a Hollow, he now felt a new hollowness inside him, a gaping hole in his reality that had previously been sound. He was no longer the person he knew. All the recent events had changed him, but none had shaken his viewpoint as profoundly as the information about his previous incarnation. How could he reconcile the man he thought he was with the facts? He despised philosophy, psychology and all the other crappy 'ologies' that people embraced, and now found that he was caught in a philosophical and psychological dilemma. Thirstily he drank some water to quench his increasing thirst, momentarily absorbed by the mundane task.

As soon as he could, he left his quarters, eager for some company and to hear voices not in his head. Piecrust was returning to 11th Division today, and he wanted to set the chain of events in motion that would discredit the Clown Captain. Severely he banished all other thoughts from his mind.

Without thinking about it any further he began to walk toward 2nd Division, stopping briefly by his office to retrieve two boxes. He needed Soi Fon to agree to his request, without a tedious explanation of the whole set up to her. Presenting her with the boxes would be the discharge of his promise and possibly sway her to comply with the proposal. The fewer people who knew, the less chance there was of discovery. It was still early and he strolled through the streets, wanting to use the time to reflect on everything with two vital exceptions. As soon as his thoughts drifted in that direction he tried to think of something to make his thoughts flow in a different direction. It was difficult because his mind would travel the accustomed paths which often led back to the matter which he refused to consider. Bankai, the new form of his zanpaku-to, the change in direction in his Division were all too close to the unwanted considerations. Even remembering the planning session last night made his mind skid over the dangerous paths.

"Damn you, bird. Damn your babbling beak and lying tongue,' he muttered under his breath. Every time he talked to her he ended up having to again come to terms with the difficult facts she decided to impart. The simple solution would be to refuse to summon or talk to her again and surrender to the reality that he would never reach bankai, never become stronger; he would remain static.

On this happy thought he found himself outside the open door of 2nd Division headquarters. Knocking briefly he entered the room without waiting for an invitation. Why wait?

Soi was sitting at the desk, her eyes fixed on something she was holding just under the lip of the table. Hearing his tread, she looked up, flushed and rose to her feet, her eyes firmly fixed on the boxes he was carrying.

"Is that, are they…Did you bring me the doll?" Her voice wavered as she tried to maintain her composure, while her excitement at the possibility was difficult to ignore.

"Yeah," Zaraki handed her the boxes, curious as to what she would do. Would she open the boxes to make certain that the dolls were the ones he had promised, or would she wait until she was alone and unobserved.

Her hands clenched at the boxes and she nearly opened one, but placed them carefully on the desk. She looked squarely at Zaraki. "I never thought I would I would say this to another Captain, but thank you. You have proved your nobility to me by honouring your promise and I am grateful. Please, sit down and have a cup of tea."

Impressed at her composure and control, Zaraki sat and accepted the cup she poured. He needed to mention his request and decided to be blunt. "Captain Fon, I need you to do something for me."

Her body which had relaxed when he handed her the dolls became very tense and he saw a look of disappointment cross her features. "What is it Captain?"

Feeling uncomfortable he asked, "How do you feel about Captain Kurotsuchi?"

The startled expression on her face almost made Zaraki laugh. He had never seen her look so amazed until now. "Captain Kurotsuchi? I have little to do with him. Our paths rarely cross as he is usually too caught up in his research. On occasions we consult."

"That's not what I'm asking." Zaraki didn't know how to make it clearer. "Are you friendly with him?"

"No!" The exclamation took both Soi and Zaraki by surprise. It was a very loud denial of her friendship with the Captain and Soi flushed with embarrassment.

Zaraki decided to remain silent. If she was going to explain she would do so in her own time. He glanced out the window, wondering how long this would take.

"I do not like the man for many reasons. When Yoruichi left I felt lonely and vulnerable and he visited me on many occasions, offering consolation. I did not accept. I would prefer to be consoled by a taipan or a funnel web spider than accept any comfort from that male. I pity his daughter."

Zaraki breathed a sigh of relief. This might be a little easier than he thought. "One day soon, I would like you to take the Captain-General to Captain Kurotsuchi's office early in the morning. You don't have to. I won't take back the stupid dolls. And I don't want to explain."

"Oh, so you've heard that he's trying to get you expelled from the Seireitei? It does not surprise me that he is doing this. His jealousy regarding you has always been highly noticeable and recently it has been worse. I am not privy to his reasons for competing with you, but I would be wary of any interactions with the man," Soi spoke quietly but seriously.

"It's not that. Look, Captain, if I explain it will make it more difficult for you," Zaraki hid his shock at her statement. He hadn't known that the Clown Captain was competing with him, or that he was jealous. Emotions were so confusing and he had trouble coping with his own, let alone thinking about other people and how they might feel.

"I'll do it if I'm invited to one of your regular nightly sessions. Everyone knows you're meeting with three members of your division and Captain Unohana on a regular basis. There had been considerable speculation on what you do," Soi smiled shyly at Zaraki.

Thunderstruck that this had been observed Zaraki sat with his mouth open, wondering what to say. He didn't care if Soi wanted to come, but it might upset the others. His subordinates had not appeared to mind when Retsu joined them or uttered a word of complaint when Hanatoro was there last time. "What are people saying?" he asked putting off the decision.

"That you're plotting to overthrow the Captain-General; that Captain Unohana is observing you closely for signs of the onset of insanity, you're having wild orgies, you all indulge in drinking contests, there are a number of suggestions. If it is wild orgies, I will retract my request." Soi looked very solemn as she uttered the last sentence.

Zaraki threw back his head and laughed loudly. It never ceased to amuse him how many Shinigami were obsessed with sex. "With Yachiru there? Do they think I'm some sort of thrice damned freak? We talk, drink, eat, and tell bad jokes. It's nothing. Sure, you can come, but maybe after this other thing happens if you're still interested."

Soi nodded thoughtfully. "I comprehend what you are trying to say. Very well, Captain. I agree to your request."

Zaraki got to his feet, eager to attend to the other business in hand. "Good. I'll let you know when it's happening. I know you're busy and itching to open the boxes. Do you want me to shut the door on my way out?"

Soi nodded, her hands already reaching for the boxes as he walked toward the door. The look of eager anticipation on her face made Zaraki feel a pang within his chest. When was the last time he'd felt that sort of eagerness for anything other than fighting? Mentally shrugging he pushed the thought away while also ignoring the understanding that he was ignoring a number of thoughts recently. Thinking was making him uncomfortable. No wonder he'd given it up for so long.

Frowning slightly he began to walk back to his Division. Piecrust was returning today, his office was being redecorated and there was still further work on the scheme. It had to be executed in the next two days, otherwise he was sure rumours would spread and all the planning would be of no use.

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_Author's Note:_

Taipan: One of the deadliest snakes in the world. Found in Australia.

Funnel Web Spider: One of the deadliest spiders in the world also found in Australia.

I knew I needed a zanpaku-to. Kevlar doesn't cut it, or rather it was cut and the bayonet broke. Damn WW I surplus.

Yeah, I know. I explained again why Atonomatsuri has an additional form but there was more information that was revealed this time.

The next chapter has to be lighter or I'll go back to playing Zelda or maybe travelling.

As you can see this chapter did not go as planned and it's shorter than normal. I am posting this just before I leave the wonderful Land of Oz, and I won't return until late January 2008. I am taking my laptop, but as I am touring I don't know if I'll have much time for writing. XD

Have a great festive season. Thanks to the people who've reviewed. Please review.

MS


	26. Delicate Little Flower

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Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk).

**Delicate Little Flower**

As he strode back to his Division, trying to block out his random thoughts and any comments from Atonomatsuri, Yachiru caught up with him, slightly over excited and she began to speak rapidly. "Ken-chan, Piecrust is back and he's being difficult. Pretty Boy is unhappy because he thinks Piecrust is too pretty and he has always been the nice-looking one in the 11th. I didn't know it was important. Should I tell him that he's prettier than Piecrust? He is, really, except when he frowns and he's been frowning this morning. If he frowns any more he'll get worried about wrinkles and I hate it when he gets worried about them. He refuses to smile and doesn't laugh at my jokes and keeps rubbing his forehead to try to remove the invisible frown lines. I think he's also annoyed because the jerk is acting like a pain and won't listen to him. Could you come, please, Ken-chan?" She grabbed him by the hand and tugged him along the street.

"Piecrust is back? That will make life more interesting," Zaraki commented as he allowed Yachiru to lead him where she wanted to go.

There were many people present in the 11th Division when he entered the compound, all heading in one direction. He heard the sound of laughter and mocking voices calling out insults. Yachiru tugged his hand harder and he found he was following the noise, curious as to what was attracting the attention of his people and causing Yachiru and Ayasegawa such concern. As he arrived at the building, allocated to Piecrust as his quarters, he immediately understood the source of interest. Noticing his appearance, his Division members became quieter, deferring to his presence, but a small hubbub remained as they joked amongst themselves. They parted to allow him to move closer to the doorway.

"I demand to be taken back to 4th Division. I'm still unwell and I shouldn't be here. I'll complain to the Captain," Piecrusts querulous voice shrieked. Zaraki suppressed a smile at the foolishness of the assertion. A small wave of laughter swept through the street outside.

"I'll get him for you. I'm sure he'll be interested in your complaints," Ayasegawa said, the flavour of anger evident in his voice.

"See, Ken-Chan?" Yachiru hissed at him quietly, her eyes bright. "Pretty Boy sounds angry. You know how he doesn't lose his temper very often. Piecrust is annoying him. I don't think it's fair."

Zaraki nodded his head, subduing that same smile as he listened to the voices coming from the building.

"Good, you do that. I'm sure he'll send me back to 4th Division immediately when he sees the condition of my wounds. I should be treated the way my injuries deserve," the complacency in Piecrust's tone amused Zaraki even more. The jerk seemed to have no concept of his position within 11th Division. He felt the need to be amused after the conversation with Atonomatsuri on the previous night and wanted to allow the farce to continue as long as possible.

Noticing Madarame on the outskirts of the quietly mocking crowd, he approached and pounded him on the shoulder of his wounded arm, making the startled man jump and swear profanely, clutching his arm tightly as he turned threateningly toward Zaraki. When he saw who had attracted his attention, he faltered and smiled at his Captain and Assistant Captain.

"I see our Hollow bait has returned. He sounds like he's fine. Why aren't you settling the idiot in?" Zaraki said as quietly as he could, keeping his voice to a low roar.

Madarame gave a small grimace and rubbed his arm gently before he replied. "I had a bet with Yumichika and he lost, so he has to settle the moron in. I was going to look for you, but our Assistant Captain offered to find you. For some reason Piecrust thinks you'll be on his side. Is the guy delusional or something?" Madarame used a particular tone whenever he mentioned Piecrust, almost as if he was mentioning some unfortunate and unpleasant body function. It seemed appropriate.

Looking at his third seat, he noticed that the injuries from their fight were very plain and evidently painful. "You're coming in with me. I want this guy to see how a true 11th Division member copes with a few cuts," he watched as Madarame thought about his suggestion and nodded.

"Yeah, a few cuts, sure,' the irony was unmistakable. "Just don't make me fight with him today. The mood I'm in I'd probably mince him, even if I'm only using one arm. I'm not looking forward to that thing you mentioned last night." Madarame gulped slightly as he remembered the agreement.

"It won't happen today. I'll let you have today to recover. If you don't like the punishment then don't mention birds or those other things. You got off lightly. If Retsu hadn't stepped in, I might have pulverized you, but then you wouldn't have managed to finish the bets. How's Abarai going with his?" For the moment Zaraki did not want to deal with the jerk inside and he was interested in the bets that had led to the damage to Madarame.

"He's still trying to do the first one. If he doesn't make it by midday today, I win by default." A small smile indicated Madarame's belief that he might win the bet with no trouble.

"Yeah, but Abarai hates to lose bets, you know that. You're dreaming if you think he'll give up that readily."

Madarame nodded slowly at Zaraki's observation but replied, "He won't win this set of bets. He agreed to some dumb suggestions because he was overconfident. It's because he reached bankai so recently he thinks he can do it, though it will be an age before he realises his greatest ambition."

Zaraki and his 3rd seat regarded each other for a moment and the Captain noticed a playful twinkle in Madarame's eye. "Does Abarai want to lose the bet?" he thought. "Is that why Madarame is looking so confident? I wonder what forfeit the loser has to pay. I won't ask now because I know he won't tell me. Let's see how this plays out, and then I'll get the details."

"Okay, let's help Ayasegawa before he creases his forehead even further," Zaraki said as he led the way to the door. "I don't think he wants to pay for yet another bottle of wrinkle cream or he'll probably try to get me to pay because of Piecrust. I wish the old man hadn't barred me from getting rid of the idiot."

"I'm coming too, Ken-chan. I'm still taking an interest in all members of the Division and Piecrust is a member, well, sort of. Maybe he will be a temporary member if we use him as Hollow bait. It's a pity I won't get to visit him at 4th Division anymore because then I won't see Retsu so often and eat the sweets she's keeping in her office. I like eating sweets and talking to her. She gets interrupted a lot but she only smiles and tries to help. I wouldn't like to cross her, though, 'cause she could be pretty scary. Maybe I'll just visit her. Anyway, it'll be funny to see how Piecrust acts when he sees you," Yachiru smiled widely at her Captain, anticipating some entertainment.

Nodding at her last comment and pushing through the crowd, Zaraki saw Ayasegawa emerging from the room, a tiny frown wrinkling his forehead. "He must be upset if he's still frowning and Yachiru said he was frowning when she left. He only allows a frown once per week and this is the second one I've seen in the last two days." As soon as Ayasegawa saw the large form of his Captain loom into his vision the frown disappeared and a wicked smirk appeared on his face.

"Captain! Yuki Hisutanga has returned from 4th Division and is expressing his belief that he is not well enough to remain here," as he spoke the jerk's name, a small moue of distaste crossed him face. His eyes showed the anger that he was trying to contain and Zaraki wondered what other ill thought comments the fool had uttered.

"Let me see this delicate little flower," Zaraki bawled loudly, gaining shouts of laughter from the men lingering outside. The term was repeated between them and it was pretty clear that Piecrust had now been given another nickname. He hoped that Yachiru wouldn't be offended, but the guy was an obvious target for degrading nicknames.

"Flower? Oooh, Ken-chan you gave him another nickname. I still prefer Piecrust, but I like Flower too," she giggled with delight. "A delicate little flower. Is he a tulip? Or a violet? I don't think he's a violet. I know, a narcissus, that's the flower he is."

Zaraki laughed at her observation while Madarame and Ayasegawa chuckled slightly, but their faces were grim. Entering the room, Zaraki saw Piecrust lying on the bed trying to look as if he was suffering agony, but the act was not convincing. His eyes might be closed, but a sliver of white could be seen showing under the eyelid, as he watched for the reaction of his Captain.

Zaraki looked at him for a few seconds and turned to Madarame. "Either 4th Division did good work, or Yachiru didn't cut him enough."

"I did cut him a lot Ken-chan. Tell him, Baldy, Pretty Boy," Yachiru was offended by the suggestion and Madarame immediately rallied to support her.

"She cut him enough, I was there and I know how much damage she did. 4th Division do good work and you know that. Look at how quickly they got me on my feet after fighting you. You recovered quickly when we found you unconscious and drugged and they took care of you. I didn't notice any bones or tendons showing after Yachiru stopped chasing Piecrust around. Let's make him train," Madarame's smile did not bode well for the recently injured 11th Division member.

"Yeah, you were much more cut up Baldy. I was worried about you." Madarame looked surprised at the confession. "Maybe I should have tried harder with Piecrust, but he is such a wimp. Don't worry, next time will be different," Yachiru nodded her head emphatically.

Zaraki observed the reaction of the man in the bed. His eyes shot open and his mouth gaped wide, the shock evident in his face. "Wh, wha, what? Me, train today? I should be back in 4th Division. I'm not well; I'm still recovering from that vicious attack from the Assistant Captain. She had no call to chase me like she did. Don't let her chase me again. It hurts where she cut me. You shouldn't let her behave like that." The whine in his voice grated on Zaraki's nerves and Piecrust shot a scared look at Yachiru, obviously expecting some form of physical threat.

"I wouldn't have chased you if you hadn't run. If you'd stood and fought I wouldn't have cut you so much. It's your own fault," Yachiru looked stubborn as she spoke. Zaraki made a mental note not to allow her to train with the jerk today. It could be dangerous… for him.

For the first time he really looked at this troublesome person, mindful of Yachiru's words about his looks and Ayasegawa's possible jealousy. He saw shoulder length black hair, fair skin, grey eyes, regular features, broad forehead, slender and about 1.5 metres tall. "He is almost pretty, like Yachiru said. Maybe that explains some of his arrogance, but it doesn't explain enough. What's he doing in my Division? He's not at pretty as Ayasegawa, but my 5th seat is a real scrapper and a true member of 11th Division, not like this loser. Maybe it's a woman pretending to be a man, but Retsu would have mentioned that to me. He's too pretty for my Division unless he's a seasoned fighter, which he isn't, and that's going to cause trouble. He won't be able to defend himself against any predatory guys and I don't want to set someone to protect him or warn anyone off. That would make it seem like he was given special treatment, or that I even cared. Ah, hell. Why did the old man decide I had to keep him?"

Yuki seemed uncomfortable at his Captain's observation and pulled the sheet up to his chin. Zaraki was bored with the charade and wanted action.

"I'll say this once: get up, get dressed and be in the training ground in 11 minutes. If Madarame, who got hurt in a fight with me yesterday, can train, so can you. Today you'll be training with me. You need the exercise." He smiled harshly as he noticed Piecrust's eyes widen and his head make a small, negative shake at his news. "Yep, we'll have a nice little spar, but don't worry, I won't treat you the way I treated Madarame. As you believe you have superior fighting abilities, I won't hold back." He saw Piecrust turn even paler, if that was possible. "Oh, before I go, if you get injured from now on you'll be treated here. 4th Division don't want you there and I can't say I blame them. It was only luck that they didn't poison you. Hanatoro will be visiting here once per day to check and if you give him any trouble, you'll be doing all the 4th Division cleaning work for the 11th and that includes sanitary duty. Do you understand? You will learn to treat other Shinigami with respect, no matter their size, gender or level. I will treat you with no respect until you earn it and up 'til now the only respect I feel in relation to you is for the people who've had to put up with your stupidity. 11 minutes, Flower, or my zanpaku-to will be providing the necessary encouragement to dress." Zaraki turned, preparing to leave the room.

"Flower? Who is Flower?" Piecrust stammered.

"That's your new nickname. If you act like a delicate flower, you have to expect some comment. But remember you are still made to be broken. Maybe I'll break you today, or tomorrow, Piecrust," Zaraki did not bother to turn around, not wishing to pay more attention to the fool. He left, the feeble protests of the man ringing in his ears, and ordered his men to the training ground. "Be there in 11 minutes, ready to spar. I'll be watching all of you and taking personal interest in your improvement. Any one not trying will fight with me. I need to work out the kinks and I feel in the need for a good brawl. I only just started getting warmed up yesterday and I would like to see how you fare against me. Yachiru, you'll be helping me. Ayasegawa, you'll be deputising for Madarame. Madarame, you'll be observing and correcting. Try not to kill anyone through too much enthusiasm."

He watched his Division scatter as they scrambled to get to the training ground within the specified time. Grinning he looked at Ayasegawa, Yachiru and Madarame. "It should be entertaining today. I sent a message to Captain Unohana to ask that Hanatoro observe, just in case. Not that I'm planning to hurt Flower, but he might have an accident. We've all seen how clumsy he can be, especially when he's fighting. He might trip over his sandals, or his zanpaku-to, or my foot, which would be tragic. Come on, let's move."

"An interesting use of the word, tragic, Captain," Ayasegawa said as they began to walk toward the training ground.

"I'll tell you what is tragic, Madarame complained. "Because of the jerk I've got to train and then do the paperwork. I hope the stiches hold." He winced slightly but did not say anything further.

"Baldy, you're sounding like Piecrust complaining about little things. Should I start calling you Flower also? I don't know any bald flowers. How can a flower be bald unless you pull out all the petals? Perhaps I could call you Petal," Yachiru mused, her eyes on the sky as she walked. "I'm not sure."

"Excuse me, Assistant Captain. If you call me either Flower or Petal I will circulate a message to all of Gotei 13 and Soul Society that you are no longer permitted sweets. I'm sure I can persuade our Captain of the importance of this, especially when I give him the most recent report from your dent…" Madarame seemed very certain that he would not be brooked when Yachiru interrupted him quickly.

"We don't need to talk about that, and you promised you wouldn't. I'm hurt that you want to break your promise over a little thing like a nickname," Yachiru's voice quivered and her bottom lip pouted as her large eyes gazed at the third seat.

Zaraki had listened intently to the interplay. He already knew about the dentists report as he'd received a letter to that effect which had not been intercepted. As yet he had not told Yachiru that an appointment had been scheduled to fill the holes in her teeth. She could find out later, preferably just as they reached the dentists office when it was too late for her to hide. "You can't call him Flower. It would confuse everyone in the Division and some of them are still having trouble working out which end of their zanpaku-to they need to talk to. They're not convinced you can talk to it if you lay it across your knees. We're lucky we haven't had any injuries, yet. We'll have to be more selective about how we choose our new recruits in future. Brawn is good, but a few brain cells might come in useful. We need every advantage that we can get. Now, stop arguing. We need to be united at all times, firm in our purpose and unwavering in our goal."

A stunned silence met his words and he stopped walking and turned to his companions who were standing, staring at him.

"What the f… hell are you quoting from, Captain? Have you been reading _The Art of War_ again?" Ayasegawa's voice was timid and he looked at his feet as he asked the question. It was obvious he was reluctant to ask, remembering the reaction Madarame had received the night before.

"Kenny, it does sound like your quoting something. I have an adage you might like: A wise man creates proverbs, a fool repeats them." Atonomatsuri's voice gurgled with laughter in his mind.

The unpleasant shock he received at hearing her voice made the nausea from the hangover return and he swallowed hard. Her voice was a reminder of all the unwelcome information he had yet to digest but did not want to know. The distraction of Captain Soi Fon and Piecrust had been a welcome break from his churning thoughts. As he reflected about what Atonomatsuri said, he realised that this was the perfect adage that could be used to mock her fondness for quoting the awful things. "Then what does that make you, vulture? I have yet to hear you create an adage; so that makes you a fool. Finally, we agree on the truth in one proverb," Zaraki's minds voice was dry as he responded to his zanpakuto.

A loud, indignant squawk was Atonomatsuri's response. "A fool? You call me a fool? Even the wisest men make fools of themselves about women and even the most foolish woman is wise about men. I am no fool; no man's fool, no man's friend."

Zaraki stood still and scratched his head, trying to make sense of the bird's comments and to work out an answer for Ayasegawa. "Just remembered hearing it somewhere. What's the problem? It's not one of those things; it's sensible advice." The justification sounded a little thin, but he would not admit to anything.

Internally he said to Atonomatsuri, "You're certainly not my friend. I think you need a new hobby. These stupid proverbs are now applying to you as much to me and I think you are running out of flap. Ha. A bird running out of flap! Maybe you need to lose some weight, featherbrain, because you certainly weigh more than a feather. That may explain why you have trouble flying because you're too heavy. Now shut up. I thought I made it clear last night that I didn't want to talk to you and I haven't changed my mind."

"You don't know your own mind, Kenny boy. I've told you that before," Atonomatsuri said tartly.

"I said shut up," even to his own mind it sounded like he was speaking through gritted teeth. "Shut your freaking beak or I'll saw out your twisted tongue and jam it down your stinking throat."

The only response was silence. He approved of the silence, thinking that at last the bird might remain silent, for a time. It was too much to hope that she would keep silent permanently.

After waiting the 11 minutes, he was satisfied to see his Division had made it to the training ground, even Piecrust who came tottering in last, his hand pressed to his forehead as he tried to look weak and pitiful. He was followed shortly by Hanatoro who smiled at Zaraki and went to sit quietly at one end of the training ground. Most of the Division ignored him, the normal disregard for 4th Division removing any curiosity as to why Hanatoro was there.

After the usual disorganisation as people found their sparring partner, Zaraki retrieved two wooden blades. He did not want to use his zanpaku-to for a few reasons. The distaste he felt in handling Atonomatsuri was one of the reasons, but the other reason had to do with trying to train Piecrust. Using a wooden blade would mean he wouldn't inflict more than bruises; at least that was his hope. He'd killed a man using a wooden sword in his past; driving is easily between his ribs. Now he could remember the death, the rage he'd experienced, but not the reason for the fight.

The other Shinigami were sparring, with Madarame correcting any major mistakes and Ayasegawa leading the training. Yachiru was paired against a Shinigami, who was twice her size who was gazing at her with a mixture of respect and fear. He watched her moves closely and as she wasn't really trying, had no trouble blocking her attacks. Zaraki wondered how long it would be before Yachiru decided to exert herself.

Piecrust reluctantly took the proffered wooden blade and let in dangle uselessly between his fingers. His uniform and face were damp with sweat and Zaraki guessed it was the product of fear rather than from his non-existent exertion.

"Are you ready?" he barked harshly.

"No," was the shaky reply. Piecrust tried to hold the blade steady but his hands were shaking badly.

"Why the hell do you want to be a Shinigami if you're scared of fighting?" The question seemed obvious.

"I'm not scared of fighting. I'm scared of you," Piecrust stuttered. The admission was made reluctantly.

"Only scared? I thought terrified would be a better description," Zaraki threw down the wooden blade. "Drop the piece of wood. Let's see if you can fight without a sword. Maybe if you learn the basics you might have a chance."

"Can I keep the sword and you fight me without one?" The idiot brightened at the idea.

"I'll make a deal with you. You can keep the blade until I take it from you. Fair?" Zaraki decided to toy with the guy a little. Piecrust did like unfair advantages but he never seemed to realise that the advantage was always on the other side.

His opponent nodded enthusiastically and began to circle Zaraki who didn't bother to try and keep his eyes on the man. Each time he had seen him fight, his moves had been predictable. Without a doubt he would attack from behind or the left, trying to use an element of surprise. Bored already, Zaraki kicked backwards, but without full force, feeling his foot connect with the leg of the man creeping up behind him.

"Unfair, Captain," Piecrust gasped.

Zaraki turned to face him and saw he was holding his leg. "Unfair? You were preparing to attack me from the rear with a weapon and I kicked you. You should have expected something like that. Was I supposed to just stand here?"

"Yes, no. I don't know," Piecrust picked up the wooden sword from where it had fallen. Slyly he attacked while still bending, driving the sword toward Zaraki's face. Catching it with his hand Zaraki exerted some pressure and the blade shattered in his grasp. Piecrust jerked the rest of the sword back, looking disbelievingly at the absence of the blade.

"Drop it. It's no use to you any more," Zaraki commanded. He knew that his display of strength had scared his subordinate, but that was his intention. "Show me how you fight without weapons."

"I don't know how," was the sulky confession.

"What? How could you graduate from the Academy without knowing how to fight without weapons? That's not possible. You would have been kicked out before the end of the first year," Zaraki could not keep the amazement out of his voice. Piecrust had to be lying.

"I don't want to know how," admitted the shamefaced jerk. "I don't like fighting without weapons. It had no dignity and don't want to have to touch anyone."

"It's not about touching, it's about fighting," Zaraki raised his voice and addressed the sparring partners. "Right. Put away your zanpaku-to's. It looks like we might have to go back to basics for some of you. Same partners as before, fight without weapons. I don't care if you use karate, judo, tae kwon do, or any other form of martial art you know. Ayasegawa, Yachiru, Madarame, check out the skills. Pick out who can't fight and we'll implement special training for them. You, however, Flower will fight with me. I'll confine myself to wrestling moves, nothing fancy."

_Author's Note:_

I'm back. It's nice to be back in Australia (the Land of Oz). Apologies to those people who thought I was holidaying in Australia, but I live here. My holiday took me to Egypt, Jordan and Israel.

(Warning: Boring explanation ahead). Why did Yachuri say if Piecrust was a flower he would be a narcissus? If you know your Greek Mythology (and don't we all?) you will remember that Narcissus was a young man who fell in love with his reflection and the gods turned him into a flower: the narcissus. Okay, maybe Yachiru might not know that, but for this story she does. The other flowers suggested have other meanings, but I don't feel like explaining them at the moment.

Thank you to the kind people who have reviewed this story.

I'm not even attempting to predict what will happen in the next chapter but I think Zaraki and Piecrust might fight. How will Piecrust fare at fighting without a weapon? And there are other matters to be explored: Zaraki's ability to accept he was once a Hollow; why Yamamoto demanded Zaraki keep Piecrust; office decoration; the prank to play on the Clown Captain; the bets; bankai; Atonomatsuri and more secrets to be revealed.

Please review.

MS


	27. Captain Frosty and the Crimson Kamikaze

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust aka Flower (the jerk)._

**Captain Frosty and the Crimson Kamikaze**

Piecrust nodded in agreement. For a second Zaraki was positive his eyes were not working properly. "Did you agree?" the incredulity in his voice was pronounced. The guy couldn't mean it. He'd resisted every other challenge.

"Yes, Captain Zaraki. You will limit yourself to wrestling moves and I can use any form of martial art," Piecrust answered steadily while looking serious. "This is not my choice. I am not responsible."

Zaraki stood there, wondering if Piecrust had become possessed. He was acting unlike the cringing wimp that had been lying in the bed explaining how damaged he was. "Ah, hell," he thought, "doesn't matter." He stepped closer and said, "You can try first. Maybe try and throw me."

Instead of rushing forward and attacking, Piecrust gave Zaraki a measuring glance. Then moving faster than Zaraki expected he dodged and tried to grasp his Captain by the shoulder. If he had been trying this move on someone less skilled, it might have worked, but Zaraki moved swiftly and watched the other recover quickly.

"Good move," Zaraki said. "Was it a fluke?" He'd never shown that sort of speed before when he was holding a weapon. When he commenced the move, he'd expected Piecrust to trip over his own feet and land as a crumpled heap on the floor, but that move implied a level of competence in fighting.

Not answering, Piecrust tried a hip sweep. This time Zaraki moved faster and again remained untouched.

"Try something else," urged Madarame who had come closer to watch. He was looking at Piecrust with less dislike than normal. Piecrust did not respond, watching Zaraki, studying him almost like a person who knew how to fight.

"Yeah, try something else," another Shinigami urged. There seemed to be more observers than people training.

Zaraki shrugged. This could be part of the training. This time he moved and picked up Piecrust, who did not try to resist, ready to throw him, but as he did so the man twisted slightly so he did not come down with the same force he would have if he had remained in the position he was thrown. He got to his feet, automatically brushing at the dirt, his eyes again focused on Zaraki.

The two opponents circled each other. Zaraki did not try to prevent the smile that was forming on his face. Maybe the jerk had some skill after all. This might be the reason the old man wanted him in 11th Division, but there might be more. He had time, he'd find out the 'why' eventually.

Piecrust shuffled his feet slightly. This did not fool Zaraki who'd used that move: move your feet to draw the combatant's attention, and then punch hard and fast. The punch had to be impeccably timed, and Piecrust's was well timed, but just a little slower than it should have been. Zaraki captured the hand in his fist, not applying any pressure, just holding it. "You need to work on your timing with that. Try it again, and maybe do something different than shuffling. Move the weight from one leg to another, like you are going to kick me or quickly jump from one foot to the other. That's a better bluff, but don't use it too often." He dropped the hand and stepped back.

Piecrust nodded and tried again, shifting the weight deliberately and then thrusting his fist forward. Zaraki did not bother to block it this time and just moved out of the path.

"Better. Here, you, the one with the big ears. What's your name, yeah, I remember, Sho, come and fight with Piecrust. You've always boasted you were good at fighting without weapons and you weren't bad the one time I fought you. Let's see which of you is better." Fighting someone did teach you about their moves, but Zaraki wanted to watch how the guy fared against someone else. Sho did have talent, he wasn't the best, but he might have improved since the last time Zaraki watched him fight.

Indignation was present in Sho's face at the insult to his ears, but having been in the Division long enough, he did not dare complain. He'd work off the anger soon enough, through exercise. Obediently he faced off against Piecrust and Zaraki watched, not commenting, not advising; only noting the areas of weakness and strength in each opponent. Piecrust had some skill and ability and it could be developed, in time. If he was so well coordinated fighting weapon less, why was he hopeless as soon as he had a zanpaku-to in his hands? Why had his attitude changed so quickly, making it appear as if there were two people inhabiting his body? Was the guy bipolar? Schizophrenic? The abilities he was now demonstrating made it obvious why he graduated from the Academy. Zaraki guessed it had been a near thing seeing he was crap at kido and a liability with a weapon. The question was why hadn't his weapon skills been improved? What was his reiatsu like? He couldn't tell. It was becoming obvious that he was going to have to talk to the Yamamoto about the jerk, try to find out some information,

But he didn't want to draw the old man's attention immediately before or after he visited his justice on the Clown Captain. It would have to wait. Internally he groaned. He hated waiting for anything and lately he always seemed to be waiting, especially for answers from Atonomatsuri. It was so freaking frustrating!

Suddenly everyone became motionless, feeling an extremely strong flare of reiatsu. Then another. Without a word, Yachiru jumped on Zaraki's back and the Division grabbed their weapons, running in the direction of the surge of energy. Maybe it was an Arrancar attack, but reasoned Zaraki, that was unlikely. Something was happening and he wanted to see whatever it was. As he pelted along the street, following the others, he noticed other Divisions were flooding toward the power spill. At least this time he didn't have to rely on Yachiru's directions, he could follow everyone else.

"What's happening Ken-chan? I haven't felt this level of power since Ichi and the others were here," Yachiru's head popped over his shoulder as she asked the question.

"I don't know, kid. I think someone is fighting. I'll get into it if I get the chance," Zaraki replied, noting that they were getting very close to 6th Division.

That gave him an idea. He stopped suddenly, waiting for Madarame and Ayasegawa to catch up. His third seat was lagging behind, pale and sweating, obviously having difficulty keeping up the pace set by his Captain due to his injuries and Ayasegawa was walking with him. "I think Abarai won't lose the bet that easily," he said as soon as Madarame stopped.

Leaning against the wall while wiping the sweat from his forehead, Madarame grinned weakly. "Yeah, he won't. So you worked it out, did you Captain?"

"Worked out what, Ken-chan?" Yachiru asked inquisitively.

"Abarai and Madarame have a string of bets again. You'd think they'd have learnt from their mistakes last time. I worked out what Abarai has to do," he raised his right eyebrow. "Maybe you should stop drinking with him. This could end badly."

"Ikkaku learning common sense and not making stupid bets? I would like to see that," Ayasegawa fluted while he smiled at his friend. "But that might make life a little duller."

"Bets?" Yachiru giggled. "How did you work it out and will you tell me?" Her pleasure in the news didn't surprise Zaraki. She had found the last set of bets highly amusing and had really enjoyed helping administer the punishment.

"It was easy and I won't tell you, I'll show you. Come on Madarame, get moving, we don't want to miss this, or do you want to grab onto my back and I'll carry you?" Zaraki guessed the response before it was given. "Ayasegawa, the offer is not to you, so don't bother refusing." He interjected as his 5th seat opened his mouth.

"Uh, no thanks, Captain. That would hurt more than running," Madarame said, as they began to walk speedily toward the 6th Division training ground. "I wonder how Renji managed to convince his Captain to fight him. Captain Kuchiki rarely goes to the trouble of fighting anyone and that's why I thought he'd lose the first part of the bet. Even when Renji issued a direct challenge, his Captain told him not to be ridiculous and he expected him to finish his paperwork before he ate. Nice guy, Captain Kuchiki. Real warm."

"Yeah, if you call a frozen lake warm. I know you were being sarcastic, Madarame, but thought I'd add my own opinion. Good, they're still fighting." They had arrived and the area was crowded with people, intent on seeing the battle. It was a good thing that the training ground was so large; otherwise he wasn't sure if everyone would fit in. As he was taller than most he had a good view. Madarame and Ayasegawa wriggled through the crowd to get a better view and Yachiru climbed onto his shoulder to watch.

In front of them Rukia was teetering on her toes, trying to see. "Hey, Rukia. Sit on Ken-chan's shoulder and you will be able to see Captain Frosty fight the Crimson Kamikaze. I mean your brother fight Renji," Yachiru corrected herself as Rukia's eyes met hers. "You don't mind, do you Ken-chan?"

"No," Zaraki said gruffly. He wasn't happy about being used as a seat by any passing Shinigami, but Rukia deserved some reward for being indirectly responsible for the best fight he'd had in some time. He wondered when he'd have another chance to fight Ichigo.

Rukia hesitated for a few moments, looking at Zaraki and then at Yachiru who urged her to take advantage of the offer. Finally she gave a small smile and nodded. "Thanks. I was here when it began and I want to see what happens but everyone crowded in front of me. I would have pushed through but Byakuya is still trying to make me act like a member of a noble house. I don't know why he bothers but I said I'd try today, otherwise you can be sure I'd be at the front," Zaraki had placed her on his shoulder by this time.

His eyes intent on the men fighting, Zaraki asked, "How did it start?"

Rukia laughed loudly and then guiltily covered her mouth. "Renji was cleaning Zabimaru with a white cloth while we were chatting. My brother came out looking for his scarf, you know the one, the Ginpaku Kazanohana Usuginu," Rukia began and then broke off to laugh again.

"So, he was looking for his scarf? Why did they start fighting? Did Kamikaze say he wouldn't help look for it?" Yachiru was leaning in front of Zaraki as she asked the question, partially blocking his view.

"Yachiru get out of my way, I'm trying to watch. Neither of them has released their zanpaku-to's yet. I wonder why?" Zaraki pushed the girl back onto his shoulder and out of his way.

"My brother is trying to teach Renji a lesson. The white cloth that Renji was using to clean his sword was that scarf and you know how much it's worth. Renji took the scarf deliberately and was using it where he knew my brother would see him, but at least he didn't apply sword polish. Byakuya is furious in that cold way of his. He quickly reclaimed his scarf, checking it for holes or tears. When he was satisfied that it was undamaged he put in his pocket and then unsheathed his zanpaku-to and they started fighting. I know I shouldn't laugh, but I think it's funny. Why did Renji do it? Why would he do something like this intentionally?" Rukia was watching the fight with interest as she spoke.

Yachiru quickly told her about the bets and she nodded her head. "I thought it might be something like that. Last night at dinner Byakuya mentioned that Renji had been irritating him all day, on purpose. I wondered about it and I came here to ask Renji why, but didn't get a chance. He only wanted to gossip about some rumours he'd heard. He's such a moron. I know that Ikkaku will probably have thought up some really hard bets." She paused for a few moments as they were mesmerised with a very tricky manoeuvre that almost won the fight for the Captain, but Renji finally released Zabimaru and quickly recovered his ground. "Renji mumbled something about needing the scarf later, and now I'm worried that it's involved in another one of the bets."

Zaraki was enjoying the fight and he itched to get involved but recognised it wouldn't work. The two men were only interested in defeating each other. At least it gave him a chance to assess Kuchiki's strength and what he saw impressed him. His speed and agility were good, his confidence immense and of course his control was impeccable. "I must get into a fight with this guy sometime. Maybe I could get Abarai to borrow the scarf again and I could clean Atonomatsuri with it," he mused.

"Clean me with a scarf made out of windflowers instead of that scummy rag you normally use? That's when you actually bother to clean me. Cleanliness is next to godliness. It's about time you started cleaning me regularly. It ruffles my feathers to be so untidy. I want some sword polish and a new cloth and would it kill you to make my edge smooth instead of jagged? Not my other form, I know you have no control over that yet, but my normal form? But that's too much to hope from you. She that lives on hope will die fasting," the annoying voice broke into his thoughts.

Zaraki sighed, shutting his eyes just for a moment. He had been enjoying himself: watching a fight, finding out how it started, getting an idea of how to pick a fight with Kuchiki, getting agreement from Soi Fon in relation to his payback and finding a talent in his least talented subordinate. He'd managed to put the previous night and the unwelcome news out of his mind during the episode at Piecrust's quarters and now the frigging vulture had to remind him of her existence. Turning his attention back to the fight, he was firm in his determination not to respond to her comments. He began to be absorbed again but it was not to last.

"It's not the size of the man that counts in a fight; it's the size of the fight in the man. Fight fire with fire, Kenny boy. Why are you more interested in this fight than talking to me? Are you going to buy me sword polish?" Obviously Atonomatsuri was not going to allow Zaraki to ignore her if she had anything to say about the matter, and she had plenty to say.

Zaraki pressed his lips firmly together and tried to bar her voice from his mind. If he spoke to her she would want to have a chat and he wasn't interested. The fight drew his attention again as the Captain released his zanpaku-to and the tussle became more intense. "Is he trying as hard as he can, or is he just playing with Abarai, using him to get some exercise? He hasn't broken into a sweat and Abarai is almost soaked with his own lather. I hope Yamamoto doesn't come and break it up."

Rukia and Yachiru were chatting sporadically and he listened to their observations to cover the noise between his ears. Atonomatsuri was issuing harsh insults in an attempt to make him talk to her. At least Yachiru's interpretation of events made him smile.

"I'd like something to eat while I watch this," Rukia said. "I haven't eaten today because I overslept."

"I've got lollies, if you want some," Yachiru offered.

"Don't get any in my hair," Zaraki ordered. "Last time you did I had to take radical measures to get it out. Remember? I told you you're not allowed to eat sweets while on my shoulder."

"Ken-chan, I won't get any lollies in your hair, I promise," was the sincere response and then Yachiru giggled. "You looked funny when you trying to get the sweet out. You were swearing so much and so loudly that people were clustered outside, writing down the words you used. It happened when you were in the human world with Ichi, Rukia, so you won't remember."

"If you even put a wrapper in my hair I'll tell Retsu not to give you any more sweets and I'll give away the secret stash you keep in my office. Yeah, I know it's there and what's in it," Zaraki commanded. It had taken hours of hard and patient work to remove the gummy substance and he did not feel he had the fortitude to do it today.

Yachiru's little face wore an expression of shock. "You know about my hoard? You wouldn't do anything to it, would you, Ken-chan. I promise, really promise I won't accidentally put a lolly in your hair or a wrapper and I'll make sure Rukia doesn't either. Make sure you don't Rukia or I'll get into trouble. Here, Ken-chan you might like this. I brought it for you, just in case." She proffered a small bag of rice snacks.

The gesture and thoughtfulness touched him. "Thanks," he said gruffly to hide his pleasure.

"Sweets to the sweet. Bitterness to the bitter. Care to the caring. Craziness to the Kenny. Holes to the Hollow," Atonomatsuri chanted.

The last made Zaraki jerk, almost unseating Yachiru and Rukia. He spilled some of the rice crackers from the bag so sudden was his movement.

"Are you alright Ken-chan? Did you bite your tongue, or something?" Yachiru's voice and face mirrored her concern. "Are we too heavy?"

Zaraki exhaled heavily and tried to reassure his Assistant Captain. "I'm fine, kid. Of course you're not too heavy. I just remembered something I have to take care of. It's not important."

To Atonomatsuri he said, "Death to the decaying vulture. I'll talk to you later, you mouldy carcass." He stopped and decided to try another tactic. Insulting her did not work; threatening her meant he had to carry out the threat which meant he had to summon her. There had to be something else he could do. Bribery? It worked with his assistant captain. "If I buy sword polish and a new cloth to clean you with, will you shut up?"

"Yes. See that you do, Kenny boy. A pretty soft pink cloth for cleaning me. I'll be watching and listening. Don't make promises you won't keep," the vulture said a mixture of pleasure and sulkiness in her voice. Quiet returned to his mind. Relative quiet as the hum of his thoughts now became obvious. He chewed some crackers to cover the noise.

The conversation with Atonomatsuri had taken his attention from the fight. "Hey, what happened?" The Captain's hair clamps were now lying on the ground and that was unexpected.

"Weren't you watching Ken-chan? Renji did that. I think he's going to bankai in a moment. He looks like he's running out of breath," Yachiru said.

"I'm staggered. I didn't know Renji had improved this much, but he won't beat Byakuya, not yet. I think you're right Yachiru, he looks pretty tired." Rukia said her eyes fixed on the figures of her brother and her friend.

With a sudden move, the 6th Division Captain kicked Renji's feet from underneath him causing his assistant captain to fall, very heavily, on his knees. "The fight ends here. You are under report and will be confined to quarters for the rest of the day. Learn your place in this world."

"If you confine me to quarters, will you send the paperwork so I have something to do?" Renji asked swiftly, rising to his feet and rubbing the area on which he landed.

The look of shock on Captain Kuchiki's face made Zaraki rumble with laughter. The assistant captain must hate paperwork as much as Zaraki.

"It will be sent, and I expect it to be completed correctly, with no errors," the Captain said with emphasis as he gracefully retrieved his Kenseikan from the ground, placing it in his pocket.

"Why did Renji make that offer?" Rukia said incredulously. "He hates paperwork. He once told me he'd prefer to give up sake rather than do paperwork. I think he was exaggerating."

"You may all leave. This was not a public performance, or perhaps I should charge you a fee for the entertainment. Rukia, if you are still here, could you please meet me in my office," the cool tone of Captain Kuchiki's voice shamed people into moving hastily away.

Rukia, assisted by Zaraki, found her way down to the ground. "Thanks Captain Zaraki. Thanks assistant captain. I'll see you later," she said smiling and bowing slightly she left, following her brother.

Ayasegawa strolled toward his Captain, shaking his head with amusement, a wry smile playing around his lips. He seemed pleased about something.

Meantime Madarame was speaking to Renji who was walking to his quarters. Their heads were close together and something struck Zaraki. What were the two men discussing with such interest? "I know the second part of the bet," he said aloud.

"Tell me Ken-chan, tell me," Yachiru squealed. "I want to know too."

"Think Yachiru. Does Madarame like paperwork?"

"No, he hates it nearly as much as you do." Yachiru answered slowly, "but last night he asked to do it, even though Pretty Boy nearly finished it and Baldy has a sore arm. The Crimson Kamikaze just asked for paperwork and the Princess said he doesn't like it either. Ken-chan, that's a really stupid bet."

"I only left a few pages on new methods of ordering supplies as I thought you might like to read them, Captain. We'll need some new furniture and other items when we start work on your office," Ayasegawa explained having heard the last part of the conversation.

They were silent for a moment as they watched the two friends performed a complicated rite of farewell.

"Yachiru, Ayasegawa, do you think we might accidentally find some more paperwork? Something really tedious that should be done but we've been putting off?" After all the man had mentioned birds and uttered an adage. His life shouldn't be too easy.

Ayasegawa pursed his lips as he thought. "Yes, there is something. We got it last week: a full summary on dress regulations and stuff like that. I glanced at it and immediately began yawning. There are 200 pages that require comment on each page. Would that satisfy your sadistic urge, Captain?"

"Two hundred pages? And you say it's boring?" It sounded as if it had been designed for this type of punishment.

"If Captain Unohana could synthesise it into a drug, you'd have an effective cure for insomnia," was the reply. Ayasegawa was watching Madarame return, a calculating look on his face.

"Hey, Captain. Enjoy the fight?" Madarame said as he rejoined them.

"Yeah. Abarai had to try hard to make Kuchiki fight him. Was that why you didn't think he'd get past the first bet?" It was the most plausible explanation Zaraki could see.

Madarame nodded.

"Right; now we'll go back to 11th Division and you can do that paperwork while we look at the office. Time to remove any roaches that might be there. You can sit outside while we move the furniture. I'll have a table and chair put out for you so can work without interruption."

"Okay. Yumichika can look over the furniture for those insects you mentioned. I told him where they might be nesting and he knows what to look for." A sharp glance told Zaraki that Madarame had understood his allusion and both Ayasegawa and Yachiru indicated their grasp of his reference to insects.

A shop caught Zaraki's eye. He remembered his promise to Atonomatsuri and asking his friends to wait he bought a gaudy, but soft pink cloth and sword polish, the most expensive kind. "Maybe this will give the blooming broiler something else to think about," he half hoped. She did not provide any comment which cheered the 11th Division Captain slightly.

Continuing their walk back Zaraki wondered where he should put the dolls while the office was being 'decorated'. "Hey, Yachiru, I need to store some things at your place. Is that a problem?"

Her sharp glance showed she knew what he meant without further explanation. "No Ken-chan. You can carry them in and put them anywhere, except on my bed, or on my sweets, or on my clothes….. I think I better show you where you can put them."

After settling Madarame down to work, amidst a large amount of complaining when he realised he had to read the document that Ayasegawa had been disinclined to study, Zaraki and his 5th seat removed the dolls from the office. When they reached Yachiru's quarters she indicated the one corner that was not taken up with her myriad pastimes and interests. The boxes towered above the girl, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Ken-chan. I still haven't given Piecrust his present. I'll give them to him tomorrow, or should I keep them? I don't think he'll appreciate them and he might cry or something. Do you have a doll of me? And one of you. Can I have them?"

"You're lucky. I have two of you but only one of me, thank the devil. I need only one of each doll. Later today, we have to sort them out, because tomorrow we start payback. You can have the doubles if you want." It was one way to get rid of the dolls he didn't need.

Ayasegawa had opened one of the boxes which happened to contain a doll of Captain Kurotsuchi. "Ugly doll, ugly man. You won't need this doll, Captain. Do you want it assistant captain?"

Yachiru looked at the doll and made a face. "No, I don't like it. Even this small he seems creepy."

"But his daughter might like it," guessed Zaraki. "Are you sure that….." Intercepting a frigid glance from Ayasegawa he contented himself with a small grunt of satisfaction. Corrupting assistant captains was another form of retaliation. He changed the subject. "Yeah, let's get the office cleared while we can. I don't want that freak listening into my conversations anymore.

After enlisting the help of a few of the Division, the furnishings were stripped from the office. They looked smaller and very insignificant outside the office and Zaraki discovered he didn't really like them much anymore. The cabinet he wanted to keep but the table was too small and ugly.

"New furniture. Chuck the old desk and chair and whatever else. I only want to keep the cabinet. Check it for white ants. The new stuff should be dark wood, oak or something. What colour are you going to paint the walls?" he demanded looking forcefully at Ayasegawa who shifted uneasily.

"White with touches of dark blue and blood red. Red curtains and dark blue trim. Everything else I thought of seemed wrong," he confessed.

"Sounds acceptable. Go with it," Zaraki ordered, satisfied that he could live with that colour scheme.

"Uh, Captain. Um can I check the cabinet," asked Madarame imploringly. He had removed his head from his hands as he looked up from what he was reading. "This document is really boring. I'm not interested in the number of times the sash should be wrapped around the waist before it's tied or the correct type of sock." He rubbed his eyes and then stretched.

"You can have a 10 minute break to check the cabinet. Remember, you offered to do the paperwork today. That's what you get for making stupid bets."

Madarame flushed guiltily. "Yeah, it was stupid. I hope Renji has to read the same thing. There're a few rules about tattoos that I don't think he'll like."

* * *

_Author's Note:_

Thank you to those people who reviewed.

I used the flower narcissus to describe Piecrust because he is a narcissist. The nicknames used in this are different to the ones normally used by Yachiru but she does sometimes change the name if she feels like it and I struggled to find a good name for Renji.

spoiler If Zaraki dies in the online manga, I'll stop reading it, damn it.

Not much else to say except:

Please review.

MS


	28. The Subsequent Frontier

Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust aka Flower (the jerk).

The Subsequent Frontier

"Rules about tattoos? I didn't know there could be rules about anything like that," Ayasegawa said leaning over to look. After a few seconds he was seated behind the desk, reading the proposal with intense interest.

Relieved he didn't have to read the damn thing, Zaraki watched as Madarame looked over the furniture. Even if it wasn't going to be returned to the office it would be useful to know where the bugs had been planted. It was satisfying to believe he would now be able to talk without being overheard. If anyone had eavesdropped on his conversations with Atonomatsuri he'd have to kill them. There was only one person who may have and killing Kurotsuchi would be a pleasure, but would also mean he'd had to explain his reasons. For now, he'd stick to the plan.

The cabinet was now unlocked and Madarame was looking inside. "Hey, Captain, there's still some sake and stuff in here. Can I have some?"

"No. You're supposed to be checking the thing for any problems. Are there any?" The request did not surprise Zaraki. It amused him that Madarame would use any excuse to try to raid the cabinet and it was too early to start drinking.

"Um, yeah. I do see a problem, a big one," Madarame said, drawing his head out of the aperture. "It looks like you've got woodworm."

Zaraki felt his brows contact in anger. The bloody Clown had ruined the only piece of furniture he liked.

"I mean, it really does have woodworm," Madarame said. "See the holes? I'm not sure if they're still active. We can fumigate it if you want, but it might be better to chuck it."

Zaraki considered the article of furniture. He liked it, and didn't give a damn if it was full of holes, as long as the infestation was over. "No, I want to keep it. Could you find that rum we talked about? Hey Yachiru, did you get your important items out of the office? You know, the ones we mentioned earlier," he prompted his assistant captain. If the lollies were found during the redecoration he knew they'd be eaten.

"Oooh, you're right Ken-chan. Thanks for reminding me," she said as she dashed into the office, returning with a sack almost as large as she, which she took to her quarters.

Madarame located the rum which he handed to his Captain and then looked over the other pieces of furniture indicating to Zaraki that more than one had an additional, unwanted feature. Working together, they pried the listening devices from the furniture and crushed them under their feet.

"I hope someone was listening while we did that," Zaraki stated grimly. "How long do you think they were there?"

"Some time, I'd guess from the discolouration around them. I'll check the new stuff when it comes. Maybe I'll do a sweep of the office once a week, just to make sure. If the guy's done it once, he'll probably do it again," Madarame stated with disgust. "I think I might go and help Captain Unohana with her renovation tomorrow." The meaning in his words was obvious.

"Ken-chan, should we tell other Captain's? If the Clown Captain is checking up on you, maybe he wants to check up on everyone," Yachiru said very quickly. Her brows were drawn together and he saw a spark of temper in her eyes.

"Mmmm. Yeah. Maybe I'll mention it to the Old Man. Yachiru, could you go and tell Captain Fon. She might be interested, as it could be seen as interfering with her job," Zaraki said slowly. Hell, if he could make trouble for the Clown Captain, he would, but again he remembered he was trying not to draw any attention to himself. "Or you could ask Captain Fon to tell Yamamoto if she finds anything in her office. That might give her a reason to get the Old Man to accompany her when she goes to talk to Kurotsuchi."

"Good idea, Ken-chan," she grinned up at him. "Don't do anything exciting while I'm gone. Do you think Captain Fun will have any sweets?"

"Don't call her that, she won't like it. I'll get you some sweets, though I don't think you need more," Madarame offered.

"You can't tell me what to do, Baldy. Only Ken-chan is allowed to do that," Yachiru pouted.

Zaraki felt a smile spread over his face at the nickname. Captain Fun. He was pretty sure Soi wouldn't like that. "I agree with Madarame. Call her Captain Fon and be polite."

Yachiru nodded and skipped off.

Ayasegawa cleared his throat loudly, attempting to gain attention. "Captain, I have a bad feeling about this proposal."

Furrowing his brow for a moment, Zaraki wondered what he meant. What proposal was the guy talking about? Then he noticed that his fifth seat was holding the 200 page document in his hand, looking very grave.

"It's a stroke of luck that Ikkaku was concentrating when he read this part and mentioned the tattoos. I believe that whoever wrote it, deliberately made it boring so that it would not be read," Ayasegawa continued. His face was grave and he didn't even smooth his hand over his hair such was his disquiet.

"Huh? I nearly fell asleep until I saw the mention of tattoos and the new requirement for them." Ikkaku was no longer examining the furniture but was sitting on his heels as he spoke. "Why, what else is in there?"

"The title which is: The Subsequent Frontier: An Official Proposal to Moderate the Clothing Standards of Shinigami in order to Present a Uniform Appearance. Conformity to provide Stability in the face of changing demands and needs; gives a mild idea what this is about and it's not only dress standards. Most of the important stuff is buried in the middle. I started there because that's where Ikkaku found the rules about tattoos." He turned to Madarame, "I can tell you skipped the first hundred pages and having skimmed them you didn't miss anything important," he accused his friend who just smiled guiltily and shrugged. "There's mention of appropriate hairstyles, adornment and the proposal that all female Shinigami wear skirts," Ayasegawa did not look too disappointed at the last suggestion.

"I'd like that. Does it specify a length?" Madarame said. "I think your girlfriend looks good in the skirt and I'd like to see Ran in something short…." he faltered as he received a scathing look from his friend.

"She's not my girlfriend and I'm sure Captain Fon and Captain Unohana would not appreciate being told how to dress. Nor would any female Shinigami. The skirts are to be either above or just below the knee. There are a few other regulations which remove the basic unisex style. But that's not the worst part," he told Madarame very sternly, but his eyes had a slightly faraway look.

"Okay, can the suspense. What's the worst part," Zaraki asked impatiently. He could imagine the reaction of Soi and Retsu if they were informed that they would have to wear skirts. Whoever wrote this must either have a death wish or hoped that it would be signed without anyone reading the document. Even if it was passed, who would be stupid enough to try to enforce the rules?

"No feathered ornamentation may be worn by any Shinigami," Ayasegawa wailed, his pain at this idea evident to anyone who could hear him. He appeared really upset and blew his nose in his usual delicate manner.

"Why's that important?" Zaraki began and then looked at his 5th seat. "Oh, yeah, well. Ur, anything else?"

"Captain's coats are not to be tattered or ripped in any manner, nor are male Shinigami allowed to wear kimonos; no Shinigami may now have a visible tattoo if he or she wishes to gain any rank higher than 10th seat; no bells to be worn on the hair; all long hair to be braided at the back of the head or otherwise confined; any bald person is required to wear a hat; no training wheels on zanpaku-to's but makeup is allowed,' was the sniffily reply. "And there's more. I'm only outlining some of the changes."

Bemused, Zaraki glanced at the document. The ideas were stupid. No one would agree to all these changes. There had to be something else. "Who wrote it?"

Madarame grabbed the sheaf of papers and looked at the back. "It came from the Research division, stating that analysis proves that these changes will provide a better working environment and more efficient running of the Seireitei."

"The Clown Captain," Ayasegawa almost shrieked in annoyance.

"That damn Kurotsuchi," Zaraki growled. The man was making personal attacks again. He noticed his hair and his coat were targeted along with many other Captains distinctive dress. What was the guy playing at?

"But he's not stupid enough to think anyone would agree to this," Madarame said, reflectively as he waved the document up and down.

"Who's not stupid?" Yachiru said appearing with a pile of papers in her hand. "Someone gave me these to give you Ken-chan. Captain Fun found a bug. She's not happy, her face got creased and her eyes became really fierce."

Taking the papers from his assistant captain, he glanced at them. "Kurotsuchi's not stupid. I think I begin to understand," he said. "This is the revised proposal. It's shorter, only 20 pages rather than 200 and I bet it's easier to read. Here, Madarame, you agreed to do the paperwork. Read it and let me know what changes were made."

"I'll set some of the layabouts to work painting your office," the 5th seat said. His face had a spot of colour in each cheek indicating his anger at the document he had read. Flouncing off he muttered darkly, under his breath, about people who could not recognise true beauty when it was in front of them.

"So, Captain Fon is not happy with the Clown Captain either. Strange how unpopular he is becoming," grinning widely Zaraki patted Yachiru on the shoulder. "Good job, Yachiru. You wouldn't want to wear a skirt as part of your uniform, would you?"

She made a face. "No. It would make me feel silly and self conscious. Is that what that paper's about?"

"Some of it," Zaraki sat in his chair and gave his assistant captain a brief outline of some of the suggestions.

She did not seem happy to hear any of them. "I suppose he'll put a limit on lollies next."

"Possibly. Maybe he does think he's in line to be the next Captain General." The chair was not comfortable and he was glad that it had to be replaced. ""Madarame, hand me that stuff about requisitioning furniture." Taking the information he looked at it and with Yachiru's help began to fill in the items he thought he required.

"Don't forget a bookshelf, comfortable visitor's chairs, and a screen, Captain," Ayasegawa's voice said over his shoulder as he looked at the list. "I'm supervising the painting, but it doesn't mean I have to get dirty."

"What do I want a screen for?" He didn't have a screen now, and he'd never missed it.

"Because it would make the room more beautiful; especially if you spent some money on it. A screen adds something to a room," the pleading note in the voice was unexpected.

"Yeah, more clutter and a place for people to hide." Zaraki thought about it. Did he want a screen? Would he even notice it after the first week? It seemed a weird sort of thing to have in an office and there was enough strange stuff happening in his life.

"I think a screen would be nice Ken-chan," Yachiru added her vote to the request. She beamed at him and giggled slightly.

"You'd hide your sweets behind it, or sleep behind it or hide behind it and eat your sweets," Madarame accused Yachiru.

It was an accurate assessment. As her stash of sweets became larger, she had more difficulty finding a hiding spot. The last stash had been hidden behind the curtain, but the bulge had drawn Zaraki's attention one day when he was trying to avoid doing some work. He'd expected to find someone crouching behind the curtain, waiting to attack him, and it was an anti-climax to find only sugary foes secreted behind the fabric.

"Order a screen then. I don't want to be bothered with details. Here, finish filling this in and I'll sign it. I was only doing it while I waited for Madarame to finish reading that damned document." He handed the paper over, pleased not to fill in another form.

"I'll choose something appropriate," Yumichika said clasping his hands together in pleasure, the paper crumpling from the pressure. "Manly, but not reeking of testosterone. No dead animals, maybe a nice inlaid landscape with the mountains and rivers and some clouds and rain."

Madarame sighed slightly, and glancing across at the man Zaraki noticed that a grimace of disbelief was plastered over his face. "What it is?" he demanded harshly, a sense of foreboding shadowing his question.

"I think we better discuss this elsewhere," Madarame said looking around. "I'm not sure you want everyone to hear this," was the reply, voiced in an undertone.

"Okay, let's go back to my quarters and you can check them for bugs while we're there." Zaraki realised the sense in the suggestion to move the discussion, but felt unwilling to go to another tea shop.

On their arrival Madarame and Ayasegawa made a quick survey of his quarters and found a few bugs while Yachiru watched intently. Madarame also appeared to find something else which he quickly destroyed before Zaraki could see it. In this instance the 11th Division Captain decided he did not want to know. He had an idea but did not wish to have it confirmed. For all he knew those were standard in all Captains' quarters.

"Madarame, I think we might send an anonymous note to all captains and assistant captains to check their quarters. Don't you think?"

Nodding Madarame indicated he understood that his captain had seen his surreptitious removal and destruction of the camera. "Yep. Yumichika, how about you draft one up in that disguised writing you use."

"Why do I always end up doing this stuff," the 5th seat complained, but began to quickly write a note in very plain characters.

"Now, tell me about this proposal," losing patience with his temper unstable, at the recognition of his lack of privacy, Zaraki's voice was angry.

"This guy is cunning. It's not a revised proposal. It makes reference to the primary document, but indirectly. If you only read this and agreed to the very fuzzy references you would be basically agreeing to the original scheme." Madarame was not happy and scowled at the paper.

"It would all make sense if he issued a final version. I think he's doing a softening up process, Ken-chan," again Yachiru reminded them of her sharp intelligence.

"What do you mean, kid?" She had seen something they had not noticed and if she was worried, it meant they should all be concerned.

"It's like this Ken-chan. If anyone bothered to read the original, they would reject the proposal. The Clown Captain will know there are some Captains who will read the thing closely, like Snowy and Frosty and they will probably not agree. Clowny may have guessed that, and would not have targeted them directly. The second version blurs the first version, appearing to soften it, but it keeps its teeth. Both would get rejected." Yachiru stopped and bit her lip as she picked up the 200 pages, weighing it in her hand. "Go in hard, make excessive demands and then, eventually, suggest a small but important change. After the first two versions, the next seems reasonable by comparison and might gain some support. If he's really tricky, he will issue more than just one additional version. Eventually he'll only suggest the change that won't affect too many people, like no training wheels on zanpaku-to's."

"I know that game. If the first change gets passed, then you gradually add more, one by one, building on the original alteration. The biggest reaction is always against the first suggestion. Once you accept one, it makes the way clear for the others that follow. Yeah, that makes sense, but how did you work it out?" He knew Yachiru was clever but this was a devious tactic, one beloved of politicians in the human world.

"How do you think I get things through in the Shinigami's Women's Association?" Yachiru asked innocently.

Zaraki stared at her, the corners of his mouth twitching. He didn't think it was a good idea, but the laughter overwhelmed him. "Tricky? I think the toad could learn a few things from you, or maybe he already has. His daughter, she attends these meetings, doesn't she?"

His assistant captain nodded. "Sits quietly; does everything I tell her. She pays attention and watches."

Madarame walked behind Zaraki, making certain his captain was between him and the assistant captain before he commented "In other words, you gave the idea to Kurotsuchi."

Yachiru launched herself at the 3rd seat, intending harm, but Zaraki caught her before she got close enough. "Don't attack the guy because he's right," he said as he put her on her feet.

Her large eyes were lifted to his and she looked shocked. "You think so too, Ken-chan?" She seemed genuinely distressed at the thought.

"But it doesn't matter, assistant captain. You know the method," Ayasegawa said his face alight with excitement. "If you weren't here, we would still be wondering and trying to plumb the depths of the problem. He may have used your tactic, but you know how to counter it."

Zaraki silently thanked the be-feathered man. If he had said anything further he knew he'd probably have hurt Yachiru, and he hated doing that. She wouldn't say anything but her face would change and her chirpiness would evaporate. It would take a few days and many sweets to restore her usual attitude and he already had enough attitude problems with the oversized, irritating budgie.

Grinning broadly, her good humour restored, Yachiru patted Ayasegawa on the arm. "Pretty Boy, you are so right. See Baldy, I'm the solution, not the problem. You're just a problem." Her giggle at Madarame's scowl relaxed the slightly tense atmosphere.

"Yeah, but I'm your problem aren't I? You are my senior officer," his face wore a wry expression and Yachiru softened.

"Yes, Baldy, and I'd rather you as a problem than Piecrust Flower, or should that be Flower Piecrust or Flour Piecrust. Oh, I could call him F.P. for short," she mused.

"Don't. That might be misunderstood. I think Piecrust is the better name. I'll gut anyone who called me KZ. Ichimaru only just got away with calling me Captain 11," Zaraki spoke with decision. Giving initials to people made them seem important and they often gained inflated egos as a result. Some idiots insisted that everyone called them by those initials. Aside from that, he could think of a few words that could be substituted for both letters and while they would be funny, it might be bad for morale.

"Your assistant captain is clever KZ. It's obvious she is not related to you. When are you going to polish me? You bought the polish and the cloth and I yearn to be clean," interrupted the less than dulcet tones of Atonomatsuri.

"You want me to fillet you, you pathetic poultry. I'll polish you when I decide and if you call me KZ again you'll be summoned. Yeah, summoned when I'm in the pits of Hell and want something to roast over the fire," the bird had overstepped the mark this time. He was not some pretentious jerk who wanted to be known by his initials.

"How can you go to Hell, Kenny boy? You're a Shinigami and not a Hollow, well not anymore," Atonomatsuri sounded strangely perky and Zaraki immediately felt a sense of foreboding. "Unless you plan to become a Hollow again, but maybe not. So how do you plan to go to Hell? That is not an option for you. And one thing more…."

Grudgingly he interrupted, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which piece of information that I already know are you going to repeat? If it's about you and the pain palaver, don't. I know all about your blasted emotions and my mind and the other facts you decide to unwillingly tell me. When you decide to tell me something I want to know I'll listen. Until then…"

"Until you need my help tomorrow you mean. I can see this whole operation going wrong, Kenny Boy. Someone may get hurt, someone may even die," Atonomatsuri sounded sombre; the tone change alerted him that on this occasion she might be serious.

"With any luck it will be you. If Madarame wasn't injured I'd ask him to do the lucky dance to make sure. What are bloody whining about anyway? It was your idea. What buggy idea is twisting your already twisted mind? Are you feeling the effects of adage overload?" The payback scheme had already been set up and he didn't want to change all the preparations. It had seemed like everything was coming into his grasp to make the plan succeed and he didn't want to wait.

"You still haven't got the items you ordered. Caveat emptor: Let the buyer beware," she reminded him, distracting him from her earlier comment.

"That's where you're wrong, Tweety. They're here. It would be dumb to have them delivered to my office because I knew the office was being redecorated. I got a note about it. Sometimes I think you are a bigger moron than you say I am." For once he felt like he had the upper hand in the interchange. If the vulture could give him stupid names he would return the insult. He had seen the chair and the coat when he entered. They were concealed under a sheet.

"Tweety! Vultures do not tweet. Why would you call me something like that? I'm not a canary. I am a bird of noble heritage and your zanpaku-to, not some foundering fledgling, nor a hunk of mindless metal" The shock and anger in Atonomatsuri's voice was one of the most pleasing sounds he'd heard all day.

"You call me KZ again and I will call you Tweety. Yeah, and ease up on the Kenny boy. It gets easier to annoy you each time. I think you'd be easier to deal with if you were a canary. At least you wouldn't be pink," if he had the upper hand, he may as well take advantage of it.

"Canaries are inferior. I would not be mellow if I was yellow. You think you're clever now, do you Kenny? It's all because of me; I made you smarter. It's a pity I can't make you better looking, but it's not always possible to make a silk purse out of a sows ear or a Kenny into anything other than a violent beast." The tone did not convey the normal confidence that the bird assumed when trying to claim her superiority.

"Anyway, what were you nattering on about, someone might die. How could anyone die? It's all been sorted. Soi is now angry at being bugged and she has a valid excuse to get the old man to go with her. Madarame is injured, but…. Blast; there's one thing I hadn't thought about. How do I get the scumbag to encounter Madarame? He only leaves 12th Division for Captain's meetings or when he's skulking around hiding in the walls. He likes to be safe within his little empire." Without this part taken care of the plan would fail, but he still had one final card he could play.

"Ayasegawa, exactly how close are you with Kurotsuchi's daughter," he demanded in the voice he used when he wanted a direct answer.

His 5th seat swung around to face him, his visage reflecting his confusion at the question. "We've talked, I told you before. I'm not sleeping with her."

"But would she do something if you asked her nicely?" This was the make or break point of the plan.

"I don't know." He hesitated as he stroked his hair thoughtfully. "Perhaps. It depends what I ask."

"Can she keep a secret? Would she do something without needing a reason?" Zaraki wanted the answer now. Why was the guy taking so much time to provide the information? Didn't he know how important this might be?

"If you take the right tone with her, she'll do nearly anything you tell her to," Yachiru said confidently, nodding her head. "I could do it if you're too scared to talk to her, Pretty Boy."

"No you won't. I'll ask her. If you let me go to see her now Captain, I could take that dol….. Unwanted item as a present for her. What am I asking her to do?" Ayasegawa's quick rejection of Yachiru's help proved something to his Captain, who decided not to comment.

"Just ask her to get her father to take a walk." A realisation struck him and he paused. "Ask her to get him to go outside tonight at about 10.00. Madarame, I think we have to change the plan and do this tonight. Leaving it any longer may be dangerous."

"Yes, Captain. I want to get this over with. If we leave it any longer I might let my loathing of the guy get the better of me." Madarame nodded.

"Yachiru, you're fast and I trust you. Tell Retsu and Captain Fon what's happening. We won't get much sleep tonight, but that's too bad. Are we agreed?"

His three subordinates nodded and Zaraki sighed. Another busy afternoon and night ahead of him with no chance of taking a nap. Blast!

* * *

Author's Note:

Yes, the title of this chapter is a joke. I couldn't resist it.

I apologise for the spoiler in the last Author's Note and the mini fit of temper. Warning: Spoiler. I knew it was going to happen. Yamamoto is not stupid and I always thought that the mission to Hueco Mundo was a distraction.

So many questions about Piecrust and other characters. There is more than one reason that Piecrust was placed in 11th Division. I'm getting there. I want to get the issue of payback sorted out before I write about the other things. Heck, I want to see if Zaraki can fight using Atonomatsuri in her new form and what happens with the bets.

I must admit I abducted the rule for skirts from Volume 3 of Fullmetal Alchemist, but I thought miniskirts was going too far. When I read thesuggestion by Roy, and the support it received from the male officers, it cracked me up. I will hold the idea to ransom unless you review this chapter. I can imagine what would happen if someone told Soi what to wear. Heh heh heh. That would be fun. How long would it take to collect all the pieces of the poor Shinigami?

Thank you to spedclass(as always), Afrieal (love the name 'sadistic mime from hell'), Dakyu (I mean it. You've been solid in your support and advice), From the Psyche Ward (I can't forget this story), Ghost140 (Really? Okay), Favrite of Chaos (Yeah. Kamikaze, funny), Atkatsuki Leader13 (thanks for the reassurance), Lunatic Pandora (surprised me too), snowecat (glad you're enjoying it. Let me know if I've missed any words in this chapter and I'll fix it), Greenzaku (Thanks), Blood of Odin (Thank you), GinIchimaru321 (I enjoy every chapter I write), IshikaKisai (It's scary to think of Atonomatsuri liking anyone), vanchagreen (adages are fun), Death's Spear (Old Purple Digits. That guy seems to attract nicknames), and Gin Ichimaru's Girl (I like to make people laugh) for the reviews. I'll try to update more quickly.

MS (In light of Zaraki's comments, does this mean I'm a pretentious jerk?)


	29. Fighting Nemu

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Fighting Nemu**

"You might want to mention about the, er 'suggestions' in this document while you're talking to them," he suggested quickly before Yachiru left.

"Yes Ken-chan. I was going to tell them anyway. Captain Fun gave me some dried fruit when I told her about the bugs. They're not as good as lollies, but the dried pears were very sweet. I liked them." Her voice was still cheerful. "I forgot. Lolly sent this to you, I was given it with the papers but I was told to give it to you in private and you have to use the whole amount," she handed over a packet of powder, her face grave as she waved vaguely and left.

Taking the packet, which he saw was clearly labelled 'Sleeping Powder', he opened the bottle and poured the drug into the rum. "Only problem is it will look like someone's opened it," he realised. "I forgot about that."

"Give it to me. I'll wrap it, use a little kido and make it look untouched," Ayasegawa offered. "Sign this card," he instructed.

Signing the card "Kenpachi Zaraki" he wondered if it looked too fake. He didn't normally sign cards, nor did he give gifts. It was out of character. He asked the two men, but they just shrugged and began to discuss where Madarame should be found by Kurotsuchi.

"Will Nemu allow her father to act anyway he wishes? Does she have any influence over the creep?" Madarame asked. Zaraki realised it was a question he would like to hear answered.

"No. He ignores her when she says anything, unless it will be of some use. Nemu told me that he sees her as expendable and he will kill her when she ceases to be of any use to him. After he was defeated by the Quincy and she was badly hurt, he almost let her die, but changed his mind when he realised he would have to make a replacement and he was slightly concerned about the reaction of the Captain General. I feel sorry for the girl. Can I go now, Captain? I think I know where I can find her," Ayasegawa said, his usual attitude deserting him. He was being serious and for some reason this almost made Zaraki feel another one of those new disquieting emotions.

"Yeah, but don't be long. I want you back here. When this is over I'll let you have those days off in the human world. You might want to take your new friend," was the sly suggestion.

Instead of rejecting the suggestion, his 5th seat seemed to consider the idea. "That might be a good idea, but her father might not let her go."

"He might not have anything to say about the matter after tomorrow," Madarame said, smirking. "If Captain Yamamoto is unhappy with him, he might get demoted. That would be good."

"That won't happen. Who could take his place? We're already down 3 Captains and two assistant captains if you count Hinamori. We can't afford to lose anyone else and we all know it," Zaraki said soberly. Even though he had hoped that Kurotsuchi would suffer the consequences, he knew there was a limit to what would be possible repercussions. The old man had still not replaced the traitors.

Ayasegawa picked up the doll, placed it in a bag and bowing slightly to his Captain, left.

Silence descended on the room as Zaraki considered what he should do. There was still so much planning but he could not be seen consulting with Retsu or Soi, much as he would like to.

Something was annoying him. There was something he had overlooked and it was important. Thinking things through carefully, he understood and sprang to his feet. "We've got to stop him. If Nemu has the doll, then it will make it easy for Kurotsuchi to work out where the dolls came from. Come on Madarame. Get off your backside and come with me."

"It took you long enough," Atonomatsuri said a thrill of glee in her voice. "I would have told you Kenny but that would have made it easy for you and I'd hate to do that. You almost gave the game away, you silly Shinigami."

Zaraki shrugged, trying to ignore the words and running fast. "Hell, which direction Madarame?"

The third seat closed his eyes and pointed in the opposite direction. "I think he's that way."

Cursing, he turned and ran as fast as he could; knowing that if he wasn't in time all the planning was for nothing. All that thinking would have gone to waste, except the freaking vulture probably enjoyed it all. He began to firmly believe that she wanted him to fail, due to some perverse grudge.

His companion seemed to be struggling to keep up. "What's your problem?" his captain demanded not wishing to slow down.

"I slipped that bottle of rum into a pocket and it's banging into my leg. I don't know why I did it, stupid impulse," he panted. He was sweating and his colour was bad. The injury was obviously hurting him.

Looking ahead Zaraki saw Ayasegawa approaching Nemu who was standing outside a shop. She looked up and a smile crossed her face.

"I don't think I've ever seen her smile before," he told the man who was trying to keep pace with him.

"What's she got to smile about?" his adjunct wheezed in reply. "You stay here, Captain. Stand in the shadows or something. If she sees you she might know there's something wrong."

Standing close to the building he watched as, walking fast, Madarame reached Ayasegawa as he was about to hand over the box. As he watched he noticed that Madarame seemed to whisper something to him. His friend looked at him and began to walk slowly down the street after nodding farewell to Nemu. Madarame used the excuse to extract the bottle from his pocket and exchanged a few words with Nemu. As Ayasegawa drew close, Zaraki pulled him into the shadows as he noticed the shop door open and Kurotsuchi emerge.

"I think we might not need to do this tonight," Zaraki muttered seeing the immediate reaction of the Clown Captain.

Raising his voice the man was shrieking at his assistant captain. "I ask you to wait outside to carry the bags and when I emerge I find you talking to one of the scum of the Seireitei. Yet again you disappoint me." He stopped and looked at the 3rd seat, a sickly smile crossing his features. "He's injured. Even you should be able to kill him in that condition. Fight him Nemu."

His daughter looked at him, stunned. "I have no reason to fight him. He only said 'hello'."

"You dare to argue with me? I am your Captain and I demand you fight him and kill him. I am sick of the 11th Division and their dolt of a Captain," was the near hysterical response.

"But Mayuri…" Nemu started in appeal.

"I don't want to hear anything from you except the sound of you drawing your zanpaku-to and battling this piece of filth. I will not dirty my hands on such as him," the man now had hold of his daughter's shoulder and was shaking her.

Noticing Ayasegawa stiffening in outrage, Zaraki muttered, "It might be an idea to send a messenger to get the old man. I can't be seen to interfere and neither can you. I'm sure Madarame can take her, but he's still recovering and he probably won't want to hurt your friend."

"He'll go in hard; a fight is a fight. I won't be long," Ayasegawa said before quickly going to fulfil Zaraki's instructions.

"A fight? You want me to fight your daughter? Why?" Madarame's hand rested on the hilt of the zanpaku-to while the other hand held the bottle of rum. To Zaraki's eyes he seemed relaxed and the smile on his face indicated he was looking forward to combat with one or both of them.

"I thought 11th Division didn't need a reason to fight," mocked the 12th Division Captain. "Are you scared of fighting a scrawny woman? Are all the people in your Division cowards, like you?"

Ignoring the man, Madarame turned to Nemu. "Let's fight over this bottle of rum. If I win I keep it, if you win you keep it."

"No. I keep it either way. It's the price you pay for talking to my daughter," Kurotsuchi said taking the package from Madarame. He, ripped off the wrapping and then examined the bottle, read the card and then placed it in one of the bags he was carrying. "Your captain gave it to you and you're carrying it around so it obviously means something to you. A good brand. I will enjoy it this evening as I toast your death and the demise of your captain."

Madarame stretched, wrenching his neck and shifting his shoulders and he bent his back. "Okay, I'm all warmed up. Ready assistant captain?" With a look of glee he drew his zanpaku-to. "Let's fight."

Nemu looked at him uncertainly. "I do not wish to fight you."

The crack of Kurotsuchi's hand hitting his assistant captain's face was very loud. The mark stood out on her cheek and she stood there, lowering her head in shame.

"I'd prefer to fight you, Captain," Madarame said, his anger showing at the attack. "She doesn't want to fight."

"I don't fight vermin. Now fight him, you stupid girl. A fight to the death for the honour of your father: for 12th Division. Show this fool what one of my creations is capable of doing. I will prove my genius," screeched the painted man.

Madarame, his good humour restored by the last comment, chuckled. "The last time I heard something like that was in the human world and I found it funny then. Some Science Fiction show, with a weird looking guy screaming about the supremacy of his creations. What were they called? Kelads? Sontaseth? Dacramen? Darlings?"

"What are you speaking of?" Nemu looked interested. "What is a Science Fiction show?"

"It's a form of entertainment," Madarame seemed quite happy to talk to the girl and Zaraki wondered if he had been a little too quick to summon Captain Yamamoto.

Kurotsuchi slapped Nemu again and she fell against the side of the building. "This is not the venue for idle conversation. Fight him, or die."

"Don't worry about it, assistant captain. We'll fight," was the assurance provided to the girl who was looking dazed. Zaraki noticed that Madarame's shoulders had tensed. He was holding back from attacking the 12th Division Captain and the effort showed.

"To the death," pressured Kurotsuchi. The look of glee on his face was unpleasant.

"Whatever," Madarame said dryly. It was evident that he didn't take the fight seriously.

Nemu finally drew her zanpaku-to and stood uncertainly for a few seconds. Then she stood straight and took a fighting stance, her knees braced and her upper body bent slightly forward.

"I knew she could fight," he heard from his left. Ayasegawa had returned and was watching intently. "I sent the message and I think our assistant captain will be here soon. Who would have expected to witness two real fights in one day involving assistant captains?"

"The Clown wants them to fight to the death," Zaraki told him and the comment was met with a barrage of whispered swearing.

"Just when I think he can't sink any further in my estimation, he manages to do so," Ayasegawa finally hissed once he had rid himself of some of the more intricate insults.

"Son of a disease ridden scampi afflicted with rabies, vertigo and carpal tunnel syndrome is not the best insult I've ever heard," Zaraki said as an aside while wondering what half the things were.

"You try and think of something original," his 5th seat sniped back.

"What's a scampi anyway?" Zaraki was curious. "And carpal tunnel syndrome? Is that where someone puts a tunnel through you, or what?"

"What you doing Ken-chan. Are they fighting yet? They're just looking at each other. Did I miss anything, anything at all?" Yachiru seemed slightly happier and quickly climbed onto Zaraki's shoulder.

"Our 'friend' has possession of the rum, and Nemu has agreed to fight Madarame. I don't know what they're waiting for," trying to keep his voice down so as not to draw attention, Zaraki explained the situation to the girl.

"Another fight? I've seen enough fighting. Can't we go home so you can polish me," were the words resounding through his mind. "The Clown Captain has the rum, you don't need to hang around, Kenny. Captain Yamamoto will arrive, Jack will have his Jill, All will be well."

"Hey, Sewage. I'm not interested in what you have to say. I've never seen the girl fight and I'm not missing out on the chance." Zaraki had finally decided on a nickname for the bird. He'd been playing with the idea for a while. Aton seemed too cool for the bird, Mat might work but then the last part of the name, Suri. In an idle moment he played with the word and felt that Sewage best described how he felt about the vulture.

He blocked out the indignant retort, watching intently as finally there seemed to be some action.

Madarame bent his knees, holding his zanpaku-to between his hands, thrusting it toward his opponent. Nemu simple nodded as she waited for him to draw his blade.

A beat after he drew the blade she moved. Her leap over his head surprised all of them and before Madarame could turn around to confront her, she looped her foot around his legs and brought him crashing to the ground. As he hit the ground he quickly rolled out of the way of her blade and jumped to his feet almost in one move. The circled each other, each more wary than they had previously been.

"Fight the scum, Nemu. Stop shuffling around like that, this is not a dance. You could have had him if you'd moved faster," her father scolded impatiently. He was watching closely, his hand idly on the blade of his zanpaku-to.

"I don't trust Clowny," Yachiru whispered to her Captain. "He looks like he would stab Baldy in the back, if he had a chance."

Her observation seemed correct. The glassy eyes of the Captain seemed to be observing Madarame for the opportunity. Zaraki felt the hair on his arms rise as he realised he could do nothing to help his friend.

Nemu shot a glance at her father, her demeanour quite different now she was fighting. "Do it and I'll explain **everything** to the Captain-General," she said, her eyes were ferocious and Zaraki heard both Ayasegawa and Yachiru draw in their breath.

The shock also registered on Captain Kurotsuchi's face for a moment, before he rearranged his features to his normal disdainful expression. "We will talk about this later," he hissed, the displeasure in the change in attitude obvious in his voice. "Fight, girl, or the punishment will be more severe."

Madarame attacked, slicing the air to her left with his scabbard, while stabbing forward with his blade, catching Nemu on the arm, the zanpaku-to slicing through the material into the flesh below. Blood dripped from the cut to the ground, but Nemu retained her concentration on her opponent.

"You fool! You should have expected that," the Captain reprimanded his daughter shrilly.

"Excuse me, Captain, but if you don't shut up, I'll ignore Nemu and come after you. You're voice is getting on my nerves and makes it hard to concentrate," Madarame looked coolly at the 12 Division Captain. It was evident that he held no fear of the man and was probably hoping for the excuse to assault him.

"How dare you address me in that manner? I will tell your Capt….." He stopped as both Madarame and Nemu laughed softly.

"Yeah, tell my Captain. I'm sure he'll care," the mocking note in Madarame's voice made Zaraki smile.

"You laughed at me. Now I want to see both of you die. Fight, or I will blast you into oblivion where to be you stand," the quirky man said as he waved his hands in what he obviously assumed a threatening manner.

Nemu paled slightly. "He is quite capable of doing it," she told Madarame. "I think we better do as he says."

Once again they circled each other, watching for an opening. Swiftly Nemu leapt again and seeing the move Madarame also jumped. They twisted through the air, their blades meeting, sparks being struck from the blades at the force of the impact. The collision forced them both to stumble as they landed, but they both quickly recovered and turned to face each other again.

"My respect for you grows," Madarame commented, nodding to Nemu.

"As mine does for you," she replied and then dodged to his left cutting into his side with a quick pass.

Madarame seemed to expect the move and a gash appeared in her left side as his zanpaku-to found its mark. Both wounds were slight, but the blood still dripped from the gashes.

Pausing for a second, Madarame quickly pushed the scabbard at Nemu, who deflected it quickly and then bent back speedily to dodge the accompanying cut from his zanpakuto. Her agility saved her from the force of the blow, but a new slash appeared in her uniform, the blade slicing through the material but not reaching the skin. As he drew back his blade for another blow she somersaulted backwards, out of his reach. This time she did not pause, but ran toward him, holding her blade to one side and as she neared him, she transferred the blade to her other hand and fell on her knees, trying to spear him through the gut with her zanpaku-to. The move was fast and cunning.

Seconds before she reached him, Madarame commanded "Hozukimaru, extend" and the increased length of his zanpaku-to intercepted the intended blow. He grinned at Nemu who was still kneeling in front of him and then kicked her hard in the chest, knocking her to the ground, but only for an instant. She rolled to the side, away from his thrust and jumped to her feet.

They gauged each other for a few seconds and then both ran toward the other, blades sweeping through the air and they both tried to cut and dodge the other at the same time. Both failed to dodge. As steel met flesh, the blood blossomed to the surface of their shoulders, the cut deep enough to disable the arm.

"Same damn arm that got hurt before! I gotta switch hands now. Just as well I trained with both," grumbled Madarame.

"I suppose you're going to tell me you're really left handed," Nemu, gasped as she also switched her zanpaku-to to her other hand.

"Nah. I'm ambidextrous. Just like to pretend I favour one arm to confuse people," Madarame admitted. "And I've got to change the thing back to its unreleased form. Fighting with one arm makes it hard to use the reach."

The change was the matter of a moment and their blades met again and they fought furiously, dodging, wheeling out of the way when the other came too close. Madarame feinted, stealing behind and sliced off the end of her ponytail before she turned and forced him back with rapid flashes of her sword.

He gave ground and then began to redouble his strokes. They locked blades and stared at each other. Madarame was grinning widely. "You give good fight," he told Nemu.

She nodded in response and jumped back only to spin forward, again trying to spit him on her zanpaku-to. As he dodged he swept at her, cutting her leg as her blade twisted and sank into his arm which was flopping uselessly. The ground on which they fought was now stained with the blood that was flowing from their wounds. They back away from each other as a few seconds passed as they seemed to estimate their next move.

This time Nemu rushed him, but she miscalculated and found the point of Madarame's sword lodged in her chest as hers gouged his side, cutting deeply. They stood for seconds, each seemingly unable to believe they were seriously wounded or they had breached the other's guard so easily.

"Stop. This is a fight without honour or reason," Captain Yamamoto ordered, finally arriving with a small entourage. His assistant captain immediately stepped between the combatants and a seated officer relieved both Madarame and Nemu of their zanpaku-to's. The fight was over.

Zaraki breathed a sigh of relief. He had begun to wonder if he would need to promote Ayasegawa to 3rd seat due to Madarame's death.

"No. It was for the honour of 12th Division. I provided the reason." Kurotsuchi protested.

At this point Nemu slumped to the ground, the blood from her wounds pooling underneath her. A party of 4th Division arrived in time to see the fall and they quickly surrounded her and bore her off to their Division.

"I did not give you permission to leave, Nemu," her father protested. "I am shamed by how weak you are. Do you hear me? You've shamed me, again."

Captain Yamamoto leant on his stick and looked at his 12th Division Captain. "Take the 11th Division 3rd seat to 4th Division. He is too stubborn to collapse, but his injuries require attention," he abruptly told his adjuncts. He then waited until only he and Kurotsuchi remained.

Zaraki wanted to hear what was being said but knew if he got any closer his reiatsu would give him away.

"Captain; until now I have not interfered with the way you run your Division or treat your assistant captain. You have been allowed a great amount of leeway in your dealings and research, but recent incidents are making me question that decision. Free will is such a difficult thing to permit and then enforce. How can I allow you freedom when you enslave those subordinate to you?" He moved closer to Kurotsuchi and looked at him fiercely. "We are at war. Not within the Seireitei but with those who chose to leave it and join the Hollows. Fermenting discord between Shinigami I will not allow. We have to put aside petty feuds and think of the greater good," he held up his hand as Kurotsuchi began to protest. "Your campaign against Captain Zaraki will stop immediately. We need him, the Gotei 13 need him. All our remaining Captains are required to face the coming threat, including you, and your actions only serve to weaken us. I had planned to summon you to my office to talk of this, but you have forced my hand. Go back to your Division and remain there until further notice. You shame the Gotei 13."

Again Kurotsuchi opened his mouth but the Captain-General flicked his hand at him as if shooing him away. A look of incredulous astonishment that had been growing on the man's face was now tinged with fear and he bowed swiftly, spun around and began to walk swiftly. After a few steps he broke into a run, his packages swinging unregarded from his hands.

Captain Yamamoto said quietly, "Captain Zaraki, if I hear gossip about this I will know who was indiscreet. I did not wish to rebuke the man in front of an audience, but you have been his target. Turnabout is fair play."

Zaraki gulped at the adage, but wisely chose to say nothing. Captain Yamamoto nodded and left.

"I think we better go and visit Baldy. He did good. It was unfair that Clowny made him fight when he was wounded," Yachiru said, indignant about the fight.

"He knew we were here," Ayasegawa said with wonder in his voice. "Captain Yamamoto knew we were here. That's not the best thing to happen."

"And he used an adage," crowed Atonomatsuri.

"And you didn't, for a change," Zaraki told her.

"You haven't given me a chance. Revenge is a dish best served cold. I've been saving that one. I told you, adages are part of life and important, just like I'm important." The bird sounded smug and the complacency irked Zaraki.

"Revenge is not food and you're not important, or only to me if you help me. I don't think anyone else would consider you as even slightly interesting," Zaraki said, not really considering the words he imparted to the vulture.

"At last you acknowledge that I'm important to you! For that I will tell you something important. There is more than one truth." The bird gabbled the information and then his mind went quiet.

"Atonomatsuri, what do you mean?" The last sentence grabbed Zaraki's attention. More than one truth? What was the bird implying this time?

The only answer was silence.

Walking toward 4th Division; Yachiru perched in her accustomed position on his back. To quell the disturbing thoughts that were beginning to rise in his mind he asked Ayasegawa, "Did you finish those anonymous notes?"

"Not quite. I keep getting interrupted and I've only drafted the note. You'll have to check it," was the unwilling response.

"Me? Check. Oh, hell I supposed I have to. I want them sent tomorrow somehow. This spying stuff has to stop. What's happening with the re-decoration, anyway? Will it be finished tomorrow?" Zaraki seemed to be remembering everything that required attention. It was all the fault of thinking too much.

"I think we might wish to reconsider if we want to go through with your plan, tonight. The Captain-General knew we were there. He might suspect…"

"No he won't Pretty Boy. Even if Clowny protests, Long Eyebrows warned him today. And Captain Fun is really angry about the bugs. Ooh. What will she do if there is a camera in her bedroom? Do you think Clowny will be filleted or minced?" Yachiru rolled her eyes and then a grave and unhappy look crossed her face. "I want my room checked, now!"

Zaraki realised what she was thinking and his hands clenched. Until now it had seemed slightly funny. "I'll check as soon as we see how Madarame is," he assured his assistant captain through gritted teeth. "Payback will happen and I might even kill the guy myself."

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

Another joke title. Why take it seriously?

I hope I wasn't too subtle with my reference to Doctor Who. Out of Davros and Kurotsuchi, I think I prefer Davros. He was originally trying to save his race…….at least that was his story.

Thank you to Cartoon-pen who helped me with the fight scene. As usual, you've been a great help.

29 chapters! I almost feel like saying welcome to my novel because it is beginning to reach that length. Thank you to the people who have supported me with positive comments so far. Especial thanks to: Favrite of Chaos, Afrieal, The Blizzard Alchemist, lightningstrxu, swordbunny4486, Ghost140, LunaticPandora1, Setsuna the Dragon, FrostbiteDarkfury, spedclass, Leelotus1028, Chrosis (You got your fight scene. Happy now?), Kira Windwood and Azuvala Assantri for reviewing the last chapter. Your comments helped with this chapter.

Please review.

MS


	30. Cold Revenge

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

Welcome to Chapter 30 of Zanpaku-to, a story that was originally going to be 3 chapters long.

**Spoiler:** The revenge commences (at last).

**Cold Revenge**

Madarame was badly injured as was Nemu. Retsu was not happy that more casualties had arrived in her Division but hid it well. She fussed over the 3rd seat, making certain his wounds were bound and his bedding comfortable. After Yachiru was assured he would recover she took Ayasegawa to visit Nemu. She obviously knew that Retsu needed to talk to Zaraki alone.

When Zaraki asked about Nemu, Retsu pressed her lips together. "There is damage done to that girl's body that predates this fight. I am fearful of prying because this is only the second time she has been admitted to 4th Division as a patient. Following past experience I imagine I will be ordered to return her to 12th Division very shortly. I am trying to accelerate the healing as much as possible, but I don't think it will be enough. Zaraki, would you please encourage Yachiru to form a friendship with Nemu? She mentioned it earlier and I believe that your assistant captain might offer the girl some support."

The question perplexed Zaraki. Yachiru befriend the daughter of the enemy? Ayasegawa already had done so and he was their wild card. Why did they need any more friendships forming?

Noticing his look, Retsu explained. "Yachiru is brave, capable and does not allow anyone to take advantage of her. She has a good relationship with you, her father figure, and I hope that contact with your assistant captain might make Nemu reassess her options. Many people see your assistant captain as a child and treat her accordingly, but we both know that she is as mature as many of the senior officers. Her maturity and good sense will help Nemu."

"What the hell! Me a role model for a Kurotsuchi? Not going to happen. I don't want 11th Division crawling with 12th Division retards seeking friends. I hate having to look at that bunch of freaks. Damn you Atonomatsuri," he said finally identifying the real culprit.

"A friend in need is a friend indeed. Damn me? We've had that conversation where I pointed out it's not possible. Your life was so dull before you began to talk to me. All you ever did was eat, sleep, drink, fight, avoid paperwork and attend those meetings. Admit it. You're rarely bored now," the vulture said in an uncommonly bright voice.

"I'd prefer boredom," Zaraki muttered and then realised he'd spoken aloud.

"Sometimes I feel that way, also, Captain. There have been too many disturbing events, mainly centred on your Division," a commanding voice said behind him.

Turning around, Zaraki saw that the Captain-General had entered the room. That put an end to his hopes of keeping a low profile. Was the guy following him for some reason?

"I've come to enquire about the recovery of the two senior officers and while here I have been given disturbing news. You are expressing concern about the treatment of Assistant Captain Kurotsuchi by her commanding officer," his bright and piercing gaze was turned on Retsu and Zaraki wondered if Yamamoto had overheard their conversation.

Retsu paled slightly, but nodded and with her usual calm manner she said, "I believe she has been the subject of experimentation of a cruel and brutal kind. We are both aware that the Captain likes to experiment on unwilling victims and I do not believe he should be permitted to continue in this manner. May I have your permission to keep her here until she is fully recovered?"

Quietly, Ayasegawa and Yachiru entered the room and stood behind Zaraki, remaining quiet and listening intently.

Yamamoto frowned at them, and appeared ready to order them to leave the room, but then changed his mind. "She may remain until she is recovered. Captain Unohana, you can advise Captain Kurotsuchi that he should be less forceful with his discipline, but it is within his jurisdiction to punish his subordinates as he sees fit," the slightly satirical tone was not lost on Zaraki. He wondered what the hell the old man was getting at. "But your only concern for other Divisions should be for the health and cleanliness of the members. It is my responsibility to direct the Captains." His gaze was fastened on Zaraki as he made the last comment.

Unwilling to break his gaze, Zaraki felt Ayasegawa nudge him gently in the back. His shoulders bunched and he kept his gaze cool and uninterested. "Yeah. Right. So Madarame will recover?" he asked Retsu. "When will he be fit for duty?"

"I won't release him until he is fully recovered this time. The mistake I made previously will not be repeated." Her voice was as set as her expression. She did not seem happy at the subtle talking to issued by Yamamoto and Zaraki understood.

Zaraki nodded, expecting nothing less and smiled, trying to show her some level of understanding. He hated it when the old man lectured him in front of anyone else. He thought he might have also received a reprimand but couldn't work out what it was about. He'd find out later, of that he was sure.

"I think you have other duties that should be occupying your attention, Captain Zaraki," Yamamoto said pointedly.

"Uh, yeah," Zaraki noticed the dismissal. Yachiru jumped onto his back and accompanied by Ayasegawa they walked out of 4th Division toward Yachiru's quarters. As they walked he pondered what might be on the old mans mind.

"What was that about, Captain?"

The question was not unexpected and Zaraki had wondered who would ask it first. Ayasegawa was agitated, possibly due to the injuries suffered by two of his friends.

"What I want to know is why he followed us to 4th Division. He'd already spoken to me earlier," Zaraki reasoned aloud. "It's overkill."

"Don't forget Ken-chan. He was not happy with Clowny. Maybe he wanted to talk to Nemu," Yachiru suggested. Her little hands seemed to be holding his coat tighter than normal.

"Something is stirring in the bowels of the Seireitei," Atonomatsuri observed. "Something has been awakened by the events and shifts, sleepily moving toward the surface, seeking light, power and prey."

"Are you going all prophetic on me, vulture? The Seireitei doesn't have bowels; it's a concept, not a living being," it was best that this sort of crap was stopped before it properly began. If the bird decided to prophecy he was sure he was going to hear more about pain and revenge and all that sort of junk. Next she might start wearing scarves draped around her skull, or wear some weird type of garb beloved by occultists. She was bad enough now and the thought of her becoming any more peculiar was not pleasant.

"It has form, it has space, it's part of the human race," quipped Atonomatsuri and Zaraki groaned.

"You're not making much sense there, Sewage. This place is where the human race goes after it dies the first time. Never did understand all this. Soul Society and the Seireitei are not living things," Zaraki thought, not for the first time, his zanpaku-to was showing evidence of insanity. The lunacy was all on her side, he was fine.

"Of course it lives. It's made of spirit particles, so it lives. And stop calling me Sewage, KZ," squawked the vulture, snippily. "And there is something coming. Aizen did a bad thing before he left. He set something in motion to get all of you distracted. Ask the bald one, oh, that's right you can't. Ask feather man to talk to his zanpaku-to. It will agree with me. A liar is more easily caught than a thief."

Hating to do anything the virulent creature asked he unwillingly asked, "Um, Ayasegawa, you can talk to your zanpaku-to, can't you?" Hell, he hated sounding hesitant. "If you call me KZ once more, I'll send you to 12th Division for experimentation," he told Atonomatsuri who huffed in displeasure.

"Treat me like a friend and I won't call you KZ. Life without a friend is death without a witness," was the surprising reply.

"Treat you like a friend? When have you ever acted like a friend to me? You don't want to be my friend, you've made that clear," Zaraki was prepared to continue arguing with Atonomatsuri, but the voice of his 5th seat broke into his internal debate.

"Yes, Captain. I talk to Fujikujyaku even though he is arrogant and vain. Why do you ask?" Ayasegawa did not seem too comfortable talking about his zanpaku-to and Zaraki had to hide the smile at the description of the character of the zanpaku-to. It suited his 5th seat, but then he paused.

If the character of the zanpaku-to matched the owner did that mean he was like Atonomatsuri, full of bitterness, hatred, dreams of revenge and a desire for hiding the truth? Damn, that couldn't be right. Then he remembered something the vulture had said: the vulture form was not the original form of the zanpaku-to, his naming of her had corrupted her original form and nature. It had been mentioned in her tirade, so maybe she would have been different if he hadn't renamed her. How would she have been different? When he had a chance he would ask her how dissimilar she had been. It was likely that she would complain and accuse, but he was getting used to it. The more she complained, the easier it was to ignore. The disturbing request to treat her like a friend was too peculiar to even consider now.

"Is there something stirring in the Seireitei? Ask you zanpaku-to," he commanded, feeling curious about the possible response.

Almost frowning, but catching himself in time, Ayasegawa closed his eyes and an expression of displeasure crossed his face. "Damned egotistical blade. I hate asking it anything. Yes, Captain. My zanpaku-to says something is happening beneath the surface. He is not happy about it but he won't tell me anything else unless I flatter him and I'm not in the mood."

"Did he give any details?" the question was rapped out. Zaraki wanted more information and he was pretty sure that it would be an irritating process trying to get anything out of Atonomatsuri.

"No." The petulant tone was mirrored by the expression on his face.

"My zanpaku-to says the same thing. Something's coming Ken-chan. Before we talk about it, can we check my room? Please." Yachiru's voice was steady, with an underlying hint of anger.

This was unexpected. Yachiru hardly ever talked about her zanpaku-to and rarely drew it. "You're talking to your zanpaku-to? What's it called?"

"Later, Ken-chan. We have to talk about a few things but not here," her wide gaze made him remember what they were doing.

The vulture chose her times well to disturb him. "Stay outside, Yachiru. We'll check," he instructed her. It would upset her too much if a camera was found in her bedroom.

Ayasegawa and Zaraki quickly checked through the rooms. It wasn't easy with all Yachiru's junk scattered throughout and the pile of boxes which contained the dolls. After tonight they would be gone.

There were cameras in both the living area and the bedroom. The one in the bedroom had a lolly stuck to the lens and it looked like it had been there for many years due to the dust and cobwebs covering it. He made an exclamation as he noticed that the camera would not work anyway as someone had removed a key part of the mechanism. Who would have done that? He showed it to Ayasegawa who nodded. A further search revealed a number of bugs that also appeared to be disabled.

"Nemu admires Yachiru," Ayasegawa said softly. "She told me how much she respects her abilities. I think she might have done this. She also mentioned that her father prizes his privacy. I don't think we need to worry about listening devices or cameras in his house."

Zaraki stroked his chin. Was Nemu really rebelling against her father and her captain? Was there more to the girl than he had suspected? While watching her fight Madarame he had admired her fighting abilities and the speed of her attacks. Her reprimand of her father had pleased him and her demand for a fair fight. Until then he had believed she had no backbone, no will of her own. Nemu was unexpected.

"Retsu wants Yachiru to befriend Nemu," he admitted, slowly, watching his 5th seat for a reaction and was pleased when he received a nod in response.

"At first I thought it was a bad notion but now I agree. How do we ask the assistant captain? She likes to make her own decisions," he replied, his eyes taking on a faraway gaze.

"Tell her about this. Explain that we think Nemu disabled the bugs," it seemed the most logical plan. "Yachiru, come here," he yelled.

A pink blur entered the quarters. "Well?" she said curiously, he eyes darting around the room. It was easy to tell that she was very concerned about the result of the search.

"There were cameras and listening devices," Zaraki began and saw her face crumple. He couldn't believe his assistant captain was going to cry over this. "They've been disabled, long ago," he added hastily.

"I think Nemu disabled them. Has she ever visited you here?" Ayasegawa added.

Yachiru's face returned to normal and then a small smile curved her mouth. "Yes, she has and I think she did. She said something to me once. Something about my quarters being private. I didn't understand what she meant."

"Retsu wants you to befriend Nemu. She said you'd be a good example," the words emerged steadily and Zaraki tried to keep the distaste out of his voice. He still did not like the thought of friends within 12th Division.

"That's easy, Ken-chan. I don't mind," she assured him. "But you have to do something for me."

"Another bribe?" he was disappointed that she seemed to expect some form of recompense.

"No. I'm hungry and I bet you are too. Let's eat," she chirped at him and he felt his shoulders relax as he laughed.

"You're right. We don't need our stomachs making noises when we set up Kurotsuchi later. It's getting on and we should get ready," Zaraki said as he led them to the nearest tea house.

After a quick meal they returned to Yachiru's quarters to retrieve the dolls. They had been jumbled by the move and had to be re-sorted.

"We better check there aren't any doubles and we can carry the dolls loose in the bags. We don't need the boxes, they'll just make more weight and bulk," Zaraki decided.

They each took a third and began to sort through the dolls. The duplicates were all placed together. Once they had sorted through and selected the dolls they needed, Yachiru looked at the identical copies.

"We've got three long moustaches," she said as she placed the dolls together.

"That's because he's not beautiful," Ayasegawa said smugly. "If he were beautiful like me, we wouldn't have any copies."

"Or perhaps people are scared of what would happen to them if the doll was found in their possession," Zaraki pointed out reasonably. He wouldn't want a copy of the doll, it was too freakishly realistic.

"If it's because of beauty, then why do we have two of yours?" Yachiru asked, a mischievous smile crossing her face.

Ayasegawa grabbed both dolls from her incredulously. "One of them is missing my beautiful feathers," he said with determination. "Who would want a less than faultless copy of my perfection?"

"That doesn't explain why we have two," Yachiru said smugly. "We don't have spares for Ken-chan, Baldy, Frosty, Kamikaze, Snowy, Lolly, Captain Fun, Nemu, or the Strawberry."

"But we have three of the Clown Captain," Ayasegawa said, trying to change the subject.

"We have 4. You've still got the one for your gi…ur, friend," Zaraki reminded him. "We'll take all of Kurotsuchi's dolls and leave them in 12th. I don't want them polluting 11h Division. I'm sure the crackpot would like them," he faltered as he said the last, realising it might be true. The man was peculiar and it was hard to predict what he might like.

"What about the chair and coat?" Yachiru asked. "It won't work without them."

"We'll go past my quarters. I've stored them there. Now pick up the bags and let's move. It's late enough so we shouldn't meet anyone."

Fortunately the bags were cloth so did not rustle as they swung from their hands. After retrieving the coat and chair from his quarters, they walked quietly and swiftly toward 12th Division, keeping to the quieter, less frequented streets, or sticking to the rooftops through the populated areas. Yachiru was on his back, but the boxes she carried kept swinging against him. It was uncomfortable but he put up with it, assuring himself that they would not be carried home. It was only a temporary problem. Within 10 minutes they had made their way past the guards, snoozing at their posts.

"I thought his guards would be more alert," Yachiru whispered at her captain. "He's always said that discipline in our division was too lax."

"It's late. It's hard to be on guard at night," Ayasegawa offered his opinion. "Anyway, we haven't heard anything of the traitors since they left."

"That was only a short time ago. It's too early for complacency. Everyone should be vigilant," he couldn't prevent the tone of condemnation from emerging in his voice. That was one of the reasons he was insisting on the training within his Division becoming more rigorous, aside from the fact he wanted a good fight.

"Shhhh," hissed Yachiru. "They might hear you Ken-chan. You never really understood about whispering, did you?"

He smiled. Whispering was for weaklings and he had never really wanted to learn how, but now it would have been useful.

Pausing outside Kurotsuchi's quarters, they waited to se if anyone was stirring. No lights shone through any of the windows. The night was cool which might encourage people to retire to their warm beds. Either way, the chair was becoming cumbersome.

As arranged, Ayasegawa stealthily approached the door and inserted the key. The door swung open with they entered the room quietly.

The sound of snoring drew them into Kurostuchi's presence. The bottle of rum he had taken from Madarame stood half empty and open beside his chair. An empty glass lay on its side next to the bottle and some liquid had spilt on to the floor and the clothes of the man who was sprawled in the chair. Yachiru gasped and then tried to stifle a giggle. Some of the make-up had run on his face and blurred his features, making him look like a caricature of the 12th Division Captain.

The smell of rum reminded Zaraki of his former captain and he scowled. Both men were pariahs and should not have been given positions of power within the Seireitei.

Placing the boxes on the floor, Zaraki was about to haul Kurotsuchi out of his chair and place him in the replica. The thought of handling the creature disgusted him, but Yachiru didn't have the strength and Ayasegawa had previously expressed his thoughts about touching the man. Drawing closer, Zaraki looked at the chair, feeling as if he had seen it before. Finding it difficult to stop his exclamation, Zaraki wondered why he had bothered ordering a replica of the chair used by Yamamoto, for Kurotsuchi was seated in a better replica than the one he'd brought.

"I don't believe it," Ayasegawa said as he glanced between the chair his captain had purchased and the chair underneath Kurotsuchi. Yachiru had snuck behind the man and her eyes lit up as she gestured to her subordinate and superior. The coat that the man was wearing was a copy of the coat worn by the Captain-General and it was obviously worn often, but the number on the back was 0. Did the man think he was a zero, or the head of the Council of 46? Leaning against the wall, Zaraki noticed a stick similar to the one sometimes held by the old man. It was becoming very obvious that the 12th Division Captain had dreams far beyond managing just his Division.

"I wonder," Zaraki said as he saw a stack of boxes at one side of the room. Moving over quietly he opened one to see a doll, a doll made in his image. His two companions came over and looked into the box and then the three exchanged glances. "What the hell is going on?" Zaraki tried to keep his voice quiet.

"Talk later. Let's put the dolls out, now," Ayasegawa said urgently his shoulders shaking, possibly from an attempt to prevent laughter escaping.

As quickly and quietly as they could they arranged the dolls around the captain. He had to replace his replica as the head fell off when he removed it from the box. Locating his copy he used that instead and placed the broken doll in the bag to take with him. There were a few gaps in the ranks of the captains that Kurotsuchi owned, which they were able to fill, but they were returning with more than half the dolls they had brought.

"Make sure you get the positions right," Zaraki said as quietly as he could.

"But I don't go to Captain's meetings, so how would I know?" Ayasegawa complained. "Where do I put the Captain-General?"

"At Kurotsuchi's feet, that's where he wants us to be. Let's use the spare ones of him to fill the vacant positions," Yachiru whispered. "What do I do with the traitor's dolls?"

"Put them with the others," Ayasegawa suggested. "I can't get all of them to stand up. Some of them keep falling over, especially the 11th Division vice captain."

"Do the best you can." They worked in silence for a few minutes rapidly arranging the dolls. The snoring stopped and they froze in place. If Kurotsuchi found them, they had not made up a cover story. A few seconds later, the snoring recommenced, louder than before.

"Let's go," Zaraki ordered, thinking they'd done enough. They collected the things they were going to take with them and left, trying to make certain there was no evidence they had been there. Yachiru clung to his back, and this time he took the boxes from her, sharing them between his 5th seat and himself. He didn't want them bashing into his back the whole way home.

Hauling the chair, Zaraki wondered what he could do with it. He didn't want it as he'd found it uncomfortable to sit on when he'd tried it out. It would be too recognisable to be used as a visitor's chair.

"What should I do with the chair?" he said once they were out of 12th District.

"Give it Long Moustaches as a birthday present," was the suggestion offered by Yachiru. "He might like to have a spare."

"No, that would be a bad idea. Leave it outside his office, as an anonymous gift," Ayasegawa sounded uncertain. "But I think we should destroy it, use it as firewood. It's too distinctive and hiding it would not be easy."

Nodding, Zaraki crushed the woodwork in his hand until he was left with a bundle of broken sticks which he tossed onto a nearby pile of refuse. "There, problem solved. Do you want the dolls, Yachiru?"

"There are some young kids in Soul Society who have no toys. I'll go and visit, give them out. I'll just keep a few," Yachiru said with decision.

"That's nice of you, Assistant Captain" said an impressed Ayasegawa. He did not seem prepared for her to make this offer and he'd actually raised his eyebrows.

Did this mean he was going to spend the rest of the week cultivating a wooden expression so that overuse would not cause those wrinkles he despised? Zaraki decided to buy him that face cream he coveted. It would stop the guy from whining. Yet another unwanted expense. He still hadn't found out how much the screen was going to cost.

"I'm lucky; I had Ken-chan when I was growing up. A lot of kids don't have anyone," was the simple explanation.

"Yeah, not every kid is as lucky as you," Zaraki said satirically. He knew some children ran when they saw him loom into view. That was their problem. "Hey, Ayasegawa, how much is that screen going to cost me? Life's been expensive these last few days."

"Good quality costs, Captain. Once you see the screen you won't even think about the money," was the casual reply.

That didn't sound good. "How much?"

The man named a sum that made Yachiru gurgle, stunned. "That much?" she squeaked.

"You'll like it. It's antique, very rare, and very attractive. It will add another dimension to the office," was the defence offered.

"Another dimension? Is it a time machine?" Zaraki wondered what the man was yabbering about.

"No, it's a very nice screen that you will like. It's too late, I've ordered it and it will be delivered tomorrow. If you don't like it you can give it to me as a gift," was the unsubtle offer.

"I don't give anyone things that cost that amount," Zaraki began to raise his voice.

"Shhh, Ken-chan. We'll work it out tomorrow. It's late and I'm tired," Yachiru advised.

He nodded, knowing that if he lost his temper now it would end badly.

They walked on quietly until they reached 11th Division and then went their separate ways to bed.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

Is Yamamoto stalking Zaraki? That was my immediate reaction when he turned up in 4th Division because his appearance was not in the plan, but as it worked I kept it. It's not easy to imagine Yamamoto as a stalker; Kurotsuchi is much more plausible.

I hope there were a few surprises in this chapter and I hope that you're as excited as I about what happens in the next chapter. (That sounds weird.)

Thanks to snowecat, spedclass, CO Raven, Lunatic Pandora1, Favrite of Chaos, Julie5 (good to see you back), The Bizzard Alchemist, Dakyu (again), Ghost 140, Leelotus1028, lighningstrxu, L-Ishida-Dark, Magus Black, Setsuna the Dragon, Chrosis, stewart92 and Gina Ichimaru's girl for the reviews. I really appreciate your feedback.

Please review.

MS


	31. Pot and Kettle

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Pot and Kettle**

The next morning, a loud, regular hammering on the door forced him into consciousness. His sleep had been peaceful except for some dreams about polishing his zanpaku-to. It seemed important in the dream, but at least no Hollows or pink and black vultures infested his thoughts. If that could be true in his waking world he'd be a lot happier.

He turned on the light and answering the door he saw it was still dark and a messenger from the Captain-General was kneeling at his door. "Yeah. What does he want now?"

"Captain Yamamoto has instructed all Captains to assemble at 1st Division immediately with their adjuncts," the kneeling man told him, not looking at his face.

"It won't be immediately. It takes time do my hair and there's no way I'm appearing at a Captain's meeting like this. He can wait," Zaraki growled feeling reckless.

The man paled slightly. "I'm not sure that's… ur Sir, I think you better get there fast," he said, his voice trembling with fear. "The Captain-General is not in a good mood."

Zaraki grunted and made a face. "Neither am I. I'll get there when I can. Yachiru hates getting up early. You go and wake her. Watch for flying objects." He shut the door firmly, not wanting to hear any more arguments or hints that things were not going well.

As speedily as he could he dressed and managed to place his bells faster than normal, his thoughts providing a distraction from his usual struggle. Opening the door he saw Yachiru and Ayasegawa waiting for him, one yawning widely, her pink tongue showing while the other leant prettily on the wall, his eyes fixed on the door.

"Ken-chan. Ken-chan, it's really early. I don't like getting up this early. I was angry with the person who woke me, but he begged me not to hurt him, so I didn't, much. Do you think the Clo… someone is in trouble? I thought Pretty Boy should come as Baldy is still at 4th Division and the message did say adjuncts," the words rattled out of Yachiru's mouth rapidly as he waited for her to pause for breath.

"We'll find out soon enough," Zaraki told her while nodding at his 5th seat.

Yachiru jumped onto his back and they traversed the still dark streets quickly, speeding toward 1st Division, possibly to find the result of their planning. The early call meant something was happening.

Approaching the door he was amazed when both Yachiru and Ayasegawa were also permitted to enter the Captain-General's office. For a moment he felt like hesitating, thinking that they were discovered, but he noted that most of the other Captains were accompanied by more than one adjunct and the Captain less Divisions were well represented. The message had specified adjuncts so he realised he should not be surprised.

Kneeling in front of the Captain-General was Kurotsuchi. His position spoke of defiance and defeat. The natural arrogance of the man was countered by an aura of fear. Next to Captain Yamamoto was the replica of his chair, the coat and a pile of dolls. His expression was stern and he looked at each of the Captains and their adjuncts piercingly in turn as they took up their positions. Without Kurotsuchi, Zaraki expected to find his side even more deserted than normal, but the room was more crowded than he had seen it. Not for the first time he wondered why all the traitors had come from the odd numbered side and found he was muttering the question under his breath.

"Numbers are important, Zaraki. I've told you that before," said an unwanted voice in his mind. "I could explain the theory behind each number if you wish and it may provide a better understanding," Atonomatsuri offered.

He knew her offer was genuine. She did like to explain inconsequential things, for example the importance of numbers, but if it was anything directly relevant to him or of some importance she kept it to herself; but why was he even thinking about it? She was the way she was and he was stuck with her.

"Later," he said, hoping the offer would make the bird stop clapping her beak.

"And it will be later,' she advised. "These numbers are significant to you, just as the number 11 is essential in understanding you." There was an unexpected note to her voice, one that sounded almost pleading. Was it anything to do with the strange request she'd made earlier, about them becoming friends? Why now?

The last Captain, Ukitake, entered the room with his two unruly 3rd seats and a few other Shinigami from his Division. This time the third seats demeanour was controlled, unlike their normal rowdy behaviour. They glanced at the kneeling Captain and stood quietly behind Captain Ukitake whose face had registered no expression when he surveyed the scene before him. He nodded curtly to Zaraki as he took the position beside him. Zaraki returned the nod and his eyes slid to look at his some time adversary.

Waiting until everyone was quiet and the attention focused on him Captain Yamamoto spoke. "Recently we lost three Captains, one who aspires to sit on the throne of Heaven and his two supporters. Ambition may be encouraged under some conditions, but not here." He paused heavily and looked steadily at Kurotsuchi.

No one seemed to move and even the sound of breathing in the room was muted. A faint sound of birdsong came through the open window as the sun rose above the horizon and the birds greeted the rising sun. "More damned birds. Is there no escaping from the species?" Zaraki thought briefly, but then forgot to follow the thought through as the Captain-General began to speak again.

"When former Captain Ichimaru failed in his duty in executing the ryoka, he was excused as we needed to prepare for the unknown enemy."

Silence again fell and Zaraki knew, with almost complete certainty that Kurotsuchi would be pardoned. The Seireitei were lacking three captains and to lose another while the Arrancar threat existed would be demoralizing.

"I made a mistake in pardoning the man at that time. If he had been prosecuted it is possible that we would not be in this current situation."

There was a collective gasp at the last statement and most Captains cast confused glances at each other. Did that mean that the man kneeling in front of the Captain-General would be punished? Zaraki leaned forward, interested in what would happen next.

"The evidence we've found indicate that the 12th Division Captain aspires to take my position," Captain Yamamoto stated blankly.

The hubbub that rose at his words drowned out any noises made by the dawn chorus of birds. No one seemed able to comprehend what was being said except for Captain Fon whose face was an impassive mask and Retsu. Both women had their eyes firmly fixed on the kneeling man. Zaraki felt glad he was not subject to that dual furious gaze.

Yamamoto continued, "You may wonder why I include more than the Captains in this meeting."

"I do. Subordinates have no place here," Kurotsuchi interjected but became silent at a quick cutting glance from the 1st Division Captain.

"You are not helping your case," was the brief reminder. "This is because this affects many of you. It has been brought to my attention that someone has placed listening devices and cameras in many private quarters and offices. Captain Fon came to me this morning and showed me incontrovertible proof of these charges. A quick sweep revealed that only seated officers have been 'blessed' with these devices. That is why you were encouraged to attend."

This announcement made the room erupt. Zaraki had never heard such a clamour in one of these meetings before, but he understood. Privacy for Captains was important as they lived such a public life. They had believed that their quarters were a haven where they could relax and forget their responsibilities and that illusion was now shattered.

"Those aren't mine," Kurotsuchi protested feebly his eyes not straying above ankle level.

The Captain-General banged his stick loudly on the floor and the noise slowly died away.

"Sir, would you kindly tell us what you mean about your position?" Captain Ukitake asked with his normal quiet deference.

"The situation is this. Captain Fon visited me early this morning to report that she had found a listening device and camera in her quarters. She accused the 12th Division of placing these items and urged that we visit the Captain. When we entered his quarters Kurotsuchi was asleep, seated in this copy of my chair, wearing this coat and surrounded by dolls made in the images of Shinigami as if he were holding a Captain's meeting. We have not yet found any evidence that the Captain is responsible for the other matter," was the explanation given.

"I didn't plant to bugs or cameras and those things aren't mine. I was set up. None of these items are mine. I told you this earlier," Kurotsuchi squealed. 'It was Zaraki who did this."

"Why are you accusing Captain Zaraki of this? Is this a ruse by you to blacken his name? I listened to your allegations against him only a few days ago." was Kuchiki's cool question as he delicately raised an eyebrow. Moving toward the objects he picked up a doll and asked, "Sir, may I?" The Captain General nodded and the man began to examine the items closely.

"That's peculiar. You came and raved at me a good hour yesterday telling me that he'd lost the plot, Mayuri. You said he should be executed or demoted and what was the other thing? Oh yeah, you wanted to do tests on him, like you did on the Quincy's." Captain Kyoraku said lazily. "Nanao got annoyed with you and told you to leave, didn't you dear, sweet Nanao?"

As the other captain spoke, the 6th Division Captain continued his scrutiny of the objects displayed. He even picked up the chair and examined the legs. The coat he unfolded and shook out, then searched the pockets, quickly glancing at the items within. An angry frown crossed his face when he saw the doll made in his image, but the frown vanished quickly. "The chair is well used, you can tell from the scratches on the woodwork and the seat is worn smooth by someone sitting on it regularly. The coat has been worn many times and there are items in the pockets that clearly belong to you, Captain Kurotsuchi. I believe this is your make-up? Finally, some of the dolls have been damaged, subtly, but it surprises me that Captain Zaraki's doll is intact. I would have expected it to display the most damage."

"Blast. I should have thought of that. Replacing my doll was a mistake," Zaraki thought briefly, but kept his mouth shut and his face expressionless.

"They're not mine. None of it belongs to me," Kurotsuchi protested again nearly hysterical at the accusations. "The 11th Division Captain hates me and is trying to discredit me. He's trying to frame me."

"But they are yours, Mayuri," a faint voice came from behind Retsu. She moved aside and Nemu was revealed, bandaged, obviously still badly injured, but she stood there bravely, looking at her father. Isane and Iemura were standing on either side, supporting her in her obviously weakened state. "I didn't know you had collected so many dolls, but you showed me the chair and the coat and then made me kneel at your feet and call you Captain-General and Lord. Every day you tell me how much you hate Captain Zaraki and want him dead."

"You're lying," the man gasped. "You are speaking falsehoods."

"I cannot lie in your presence, remember father? You made certain of that," Nemu tried to stand straight, but wobbled slightly.

"Let the woman sit," Yamamoto ordered, "or she will fall."

Iemura and Isane assisted Nemu is kneeling on the floor, and remained close beside her.

While this was happening Kurotsuchi raved, "You'd betray me, Nemu? You'd betray your own father for an insane brute who has no thought in his head except killing? I should have disposed of you after the ryoka left," Kurotsuchi made to rise to his feet and attack his daughter but he found Soi standing on one side, while Ayasegawa was on his other, holding him down by the shoulders. Both were flanked by other adjuncts and captains who gazed at the kneeling man, contempt clear in their faces. "Let me go," he said struggling against the restraining hands.

"I think you've already punished her enough," Retsu said quietly, but the steel in her voice made the man recoil.

"You're talking rubbish," he mumbled. "It's a father's duty to teach his daughter decorum and correct behaviour."

"Ken-chan never beats me, or hurts me," Yachiru said glaring at the man. "He tells me when I'm wrong and stops me eating sweets but he doesn't punch me or cut me."

The 12th Division Captain giggled. The sound disgusted Zaraki who found his lip was curling involuntarily.

"You expect the people here to believe that?" Kurotsuchi continued to giggle as he spoke. "The vicious Captain doesn't hurt you? How foolish do you think we are?"

"I have never seen any mark on the assistant captain that was caused by Captain Zaraki," Ayasegawa protested. "I've seen many bruises and cuts on Nemu that you caused."

"Assistant Captain Kusajiki has never shown any sign of damage when she had visited me, and she visits me often," Retsu said her voice frigid. "The only times I've managed to examine your daughter has revealed many wounds and bruises and she has always refused to tell me who caused them. It's not possible they were all caused by training."

"So, you have been fraternising with the enemy have you daughter? I knew you were a useless piece of flesh, just like all women. I tried to create you lacking emotion but then I made you a female. That was my mistake. How can you create a logical female, a female who thinks before she feels? Pah. I should have known better. How long have you been planning to turn her against me, Zaraki?" Kurotsuchi tried to get to his feet again, struggling against the restraining hands. "How dare you lay hands on a superior officer? Get off me, vermin," he screamed at Ayasegawa, a trace of hysteria in his voice.

"Worried about his touch are you. It's okay, I'll take over from you," Captain Kyoraku told the 11th Division 5th seat who happily moved back to his Captain. The Captain smiled at the accused man, but this time the smile contained no mirth, only an unpleasant promise. "You know, I don't like your attitude to women," the 8th Division Captain said conversationally to Kurotsuchi and he placed his hand heavily on his shoulder. "I think you've hurt Nanao's feelings and I can't allow that. Captain Fon seems unhappy at your comments too. Maybe you should just shut up. Getting the women of the Seireitei annoyed with you isn't wise."

Captain Yamamoto cleared his throat and all attention became focused on him. "You have made some serious allegations, Captain. Unfortunately for you, there is no supporting evidence," he said only to be interrupted.

"There is supporting evidence, against him," Captain Kuchiki said smoothly.

"I was drugged. That's it! I was drugged by Zaraki," Kurotsuchi exclaimed. "That's why I was still asleep in the chair." He looked triumphantly at the Captain-General.

"How did the Captain drug you?" said a voice that until now had been silent. Captain Komamura seemed confused. "Did he give you something? Force some liquid down your throat? Inject a potion into your veins?"

"It must have been in the rum I took from his third seat," Kurotsuchi explained and then realising what he said his face went ashen. He gulped nervously and shot a guilty look at the Captain-General.

"You just lost me," Soi said. She applied more pressure to the Captain's shoulder. "Make sense or you will annoy me. People who irritate me often end up dead."

"I can't say your explanation makes much sense to me either," a frowning Captain Ukitake followed. He rubbed his forehead gently as he gazed curiously at the kneeling captain. "Ikkaku Madarame had a bottle of rum?"

"It was a present from Ken-chan because he felt bad," Yachiru chirruped brightly and smiled at her Captain. "He doesn't like rum and thought that Baldy might like it after he got hurt." She patted Zaraki and then removed a small bag of Konpeito from her pocket. She opened it, offered it to Zaraki and Ayasegawa who both declined, and selected one of the sweets which she began to suck. Her smile reassured the 11th Division Captain as it often did. It was partially true; he did feel bad about injuring Madarame.

"The Captain may have many faults but I don't think he's in the habit of drugging his subordinates," Captain Kuchiki said thoughtfully. "Unless it was to ensure that he had a sound sleep so he could begin to recover from the wounds. And you took this rum from the man? Your story grows more incriminating every time you open your mouth, Mayuri." He tapped his fingers thoughtfully on his chin as he looked from Zaraki to Kurotsuchi, observing them both closely.

Until now Zaraki had felt a coldness creep through him. The rum had been drugged, it was true and any tests would show it, but the reason presented as to why it might be drugged seemed credible. If he kept his mouth shut, the Clown Captain might expand the hole he had already dug.

"He's digging a nice deep grave for himself, isn't he Kenny? The more he protests, the more it sounds like he's guilty. The less you deny the accusations, makes it appear you're innocent. I never thought I'd say this, but that's clever Kenny," Atonomatsuri seemed cheered by the way things were going. "When we get home, will you finally polish me? This should be over soon."

"Don't know about that," Zaraki said to the bird. "He hasn't finished yet. I'm sure he's got something else he wants to say."

"Can we get on with this?" Captain Hitsugaya said, his face twisted into a heavy frown. "Matsumoto, stop leaning on me. I know you don't like standing for long periods of time, but you could lean on a wall," he hissed loudly at his subordinate. She pouted prettily and stood up straight, but not before all eyes were drawn toward her. She waved her fingers at her friends airily but after another scathing glance and hissed comment from her captain she dropped her hand and lowered her eyes.

His eyes fixed on the 10th Division assistant captain and obviously distracted Kurotsuchi made his most damning admission, "But the recordings, the pictures I've got on record of that man talking in his office to his subor…..." Kurotsuchi faltered as he heard what he'd said.

"Despite your earlier denial, that is an admission that the bugs are yours. You have been observing private conversations and encounters, without permission. I question your ethics," Soi's cheekbones were flushed and her eyes glittered dangerously as her hands tightened on the man's shoulders, her nails pressing deeply into the material. "How long have they been in place? How many private moments have you monitored? What sort of sick individual are you? Is that the method in which you find pleasure?"

The 10th Division assistant captain was looking at the 12th Division Captain with loathing as were all the other females in the room, except for Nemu who was looking more unwell by the moment.

"You've done it now. I warned you not to upset the women of the Seireitei and you have. I don't envy you if they get their hands on you," Captain Kyoraku said leaning heavily on Kurotsuchi who was beginning to bend under the weight being pressed onto him.

Nemu's collapse distracted attention for the moment. Blood from the reopened wound in her chest stained the floor on which she knelt and Iemura and Isane were trying to hold the drooping form upright. Her eyes were closed and her fast breathing and milk white complexion made Retsu exclaim as she quickly went to her patient, endeavouring the close the cut, assisted by Isane and Iemura. A few minutes work and the wound was again closed.

"I knew she was too weak to attend this meeting, but she insisted. If you had not commanded her to be here this would not have happened, Sir. I need to take her back to 4th Division, now. She needs rest and I'm sure the turmoil of this meeting has contributed to re-opening her injury," Retsu said, her face showing evidence of her distress.

"You may escort the assistant captain there, if you must, but you and your adjuncts must return," Captain Yamamoto informed her.

"I'm being found guilty without a fair hearing of the evidence in front of a group of questionable authority," Captain Kurotsuchi said, obviously uninterested in the fate of his daughter. "I demand that I am given proper representation. You can't find me guilty of anything. The Council of 46 no longer exists."

"I am the Council!' Captain Yamamoto said forcefully as he turned on the man. "You forget yourself." With an obvious effort he controlled his anger and addressed the people gathered there. "We will break now, for half an hour and after that we will convene a formal hearing. This hearing will investigate whether the Captain did plant the bugs and if he is harbouring treasonous plans. As this will take some time you will be permitted to sit. I will take the role of judge and this hearing will be without a jury but in front of the people he has affronted. Captain Kuchiki, you will act for the defence."

"I have had no time to prepare a case," the captain protested with dignity. "I believe I would better serve in the role of prosecutor."

"Do you, indeed? No, you will act as the defence. Captain Ukitake, you will act as prosecution," decreed the Captain-General.

"I humbly request that role," Captain Fon said compellingly.

"You may assist, if you wish," the relief in Captain Ukitake's voice was clear and he smiled at the 2nd Division Commander who nodded in response.

This made Zaraki feel rather positive about the outcome. Soi was very protective of her privacy and she had already told him that she did not like Kurotsuchi. She would use anything she could discover to have a guilty verdict returned.

"Yes, you will assist," the Old Man agreed. "Captain Hitsugaya you will support Captain Kuchiki."

"Who? Me?" the boy's face showed evidence of his disbelief.

"You seem the least affected and involved of all here," was the explanation given.

"I will not permit either Ikkaku Madarame or Nemu Kurotsuchi to participate today and you will need their testimony. It would be better to reconvene tomorrow when they will be able to attend. If you insist I will administer a restorative that will unfortunately make then sleep," Retsu said, her eyes fierce as she ignored Nemu's blood that now discoloured the fabric of her coat.

All through this Zaraki began to wonder. Would his involvement be uncovered through this process? What would happen if it did? What had he really done?

Captain Yamamoto nodded slowly at Retsu and then spoke again. "Captain Zaraki, you will be called as a witness. We will need Assistant Captain Kurotsuchi and 3rd seat Ikkaku Madarame to provide evidence. In view of their injuries, we will delay the proceedings until tomorrow. That should give you some time to prepare your cases. Captains Kuchiki and Hitsugaya, you and your adjuncts will escort the accused to the 1st Division cells where you can commence working with him on his defence."

Retsu and the 4th Division adjuncts left quickly, carrying their patient to her bed. Loud discussion broke out.

"Do I have to spend time in the company of that creep?" the 10th Division Assistant Captain asked her Captain, in a sudden lull and her voice was obviously louder than she intended.

"Don't worry, Ran. I'll protect you," Renji told her as a small smile crossed his face.

"How do you know you're not the creep?" she replied, her expression indicating she was not happy about the situation.

"Matsumoto, remember where you are. You have to spend time assisting the Captain in preparing his defence," Captain Hitsugaya said sternly. "Come, we must remove the accused so we may commence work as soon as possible."

The two captains assisted Kurotsuchi to his feet. Before he could be removed he turned and cast a look of loathing at Zaraki. "The truth will come out. You will be discredited and executed, cur."

"Don't speak to the witness," Captain Kuchiki ordered him. Holding him firmly by the arm he removed the man with the assistance of Captain Hitsugaya who seemed unwilling to touch him. Their subordinates trailed after them, none of them looking very happy.

Zaraki, Yachiru and Ayasegawa left the room shortly after.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Atonomatsuri told him as they walked. She had been muttering at the back of his mind but he had blocked out her comments. "The two cold captains are clever and will give a good defence. Your friend, the fiery woman really hates the Clown Captain, doesn't she? I think she hates him even more than you do, hard though that is to believe. Robert Louis Stevenson was right. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish enmities or grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy."

"Why don't you follow the advice about bearing grudges? Or even better, we could avoid each other. How do I avoid you?" Zaraki said quickly, "Yeah, of course Soi hates the guy, she has good taste. If there's any way to get that guy into more trouble, she'll find it."

"But the man is slippery. Look how he managed to get released from that prison because of Urahara. Every time, in the past, when he has almost come to grief, he manages to find a loophole. It is error only, and not truth, that shrinks from inquiry," the vulture said reflectively.

"What the hell does that adage mean? Loophole? With those four they'll make certain there is no loophole. Kuchiki is meticulous and Ukitake will not allow any thing to pass his notice," the more he thought about it, the better pleased he was at the choices made by the Old Man.

"What are we going to do now, Ken-chan? Do you think we should visit Baldy and let him know what's going on? Pretty Boy, will Ken-chan's office be ready today? I want to see the screen and have you got me a new chair? I hope it's comfortable," Yachiru interrupted the unheard conversation.

"Yeah, maybe we should visit Madarame and you could have a chat with Nemu, see if she's feeling better," he replied.

"I talked to her last time. I told her she was old enough to make her own decisions. Can we buy her some flowers? And maybe some for Baldy. I'd like to give him some flowers, pink ones, because it would make him swear. He's funny when he swears in hospital," Yachiru smiled as she thought of the third seat. "I hope he gets better soon."

"So do I, Assistant Captain," Ayasegawa agreed as they walked toward their destination. "He'll want to know the news, but I don't think we should buy him flowers. They make him look less beautiful than normal."

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Author's Note:

Things are getting serious, and intricate. I can hardly wait to start on the next chapter, but it has to wait.

Can Kurotsuchi get out of this, I wonder? Okay, I know, but you'll have to wait to find out what happens next.

Thank you to all the kind readers for the reviews.

Please review.

MS


	32. Promise Honoured

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

Slight spoiler alert.

**Promise Honoured**

After all the activity of the last few days and the events of the morning, Zaraki wanted to be away from people, even people he liked. 4th Division was noisy and the many voices began to grate on his nerves. A few times he had to stop his instinctive need to throttle the next person whose voice pierced his skull, or swept past him too closely. If he was honest, throttling an annoyance was too tame; he wanted to slice them, slash them till their flesh hung off in strips. Jerks should keep their distance. Thinking about jerks, he wondered if Piecrust had managed to find more trouble. He'd find out soon enough.

Madarame was sleeping and in good hands; there was no reason for him to hang around watching the guy. That would be as much fun as cleaning out his ears or watching someone try cut off their hand with a plastic ruler.

"I'll see you later," he told Ayasegawa and Yachiru. "Go visit Nemu, see if she's okay and, Yachiru, you eat Retsu's supply of sweets."

"Where are you going Ken-chan? I wanted you to train me today," Yachiru's mouth turned downward as she looked at him.

"Not today," he said more gruffly than he intended. "I'm tired. I want to get ready for whatever happens tomorrow," he explained, providing the first explanation his brain provided. It was true but there was something else he needed to do.

Getting away from everyone was paramount. His instinctive need for violence was stronger than ever, probably due to the things that had been happening, but now he had to remain inconspicuous. If he erupted and gave into his need for carnage, it might appear that he was nervous. After arriving back in his quarters he picked up the sword polish and cloth and then went and sat in the shade of a tree in a place he knew was rarely visited. Most Shinigami had a strange superstition about the place and avoided it. There were mutterings of strange sights and talk of the Captain's who had perished there over 100 years ago. Whether they had really perished or turned part Hollow had been hotly disputed, but most judged it to be an unlucky place, acting like the ground had been contaminated by the events. That was Ancient History and had no relevance to anyone today. He didn't give a damn about anything that happened long ago and no one was stupid enough to disturb him there. In his current frame of mind, any person brainless enough to try would be reduced to a headless torso in quick order.

He had not thought of using the place when he first wished to speak to Atonomatsuri because it was in the open and he hadn't wished anyone to see what he was doing, but now he wanted to be outside. "I'm only doing this because you'll snipe at me if I don't," he told Atonomatsuri as he began to polish his zanpaku-to. "If you make any noise at all, I'll stop," he said quickly. He could imagine the sorts of embarrassing sounds the pesky bird might make if she thought it would irritate him. Even though he would be the only person to hear the sounds, his lip curled and a look of distaste crossed his face. The bird was liable to do anything to annoy him, given the chance.

"Thank you," she said in a tone of relief and after a long pause, "Thank you, Zaraki." The response pleased him as he cleaned the blade. He took some time over the task, removing the older stains, smoothing some of the rough edges and eventually, cleaning the pommel. He then placed the blade across his knees and looked at it. The cutting edge was still jagged, but why change it? It looked a little different, better in some ways and unfamiliar in others and that made him keep looking at it in an effort to make it familiar once more. Of course he'd always wiped the blood and other ichor off the thing each time he'd stopped fighting, but it was usually only a cursory wipe on whatever was handy. Now all the reminders of the old victories and one defeat were removed and the zanpaku-to was no longer weighed down by the past and correspondingly he felt a little lighter. The past was there, but the present and future were important as well.

While he sat there he realised that some of the tension that had been building within him was ebbing. The overwhelming urge to slice into someone, anyone, was fading. Atonomatsuri had not spoken and made this respite into yet another Zaraki baiting session. Remembering their last conversation he recalled that she had almost seemed keen to foster his friendship. Why now, after the time she had spent sniping and insulting him? Was it because the matters with Kurotsuchi would be resolved, or was there something deeper? It was hard to tell with the feathered firebrand because she could mean anything. For once he wasn't keen to find out as he was still trying to accept her more recent revelation.

"Talk to me Zaraki," was the quiet request from the vulture. Her tone was more appealing than normal, nearly sweet and restful. Was this even the same spirit? Or was she trying to fool him?

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked laconically. It didn't seem to matter that she was talking. At least she was calling him Zaraki and not adding any insulting terms. This time her voice did not make him feel like stabbing himself in the eyes or eviscerating the next person who walked past.

"I think we need to talk about what might happen. The Clown Captain will fight back, at least in words. He will blame you and some of the accusations will be true," Atonomatsuri was speaking slowly and quietly.

Propping his back against the tree, he nodded. He knew; it was obvious that tomorrow would not be easy. Resting in a place that few people knew he frequented was one method to prevent any of those difficult questions from those who were defending or prosecuting the man. Even so, it would not prevent the questions from being asked during the hearing and he didn't know how he could answer without incriminating himself.

"The man is guilty, but you are not innocent. No one would suspect you of being devious, but you did ask Soi Fon for help. Retsu supplied the drug. Your subordinates helped you. There are too many witnesses to the events. If any of them are called and asked to answer questions, your part in this will be revealed," Atonomatsuri continued, weight bearing on her words. She sighed in his mind and he found he was sighing with her.

Inevitably his mind indicated that he would not be in this predicament if he hadn't tried to talk to his zanpaku-to in the first place, but thinking like that was futile. It solved no problems, only increased his bitterness and urge to rail against fate. "Okay, Atonomatsuri. What should I do?"

As soon as he uttered her name the scene shifted. This time he was paying attention as the landscape in front of him blurred and the vista of his mind lay before him. In the days that had passed since he had been drawn into his mind, much had changed. Disgusted, he gagged at the sight of a meadow of brightly coloured flowers that appeared around him, complete with butterflies and buzzing insects. That had no place in his mind! Greenery and pretty things were wrong. He'd prefer Hollows, or the blasted landscape that had previously been his mind.

Getting to his feet, to get out of the unwelcome garden, he batted at a bee that seemed to wish to rest on his hair. "Great; insects in my mind. What's with the scenery," he asked the bird that appeared before him and then he stopped, stunned. The vulture had grown in size by at least a third. She continued to phase but now the she was fully healthy in one phase and a fleshless skeleton in the other, her skull clearly defined, looked more human than avian. For some reason this change made him stop for a moment. This was more like a zanpaku-to spirit! The skeletal form promised to embody the fear that he wished to engender. The loss of the maggots definitely met with his approval as he preferred the clean red of flowing blood from a foe, rather than the wriggling appearance of the harbingers of plague and disease. The colour and flow of blood was pure, marking the creation of life, or the departure. Being reminded of what occurred to the body after death didn't interest him. It recalled too much of his slowly recovering memories. "You're different," he said, finally noticing that the vulture seemed to require some comment.

"So are you, Zaraki. Anything that remains static long enough will decay. Once motion is restored new life can flourish. When we show our respect for other living things, they respond with respect for us," Atonomatsuri said as she tilted her head to look Zaraki full in the face. Her eyes while still disconcertingly as clock faces, now glowed with renewed vigour. The one which had been broken now moved slowly."

"And you still can't talk without the bloody adages," Zaraki said, his original peace shattered by the borrowed words.

"I was merely trying to explain everything simply to match your low intelligence, Kenny," Atonomatsuri sniped back.

"It explained nothing, freak. What's with the flora?"

"Your mind awakens and blossoms. I thought the addition of some plants might allow more creativity, but I can sense you do not appreciate my motives," was the measured response.

"I thought it was my mind! Why the hell are you doing anything to it?" Yet again something she had told him seemed to be proven false and it irked him that she obviously felt that she could take any action she wished.

"As your partner, I do have some input and remember: your mind trusts me more than you. I had to do something to heal the damage done by your inability to deal with the fact that you are a former Hollow. The flowers calmed the ructions and allowed you to survive the revelation," was the smug reply.

Rage boiled within him and he shut his mouth with a snap as his hands instinctively reached out to rend the aggravating spirit in twain. Noticing the danger, the bird backed away quickly, watching him cautiously as he stumbled forward, almost tripping on the large teddy bear that lay in his path. The sight of the bear only enraged him further and he moved past it, preparing to end the whole stupid charade.

"You're reacting, not thinking, Zaraki. You're acting more like a Hollow than a Shinigami," quavered the bird, not sounding too frightened.

"So?"

"Don't you want to know the reason I brought you here?"

"No."

"It's important. You might like it," the bird was still backing away, much faster. "It will increase your strength."

The implied promise made Zaraki stop. That was how this whole bloody mess had started, because he wanted to become stronger, and now, finally there might be a point to all the things he had been forced to undergo.

"Talk," he ordered the bird. He didn't really expect that she would help, but he wasn't going to let any opportunity pass. Even though everyone told him he was stupid, he wasn't that dumb. Ceaseless prattle about unimportant things didn't interest him. He only wanted to talk about important matters, but had been forced to concentrate on minor matters since Atonomatsuri had interrupted his life.

"The pine stays green in winter...Wisdom in hardship. So you're learning a little wisdom, Kenny. Good," she stopped backing away as he had ceased to move forward and her gaze was stern and excited.

"I said talk and I meant about increasing my strength, not your stupid adages," he growled knowing that she would eventually tell him something. It was the 'eventually' that irked each time and that too often the information was either useless or irrelevant.

Silence lengthened between them. Zaraki didn't say anything because whatever he said to her might only provoke another verbal attack. They stared at each other, each unwilling to look away as if they were participating in some absurd form of competition. After some time, Atonomatsuri blinked. Even though he had technically won he didn't feel any sense of victory. No matter how small the advantage she would not let it remain for long.

"I'm going to train you to use me in my other form," was the sop finally offered and it startled Zaraki.

"What? What the hell? Why now?" he demanded his mind trying to work out any possible motive for the unusual offer. Was she really trying to become friends with him as she had stated earlier?

"You will need to be at your best tomorrow. I fear that there may be a decision made that could make you vulnerable."

The reluctance with which she offered the information made him wonder further. Sometimes she seemed to know what might happen, but would never tell him anything useful until it was too late. How could he be vulnerable? He'd only been defeated once and his only real area of weakness was his sentimentality. "What do you mean?"

Ignoring his question, she continued to speak, and he wondered if she was talking to him, or not. "I had hoped that your shiny headed underling could help, but you and the slimy creep put an end to that hope. Your friend helped but you need so much more aid. Even training from me might not be enough. It might be too little and without more time it could fail. What should I do?"

Impatient at her blathering, he demanded, "Let's get to it, then. Talking won't make it any easier."

Shaking herself at the sound of his voice she glared at him. "Give me a moment. I'm trying to work out the best way."

Drawing his zanpaku-to he growled, "I'll make this easier. Yawn, Atonomatsuri." As he spoke he focused his reiatsu and the blade changed into the other form, but the more manageable size.

The vulture stared at him, seemingly impressed. "You have learnt some control," she said.

"Yeah. Now, what next?"

"I suppose you have to fight me," was the very unwilling response. Atonomatsuri shifted from foot to foot as she made the suggestion.

It was a day for surprises. The bird had never offered to fight him willingly. The few times he'd fought her she'd mainly tried to escape, fought back unwillingly or given up and allowed him to stab her. Her habit of disappearing and trying to stab him from behind was irritating too, plus when she grabbed the blade of his zanpaku-to it made it nearly impossible to attack her.

"Fight you? I want a challenge, not a paltry scuffle with a scared little tweety bird that cheats," was how he finally answered her offer.

"I don't cheat," the outrage at the accusation was clear and Atonomatsuri puffed up her feathers. As she phased into the skeletal form, the bones glistened and pulsated in a display of rage. It was a strange effect and Zaraki wondered about the method be which she achieved the images, but decided that the argument was more important that any other matter.

"Disappearing and trying to stab me in the back is cheating," the edge of anger roused by her response made his voice harsher.

"You weren't fighting fair. You tried to step on my head," she countered.

"Because you had my blade in your beak," the conversation became more absurd the longer they were talking.

"I think I actually had me in my beak," Atonomatsuri squawked.

Stopping to think about what she said, Zaraki laughed, a short, hard bark of amusement. "You had you in your beak," saying it aloud made him laugh a little more and the expression on the vulture's face added to his amusement. Laughter overcame him and the angrier she became the harder he laughed.

"I was holding myself in my beak," was the next attempt at explanation. The words emerged from her tightly clenched bill which made it difficult to understand, but the sentence still sounded wrong.

Zaraki leant on his zanpaku-to as he laughed even harder. For a bird who prided herself on her intelligence the sentences sounded wrong, and because of that they sounded funny.

"Have you got a degree in semantics, Kenny? I'm trying to explain."

"No and neither do you. Damn, you really mangled that statement. I wish Yachiru could have heard it," he stopped laughing and straightened up.

"But it's true," Atonomatsuri began to sound plaintive.

"It's not important. You want me to fight you. Are there any ground rules, or can I just kill you?"

"I've told you before… Oh what's the use? Attack me; you're going to anyway."

Zaraki ignored her disgruntled tone and lunged at her putting a great amount of force behind his thrust, but she dodged. He had expected that and recovered quickly, escaping the blow from her beak.

Each time he tried to use the new blade he had to compensate for the change in weight, balance and size and keep firm control on his reiatsu. To start with his control slipped regularly and the zanpaku-to began to revert to its original size. Each time he had to strengthen his resolve and make it revert back to the manageable form. Once or twice it took him a little time to remember the way he could focus and the large blade slammed into the ground, once almost through Atonomatsuri's foot.

"Do you really want to hurt me?" the bird whined. "Do you really have to treat me so bad?"

"We're fighting! What do you expect? I polished you didn't I? So stop complaining," Zaraki said. "Was that an adage?

"What does it matter? You don't appreciate my subtlety, or intelligence. Why I'm even trying I don't know," she sniped at him as she tried to gouge her beak into his thigh.

"Neither do I. I always tell you to shut up," Zaraki said as he pushed the blade in front of her face, hearing the grinding crunch as her hard bill met the metal of his zanpaku-to.

The fought on for a few minutes, the silence only punctured by the sound of their movements and breathing. As the time passed, Zaraki noticed that he was better able to remember how to focus his reiatsu while fighting. His control still wavered, but not as much or as often.

"I would advise that you don't try this with your eye patch off for some time," Atonomatsuri panted as she dodged another attack.

"I won't. What opponent would make me want to?" None of the captains would fight him and there were no real challenges. He'd been warned about fighting any of the other Shinigami to the death. The Old Man didn't like casualties or deaths, stating that the toll from Hollow attacks was bad enough. The new threat that would result from the traitor's actions would only make him unhappy. With Madarame and Nemu already in 4th Division, any further injuries might mean he'd end up having to explain, or even worse he might be forced to write a report to explain why. That had to be avoided.

After fighting for some time Atonomatsuri stopped and nodded. "You're not quite where I wish you were, but it will have to do. We will train again today after I have a rest," the vulture yawned, showing its tongue and Zaraki backed away instinctively. "Later, I will start explaining some of my powers. You've already tapped into some of them, but you need to know how to trigger them and the best time to use them. Two more training sessions, Kenny. You'll need them. Now, go home and sleep."

The scenery faded and he found that he was once more in the meadow, sweating and more exhausted than he expected. He stretched, feeling his muscles complain. "Damn, the bird actually gave me a decent workout. She's better than I thought," he mused. "I'll have a bath, soak the muscles then I can sleep."

Wandering in the direction of the bathhouse he noticed the streets were busy. Shinigami looked at him as he walked past, few calling greeting, some nodding, but he noticed that a buzz of conversation followed him. It didn't matter what their problem was. If he could guess, it was probably all related to the meeting this morning and the accusations made against him by the Clown Captain. Whatever, he didn't care. Entering the bathhouse he noticed it was empty which was unusual for this time of day, but he smiled. He wanted to be away from people, not listen to the idle gossip or stupid rumours spread so easily through bathhouse conversations.

As he sat in the hot water he had the chance to think about the birds words. The offer to train him was unexpected; the method of training was different, but effective. Suddenly he sat bolt upright as the import of her words, her plans became clearer. Three training sessions in two days? Before this Atonomatsuri had been reluctant to fight him. Why the urgency?

"Hey, Beak Face," he called in his mind, but there was no answer.

"Even though he was tense the hot water was working on him, relaxing him. Dismissing the disturbing thoughts he leant back and closed his eyes. The steam rising from the water bathed his face, making him sweat, and the heat made his limbs relax.

"Captain. Captain. Quick, we need you," said a familiar voice.

Opening his eyes he saw the worried face of Ayasegawa hovering over the other side of the bath.

"I couldn't find you and someone told me they saw you come in here. We've got a problem, a big one." The 5th seat continued, a frown marring his brow. He offered a cup of water to his captain. "I should have guessed you were here from the snoring I heard."

"Is Madarame okay? Yachiru?" he said, his voice croaking. He coughed and gratefully took the water offered. The angle he'd been sleeping was to blame. He didn't normally snore, or at least not that he knew.

"Yeah, they're fine. It's Piecrust," Ayasegawa said and bit his lip. "I know you don't care about him, but he did something really dumb and the Captain-General wants to see you."

"Blast. What did the twerp do this time? Kissed a nurse? Impaled himself on his zanpaku-to? No, that would be good news."

"He went into the bathhouse."

"I didn't see him here," Zaraki said looking around.

"I don't think he can read Japanese very well. He went into the women's bathhouse." Ayasegawa looked visibly uncomfortable at the admission.

Closing his eyes, Zaraki wondered how much this would cost, not in money but in good will. "Hold on. It's basic. We're all told the locations of the bathhouses and which are for men and women. Everyone can read the basic symbols for men and women!"

Nodding, Ayasegawa said, "I've been trying to think of another reason he did it, but I can't. But that's not the worst."

Sighing as he got out of the bath and began drying himself, Zaraki nodded impatiently at his 5th seat to continue.

"There were some women in the bathhouse, some officers," the 5th seat said very quietly.

"Ah, hell. Tell me the worst," Zaraki said rapidly dressing. He would be held responsible for the actions of the man and this was rapidly getting worse.

"Captain Soi Fon, Assistant Captain Rangiku Matsumoto, and …." Ayasegawa stopped and gulped hard. "Assistant Captain Yachiru Kusajiki and Captain Retsu Unohana."

"All at the same time?" Zaraki asked and then the last two names registered. "I'll kill the bloody fool," he growled as his hand reached for his zanpaku-to. The rage flooding his body demanded blood, lots of it and all from one idiot who couldn't keep a few rules.

"He's lucky he isn't already dead," Ayasegawa said. "He was taken to 1st Division and is being cared for there."

"And now I've got to report to the Old Man? Why were they all there anyway?"

"Captain Fon and Ran were having a break from preparing for the hearing and Yachiru and Retsu were there because Yachiru wanted someone to wash her hair," Ayasegawa explained.

"How angry is Soi, Captain Fon?" Zaraki asked.

"She was nearly dressed as she had only removed her Captain's coat, but she's furious. From now on the women's bathhouse door will be guarded at all times to make sure this doesn't happen again."

Nodding at the sense in that decision, a small smile quirked Zaraki's lips. "So, do we want a guard on our bathhouse?"

"Hey, Captain, some of us might fantasise about a woman entering the bathhouse, but what's the likelihood? I wouldn't mind if any of the female Captains or Assistant Captains walked in while I was bathing," Ayasegawa said reflectively.

"But what made the jerk do it? Why would he do something that could so easily result in his death and dismemberment?" There could be no rational explanation of the action the man took.

Looking at his 5th seat, he noticed that he was blushing slightly. "I think I know where he got the idea," he admitted reluctantly.

Now fully dressed, Zaraki adjusted his eye patch and checked that all the bells were in place. This might turn out more serious than it sounded. Speaking harshly he ordered, "Then tell me, blast you. Stop hinting and drooping like a lovesick girl,"

The man shook his head.

"Tell me now, or I'll gut you. This is no time to keep secrets," Zaraki was beginning to lose his temper, something he rarely did with his friends.

Swallowing hard, the man opened his mouth, then paused and bit his lip hard, "It happened before you became friends with Captain Fon."

"How do you know we're friends? I hardly know the woman!"

"You were seen having tea with her and you went to her office carrying something. You know that no action goes unnoticed in this place, well most actions, well maybe yours. I hope they don't find out about…"

"Keep to the subject. What happened?" The man was hedging, almost like he really didn't want to tell Zaraki anything, but it was essential he knew.

"I didn't know he was there! I was just kidding around with Ikkaku before training; you know how it is when we're joking around. We weren't serious."

"Hmmmm? Get on with it," if he didn't get to the point, he'd get the point, of his zanpaku-to, lodged somewhere painful.

"Ikkaku said that anyone who saw Captain Fon in the nude would be a hero; anyone who saw Ran naked would be living the male Shinigami dream and any one brave enough to go into the female bathhouse would be a legend. Everyone would admire him." The words were spoken very fast and Zaraki had to listen attentively to make certain he didn't miss any of them.

"Why were you talking about it?"

"Ikkaku was being a sadistic creep, going on about how pretty I was, prettier than some of the female Shinigami, so I changed the subject, and talked about women generally. It was a dumb conversation. It didn't mean anything." The words rang true, but why would they talk about the females of the Seireitei so casually? If the Shinigami Women's Association heard about it, he didn't even want to think about the consequences. Finding people to replace Madarame and Ayasegawa would be hard, but he'd make certain that their remains would be given a decent burial. If he worked fast it may not have to come to that.

"Did only Piecrust hear the conversation?"

"No, but the others wouldn't act on a stupid idea. Piecrust arrived as Ikkaku was making the case and I was laughing. You came in soon afterward and we trained. He left it a while before he did anything."

"That could be because he kept ending up in 4th Division. Okay, let's go and talk to Yamamoto. Maybe he'll explain why I have to keep the jerk." They walked out the door and made their way to 1st Division.

_

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Author's Note:

Thanks to Cartoon-pen for the weird suggestion about the plastic ruler. Now, could you leave me alone? Honestly, some people have to have input into everything!

I know you probably expected this chapter to feature the hearing, but there are a few things planned that need to happen. Can I help it if Piecrust wants more attention?

Thank you to Kai Dragoon, spedclass, Ghost 140, lightningstrxu, Stesuna the Dragon, Time to Make It Rain, Lunatic Pandora1, ILB, Gryphalcon, Chrosis, DurielZamoran and GinIchimaru321 for the reviews. I appreciate them.

Please review.

MS


	33. Case Origin

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Case Origin**

"This is a very serious matter. Captain Fon wishes for justice and had expressed her opinion that your subordinate must be punished severely. She's refrained from asking for his execution, as she could if she invokes the statutes, but she has requested that the rest of the punishment outlined for this crime, be enforced," Yamamoto told Zaraki.

He looked at Soi, trying to asses her state of mind. She was angry, he could tell that as her foot was taping impatiently and her arms were folded across her chest. Her eyes were hard as she glared at him. Was the anger aimed at him, or Piecrust, and would the fragile peace they'd fostered be broken by the man's actions?

"I don't care if you execute him. It would be fine with me and I'll even supply the snacks. Or you could move Piecrust to her Division and she can do what she likes with the worthless idiot," was the answer that Zaraki gave. That would solve two problems at once and it was efficient, if she agreed.

Soi laughed, but it did not sound like she was amused. "I do not accept creatures like that in my Division. I have heard about this Yuki person known as 'Piecrust' and would not accept him; would never wish a fool like that to require my time and attention. While I may pity you for having him under your command, Captain Zaraki, I will not take that pathetic being off your hands."

"Damn," Zaraki murmured under his breath. It had been a slim hope that Soi would accept the man.

"He remains in your Division, Captain. I've told you that previously," the Captain-General reminded him. "His wounds will heal, given time. Until he is able to stand, I believe we should not make decisions about the level of his punishment. There will be no execution for this crime. I find your attempt at levity ill timed."

"Look, Soi, Captain Fon, I'm, um, ur, I regr... The man's missing part of his brain and if I'd known what he was planning he would have ended up in a cell in 11th, under full guard and in chains," Zaraki felt very clumsy in his efforts to apologise.

"I'm aware that the man acted without your knowledge, Captain, but that does not excuse his deeds," the cold, hard voice of Soi rang through the room.

This was the worst possible time to have Soi offside and Zaraki knew it. Vainly he searched his mind for something he could say that would appease her, but knew it would be difficult. One fact he kept in mind, was he wanted to deal fairly with her, because that was how to treat a friend. He decided to try something that might work. "I express regret on his behalf. I'll put it in writing, if you want."

Captain Yamamoto laughed unexpectedly. "You're offering to write an apology?" His expression lightened and he looked at Zaraki, the incredulity obvious in his face.

"I didn't say that," Zaraki said hastily. An apology was not on offer here; just an expression of regret that he had such an idiot in his Division. That was what he was planning to write.

A small grin crossed Soi's face. "Would I be able to read it? Your calligraphy is not known for its legibility."

What she said was true. Insects crawling through ink and marking paper had more skill than he did with a brush, but he could do it, given the time and inclination. If he wrote it and Soi couldn't read it she might think it was an apology, when it wasn't. Relaxing slightly at the tiny easing in the atmosphere, Zaraki allowed himself a small smile. "I'll write it out and I'll get the jerk to write out a hundred times anything you deem fit, if you want. You might have to wait a few weeks until he recovers. If you can't read what I write, does it matter? You can decide any level of retribution for the guy and I'll see it happens."

"I'll consult with Captain Unohana, Assistant Captain Matsumoto and your Assistant Captain. I am not the only one disturbed by his actions," Soi said thoughtfully. "I would prefer the retribution to fit the crime."

An image of Piecrust naked and in the stocks crossed Zaraki's mind and he pulled a face. That was something he didn't want to see.

"Maybe he could be displayed in the buff at a Shinigami Women's Association meeting. That would be fair," Zaraki offered hopefully. That way he wouldn't have to look and it was equivalent exchange; that was what mattered, wasn't it? "You could throw things at him."

"Why would we want to view that? I have already seen it and it's of no interest to me, drunk or sober," Retsu stated as she entered the room. She retained her normal composure but two bright spots of colour showed in her cheeks, betraying her anger. "That creature is never to set foot in 4th Division again. I am considering withdrawing any assistance from 4th Division to 11th Division after this event. I've saved his sight, barely, though I found it hard to concentrate with the stench of alcohol wafting from the man. I did not appreciate his attempts to touch me as I tried to heal him," as she spoke, her eyes fixed on the Captain-General and Zaraki began to worry.

"Retsu, we need you and 4th Division! Hell, I'll try to make it up to you. I mean he didn't see….." Zaraki said. He only knew that Soi had been wearing her uniform. He didn't know whether the other women were clothed or undressed.

Ignoring his words, Retsu looked at him sharply. "Yachiru is not happy with the man. I am amazed at the speed of your assistant captain, Captain Zaraki. She replaced her sandals and was attacking the intruder before I could even move. Her blade just missed his eyes; otherwise he would now be blind and his reflexes were very slow. She cut his torso considerably," Retsu's face flushed as she spoke, her eyes sparkled with anger and she was leaning forward as if determined to make her point.

Zaraki admired the heightened colour in her cheeks and the glint in her eyes. It was strange, until he had got to know the woman, she'd always seemed very calm and even tempered, but since knowing him, he'd managed to annoy her on a number of occasions. Was it him or was it other people that made this happen? Well, some of it had been him, that was true, but he wasn't responsible for all the problems; only most of them. Kurotsuchi was responsible for some of the problems, so why did he feel that he should apologise? Forget that! There was no possible way that anyone could make him say he was sorry for all the things that happened. That near attempt to apologise to Soi had been excruciating and he wasn't planning to repeat the experience any time soon.

"Assistant Captain Matsumoto managed to prevent your Assistant Captain from dealing the killing blow. He's lucky to be alive," Soi continued.

This was sounding even worse. He knew Yachiru had no particular fondness for Piecrust, but her attempt to kill the man sounded excessive. The man must have said or done something to anger her.

"I was impressed how Assistant Captain Matsumoto managed to control her reaction to his comments regarding her, um, outstanding attributes and bravely protected him from Yachiru, though she did kick him in the groin afterwards," Retsu commented.

Zaraki and the Captain Yamamoto exchanged worried glances. Retsu seemed to be taking an inordinate amount of pleasure in relaying the last piece of information.

"Three times and she didn't restrain herself," Soi added and a sadistic smile passed between the two female Captains.

Both Zaraki and the Captain-General winced at the information. Ran had strong legs and the imagined pain was nearly crippling. Swallowing hard, he wondered if that was the worst injury inflicted.

"Even his heavy consumption of drink could prevent him from feeling that assault," Retsu said complacently. Soi nodded in agreement and they both turned to the male captains.

Zaraki shuddered, imagining how painful it would have been. The Captain-General shifted uncomfortably in his chair and almost crossed him legs, but looking at the three captains in front of him desisted and instead he rested his hands heavily on his legs in a defensive posture.

"I arrested him once the Assistant Captains had, ur, disabled him. It was hard to prevent his blood from staining my coat. When he could finally hear me speaking to him, he told me I was the most beautiful woman in the world, cried and then threw up," Soi continued, her lip curling slightly at the memory.

"Disabled? I like that. He might be permanently disabled after those well place strikes. It will take days for the swelling to go down. Ran has an unerring sense where to kick to cause the most damage. He was squealing and thrashing around, clutching himself. I wish I'd had a camera," Retsu said the smile on her face widening.

Wishing he could sit or move his hands into a protective position without it being obvious he shifted his stance a little. It would make him feel better if Soi and Retsu would stop dwelling on Piecrust's 'injuries'. Wondering at the enjoyment they seemed to be experiencing it struck him that they seemed amused and pleased that the man had been punished in that manner. Maybe they believed he'd been chastised enough, but that didn't seem probable. Zaraki was rapidly becoming very confused. What had really happened? What had the man seen, done and said? He noticed that Captain Yamamoto appeared to have trouble understanding what was going on also. The two female captains were continuing to bandy comments about Piecrust, but Zaraki tuned them out. Listening to them was too unnerving.

"I thought you were registering a grievance," the Captain-General said finally, his normal composure shaken by what he had heard.

"We are, but the main harm was done to Rangiku and Yachiru. Rangiku had nearly removed her shirt and Yachiru had taken off her sandals, socks, armband and sash. The poor girl is very sensitive about people seeing her bare feet. That fool Piecrust, expressed his disappointment that he'd arrived a few seconds too early to see, what were the words? Oh yes, 'the red haired babe's rack'. He encouraged Rangiku to take off her shirt, made a rather personal comment about her breasts, which I see no point in repeating, and then leered at Yachiru and told her he would wait until she was grown up. 'Little girls should watch and learn' he told her," Retsu said. Her normally quiet voice became louder as she retold the events. It was easy to see that his words had infuriated the 4th Division Captain and not only for her own sake, but her compassionate nature made her feel for those who were targeted by the dim wit.

Even so, a feeling of relief ran through his veins, mixed with anger. Yachiru was unharmed, as were the other females and it could have been so much worse. All the same, the man had proven his stupidity again.

"The fact that he didn't see anything does not excuse the man," Zaraki said through tight lips. "Even if he was drunk, as I believe Captain Unohana has inferred."

Retsu nodded in agreement. "If he hadn't rid himself of the contents of his stomach in the bathhouse, shortly after he was felled by Assistant Captain Matsumoto, I believe would be treating a case of acute alcoholic poisoning. The stench of rum was overpowering."

It made a little more sense that the man was under the influence when he marched into the bathhouse, but no sane male Shinigami would do that, no matter how drunk he was. Even if an idiot was determined to do that his friends or drinking companions would normally prevent the invasion. But all indications were that Piecrust had no friends; his actions and behaviour had estranged him and made him a joke amongst the other Shinigami. It might even be possible that members of 11th Division had encouraged him in the rash act. He'd have to investigate. How the man had managed to get so drunk so early in the day? If it was a holiday or special occasion, he might overlook it, but at a time when they had to be vigilant it was a careless and stupid action.

Then it struck him. The man had been drinking rum. Did that mean anything, or was it a coincidence?

Putting that question from his mind, Zaraki remembered some of the punishments that could result from this type of infraction. They were particularly harsh, but he felt no pity for the man. "If I could demote him even further, I would. He'll be on latrine duty and garbage disposal for the next 70 years, in addition to any of the penalties outlined in the law." Even though the crisis was less than he had feared he was still furious. "Can he take over cleaning the sewers under 11th Division?" he asked Retsu.

"That would not be appropriate. The sewers are under all the Divisions and he could use them as a means to make other unfortunate intrusions," the Captain-General said sharply. "We are agreed the man did break the laws, but in fairness to Captain Kurotsuchi, I believe we should shelve this matter until after the hearing tomorrow. We need to concentrate on Captain Kurotsuchi's case first as it has priority and he is a Captain facing serious charges."

"I agree, Sir. I should return to assist Captain Ukitake with the prosecution," Soi said, bowing slightly as she prepared to take her leave.

Captain Yamamoto raised his hand to prevent her exit. "The matter cannot end there. To be fair, though there is no doubt of his guilt, we will schedule a hearing regarding this matter so that justice may reign. I will keep Pie, I mean Hisutanga confined until a date for the hearing can be set."

"Perhaps it won't be so bad," mused Zaraki as he watched the others agree. If the Clown Captain's hearing lasted a long time, Piecrust's interrogation could be deferred.

"I think, given the gravity of the situation, we will need to investigate this incident involving Yuki Hisutanga with a formal hearing. As you are his Captain, you will render the defence. I do not expect you to commence work on the defence until after the other matter is resolved."

Stunned, Zaraki looked at his superior officer. The old man couldn't mean it. He had to provide the defence for Piecrust? He knew nothing about law, nor was he interested. It would mean he'd have to read books about the subject and that didn't appeal to him at all. Reading things for pleasure was fine, but law? "But," he began.

"I will assign another Captain to assist you. Captain Fon and Unohana you will prosecute with the assistance of the other affected parties," was the next direction.

The little knowledge that he had on the law made this seem wrong. "Captain Yamamoto, that can't be right. They're involved and they can't be impartial."

"Impartial? Big word, Zaraki, and you're correct. Appointing them is against every legal precedent," Atonomatsuri said, her voice heavy with sleep.

For some reason the birds support made him feel a little better, but looking at the Captain of the 1st Division he knew it wasn't going to provide much help. "In this instance I believe that the injured parties should be compensated. Their prosecution of the accused will assist them in redressing any issues they have with the man. It may also serve to impress on Hisutanga the severity with which we view such behaviour within the Seireitei. But, there will be no further physical contact," was the judgement provided by Captain Yamamoto.

'I will send Iemura to care for Pie…the prisoner," Retsu said briefly. Both female captains bowed briefly and left the room.

Sighing loudly, Zaraki turned to the Captain-General, preparing to appeal to his common sense. "The guy should be sent back to Soul Society. He's not cut out to be a Shinigami. His reiatsu barely registers, he's annoying and can't fight with a weapon," he began.

A cool look from his superior made him pause. That look indicated that he would not rid himself of the nuisance that easily.

"Why did I end up with him? 11th is a fighting division, not a place for idiotic weaklings," was his next protest and the Captain-General raised a finger for silence.

"You will keep him. We have gone over this before. I selected you as the Captain best able to bring out his hidden abilities," was the explanation offered.

Frowning, Zaraki wondered what hidden abilities the man could have. Was annoying people a talent, because Piecrust couldn't be beaten on that? The only indication of ability was his possible skill in fighting without weapons. Even if that could be improved, it was useless against Hollows as the zanpaku-to was essential in defeating them. Maybe he attracted Hollows and that was his hidden talent. Or by comparison he made ever other Shinigami look competent.

"Sir, let's cut through the crap. Why are you forcing this dimwit on me? I demand to know," even as he spoke he knew he was pushing hard and might anger the old man, but it was about time he was given a reason.

"It's not your business, Captain Zaraki," was the only reply he received. The old man was frowning at him, his heavy eyebrows drawn together.

Anger rising Zaraki replied, "It is my bloody business. You lumber me with this worthless piece of offal and insist I train him. He's a drunkard who abuses women, falls over his own blade and insults people who try to help him. Forget being a Shinigami. He's has trouble remembering that he should breathe with his mouth closed."

Maybe he was exaggerating a little with the last claim, but it seemed like Yamamoto didn't understand and he wanted to express his displeasure.

"I don't think this is the best time to impart this information," Yamamoto said stiffly.

"Best time? What's the best time? Hell, Old Man, if you don't sodding tell me I'll fill 4th Division with casualties. Or you could fight me," he felt a bloodthirsty smile tug at the corners of his mouth. Maybe it was time for payback to 'reward' this man for forcing him to become a Shinigami.

"I won't fight you. Not when there are so many other issues that need my attention. Very well, Captain. I will tell you the reason that I have appointed that person to your Division," the Captain-General said, his demeanour shifting to one of even more authority.

Disappointed that he wasn't scoring a fight, but willing to take what he could get, Zaraki leant forward, impatient to hear the explanation.

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"Calm down, Zaraki. Stop grinding your teeth; it makes a very loud and annoying noise. There was no choice; he had to place that worthless object in your division. You must see that. Come on; use that anger for something worthwhile. We need another training session. Walk to that place we were this morning," the pleas from Atonomatsuri were loud in his ears. The concern in her voice was lost on Zaraki who had nearly wrenched the door to the 1st Division Captain's office off its hinges as he left. As it was, he pulled out the handle which he had thrown at Sasakibe when the Assistant Captain gave him a disgusted look.

"Send me the bill," he bellowed as he stomped out, not caring what the man thought or said.

Despite his intentions of heading to the nearest bar, he found he was again in the field. "Damn it, I want to fight. Atonomatsuri, get that lazy butt of yours out here and fight me," was his harsh demand.

With a flurry of feathers and flapping of wings, the vulture appeared in front of him, her eyes shining. "It will be interesting to fight you when your anger is not directed at me, Ke…Zaraki."

"I didn't call you here to chat, so don't expect tea and biscuits," snarled Zaraki, the words emerging through his clenched teeth. "Shut up and fight."

"But first, let's move this somewhere a little less noticeable," Atonomatsuri said agreeably.

"I don't give a damn about people noticing. Once that news gets out…."

The bird took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Only you and Captain Yamamoto know. Even Piecrust isn't aware of that particular truth."

"Yet," yelled Zaraki, as he drew his blade and lunged, without warning, at the vulture. She dodged the blow, a little too late, barely escaping receiving the full impact through her chest. As it was, her wing suffered and she bit back a gasp of astonishment.

"Zaraki, I am training you to use me," she scolded him, her voice wavering in fear as she spoke.

"I don't give a stuff what you think you're doing. I'm here to fight to the death and you're the only person who is prepared to fight me. If I could get the old man to let me go after some Hollows….," he said and faltered.

How could he fight Hollows if he had been one? How did that work? Had he been in a better situation as a creature that only lived to absorb souls? The memory of that time was still blocked to him and he could only imagine what it would have been like. No responsibilities, no paperwork, no annoying meetings. Just the thrill of the hunt, the fights and appeasing the insatiable hunger for souls. That didn't sound so bad. Why should he fight what he once was? Would it make the world better? The souls who were eaten by the Hollows; wasn't it their own fault for not accepting they were dead and moving on to Soul Society? Why hang around the human world? It wasn't that fascinating watching humans live. As for the reason he had become a Hollow? That wasn't important. It was so long ago that no one cared, least of all him.

If he went to the human world to protect some fools who didn't know if they were alive, he could accidentally let himself become a Hollow, lose all the stupid thoughts and rid himself of Atonomatsuri. The idea appealed except for two things. It would mean he would have to lose a fight and he hated losing. The other was that he'd be trapped in Hueco Mundo with Aizen and the other losers. Being in a place where Tosen was considered a superior being was enough to persuade him that it was a bad idea. Sometimes he wondered if he preferred Kurotsuchi to that blind injustice. Remembering the fight he'd had with Tosen he again wondered why the man had been made a Captain in the first place. He admitted he hated fighting, and from Zaraki's experience he wasn't very good at it. And that bankai was dumb. It only took him minutes to work out how to counter it. How could that be considered a bankai? All the guy did was hide in the darkness and attack. Yamamoto must have been desperate when he appointed that joke as a Captain.

"Kenny, could you please pay attention. You wouldn't like being a Hollow again because you'd miss my company," the words of the bird invaded his thoughts.

"That's one good argument for it," was the curt reply he gave. He yearned for the time when he could be alone, completely alone without the bird in his head and the teeming mass of his Division constantly expecting something from him. Why was he even thinking about this?

"It's called avoidance, Kenny. You know that. Fighting is another way to stop thinking and we need to fight; we need to train," the persuasive note was hard to ignore.

"You want to fight? Let do it," he turned on the bird and slashed at her as she stepped backwards.

Rolling her eyes, which was an interesting sight, Atonomatsuri quivered, possibly with anger, or laughter. "Not like this. Say the words. Summon my other form."

Through lips that seemed unwilling to move, Zaraki said "Yawn, Atonomatsuri."

His frustration and anger broke his concentration and he couldn't focus his reiatsu. The large blade slammed into the flower bed under the blade, digging a large divot and destroying the symmetry. Pleased at bringing chaos to order, he swiped at the flowers again, removing their heads and making it look less like an ordered arrangement. Lifting the heavy blade seemed easy, this time; why he didn't know or question. A few minutes and the unwanted flowers were gone.

"Feel better now? Destroying something in which I took pleasure. Are you happy now, Kenny boy."

Responding to the accusation in the voice, Zaraki turned and grinned wildly at the spirit of his zanpaku-to. "Yeah. I can lift this now. I reckon I could fight with it."

Puffing out her chest, Atonomatsuri leant her head to one side. "That's not what we're here for. You're here to learn control."

He didn't listen to her words, too intent on trying to use the zanpaku-to as he normally did when fighting. The size was difficult to estimate and he would sometimes misjudge what he could do only to find the blade thudding into the dirt once more. Consciously he knew he was not trying to fight Atonomatsuri, but instead trying to beat the size of the blade, to make it possible to use the unwieldy item in its natural form. Instead he cut at the things in his mind that did not seem to fit. "I wish it was this easy to remove unwanted ideas," he thought as he demolished another flower bed; one containing gaudy pink chrysanthemums.

"I liked that arrangement. I created it especially," the bird said, piqued by the destruction.

"Hideous damned flowers. All head, no scent. Over bred, inbred, modified, unoriginal and ugly," Zaraki turned and bared his teeth at Atonomatsuri, now preparing to fight her. He could handle the blade and she was an obvious target.

"Are you talking about the flowers, or a person?"

The question; what did she mean by the question? Of course he was talking about the bloody chrysanthemums. He wasn't fond of flowers and for some reason he'd always loathed the pompom headed weeds. "The flowers. What else would I be talking about?"

The bird tutted and looked crestfallen. "I thought we had established the beginning of trust and now you lie to us both"

The accusation was an invitation and using the long reach of the blade he swung his zanpaku-to at the bird's neck, wishing to decapitate her and still her words. There was nothing that she could say that interested him.

This time she ducked under the swing of the blade and sighed irritably. "For the sake of sanity, focus your reiatsu and fight me properly. Piecrust is unimportant and you'll work out what to do with the jerk later. For now we need to work on this; you need to manage to consciously call on the too late powers that can be used in this form."

Widening his eyes, Zaraki looked at the bird and then a sneer lifted his lip. "That's what you really want, isn't it? You want me to become some little obedient individual, focused on control, who ignores the adrenalin rush that comes from fighting. You want me to lose the blood lust and the fun so you can take over and tell me what to do. It ain't happening, bird. Understand?" This time he moved slower, skulking closer to her as she watched, planning on cutting at her legs and disabling her ability to move.

Her razor-sharp beak stabbed through his foot, pinning him to the ground. The shock of the attack caused him to jerk back, but he couldn't budge and the blood welled out of the wound. Removing her beak from the puncture, the bird placed her talons on the wound, applying some pressure, making it difficult to move.

"Try to get away and I'll rip the rest of the foot open, Zaraki. It will disable you for some time. Once you leave here, you'll have to go and see Retsu quickly because you need to be at your best for tomorrow. I only did that so you'd listen to me. You need to train with me. I'd tell you why, but in the mood you are you won't listen,"

Ignoring her words he tried to pull his foot from under hers. She dug her talons in, pushing them through the flesh and into the ground underneath. The look of disdain and pity she turned on him was the main reason he desisted, or so he told himself. He ignored the sting of pain, the wound was minor compared to some he had suffered, but he could feel that she was close to severing some of the tendons in the foot.

"Get your stinking talons out, Tweety," the voice that emerged was gritty with suppressed rage.

"You don't face unpleasant truths well, do you Kenny boy? I can see why Yamamoto didn't want to explain about Piecrust before this. He must have anticipated that you'd react excessively to the facts." Hearing the words, guessing what she would say next almost made him try again to pull his foot free.

Instead anger overwhelmed him and he bellowed at the bird, venting the frustration and bewilderment he felt. He'd lost it a few times when the Captain-General explained, but out of respect for the man he'd tried to keep a lid on it. Now he didn't need to, but the bird seemed to have some weird expectations. "Shut that hole in your face! You really like it when I'm given bad news."

The bird spread her wings, and shrugged her shoulders. The pain of the talons did not grow less, but her voice, as she spoke was low and soothing. "I didn't know about this, Zaraki." She looked at him kindly. "I want to help you; that you can trust. Yamamoto only told you because you insisted. At least you know the truth."

"Yeah. Like it's a relief to know that Piecrust is the son of the man I killed to become Captain of 11th Division," Zaraki yelled.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

Okay, how many people guessed Piecrust's parentage? I almost felt sorry for Piecrust when I wrote the first part of this chapter. I said almost.

The chapter title is a very bad and cryptic hint. Do I have to explain? Okay, don't blame me if it's dull. Another name for a Piecrust is a pie case, shortened to case and it I have to explain origin I think I'll go and have a nice relaxing discussion with Atonomatsuri. On second thoughts I might just bang my head against this nice, convenient wall a few times. Ouch. Yeah, that feels better.

I have removed the anonymous review blocker, for the moment. We'll see what happens.

Thanks to faint-love, Yureki-sama, very bored person, Chrosis, Odi et amo, Amber Fox and Lyell, IamPikachudipsCurse, GinIchimaru321, Magus Black, Leelotus1028, Trychon, Dakyu, Ghost140, spedclass, snowecat, Stetsuna the Dragon, swordbunny4486, lighningstrxu, chaos-bardockand Gin Inchimaru's Girl for the reviews. I tried to write faster, but then I kept missing out important parts of the story, so I had to rewrite it. I can't deny that Piecrust is an idiot.

Please review.

MS


	34. Static Growth

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Static Growth**

"So what? He doesn't know. His mother, Hiromi, left his father immediately when she found out about his 'preferences'. She was worried that he would try to hurt her son and wouldn't allow any contact between father and son and wouldn't tell Piecrust anything about his father. She even changed the family name which is why you didn't recognise it. Piecrust was only 18 months old. He couldn't remember. The child is the father of the man," was Atonomatsuri's nervous response.

Zaraki stopped trying to wrench his foot free and stood still, remembering what the Captain-General had told him. Even though Piecrust's mother hadn't told him who his father was, he had decided at a young age that he must be a Shinigami. Why he came to that conclusion was anybody's guess, but given the natural arrogance of the man it was surprising he hadn't claimed Yamamoto as his father. After the death of her husband, Hiromi had approached the Captain-General and asked for assistance. She wanted her son to be admitted to the Academy.

At that stage, he would soon be of an age where he would be eligible to enter the Academy and he was very conceited, but Yamamoto had tested him, in person. It had taken considerable patience, due to the jerks inability to follow simple instructions without argument, but the results indicated that his reiatsu was sufficient to earn him a place. His natural ability with unarmed combat was the main factor that swayed the Captain General's judgement but he felt the boy's attitude wouldn't work well within the learning institution. The 1st Division Captain had explained that because of these doubts he had delayed his admission for some years. He had provided money to assist the small family until Hiromi had remarried.

Not long after he gained a stepfather, Yuki had demanded that he was admitted to the Academy and was granted the privilege. Yamamoto had not gone into the man's family life or the reasons that he left home so abruptly, and Zaraki didn't care. The guy's personal life didn't interest him. Piecrust hadn't fared well at the Academy. It was only because of Yamamoto's intervention that he hadn't been thrown out in the first year when he insulted his teachers and offended many of his peers. As it was he remained there longer than any other student as efforts were made to improve his skills and he consistently failed the exams. Eventually many of the instructors gave up on him, stating that if they wished to waste time there were better ways of doing so. The classes he excelled in were unarmed combat where he was one of the best students, but still not near Zaraki's standard. He was also good at horticulture which was an optional subject and seemed to enjoy talking to plants. Zaraki had joked unkindly that he would help in planting the guy. Yamamoto had not been amused. Yuki had some grasp of kido, but it was very weak and often could not summon the necessary focus to use the spells.

By some fluke Piecrust had managed to graduate, but there was no mention of the number of times he'd failed the examination and while Yamamoto didn't admit it, Zaraki guessed that he had bypassed the normal methods of allocation and placed him in 11th Division without following the standard formalities. This strengthened his resolve that all new recruits would be vetted by one of his seated officers, preferably Ayasegawa or Madarame. The Piecrust mistake would not be repeated.

What he wanted to know was the special ability that the old man had mentioned. He also didn't want the jerk finding out that he was the man who had killed his father. Not because he was ashamed of the execution, which is how he saw the death of the captain, but because he knew that the fool would over react and probably challenge him. He didn't want to fight him again; it would be boring and pointless and the jerk would make mistakes and probably start crying. Killing him would bring no pleasure as it would be too easy.

The question that burned in his mind, spewed from his mouth while he was talking to the Captain-General. "Why put him in my Division? Why am I the dumping ground?"

"His mother requested specifically that he be placed in his father's Division. She knew it had been his wish. All the same, you are the Captain best suited to have him under your charge. You won't indulge the man," Yamamoto had replied.

"That's sentimental crap and you know it. No Captain would indulge him, except Ukitake and maybe Kyoraku. You could have taken him into 1st Division if you wanted him to be taught by a Captain. Why did you say I'm the best one to train him?"

The old man gave Zaraki a contemplative look. "You'll have to find that out yourself. There will be ample time for you to learn that once you begin providing personal training to Piecr.., I mean Hisutanga. Without the necessary skill to use his zanpaku-to, he will provide little assistance to your Division. I am very disappointed you haven't already begun working with him."

That comment had made Zaraki nearly lose it completely. The man was admitting that Piecrust was useless. "I did, once. But otherwise, when? He's bloody always in 4th Division after someone's tried to kill him. Even you admit he's hopeless. I won't train him, not personally," was his attempt at defiance. He was yelling, but didn't care if he ended up in the cells. This was not the way the old man usually operated. Was there something more; another thing that Yamamoto was not telling him? Obviously there was, but he had that stubborn look on his face which convinced Zaraki that he wouldn't say anything more. Why the man had to keep these secrets he didn't know and it infuriated him. He was acting like that annoying budgie who was masquerading as a vulture and only gradually imparting important information.

"You will train him, Captain Zaraki. It is essential, aside from the promise I made to his mother. You have to train him. No other captain will accept him and your inability to use kido, kendo and bankai place you in a unique position. Your strength is the key, I'm sure of it." The man's voice was low and urgent and his gaze was fixed intently on Zaraki. "I'm asking for this, as a favour."

This last speech from Yamamoto shocked Zaraki and took the edge off his anger. The man had only asked him for a favour once before, when he'd asked him to join the Gotei 13. "I don't do favours. It's a waste of effort," he replied, feeling disturbed at being placed in this position.

"It's a chance to practice fighting against someone," the 1st Division Captain began.

The last statement made a haze of red rise before his eyes and his fury, beginning to cool, rose ever hotter. Didn't the man realise who he was talking to? Not some fool who did as he was told and followed orders like they were mandates from God. Now he had the taste to create havoc somewhere to remind the Captain-General that Kenpachi Zaraki was one of the most feared fighters within the Seireitei. Managing to keep his yell at a dull roar he answered, "Practice fighting? Against Piecrust? Fighting? I've got to hold back more than normal when I fight that guy. It can't be called fighting! He does more damage to himself than anyone else," the injustice was fuelling his anger. "I won't do it, Sir, and you can't damn well make me."

Before a further protest could be uttered he stormed out of the office, needing to get away from the old man before he ripped the office apart.

Now he was standing in his mind with the vultures talon's sunk in his foot. The day had started in a good way, but now all the good was draining away. Yamamoto was forcing him to work with his untalented subordinate and even provide a defence for him in a case where he'd clearly been in the wrong. If this continued, next he'd be cleaning the jerks room and doing his laundry.

"Bird, get your talons out of my foot," he said heavily. There were things he had to do and spending time with Atonomatsuri ranked low in his priorities.

"Are you calm, Zaraki? Vows made in storms are forgotten in calms," she said seriously, her head cocked to one side. The dim light glinted off her beak which seemed to shine with a polish he had not seen before.

He let out his breath which came out as a roar of outrage. Another adage! Hadn't there been enough junk to deal with and now he had to listen to the bird mangle the air with her words.

"So, not calm then. He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die," Atonomatsuri said, apparently unmoved by his show of anger.

Trying to move, Zaraki felt her claws dig in further. "Do you frigging think your adages are going to help?"

"No."

"Then why use the bloody things?"

Instead of answering, Atonomatsuri shifted her weight, bringing more pressure to bear on the injured foot. The pain didn't concern Zaraki, but being trapped in one place did.

"Being trapped somewhere can be quite scary. You wonder when you're going to be free, to go where you wish, talk to whom you want. It like being forced to remain static when you want to grow. Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still. I know this to be true," the female said sternly as she looked up at Zaraki.

Fuming he glared back at her. She could never let anything go, could she? Always had to remind him of her imagined grudge. Why couldn't she let it go? Did he act like he was interested when she prattled on? It wasn't likely, but he didn't know how she thought. This time he didn't say anything in response. There was no point as he was certain she'd ignore any of his words. Atonomatsuri didn't listen; she only talked and exasperated him.

The vulture sighed noisily as she slowly waggled her head. "I'm not talking about me, Kenny."

"What?" had he misheard her? She'd said she wasn't talking about herself, which was hard to believe for a start, but he was sure that string of words was leading to yet another Atonomatsuri-centric tirade which he'd have to listen to as he was pretty well trapped.

"I'm talking about you and," she paused.

"I thought you wanted me to calm down and now you're playing stupid games with me. Spit out what you want to say, or don't say anything," was his attempt at disinterested encouragement, as he interrupted her quickly.

"Piecrust," the name was a murmur on the breeze and he knew he didn't want to hear it or know why she had insisted on mentioning that burke to him.

He directed his eyes toward the heavens that span above his head. The planets were now completely formed and he could nearly swear that he saw a comet dodging between some of the stars, but while it was interesting it didn't sidetrack him enough. For once the vulture didn't burst into frantic explanations about what she meant and while he knew she was waiting his reaction, she could wait. He didn't want to think about why she was championing Piecrust, or what she wanted him to do. It was plain that he didn't want to know her reasons, just as he didn't want to know any more of the secrets she kept revealing. Each time she told him something important it meant that he was again forced to deal with something objectionable. At the same time he wanted to know everything she was concealing so that she couldn't use it as a weapon to confound him. Trying not to think reminded him of the time before he had first tried to talk to the spirit of his zanpaku-to. Was it better then, when he wasn't forced to confront all these issues? Sure he'd had problems with Kurotsuchi, but he hadn't cared, not that he cared now, he reassured himself.

The dying sun flared slightly and a jet of flame could be seen rising from the surface, bleeding into the heavens. He watched the bright glitter cascade, then fade, then die. A moment of brilliance before it was extinguished, lighting the sky so briefly only to be forgotten. After standing silently, his anger began to wane slightly. He had stopped struggling against Atonomatsuri because there was little point. Noticing this she eased some of the pressure and her talons no longer pinned his foot to the ground.

"I never wanted to grow," he averred stubbornly, trying to assert some sense of independence.

Her face gazed at him with a mixture of pride and grief. "Except in strength and skill, but both come at a cost. If you will accept some advice…"

"No." He was very quick to respond but then thought about. Some of her advice had been sensible, except the stuff about the two eye patches and other things he couldn't remember. Yet, this time she seemed genuinely concerned about him, which made him wonder if she might have something to say that might be of benefit to him.

"It won't cost you anything," she urged.

This time Zaraki looked closely at Atonomatsuri. It was not just her beak which gleamed. Her feathers glistened with care and she looked proud of the way she looked, standing upright and sleek.

"I owe you. You polished me and that affected me more than you can imagine. You polished me without hatred or any expectation of reward. It was in answer to a request I made and I am more grateful than I can express."

"If you're so grateful, get your talons out of my foot," he said, not really hoping that she would agree.

The next moment he was free. Looking down he saw the blood spilling out of the tears in his foot, but that didn't seem important. Retsu would fix it later.

"My advice is to train the jerk, personally. I don't know why, but I believe Yamamoto. There is something more there than either of us has seen. I will observe him and maybe I can plumb the depths of his abilities. If you train him it will make it easier. One eye of the master sees more than four of the servant's."

He paused before he answered. This sounded like a solution, but he didn't trust it. First, though, he had to set the birds to rights on something. "You're not my master. Yeah, I'll train him," he said reluctantly but then he felt slightly cheered as he remembered something. "I can't train him while he's injured."

"No, but the Captain-General expects you to visit him and train him once he's recovered," Atonomatsuri reminded him. "I think it's his way of making you act as he has instructed. Might is right."

Growling, Zaraki realised she was correct. The man was forcing him into a situation he resented and it wasn't easy to see a way out. "I'll take Yachiru with me, and Ayasegawa and Madarame. We'll train the jerk together and he's now probably more scared of Yachiru than me."

"It's possible, but I don't think so. One ability that man does not have is observing what is below the surface, even when it has been proven to him more than once. Proof rather than argument do not work on that man. He would rather argue than accept any proof."

He was forced to accept the truth of her words. Bemused by the turn of events he began to try to frame a question about something else that was bothering him. "You mentioned that Aizen set something in motion before he left."

"Yes."

The stillness of his mind was not disturbed by the movement of the breeze, but the slight buzz of insects was the only thing that could be heard. Zaraki had expected more than a simple yes from the bird, but she did not seem inclined to say anything further.

"What about it?"

"Later."

His surroundings faded and he found he was standing in the field again, his foot aching slightly as he stood there. He tried to talk to Atonomatsuri but received no answer. The silence in his mind was soothing. Changing his balance his exerted more weight on his undamaged right foot. Running was not an option. Slowly he made his way to 4th Division. At first it wasn't too bad, but being confined to a walking pace much slower than his normal speed, began to irritate and eventually infuriate him. He ignored the exclamations and stares of the passing Shinigami as he walked; the volume of his cursing increasing the longer he walked.

"Captain Zaraki! I request that you moderate your language. I hope you do not use those words in front of your assistant captain," a chiding voice broke through his anger and he glared around to see who dared to tell him what to do this time.

"Now, Nanao. I think the Captain is in some pain if you look at his foot. Here, lean on me and I'll help you walk to 4th Division," Captain Kyoraku offered, the amusement in his tone not concealed. "Stepped on a pitchfork did you? That is the only explanation I can venture for that sort of wound."

Zaraki stopped trying to walk and glowered at the 8th Division Captain who was smiling at him with his hat pushed to the back of his head. "I don't need help," was his ill tempered response. He tried to step forward as a fresh gout of blood welled from his foot and his ankle turned.

The other captain grabbed his coat and prevented him from falling, removed his hat and gave it to his assistant captain to hold. "I think you should stop walking on that foot. Your threshold for pain is known, but let me help." He placed his shoulder under Zaraki's arm and the support helped. "If I help you, the payment is that you stop swearing. My sweet Nanao has an aversion to swearing and I try to indulge her when I can."

"You're her Captain. She shouldn't tell you what to do," Zaraki told the man through the side of his mouth.

"Just as you tell Assistant Captain Kusajiki what she should do?" was the good humoured response.

The man was correct. Yachiru was more likely to tell him what to do, when she thought she could get away with it.

"And you are wise to follow her advice on occasions," Nanao said calmly, showing she had overheard the low voiced conversation. "Not necessarily about the consumption of sweets, but she sometimes has very clear and sensible opinions at the Shinigami Women's Association. Much has changed since she became President."

"Miss the glory days, do you Nanao?" The teasing note in the 8th Captain's voice did not escape Zaraki.

The frosty stare she bestowed on her Captain indicated that the wound from being replaced was still fresh. "I will go ahead and inform 4th Division of your imminent arrival," the comment was delivered to Zaraki as the assistant captain moved swiftly ahead.

"Why are you helping me?" Zaraki asked Shunsui now they were alone.

"I was bored. I wanted to drink with Ran or talk to Jushiro, but they're both busy with this hearing. I thought I'd go for a walk with Nanao; see if anything interesting was happening and I heard rumours that Captain Kenpachi Zaraki was shocking the residents of the Seireitei with his language. I thought I'd come and see if it was as colourful as I was told."

Gossip always travelled fast. "Humph. And was it?"

A quiet laugh was his answer and they continued walking for a few minutes before the Captain gave a more complete response. "I think you used some words I've never heard before. What're carpal tunnel syndrome and scampi? Are they particularly bad invectives? And there were quite a few mentions of some bird of other."

Zaraki groaned. "I don't know what those words mean. I heard someone use them and I was getting bored with the other stuff."

"Maybe we could swap phrases one day when Nanao is caught up with her duties at the Women's meetings. Have a drink together," was the astonishing suggestion.

Briefly Zaraki closed his eyes. What the hell was going on? Was this another offer of friendship? He didn't want, or need, anymore friends.

"I mean all the Captain should get to know each other. I've been thinking that for a long time," was the very quiet explanation. "We work toward a common goal and yet most of us are strangers."

What was the guy talking about? Of course they were strangers. They had little in common except their rank and possibly a liking for sake.

"It's been noted that you have formed a friendship with Captain Unohana, a person I respect and admire. If she has seen fit to become friends with you, can I do anything less?"

Their arrival at 4th Division fortunately interrupted the conversation and Zaraki didn't have to reply. He was quickly taken inside where Retsu attended to him.

"What have you done this time?" She glanced at his set features, nodded to herself and commenced washing and binding the foot in an efficient manner. While she was working she said quietly, "Atonomatsuri. I can see the talon marks. If the wounds had been one fraction of a millimetre different we would be looking at major injuries, but she appears to have intentionally disabled but not permanently damaged your foot. I will have to keep you in overnight."

"Oh, hell Retsu. I don't want to be here overnight," he began. He hated being confined to 4th Division, it made him look weak.

"I'll play backgammon with you again," she offered, smiling.

"Does this mean you're not still angry about Piecrust?" he allowed himself to hope briefly but a dark look crossed her face.

"I'm not angry with you about Piecrust. I am aware that the man acted contrary to your orders," she said, her voice gentle, but the content harsh.

"Ur, yeah. I'll stay if you cook," he said trying to change the subject as quickly as he could.

Retsu placed her hands on her hips and looked down at him, a gentle smile on her face. "You expect me to heal you and cook for you?"

He realised she was teasing. "Yeah, why not? You don't expect me to cook with this foot, do you?"

A worried frown crossed Retsu's face. "Can you cook? Have you even tried?"

Grinning he replied, "I can cook but it's basic. If you don't mind burned rice and raw meat I'm your man." He wasn't going to tell her that he was a little better than that. How did she think he and Yachiru survived during the early years they were together? He'd learnt, but didn't enjoy preparing food. It was easier to buy it, or persuade someone else to do the work. "I'll make a meal for you later."

Shuddering Retsu shook her head. "I'm not fond of raw meat unless it's sushi. Very well, Zaraki, I'll prepare a meal, but be prepared to lose at backgammon, again."

The last time they'd played she had won every game, but this time he thought he'd worked out her strategy. She seemed very confident that she'd be victorious, but now was not the time to contradict her. If he did, he'd have to eat whatever slosh they fed the other patients in this place. Suddenly he remembered something. He wanted to find out why Retsu was so angry earlier. Her fury had seemed excessive, but maybe he could distract her first.

"Hey, what happened to Aizen's assistant captain? What was her name? Hinamoron, or something?" If she woke up maybe she could offer some background, maybe even give some hints as to what they guy was planning.

"Momo Hinamori. She is still here, still comatose. We have tried so many treatments to bring her back to consciousness, but the wound given to her by her Captain was grave. She nearly died. I believe that was his intention." Retsu was very grave as she explained. "Why do you ask?"

Zaraki thought about it. He didn't give a damn about what happened to the girl. He'd barely noticed her before this. It was obvious her condition worried Retsu and that seemed unfair. It seemed even more unfair that he had been the unwitting cause of bringing her so much work.

"Making conversation. I really wanted to know why you were so angry with Piecrust, aside from the obvious," he stated. Maybe she would answer him, maybe not.

He glanced at Retsu from the corner of his eye and what he saw made him wonder. Was Retsu turning red? Was she blushing? If so, what had Piecrust said or done that had affected her like that. He vaguely remembered she'd said something, but what it was he didn't remember.

"No reason," Retsu said. Her voice sounded like that of a stranger. It was choked and high, very unlike her normal utterance.

"Oh, come on, Retsu. We're past all these stupid games. Tell me and I'll rip his guts out for you."

A knock at the door interrupted before she could answer. A messenger opened the door and bowed slightly. "Captain Yamamoto has requested that you visit him immediately, Captain Unohana." The messenger shut the door, without waiting for a response.

Watching the 4th Division Captain, Zaraki noticed she didn't seem too surprised.

"That's the 4th time this week," he heard her murmur as if to herself.

"You mean the Old Man has asked you to talk to him 3 times already this week?" It seemed a bit odd to Zaraki and he wondered what she had done to attract this much attention. He was used to being summoned for one reason or another, but he hadn't heard that Retsu was required often.

"Yes. He's wished to talk to me about inconsequential matters a few times. Each time I thought there was an important matter, but it was only tea and conversation. I think, perhaps, he's lonely."

"And you're one of the longest serving captains," Zaraki said, guessing that the Captain General felt he had some things in common with Retsu. "Has he done this before?"

Retsu shook her head, not seeming to be paying full attention to the conversation. "I apologise for the interruption, Captain Zaraki. I will see you on my return."

"What about the meal you promised?" He felt disappointed at missing out on a free meal.

"I'll order something for you. I'd better make haste. The Captain General doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Retsu left without looking in his direction again and for a moment he wished she had just nodded reassuringly at him before she left.

"That's not good, Kenny. I wondered if this might happen," Atonomatsuri broke in sadly and Zaraki groaned. Why did the bird have to stick her beak in everywhere?

* * *

_Author's Note:_

I was very pleased to see that so many of you guessed that Piecrust didn't know who his father was, or at least you seemed to. As you may had noticed there are a few further things about Piecrust to be revealed, but they will come, with time.

It was a little surprising that no one noticed that Atonomatsuri didn't use any adages in the last chapter. In case you were wondering, it was on purpose as a means to show her concern. Wait a minute. The bird's worried about Zaraki?

One reviewer asked if Ichigo will appear in this story. It's unlikely because it's quite relaxing for me to write a story where he is not a central character.

Zaraki did not know Piecrust's parentage before the Yamamoto told him in the last chapter and I hope I've made it clear that Piecrust doesn't have a clue (in more ways than one) who his father is.

Thank you to vanchnagreen, Mike the 2, lightningstrxu, Afrieal, swordbunny4486, memnarch, spedclass, leelotus1028, javy, Mizu1411, Green.on.Black, Ghost140, David Brown, LunaticPandora1, Magus Black, Vi, Gin Ichimaru321, jake, Ephiphany's Apocalypse (what a great name), faint-love, Carmen Willious Dorman, and Cookbook24.

I really appreciate the support I receive for this story. I'll try to use the adages that I've received but none of them worked for this chapter.

Please review.

MS


	35. Pieces of a Scar

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Pieces of a Scar**

The sound of the door opening prevented him from replying to the bird's comment. He knew that she meant there was something happening of which he was unaware, but didn't have a chance to ask the question and receive the inevitable, unhelpful reply.

"Ken-chan! I heard you were here so I came right away. Baldy's awake and he's grumpy. No one will give him sake or ramen. They keep taking his temperature and make him swallow medicine, or they poke him and prod him and check his stiches. He wants to come and visit and so does Pretty Boy," Yachiru bounced into the room, smiling happily at her Captain.

He was pleased to see her smiling at him after hearing about the events in the bath house but she could be hiding her feelings? He thought about visitors before he answered. At least the ones she mentioned would be people who knew him and wouldn't ask idiotic questions. Ayasegawa and Yachiru could update Madarame about the revelations of the morning, if they hadn't done so already.

"Sure," he answered. It would help pass the time and he felt like company. Then he noticed smudges of dried red and blue paint on Yachiru's cheek and the sleeve of her uniform and many streaks in her hair. "Have you been helping paint the office?"

Her eyes round with astonishment, she looked at Zaraki. "How did you guess?"

Smiling at her he gestured to her uniform and she looked down and giggled. "It's nearly finished. You'll be able to use your office tomorrow. I'm making Pretty Boy paint my room afterwards. It will be pink and black with some white. He glowered at me when I told him and said that you wanted him to paint your room. You don't mind if he paints my room first, do you Ken-chan?"

"No Yachiru. You can sleep in my quarters while your room is painted as long as you don't decide to wake me up at two in the morning because you've had a dream, or want ice-cream," he said as he remembered some of the strange things that she might do.

"I don't eat ice-cream in the middle of the night. I eat chocolate," she replied. "I'll have to bring my ear plugs," she said reflectively.

"Why?"

"Because you snore Ken-chan. If you drink too much sake you snore really, really loud," she said the words quietly but he could sense the truth in the unpleasant statement. "It keeps me awake."

He glared at her. He was his own man and he didn't need some kid to talk to him about his drinking or sleeping habits. Then he remembered she wasn't really a kid and she was invariably truthful with her observations about him. Would a few days without alcohol really be a problem? There was a very good chance that he wouldn't be given anything to drink in this place, which Madarame was already complaining about. It might work as long, as those damned dreams didn't return. She wasn't asking much, was she? He'd compromise, still drink, but moderate it. "Okay, okay. I won't drink too much when you stay over. Does that make you happy?"

She nodded. "I want to sleep in the same room as you Ken-chan, like we used to do. You can tell me a story and I can tell you jokes before we go to sleep."

A small smile tugged the corners of his mouth. He recalled those days so clearly when she was young and so curious about the world. Every time he told her a story he had to stop often to answer the questions that bubbled out of her mouth.

"What's a dragon? Why are princesses so stupid? Why does she expect someone else to rescue her? Do we have a king? Can I be a prince when I grow up? I want to be a prince, not a princess." So many questions about the stories and later about life.

As she turned and was about to leave the room, he remembered what had happened earlier which was the indirect cause of his forced visit to 4th Division. "Yachiru, sit down." He used that special tone which made the statement sound like an order; one he would not allow to be disobeyed. Also he was still not happy about being bossed around by another interfering female. The scrofulous vulture seemed to believe that she had complete justification in telling him what to do and the way his assistant captain tried to convince him to do things her way. This time he would make the decisions.

Yachiru turned and looked at him, her mouth dropping open with surprise at his tone, but sat on a chair near the bed. Frowning slightly she shifted in her seat and then pulled her legs up and sat cross legged as she gazed at him intently. "You're not going to ask me about Piecrust, are you Ken-chan? He was rude to Chesty and me. Captain Fun was very cross. Did you know Lolly had undone her plait? I like her better without the plait, but she says it keeps her hair neat. Do you think I should grow my hair Ken-chan and then I can plait it, or you can learn how to do plaits? Maybe you could plait your hair too."

The wash of her words flooded his ears and for a moment he wanted to tell her that he had enough trouble dealing with his own hair, let alone learning how to plait hers. But before he answered, he paused slightly and then appreciated exactly what she was doing. Often, in the past, she had distracted him by beginning to talk about a problem she was trying to avoid and then going onto another subject. It was usually highly effective because he normally didn't want to talk about whatever it was either. This time he knew he had to find out what had happened and her attempted sidetrack wouldn't work.

"No. Close the door," he told her and she did so. She appeared to understand that this matter was serious and once the door was secured she sat on the bed, close to him so they could talk without being overheard.

"When he is recovered, Piecrust will be subject to a disciplinary hearing about what happened earlier and I have to defend him, though I don't think there is any defence. You have to help me by telling me what happened. I'm only getting half the story of what Piecrust did and I need you to tell me everything you can remember." Keeping his voice low, he injected a note of authority.

Biting her lip she raised her large eyes until they met his. Her gaze dropped slightly as she noticed his expression but then a cunning smile crossed her face. "He's in bad trouble isn't he? I'll tell if you tell me what happened to your foot. Everyone here knows that Captain Casanova helped you get here and that you stopped swearing once he started to help. Did you really try to punch Dizzy Izzy? I don't believe it."

Who was Dizzy Izzy? Then he guessed that she as playing with Assistant Captain Ise's name. Dizzy Izzy didn't suit her. And Captain Casanova? He wondered what Kyoraku would think of that title.

Directing his attention to her question he speculated if it mattered if he told Yachiru that he had a few problems to sort out with Atonomatsuri. He wouldn't tell her the reason. No one else must know who fathered Piecrust, especially the idiot himself.

"You tell first. Come on, kid."

"Well, Lolly said she'd help wash my hair because of..," she faltered slightly.

"Because of the paint?" It seemed an obvious reason.

Touching her hair she made a face as her hand encountered the tacky patches of paint. "Yes. Anyway, we went to the bathhouse and I took off my shoes and socks. Chesty was already there and was undressing. Lolly had taken off her Captain's coat and was undoing her plait when Captain Fun came in talking about how difficult it was to prepare a case in such a short time. She wanted to have a bath so she could relax after all the work. Chesty was unhappy with the Crimson Kamikaze for some reason. I think he was goofing off and her Captain insisted she had to work. I think Captain Frosty was annoying her as well because she said something about humourless nobles. Then she said she wanted a bath because much she hated being in the same room as the Clown Captain and it made her feel dirty to be near him"

Zaraki nodded. He didn't like being near Kurotsuchi either. Being trapped in a room trying to work out a defence with Hitsugaya, Abarai and Kuchiki wouldn't be pleasant. Having the added detraction of having Kurotsuchi there as well would make him want to kill someone. Kuchiki could be such a joyless son of a gun even on his good days. But then he'd be helpful in developing a defence. Maybe, if he approached him correctly, he might help with Piecrust's defence. Given their past history he wasn't sure if the 6th Division Captain would be prepared to help unless he felt he owed the other party. He'd get Madarame to talk to Renji to see if he had any ideas, but that would have to wait.

"Because Clowny wouldn't stop nattering, or complaining, they eventually decided to have a break. That was why Chesty was there. Captain Fun said that Captain Lucky and she had worked out the prosecution already because there was so much evidence. Then she began to talk about how she wished Yoruichi would come to the hearing. She's sure she would be interested, but I don't see why."

Zaraki nodded. There must have been a chat fest in the bath house.  Soi's adoration for her former captain didn't seem to fade, and he wondered what she was doing with the doll he'd given her made in Yoruichi's image. An image of her hugging the doll close disturbed him. She should move on and form other friendships and then he felt a slight touch of unreality.  He wasn't going to start giving other people advice.  "Who's Captain Lucky?"

"I'm not really happy with that name. Lucky because of the number 13, of course. I could call him Baker, because of Baker's Dozen, but Lucky will do for now."

She was straying from the point again, but he had asked the question so he couldn't really blame her. He didn't think Ukitake would like being called 'Lucky'. It might be a little cruel if he considered the history of 13th Division and the health of the captain. He remembered the time he had tried to persuade Yachiru not to call Yamamoto 'Odin' after she'd read some book she'd 'borrowed' from Ukitake. He knew that the old man wouldn't like it and it had been very hard to convince her. Pointing out that he had two eyes, not one, and that he didn't have ravens (or was it crows?) flying around him didn't seem to make an impression. At the same time she had called Zaraki 'Thor' and she had referred to Ichimaru as 'Loki'. Thinking that this was becoming annoying, Zaraki had carefully removed the book from her room and returned it to its rightful owner, hoping that its absence would cause her to lose the notion. Since then she often changed her mind about what she would call the old man.

Now he wanted to dig further. "Then?" he prompted her.

"I was taking off my sash when the door slammed open and Piecrust came in. He was very unsteady on his feet and he almost fell over a few times. He really smelled bad, Ken-chan, like that man, that Captain," she fell quiet and then blinked a few times as if dismissing her memories. "He wasn't making a lot of sense. He was looking at Chesty with a creepy smile on his face and I think he was dribbling. The he said something really rude to her and she looked very upset and I felt bad. I didn't have my shoes or socks on and I didn't want him to see my feet."

So far her story was matching Retsu's and he nodded, encouraging her to continue. He wondered what the jerk had said, but decided not to ask. Why Yachiru felt bad was something he'd ask later because it seemed important.

"Then he told me he'd wait until I grew up. Ken-chan! That man suggested I might let him touch me when I was older! I wanted to be sick on him. Then he looked at Lolly and told her he liked older women because they were more experienced and as she worked on healing people she was sure to be good in the sack. Then he suggested she might like to get together with him and Chesty for some fun. I couldn't let him insult Lolly. She's my friend," the genuine feeling in Yachiru's voice convinced him that the insult to Retsu was a major factor that had caused the attack.

No one else had mentioned that comment. Piecrust had really made a fool of himself. So far he had managed to estrange senior officers of three Divisions. This might affect Zaraki's relationship with them and while he didn't know the 10th Division assistant captain well, he respected and liked Soi and Retsu.

"I like Chesty too. She's funny and makes good jokes," Yachiru said reflectively.

"I thought she was a bit of a fool," Zaraki said slowly. He'd often wondered if that assistant captain had been promoted because of her appearance.

Yachiru shook her head. "No, she likes people, well men, to think she's a bit of an idiot. It means they expect less of her and she doesn't have to work too hard." The grin that appeared on her face showed her admiration.

"That explains why Hitsugaya hasn't replaced her," he said thoughtfully and was glad that he knew Yachiru's abilities. She might shirk work regularly but when she decided to help her astute mind would often find important things. He was sure if she wanted she could do the paperwork as well, but that particular argument had been lost years ago. "Now I think of it, I wondered why he insisted she help him with preparing the defence."

"That's because you're paying more attention Kenny. Many eyes go through the meadow, but few see the flowers," the vulture said in his mind.

"Flowers, again?" he snorted. "Maybe all the pollen has made a honeycomb of your mind."

Thinking about if further he was grateful that Retsu was still talking to him but as for Soi; he'd to talk to her later after he gave her some time to cool down. Zaraki became increasingly curious about what Piecrust had said to the 10th Division assistant captain. Now that other comment had been disclosed the one he'd said to her must have been even worse. But why had no one else mentioned the comment the fool had made to Retsu?

"Because Yachiru attacked him immediately and the attack was a distraction. Retsu wouldn't tell you because she found the comment intensely embarrassing as she is a modest woman. Where's your head at, Kenny? Aren't you thinking it through?" Atonomatsuri's surly tone echoed through his mind and he knew she was right. Soi wouldn't have mentioned it out of respect for the 4th Division Captain. These women stuck together.

"Then what happened?" He had noticed that he had to prompt her which was unusual as Yachiru usually rattled off all the information. She had remained quiet while he had been distracted by Atonomatsuri and it indicated that she was reluctant to continue.

"I put on my shoes and socks and tried to kill him." The answer was hesitant and Yachiru seemed to be concentrating on a sweet that she was unwrapping. As far as he could recall he had never seen her take so long to place a lolly in her mouth.

"You tried to kill him?" he repeated trying to urge her to continue. Piecrust should be dead if Yachiru was really trying. She was being very reticent and trying to get her to talk was making him feel less indulgent than normal.

Yachiru nodded slowly but emphatically. "Of course I did Ken-chan! He smelt of drink and treated me like I was a little kid. The smell made my eyes water so it was hard to focus. He was rude to Chesty and Lolly and I like them. They're nice to me and he never has been. I sort of thought he reminded me of someone when he came in, but I couldn't work out who it was and I don't want to think about him. He was so slow, but he kept lurching out of the way, but I think most of it was an accident. If Chesty hadn't got in the way he'd be dead. I know why she did it, but I wish she hadn't." Her voice sounded wistful.

Piecrust reminded her of someone? Damn. The smell of rum and the implied disdain might have been enough for her to recall their previous captain and she had already mentioned him because of the smell of rum. He had to defect her attention so she wouldn't make that connection. "The jerk probably reminds you of some of the other idiots we've trained. The ones you had to defeat to get their respect," he interjected quickly.

"Maybe," she paused and finally placed the sweet in her mouth. Raising her eyes earnestly to Zaraki she pleaded, "Ken-chan, can we get rid of him? Would you ask Long Eyebrows to move him on? Send him back to the Academy for more training or something?" The beseeching look on her face made him wish he could combined with his growing dislike for the man.

"I tried talking to Yamamoto today and got nowhere, kid. I tried but now I have to train the jerk, personally. To make it pleasant for me, I've decided to train you at the same time. But you have to stop trying to kill the guy. I know you want to, and no one would miss him, but the old guy wants me to work with him. Something about a special ability," he didn't want to say anything more.

"To annoy people? Is that his special ability because he really annoyed Lolly and she usually doesn't get annoyed with people; I mean except you, and the Clown Captain, when he's being particularly dumb. Why do we have to keep Piecrust?" Yachiru seemed too distressed over the need to keep the man. Was there something else there, perhaps a perception of who he reminded her of, or was there something else she hadn't disclosed?

He tried to laugh at her comment. "Yeah, I thought the same thing about his special ability, but I don't think that's it. How could he annoy a Hollow?" As he heard his mouth form the word he instantly regretted uttering them. The revelation about his previous existence had tainted his life. Now even a comment he'd have made without thinking made everything seem different. As he was a former Hollow and the idiot managed to annoy him that meant he would probably annoy Hollows. But did that work? He wasn't a Hollow anymore, he was no longer a thing that lived without morals or thought, damn it.

Rejecting that particular thought pattern he thought about Piecrust's ability to annoy even the most even tempered people he knew. Heck; the man could probably irritate fish if he tried.

Thinking about the situation he knew there was one way to get this moving a little. He'd ask Ayasegawa to talk to some of the most observant members of the Division to see if Piecrust had any friends and if so he'd talk to them to find out if the guy had any redeeming features. That was something he should do soon. They might know more about his skills and possibly provide a lead on that special ability, but from what Yamamoto said Piecrust didn't even know what it was. Irritating people couldn't be a desired skill, could it?

"Okay, Ken-chan," she sighed sadly. "I want to get more training and if you have to train that person I want to help you. How long do you have to train him for? And do I have to help in preparing for the hearing against him?"

"No, because you'll be helping Retsu and Soi. And I have to train the jerk until he can fight," Zaraki responded knowing that it might take some time.

A small giggle escaped Yachiru's mouth and he looked at her, startled that she found anything about the situation amusing.

"Until he can fight what? Win a battle against a moth? Does he have to be able to defend himself against a kitten?  Or does he actually have to fight?"

An unwilling smile formed on Zaraki's face at her pointed comments. "We'll start with simple stuff. Maybe make sure he can handle a piece of paper without getting a paper cut and then expand his training from there," he rejoined.

Yachiru frowned and shook her head sternly. "I don't know if he'll ever be ready for that."

Zaraki laughed loudly at her solemn tone and expression and then became serious. "I don't know why the old man wants me to train him. I learnt to fight long before we got to the Academy. How do I teach something that I learnt on my own? And why do you want me to train you? You managed to pass those Kendo classes, but they were wasted on me. What can I teach you that you don't know?"

Observing him closely his assistant captain shrugged. "No one except Ichi beat you, and that was because he cheated. You're really strong Ken-chan, but it's not just that. When you fight you're never scared and you enjoy it so much. I want to be like that. I know Baldy and Pretty Boy like fighting almost as much as you do, but you seem to like it more." She shook her head and then waved a hand dismissively as if trying to make the words disappear. "I can't explain it Ken-chan. I think it's because one day I want you to enjoy watching me fight as much as I enjoy watching you."

He made a small noise of disagreement. "If I'm not being forced to train, you know I prefer to fight rather than watch."

"But you watched Captain Frosty fight the Crimson Kamikaze,' she protested. "And Baldy fight…."

"I didn't have a choice,' he broke in before she could continue to list all the fights in which he hadn't been able to participate. He didn't want to hear about it and he was feeling the need for a good mindless brawl against a competent opponent where he didn't need to worry about the consequences. All his recent battles hadn't ended well and while he longed for a real challenge he didn't see it happening any time soon. Fighting against the bird didn't count because she talked too much as they fought and tended to put him off balance, not by her abilities, but her words.

Nodding, Yachiru got to her feet. "If I think of anything else I'll tell you Ken-chan but I don't want to talk about it anymore just now. I'll go and get Pretty Boy and Baldy," she said quietly before she left.

'You hurt her feelings, you idiot," Atonomatsuri hissed in his mind.

"No, I didn't. And I don't want your opinion," Zaraki barked at her. He'd felt a flare of guilt at the way Yachiru had left the room but it was important he was honest with her.

He glared at the wall, willing all those unwanted emotions and thoughts to leave him alone. Wisely the bird kept silent as his face darkened into a scowl. Hearing footsteps approach he tried to shake away those last elements of doubt and watched the door avidly. The more people to distract him, the less he would be forced to rely upon the resources of his mind to entertain him and there was a chance that the big mouthed vulture would decide to lecture him on his faults if he had company. Then he silently admitted that wasn't true, but the more distractions around him, the easier it was to ignore her voice unless she felt particularly strongly about what she needed to say.

"You're not angry with me, Kenny. You're just using me as a scapegoat. Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for not having given it wings," The bird said with a sweeter tone than normal.

Hearing the stupid adage made Zaraki groan. What did she mean by that particular string of words? "So are you a tiger or a goat with wings? Can I choose, because I'd chose the goat."

"I should have expected some mindless sort of retort from you. Why blame me? You know more than you did before…" she began to defend her actions but Zaraki's foot was smarting and he lashed out, at least in words.

"Blame you? I blame you for what you did with those fetid talons. First you go on that I have to train and then you make it impossible by stabbing those things through my foot. Why is it so damn important I train and learn to use you before this bloody hearing? You keep hinting that you know some of the future. Tell me or stop being so damned mysterious."

There was a brief but heavy silence and he could almost hear her take in the breath she would use to reply.

"Don't bother. Don't want to hear it, bird. I don't want to hear another tweet escaping from your throat today," by now he was yelling. He didn't give a damn if anyone heard.

"But, Captain. I don't tweet. Sometimes my voice is so delightful that people cannot decide which is more beautiful, my voice or my face," Ayasegawa said quickly, humour evident in his voice.

Zaraki opened his eyes which he hadn't realised he'd shut and noticed that he was no longer alone in the room. Coughing slightly with surprise he noticed his friends exchange quick looks and nod to each other before Yachiru shut the door firmly after looking up and down the corridor.

"Hey, Yumichika, quick thinking. Sometimes you use whatever is in that, allegedly, pretty head of yours," Madarame said pounding his friend on the back with his uninjured arm.

"I had to say something. With all those rumours the Clown Captain's been spreading we've got to be careful," his friend replied grimly. The smile he'd been wearing slipped off his face. "Especially if certain things are revealed at the hearing tomorrow."

Yachiru had climbed onto the bed and bounced excitedly, jarring Zaraki's foot and making him shift a little. "Stop jumping around, Yachiru."

"But I want to see Clowny get into trouble; I mean more trouble Ken-chan. I know Captain Fun and Captain Lucky will bring that man down and he won't be a Captain anymore. I wonder who will replace him," she said thoughtfully and then looked at Madarame closely.

Noticing her observation, the man began to shake his head and then laughed. "Not me. Never me."

"Or me either," simpered Ayasegawa prettily.

Overlooking the by-play, Zaraki focused on what his 5th seat had said. "What do you mean? Disclosed at the hearing? Did Nemu say anything about it?"

Nodding Ayasegawa pressed his lips together tightly. "The captain had compiled a dossier on each captain within the Seireitei. Nemu has seen yours and it's bad, Captain."

"I'm not on trial so it won't be an issue," Zaraki said. Even as he spoke he felt a slight tug of concern. What information could the devious creep have uncovered?

"From what Nemu said her father plans to turn this around and make it into a trial for your fitness to remain as captain," he was told.

Madarame, Zaraki and Yachiru looked at each other, confused. This hearing was meant to investigate Kurotsuchi's acts of treason and behaviour in planting the bug in the living quarters. How could it be used for anything else?

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

Okay, I panicked. The second anniversary of this story was approaching and I still haven't written a romantic spin-off. It may never happen and apologies if you are eagerly awaiting it. Let's hope you are enjoying this story enough without that addition.

The music I listened to for inspiration this chapter was 'Vulture Culture' by KillTV, an Australian band. Can you guess what made me buy the CD? As a bonus this group actually wrote a song about Noam Chomsky! Wicked. (If you don't know who he is, you should.)

A minor cliff hanger this time. The next chapter will be the commencement of the hearing (or so the plan goes). According to the normal way my plans work out it may not happen.

Thank you to the following for the reviews:

Cookbook24. Hope this satifies the craving;

Afrieal, I hope your feet have recovered;

spedclass, I'll try;

swordbunny4486, good;

Mizu1411, not so much anti-social. He just doesn't trust easily;

Lunatic Pandora1, thinking is very good; faint-love, I will continue writing unless someone stops me;

Vi, character interaction interests me too;

Stesuna the Dragon, apolgies for the fluffy moment;

Zurako, does your computer have Vista? Thanks for your kind words;

GinIchimaru321, Zaraki is more relaxing to write. He's not so noble all the time;

Kryadda, a crush? Scary thought;

Anthony May, Nice review. Can I have another?;

Gryphalcon, Interesting idea. And I like cryptic things which might explain Atonomatsuri;

Samebito Ryu, it's funny how fond I am of the vulture. She does have a certain weird attraction (Did I really say that?);

upandover, I try to update often.

Please review.  Otherwise I don't see the point on updating the story.

MS


	36. Teeming and Toxic

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Teeming and Toxic**

"Sit down, Ikkaku. I was only permitted to bring you here if I promised that you'd sit quietly and didn't get agitated," Ayasegawa scolded sweetly as he hustled the 3rd seat into a seat and forced him to sit down by suddenly kicking out his feet from underneath him.

It was effective. With an exclamation of shock, Madarame sat down with a loud thud, almost missing the chair, and began cursing as the movement jarred his injured arm. He grabbed the arm with his hand once he regained his balance, rubbing it gently as he scowled at his friend. "Wait until you're hurt, Yumichika. I'll mess up your hair and hide your secret cache of hair products. Then I'll ask the assistant captain to give you a new hair cut."

Clapping her hands together in delight Yachiru again bounced on the bed causing Zaraki to curse under his breath. Her movement caused the stitches to pull and he didn't want to go through the process of someone repairing them.

"Can that happen soon? I've always wanted to cut Pretty Boy's hair, but he'll never let me. I think he'd look great with a Mohawk or do I mean a Mullet?" Yachiru sounded excited as she continued to bound up and down.

"Stop bouncing," Zaraki muttered, but Yachiru didn't seem to hear him.

"There's a good reason why I haven't let you touch my beautiful hair," Ayasegawa raised a delicate eyebrow at his assistant captain. He shuddered slightly as he looked at her simple hair cut and tapped his chin thoughtfully as he changed the subject. "But we need to talk about what's important and I don't think changing your appearance is a priority right now."

Yachiru broke in eagerly before he could continue. "I want to grow my hair and get Ken-chan to plait it. Can you teach him? Do you think Ken-chan should plait his hair?" She leant on her knuckles intently. At least it meant she stopped bouncing.

Madarame laughed, tilting his head back as his throat worked around the escaping air, and pointing at Zaraki told him, "Yeah. I think it's a great idea Captain. Plait your hair and you can hang the bells on the ends. It might take you less time to get dressed and give you more time for fighting. You can be Rasta Captain."

Zaraki grinned without humour at his third seat, baring his teeth in an intimidating manner. "I'll plait my hair the day you wear a toupee and fake moustache. And don't make it the subject of one of your stupid bets with Abarai unless you want to be put on rations again, with no sake, beer, or meat."

Madarame ceased laughing and gulped nervously at the idea. Pleased, Zaraki nodded, knowing that the man was taking his threat seriously. Women plaited their hair and Tosen. He didn't want to be mistaken for either, not that anyone would.

Clearing his throat, in an irritated manner, Ayasegawa cast a quick, reprimanding glance at his friend. Apparently satisfied that he wouldn't interrupt again he continued. "Nemu told me that the Clown Captain has made a case for prosecuting you for the unlawful death of the previous Captain of 11th Division." As Ayasegawa spoke Zaraki felt the humour that had begun while watching his friends fool around fade. That man again! Why couldn't the dead stay dead and forgotten? The past was becoming too present. He'd thought that was behind him, but three times recently, twice on this day, he had again been forced to recall the death of the man. It wasn't that he felt any guilt about it, nor was he ashamed. The main reason he didn't want to think about it was it had been such a lousy fight. Hardly made him break into a sweat.

He wouldn't let the vanquished captain defeat him this time. Trying hard, Zaraki forced out a laugh and it rasped in his throat, sounding unnatural. Taking this situation seriously would be a mistake. The others looked at him, worried expressions on their faces, obviously thinking he had lost it, but then Yachiru, always ready to laugh and joke, began to giggle. Then she began to laugh uproariously and shook her head. Her laughter made it easier for Zaraki to continue to laugh and soon Madarame and joined in. Shortly all four of them were laughing, but Madarame and Ayasegawa did not know the full extent of the joke. Nor did Zaraki, as he soon learnt.

Shaking her head and wiping her face Yachiru smiled widely at each of them in turn. "That won't work. I checked all the laws, many times, when we got here. I knew Ken-chan was going to be a captain and I wanted to make sure it was legal. Ken-chan killed that man and he adhered strictly to the rules. I made sure of it. He even had more than the number of people required to witness the fight, plus one or two Captains were there. I know because I invited them. They kept to the back."

That explained a lot he hadn't known. He hadn't known about the Captains and wondered which ones she'd chosen. One day she might even tell him if he remembered to ask. "The old man wouldn't have accepted me if there was anything wrong," Zaraki grated. He remembered, after the 'execution', he had been brought before the Captains and questioned steadily, the same questions being repeated over and over. Speaking truthfully he kept repeating the same answers. Yachiru had impressed upon him the importance of the truth as it was easier to recall than elaborate lies. The whole thing had bored and irritated him so much he almost challenged each of them to fight him. He'd even been hauled in front of the Council and that had been even more tedious. Some of those people really liked the sound of their voices and seemed to take pleasure in saying anything, even if it wasn't relevant, but dressed it up in pomposity and verbiage that appeared to make it pertinent. If Yachiru hadn't been there to back him up and distract him he might have not fared too well. She prodded him awake regularly and he'd been standing at the time. After he had again been forced to repeat himself several times his promotion had been ratified. The monotony of the experience had made him force it to the back of his mind. It wasn't important, just a pebble in his path on the way to being the most feared captain of the Gotei 13.

"Not only that, he wants the laws changed so that all Captains' must have the ability to bankai," Ayasegawa added quietly. His eyes didn't leave Zaraki's face as he spoke, anticipating an explosive reaction to the news.

"That again," Zaraki sighed. He couldn't raise much interest in that topic.

The startled expressions on his friend's faces made him laugh. "The guy has mentioned it in the Captain's meetings, more than once. I never mentioned it because it never went anywhere and it bored the intestines out of me. When Tosen was there he'd immediately support the proposal and talk about noble causes or some other tosh. Captain Fon never agreed, nor did any of the others except Ichimaru, once. But he shut up pretty quick when Aizen glanced at him. It always amused me to watch Yamamoto when they tried to change his rules. He'd close his eyes and draw his eyebrows together. The creases in his face would get deeper. The fools forgot who wrote those rules in the first place and you know how the old man hates to have his ideas questioned."

"Oh," Ayasegawa said and then smiled. His expression of relief amused Zaraki.

"I thought you went to sleep in Captain's meetings," was Yachiru's input. "You said you did."

"I said I wanted to, but it's hard to fall asleep with your eyes open and while you're standing," Zaraki corrected her. Not only that but Yamamoto banged his damned stick every time he got close to catching a few minutes kip. The old man must be watching him. Before the traitors had left he'd wondered if Ichimaru was asleep as it was hard to tell what the slit eyed louse was doing.

Conversation became more general and soon Madarame began to look sleepy. Zaraki nodded at Ayasegawa who turned to his friend. "Time to go to bed, Ikkaku. The drugs have kicked in and you need your beauty sleep. It's a pity you can only sleep for the night. A week might improve your looks," the teasing tone in his voice roused his friend.

"I don't care if I look beautiful, not like some people who are obsessed only with appearance," Madarame jeered back. He still looked tired but as usual was unwilling to accept an insult from his friend. Ayasegawa seemed preparing to reply when Yachiru spoke.

"I wonder if Piecrust will be as pretty as he used to be," she said reflectively. She moved the sweet she was sucking from one cheek to the other and seemed a little guilty. Rubbing the back of her hand against her leg she seemed to notice the paint streaking her uniform once more and a small frown puckered her forehead. She picked at the paint abstractedly as if it absorbed all her attention, but Zaraki knew that she was using it to focus her thoughts.

Yumichika clucked his tongue and said, "Why are you thinking of that?"

"But it was the one thing he had," Yachiru persisted. She blinked and then ducked her head a she got to her feet. She went to the door and said "I need to have a bath," before she left the room.

"What was that about?" Madarame asked sleepily. He seemed confused.

"Conscience. Something that never bothers you," Ayasegawa said briskly and helped Madarame to his feet. They nodded to their captain before leaving Zaraki alone in the room.

Before he could settle himself into a different position, a nurse bustled in carrying a new pillow, plumped up and rearranged his pillows while not listening to his orders to leave them alone. He hated unknown people fussing over him when he was in bed. Most of all he hated pushy nurses who didn't listen to patients but continued with what they were doing as if the person was simply a dummy which could be moved at will.

"Get away from me. I can arrange my own pillows. No, I won't let you look at my foot. I want someone who knows what they're doing. Stop trying to touch me," he finally yelled at the nurse, wanting her to leave. Without meaning to he raised his fist, preparing to strike her hands away from him, but refrained. Retsu would be displeased if he attacked another of her pathetic subordinates. Looking at the creature, he tried to get a good understanding of her features so he could mention her to Retsu as a nurse who was bad with patients. That was the way she wanted to run things, so he'd comply, in this instance. He didn't know why this woman irritated him so much. He'd never met the woman before but instinctively didn't like her. For some reason he couldn't get a clear look at her face as she was wearing a surgical mask over her mouth and her cap was pulled low over her forehead. Even more abnormal were the heavily tinted lenses she wore which hid her eyes. Her voice was muffled by the mask and changed in timbre as she spoke to him. He decided she was hiding her face because she was so ugly.

She marched out and returned with a tray of 'hospital' food which she insisted he ate. One thing he really hated was when people watched him eat when they weren't eating. Moodily, he pushed the food around the plate, occasionally tasting a portion and making a face. Nodding, she finally left and he studied the food he'd been given. Someone had placed a large serving of natto on his tray which he didn't bother tasting. The rest of the food tasted strongly of bad miso and, for some reason, salty gravy. The amalgamation of flavours was not appealing and the few tastes made him decide not to eat anything more. The only thing he enjoyed was the tea which tasted like tea, a definite advantage, and it was hot. Draining the pot dry he decided to demand a refill of the pot and a bun, a rice cake, a rice ball or an edible meal. Not these slops that he'd been served.

Hearing footsteps approach the room, he looked at the door. Instead of the nurse, Hanatoro entered the room and after greeting Zaraki moved the tray examined his foot efficiently. "It is healing very quickly. Are you certain the injury happened today? If I judged by the appearance I would think it was at least 4 days old." Hanatoro lisped as he looked squarely at Zaraki.

"What? Oh, yeah. Happened today. I should remember because I was there when it happened," not able to resist the urge for sarcasm Zaraki watched the 4th Division officer colour.

"Is there anything you need?" he asked, obviously rattled by the dismissive tone Zaraki employed. The fact that Zaraki was glowering at him might not have helped.

"Tea. More tea and something that tastes better than that," was the demand as he indicated the tray.

A small grimace marred Hanantoro's face as he surveyed the tray. "Ah, the gravy/miso meal. That is no longer served after the near riot by your Division when the ryoka were here. I think you must have upset your nurse. But wait. This is not right. You should not have been served food so quickly and none of our cooks dare make this food anymore."

Stretching, Zaraki heard his vertebrae crack removing the crick he'd felt forming after that damned nurse had rearranged his pillows. What was the kid talking about? He'd heard some complaints about the food from Madarame and the others but he'd ignored them and no one had told him about the riot. Pity as he would have liked to join in and shake up 4th Division. A bit of mindless violence would have been fun at that time, or any time. But that was before he'd begun making all these friends, especially Retsu, and this kid was a sort of ally. He actually had begun to like his sense of humour, but he didn't want everyone to think he was becoming soft. It was bad that people knew he had a weak spot where Yachiru was concerned.

"So? I was served food early. Maybe she was scared of me. It's crap food anyway. Who serves natto? I'm hungry." Zaraki said wanting the guy to stop acting weird and get him some real food.

Grabbing the tray, Hanatoro dashed out of the room.

"What's the emergency?" The yell did not produce any answer and Zaraki grumbled and moved the pillows once more. One of them seemed wrong, it smelled awful and it felt like it was moving in his hands. He threw it to the floor and managed to find a configuration that suited him. Staring at the door he waited for someone to come and explain what was going on. He tried to get out of bed but moving his foot made it hurt. He was beginning to feel tired.

"Stop moving, fool. Patience is poultice for all wounds. If you keep your foot immobile it will heal quickly," Atonomatsuri scolded him.

Feeling a guilty relief that he was being told not to move, he relaxed and closed his eyes. The tiredness increased. It came over him quickly and sleep was claiming him. Everything could wait until he had a nap. Recently he'd spent less time snoozing because of all the stupid things that happened. Now he could sleep and no one would pester him to complete his paperwork, or train them, or whatever. With any luck he wouldn't dream of the Hollow again. The bed was comfortable and the pillows were now. In fact he couldn't recollect feeling this at ease in a bed that wasn't his own.

"Take off your eye patch immediately, Zaraki. Act quickly, think slowly," Atonomatsuri's voice was urgent and startled him from the slight doze into which he'd settled.

Exhausted and sighing loudly, he answered the annoying creature without yelling. "Take off the eye patch. Put on two eye patches. Use my will. You're telling me to do something again without giving an explanation. Now shut up. I'm trying to sleep." There was no point in keeping the frustration from his voice. On occasions she tried to help him, but he could never tell when that was.

"Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does," the bird muttered under her breath. "We talked about trust, remember?'

The reminder made Zaraki laugh harshly but it took considerable effort to force the laughter out. "You blathered on about it before. Forced me to admit something I didn't believe." And then she'd used it against him. It was something he heard women did and he suspected the female vulture would stoop to anything a woman would do. It didn't seem honourable, or fair.

"You've been poisoned," was the terse reply.

Poisoned? The last time he'd been poisoned the dratted bird's vile tongue had been the cause. She'd done it deliberately and nearly killed them both. Who would have poisoned him and why? He was tired and couldn't care, didn't care. A rusty chuckle emerged from his mouth. "Yeah. Someone poisoned me. That would happen in 4th Division," he said thickly.

The bird sounded even more exasperated as she broke in, "Last time you were in 4th Division as a patient, Kurotsuchi attacked you."

The heavy silence that followed gave him time to remember that she was correct. A great many events had occurred since that time and with his mind being fogged by sleep he'd forgotten. He closed his eyes again, ready to accept sleep. The Clown Captain was locked up. Being locked up meant he was no threat.

The agitation in Atonomatsuri's voice increased. "Listen to the sound of the river and you will get a trout. If you don't listen to me, we both die. Do you understand or do I have to tell you again? Remove the eye patch. Now!"

Lifting heavy hands Zaraki pulled at the patch and slowly removed it as he fought the tiredness in his limbs. If he did this the bird might let him sleep.

Before he could do anything more, or speak to Atonomatsuri again, Isane and Hanatoro were in the room forcing him to sit up and swallow some mess they insisted he take. After forcing it down his throat he felt a wrenching in his abdomen.

"What the hell was that?" he gasped. He felt like he was going to vomit.

"An emetic," Isane said as she thrust a large bowl in front of him.

He wanted to ask what that was but was too busy heaving the contents of his stomach into the bowl Isane was holding. Wanting to swear he had trouble gasping for breath as he felt as if he was slowly being turned inside out. Damn, he hated being sick.

"It's crude, but effective," he heard her tell Hanatoro. "Very clever that you noticed the meal could be used to cover the taste of poison but we don't have enough time to analyse what type it is. We had to rid him of it as soon as possible."

"Thank you assistant captain," Hanatoro answered quietly. "Captain Unohana will be very displeased that Captain Zaraki has been attacked again while in 4th Division."

"Yes. Yes, she will." The concern in Isane's voice was not lost on Zaraki who had finally stopped being subject to the clenching of his stomach.

She removed the bowl and poured him a glass of water. "I'm sorry Captain. We believe you've been poisoned. We had to extract it. Once we get the food analysed we will have a better idea of what was used."

Hanatoro proffered a wet flannel and Zaraki gratefully took it to use on his face and hands. All the activity had woken him up and despite having been forced to vomit he was still hungry.

"Where's my food?" he demanded.

Hanatoro and Isane looked at him, apparently astonished at his question. They exchanged a glance and Isane asked very reasonably, "Don't you wish to wait?"

"No." Why wait? It's not like he was going to get less hungry.

"Your stomach will be tender and probably reject food," Isane told him. She seemed concerned. "I'd prefer to wait until Captain Unohana returns and we can ask her…"

"You can ask me what, Isane? Is there a problem?" Retsu's voice came from the doorway.

Both Hanatoro and Isane coloured and again glanced at each other before they looked at their captain. Isane had caught her bottom lip between her teeth and it appeared she was thinking what she should say.

Impatient with this sort of behaviour Zaraki spoke. "I'm hungry and your subordinates won't feed me. And I want some tea."

Ignoring him, Retsu walked close to her assistant captain and steadily looked into her eyes. "Isane, what happened?"

Stumbling over the words, Isane answered. "We believe that someone may have tried to poison Captain Zaraki."

Retsu did not move, did not even blink as her second in command stated her belief. It seemed she was waiting.

"He was served the gravy and miso meal. We no longer serve that and he was also given natto. You gave explicit instructions that we never serve the Captain natto or rhubarb."

Retsu looked at Hanatoro who nodded in agreement. "We administered an emetic to the Captain and made him empty his stomach."

"Yeah, great place you run here, Retsu," Zaraki began, preparing to say more. He hated being ignored.

"Be quiet Captain. I'm trying to find out the facts." Quiet as her voice was, there was no doubting that she did not appreciate being interrupted. In spite of himself, he shut his mouth and let her continue. She was possibly still irritated by Piecrust's actions and blamed him, as his Captain, for allowing it to happen.

"The food is being analysed for poison, but there was no tea left to analyse," Hanatoro explained.

Retsu answered quickly. "Make certain everything is checked for poison, Hanatoro. Immediately," she instructed and he nodded, leaving the room almost running. "Tell me everything Isane."

"I don't know everything. I wasn't here. Hanatoro came in to check on the Captain and noticed he had already been served his meal. He thought it was suspicious, but when the Captain brought to his attention the type of meal he knew something was wrong. I think he acted without thinking and came looking for you but found me instead. Please, Captain Unohana. I tried to act in the best interests of our patient." Isane seemed distressed that she may have done the wrong thing.

"The poor girl doubts herself, doesn't she? I wonder why? Her Captain seems to have a lot of confidence in her, but she has so little. If you worry about what people think of you, it means that you have more confidence in their opinions than you have in your own. I wonder who broke her confidence." Atonomatsuri was musing aloud and he hoped she wasn't going to suggest he made friends with her also. For a bird who hated him, she seemed intent on assisting him in making friends. As the adrenaline rush began to fade he started to feel a little tired.

"It seems I must question you, Captain Zaraki," Retsu sounded very formal and her expression while appearing serene as normal did not hide her authority. Once more, Zaraki was reminded she was one of the original Captains and none questioned her power more than once.

"Yeah. Seems so," he said wondering what form the questioning would take. He'd let her lead this time, aware as he was that her ire against him was still very present. Yawning, he rubbed his chin.

Isane seemed to take Retsu's words as a dismissal. After dipping her head slightly at Zaraki, she left, looking even more worried as she tugged slightly on her small braid.

Retsu settled herself in a chair and regarded Zaraki with little pleasure. "In the last few days you have caused me more trouble than any of the other Captains. Now there seems to be another attempt on your life while under my protection. Please explain the events, if you would be so kind."

He couldn't miss the bite of sarcasm in her words. Keeping a firm grip on his temper he explained the episode. Retsu listened and asked the occasional question to clarify some details. His description of the nurse made her frown and shake her head slightly. As he spoke he found he wasn't speaking as clearly as normal.

"None of the people who work in 4th Division match that description," she said.

Zaraki snorted. He'd worked that out for himself, without the assistance of the bloody bird or anyone else. It was so damned obvious that it still annoyed him that he hadn't even questioned why this person had gone to such lengths to conceal the face. He'd dismissed it thinking that the person was very germ conscious and that wasn't too unlikely.

Retsu bent down and picked up the pillow Zaraki had thrown to the floor and examined it with a frown on her face. She quickly got to her feet and took it from the room. He watched her leave and kept his eyes on the door waiting for her return. He found he was blinking more and more often.

On returning a few minutes later drying her hands on a towel Retsu glared at him. "You have angered someone very much, Captain. I am unhappy that this person has chosen to attack you while you are in my Division," she sighed and rubbed her eyes tiredly. "I will ask for you to be guarded by some members of your Division for tonight. Please select those who will show the greatest amount of discretion. In light of this I may also be wise to offer your 3rd seat the same amount of protection. I wish tomorrow was over." The last words were uttered under her breath and Zaraki found he was nodding in agreement.

"What was with the pillow?" There had to be something wrong with it or she wouldn't have reacted that way.

"It had a family of mice living in it," Retsu said shortly. "Mice with lice. Not life threatening, but unpleasant, nonetheless."

Suddenly the room was full of male 4th Division senior officers who seemed intent on removing him from his bed. Before he could ask the reason, Retsu spoke.

"You will be bathed and checked for lice. Then we will move you into the same room as your 3rd seat. It will be easier to watch over you both, if you are together."

Zaraki immediately began to fight against the people trying to remove him. He wasn't managing to fight them off as effectively as normal because he felt waves of exhaustion overcome him. "No way. I'm not letting any of your perverted subordinates get their hands on me," he yelled.

She smiled at him and he stopped struggling at the malicious nature of her grin and because he didn't have the energy. "Iemura and Hanatoro will do an adequate job. I could supervise if you wish?"

"No, don't," he managed to say. The idea made him nervous. He hated the thought of other people bathing him, and he didn't want an audience, but a sudden rush of tiredness overtook him.

"Also, early reports on the poison tests indicate you won't be able to bathe or do much else. You'll be fortunate if you remain awake for the next few minutes. We're administering the antidote now," Retsu said. He felt a very faint pressure on his arm and then felt nothing.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

Ahem. I do not wish to relive the past month. Therefore no explanations will be provided for the late update. *rubs back of head* And this didn't have the hearing either like I promised in the last note, did it?

Now, if I can stop people from trying to kill Zaraki or me or Piecrust or Madarame etc maybe I'll get to the hearing next chapter or maybe it's a red herring. I wonder if Zaraki and Madarame will enjoy being room mates?

Thank you to the people who reviewed the last chapter.

Afrieal: Why do I keep doing that to people? Um, sorry about the spiced chai.

Swordbunny: I hope the Clown Captain is in big trouble.

GetCJC: Absolutely correct in noticing the rum. Heheheheheh.

Lightningstrxu: Due to family issues my time on the net has been cut back. I had to call in some favours to be allowed to post this.

Spedclass: Thanks

Cookbook24: Kill the Clown Captain? Hmmm. It has crossed my mind once or twice.

Lunatic Pandora1: Thank you. I try to be unpredictable. It makes it harder for the assassins to find me.

Imalex117: Well, to tell the truth, Atonomatsuri was describing Zangetsu, not Aizen.

Azuvala Assantri: Thank you. It's nice to know that people like the story without romance. (Phew).

Bastion05: Retsu and Piecrust? Not in this afterlife. Now I feel almost as sick as Zaraki.

Princess Lillibet: Study is important. But I'm pleased you like the story.

Dakyu: The hearing, when the plot finally gets there will have a lot more interaction with different Divisions. Always pleased to hear from you.

Thomas Hydraxus: One hours sleep? I bet the next day was fun.

WeaselNinja1206: Thanks for that. I can't wait for the next chapter either. I wonder what's going to happen?

GinIchimaru321: Mate. You know I'm still writing.

Mizu1411: Yachiru is cute.

Orangeclaypetal: Hollow to Shinigami. That would be a story in itself.

Blackdragonpi: 3.14159. Deep thought is the name for the computer in Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy. Love that story. Glad you like it up to chapter 10.

Stetsuna the Dragon: I didn't update as soon as I wanted to. Sorry.

Anonymus: Enjoyed every line? There's a lot of those. Thanks.

Markim: More Yachiru and Zaraki but more other stuff as well. Thanks.

Jakara: I like the maniac. Fun to write and I want to see how it ends too. (Kidding. I know). If you want to send a challenge, sure, but I'm cutting back on Fanfic to write original stuff. If an idea interests me, I might write it.

Please review.

MS


	37. Moderating Influence

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk)._

**Moderating Influence**

When he opened his eyes the next morning, he heard the measured snoring of another person in the room. The sun had risen and he felt; how did he feel? His skin felt slightly abraded as if someone had scrubbed it hard, but his foot didn't feel too bad at all. Moving his head, he noticed his hair felt wrong. It was tight against his skull and his scalp hurt slightly, almost like the hair was pulling against it. Reaching around, his fingers found a plait. Someone had plaited his hair! He sat up quickly, undoing the plait as fast as his fingers could move and then ran his hand through the hair many times. Satisfied that the offending hairstyle was no longer in evidence, he looked and saw that he was in the same room as his 3rd seat who was lying flat on his back, with his mouth wide open. Every time his chest rose a noise like a strangled snort emerged and as he exhaled he grunted. How had he managed to sleep through that racket?

"Wake up, Madarame. You're making a bloody awful noise." Zaraki spoke loudly, hoping that the noise would shock his third seat awake.

The snoring stopped as his voice echoed through the room. "You can't talk," the half asleep man replied.

Zaraki scowled at the man who still had his eyes shut. It wasn't his place to say anything. But it wasn't important. Today meant a big change and one that might make his life that bit easier. Ignoring the implied criticism and intimation that he snored, as he'd heard enough about that from Yachiru, Zaraki asked with interest, "How do you feel? Will you be able to be present at the hearing today?"

Madarame sat up slowly, his eyes still shut and a hand rubbing his chest as he yawned loudly. He winced slightly as he encountered the bandages and then nodded unhurriedly. "I feel better than I did. I'll be there. I'd be there even if I was dying." He opened his eyes and looked at his captain with clear intent. "It stops today. I want to be there to see the end."

The depth of hatred in his voice was unmistakable and shocking. Zaraki was aware that his 3rd seat didn't like the 12th Division Captain but wasn't aware that the dislike had grown so strong. Later, he'd find out why.

"Yeah, we'll get the scum and that will be the end of it," Zaraki said feeling the conviction grow within him and ignoring that slight qualm of doubt. There was no room for doubt; the guy had to be stopped.

"The end? I doubt there will ever be an end as long as the man lives," a cool voice said from the doorway echoing Zaraki's discarded concern. "Good morning Captain Zaraki and Ikkaku Madarame."

Retsu stood there her arms by her sides, her bearing as normal with her lips curved into a smile, but there was an air of expectation that Zaraki had not seen before.

"Breakfast will be served in 5 minutes and then I encourage you both to return to your quarters to dress. This is an official matter and we should respect the formalities. The hearing will commence shortly. By they way Captain, what happened to your braid?"

Without waiting for an answer, Retsu turned and left the room while Zaraki was trying to think of a reply. His hand had instinctively gone to his hair to seek assurance that the plait was indeed no longer there. Was she the person who had plaited his hair? He hoped not and felt a surge of anger that she'd mentioned it. Then he turned and saw a wide grin on his subordinates face.

"Don't say a word, Madarame or you'll regret it," he said as he saw the question forming on the man's face.

"But I only wanted…" he replied and then stopped as Zaraki's expression hardened even more.

"That's more than one word," dropping his voice to a more threatening tone, Zaraki began to get out of bed ready to cause pain for his third seat, but the arrival of food prevented him from acting on his threat. Later he'd explain to Yachiru that the way he wore his hair was his concern and his alone. She could do what she liked with her hair, but any further speculation or suggestions weren't welcome. One spurious comment and he'd ended up with a frigging plait! Next thing he knew somebody would decorate it with flowery hair pins and insist he wore a coloured uniform. There'd been enough changes in his life; he didn't require any additional influences to make it even more complicated than it already was.

"Stay still, please, umn, Sir. Captain Unohana ordered an especially large breakfast for you, with plenty of tea. I made sure that food you like was included. There's no natto," Hanatoro was polite and slightly desperate as he set the tray of food on the table. He kept his face averted and seemed interested in the pattern of the wood flooring.

Grumbling under his breath, Zaraki looked at the tray and without further comment began to eat, uninterested in why the guy refused to meet his glance. The food was much better than the previous offering, but he ate quickly, his interest in it secondary to his impatience to get to the important matters. Dressing took minutes as he fully intended to change into clean clothes before attending the hearing.

"Hurry up, Madarame. I have better things to do than watch you push food into that channel to your ever empty belly," he prompted his third seat.

Leaving 4th Division, Madarame, complaining slightly about being forced to eat so fast, they made speedy progress back to their Division.

"I'm going to have indigestion and my gut will probably make noises all through the hearing," he grouched.

Ignoring the moan, Zaraki walked quickly and bid his subordinate to get ready, before he entered his quarters, changed and commenced arranging his hair. The first three bells were tied in record time.

"You're not ready for this," Atonomatsuri sounded worried once more. For some reason her agitation made that earlier unease he'd felt resurface. Was everyone psychic now? The bird had pretended that before but it had to be rubbish. "Forewarned, forearmed; to be prepared is half the victory," she continued.

The sudden interruption startled him and made him drop the bell. As he was in a good mood, instead of getting angry, Zaraki sighed heavily and bent down to pick up the fallen item. Once again he tried to place it.

Again he was unprepared for the next sentence. "Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."

"Nor do you," he muttered under his breath. This time he hadn't dropped the bell, but the hair was now flopping into his eyes and his face and hands began to heat from the increasing agitation. Hell, he wanted to get this thing over so his life could return to some sort of normality.

Her voice shrill, Atonomatsuri demanded, "What do you mean by that?"

With an effort he secured the fourth bell before he replied. "You stick around even when I ignore you."

The vulture squawked loudly before recovering herself. "You dare ignore me?"

"I try damned hard to," Zaraki agreed. Hadn't she been listening? Had he ever pretended to be interested in what she had to say? Aside from the one or two times when she'd actually said something important. Those moments seemed to become increasingly rare.

The vulture's words screamed through his mind as Atonomatsuri insulted him, often repeating earlier invective. Her rage and outrage built but he blocked it out.

Again he'd managed to affront her. Situation normal. It caused him to wonder if she enjoyed feeling offended, if perhaps the emotion was one that came easier to her than the more complex emotions, like ambivalence. Being upset with him meant she could act superior and withhold information and he had begun to be confident that she did not enjoy sharing her knowledge. It was almost as if she felt every piece of fact revealed to him diminished her somehow. He didn't want to try to work it out because it would be a futile exercise and there were other, more important, things to confirm.

That might be one of the things he'd ignored. Resting his hands on the table in front of the mirror he gazed at his reflection, not seeing it. The bird hated him, whether that was in the past or present tense was unimportant. Neither of them liked the other, though sometimes he felt a grudging respect that she'd managed to make him think again after he'd so happily sacrificed the process. No matter the lures that had been presented to him previously, he'd managed okay without having to do more than use superficial thought processes. Introspection was for tossers, or so he'd said. Now he had to again re-evaluate a long term belief.

Atonomatsuri was instrumental in helping him gain at least a measure of revenge on the Clown Captain. Thinking about Atonomatsuri in conjunction with the man forced his to see something the bird had in common with Kurotsuchi. He gathered knowledge, facts, information and had to be forced to share the important things. It didn't seem to matter that it could benefit everyone, yet the man treated knowledge like it was a possession. Sharing caused it become less valuable. Knowledge that he kept and didn't share he could use as a bolster against the other Captains superiority over him, whether it was strength, wisdom, youth, personality or humour.

As he fixed the last bell on his hair he offered a sop to the spirit of his zanpaku-to. "Atonomatsuri, we'll fight again, after the hearing." That might satisfy her and he wanted to gain more skill in using the new form. It was time he mastered it, or he'd never reach bankai.

"I ask for an olive branch, he offers a leaf," the vulture muttered. "I accept, but only because I want to see the promised justice." The grudging acceptance was more than he'd expected.

Every time he remembered that it could take between 10 and 30 years to reach bankai he felt his jaw tighten. Thirty freaking years in the worst case scenario! But that wasn't true in all cases, there were exceptions. The kid Captain hadn't been a captain for 10 years and he'd had bankai before he'd been appointed. There was some rumour that the disgraced Urahara and that annoying orange haired ryoka had managed to do it within 3 days. That was more to Zaraki's taste. 3 days instead of 3 years or even 3 weeks. The major problem was how did he find out how to do it? Would the old man permit him to go to the human world or even contact the 'outlaw'? Maybe Ikkaku had some ideas. Or he could talk to some of the captains. Retsu might help, or even Soi. Soi owed him.

That hope lasted seconds. Not any more she didn't. That cursed Piecrust had probably soured that friendship and she had done what he'd asked, more than he'd asked by taking the old man to witness the evidence of Kurotsuchi's ambition. He didn't want to think about Piecrust, not now. The guy's actions had affected Retsu. She no longer seemed as friendly and that irked him. He'd begun to enjoy the evenings they'd spent with Madarame, Hanatoro and Ayasegawa, but those were probably over.

Checking his appearance briefly he placed his eye patch more firmly and nodded slightly at his reflection. Despite the events of the last few days he looked as normal and that was all that mattered. He didn't want the internal change to become physically apparent in any way.

Opening his door he wasn't surprised to see his cohorts awaiting him. His third and fifth seat looked grim, but Yachiru smiled at him before jumping on his back.

"Let's go," he said before leading the way. They walked in silence at slower than his normal pace and as they approached 1st Division he noticed they had been joined by other Captains and seated officers of from different Divisions, equally silent. At first it had seemed amusing that this hearing was taking place, but now, with the feeling of the ever present threat from the traitors and the knowledge that private conversations and moments may have been monitored, the mood within the Seireitei had turned sombre. Trust had been broken too many times. Another threat from within dampened the spirits. If Captains could be corrupted so easily, what did that mean for the ordinary Shinigami?

Since the day before Zaraki had been struggling against a heaviness of spirit. Damn, he was fed up with this. The hearing would drag on, accusations would be made and then counter accusations. More unpleasant secrets would be exposed to the unwary and finally, maybe, they'd lose another captain. Even someone as inept and unattractive as the Clown Captain was preferable to no Captain at all. The guy had no people skills, damned few skills that Zaraki could see but there had been some benefits in his research: his eye patch for one.

If there had been a moderating influence on Kurotsuchi; that might have helped. When he thought about it, he noticed that some Captains had a person close to them who provided the characteristics sorely needed by their superior. He had Yachiru who provided the intelligence and humour and she'd often step in and prevent him from making his worst mistakes. Kyouraku's laissez faire attitude was balanced by the strict attention to detail of his assistant captain. Hitsugaya's humourless demeanour was counteracted by the party loving and friendly Rangiku Matsumoto and Retsu's serenity met Isane's lack of confidence.

Even the traitors had been partially equalised by their second in command, but 12th Division didn't have even that. They had a man who was reluctant to admit that he might, possibly be of the same race as those around him and his chief subordinate wasn't permitted to do anything, except acquiesce to every demand.

He shook his head. Why was he even thinking like this? He should be concentrating on the hearing. Ayasegawa had been shaken by some facts that Nemu had provided, but Zaraki could not accept that any of the Shinigami would allow this hearing to be usurped by a man who aspired to take over the position of Commander in Chief. Those facts remained: the chair, the stick, the coat, they were all present. The monitoring of other people's lives without their permission or even the permission of the Council couldn't be overlooked.

"Do you think the Clown Captain will be wearing make-up today, Ken-chan," Yachiru asked. The voice was a welcome interruption to his thoughts that were becoming progressively darker.

He saw his 5th seat shudder and remembered his earlier request not to see the man without his clothes or his make up. "I don't know. It's a hearing. Maybe he'll have to wear the same type of clothes he wore before Urahara had him released. Pity we can't get Urahara back here. He could provide some explanations."

"Captain Kurotsuchi is still a Captain and will be accorded all the privileges associated with that position, Captain Zaraki, as any of would," Captain Kuchiki assured him solemnly.

Zaraki jumped as he hadn't noticed the man previously. He had to get the hang of shun-po. It would save on all that endless running through the Seireitei and might be the end of arriving late. "Uh, yeah. While he's still a Captain," he said, and tried to keep his tone flat. Despite his attempt there was a marginal emphasis on the word 'still'. He knew that Kuchiki would take his responsibility of defence seriously, despite his examination of the evidence. The man took everything seriously. Why he had sought out Zaraki, he had no idea.

"Oi, wait up, Captain," called Abarai from some distance behind. "I can't keep up with you."

"That was my intention," the dark haired noble said very quietly and Zaraki was amazed to hear a note of humour in his voice. That comment proved more interesting than expected and he resolved to try to find out more, but later. He glanced at Madarame, but it was evident that he hadn't heard it, nor had any one else.

"I look forward to cross examining you later, Captain Zaraki," Kuchiki continued smoothly. "I'm sure your answers will provide enlightenment and entertainment."

Stifling a groan at the thought of the questions that could be asked Zaraki replied, "Yeah. I'll see if I can slip in a joke or two."

"See that you do," and with that the Captain stopped walking, allowing time for his assistant captain to draw near.

Not sure what to do, Zaraki walked on. While he knew the day might provide inconvenience he wanted it over so that all the problems could be revealed. He wanted to spend time doing things in his Division: sleeping, in, dozing, taking a nap, getting other people to do his paperwork or looking for a fight. Maybe he'd even read a book or two.

"Did Captain Frosty make a joke? Can you catch a sense of humour and did he catch it from you?" Yachiru's mouth was near Zaraki's ear. "Or did he have it all the time?"

It was a very good question and made Zaraki consider his answer carefully. Was the man humourless because he felt that his position required that he act in that manner, or did he suppress his nature because nobles were meant to be expressionless, or what? He'd often wondered if the man was hiding something and this might be the very thing that he'd been trying to conceal. "Don't know," he replied shortly.

"It might be fun to find out, Ken-chan," Yachiru said quietly. "Is anyone here really as they seem?"

That comment made him straighten suddenly, so much that Yachiru complained that she almost lost her hold on his shoulders. If Atonomatsuri had asked that question, and she might have, he would have dismissed it as another ploy to confuse him or deflect his attention to something else. When Yachiru asked a question like this it made him consider the answer because she would often notice matters he might dismiss. He wasn't the same man as he appeared; in the last week he had changed into a person he wasn't positive he'd recognise, but most people wouldn't know.

"You don't have time to contemplate your navel," he heard Atonomatsuri scold. "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become."

He felt an overwhelming desire to shake his head and keep shaking it until he could forget what she'd said. For once it actually seemed appropriate, especially after what Yachiru had mentioned, but the vulture was also correct. This wasn't the time to get involved with an internal discourse on the nature of personality and how thoughts could frame and change the person. Maybe that was Kurotsuchi's problem, he never thought past himself and that form of blindness could only increase with the passing of time. A stab of recognition made him uncomfortably aware that the same description may have applied to him only a short while previously.

"Not completely. You have always cared for Yachiru," Atonomatsuri reminded him, apparently in tune with his thoughts.

The shock that accompanied the reminder took him into the room appointed for the hearing. It was not Yamamoto's office, but another room that Zaraki had not entered previously.

There were chairs and tables, long benches were pushed against the wall and the central table, facing two others, had the 1st Division Captain's chair behind it. Zaraki and his officers were directed to sit in a specific zone. He caught sight of the Captain's assigned to prosecute and defend and they were seated at the front behind the two tables. Fortunately it was a large room with double doors that were opened to allow the air to circulate freely. Flowers had been placed on the tables: white iris on the prosecutor's tables, yellow chrysanthemums on the defence. Small, fragile crimson orchids with some decorative fern stood in a slender vase on the Captain-General's table.

"Why orchids, Ken-chan? They don't seem like his flower at all. I would have thought something more masculine, like cornflowers or those ugly long life flowers. Or maybe a kangaroo-paw." Yachiru, eyes wide, was staring at the flowers in astonishment.

"Is it important?" he asked gruffly. He didn't care if they'd decorated the tables with yards of crepe paper and streamers. Flowers just added a hint of adornment to a room that was noticeably bland.

Yachiru subsided under the hard note in his voice.

Where had that anger come from? The kid had asked a simple question and he'd almost yelled at her. He sat, shifting impatiently as his skin hung askew on his bones, feeling like it belonged on another frame. It was rare that he had the sensation that his skin was trying to reject the muscles, veins and bones that lay beneath. The only other time he could recall the experience being this intense was a long time ago, when he was entering the Academy. At that time he was sure he was making a mistake. It had taken a stern will and firm resolve to enter those doors instead of picking up Yachiru and running in the opposite direction.

Hell, a man could get scared at least twice in his life.

If he was chucked out of the Seireitei he could survive in the stews of the Soul Society. His skills were greater, people would recognise him and he could get work as a mercenary, perhaps get a cushy place guarding one of the noble houses. Yachiru wouldn't suffer; he wouldn't let her suffer because she would insist on coming with him, even if he told her to stay behind. If he got a undemanding guards job she could take it easy, maybe even have a childhood, what was left of it.

The threat of execution didn't daunt him, except he wondered what would happen to Yachiru. Would Madarame and Ayasegawa take care of her? Would her position be taken from her because of his actions? The kid was blameless and he'd tell any scum bug who thought otherwise. She had to be taken care of, no matter what happened to him. He'd make then swear to take care of her until she was old enough to fend for herself. No, better than that, he'd extract the promise from the old man. He owed him anyway.

"Ken-chan, let go of my hand. You're squeezing it too tight," Yachiru squeaked in his ear.

Automatically he released his hold on what he had thought was the handle of his zanpaku-to. Turning he stared down at his assistant captains face. She stopped rubbing her hand and looked at him curiously. "Why were you holding my hand? You were clutching your zanpaku-to and then suddenly you grabbed my hand and started muttering to yourself. Is there something wrong, Ken-chan?"

"Vulture, explain yourself," Zaraki bellowed within his mind. "What are you trying to do?"

"Reminding you of what's important, fool," Atonomatsuri's voice almost purred. "Getting scared for no reason. Where's the fearlessly brave, or is it brainlessly fierce, Captain Zaraki now, Kenny? You don't care about yourself, we've already established that, but try to keep it together for the one person who matters."

"I am," Zaraki growled back, infuriated that he could be so easily influenced by the creature.

There was a heavy pause and then the bird cleared her throat meaningfully. "Look Zaraki, if this goes the way I think it will; I want you to follow my instructions. I'm asking you to, well, um, you see, ur. To put it another way, um, ur, ugh, ub..."

"Spit it out, or have seeds got caught in your craw?" He wished she'd get on with it instead of using meaningless sounds staring with 'u'. She hadn't even managed to insert an adage but few of them consisted of half words and gurgles.

"Glug," she said in reply.

"And you talk about my vocabulary! Have I been reduced to listen to you overuse a single vowel, or are you going to tell me what you want to say? Get on with it or the hearing will be over before you manage to work your way onto the next vowel. I suppose that would be 'a'." Was she going to start with argh, ag, ax or was she going to actually say something intelligible? The room was filling rapidly and he didn't want to be engaged in a meaningless conversation with the dingbat spirit of his zanpaku-to when the fireworks commenced.

"Humph. Ungh."

Had the bird bought the vowel and wanted to make certain that she got her money's worth? Would she, in his lifetime, actually say what she wanted or was that not possible?

The she said two simple words which explained the trouble: "Trust me."

There was no doubt in his mind what she meant. Atonomatsuri, a pain in his neck since she began speaking to him, wanted him to trust her by acting on her instructions without explanation.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to trust you, follow your instructions, no matter how featherbrained they seem, without question and immediately. Does that cover it, you quilled monstrosity?" Zaraki thought he was being polite. He'd been told once, and only once by some jerk who was trying to motivate him, to make it clear you've understood the speaker, though how any one else would have understood the strangled sounds she'd been making he didn't know. If she knew he'd understood she might not have to repeat what she'd said and that could only be good.

"There's no need to be insulting. An injury is sooner forgotten than an insult." The protest was much less vehement than customary and lacked the conviction that she normally expressed. Was the bird feeling worried about whether he would accept, or was she nervous?

"Whatever. Was I close to what you were trying to say?" The bird would go off on a tangent if she was on a merry-go-round. He shook his head at the notion. Prolonged exposure to Atonomatsuri was affecting his brain and not in a good way.

"Yes," was the grudging agreement?

"You've got thirty seconds to explain why," Zaraki offered in the spirit of kindness. Not that he was being kind, but he didn't believe the bird could explain anything in less than five minutes, give or take, dependent on insults and adages.

"I can't," the voice in his head wailed. If he could see her, he was sure she'd be wringing her wings, or at least waving them around and knocking over the furniture. It'd be hard for a bird to wring its wings, might be impossible. She seemed genuinely upset.

"Too bad," Zaraki settled down and began to block out her voice but a few words he'd waited to hear passed the blocks easily and he caught a few fragments of the sentence.

"Help… bankai… soon," his attention was now fully fixed on the bird.

"Repeat that," he said. He couldn't believe it would happen this easily.

"You heard me the first time and I meant exactly what I said." Her tone was firm and it was obvious she knew that he wanted whatever it was she had offered.

"Indulge me. Tell me once again," he said.

"We've run out of time. Do you agree?" the bird was urging him with a promise that he hadn't heard of something that sounded too tempting to pass.

"Hell, to reach bankai I'd even be prepared to kiss your beak."

There was a short but heavily strained silence.

"We are agreed. He who cannot agree with his enemies is controlled by them. When the time comes you will trust me and follow my instructions." Cold and precise the clipped words outlined his part of the bargain.

Zaraki nodded. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." He hadn't lied. He would have been prepared to kiss her beak and groom her feathers if he got to bankai. Her jabber didn't register that much as he was caught up with new possibilities.

"We will have to work closely together," her voice advised as his mind pictured him using his bankai and wiping all traces of Aizen from Hueco Mundo or wherever the heck he was. Obliterating that son of a Yemenite dung beetle might help restore some of the lost pride of the Seireitei and it might be fun.

"Fine," he agreed quickly. Tosen having justice served on him, bankai style. No, the guy wasn't worthy of his bankai. He'd let Yachiru take the guy out, ur, kill him. His mind was throwing all manner of strange images at him now it had been roused by the hope of progression to bankai and was doing too much free association. Yachiru would never be allowed to go anywhere with a traitor.

"Focus, Zaraki. People are wondering why you're laughing, even quietly. You have to concentrate on these proceeding so I know when to, I mean we know, when to act."

The reminder was timely. Yachiru was nudging him hard in the ribs. A slim index finger was pressed to her lips as she tried to get him to remain silent. Looking up he noticed that Yamamoto was entering the room, followed by the prisoner.

The hearing was about to commence.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

On occasions I feel that I should attribute some of the adages or quotations that Atonomatsuri makes. For example "All that we are is a result of what we have thought…," is a quotation from Buddha. As you may have recognised, some of the quotes used are from a variety of profound minds.

When I was revising this, prior to completing it I got slightly overexcited. I blame the season, Summer, and possibly because I've been looking forward to writing about the hearing for some time. In addition, I'm going overseas later this week, as is normal for January. Please excuse any overt dribbling and sounds of frenzied packing.

The comment about buying the vowel and getting the money's worth is a reference to 'Wheel of Fortune', a game show I have, on occasions, been forced to watch. I apologise for the popular culture reference, but at least it wasn't romance.

Due to limited time I can only say Happy New Year and thank you to those kind people who have taken the time to review.

Please review.

MS


	38. Delta MkII

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). _

_**Warning**__: There may be a few spoilers in this chapter._

_This chapter is dedicated to the people in Queensland and Victoria in Australia, my country. Queensland has suffered some of the worst flooding in decades and the bushfires in Victoria that have so far claimed over 130 lives. _

**Delta MkII**

"The orchids were meant to be on this table. I chose them specifically and placed them here, earlier. I put the other flowers out, just to be nice because this room is so dull. Someone moved them," he heard the 10th Division second-in command tell her captain. She kept her voice low, but it was audible to those sitting near by and Zaraki could tell she was unhappy, and not just about the switch.

"They are flowers, Matsumoto. Mere decorations. It doesn't matter on which table they are placed. You can still admire them and block out the proceedings as you planned to do, but please refrain from talking to me unless it's relevant," the short, sharp reprimand from Hitsugaya quelled his Assistant Captain, but a dissatisfied look crossed her face as she looked with longing at the orchids.

The placement of the flowers now made more sense, but all the same it was strange that a Shinigami would be bothered to change the flower arrangements. True, Zaraki hated chrysanthemums, but what were flowers? An (occasionally) scented, ornamental weed that might be eaten, if you were desperate and it wasn't poisonous. Some gardeners, obviously people with too much time on their hands, would breed out the scent of the flower trying to get a new colour. What was the point in that? The scent was more important than the sight because the scent could carry further and the combination of both could be pleasant.

What the hell was he thinking? Flowers? Now? Pleasant? This was absurd. He had more important things to concentrate on than considering floral arrangements; for example the outcome of this hearing or where he would go after the hearing. He had a distinct impression that he would probably wish to drink some sake or even some beer after the hearing finished today. Maybe both; but not in the same glass. There were limits to how low he was prepared to sink and while he'd seen Madarame drink the concoction as a bet, he'd also seen the consequence within a few hours. A few glasses of the stuff and Madarame's skin had gradually become a waxy colour and sweat beaded on his forehead. Then his eyes had become extremely bloodshot and he had complained of the fur that he felt growing on his tongue. He'd stuck his tongue out insisting that his Captain observe the growth of the fur. After a glance, Zaraki had told him that he should take a long drink of water and an even longer walk.

The bets! Zaraki suddenly remembered that they were still at the beginning of a set of complicated bets between Madarame and Abarai. So far he thought two of them had been completed but if there were five bets that meant three more could happen at any time. He hoped neither of the idiots decided that the hearing was an excuse to try for the next one.

While the 10th Division Assistant Captain had become quiet, but still looked dissatisfied, he noticed Abarai was talking very quietly to his Captain. His face was more animated than normal and he occasionally flashed a small smile. Kuchiki looked bored and raised an eyebrow in an inquisitive manner more than once.

"Kindly cease your attempts at humour, Assistant Captain Abarai," he finally said. "They are neither amusing, nor enlightening and I believe we should direct our attention to the Captain General as he has now arrived," was the cutting reproof.

Madarame seemed to hear this and Zaraki heard him grunt in approval. "He's trying too hard and in the wrong place," he said aloud. He nodded in satisfaction, rubbed his arm carefully and glanced toward his captain only to notice he was being observed. Blinking in shock he shot a look at Abarai and then grinned sheepishly.

"A stupid place and time to try to fulfil a bet, eh, Madarame," Zaraki couldn't prevent the observation.

"Ur, yeah. It's one he can't win."

"Silence," the 1st Division Assistant Captain Choujirou said loudly and raked the room with a chilling look. "This is a solemn hearing, not a place to tell jokes or have a discussion about irrelevant matters."

Did the bet have something to do with making Kuchiki laugh? If Abarai had taken that bet there was little chance he would succeed. The only way to make that cold fish laugh would be to … as he tried to think of any method of forcing a laugh from Kuchiki he was thwarted by the lack of potential. Would it even be possible?

While Zaraki was distracted by the likelihood of making the noble Captain laugh, Choujirou turned to Kurotsuchi. "You may sit at the table with your defence team. If you speak out of turn you will be removed until you are required to provide your evidence."

"I object," Captain Kuchiki said before the prisoner could speak. "As his future rests on the results of this hearing, Captain Kurotsuchi should be present throughout." His firm tone indicated that he was prepared to delay the hearing until this was agreed.

"You are taking too much onto yourself, Choujirou," Yamamoto said. "I think you have read one too many English detective novels. This is a different system of law."

"The accused became over-excited when he was told of the trial. I fear he will interfere and complicate matters. We could gag him," Assistant Captain Choujirou's eyes flashed with satisfaction at the thought.

To Zaraki's surprise Captain Ukitake interrupted. "Keep to your role as bailiff, please, Assistant Captain. Can we commence as we have limited time and I am sure everyone would like this to conclude as quickly as possible."

"Agreed," the slightly hoarse voice of Hitsugaya concurred as he nodded his head.

Yamamoto banged his stick on the floor and glared at the 13th Division Captain. "I am the authority here, Captain Ukitake and I make the decisions. Do I need to remind you of your position?"

There was a terse silence and it seemed that many people were holding their breath as they awaited the fireworks that might erupt. Zaraki hoped they would. He knew that this was going to be boring and a screaming match might distract everyone for a while.

Ukitake bowed his head deferentially. "I apologise, Sir. My eagerness to proceed with this overcame my sensibilities."

Permitting the silence to lengthen for a few minutes, Yamamoto finally nodded. "The hearing will now commence. Assistant Captain Choujirou, read the charges against the accused."

The man stood at the front of the room, a sheaf of paper clutched in his hand. He swept the room with his eyes, placed his fingers against his mouth, cleared his throat subtly, then more loudly and commenced reading.

"Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi is hereby charged with the following:

The possession and use of treasonous objects;

Placing hearing and viewing devices in the quarters and offices of seated officers and captains without authorisation;

Inciting a fight to the death in a public place without due regard to the citizens and by laws of the Seireitei during a time of heightened security awareness;

Unlawful invasion of 4th Division on at least two occasions, causing acute discomfort to the Captain of that Division and then bringing frivolous charges against Shinigami who were acting in accordance to ordnances as set down in the by-laws of the Seireitei;

Continued accusations and incitement of a hate campaign against Kenpachi Zaraki, Captain of the 11th Division; and

Unlawful and criminal experimentation on subjects causing death."

As the charges were read, Zaraki became increasingly confused. The first two charges were no surprise, but what ordnances were meant by number 4? He'd never heard of them, but then he'd never studied the law. That would mean reading some of those boring books that he'd avoided since the Academy. Sure, he'd read sometimes, but only the things he wanted to read, not stuff about laws or legalities. Leave that to the eggheads who actually cared.

There was hurried and urgent whispering in the court as people assimilated the breadth of the charges. Some were more important than others and could result on the Captain being returned to the prison from which Kisuke Urahara had liberated him. At least one charge could mean the death penalty and some of the others would mean he would be stripped of his powers and returned to Soul Society to survive as an ordinary soul. It would be hard work to prove his innocence of all the charges, especially the 4th charge as he had been the one to pursue it so avidly, resulting in the punishment of Hanatoro and Ayasegawa.

Shooting a glance at Retsu, it began to dawn on Zaraki why the Captain General had asked her to visit him the previous evening. She must have done her research and invoked the charge against him. Until now it had not crossed his mind that Retsu could hold a grudge or even appear slightly vindictive, but then he remembered how she had mentioned the man had been invading her personal space and requesting dinner invitations. There was obviously more there than he had guessed.

"I reject the last 4 charges," Kurotsuchi said, his voice wavering.

"The man's not shrieking, at least not yet," Atonomatsuri said. "You'd expect him to reject the charges, but maybe he made a mistake. He shouldn't be talking. The rest should be silence."

"I apologise on behalf of the Captain," Kuchiki said smoothly. "The last 4 charges have come as a shock to us all and I believe we need more time to prepare a case for the defence. He did not mean to speak out of turn."

"Yeah, right," Zaraki thought. "Kuchiki's going to have trouble making the man keep his mouth shut.

"The charges stand and you will be answer them on the evidence you currently have. We will examine the first two charges today. The accused will have to address each one, but I will allow you to select another Captain to investigate the charges, or your Assistant Captains may be excused now to begin their explorations," Yamamoto's voice was stern.

"Where's Captain Tosen when you need him?" he heard Kuchiki mutter. Then addressing the Captain-General had asked with due deference, "May I have time to confer with my fellow Captain?"

Yamamoto nodded, reluctantly it seemed to Zaraki and he noticed both the offence and defence seemed to be unhappy. From the looks they cast at their Assistant Captains, it seemed they did not hold much hope that they provide the information that was required.

"Sir, may I request the support of Captain Kyoraku?" Ukitake asked suddenly as his eyes lit on his Assistant Captain. A look of relief flooded his face as the old man nodded.

"I request the aid of Captain Komamura" Kuchiki said with resignation.

"Not much choice for the poor man, is there Kenny?" Atonomatsuri said with a strange note of enjoyment in her voice. "There's small choice in rotten apples."

At the same time Yachiru chimed in, speaking softly in his ear. "I thought he might choose you, Ken-chan. I'm so pleased he didn't. I hate reading those musty books. Their smell makes me sneeze."

The two comments coming together made Zaraki's teeth snap shut. Damn it, Yachiru was right. He could have been chosen, but that wasn't likely as he was one of the witnesses and so was Retsu, or was she? Weren't they all, to some degree, as the actions of the Clown Captain had an impact on all of them. Was the vulture implying he was a rotten apple? It'd be exactly the sort of barb she would use, if she wanted to annoy him, but she'd asked him to trust her earlier.

After receiving some comments from Yamamoto, the 1st Division Assistant Captain announced, "There will be a short recess. You may leave the room, but be back within 15 minutes or you will be fined."

Sighing, Zaraki got to his feet. Another damned delay and there was all this added stuff going on. "Let's get some tea," he told his subordinates. "These are going to be dratted, dry proceedings and I need to wet my throat if I'm going to have to sit here."

"We could have sake, or beer," Madarame began and then stopped, quelled by the looks given by his superior officers. "Tea sounds good to me," he hastily added.

"Yeah, tea. Rose tea for me. The taste is almost as attractive as my complexion," Ayasegawa said leading the way to the nearest tea shop. Zaraki followed, hoping it wouldn't be too crowded. He felt like eating something, knowing he'd get hungry during the morning even though he'd had breakfast. Sitting still and being bored made him focus on eating and he would convince himself he was hungry, unless he'd eaten very recently. If he became hungry he might either fall asleep or become surly and he felt he was already on the way to being in a bad mood. The night in 4th Division, the problem with his foot and all the other matters were forcing him into unfamiliar positions.

"Is that before, after or during the time you wear a facial mask?" Yachiru asked with interest. "Because when you're covered with that goop, it looks like your face is melting."

"Do you mind?" Ayasegawa sniffed angrily. "When you start getting pimples or skin blemishes from eating too many sweets, we know who you'll come running to for help."

"I can ask Lolly. Her complexion is so pretty and she has so few wrinkles. That's because she smiles with her eyes, rather than wrinkling her forehead," Yachiru was now focusing her teasing on the 5th seat. It might be because Madarame, her normal target was still recovering from his wounds, or her natural mercurial personality.

Madarame was laughing at Yachiru's comments and ducked from a slap aimed at him by his friend.

"Stop encouraging our Assistant Captain," Ayasegawa demanded. "You can pay for the tea and I've rethought who I'm going to invite on my break in the human world," he sniped heavily. "Ran looks in need of a holiday."

They were now seated at a table and hurriedly gave their orders. The shop was busy with staff bustling around supplying the needs of many Shinigami who had only recently been seated at the hearing. Unfortunately the demand for rose tea had been high and Ayasegawa unhappily selected plum tea which he viewed as a very inferior substitute from the expression on his face. Yachiru also chose plum tea, Madarame asked for Green Tea and Zaraki requested the strong Chinese Iron Buddha tea. As it contained almost as much caffeine as coffee, he hoped it would stop him falling asleep. It would really annoy the Captain-General if he had to wake Zaraki up to provide information of if he started breathing loudly. He didn't want the old man even more annoyed than he already was. He might decide to dump some other useless Shinigami in his Division and he had enough trouble with Piecrust.

Before he answered, their order was delivered. Zaraki poured his tea and ate whatever was closest. It didn't matter; it was only fuel for his body.

"Lotus root and pineapple. That's pretty strange, Ken-chan, but it's sweet," Yachiru said and quickly took the dish placing it in front of her, her large eyes warning the others not to touch. "I like it."

"I don't think that it would be a good idea to invite the 10th Division Assistant Captain," Zaraki said heavily. "Nor should you invite Nemu." He thought of a way of continuing to tease his 5th seat that might cause him the most amount of concern and would distract him from his conceit. "Piecrust needs a friend. Maybe you should take him."

Ayasegawa choked on the sip of plum tea he had taken. His eyes bugged out and he coughed, while covering his mouth daintily with one hand.

"Or you could take me," Zaraki suggested slyly, "or Yachiru. And I only remember offering you two days leave. I didn't say anyone else could go."

Nodding dejectedly and sipping his tea Ayasegawa agreed. "It was only an idea I had. I thought a visit to the human world might be good for Ikkaku after being injured and I was teasing him." Moodily he picked up a bun filled with pork and prawns and bit it. "You know how it is. These things are better shared."

Madarame's response was drowned out by the noise of the other Shinigami leaving. Madarame noticed, tossed some coins on the table as payment and they all left hurriedly. It was crowded at the doorway to the hearing, but people tried to enter and seat themselves swiftly. The captains were still conferring, speaking low and rapidly. Kyoraku looked perfectly at ease while Ukitake and Soi emphasized some point, but his Assistant Captain was taking rapid notes in an efficient manner. Komamura was asking heated questions of the prisoner and Kuchiki and making Iba write down the responses.

"Damn it, this is serious," Zaraki thought reluctantly and for a change found he wanted to talk to Atonomatsuri. She'd seemed amused by the whole thing in the past; maybe she could show him the funny side of it. "This is serious, just as Piecrust's hearing will be serious. I'd hoped this might end up being a bit of a joke, but now everyone's acting like it's a matter of life or death."

"It is. That man, poor excuse for a soul that he is, might die," Atonomatsuri said. Her voice carried none of the usual overtones and it reinforced his acceptance that his action had set off a series of events that could injure the man. Worse than that, it could affect the spirit of the Seireitei badly.

"I don't effing care," Zaraki thought with determination. "He was trying to get me kicked out and killed. He is a dangerous lunatic. I've killed countless others so I don't feel any guilt over this escapee from the asylum."

A rapping on the floor made the room quieten and the newly instructed Captains left, accompanied by their subordinates. It could be anyone's guess how they would be able to conduct their investigations with most of the witnesses being cloistered within the hearing and thus not within easy reach for questioning, but that was the situation. As the Captain-General entered and the last people quickly located seats, Zaraki finally looked at Kurotsuchi.

The man was glaring at him. His makeup was in place, his hat slightly askew, but the malice that glittered in his eyes was unmistakeable. A look of glee crossed his face as he noticed Zaraki's gaze and he mouthed something at him. Not being experienced at lip reading, or keen to find out what the man was saying, Zaraki spread his lips in an insolent smile and winked at the man. The outrage, that was the response, forced Zaraki to turn his eyes elsewhere in case he snorted with laughter. Did he seriously think he could intimidate the Captain of the 11th Division by looking at him? Hell, even if the guy was standing over him with an axe, he'd still find him amusing. He decided to look at Yachiru and noticed that the girl was also staring at the Clown Captain the edge of her pink tongue showing between her lips. Quickly she poked it out at the man while making a face.

Covering his face with his palm, Zaraki coughed and rubbed his eyes. The urge to laugh was almost overwhelming but to do so would draw attention to Yachiru. He coughed hard again while nudging her sharply in the ribs. All the time he acknowledged that Yachiru was perhaps responding as the situation warranted. The man had reverted to childish behaviour with the hate glare and mouthed threats, for he was certain they were not words of friendship, and then the outraged reaction to a smile.

Having buried himself in 12th Division for so long, perhaps he had begun to believe in that he was evolving into a god like being. Too many people inhabited this place with overbearing opinions of thief own superiority. What did it matter anyway? They were never going to be king, no matter what feeble ideas and schemes Aizen had formulated. They were lucky to be Shinigami within the Seireitei and separated from the unremitting violence and despair that was part of Soul Society. But mindless violence did still hold its appeal. When this was over he'd freaking go to the human world, despite the old man's prohibitions and find a few of those evolved Hollows and fight them. What were they called? Aaron-car? ? Whatever, it didn't matter. As long as they were more powerful and didn't die too quickly as he fought them.

There had been rumours of a mission going to the human world, but the hearing had become the focus of the gossip so he hadn't heard about any recent developments. If there was a party going, he'd like to join it, but given all the incidents in the last few days it would be unlikely that the Captain-General would send him. He'd probably send the one of the more favoured captains, Ukitake or the guy wearing the kimono, or even the child captain. Probably the kid, as a test to see how he handled the pressure of being out of his normal environment.

A sharp rapping recalled him to the events unfolding around him. "We will have order. Cease all whispered conversations or suffer the consequences," Choujirou ordered loudly.

Give the man any form of authority and it went straight to his head. He really seemed to be enjoying directing the actions and it was the first time Zaraki had seen him so animated. A slight pink was visible in his cheekbones and though he tried to hide it, he stood with more assurance in his normal ramrod posture.

As the whispers ceased the Captain-General stood. "During the recess it was requested that certain charges be withdrawn. As a courtesy to a Captain of the Gotei 13, it has been agreed that the last charge will be deferred. This serious allegation requires further proof and there are a number of arguments that in the matters of research all normal restrictions should be lifted."

There was a loud rumble within the room at this and a few shouted comments.

"Torture isn't research."

'I thought science was about observation, not causing pain."

"Let's use him for research. See how he reacts," the last was uttered by a familiar voice, but Zaraki resisted the impulse to turn his head toward his subordinates.

"Silence. There will be silence," the terse command from the Captain General made the room settle into an uneasy peace.

"Why is that charge being deferred? Wouldn't it be the easiest to prove? All the old man would have to do is get some of the 12th Division to report on what they'd seen," he furrowed his brow and scowled heavily as he thought.

"Yamamoto really has it in for the guy, doesn't he, Kenny?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" The bird had confused him with her comment. It seemed to him that he was actually giving the man more opportunity than he should, but maybe there was something more there. In looking at Kurotsuchi he noticed that at first he smiled and then the smile dropped from his face and he brought his hand to his mouth, rubbing his lips in a distracted manner, smearing the make-up he wore. It had evidently dawned on him that this was not the good news it appeared to be.

A loud sigh was followed with: "In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse."

He wrestled with himself. Of course he wanted to know what the vexing vulture was talking about, but maybe he could work it out for himself. Baiting a mousetrap? What did mice and cheese have to do with Kurotsuchi? The man was more of a rat than a mouse; a black, plague carrying rat that would spread disease and dissent if left free. Despite his attempt at working it out, nothing became clearer and he couldn't resist asking, "What do you mean by that?"

"Kenny, Kenny, Kenny! I despair of you sometimes. I thought even you might capture the subtle nuances of the old man's reasoning. If the Clown Captain is found innocent of all the other charges brought against him, which is exceedingly unlikely, he will be under investigation for his methods of research in a separate hearing. He **will** be found guilty. I wonder what he did to Yamamoto to annoy him so much." The speculation in the bird's voice indicated she had a few ideas which actions might have annoyed Yamamoto.

Zaraki's mouth dropped open as the full import of the situation was shown to him. If the man wasn't wearing any makeup he wondered what colour his face would be. He would know the extent that his research had crossed the line into something more than the search for knowledge. No matter how much loyalty his Division owed him they would not be able to stand against the questioning of the Commander in Chief. Every dirty, little, secret experiment would be exposed if Kurotsuchi managed to survive the first hearing.

"He's probably doing it to save time," Zaraki suggested. "That would take too long. Too many witnesses and I suppose hearing the details might make some people vomit." Having heard some of the rumours about some of the methods used had forced Zaraki to go and find a fight somewhere. That meant he went and got involved in a brawl with anyone stupid enough to look at him sideways. Fortunately Iba had been looking for a fight that day and had been only too pleased to spar, at first. He'd been released from 4th Division within the week after the fight and hadn't expressed any anger toward Zaraki, just a tendency to keep his hand on his zanpaku-to with a white knuckled grip when they passed in the street.

"Today we are only addressing the first two of the charges. Captain Ukitake, could you please explain these charges." Seemingly disgruntled that he had to hand over the proceedings, Choujirou bowed almost insultingly shallowly to the 13th Division Captain who bowed politely in return once he had risen to his feet.

"The charges are as follows," Ukitake said calmly. "The possession and use of treasonous objects; This amounts to finding within the accused possession and use a copy of the Captain –General's chair, coat of office with the number 0 on the back and certain papers which have since come to light. These papers fully explain the plan to reorganise the Seireitei once the author, who we will prove is Captain Kurotsuchi, had obtained power. A mitigating factor is no plan had yet been discovered on how he planned to gain this power. The second charge affects all of us here." He paused, cleared his throat and looked very grave. "The accused is charged with placing hearing and viewing devices in the quarters and offices of seated officers and captains without authorisation. This means that none of us have had privacy for some years and it is highly possible that many secret conversations have been violated by these devices. These charges are indeed serious and we will, with the benefit of evidence and witnesses prove that the defendant is guilty of all charges."

Rukia poured a glass of water and appeared to be insisting that her captain drink it. She was assisting him in preference to his two 3rd seats who had, so Zaraki had heard whispered, ended up in a shouting and pushing match over who would provide the most assistance to the captain whom they both revered. The incident had upset Captain Ukitake and he had asked Rukia if she could settle matters. Her stern reminder that the Captain needed peace and assistance shamed both Koutestu and Kotsubaki into silence and they had pleaded that she assist the captain with his investigations.

Both of the 3rd seats were sitting together occasionally jostling each other or making rapid whispered accusations. The both smiled at their Captain if he happened to glance in their direction and nodded at Rukia with a seeming tolerance.

Kuchiki rose while Ukitake was drinking his water. "We intend to prove that while the accused may not be completely innocent of all charges, there are extenuating circumstances which will make his actions easier to understand," he paused as there was an excited hubbub.

"I thought he had to prove the Clown Captain was innocent, Ken-chan. Is there a verdict of not very guilty or nearly innocent? I thought it was guilty or not guilty," Yachiru looked as confused as Zaraki felt. She twined her fingers in her hair, a sure sign she felt that something was very odd.

"I don't know," he admitted.

"In Scotland there is the verdict of not proven," Atonomatsuri told Zaraki.

That didn't help either. This hearing was definitely set up to prove at least a level of guilt, but he was certain that Kuchiki was being tricky. The man had a clever mind and might be planning to turn this around or even make them believe black was white or that Kurotsuchi was a nice person with only the good of the Seireitei as his main interest. He might have managed it if he had Aizen's zanpaku-to and had the ability to hypnotise everyone into believing the impossible, but he didn't. Aside from that, people had memories. They could recall events and weigh evidence for themselves and the possibility that everyone could be convinced of Kurotsuchi's innocence didn't seem possible.

Yet, there was one factor that Zaraki knew from experience. People might have memories, but memories could be short and important events might be forgotten or confused as other things happened. Hadn't he forgotten about being a….

"Still ill prepared to face the truth?" chided Atonomatsuri. "Truth fears no questions."

"We're in the wrong place for that," Zaraki sniped back. "I'm sure the Clown Captain doesn't want the truth to interfere with his defence."

The noble stood there, his usual dignity evident as he quietly regarded the people assembled for the hearing. "In times when we face more peril than has been experienced for over a hundred years, we need to assess the facts and act on the facts. Supposition, half truths, invalid conclusions need to be stripped aside and only the truth will remain," the Captain paused and again regarded the room with a clear, measured look. His next words almost made Zaraki forget all that had been said before. "To begin, Captain Kurotsuchi will remove his makeup and show the Seireitei his true face."

* * *

_Author's Note._

Going on holidays overseas always interferes with writing, as do any number of distractions. Hopefully the updates may happen more regularly. Now, if I can cure my addiction to _Lost in Blue 3_, I might spend more time writing.

The suggestions Choujirou makes about confining Kurotsuchi of course do not reflect English law, or any law I know of. It's a poor attempt at humour and possibly the last time I permit Atonomatsuri to include one of her 'jokes'. I sometimes wonder if the bird has any sense of humour but she threatened to talk to me, at length, so I caved.

The title for this chapter is from a song by The Orb called _Delta MkII_. It samples some words from the McCarthy trials and commences with 'The hearing continued as follows…'

Thank you to:

Afrieal I had a fun trip and spent too much money;

Chrosis: The shika is not really a shika but the blade gets really large and part of the too late power is released;

Spedclass: Hi;

Ancestor's Dragon: Zaraki and Atonomatsuri have a relationship? Um, please don't tell them. I hate to think of the consequences.

Swordbunny: I hope you find this interesting too

Cookbook24: At last, it's happening. I wonder what will happen next?

Woot: I want to know too, which worries me a little.

X-elemental: Aizen didn't give Mayuri any orders. Aizen set something in motion, but more of that later.

GinIchimaru321: I suppose this is uncool too because the trial still going on. XD. Sorry.

Lunatic Pandora 1: Neither can I.

Abhishek20: It's a scary thought, the bird and Zaraki working together, but it might prove interesting.

Shinkicker: Wow. Thank you so much. I hope you enjoy the update and here's some more story.

VLS: See, an update. I did listen to you.

ItachiJr08: I don't know. The idea for this story sort of came up behind me, beat me over the head a few times and then proceeded to change my life.

AmeKage: A bit later than I hoped for an update.

BleachedFighter: Eleven is a good number. So close to Elven.

Sirfatalpapercut: I hope the papercut gets better soon.

Gumbycan: I feel humble. A quick move to bankai would be wrong, and with the way these two get on, I think there'll be more trouble than Ichigo has with his Hollow.

Thank you for the reviews!!!!

Please review.

MS


	39. Masqueing the Paint

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). _

_Warning: Really laboured pun title. _

**Masque(ing) the Pain(t)**

Zaraki expected to hear a protest from Kurotsuchi, a squealing complaint that outlined how he resented the suggestion. He fixed his eyes on the man, waiting for the denial, the argument, but instead he saw the man's shoulder's sag. The man had known about this? And, more surprising, had agreed? Why? It seemed so wrong.

"There has been some speculation in the Seireitei as to the reasons Captain Kurotsuchi wears makeup which covers his face. In the spirit of honesty and to remove some of those barriers I have sensed, the Captain has agreed to show his true face, but only to the highest ranked officers. Those who hold a position below assistant captain are requested to leave the hearing for a short time," Captain Kuchiki said smoothly, ignoring the whispering that was continuing.

"Unfair," mumbled Kiyone, dragging her feet and looking wistfully over her shoulder as she left the room. "Why can't I stay?"

"I want to stay more than you," Kotsubaki whined as he gazed back at their Captain. "I don't like leaving our Captain alone. Someone should stay with him."

Whirling around Kiyone grabbed him by the ear, having to reach up due to the disparity of their height. "Why should it be you? I am more devoted to our Captain."

"I recognise our Captain's needs better than you. You don't fill his water cup often enough," Kotsubaki proclaimed loudly.

"We all have to go, too," Rukia reminded them firmly and taking her senior officer's elbows in her hand, she steered them out of the room, to be followed by the other lower ranked Shinigami. None of them seemed pleased to be excluded from this 'entertainment'.

Yachiru watched them go, a small crease in the middle of her forehead. "Why do they have to leave Ken-chan?"

Zaraki shook his head as he shrugged. "Don't know. Don't really care, but Ayasegawa looks like he's not sure if he should be pleased or disappointed."

His 5th seat was leaving with a mixture of speed and reluctance. He kept glancing between Nemu and her father but Nemu was leaning back in her chair, her eyes shut, either asleep or dozing, and Kurotsuchi was still facing the Captain-General. He whispered something to Madarame who raised his eyebrows in response and pulled him out of the room.

After the room had been cleared of all but the Captain and assistant captains, the 10th Division assistant captain handed some tissues and cream to the 12th Division captain. She was evidently trying to avoid any physical contact with the man and the look of distaste on her face as the man accepted the items from her was nearly comical. The face cream almost dropped as she let it go as soon as the Captain's hand was close, but he managed to grasp it before it fell. She cast an unconscious apologetic glance at her captain and sat down turning her body away from Kurotsuchi, almost presenting her back to Yamamoto.

"You could have handed those over to him," she hissed loudly at Abarai and earned a quick reprimand from her Captain.

"Matsumoto! You will remain silent until there is a need to speak," Captain Hitsugaya told her, barely raising his voice. She looked at him unhappily but did not reply and turned slightly forward.

"You agreed. At first you were supposed to remove the stuff for him, but you complained too much," Abarai hissed back at her, obviously trying to keep his voice low. He received a cold look from his Captain and bit his lip as he glared at Ran.

In the meantime, with a great show of reluctance, which was obviously not feigned, Kurotsuchi began to apply the cream to his face. The black swirled into the white, making his face appear grey and old. More cream was applied and then slowly, it was wiped off. As dirty tissues were placed into a bin, parts of the face became visible. Kurotsuchi kept on his hat and ear pieces, but the skin and facial features began to slowly emerge.

Zaraki felt a flare of regret as more of the face was revealed. There were no major hidden scars, no twisted and contorted flesh, no craters from untreated acne, no peculiar colouring. It was simply, a face. As more of the makeup was removed and the chin was revealed there were some weird indentations showing from where he attached his false chin covering. Idly, Zaraki wondered what the purpose of it was. Was it a fake beard like the Egyptian pharaohs wore to show their sovereignty over the populace? And the things he wore over his ears? What was their purpose? Were they hearing devices or some peculiar type of decoration to hide a deformity?

With a final wipe the last of the makeup was removed to reveal: an ordinary man. From the side view he looked slightly like Aizen, but without his charisma. On a signal from Kuchiki, the Clown Captain stood and faced the people remaining in the room. His tightened lips betrayed his anger at having to subject himself to the eager gaze of people who had never beheld his true face, or who had once seen it and forgotten. The only remarkable thing was the glow of hatred within his eyes as he beheld the people staring at him with fixed intent.

And it wouldn't be difficult to forget his face. It was unremarkable. With the absence of the black bisecting the white, his eyes seemed small and unremarkable, not the fiendish widely open pools of insanity he'd thought they were. The nose faded back into the shape of the face and was shown to be small and undefined. Not like the beakish protrusion Zaraki had always imagined it to be. He stopped the shudder before it began as he thought of beaks and his mind went on to briefly consider Atonomatsuri.

"He's…, he's sort of boring looking, isn't he Ken-chan? Do you think that's why he wears make-up? To hide how ordinary he is?" Yachiru's mouth was close to Zaraki's ear and her breath, scented by the lollies she'd been eating wafted past his face.

In response he nodded his head, very slightly. Without make-up and his shoulders bowed, the man lost the presence and confidence he normally exuded. It would be hard to believe that even the strange collection of weirdos in 12th Division would take orders from this pathetic example of a human being.

"He doesn't seem much of a threat," he answered, trying to keep his voice to a low rumble.

"Hold on Kenny. You're not being objective here. Just because the man looks ordinary doesn't mean he is. Your experience with that man should remind you of that. Looks can be deceiving. A pretty face can hide a deceitful heart," Atonomatsuri chided him and he started slightly as he heard her voice in his mind. The irony of her final words almost made him smile.

"That's not a pretty face," he told her shortly amused at how her observation was so faulty.

"You know what I mean," her tart voice didn't hide her discomfort at the inappropriate use of the adage. "The man might look like Justin Timberlake, but he's dangerous."

Creasing his forehead, Zaraki shook his head. Who was that man she mentioned? His name sounded odd, not Japanese at all. There was no point of reference. "Who?"

"He's a singer in the human world. Looks like a bank clerk or a computer programmer," Atonomatsuri explained.

"What's a bank? And a clerk? What's it got to do with Kurotsuchi?" The more she explained things, the more confused Zaraki became. What did some human matter to him unless he could fight him? And a bank clerk sounded pretty boring, but it could be something exciting. Maybe bank clerks were talented fighters who had weapons the like of which he hadn't encountered as yet. They commanded armies that punished the unworthy and made them bow their heads in penance for their crimes.

And computer programmers (whatever the hell those words meant) were a modern type of Samurai, noble and committed to a cause greater than defending their own honour. Bravely sacrificing their family life for a higher purpose that gave them immeasurable strength, dignity and respect. That's what he hoped she meant. If so, he wanted to fight them all and learn their weaknesses. They had to be important, otherwise, why was Atonomatsuri mentioning them? But then, why did the bird ever mention anything?

A very deep sigh indicated that Atonomatsuri was going to make one of her unflattering observations again. "I'm merely trying to remind you that he might look unimpressive, but he can cause us serious trouble."

"Justless Timb Loser? Oh, you mean Kurotsuchi. Then why didn't you say that in the first place?" Maybe the bird's brain had addled. He knew that old eggs went rotten; maybe decaying vulture's minds had limited life spans because vultures came from eggs. He snarled at the bird, "Now you've got me thinking like you. Daft ideas."

"As you can see," Kuchiki said once Kurotsuchi's face was completely exposed. "He is a man. There is nothing terrifying hidden under the paint and powder. In the interests of speed the Captain will now place a mask over his face until a suitable recess is called." He nodded at the 1st Division assistant captain. "You may permit the others to return."

The 12th Division Captain's eyes were closed, his face set as he held out a hand imperiously.

As Abarai hastily handed a mask to the 12th Division Captain Zaraki heard an exclamation from Hitsugaya. Then a small snort of laughter erupted from Retsu. Looking at the man he noticed the mask was the red fanged mask of a demon. Zaraki let a laugh free as did a few other Captains. Hitsugaya's lip curled slightly and he was sure he saw a smile flit across Nanao's face before disappearing under the hand that hid her mouth. Kuchiki glared at his assistant captain, who was gazing with hope, trying to gauge the effect of his 'joke' on his Captain.

Kurotsuchi's hand remained outstretched, awaiting the mask. His mouth began to open, but his eyes remained steadfastly closed, almost as if he was denying that others could see his face without its normal protective armour.

"The other mask, Abarai," was the cold and speedy reply. "Quickly now. A hearing is not the time to play a prank. We will talk of this later."

With bad grace Abarai handed the 12th Division Captain a blank mask that only had holes for the eyes, nostrils and mouth, taking back the other mask and placing it under the table. His face was set and the set of his shoulders indicated that he was disappointed that the joke amused others, but not his Captain.

The people who had left filed back in, each of them glancing at the Captain and each face seemed to assume identical looks of disappointment that a blank mask was all that was shown.

"What did he look like?" the eager question from Ayasegawa made Zaraki shrug with little interest.

"Nothing special," he replied. "A man without makeup."

Madarame made a face. "You could be a little more descriptive, Captain. We only get to see the makeup."

Grasping at any similarity, Zaraki said quickly, "Like Abarai, but more boring. Aizen without glasses but more unnoticeable. Piecrust, maybe, if he wasn't handsome. I don't know." It wasn't accurate, but it might shut them up. Did they expect him to provide them with a feature by feature description accompanied by a fast line drawing?

"Piecrust, handsome?" huffed Ayasegawa. He quickly smoothed his hand over his hair and touched the feathers on his eye assuring himself that his appearance was unmarred.

"He said handsome, not pretty," Yachiru pointed out as she grinned at the 5th seat. "You're pretty. Would you prefer it if I called you Handsome Herbert?"

Shaking his head so hard that Zaraki almost thought he could hear the creak of the neck turning, Ayasegawa said, "No. I prefer Pretty Boy. The name Herbert is not pretty." He then dropped his voice and mumbled, "I don't believe I said that I wanted to be called Pretty Boy."

"We have shown you the face of the man accused of these crimes and there is nothing frightening concealed behind the paint. He is simply a man who chooses to hide his features for his own reasons," Kuchiki declared his steady gaze sweeping the audience.

"There's nothing simple about that creature," Atonomatsuri muttered in the back of Zaraki's mind. "The truly wise are always simple --- simple friendliness, simple decency, simple goodwill between man and man. It is the little mind that spins complications. His mind is little and he is complicated." The scathing tone and the damning sentiments from the bird reminded Zaraki that the vulture had developed a particular hatred for the 12th Division Captain that now seemed to make his dislike almost friendly by comparison.

"In our places of residence, don't we all keep items that might be considered dubious, if they were taken out of context? A pink kimono draped over a man's chair with hairpins on the table. An album of candid photos of a previous commanding officer. A collection of sweet wrappers contained within a folder, clearly labelled with the dates they were consumed. Books from the human world containing questionable content about the functioning of the body. Strange magazines with odd drawings and even stranger words claiming to tell a story about two sisters fighting over a mythical box. Any of these viewed without the correct background could be considered bizarre and, in some cases, perhaps even threatening."

Frowning, Zaraki tried to follow the logic. Yeah, sure, all of those things were weird until he connected the collection of sweet wrappers with Yachiru. He remembered she kept any unusual or pretty wrappers, especially those she had never seen before. There was nothing wrong with that. An album of photos of a previous commanding officer. Who could that be? That feeble female, the one who was in 4th Division after being stabbed by Aizen? Was that who he meant?

"I protest," Soi Fon was on her feet, her jaw jutting out and her fists were balled into her waist. Zaraki could not recall seeing her lose her temper in this manner before. "My private quarters are meant to be private. Those photographs are just reminders of a friendship."

A very small smile flitted across Captain Kuchiki's face. "That is exactly what I am inferring, Commander," he replied calmly. "You invaded Captain Kurotsuchi's quarters when he had no reason to expect visitors. In the normal state of affairs, if you had been formally invited to visit, you would have beheld nothing untoward."

Captain Ukitake cleared his throat gently before anyone could respond and placed a gentle hand on Soi Fon's shoulder. She shrugged it off angrily, ready to respond with more heat but he shook his head gently. She hissed between her teeth but sat down, glaring defiantly at the tall noble.

"You have destroyed your defence against the second accusation in trying to guard against the first," the 13th Division Captain said. "If you claim privacy as a reason that the treasonous objects should not be presented, then the invasion of privacy with the cameras and listening devices becomes more of a crime."

"Not at all. There is no proof that the Captain arranged for those devices to be placed, or that he even knew of their existence. Aizen or one of the other traitors may have arranged for those to be placed so they could monitor the situation here after they left for the Hollow Sanctuary." Folding his hands, Captain Kuchiki looked very composed and not in the least concerned.

"I recall that the Captain previously admitted that he had recordings and pictures of Captain Zaraki," Captain Fon shot to her feet. "You can twist the words as much as you like, but there are facts and witnesses you cannot ignore."

"He could have come by that information by other means. One of the members of 11th Division may have willingly provided that information to Captain Kurotsuchi when they discovered that Captain Zaraki was plotting against him." The smooth words and the impact of their meaning stunned Zaraki.

"I'm not supposed to be on bloody trial here. What the hell is happening? Who would have betrayed me?" His thoughts made him feel warm and he found he was looking suspiciously at his previously trusted subordinates.

A small cough in the back of his mind drew his attention. "Think Kenny. Once you noticed the bugs and disabled them, the Clown suddenly had less information. How could you explain about the rhubarb and rotten fish heads if he wasn't listening in? Is your memory really that short? When interest lags, memory lags too, or so Goethe said, but he obviously didn't know you."

The 13th Division Captain was standing, one hand resting gently on the table as he stared at Captain Kuchiki, a small smile of disbelief on his face. "And white is black and facts are to be ignored in the face of compelling fiction. You forget, or chose to overlook, that we have the transcripts and other evidence from the spying activities."

A low murmur went through the room.

"We must not disregard that the Captain was privy to many of the conversations held between the traitors before they decided to put the Seireitei at risk. This information could have prevented the recent unfortunate events, but the 12th Division Captain chose to keep this from his superior officers. Here is the true evidence of treason."

The words were spoken quietly, without inflexion. Gently rearranging his hair over his shoulders the 13th Division Captain sat down sedately. The silence in the room indicated that this news had shocked those who were present and that Captain Ukitake had carefully chosen his moment to disclose these facts.

"Hearing's over Kenny. That's it. Nothing more can be said. Nothing emboldens sin so much as mercy," Atonomatsuri claimed and Zaraki found he was nodding in agreement. There could be no argument strong enough to make anyone forget that.

After a hurried and heated consultation between the 10th and 6th Division captains and assistant captains, Hitsugaya rose to his feet and bowed deeply to the Captain-General. He kept his eyes firmly on the wall and a tinge of red shaded his cheekbones. Looing at his hands, Zaraki noted that they had formed into fists and the knuckles showed white.

It was easy to see that even these people, charged with the defence of the 12th Division Captain were shaken by the words. Abarai's face was red and he was glaring at the masked man, Ran's eyes were gazing into the middle distance and Kuchiki was staring at Rukia almost with affection.

The sound of the voice jarred on the tension of the room and the voice of the 10th Division Captain was cool to the point of being frigid as he finally began to speak. "Sir, would it be possible to try these two charges independently? As both charges are emotionally stimulating, there is a real fear that there may be a difficulty in looking at the facts clearly. Emotions may cloud judgment and any mention of the traitors is certain to affect all of us."

As he sat down, his assistant captain tried to hug him, but he shrugged her away with a sharp word. He sat there with a fixed look on his face but his eyes flickered to the 12th Division Captain briefly and then tried to conceal the look of disgust the infused his face. It had obviously been hard for him to utter words of defence for a man he found to be less than worthy of his support.

There was silence. A protracted silence as the Captain-General sat, unmoving. His face was expressionless and he barely seemed aware of the close attention everyone was paying to him. Zaraki wondered if the guy had died he sat so still, but the faint movement of his moustache from his breath showed he was still alive.

"Does he often sleep during meetings?" Yachiru was kneeling beside Zaraki, her mouth directly at his ear. "I thought you were the one that slept through them."

"I am not asleep, Assistant Captain Kusajishi. Captain Zaraki, please discipline your subordinate. She should know better than to interrupt when I am thinking." The measured words along with the sharp look made Zaraki wonder if Yachiru had just made his situation worse.

"Uh, Yachiru. Be a good assistant captain and don't say anything," Zaraki said. What was he meant to do? Yell at her? If he did she would open her eyes wide before she began crying and then he'd feel bad and she'd manoeuvre him into buying her some treat or letting her do something he would normally forbid. "No more sweets for you," he added wondering how he could enforce that command. He'd have to send someone to clear out her quarters and secret hiding places. More work that he felt disinclined to organise. She wasn't a kid, well, not really.

Instead of crying, Yachiru bowed her head. "I'm sorry Captain-General Yamamoto," her voice had the slightest hint of a sing song quality to it.

His lips compressed to a grim line that bisected his face, the old man nodded slightly. He continued to sit there and Zaraki stirred restively in his seat. How long was he going to think about it? It was a simple question, but would it mean prolonging the hearing?

"I believe Captain Hitsugaya has the right of it. A normal trial will be skewed by the emotional bias of the participants. There is only one fair method by which we can determine the guilt or innocence of the Captain of the 12th Division."

At these words Zaraki felt the beginnings of a grin tug at the corners of his mouth. The man might be hinting at one thing, he'd best not get his hopes up. Even if the man proposed what he hoped, there was no guarantee he'd be involved. It was a pretty obscure piece of law and the only reason he knew about it was he'd been forced to read it one day. Maybe forced was the wrong word. He'd been bored and looking for something to do between naps. For some reason he'd woken up and couldn't immediately fall asleep again. Yachiru had been at one of those Shinigami Women's Association meetings and he had a distinct feeling it was the time Madarame and Ayasegawa had their short lived membership of the Shinigami Men's Society, so none of them were available for conversation or diversion.

He'd looked for a fight and no one was around, or the cowards were all hiding. His mouth felt dry, and for once he'd felt a desire to drink water, not sake. Idly he'd picked up some dusty scroll and cast his eyes over it as he sipped from a cup of water. In spite of himself he'd been drawn into reading some law that he knew was too good to be true. No one would ever invoke it; it was too much of a challenge for anyone to uphold. He'd read it until he'd fallen asleep and then promptly forgotten about it. There was no reason for that memory to be retained, but perhaps because it had a particular interest to him, he could recall it now.

"What's the man talking about, Kenny?" Atonomatsuri sounded very interested in what was taking place and he almost felt inclined to indulge her curiosity. Before he could speak Captain Ukitake was on his feet, standing in front of his commander, his hair swinging behind him, so rapid had his movement been.

"That is not a proof of anything and it's medieval," he protested. "It's never been exercised and I do not believe that this is a time to trial it."

"Does that man know all the laws?" Atonomatsuri wondered in the back of Zaraki's mind. "I suppose being sick and confined to bed he had to do something, but memorising the rules seems more of a penance than a way to pass the time."

Shrugging, Zaraki didn't answer. How other people spent their time didn't interest him. If someone was idiotic enough to read that sort of stuff, why should he care? Admitting he knew about it might cause the bird to mock him, and he didn't want to hear her jibing in the back of his head for hours.

Kurotsuchi was now standing, looking around the room as if seeking guidance. Captain Kuchiki got up and pressed a hand on his shoulder, trying to encourage him to return to his seat, but the man angrily pushed the hand away from him. "I do not like to be touched," he said in a low urgent fashion. "Do not touch me." His voice rose as he screeched the words again. "Do not touch me. Your touch is repellent and the feel of your skin sickens me."

"I do not wish to touch you, but I urge you to sit down. Captain Yamamoto will decide how this progresses," the nobleman said. The edge to Kuchiki's voice was not lost on Zaraki, nor the speed with which he removed his hand. The small movements he made did not disguise that he was wiping his palm of a clean piece of linen he had removed from his sleeve.

"Didn't like touching the guy," Zaraki reasoned and then remembered how Yumichika had done the same when he had been relieved of holding down the guy. He hadn't thought about it at the time, or even noticed it specifically, but watching the 6th Division Captain use the similar movements with an almost identical expression of loathing brought the previous incident back clearly.

"I believe Captain Kuchiki is correct, Ukitake. I make the decisions here. Not you. Nor some jumped up former resident of the Maggots Nest. Nor an assistant captain who can't stop stuffing food in his mouth. Nor a former captain who betrayed the whole of the Seireitei in his pursuit of a fable. I am the power," Captain Yamamoto rose from his chair and stood tall and commanding.

"Have you noticed how much chest pounding goes on here? It makes it easy to believe that males are descended from gorillas," Atonomatsuri seemed interested in following this further. "I know it's a way of dominating others, but Shinigami seem to do it with words more often than physical activity, though I'm sure you'd do it if you were trying to impress some female, Kenny boy. Should I be watching you closely from now on?"

Did she always have to distract him when things were getting interesting? He gazed around the room, noticing that every eye was either fixed on the Captain-General or gazing speculatively at the people present he'd obliquely mentioned. Captain Fon had confiscated her subordinate's food and from his shamed expression she'd was delivering a short rebuke that had the man's cheeks flushing with embarrassment. With the mask in place it was not possible to read Kurotsuchi's expression, but his eyes glittered with anger. Captain Ukitake kept his steady gaze on Captain Yamamoto, seemingly unconcerned by the reprimand, except he leant forward closer, his eyes more intent.

"I'm not going to slap my chest to impress you," Zaraki replied. "I'd prefer to pummel your head and hear the brains rattle, or whatever you have pretending to be brains."

"Kenny. Why do you insist on insulting me all the time?" Atonomatsuri sounded hurt.

He almost burst out laughing at the question but then stopped. He insulted the vulture because she insulted him. Did she expect him to compliment her in return for her harsh words and observations that were often too close to the truth? Thinking back, it seemed likely that she did have some strange beliefs. Once she had even mentioned that she considered her appearance to be attractive. Maybe she'd never looked in a mirror, or her eyes didn't work properly. Who could tell? Did a spirit have a reflection as they were a reflection of the zanpaku-to, a creature that lived within an object? Yet he was a soul, something that had originally lived within another body. Sure, while he lived in Soul Society he had an image that would appear in a mirror, but if he was in the human world, without a gigai, he wouldn't be able to see his features in a mirror. If Atonomatsuri was in another world, the one that was sequential to Soul Society, would she have independent form? All previous thinking indicated that Soul Society was the end; if you died there you would return to the spirit particles that held your form and become as nothing. That was what he'd been told when he'd asked.

There could be nothing after Soul Society. There were no ghosts, no portents like there were in the human world.

But how could you have a ghost of a ghost? If there was a further destination for souls that died in Soul Society, would there be another destination after that? Would there be an ultimate destination where no soul could die. That promise of eternal life?

What the hell was he thinking about? The advent of that damned bird was making him crazy, wondering about stupid ideas that had no relevance. Who gave a potential afterlife's curse if there was something more? Living for the moment was the only importance and he wanted this hearing over and done with so he could go and sleep or do something equally unchallenging.

The throb in his head meant that the bird was awaiting an answer. He didn't want to make excuses, or even reply to the question. "I'll stop insulting you when you stop insulting me," he grumbled, unwilling even to say that.

"Does that mean you volunteer, Captain Zaraki? I was going to ask for a Captain to undertake this, but you seem eager."

Bewildered he looked around. The abstraction from the strange ideas and questions had made him speak aloud and he'd missed the discussion that had continued. "For what?"

He heard giggling from Yachiru and a few others. Grinding his teeth he decided all agreements were void. He'd damn well insult the vulture for this.

"It is appropriate," Yamamoto said smoothly. "You are now appointed the champion of the Gotei 13, which is appropriate for the Kenpachi. Tomorrow you will meet the 12th Division Captain and undergo the formal challenge that will ascertain his guilt. This hearing is suspended. Captain Kurotsuchi is permitted to return to his Division to put his affairs in order, but under supervision and the understanding that he is strictly confined to the precincts of his division. Captain Zaraki, you retain the freedom of the Seireitei, with the exclusion of the 12th Division. As 1st Division has the largest stadium we will convene there tomorrow. I will send you both copies of the rules of combat. Make certain you study them carefully. You are all dismissed."

Yamamoto rose and swiftly left the room. Instantly the hum of conversation became a deafening roar. Two guards took custody of Kurotsuchi and escorted him with no ceremony from the room, as if fearing for his safety.

"What the hell's happened now?" Zaraki asked. Events were moving too swiftly. A moment's inattention and now he only a growing suspicion of what was going on. Would it really be that bad?

_

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_

Author's Note:

Working overtime, both nights and weekends, has impacted badly on my writing and I don't know when my work demands will end. I'm not excusing myself, just stating facts. It probably explains why another Atonomatsuri joke slipped in and the extremely bad pun of a title.

I dedicate this chapter to RK, a close friend, a mentor and really nice guy who died too soon.

Please review. I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter individually, but time is limited. Anwyay, thank you very much.

MS


	40. Improbable Facts

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). _

**Improbable Facts**

His way out was blocked, intentionally. As soon as the old man and Kurotsuchi left, the doorway became crowded and Zaraki wondered why the mass of people didn't thin. Instead he seemed to be hemmed in and gradually it dawned on him that he was the centre of attention. Madarame was on his right, Ayasegawa on his right and Yachiru was clinging to his back and they were pressing people back. Without meaning to, his hand found the hilt of his zanpaku-to and he wondered if he would have to fight to get out. Being crowded like this made him feel agoraphobic. Was it agoraphobic? Or was it claustrophobic? It was some phobic…People phobic? He only liked crowds when he was fighting and that was crowds of enemies waiting to fall prey to his blade, but no matter the provocation he couldn't do that here, blast it!

"We are counting on you, Kenpachi, to see true justice is meted out," Kuchiki said in his measured tones. His expression as usual provided no indication of his emotion, but his eyes were focused strongly. A number of people nodded, as if in agreement and it made Zaraki uncomfortable.

"I thought you were still meant to be defending the guy. You and the others," Zaraki said, gesturing vaguely, trying to use the movement to push some of the mass further away. The press moved away slightly and he felt less hemmed in, but still not happy. People should stay in their assigned roles and not cross the line into being understanding or polite. Until now Kuchiki usually only seemed to express his contempt for the 11th Division Captain and this new side was unwelcome and inconsistent. Gods forbid the man should unbend enough to smile, but given the gravity of the situation that was unlikely.

"And so we have and will continue to do so. We will defend his rights, protect him against any injustice and stay alert to deflect any underhand act of violence, but I am no longer required to avow his innocence. The next few days will prove either that or his culpability." The noble shut his mouth tightly as he nodded briefly to Zaraki and motioning to Abarai he exited through the door, a number of other people following many of them smiling back with anticipation or friendliness. Monkey faces, stretched in attitudes of fun or fear, what did he care? They were going and that was good.

Then the words filtered through his brain and stuck in his consciousness. Next few days? He'd only thought it would be a day, at most. But the information he'd read wasn't complete and he couldn't recall everything he'd scanned. Barely suppressing a sigh he knew that if he complained nothing would change. If he yelled or tried to fight someone, it might entertain him for the length of the fight, but the situation wouldn't alter. Tomorrow would dawn and he'd be called upon to face whatever lay ahead of him, despite his actions. If he could get his hands on the thing he'd read before or even talk to the annoying squawk-fest, he might obtain a better understanding of what he was to face. Instinctively he knew that Atonomatsuri would hold the knowledge, but with her track record, it would be damned hard to obtain any useful facts from her. Facts, possibly. Useful? Highly improbable, unless it was to her advantage. While distracted he hadn't been aware that two other captains had approached him and seemed eager to engage him in further conversation.

"It was a good call, Jushiro, reminding everyone that Mayuri could have alerted the old man to the traitor's plans. That alone was enough to court martial any captain without a hearing before hand. The only pity is that old man Yama is being fair, too fair." The flower coated captain patted his friend on the shoulder, but the white haired man just shook his head.

"You have to expect him to be fair. In fact it isn't fair. He's giving the man too much leeway. The result was incidental. I didn't wish for, nor expect this outcome. I will feel responsible if you are hurt, Kenpachi. The other problem, to which I must allude, is I am unsure how I will feel if it is taken to the final conclusion. For all his faults, Mayuri is a Captain and the only possible successor to Urahara," Ukitake looked worried.

"And he's a sneaky beggar. You worry too much, old friend. He only succeeded to the position of Captain because we lost both the captain and assistant captain at the one time. It's strange how convenient that was, for him. I'm sure we could find another successor, a more suitable successor who might contribute and didn't start as a corrupted soul," Kyoruka's eyes swept the assembled people and rested on one or two people, a calculated gleam in his eyes. "I'm sure if we offered enough inducement Kisuke would return and maybe Yoruichi. We would have two able Captains return to us with their experience and common sense at a time we need them most. Or we could bring in one of the talented people from Soul Society who has thus far been overlooked."

"Why are you worried about Ken-chan?" Yachiru was dismissive of their concern. "He gets to have a fight against another captain and he might even get to see him go bankai. That would only make him happy."

Captain Ukitake looked a little guilty. "It's not that straightforward."

How many times had Zaraki heard that? Even worse, how many times had he almost felt the need to say it? It usually meant the person didn't want to explain what was happening, as it showed them in a bad light, or to answer truthfully would raise more questions. Looking at Ukitake he wondered which one it was. As far as he knew, the man usually took care to be an honest as possible.

Laughing, Captain Kyoraku agreed. "My friend here, helped write the rules basing them on some obscure things he'd read, as a joke. I helped a bit, here and there. Neither of us believed the rules would ever be used, but the interpretation can be a bit loose. I'll be interested to see what old man Yama does to twist them to fit this mess. Haha. It should be fun to watch."

Ukitake caught his arm as he turned. "Fun? Or deadly? That's the end of the contest, the only true end. Why did you encourage me?"

"You supplied the sake for inspiration. Don't worry. Kenpachi will have it under control. He is the Kenpachi, after all and Mayuri is scared of him. It's either fear, or jealousy. Knowing Mayuri, it might even be both." The assurance in Kyoruka's voice was oddly reassuring but Zaraki wouldn't acknowledge it. "Otherwise why was he trying to get him kicked out of the Seireitei?"

It was a good question but now it didn't seem important. Once all this was over he might have the time and inclination to think about it and ask his own questions. All the speculation didn't help. "It's a fight," Zaraki said, dismissing all the comments they'd made. "I like to fight."

"Now then, Kenpachi. Don't overwhelm us with words," Kyoraku said laughing again. "If you need any help, call on Jushiro. He'll explain the obscure bits. I'll even make him use simple words."

"Obscure? Simple words? You were the one who suggested there could be up to at least 13 possible parts to the challenge." The two friends moved off, gently squabbling about who had created the most obscure rule.

13 challenges? He shook his head, hearing his bells tinkle in denial. 13 was a stupid number. Why did people insist on the importance of numbers, trying to make them align with the already constricted construction? How bored had they been when they wrote the rules, or how drunk had Kyoraku been? As soon as he managed to read the rules he'd find out the level of the problems he might be facing, but that could wait; it would have to wait until he could get clear of this place. Wanting to get away from any further conversations or matters that might distract him from preparing for tomorrow he nodded to Yachiru who jumped onto his back. Avoiding the other captains and hangers on he set a swift pace, knowing the exercise would be good for his mind as well as his tightening muscles. Running through the streets back to his office he felt his muscles begin to loosen and the twisted tension at the back of his neck relax slightly the further he moved from 1st Division.

Again he wondered why being a captain had seemed like a good idea. Had the bird been influencing him even then?

Once more he charted the disasters back to attempting to gain more power through talking to the spirit of his zanpaku-to. If it would make any change he wished he'd never tried. Nothing was worth this sort of disruption to his life, even if it did mean a measure of payback to Kurotsuchi.

"If wishes were horses, you'd have a stable full by now," Atonomatsuri said, her voice higher, with an edge to it.

"Horses," Zaraki snorted. "One bird is enough wildlife for me."

They had arrived at his office by now and he'd automatically entered and started making tea. Yachiru slid from his back and stood in the centre of the room so he had difficulty in ignoring her or moving around the room without having to skirt her. She nodded at his mime of asking her if she wanted a cup of tea and he measured out the tea leaves, hoping the quiet wouldn't be interrupted by the bird, or anyone.

"Ken-chan," Yachiru said, her voice more hesitant than normal.

Gladly ignoring any further conversation from Atonomatsuri he stretched his lips in the parody of a grin and turned his attention to his assistant captain. "Yeah?"

"Are you talking to the spirit again? What's its name? Is it nice?" In her least subtle approach, Yachiru was seeking information and it seemed odd that she wanted to know at this time. He was grateful she wasn't trying to manipulate him, but the topic of conversation left everything to be desired.

"I've already told you about her," he said briefly. Instead of a distraction, the request made him focus on one of the problems he was attempting to ignore.

She picked up a piece of her hair and twisted it between her fingers seemingly fascinated by the movement and colour. Her fascination didn't last and she glanced at him fleetingly under her lashes as she began searching her pockets for more sweets. As she explored the concealed pocket in her right sleeve she contradicted him. "Not very much, Ken-chan. I've forgotten her name and what she is. And you act funny when I talk about her. One time when you talked about her, you had that same expression on your face that you have when you talk about the Clown Captain." She refused to meet his gaze.

Hearing a gasp of indignation in his mind he awaited the normal tirade from the bird within, but the gasp seemed to end in a sob and then silence. Even though he didn't care what the vulture said, it was a relief not to have to reply to her normal set of charges, insults, entreaties, anger and general disappointment. It irked him, though he'd never admit it, to be the single cause of so much disappointment to one person, even if it was the overgrown, feathered freak. The lack of mental noise gave him time to choose his answer. He wanted to be fair to Yachiru as he rarely kept anything from her, but it was difficult to explain his turbulent interchanges with the spirit of his zanpaku-to. Nothing but the truth would work, but he would start simply. A simple explanation might enable him to keep a mental distance from the havoc of the thoughts he experienced whenever he was forced to acknowledge the bird.

The tea was ready now and he poured them both a cup, handing the hot beverage to his subordinate. Seating himself behind the desk he gulped his tea feeling it burn his mouth. He didn't care about the pain, taking a slight amount of pleasure in the sting on his tongue. Pouring another cup he took his time drinking it as he considered his answer. Keeping his voice even he said, "Her name is Atonomatsuri, which means 'too late'. She's a large Egyptian pink and black vulture who wears a necklace of skulls. She switches from being partly decomposed to being whole and healthy."

He paused and licked his lips considering pouring some sake to drink instead of the tea. He was getting a thirst for the clean white spirit that made reality fade into the distance. Reality was overrated. Gritting his teeth he poured them both some more tea and refilled the pot with hot water. If the conversation lasted more than another 5 minutes he would open the sake and to hell with the consequences.

Yachiru didn't seem to like the pause. "She's partly pink? She must look beautiful!"

"You did catch the bit about being partially decomposed?" It wasn't the reaction he expected.

"But that's make her cool, Ken-chan. I wonder if my zannie's spirit will be as cool as yours," Yachiru was reacting in a way he didn't like. Atonomatsuri; cool? It was obvious the kid hadn't met her or didn't understand anything about her, or she had really bad judgement. He had to disabuse her of her fantasy.

"She uses adages all the time," he said, his voice hissing as he mentioned the adage.

"Oh," the smile grew less on his assistant captain's face. "But, I don't mind adages, Ken-chan. I think they can be funny and it actually makes her even cooler." Her voice was small as she said the words and she made an apologetic face. "I don't know why you're ashamed of her. At least she isn't a load of old cherry blossom petals. They're pretty, but they seem a little silly even when they're cutting a person to pieces. Very girly, but don't tell Captain Frosty I said that. He doesn't like to be called girly or for his zannie to be mocked."

Without meaning to the words made him smile. If it had been any other male Shinigami, he was certain that the man would be teased unmercifully for producing death by cherry blossoms. "They're deadly, Yachiru."

"Is that because people giggle to death beforehand, Ken-chan? I mean here's this humourless noble guy throwing cherry blossom petals at you and hoping you'll die? Or are they made out of paper and he's hoping you'll die of paper cuts?" Yachiru continued on, cheerfully.

Zaraki started to laugh, louder and longer than he had since the whole problem with Kurotsuchi had started. He'd never heard Yachiru express that viewpoint before and it managed to distract him with its perception. He knew he didn't need to warn her not to mention it to the Captain. Or if she did, he'd ignore her comment and shrug away anything he thought was implied criticism. Kuchiki didn't accept criticism.

"But that's not what I want to talk about. Tell me more about her," his second in command urged.

What else could he tell her, that he was prepared to divulge? She'd revealed he was a former Hollow? He wasn't going to tell anyone that, ever. "She hates me," he admitted.

"That's not true. It can't be true. Maybe she's angry with you because you ignored her for so long. I get annoyed with you when you ignore me. That's what it is," Yachiru said and nodded as if affirming what she'd said.

"It's not that simple," he began to explain and felt a pang of disbelief. Ukitake had expressed himself in similar terms earlier when he was trying to conceal his discomfort and obvious disquiet at the new challenge. And less than an hour later, Zaraki was using similar words for a similar purpose.

Yachiru turned to him. "What is simple? Nothing. You told me that and we proved it years ago. If it's not simple, people often give up. They shouldn't. Giving up is easy. Most of the time problems could be solved by fixing it sooner rather than waiting for it to fix itself, which it won't. The problem gets bigger and harder each time. You do it too, Ken-chan. I know you mean to do the right thing, and you do, often. Other times, if it's someone else's suggestion, you get stubborn and refuse to do anything. Things get worse and then it's too late to fix it simply and you either leave it alone, or make a token effort. It doesn't work."

Her honesty and accuracy astounded Zaraki. Rarely was she so forthright, but when she was he knew it was wise to pay attention and act on her suggestions. Sighing, he nodded and waited for the next unwelcome observation.

"Apologise to her. She's the spirit of your zanpaku-to and you want to get stronger, remember? You can get stronger with her help. If you keep fighting her, she could make it really difficult for you," Yachiru advised.

He couldn't hide his distaste for her advice. "I tried that and she already has," he said.

"Did you. Did you really? Or did you get impatient and start yelling and ordering her around?"

For a moment he felt a need to look over his shoulder. Her assessment was too close to the truth and it made him wonder if the overgrown canary had spoken to his assistant captain.

Yachiru bobbed up in front of his face. "You did yell at her, I can tell. And you've insulted her too, haven't you? Did she try to offer advice?"

He shrugged with an assumed air or nonchalance, trying to think of a means to distract the girl. If only he carried a large bag of lollies in his pocket. Opening his mouth he was about to suggest they go and examine the selection of sweets to be found in a nearby shop, when Yachiru asked very steadily, "If her name is Atonomatsuri which means 'too late', does that say anything about her special power?"

He couldn't help himself. Surprise made him blink hard at the question and a quiver of some emotion or other ran down his backbone. How observant was Yachiru? Why conclusion had she drawn which he missed?

"Well, Ken-chan. Does it?" she persisted.

"Yeah," he disliked making the admission, but it was necessary.

Her eyes sparked and he could only recall one other occasion when she had looked at him like that. "Tell me," she demanded. "I know you hate telling other people, but you've told Lolly. Why did you ask her and not me? That hurt Ken-chan." During the last two sentences her voice had become smaller and her eyes had become sad.

He goggled at her. Hurt her? He'd hurt her because he'd asked Retsu but hadn't talked to her. "She knows how to bankai," was all his disordered thoughts offered as an answer.

"So? You asked her about bankai, but what about when you were having trouble with the spirit? You usually ask me and this time, you didn't. Do you prefer Lolly to me? I like Lolly, but normally you talk to me about everything. Why won't you talk to me? Have I done something wrong?"

Seeing it from her viewpoint he knew what she meant. He'd become so caught up with the success he had with talking to his spirit he had omitted Yachiru from any discussions. Mostly because she didn't talk to her spirit, but normally she advised him on nearly all the important matters. The problems he'd experienced with Atonomatsuri…. He didn't feel comfortable discussing those with anyone, but then he remembered he'd shared the issue with Madarame and Retsu. Yachiru had been an afterthought, and not even that.

"Hell, Yachiru. I didn't think…"

"Now there's a surprise! Kenny boy is admitting he didn't think when he didn't think. Maybe every time you open your mouth you could say that, because on most occasions it would certainly be true. Those who do not feel pain, seldom think that it is felt." Atonomatsuri did not crow with pleasure, but it was implied. The smug satisfaction that was obvious in her voice reminded him of the number of times she'd baited him about Yachiru and the way he treated her. It worried him that she might be right.

"Oh shut the hell up, Sewer," he snapped aloud.

Yachiru nodded as if she had received confirmation of a suspicion. "Is that how you always talk to her?" she asked forthrightly. "If you do, she probably doesn't like it. You never talk to me like that and I'd be unhappy if you did. I feel sorry for 'Suri."

"See! I knew I liked this girl. Your assistant captain is as clever as she is pretty. Her hair is a lovely colour and her little cheeks are the same pink. She likes pink, she likes black and she likes birds and she's given me such a pretty nickname. Why couldn't I be the spirit of her zanpaku-to?" Atonomatsuri said loudly in the back of his mind.

"Yeah, why couldn't you?" Zaraki wanted to be distracted from the way he'd treated Yachiru and was prepared to focus on anything else.

"Because you made me the way I am. We've been over that before," Atonomatsuri sounded resigned, or as near to resignation as she ever was.

Only the bare facts and not many of those. When she'd mentioned that he'd changed her she had omitted much and said little except it was his fault. "Why couldn't I what? Oh, you're talking to Atonomatsuri. I can't hear what she's saying to you. I wish you'd talked to me about her, told me everything," the wistful note in Yachiru's voice didn't help make Zaraki feel any better. Looking at her, with her mouth turned down as her large eyes looked at him pleadingly made him ask a question.

"You could have mentioned this before. Why didn't you?" Even to his ears it sounded like he was accusing her of some wrong doing.

"A guilt shared is a guilt halved," the bird chimed in accusingly.

He almost told her she'd got the adage wrong, but he didn't wish to acknowledge that she'd said anything and his primary attention was focused on his assistant captain.

A change came over Yachiru's face. The amusement was wiped off and so was the sad look that indicated betrayal. Her eyes glinted with anger and she shook her finger in front of his nose.

"What would you have said, Ken-chan? You've been busy with everything that's been happening and I did try once or twice, but you ignored me. And I wanted you to ask me because you wanted my advice because you thought it might be good, but instead you ignored me and blocked me out. You're making friends with everyone and I thought it was making you happy, but you stopped spending time with me and talking to me."

The catch in her voice made him look at her closely and he began to understand. Unwillingly he reached out and patted her shoulder and then hugged her clumsily and briefly. "Hey, kid," he grated. "What did you expect?"

Yachiru hugged him around the neck burying her small face against his shoulder. "I was worried. I wondered if you liked Lolly more than me."

The observation made him laugh even though he didn't mean to. "Like anyone more than you? No, Yachiru." She was closer to him than any living being and had brought him out of the worst period of his life, helping him see the sky again. Before her sudden appearance his life had been stark and the sky only informed him if it was day or night, not that there were clouds to be admired and compared to people or other shapes. She'd reminded him how to laugh, and there had been little to find amusing in the fog of death with which he'd been surrounded.

"It feels strange seeing you spend time with other people," she said seeming to be casual, but he knew she was pretending.

"I'm still getting used to it," he admitted but then decided to be completely honest. "Maybe it's a good thing. You get on with people better than I do and I can learn from you."

Pulling her head back, she gave him a cautious smile. "A good daughter always teaches her father," she said.

"Teaches him what?" he said deciding to join in the teasing.

"How to be a better person," this time the answer was serious.

The answer made any words he wanted to say vanish and he looked away. "Sentimental drivel," he eventually managed to choke out from a throat that felt tight.

"And don't you love it?" Atonomatsuri said. "Yachiru calling you her father always makes you feel bigger and more important than you already do, you preening poseur. You want her to think of you as her father."

Instinctively his hands reached out to strangle the bird even though he knew she wasn't there. Yachiru noticed and tapped the backs of both his hands. "Not every thing can be fixed by killing it," she said reprovingly.

"It'd make life easier," he said truthfully. "Except for you," he added quickly.

She gave him her special grin. "You wouldn't find me, Ken-chan and if you did you wouldn't catch me."

"Believe it, if you want," he offered generously and grinned at her with disbelief clear on his face.

"You'd always be too late," Yachiru said and then stared at Zaraki. He could see that she was working things out and he began to dread what she would say next. An air of apprehension overcame him the longer Yachiru remained silent, thinking.

"It's a very strong power," his assistant captain finally said.

"Huh?" He didn't understand the comment. What could she mean?

Yachiru was looking at his zanpaku-to with great respect. "I wonder. If you had managed to seal her, would it have had a big effect on your life?"

Now Zaraki was becoming even more confused. Why was Yachiru speaking about sealing his zanpaku-to? He'd never been able to do so, not from the first time he'd received the blade. As time passed and his reiatsu increased, so shrank any chance he had to contain both the zanpaku-to and his spiritual power.

"I was lucky," she said reflectively. "So were Baldy and Pretty Boy. Atonomatsuri, thank you," she called as if fully expecting to receive an answer. She bowed respectfully at Zaraki, or so he thought until he realised that she was bowing to his blade.

"Zaraki, I'll help you. Because of Yachiru I vow to help you win this battle against the Clown Captain," Atonomatsuri said with a happy wet note in her voice. Until now he'd rarely heard anyone speak like that, except once or twice when Yachiru had cried because she was happy.

Females were weird. This latest conversation proved it.

Even arriving at this conclusion he was forced to wonder what Yachiru had worked out and if she'd be prepared to tell him. Every indication made him suspect that whatever it was would be important, not to control his future, but to understand his past.

_

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_

Author's Note:

Important plot development ahead, probably. The battle between Kurotsuchi and Zaraki may be irregular but it's still under development. There are a few clues in this chapter which might indicate the way it could go, but I will reveal no more. Not even if you place bamboo shoots under my finger nails or force me to watch reality TV shows.

I hope, work permitting, to have the next chapter ready in June. May has too many birthdays which means I'm busy nearly each weekend. Time is not on my side.

Thanks to the people who reviewed. I appreciate the support very much and it inspires me to continue the story. (40 chapters! I've written 40 chapters?)

Please review.

MS


	41. Drowning in Sake

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). _

**Drowning in Sake**

Once again Zaraki felt stymied. The bird freely offering help and Yachiru sitting there with a worshipful expression on her face not aimed at him but at the spirit of his zanpaku-to. That was wrong. A good daughter should listen to her father and not confuse him with leaps in logic that he didn't follow. Worse, he felt shy about asking her what she had worked out about his zanpaku-to. Sure, the kid was smart and picked up most things quickly, but what was unusual about not being able to seal his spirit and her name?

The calm voice Atonomatsuri used was hard to recognise. It was stripped of the bitter, hurt tone she normally employed. The recrimination, anger, frustration, pain and hopelessness weren't there, making her sound like a different person, one he had not dealt with previously and he was unsure how he would manage with this one. "Just ask her, Zaraki. Merely ask and she will reply and perhaps you will understand. I had hoped that you could arrive at this breakthrough without assistance, but I forgot how our emotions blind us to simple solutions."

He snorted at the mention of emotions. Females brought everything back to 'feelings' because they weren't logical and followed instincts instead of measured tactics. Couldn't they comprehend that their thinking was sloppy and led them to make mistakes because their judgement was clouded by reactions rather than reason? Yachiru usually didn't make it so obvious that she was subject to the female flaw, but he knew Atonomatsuri was never free of experiencing some mood or other, usually one that he associated with everything bad.

But it was strange hearing her speak to him like that. No insults. She implied that she accepted that it wasn't his fault he didn't understand. He felt like checking the date to make certain that it was 1st April because this had to be a joke. His shoulders alternately tensed and relaxed as he tried to decide if he should follow her suggestion, or stubbornly try to work it out on his own. The trust was there, but how could he rely it, or her? The level was too shallow and hadn't been tested and it wasn't strong enough to blindly accept any pronouncement made by the bird. But now Yachiru was backing her up and that made him uneasy because it changed the balance between them. More often it was Yachiru asking him to explain something to her and he was uncertain how he felt about asking for her viewpoint on something, especially anything to do with this secret.

"Why are you looking at me like that, Ken-chan?" Yachiru said making him realise he was frowning at her, as he tried to think of how he could broach the question.

"Uh, Yachiru. What did you mean? Thanking the vulture?" There, he'd asked. Now all he had to do was dread the answer.

Her eyes looked at him for a moment as if she couldn't believe he was asking the question. That was one of the things he'd worried about, but she knew more about him than anyone else. In this instance it seemed she knew more about him than he did and that didn't seem fair.

"She saved you, when you were fighting Itchy. She made him join with his spirit just too late so he didn't kill you and made you realise too late so you didn't kill him. And maybe you needed to be nearly beaten."

A chill ran up his spine. He didn't want to think like that or hear her say those words.

"If Itchy hadn't almost defeated you, you wouldn't have tried to get stronger. You'd never have tried to talk to the spirit of your zanpaku-to because no one's gotten close to beating you for so long," Yachiru looked at him and shrugged a little. "Ken-chan, you were getting a little lazy about fighting and you always told me that a good fighter is never content."

Without thinking about it he found he was nodding in agreement. No one had presented a challenge and he didn't see the point of trying harder. If he'd had a chance to fight other captains, which might have kept him up to the mark, but fighting only subordinates made him indolent. The rules about fighting in the Seireitei needed to be changed otherwise they'd all lose their edge. Look how easily a bunch of ryoka had decimated much of the fighting force, and his Division in particular. He had to keep them and himself up to the mark.

Yachiru hadn't finished. He thought her eyes were shining strangely as she said softly. "'Suri made me late so I crawled up to you after you'd finished fighting and you didn't kill me. I think that's what happened."

The silence that descended on them from that comment made him freeze as he contemplated what she'd just suggested. If Yachiru had crawled into the battle zone on that day, when he was drugged with the scent of blood and the exercise of his muscles, the fierce pleasure he'd felt as he plunged his blade through yet another body as his mind repeated the death mantra, would he have killed her too? But she had emerged when all the others were dead and he was sitting down, with his zanpakuto leaning against him. Too late for the battle. Just in time to pull him from the overwhelming chanting he kept hearing in his mind. She had awakened him to the world he had ignored so easily for so long.

As much as he wanted to believe otherwise, he had a niggling sense that if she had crawled up to him a few minutes earlier, Yachiru would be dead and he would be insane. His throat began to hurt.

"And what about Baldy? The first time you fought him he was always late in anticipating your movements and too late to realise he'd made a mistake in trying to fight you. You almost killed him, but remembered your promise to me about letting people live. That time you were almost too late but instead the timing was perfect."

Zaraki swallowed hard. If Yachiru would stop talking, now, that would be good. Anytime in the next 5 seconds and he'd be happy. If his throat hurt less he'd tell her to be quiet.

A fevered whisper crept to his ears. "You were too late to prevent that man from trying to hurt me so I was forced to defend myself, but by that time it was too late for him. Those timing issues combined and made him die, Ken-chan, by your hand and made you a Captain. It worked against me but for us both. It was necessary that you see the truth. You had to arrive late."

"No more, Yachiru," Zaraki said his voice heavy with the inability to refute any of her evidence and the words felt like shattered crystal as they emerged from his throat and mouth. The old guilt stung, clotted and stinking in his mind as he was shown once again how he had failed her. His neck stiffened and tightened, becoming taut and inflexible.

"If she hates you so much, why did she do so much good?" The whisper curved around the room, lingering as the meaning began to dawn on him and he felt the truth invade his mind.

That made his head snap back and he felt his eyes open wide as he stared at the ceiling as if he'd never seen it before. The pull made his muscles rasp against the bone but he refused to show any sign of discomfort. The muscles and bone continued to slide painfully against each other and he felt the bones throb.

"Don't get the wrong idea, Kenny," Atonomatsuri squawked loudly, her voice pitched high and urgent. "I had to do something. I only did it to amuse myself and ur, be…… be…, be…..because you're my Shinigami, as much as I hate to admit it and I have to keep you alive. And I like Yachiru and Madarame. I always have. From the first time I saw them. It was for them, not for you."

The throbbing pain in his neck moved higher. He hadn't even noticed his neck was sore, or his back before he'd come to his office. His shoulders were bunched around his ears and the muscles knotted there as the absolute need to refute everything that had been said fought with truth. Aching eyes and jaw, blurring vision and a sudden momentous cramp in his left leg made him wince. Water, he needed to drink water. That was the cause of his problems. Dipping his head deep within the water he could slake his thirst and keep drinking until everything else fell away. It would ease the raw wound that had formed in his throat and wash away the foul taste he had in his mouth.

Getting to his feet, forgetting the pain in his leg he staggered out of his office and toward the nearest water butt, the noise in his head was grinding on his nerves. Without further thought he plunged his head into the cold fluid and began to gulp if quickly, greedily, barely taking a breath between mouthfuls. Then pushing his head further below the surface he drank more, almost inhaling the liquid until a sharp blow on his back made him react instinctively. He pulled his head out, shaking the water from his eyes and hair, roaring in anger at whoever had dared touch him.

Ayasegawa stood there, holding his zanpakuto, still in its scabbard, the handle of the blade pointing toward his captain. His expression was carefully controlled and while it was obvious that he had hit his captain, the reason was not.

He was a convenient target and Zaraki took advantage of it. "What do you want?" he snarled. "Stop staring at me and get out of my sight. Go and spend time with Kurotsuchi's daughter, or whatever she is. You seem more concerned with her than your Division."

The words had the effect he wanted as he saw Ayasegawa's knuckles whiten as they held his blade, but the man pressed his lips together and said nothing.

"So you don't deny it. Why don't you ask to be reassigned to 12th, huh? It would suit your nature rather than the rough practices of my Division. You only stayed in this division because of Madarame, we both know that." Zaraki was saying words without thinking, only seeking an effect, an anger that might match his own.

The 5th seat's knuckles whitened further and a crease formed between his brows as he observed his captain through narrowed eyes, but he still remained silent.

"Or is it because you like to be the prettiest man in the 11th, except Piecrust is almost as good looking, isn't he. You don't like the competition and you goaded Yachiru to attack him by telling her she should have marked him more. You probably told her to go for his face, after you arranged to get him drunk and overhear your conversation with Madarame. You're behind that particular debacle, aren't you? I can see your slender fingerprints all over that clever bit of work. Discredit the fool, nearly get him killed and into the bargain he gets maimed." As he spoke he became more convinced that what he was suggesting was true.

Showing a great amount of control, the man placed his zanpaku-to against the wall and then faced his captain. "And you were trying to drown yourself," he said quietly but firmly.

What was the man saying? He'd only been trying to quench is thirst which had been drying his throat and causing him to imagine things. If he wanted to drown himself, he'd do it in sake. "No."

"Which is my answer to your accusations also. No. None of it is true," his measured tone remained unwavering and cool. "The first time we met, I admired the way you fought Ikkaku and then spared him, encouraging him to improve. At first I dismissed you as nothing more than a hulking brute, and it was almost too late for me to change my mind, but I did."

Too late. Those words, that name again. If he'd managed to seal the blade how different would his life be? All the same, he didn't want to be reminded about his lack of choice. It was infuriating and before he knew it, he raised his fist and punched toward his subordinates face. Using his contaminated blade was out of the question. The way he was feeling he was uncertain if he wanted to wield that thing ever again because it was a reminder of too many things he didn't want to think about.

After ducking the blow, Ayasegawa stated, "Not the face, Captain." That was the odd thing. It wasn't a request or a demand, but a simple statement that carried a certain weight.

He nodded. "Below the neck only," he agreed. What did it matter where he hit the guy? It didn't fuss him where he was struck.

The two fists that thudded into his chest he ignored, though the blows were not inconsiderable. He didn't dodge because he knew he could take the guy. He'd fought him before and could predict his attacks. For a laugh he stood there and let the man strike him, a chop to the neck, feint to the left as he was kicked behind the knee. There were a number of attacks and still he stood there, waiting to see what he'd try next because he wasn't feeling any pain. He refused to feel pain after all those words had leeched into his mind and made it shut down. It was a pleasant change for his mind to remain quiet while the movement around him drew all his concentration. And other stray thought he stifled as being or no importance. Then he became aware of something wrong; an attempt at a hip throw that didn't work because he wasn't off balance or moving. The last move made him frown. Why had Ayasegawa tried that? They'd worked on that move together many times and he'd emphasised that it wouldn't work on a stationary foe. Ayasegawa was a better fighter than that and never wasted an expensive move like that when he knew it would fail. That was one of the things he'd admired about his 5th seat. He was mostly an economical fighter, using the best move to oppose or attack, but now he was acting like a man who would try a sudden move to shock a reaction. Then the man patted his cheek, like he was a child.

He patted his cheek? "What the hell are you doing?" he thundered, grabbing for his shirt only to find he was clasping air.

"Oh, you are there. I thought you'd fallen asleep," was the sarcastic response. "It's insulting to try to fight an opponent who stands there and does nothing. I hit you and I may as well be pretending to touch you for all the effect I was having. What am I meant to do? Draw glasses and a moustache on you while I wait for you to react?" The man was angry, his words delivered with the stinging slap of an offended friend.

"Okay, we'll fight then. Get ready," Zaraki yelled, cracking his knuckles and bending his knees, limbering up slightly to prepare for a bit of exercise.

A pink blur appeared in front of him and hand on hips Yachiru stood there shaking her head at her captain. "No, Ken-chan. No fighting. Not now and not Pretty Boy. The rules have arrived and I've glanced over them."

Zaraki stood still and looked down at his assistant captain, wondering how she would react if he lifted her up and put her out of the way while he did have the fight she was trying to forbid. She was too late anyway; he'd committed himself to this fight.

"Or at least use your zanpaku-to and let Pretty Boy use the kido part of his," Yachiru said steadily, her eyes not leaving Zaraki's for a moment, despite the startled gasp covered by a extended cough from the 5th seat. "You'll need the practice, I know you will."

Once more her steady gaze affected him more than any cut from a blade.

"Assistant Captain, I don't know what you mean," Ayasegawa fanned himself with his hand, the denial sounding unconvincing. "My blade is a normal zanpaku-to and I'm still trying to learn it's name…" he continued and stopped suddenly.

Yachiru had turned her gaze onto him. She looked at him immovable and then her lips curved the merest inch. "I would like to see Mt Fuji. I hear there are peacocks there, either purple or blue," her voice was cool and her eyes flickered.

Zaraki wondered what the girl was gabbling on about. "I'd never heard that Mt Fuji had peacocks and there are enough damned birds in my life," he averred and shook his head. Birds, more birds. He thought vultures were bad, but a flipping peacock would be an irritation beyond even his ability to handle. While he was one of the most even tempered people he knew, when it came to dealing with problems, a peacock would have to be a snob and a damned pain in the neck. For a strange moment he was almost grateful he had a vulture. At least she could look scary when she wanted to. And though she was ungainly she could fly faster than he could run. "What's this about coloured peacocks?"

Ayasegawa looked slightly unwell. The word slightly was an understatement as he'd turned a delicate shade of green and it didn't suit him. Drawing a silk cloth from his sleeve the 5th seat dabbed delicately at his face, obscuring it for some time and then he smiled at his assistant captain in a sickly manner. "This is to pay me back, isn't it?"

The firm shake Yachiru gave with her head was emphasised by her tapping her foot and crossing her arms. "I don't think you're supposed to keep things like that from your Captain. It must be in the rules somewhere, and you know lying to both of us is wrong. Don't worry, we'll pretend we don't know, but you have to practice and so does Ken-chan."

The pieces of the puzzle were gradually becoming clearer. Not only Madarame but Ayasegawa knew the name of their zanpaku-to's and were possibly able to draw on some of their other attributes.

So why did he feel a sharp pang that Yachiru knew? And possibly Madarame, but no one had told him? He began to have an inkling of how hurt Yachiru must have felt when she found he'd been talking to everyone but her about his zanpaku-to's spirit. From being one of the intimate confidantes to being excluded from the most important discussions of a friend's life. The main thing that he wondered about was why she hadn't mentioned it before. It wasn't like her to keep these things bottle up until it was almost too……

Did everything have to return to that?

"Can you see it?" Determined to put all the other things aside to think about later, he turned his attention to Ayasegawa.

"Sssseeee it, Captain?" It was unusual for his 5th seat to stutter, but not surprising in the current situation. "See the spirit? Get it to manifest? Is that what you mean?"

He felt like casting his eyes to the sky, but it was probably understandable. The man liked to keep his secrets, but in the past, when asked directly, he had never lied. "Yeah, that's what I mean."

"Not yet," was the almost apologetic reply. "Every time I talk to him, he, I, we," the words came more slowly and stopped.

"You've got a male spirit?" Zaraki felt a lick of jealousy.

"Yes, but we don't get on," Ayasewaga confessed.

Without meaning to, Zaraki snorted with laughter. He had been disgusted by his spirit and furious over the shape, sex and features. The inability to find common ground with Atonomatsuri had felt like a failing to him, especially after talking to Retsu who was perfectly attuned to the spirit of her zanpaku-to. That had made him imagine that each person who had contacted their spirit had formed a bond that strengthened as time passed, but if he had bothered to ask just one of his subordinates he might have found out he was wrong. His 5th seat, who appeared composed and more devoted to his appearance than Zaraki liked, had trouble with his spirit. Talking about it flustered him, making colour rise in his face. He didn't miss the man trying to smooth his hair as he made the confession.

"It's not my fault! I've tried to be accommodating," he said and then a frown darkened his features as he cocked his head. His lips drew together and he shook his head as if in answer to a comment that Zaraki couldn't hear. Then his lips moved quickly, too fast to work out what he might be saying, but he did not seem happy.

As if becoming aware of what he was doing he looked at Zaraki and Yachiru and held his hands up. "He's impossible."

"I know how you feel," Zaraki said.

"I'm not impossible," Atonomatsuri informed him loftily. "Yachiru thinks I'm special and she worked it out."

"Yachiru thinks ice-cream is special," Zaraki told the bird wryly, but was forced to acknowledge in his mind that she was right.

"Zaraki. Listen. Yachiru wants to talk to you about what you are about to face in the next few days. Listen to her closely and I'll try and fill in the gaps. Ask her nicely, to read it aloud, that way the gorgeous one can hear as well and he might help you gain an advantage. You've underestimated him until now. Don't do it again," Atonomatsuri again spoke to him in that rare voice, the one that showed sense and control.

In spite of himself, he nodded. The bird was making sense and the more he knew about what he was to face, the possibility increased that he would be able to work out what preparations he might need to make.

Yachiru had not said anything for some time as she was watching both men closely. "I feel left out. My spirit won't talk to me, or tell me its name. I don't even know if it's a girl or a boy," she said, suddenly downcast.

"It's a girl," said Ayasewaga decisively. "A male would never permit training wheels to be added," he continued as if to provide an explanation for his assurance.

"A girl?" Yachiru brightened and then her mouth turned down again. "But a boy would be fun too and why would a boy not like the wheels? They're cool," she said soulfully. "Tomorrow I'm going to talk to it and maybe it will answer."

Not wanting to get involved in a discussion about how to talk to zanpaku-to's again, Zaraki intervened. "You said something about the rules?" His assistant captain nodded and held up a sheaf of papers which were crowded with writing.

"There's lots of information here. I haven't had a chance to read them through, but we should," she urged as she waved them around. A few papers escaped her fingers and all of them bent to the task of picking them up. One was caught by the wind and blew against a building. Yachiru grabbed it but looked slightly worried as the paper was tugged by the breeze and it threatened to rip. She shoved it into the bundle of papers she was holding, not checking if it was in the right place, but securing the rest of the rules in a roll which she placed carefully under her sash, making sure it was secure. She nodded, satisfied that this time there would be no mistake, but he was still not certain that the sash would protect them for any length of time.

"Inside," Zaraki ordered. "We don't want to lose anything and it's more comfortable. Besides, he," he said jerking his thumb toward his 5th seat, "might have to check some of this in our records and rule books."

"Thanks, Captain," was the sarcastic reply. "It's nice to know how valued my contribution to the 11th is."

"Oh, shut up. You want compliments, talk to your zanpaku-to," Zaraki said expecting and smiling at the exasperated sigh he heard.

Entering the office again, Zaraki put all the earlier revelations out of his mind. Later was soon enough to think about them. Much later was even better. If he thought about them now he'd reach for the sake bottle but he needed to keep a clear head so he once more placed the kettle on the burner and made tea.

"Captain, why are you making tea?" Ayasegawa asked, his eyes round with surprise. He put down the sake bottle he'd automatically picked up and gathered up some tea cups.

"Because I'm thirsty and you're too lazy to get off your arse," Zaraki replied. "Or even if you're not, I want it within the next 5 minutes and don't need to wait until you finish primping to get moving."

"Ken-chan, why are you being so cranky?" Yachiru asked. "Pretty boy is collecting the cups."

Even as he tried to deny it, he knew it was true. The earlier discussion he'd had with Yachiru had unsettled him and it was difficult to shake off the feeling he'd been used. Was still being used by something or someone who either had no sense of humour, or a sense of humour so warped that it became less funny the longer the joke went on. Why him? There were other people who deserved this sort of attention; people who actually gave a damn.

"Tell me about the rules," he shot back. If he made her talk, maybe she'd stop asking questions.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

More delays! And you're all wondering about the rules and other matters relating to the competition. Next chapter will provide some information. Honest. Would I lie to you?

Apologies, but I have no time to thank each person who reviewed or I won't get this chapter posted. I promise, there will be a showdown/confrontation/verbal sparring match/thumb wrestle (???) between Zaraki and everyone's favourite clown captain soon.

Please review.

MS


	42. Floral Attributes

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). _

**Floral Attributes**

Before Yachiru could say anything Ayasewaga took over the tea making and poured the beverage, handing out the cups in a manner that seemed both obsequious and self congratulatory. After having insulted the man so recently, Zaraki wondered what had happened. The man had no reason to change like that, unless something he'd seen pleased him. He'd probably caught sight of his reflection; that always seemed to cheer him up.

Yachiru looked at Ayasewaga's back for a moment and then her expression cleared as her eyes travelled around the office and she twirled around a few times. She nodded as if confirming something with herself glanced expectantly at her Captain. He frowned back, wondering what she was trying to tell him this time. Why couldn't people say what they meant without hinting, and indicating? What was the problem with saying what was meant or meaning what was said? Even if it wasn't fashionable, it meant a hell of a lot less time wasting. Yachiru widened her eyes and spread her hands as if indicating the room. With little hope of gaining an understanding of what she meant he stared at the wall and then the window. The curtain seemed different. Why was that?

There was a screen in one corner of the room that he didn't remember. Slowly it dawned on him. The office was painted and fully functional, no bugs remained and all memories of the previous captain were now removed. The paint scheme, he supposed that was what it was, didn't strike him as being overly feminine, but the place felt better. The chair he was sitting on was firm and supportive but comfortable and the scent of well cured leather tickled his nostrils. Maybe he should say something.

"Good job, Ayasewaga," was enough he thought.

"I'm pleased you're enjoying the tea," was the pert response.

"I meant the room." Hell, the man was enjoying this and forcing him to say it. Why? And why did he feel obligated to even notice aside from Yachiru's expectations?

"Because it's polite, Kenny. Politeness become princes," his zanpaku-to's spirit gleefully informed him.

"Become princes' what?" he replied, half aware of what he was saying. Maybe the adage was complete, but it didn't make much sense to him. But then, most of what the bird said made no sense.

"Oh, thank you, Captain. I tried. I left orders that it be finished while we were in that meeting today and I came here to make certain that everything was up to my standards." Walking to the screen, Ayasewaga moved one panel slightly and then wiped the area his fingers had touched with a fine cloth. "That lacquer is particularly fine and glossy. It is a superior example of the period and should appreciate in value. It was worth the money spent," he said in a satisfied tone.

Zaraki looked at the screen. It was nice, he supposed, but it looked expensive. So did his new chair. How much money had been spent on beautifying the office? In the midst of anger at the possible cost, the remembered trade off stuck him. If the office was pleasant his Fifth seat had agreed to do most of the paperwork, subject to bribery. Suddenly the cost wasn't too great; anything to be free of the damned paperwork. Feeling a rush of relief he stretched, hearing the chair creak, but give gently under him, unlike the previous one, which had been showing many signs of wear.

"Hey, Ken-chan. When you're finished with the Clown Captain and this trial thingy, can we have a party? An office warming? Show everybody how nice it looks," was the excited comment elicited from Yachiru. "And Pretty Boy can start on making my room look pretty."

"Who would I…" he almost said invite and then it struck him that while there were a number of people he could invite now; he didn't want to have a party. Unless the party meant lots of drinking and fighting.

"I'll organise everything," Yachiru said.

"No, you won't. I'll organise it," Ayasewaga snapped in quickly. "Otherwise the only food will be sweets, chocolate and those disgusting sweet drinks you insist you like so much."

"People like lollies, except for Ken-chan. And those drinks are not disgusting. They're sweet and taste of fruit. They don't rot your brain," was the passionate reply.

"Only your teeth. They're sweet and sticky and make a mess when you spill them, or destroy the polish and eat through the wood like acid" Ayasewaga wasn't going to allow Yachiru to change the subject. "Adults," and he emphasised the word heavily, "and sophisticated people expect to be offered a variety of drinks, including alcohol and snacks." He sat down as if underlining his point and made certain that he sat beautifully.

"What's a party without sake?" Zaraki said without thinking and then almost gagged.

Yachiru began to giggle, immediately joined by Ayasewaga who picked up a pen and began to write. "Can I use that in the invitation, Captain?"

"No." Rhymes, even accidental, had no place in his life. "Why are we talking about this? We've got tomorrow and the next day to get through and I might be dead by the time any celebration could be organised." Without meaning to, his voice had deepened. It didn't matter that he'd be dead, not really, but it seemed a pain in the rear that he didn't get to meet and fight his successor to see if he was fit to lead Eleventh Division.

"Or she," the words were in his mind and he wondered why he'd felt the need to even consider a female as the next captain.

"Unlikely," he grunted at Atonomatsuri, as he worked out who was forcing him to consider a female. "I don't think my men would accept a female as leader."

"And your Assistant Captain is what exactly? A transvestite child? She is the logical choice to be the next Captain," were the hard facts presented to him. "That is why she is the Assistant Captain."

The bird was right. He'd never really thought of Yachiru as the next captain, well not with any purpose. "I guess, I imagined…… Madarame might take over."

"Because he has bankai and Yachiru doesn't?" Atonomatsuri was not letting this go. At least that wasn't out of character. "Or because he's an adult male and Yachiru is female in the semblance of a child? Or you expect to be able to protect her once you're dead? Do you plan to live forever?"

Gulping his tea, he ignored the questions. They raised difficulties that he didn't want to face. "Tell me about the rules or at least let me know about this contest," he instructed his second in command.

She stopped giggling and became solemn and sat on the edge of a chair that he was sure had been chosen with her in mind. It was, regretfully pink in parts, black and white where it wasn't pink well padded and smaller than the other chairs in the room. "I know you read about it once Ken-chan, but I think you might have dozed off and missed bits."

Shrugging he nodded, grudgingly. "Yeah. I might have. It's not exactly easy to read."

"Weren't there any pictures, Kenny Boy? Or were the words too long?" the bird asked with false sympathy.

"Well, there can be up to 13 challenges," Yachiru said.

He was pleased she spoke so he didn't have to answer Atonomatsuri. The revelation was enough to make him sit and think about it. 13 possible challenges. That was not good news and from the expression of his friend's face he knew that it might just become worse.

"Because you and the Clown are Captains they've removed two of them because each challenge comes from each Division. As you're Captains, the rules automatically determine that you would win that challenge and so they're not included."

That made sense, in a Seireitei sort of way. "Eleven challenges, hey?" he said, a smile lighting his face. "My lucky number."

He couldn't be mistaken. The girl looked at the paper she was holding and squirmed in her seat as if it was not as cosy as it looked. She glanced from the paper and saw he was watching her. "You see Ken-chan; you know each Division has a flower and a meaning?"

He found his head was nodding in agreement, without thinking about it. "Our motto is Fight and the flower is the Yarrow. Good thing it wasn't anything sissy like a Chrysanthemum or and Orchid," he commented.

"But, Captain, the Chrysanthemum is the emblem of First Division," the worry in Ayasewaga's voice couldn't be mistaken.

He thought about it for a moment. No matter which way he looked at it, he still hated the flower but didn't know what he could say. He hadn't become a captain because of his diplomatic abilities. "So? Does that mean I have to suddenly develop a passion for the damned things? They're ugly."

"No, but maybe don't mention it again," was the suggestion from the self-possessed subordinate.

Zaraki waved his hand. "Yeah, yeah. Fine. Get on with it Yachiru."

She nibbled her lip and unwrapped some lollies which she placed in her mouth and crunched loudly. It was a sign of her agitation as she usually sucked those, one at a time but Zaraki waited patiently, only tapping his foot and slapping his hand on his knee. If she needed the false courage that the sweets provided, who was he to deny her?

Frustrated after a few minutes he tried to take the papers from her, but she shook her head and clutched them strongly. "Wait, Ken-chan. I'm trying to work out the best way of telling you this."

"Start at the beginning and work through it 'til you get to the end," was the first thing he thought of to say and then said it.

Narrowing one eye she tried to quell him with her annoyed gaze. He'd seen it before and only smiled at her.

"Well the way the rules read, each Captain, or representative, has to devise a test or challenge based on either the motto or emblem of the division, though the meaning of the flower is also the motto, or something I think," her voice trailed away again and she unwrapped another sweet which she sucked thoughtfully.

"Can we ignore the frig… flowers, and concentrate on the meanings?" was his irritated suggestion.

"Captain Zaraki. Do you know the meanings of all the Divisions?" Ayasegawa was combing his hair as he asked, the glossy black filaments obscuring his face. The man was developing into an increasingly annoying being with all the preening he was doing.

All those meanings? He knew his own because that was important. He'd joked once with Madarame about the meaning of the Ninth Division because it was 'Oblivion' and he thought it reflected the Captain of the time pretty well, oblivious to everyone and not because he was blind, but because he was distant in spirit. Uninterested in everyone else, even the members of his own Division. Yet if Ayasegawa was asking, maybe he knew the meanings.

"Do you?"

"No."

"If you would both give me a chance, I'll tell you," Yachiru said impatiently. "First Division is Truth and Innocence."

There was silence as they each thought about it. A smile threatened to twist Zaraki's lips as he first heard the meaning. Truth? Often the old man seemed eager to conceal the truth, sooner than follow it through to the inevitable conclusion. Innocence was a word that seemed to have no place in the Seireitei, at least not now. Any innocence had been corrupted by recent events. How anyone could apply a test for innocence he wasn't certain, but if Yamamoto was devising the test, it was sure to be difficult, convoluted and would only be solved at particular cost to anyone involved.

"Assistant Captain, from what I've heard about similar contests, one competitor can win if they win a certain number in a row," Ayasegawa had not allowed any sign of concentration to show visibly, but his eyes were intense.

"Who would have thought that handsome face hid a clever mind? Do not be born good or handsome, but be born lucky. If he was female, I'd advise you to marry him."

The vulture's voice broke into his thoughts and her words caused revulsion. By far he would have preferred to be able to concentrate on what was being said, but his mind was throwing images of a feminised Ayasegawa before him, not that it needed to work hard. The supple neck and white skin, the delicate wrists. It took some effort, and much frantic internal swearing and blasphemy to enable Zaraki to refocus on what was being said. Too often this was happening, words summoning unnecessary images at him as a result of the vulture's comments. His mind was working too hard and most of its workings seemed centred on making him as wary as he could possibly be. Worst of all, it was becoming pretty obvious that Atonomatsuri knew that and was using the situation to keep him from getting comfortable. That didn't make sense. With her as the spirit of his zanpaku-to, how could he ever be relaxed or feel he was in charge of any thing?

The nodding of Yachiru's head showed that he hadn't missed much. That meant he could get the damned thing out of the way quickly and then he could get on with the other things he wanted to do, like learning how to use the new form of his blade and working out its problematical power. And finding a way to keep the bird quiet. That would be good.

"If one competitor can win six challenges in a row, and they have to be real wins, not draws, then the challenges are over, provided the Commander General agrees. If he disagrees, then the whole list of challenges need to be met," Yachiru trailed off, looking unhappy. "Or if one of the challengers insists, the whole set of challenges has to be completed, no matter of there is only one left to complete and there is a clear winner."

"Great," Zaraki said, heavily. Was the Clown Captain the sort of person who would insist that all the challenges be completed if he lost the first six? He didn't need to consider the matter for very long before he worked out the answer. "What about the rest of these blasted meaning?"

"Second Division's flower is the Tulip and the meaning of Seek Nothing," Yachiru said. "Captain Fon runs covert ops and the prison. There could be all manner of meanings behind those words, either as a threat or something else."

Zaraki nodded shortly. Seek nothing. Neither knowledge, assurance, nor assistance and yet he had requested assistance from the Captain of Second Division. Or did it relate to a philosophy of acceptance: seek nothing because everything that was necessary would come of its own accord. But considering the nature of the Second Division that sort of theory made no sense. Seek nothing…desire nothing? Require nothing?

"I'll run through the list quickly, unless you want to go slowly, Ken-chan. What do you want to do?"

Musing on the question he asked, "Do we have a copy of that list?"

Yachiru regretfully shook her head. "I haven't ever seen one of these before."

"I could write out a copy," Ayasewaga suggested, "but if you read it out first it will help me think while I write. I've had one or two ideas about First Division, but until I know the meanings of the rest of them, I can't be sure."

"You were meant to learn them at the academy," Yachiru pointed out. Her teeth gleamed sweetly behind her lips as she made a mocking face at the Fifth seat.

"The Soul Reaper Academy? You also attended that place, didn't you Assistant Captain?" Ayasewaga's face was the perfect representation of the respectful subordinate. "I might have been absent during that class, or perhaps the teacher was away, or forgot."

"Not bloody likely." Vague memories of the class awoke in Zaraki's mind. He'd been annoyed by the noise of the instructor's voice which had kept changing pitch almost coinciding with the times he'd nearly slipped into a doze. Subtle though it had been, it had made him sit up and rouse slightly until his eyes again began to droop. Had the man been watching him? Damn Yamamoto might have done precisely that, because he had been the one teaching the class. Worse, he'd made them answer a quiz the next lesson and Zaraki had barely scraped a pass. If he hadn't been half awake during the class, he would have failed abysmally.

"It wasn't important enough to remember," Ayasegawa tried a different tack. "What's the point of symbolism?"

"It's important now," Zaraki pointed out wondering why he had to explain.

"Yes, I know that, but I didn't know it at the time," was the slow justification.

"I don't remember much about it either, Ken-chan and neither do you," Yachiru's elbows were on the papers and her face rested between her palms. "If they wanted us to remember they should make it into a song with a catchy tune. Then we could sing it at parties."

The Fifth seat tried. It was obvious that he was attempting to keep his façade of indifference intact, but his mouth was twisting. Yachiru noticed and began to make a range of her most ferocious faces at him, in between giggles. Eventually they both broke into laughter.

"Who'd sing it? Yamamoto and the Captains? Can you imagine Captain Frosty performing a duet with Ken-chan?"

Zaraki was beginning to feel slighted. Were they being rude about his singing voice, or was Yachiru making jokes about the Sixth Division Captain?

"Or Captain Unohana trying to harmonise with Captain Komamura? Or even worse, the Captain-General singing?" Ayasegawa was bent double, his hair hanging over his face as he heaved with laughter.

The thought was absurd. The Captain-General would never sing; should never sing. If he did, it would be some old warrior ballad that went on for many verses that extolled the joy of doing one's duty and following orders. There would be a heavy martial beat and if Zaraki had to sit through it he'd be forced to kill someone, just to break the tedium.

"Yachiru, Ayasegawa, we're not here to make jokes about songs. I need to know about this thrice damned list of possible challenges I have to meet. So far, all I've learnt is there can be up to eleven and they're based on the Division that makes them up. Right, so what's the one for that sad bast… The guy who's trying to fill in for Ichimaru?"

"Guess, Captain?" Ayasegawa had glance at the paper and was still giggling, apparently amused by what he'd read.

"Depression? Treachery? Slyness?" He hated guessing games and resented having to participate.

"Despair. The flower is the Marigold," Yachiru's voice held a note of reproof.

Slowly, his head nodding, Zaraki could almost see it. Ichimaru had been distanced from the rest of the Captains because of his propensity for teasing and gossip. He'd spent a lot of time estranging people, either actively or through using others. Look at the way he'd treated the woman who loved him and the man who had supported him. Setting Izuru and Rangiku to fight one another had been malicious, but making Izuru and his little friend, Aizen's second in command, fight was the sign of a man without pity. If he'd had the time, would he have put Abarai and Izuru in a position where they too would fight, or Abarai and the girl, the one who was still unconscious? He knew they'd formed a strong friendship back in the Soul Academy and fighting between them had been considered unthinkable. The man had twisted friendships to almost breaking point.

His lips quirked as he thought about the same tactics being used on Abarai and Madarame. It wouldn't matter what Ichimaru had done there, those two would fight anyway, for fun, to prove who was better, or over whose turn it was to get the sake, or any reason. And then they'd laugh and make another stupid bet that would probably end with one or the other, or even both confined to cells.

"Okay. That's three. If we keep on at this pace it'll be next week before we've gone through the list." He was becoming a little impatient and wanted everything made clear so he could plan.

"Then listen. Fourth, that's Lolly, has the Bellflower with the meaning 'Those who grieve are loved. Fifth, that's Aizen's one is the Lily of the Valley and the meaning is Sacrifice, Danger and Pure Love," Yachiru continued.

"That can't be right." Although he knew he was meant to remain quiet, the description for the Fifth Division seemed at odds with its previous captain, unless it meant sacrificing everything to ambition, danger to the Seireitei and pure love of power.

"Hush, Ken-chan."

"The Lily of the Valley is poisonous which seems right," Ayasewaga commented dreamily. "I wonder who will make up the challenge for that one since the Assistant Captain is still unconscious."

"A lot of flowers are poisonous if you eat them," Yachiru told them. "But why would you? I can't imagine snacking on a bunch of Marigolds. Talking about snacks…." She paused and looked expectantly at her captain.

"You've got your lollies. What do you expect me to do? Have some tea. Any snacks would have been thrown out when the room was redecorated," he protested, annoyed at feeling even the slightest stab of guilt.

Ayasewaga smiled and in a few seconds produced a selection of buns, cakes and fruit from the new cabinet on which he'd been resting his arm. "I thought the Assistant Captain might become hungry. You do keep insisting we learn, captain, so I thought I'd remember my lessons." He smiled complacently at the joyful cries of Yachiru who immediately seized a number of buns and cakes, placing them carefully in front of her before she began to eat. The grateful nod he received from Zaraki he returned and then he selected some of the fruit for himself. "It's better for my complexion than all those empty carbohydrates," he muttered as if to himself.

Giving into temptation, Zaraki munched on a few convenient buns and some fruit as he thought it through. It wasn't enough. "In between filling your face, tell us the rest of it," he instructed Yachiru. "What's Sixth Division?"

"A Camellia and it means: Noble reason," she licked the filling off her fingers with satisfaction. "I wonder if the use of the word Noble is deliberate," she mused. A blob of bean paste landed on her uniform and she scooped it up with her finger and sucked them thoughtfully, but with every sign of enjoyment.

"Probably," Zaraki said gloomily. Noble reason sounded like it would involve some sort of mental competition and knowing how Kuchiki thought he was certain it was going to be painfully convoluted and glaringly obvious at the same time.

"Iba's Captain runs Seventh Division," the Fifth seat said reflectively. "I wonder if he will have anything to do with setting up the challenge. Maybe we could get Ikkaku to have a talk to him."

"But that would be cheating," Yachiru said reprovingly, her mouth full of cake.

"Just changing the odds slightly," Zaraki amended thoughtfully.

"It won't happen," was the confident reply. "The flower is the Iris and the meaning is Courage. Rayban's won't betray his captain, not even for Baldy. Not even for a vat of sake. He'd do anything for Inspector Rex."

Finally, one of the meanings sounded like something he would have no trouble with meeting its challenge. Courage was something that actually meant something. The Twelfth Division Captain acted like a weasel whenever courage was required; ducking and weaving out of the way, using his subordinates as shields and disposing of them as if they were little more than wooden soldiers. That was one thing he would have to keep in mind through this whole contest. The man had an over developed instinct for self preservation, at any cost to others.

"Do we know about his weaknesses?" The question popped out, following what he'd been thinking.

"Why are we worrying about Captain Komamura's weaknesses?" The perplexed look on Ayasewaga's face showed that he hadn't explained his train of thought.

"Not him. Kurotsuchi. His weaknesses," Zaraki confirmed.

Yachiru looked thoughtful and Ayasegawa shifted a little as if he was fighting an impulse to blurt out information. Waiting for either of them to speak, Zaraki knew that both of them would have to know something. Why they were hesitating he didn't know, but if they had discussed the weaknesses with the man's second in command, did that mean they would have disclosed any of his weaknesses?

A new thoughtfulness overcame him. Weakness? Him? Kenpachi Zaraki, weak? It was true he hadn't achieved bankai, yet, but he had learnt to change to form of his zanpaku-to, but he hadn't much practice in using the new form. The method of using the 'too late powers' was still foreign to him and because of the chancy nature of the thing, it could well affect him badly, and his opponent.

The whole challenge thing wasn't only focused on his physical attributes. The cunning mind of his opponent was definitely a factor that would work directly against Zaraki. He'd have to hope that most of the challenges relied on either brawn or the agility of his body rather than his mind.

"Your mind is more suited to this than it would have been three weeks ago." Atonomatsuri said, her voice level.

He hadn't expected any assurance from the bird, not regarding his mental abilities. Her usual put downs and sarcastic comments about his intellectual competence made him feel inadequate, not that he'd show it or mention it. Now he was receiving her support he felt confused and tried not to display his reaction to her unexpected statement.

"I'll work on a list, of his known weaknesses," was the reluctant offer of his Fifth seat. "But most of them have an element of strength to them; ways of making it extremely difficult to defeat him," he added hastily as Zaraki nodded.

"And he doesn't know you've been thinking more, Ken-chan, at least I haven't told anyone," was the unwanted announcement by Yachiru. At his start of surprise at the comment, she added ruefully, "No one expects you to be brainy because you only fight. Most people believe I only think about lollies and snacking."

After an assessing look, Ayasewaga said, "But that's what you planned, Assistant Captain."

The sullen look that crossed her face made Zaraki wonder what other conflicting thoughts the girl was having. "But no one ever looks deeper. They accept what they see on the surface and prefer to deal with that."

"Except Kurotsuchi. Remember, he learnt from you about how to…."

"Oh. But we weren't going to talk about that." The defensiveness in her face, protruding bottom lip and posture warned of either tears of a fight occurring within a very short time. He didn't want this to degenerate into an exchange of insults.

This wasn't getting them anywhere. Trying to draw them back to the matter that most interested him, he cuffed Ayasewaga over the head, disarranging his hair and causing him to urgently run to the mirror to check his appearance.

"Why'd you do that to Pretty Boy?"

"You're both getting off the point. I need to know about the rest of the Divisions. Unless you're ready to hand over that paper…," he said rapidly.

"But I like reading aloud. It means you listen to me and pay attention to what I have to say."

Whether she meant it as another reminder of his recent neglect, it struck him as such. He scowled at her, offended by the attempt to make him feel guilty, but Yachiru just grinned at him and poked out her tongue. "You should always listen to me Ken-chan because I'm always right."

"No you're not," Ayasewaga contradicted her, assured now that his hair hadn't suffered any permanent damage.

"I'm your Assistant Captain, so I'm always right," Yachiru said lightly.

"But I'm your Captain," Zaraki began. "So I must be…"

"No, you're my Ken-chan," she paused and wrinkled her nose at him as he began to remonstrate, "And my Captain. But you were my Ken-chan first, before anything. Under the clouds."

"Under the clouds," he repeated, caught by the moment and the memory.

"Under the sky and above the ground, not in the water, nor the snow," Ayasegawa chimed in, breaking the few moments of reverie.

"Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about. All you know if how to look pretty and talk to girls and have fights with your zanpaku-to. Maybe I should call you 'Peacock'," Yachiru wasn't happy about the mockery, that much was plain.

A fleeting look of anguish crossed the man's face. "Please, don't."

"Distract them, Zaraki. Come on. I want to know about Eighth Division," the blaring command from Atonomatsuri made Zaraki start and he stumbled into conversation before forming his thoughts coherently.

"Eighth. What it about?"

"A lucky number, normally," was the unexpected response from Ayasewaga.

"I meant Eighth Division. I don't want to talk about numbers. It's bad enough having to discuss flowers," Zaraki corrected him.

Glancing at the list, his friend giggled slightly. "Captain Casanova has the Bird of Paradise as a flower. It's a funny flower, all spiky and colourful and large. He's got the best meaning, aside from ours of course. It's 'Everything is Obtained'. I don't think that's true, otherwise Dizzy would be nicer to him."

"She is nice to him," Zaraki stated recalling how she treated her captain with more respect than he was being shown.

"She orders him around all the time," Yachiru asserted.

Without intending to, one of his eyebrows rose and a small smile forced itself on his mouth. "She does?"

"And she tells him what to eat and how to behave," Yachiru continued.

"I see," he said smoothly.

"And tries to stop him drinking sake," was the next charge.

"And does she ride on his back as well?"

The smile on Yachiru's face faded and she glared at her captain. "I'm nothing like Dizzy Izzy. I'm nice to you Ken-chan. I even tell you jokes."

He nodded, amused. "And share your sweets with me," he said, wondering how she would react.

"Sometimes. When you're good," she amended.

Ayasewaga, not willing to be left out of the conversation added, "I prefer you as my Assistant Captain. At least I don't have to worry what will happen when you take off your glasses. Or maybe that's how everything is obtained," he added darkly. "She threatens to remove her glasses and people do what she tells them."

"Don't be silly. Dizzy Izzy is nice, once you get to know her…."

"Or perform a coup and take over her prized position as President of the Shinigami Women's Association," Atonomatsuri did not hide admiration in her voice. "She may look young, but I wouldn't want to attempt to out strategise her. Don't judge a book by its cover."

Instead of falling to the ground and foaming at the mouth or attempting seppuku at the adage, Zaraki simply rolled his eyes, and contemplated how many of his brain cells died each time an adage was uttered. Would it be as much as when he drank a cup of sake?

"Now Ninth Division," Yachiru continued unaware of the comments made by the vulture, "Ninth Division." She stopped and slanted her eyes quickly at her Captain.

"Oblivion, yeah, that's one I know."

"The flower is the Buttercup," was the prim reminder. "Do you think Buttercups are oblivious or they mean oblivion? They're just yellow and pretty. I don't see how you'd get a meaning like that from a buttercup. People call their cattle "Buttercup' if they like them. Do you think the cow notices? Is that why it means oblivion because so many cows are called Buttercup and they don't care?"

Ayasewaga crossed his right leg over his left and smoothed the material of his hakama under his fingers. "I don't know and I can't say I care much," he said. "It's just a flower."

"But it must mean something else. Otherwise, what's the point?"

Yachiru had asked the question that had been at the back of Zaraki's mind. What was the point of the flower symbols? There had to be a deeper meaning.

"Do you want me to explain, Kenny boy?" Atonomatsuri's voice sounded keen to advise.

"No."

With a brief shrug, Yachiru continued after looking at the list. "Oooh, goody. Now we come to the Tenth and Captain Pickle. He keeps insisting he's taller than me, but he won't let me check because he's too busy. I used to call him Piccolo but he got upset so I call him Pickle now and he hates that too. Why's he always busy Ken-chan and why does he do all that paperwork? Does he like it? Why? And Captain Great keeps giving him sweets and not me. I think it's unfair."

Pickle? She now called Hitsugaya, Pickle? Maybe because of the green, he could see that, but Piccolo would have really annoyed the kid. He hated it when anyone commented on his size. Soon he might receive a stiff note asking him to discipline his Assistant Captain regarding names. Too bad. The kid would have to live with it. They all had to face certain issues. It was part of being a captain. And who was Captain Great?

"You get enough sweets. Anyway what's the meaning?" She'd tell him, eventually.

"The flower is a Daffodil and the meaning is 'Mystery and Egoism'. That's sort of appropriate, isn't it? Though Pretty Boy should really be the captain of Tenth, except for the mystery part. The egoism would…."

"Assistant Captain, you're hurting my feelings," Ayasewaga commented blandly. "Do you wish me to cry now, or should I wait until I'm alone?"

Tilting her head to one side, Yachiru looked at him thoughtfully. Zaraki could see no sign of tears, but he knew his Fifth seat was experienced at concealing his feelings. Did he mean the words this time or was he simply teasing his superior officer?

"Do you want me to give you my hanky? You can cry now, if you want to, I don't mind." Yachiru said carefully.

Suddenly he smiled at her and said, "You could add the mystery. The mystery of how many sweets you can eat."

"Or how many times you look in the mirror every day," she fought back.

They were so close to the end and were getting distracted again. "Kurotsuchi. I know I don't need to worry about Twelfth, but tell me, just to keep it clear, what's the meaning?"

Mechanically, the answer was given. "Vengeance, strictness, independence and the flower is the Thistle."

The contrast of those words struck him. It seemed wrong to have them together, almost as if they were warring with each other. Had the man taken the meaning of his Division to heart, or was it a coincidence?

"Premeditated coincidence. Synchronicity"

He'd been thinking along similar lines, but to hear the vulture voice the words made his leg twitch. Synchronicity. The word pried at the edge of his consciousness, trying to find purchase so it could become clear, but for the time it was only hovering. Later, when he had time, then he could work it out.

"Vengeance. Strictness. But the man hates independence. Any sign of it in his daughter is punished. The only independence that piece of garbage wants is from the commands of the Captain-General," Ayasewaga's tone was disparaging. The loathing in which he held the Twelfth Division Captain was becoming more blatant.

"We've got to the last one. Captain Greats Division."

That meant that Ukitake was Captain Great. How did she get that name? "Yachiru, I don't understand the name."

"It's easy Ken-chan. His flower is the Summer Snowflake and the meaning is Hope. Do you understand now?"

Snowflakes and hope? What did that have to do with calling him great?

Atonomatsuri chuckled deeply and with delight. Once more he was reminded that he didn't like it when she chuckled, especially with such a level of satisfaction. No matter what this was about, he wasn't going to like it. As time passed and she didn't make any comment he steeled himself and then said, "Explain."

Her eyes widening, Yachiru looked at her friend and then glanced for support from the Fifth seat. Perplexed he returned her look and shrugged, evidently as confused as Zaraki.

A deep swallow, a shallow grin and Yachiru reluctantly, "It's one of those things you don't like, Ken-chan."

"An adage?"

"Uhuh."

Did he want to know? Would it matter? "Tell me."

"Well, his hair is white, and the Summer snowflake is white and the Division has the motto of Hope, and his Division think he's wonderful and they're so protective of him…" the girl was gabbling.

"Get on with it."

"He's like the Great White Hope. So Captain Great," her voice tailed off.

In response he grunted and shook his head. Would any of this prove to be of help with the challenges? Bare facts only gave an indication. The pain would come from trying to work out what the challenges might be.

No clue presented itself to him.

"Look at it this way, Kenny," Atonomatsuri suggested.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

Garble narble zovs gleep blurp splinge bzuinj ydohrti sproing nurgle.

The above sentence explains clearly the reason for the time it took me to write this chapter. Translations welcome.

I suppose an explanation is owed for one of the nicknames Yachiru creates in this chapter. She calls Captain Komamura Sajin 'Inspector Rex'. 'Inspector Rex' is an Austrian (not Australian) police drama series which features a very talented Alsatian dog called Rex. As the good captain looks a like a wolf and wolves and Alsatians look similar, it seemed a logical explanation, but then we could debate how would she know of the existence of this TV series? Rukia told her. Yes, that's right. Rukia told her all about it after she returned to the Seireitei. Problem solved.

Onto the challenges. I've tried to provide some clues as to what they might be, so let's see who manages to read between the lines, beside the lines, the lines, behind the lines, skirting around the lines and near the lines. Taking the lines hostage and torturing them for information is illegal under the Shinigami Convention and can lead to 100 years imprisonment with hard labour and only Reality TV shows as entertainment. You have been warned.

Thanks to Evilhumour Author, iron elsar (the chapters did get longer after chapter 2), snowecat, ironjaw, Ancestor's Dragon, ItachiJr08, star's dream, Sonnie (Years? I know. It's scary.), SithKnight-Galen, tanith-448, Azuvala Assantri, iron elsar, Condor-Green and Joakim609 for the reviews.

Gratitude to the person who compiled the list of flowers and meanings for the Divisions on Wikipedia. It made writing this much easier.

Please review.

MS


	43. Rules are Meant

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). _

**Rules are Meant**

Before he could protest against looking at anything Atonomatsuri wanted to show him, Yachiru handed a page to Ayasegawa who had seated himself at an artfully concealed desk. He immediately began to copy the list. For some reason Zaraki actually looked at the piece of furniture and noticed the desk was beautiful. Made of carved rosewood it was both deceptively delicate and overtly strong, much like the man sitting at it. It didn't surprise him that his 5th seat would choose such a setting for his work. Not that he begrudged him, if it meant he was now free of the damned paperwork. That was worth any price.

The fifth seat wrote quickly and within a few minutes he handed them both the list, neatly written in elegant calligraphy, with the relevant details. On holding the list in his hand, Zaraki knew this was the key, but he wondered how much more information Yachiru was withholding.

"What else, kid?" he asked. He knew she would tell him everything, but some times she wanted to be coaxed to reveal all the information. "Who judges?"

"There are three judges for each part. One is the person who made up the test."

That made sense.

"The other two are chosen randomly, but only Captains, Assistant Captains and Third seats are allowed to be judges," was the startling revelation.

"Third seats?" Ayasegawa had the pursed lips of some one who wasn't very happy about what they were hearing. Did he feel slighted?

"On the first three ranks can be included as judges because they're judging Captains. It's meant to be peers who decide and anyone below a third seat should tell their captain if they can bankai," Yachiru said and then looked at her subordinate.

Ayasewaga appeared torn and then shrugged. The man was, as always, careful with sharing information. "Why include third seats?"

"Because we're missing three Captains and two Assistant Captains, if you count Captain Pickles friend, the Sleeping 'Princess'." The sly emphasis on the word 'Princess' was a good indication of how Yachiru felt about the Assistant Captain of Fifth Division. "Any person selected can only judge three competitions at the very most. Captains can judge three, Assistant Captains two, unless they don't have a captain which means they can judge three and Third seats, judge one unless they don't have an Assistant Captain which means they can judge two."

Feeling his eyes starting to revolve at the complex explanation, Zaraki went through it slowly. Then again. Then once more. Almost giving up, he went through it backwards and decided he had straightened it out. "Let's put it this way: Izuru should be only able to judge two, but because Ichimaru buggered off, he can judge three."

"That's right Ken-chan. I knew I explained it properly," his subordinate beamed at him.

"What happens with Fifth Division?" Atonomatsuri was sticking her beak in, but the question was relevant.

As he repeated the question he watched Yachiru scan the papers and she shook her head. "I suppose the Third seat can judge twice. Do you think whoever it is will have to make up the challenge as well?"

Interest in the set up of other Divisions had never been his strong point. Why would he bother? He'd risen as high as he ever wanted to go and didn't aspire to replace either the Old Man or join the Zero group. Why he'd bother finding out about third seats made no sense. Fighting them would be the only interest and he doubted any of them would be any test to him.

His attention was caught by the flutter of paper that Yachiru was reluctantly holding out to him. "You'll have to read this Ken-chan. There are rules, and exceptions to the rules and one-off rules," she shook her head. "I think Captain Great and Captain Casanova must have gotten bored at one point."

That was bad news.

"Idle minds are the devil's workshop," Atonomatsuri said quietly, but she was wrong. The problem with clever people is boredom could lead to ideas, and Ukitake bored would be far more dangerous than Kyoraku drunk.

"Can't you explain it to me?"

"I could try, but I'm getting sleepy and the words are getting muddled in my head." She bit her lip and then said, "You've got to win, Ken-chan. I'll never forgive you if you lose."

"I won't lose," he said with an assurance he only half believed and took the pages outlining the rules with a mixture of reluctance and foreboding. Reading it would put him to sleep, he was sure of that, but if he didn't read it, he'd be at a disadvantage. Either way, it wasn't going to be a pleasant evening and he would be advised not to drink. Bloody Kurotsuchi! The man was forcing his life into the twin punishments of sobriety and reading. Where was the fun in that?

"Wisdom cannot be found in the bottom of a bottle," was the sage advice of Atonomatsuri.

"I thought that was forgetfulness and it can," he sniped back. It was a conspiracy. Every moment made it clearer. "And I'll drink if I feel like it," he announced.

"Does that mean you're thirsty? Do you want more tea, Ken-chan?" was the quick offer by Yachiru.

How were the bird and the girl communicating? "Oh, hell," he grumbled as his cup was refreshed and he sipped at it.

Lifting his eyes from the paper he was studying, Ayasegawa made Zaraki's hopes sink even further as he said, "Trying to work out the possibilities isn't going to be easy.'

"I never thought it would," was his grudging reply.

"But I can give some hints. ," Atonomatsuri said, unperturbed by their earlier interchange. "And you still need to fight me for training purposes. You promised earlier."

"And how would you know about the tests?" mocked Zaraki. "Are you a mind reader? I still don't believe you can foretell the future and you're pretty dodgy on recalling the past. As for fighting; later."

"Why must you block me when I'm trying to help? We're in this together, you know. All for one and one for all."

"And all for nothing. Go on then, hint if you're so keen," Zaraki didn't believe that he'd receive much help, but he wasn't sure what the bird knew. She might surprise him and provide some pointers.

"I'll jot down some possibilities, Captain," Ayasewaga said as he lifted a brush, one eyebrow quirked interrogatively. "Writing this down made me consider a few alternatives."

As he nodded, Yachiru chimed in. "I've got some ideas too. Let's have a competition to see who gets them right." Then her face fell as she realised what she was saying. "I mean, I know this is serious, but I don't want to think about that. Serious things aren't much fun."

"With your help, how can I lose?" Zaraki pretended an assurance he didn't feel. "Anyway, it's only Kurotsuchi. I doubt even his daughter will try to help him."

Yachiru brightened and picked up a pencil and some paper. She looked at the list and began writing, her tongue poking out the side of her mouth.

With immense reluctance Zaraki picked up a pencil and paper, preparing to write. He hated the way the pencil felt between his fingers and the unnatural cramped position he needed to hold the thing in order to write. It would only take minutes and he'd need to rest his hand, he was sure of that. Another reason why he avoided paperwork!

"For 1st Division," Atonomatsuri said chattily, "it would be easier if it was centred on truth. Maybe you'll have to answer some questions truthfully and have a lie detector hooked up. If either of you fail, you fail the test."

Scrubbing at his eyes with one hand he considered the suggestion. It seemed simplistic and while it was a possible solution, it didn't seem probable. Knowing the old man, it was more likely that he'd try to combine truth and innocence, but how he would manage that was not easy to imagine. Truth was not always innocent, nor did the innocent always speak or even represent the truth. And how did anything qualify as innocent? There was always the sexual purity angle, but he was certain that aspect would not be included. So what sort of innocence was left? Were ignorance and innocence the same? And there always remained the question of truth. Truth was not a constant. It varied with each person and was problematic at best.

A few words caught his eye and he picked up the pages Yachiru had given him. Unbelievingly he read "Two Divisions may combine their test, if it is so agreed by the respective Captains or representatives of these Divisions. In this instance both Captains, or representatives will be judges of the result and the test may compromise of two parts."

"Ah, Damnation," he said aloud and then kept reading. Now he knew he had to be as knowledgeable as he could about the rules and their exceptions. Some of the deviations made him wonder what Ukitake normally did to relieve boredom.

"I did tell you that there were exceptions to the rules," Yachiru said, her voice as level as she could make it after she read the passage at which he was glaring.

"I know Ukitake has a complex mind, but why did he have to do this to me?"

"He's not doing it to you specifically," Atonomatsuri told him. "He didn't expect this would ever happen. Who would be stupid enough to take the name of Champion of the Seireitei when it was thought a new traitor had been discovered? Only an idiot, like you, would be foolish enough to volunteer."

"What bloody choice did I have?" The echo of his voice rang through the room. Immediately he wished he hadn't spoken so loudly.

"What did 'Suri say?" Yachiru seemed keen to know the answer.

"Nothing," he said and yawned loudly. His yawn stopped midway as he saw something else that didn't bode well for the results of the competition. "I don't see how I can get ready for any of these tests. They can come in any order and how can I guess what a Captain's abnormal mind might think is a good test? For all I know, Aizen already wrote out a test in case this ever happened and that will be used."

The sudden lull in the room made him look closely at his friends. He didn't like the way his 5th seat nodded in agreement. He was very perturbed to see his assistant captain shake her head vehemently. Both reactions made him wish he hadn't voiced that stray thought because if that was the case then both Ichimaru and Tosen might have followed the lead of their 'master' and also written instructions. As the 5th Division's assistant captain was not able to participate anything Aizen left might be used and it was certain to be as devious as that man's mind. Kurotsuchi shouldn't have any trouble working it out, given that his mind was so abnormal that thinking like an overly systematic planner wouldn't even be a slight stretch. But would Izuru and Shuuhei respect their previous captain's wishes? Anything from Ichimaru could say one thing and mean another entirely.

"No. It would have to be disqualified, Ken-chan. Those animals are not part of us anymore and nothing they left could be used," Yachiru ventured. "They don't count as Captains or Shinigami."

"According to the rules, it's possible," he told her. The rules were quite clear.

Grabbing the papers out of his hand she read the clause that had made him decide that any preparation was useless. "That's wrong. It has to be taken out. It was only meant to be used if a Captain died, not if a whole bunch of them decided that they wanted to rule the world." All their planning would be futile. The few rules he'd read made that clear and he didn't want to waste any more time thinking about possibilities.

"It can't be too bad Kenny." It sounded like Atonomatsuri was trying to reassure him, but he didn't believe her, either.

"I need to sleep," he said and walked to the door. "Make sure you lock up when you leave and I want this office guarded night and day. I want my private conversations to be private."

Not waiting for a response, he walked to the nearest wine merchant and purchased a large jar of sake despite the protests of the vulture. Her squawking only made him determined that he would drink enough to get him to sleep. The tea was sitting uncomfortably in his stomach and the buns seemed to have reformed into misshapen pebbles that moved sluggishly through the wash of liquid. Tea and buns! Why hadn't he objected earlier?

"It's not the food and drink that's causing problems for you, Kenny. You need exercise. Physical and mental exercise that I can provide."

"Can you wait until we're alone and won't be disturbed?" Knowing how impatient the bird could be he didn't want her to take him into his mind while he was on the street. "Let me get back to my quarters."

"Very well. But we have to do this. The training I give you today may save your life tomorrow!" the bird proclaimed.

A small snigger escaped his lips before he could suppress it.

"Stop laughing at me Zaraki. You need me."

"Need. You need me or you cease to exist. I need you, why exactly?"

"We've been over this before," sighed the bird. "You'll lose tomorrow and that will only be the beginning. I heard you talk about strategy, but you're refusing to plan a strategy to deal with these challenges you have."

That remark made his temper flare. "How can I plan? I don't know how all these people think; I barely know some of them. And the challenges can come in any order, so if I plan for one, it might never happen."

"What?"

That one word provided some comfort to Zaraki. The bird didn't know everything like she constantly pretended. Instead of snarling at her and mocking her ignorance, he decided that for once he would explain, but clearly and without using long words or difficult concepts.

"There can be 11 challenges. Each Division prepares one challenge. The details of that challenge are kept strictly within the Division, except for the independent evaluator." This stuff he remembered because it seemed like an effort had been made to keep the thing as fair as possible.

"What's the independent evaluator?"

It was a good question. "The person is selected at random from the seated Shinigami. If selected the person cannot be one of the judges. Their role is to make certain that the challenges are fair and can be achieved within the time frames."

"Kenny Boy, do you know how Loki was punished for his crimes?"

Loki? What was a Loki? And why was the bird talking about whatever it was, probably a male of some kind, now? And what crimes? Was she going to talk about some obscure book written by a long dead Russian author that concentrated on an idiot's guilt over some woman's death? If so, he didn't want to know. He didn't feel guilt over the death of anyone he killed. And why was it important she talk about it now? He had to sleep and get ready for tomorrow. And drink lots and lots of sake. In answer he shrugged.

"A snake dripped poison onto his forehead for all eternity," the bird told him with a trace of vindictiveness in her voice. "His loving wife held a bowl to collect the poison, but when she had to empty it, he felt the full effect of the punishment."

This wasn't about the story he'd been thinking about. "Who was getting punished?" It seemed like the wife had the worst part, holding the bowl over the stupid sods head. Whatever he'd done, his main crime was getting caught.

"What? Loki was getting punished for the death of Baldur," the bird elucidated.

Loki and Baldur? Two names not to give kids, obviously. Baldur? If the guy ended up in the Seireitei what would Yachiru call him? The temptation to call the guy Baldy would be too great, but what would she call Madarame? Or maybe she'd call him Boulder.

"Are you paying attention, Zaraki?"

He could hear she was getting testy with him. "Why are you talking about these people? Am I likely to meet them? Are they going to be some of the judges?"

In the following quiet he could hear the bird inhale deeply. Great, she was going to talk, probably at length. If he was home he could at least lie down and drink while she raved on about the new issue.

"They are people in Scandinavian mythology," she began with false calm.

That told him nothing. "Mythology. Fine. Got it." He'd pretend to try to show interest.

"I was using the example to indicate that I feel you are releasing information like a snake releases its venom, drop by drop. Drop by drop fills the tub." Was the bird obsessing about snakes or venom or she wanted a bath? It was hard to tell. With Atonomatsuri anything was possible.

"Snake."

"Are you randomly repeating words or listening to what I'm saying?"

"Randomly," he began and then noticed what he was saying. "Why do I have to listen? I was the one who was explaining." The bird had some attitude. She hated it when he interrupted.

"Too slowly." The high pitched shriek hurt his mind.

The comment incensed him. His explanation was much clearer than some of hers had been! And the creature had accused him of being impatient. That was one characteristic they shared.

A small smile pulled at his lips. "Patience."

"Is an operetta by Gilbert and Sullivan. Or a card game. I fail to see the significance," the bird rejoined tartly.

"About as relevant as Locust and Boulder," Zaraki sniped back. "I was saying you should have some patience, Atonomatsuri."

He had finally made it back to his quarters and as he spoke her name, the bird appeared, her feathers puffed out in anger, the clock face in one eye whirling dizzily as her gaping beak seemed to sneer at him.

"Kenny!"

"Atonomatsuri. If you want me to finish, shut up!"

The bird's breath shot out of her with shock and she stood still as she craned her head to look at him. She was definitely looking better, he noticed. Her eyes gleamed matching her feathers. Again he wondered if she had grown. Her bulk had increased but it wasn't only that.

"You're getting fat," he said, purely out of malice.

"And you remain ignorant of how to interact with females," the bird shot back. "I'm not getting fat. I'm increasing my muscle mass so my flight and fight responses are better."

Fight and flight? It should be in the context of something else, but Zaraki couldn't remember what it was. "That's what you say," he said quickly so the bird couldn't continue.

"That's what I say and what is true. When you first set me free I could hardly do either because of the confinement under which I was kept…."

Even though he didn't mean to, Zaraki groaned. "Can't you let one day pass without mentioning your bloody great suffering?"

"If you can act in a manner that doesn't indicate gross stupidity," was the smart answer.

"Yeah. Sure. I already do. Now if you want me to finish…."

"I've been anxiously awaiting your revelations. I'm sure they will be much more interesting than St John's." She gave the impression of crossing her wings and waiting impatiently. One taloned foot tapped on the floor in a jarring rhythm.

The vulture had lost him again. She kept throwing these peculiar references into her conversations with him and rather than indulge her in asking questions he was now ignoring them. One day, if he ever felt the need, he might ask. Experience had shown that the explanations didn't help. They were just unnecessary words, or another method to indicate her superiority over him. It didn't matter.

He let the flow of words out in a rush, keen to get the matter cleared up as fast as possible. "No one aside from the Division and the independent auditor know the details of the challenge," he saw the bird prepare to interrupt, but he kept on speaking. "The challenges are drawn randomly by Division number. If I only have to finish six, then planning a strategy for all of them would be a waste of time."

"Random? They don't start with the 1st Division?" Once again Atonomatsuri sounded confused.

"That would make it easy, wouldn't it? Remember who designed this."

Zaraki stared at the spirit as she closed her eyes and shook her head. Then she opened one eye and suggested, "You could do a little bit of planning."

"Yeah, when am I supposed to do that? When I'm training with you, reading the stupid rules or sleeping?"

"Oh."

"Let's get to it then." The sooner he finished with her, the quicker he could open that jar of sake.

"Get to what?"

Impatiently he drew his zanpaku-to. "What you insisted on. Training."

"Oh, that."

Of all the responses he'd expected, he didn't expect the stark disinterest that she was now showing. "You made me agree. You were almost jumping up and down about how important this was."

"Yes. Yes, I was." The distraction in her tone was indicating that she had something on her mind.

"Is it?"

"Is it what?"

In a fit of irritation he said "Orange?"

Her reply provided the proof she was paying him only minimum attention. "It could be orange. Let me think about it."

"Blast it, you blithering carcase. You make demands, I agree and then you act like this." There was no chance he was going to ignore the fact that she was ignoring him.

"I'm not acting. I'm thinking," the indignation in Atonomatsuri's voice grated on his nerves. What basis did the bird have for being annoyed with him?

"You said you wanted to get me used to using your other form. What do you want to do? Think or fight?"

"I always prefer thinking to fighting, unlike someone else I know." The pointed remark didn't worry Zaraki. It seemed silly that she would even make that statement because it served no purpose.

"You're wasting time and my hearing. You can think later."

Lifting her head higher she stared at him as if assessing him. "Time spent in thought is never wasted. It is those who act without thinking who squander their lives."

Wrinkling his brow, Zaraki tried to place the adage. Not that he was interested but it seemed unusual and he stared unseeingly at the bird. "You made that up," he accused.

She preened, satisfied. "I think it's good. I can see it now, written in a book of memorable quotes. Could you write it down for me Kenny?"

"Write it yourself. What am I? Your secretary?" He sniggered slightly as he imagined the bird trying to handle a brush and paper. She'd have to use her claws as her wings would be of no use unless she dipped them in the ink. Then she'd complain about her inky feathers and wipe them over something and he'd end up spattered with ink. It might be worth it to watch her attempts at writing.

"Certainly not. Any person I employed as a secretary would have a better fashion sense and at least have a modicum of breeding."

"Breeding or brooding," Zaraki sniped back. "That's what birds do."

"Are you accusing me of being a chicken or some petty farmyard fowl? You forget who I am," the pique in Atonomatsuri's voice made it clear she was displeased.

In spite of himself, Zaraki sighed. "No, I never forget. You won't bloody let me."

He fell silent. The time was passing too fast and too slowly at the same time. He desired for the whole damned challenge to be over, but his scant knowledge of some of his fellow captains made him feel disinclined to discover their idea of an appropriate trial. Once again his attention was absorbed by trying to work out some of the possibilities. He had to trust that they would be impartial and not rely too much on working out sums or reading tedious papers on boring matters. He felt a surge of relief as he realised that Hinamori wouldn't be involved. That female might include something like cooking or calligraphy.

"Are you listening to me, Kenny?" The bird was pecking at his feet and he hurriedly moved them, not wishing to experience the beak in the foot again.

"Orange," he blurted out.

"Are you hungry or thirsty? Why the sudden obsession with that colour?"

Shrugging he tried to pretend she'd misheard him. "I said outrage."

"No you didn't. You said orange. Is the stress getting to you, boyo?"

Squinting at Atonomatsuri didn't make her any smaller and he flinched at the new name she'd given him. "Can we fight?"

The shift was so smooth this time that it was only the difference in the light that warned him they had moved into her world. "About bloody time," he said and unsheathed his zanpakuto. "Yawn, Atonomatsuri. The words were barely out of his mouth and he was again holding the heavy blade. On this occasion he managed to bear the weight without showing any external sign of struggle.

"Let's get on with it." There was no sense of eagerness either in the demeanour or voice of Atonomatsuri, but he ignored that and they began to spar.

Instead of the usual enjoyment he felt at holding his sword in his hands and fighting, his attention kept wandering to the possibilities of the following day. Without making much attempt he broke through Atonomatsuri's guard and pulled short of cutting her. At the same time he felt the glancing contact between her beak and his thigh.

Stepping back he swung at her, but she ducked and the swing went wide almost forcing him to spin around due to the weight of the blade and the lack of expected contact.

"Not good. You're not concentrating."

"Yeah? Well neither are you," he shot back.

"No. I'm not. I'm tired and worried."

Surprised at the candour he replied, "I'm tired."

With a trace of humour, Atonomatsuri glanced at him. "But not worried."

"No."

"And when you dream of Hollows tonight?"

"I won't. I won't dream if I drink enough sake."

"Please," she said and a few minutes were spent frowning before she continued. "Please, don't. Have one or two cups, yes. But you'll need your wits, all of the lack of them. And you have to read the rules."

"You ask so prettily," was his return jibe. Couldn't she ask without making it seem like he was a drunken idiot?

"You don't care about niceties. Why should I?" Resignation coloured her words.

"Are you going to count how many cups I drink?"

"Yes."

Damn. If he was ever in the situation where he felt someone was counting his drinks he either drank more to spite whoever was dumb enough to try and control him or drank less and didn't enjoy it.

"Forget it. Drink what you want. Do what you want. It doesn't matter. You'll win or lose no matter what I say or do," they had returned to his quarters while they were talking.

"Hey, I thought you'd nag me for a good hour," he said.

She shook her head. "I've tried to help you. It obviously is too late."

Hearing her say the words made him stop and wonder. Then his anger began to build. "I'll do this on my own. Get out of my head bird. Go away and when I've won we'll talk again. Until then, don't bother me."

"I won't," she said and vanished.

After getting comfortable and lying on the bed he filled his cup with sake and quaffed it quickly as he leafed through the rules, trying to make sense of them. For some reason the drink didn't taste as pleasant as normal, nor did it soothe him like it normally did. Nor did the second cup.

"What's the point of a third cup?" he thought. "If I'm not enjoying it, there seems no reason."

The water he drank didn't make reading the rules any easier and every so often he found he'd nearly fallen asleep as his head jerked forward. Eventually he reached the last page. Whether he would remember them all seemed doubtful. He would carry them with him throughout the coming days, but he'd probably need to read them each night.

Closing his eyes to think about some of the more tangled reasoning he found the knocking at the door was interrupting his thoughts. Removing the pages from his face he noticed the sun was casting shadows on the floor. He must have slept and too soon it was morning.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

Three years! I'm not talking about it.

There is an overabundance of literary allusions in this chapter. Blame the bird. I'm uncertain if anyone is interested in them, so for now, until I hear otherwise, I won't ascribe them. If you do want this information, let me know and I will try to include the sources in the future, if I remember what they are.

In case you are going to ask, no, there will be no complete copy of the rules included in this story in the immediate future. It wouldn't be fair. Maybe later, once the whole challenge is over.

The challenge will commence in the next chapter. I promise, hand on heart (and fingers crossed behind my back).

Thank you to Evilhumour Author (Me? Evil? Drat. I thought I hid it well.); Ancestor's Dragon; star's dream (sorry about the interrupted sleep); chaos bardock (um, thanks); Kiarem (love the translation); Condor green (I had to cut the bird off. Otherwise I'd never get her to shut up!); Afrieal (I have to admit I stole some of it from Weird Al Yankovic); darthgamer (How did you know I was playing Halo Wars?); Tsuki no Kagemaru (some great suggestions, but I'm not saying anything. And especial thanks for the heads up about the doubling up on the flowers. It was corrected); X-elemental (I've been told recently that my obvious is not everyone else's); Mizu1411 (long time no hear!); HellMinion88 (a pub crawl sounds like a great idea, but my family won't let me); ironjaw (Thanks); The Absurdist (It was the vodka mixed with the raspberry schnapps that caused the problems); SithKnight-Galen (You are so right about the flowers); Ghost140 (I hope you had a good sleep); Grimjaww (BTW Grimmjow will not be appearing in this story.) And Joakim: Hi!

Please review.

MS


	44. Funny Looks

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). _

**Funny Looks**

"We're late!" Yachiru said tensely as they drew close to First Division.

"I had to do my hair," Zaraki explained crossly again. "Hell, if I'm going in for a fight I want to look right."

Ayasewaga spoke through tight lips. "I did offer my help."

"Not going to happen," Zaraki shivered a little. He hated the thought of other people mucking around with his hair. Attaching the bells took time and others didn't know how to secure them properly. "I know how I like it and other people make mistakes."

Yachiru flashed a sudden smile at him. "One day you'll let me help."

"You can think so," he said not wishing to get into an argument. "What's that noise?"

As they drew closer they could hear the loud babble of conversation which indicated that a sizeable crowd was gathered. "Do I have to have an audience?"

"It's not just you, Ken-chan. People are interested in what's happening. The last time anything this exciting happened was when Captain Frosty fought the Crimson Kamikaze but no one knew it was going to happen," Yachiru explained. She looked at Ayasewaga assessingly and remarked, "Can I sit on your shoulder to watch if the crowd's too large?"

The look on the man's face was beautiful to behold. He seemed torn between quickly changing the subject and denying the request. Then common sense overcame him and he nodded unhappily. "Yes, Assistant Captain," and then he seemed to have an idea, "but wouldn't it be better to stay with the Captain."

Her agreement was drowned out by the noise of the crowd. They had arrived at the end of a street and couldn't move forward. Zaraki cleared his throat meaningfully and those nearest him heard and made way. It seemed that news of his arrival spread as a path opened up before him and Zaraki took advantage of it. Hearing murmurs he smiled widely at the interested faces and was pleased to see people backing away further. One or two brave Shinigami reached out to clap him on the shoulder, but as soon as he turned to gaze at them, his smile widening considerably, their faces would pale and the hand would remain, stuck in mid-air.

The Old Man was waiting outside, leaning on his stick. While his expression was impassive it was obvious he was not pleased to be kept waiting. "Captain Zaraki, you are late. As Captain Kurotsuchi was on time he invoked the clause about the challenge starting, irrespective of whether both participants were present. The three judges agreed and he in already working on a solution."

What could he do about it? Shrugging Zaraki smiled widely and stared down at the Captain-General. "What's the job?"

"Follow me," and with that he turned and walked quickly through the path that quickly cleared before him. Zaraki followed only to be startled by the number of people that managed to fit within the office. All the Captains were there as well as the assistant captains and seated officers who were ambulatory. But that was only the beginning.

"The next challenge will need to take place in 1st Division's training ground," the Old Man mumbled, as if to himself. "Never before have I felt claustrophobic in my own office."

Motioning for Zaraki to follow, he made his way to the middle of the room where Kurotsuchi was already standing, his gaze intent on what he was doing. He seemed totally focused and sightly strained as he moved a stick over some shiny metal loops that hung on a wooden frame. Even as they watched they heard a loud beeping noise and an exclamation from the crowd. Although he didn't speak, it was evident from the movement of his lips that the 12th Division Captain was swearing silently as he carelessly dragged the stick with the loop on the end back to one end of the contraption.

"Okay. What gives?" Zaraki asked his superior officer. This couldn't be the challenge, or if it was, what was he meant to do?

"Read this," the Captain-General said as he handed Zaraki a sheet of paper.

With a measure of doubt that he'd like what he'd read, he took the paper and glanced at the heading: "GOOD LUCK. You'll need it!"

That didn't inspire any confidence but indicated that someone had a sadistic sense of humour. Continuing to read he found that the challenge was limited to one hour and the object was to move the small round loop from one end of the metal maze to the other without touching it. In order to make it noticeable, if the two metal pieces came in contact a loud buzzing noise would sound which would mean all the progress was void and the maze would need to be threaded once more. The first one to complete the challenge was the winner. If neither of them completed the challenge, then the one who was nearest the end would win. In the event of a tie they would be given 10 minutes more.

As he finished reading the sheet he wondered who had thought this one up and how he or she had these things available so fast. Not that it mattered, but perhaps there was some poor sod who liked these sorts of torturous devices.

"You are 10 minutes late so you only have 50 minutes left," the Captain-General's assistant captain was at his elbow. "You might want to start now."

He didn't want to start. This wasn't a real challenge, not the way he'd seen it, but what choice did he have? If he didn't try, then Kurotsuchi would win and that was unthinkable.

Standing in front of his metal maze, he compared the two. They were similar, but not the same. Each looked convoluted and twisty but the complexity was very close. If they hadn't been then he was positive, that if permitted, Kurotsuchi would have chosen the easier one because he was there on time. For that, Zaraki couldn't fault him because he would have done the same.

"What happens if the buzzing thing goes off and I don't go back to the beginning?" It seemed a fair question.

"Then you are disqualified."

"Figures."

Picking up the stick he touched the two pieces of metal together deliberately. It took little pressure for the buzzer to be activated, but now he had an idea of the permissible margin for error. Another buzzer rang out and he turned to see Kurotsuchi glaring at him.

"Stop fooling around, you fool," the man all but spat at him.

He smiled widely at his competitor. "It makes us even."

The glare he received in return for his comment only confirmed that the man had hoped to have an advantage over him and possibly still did as he had a better knowledge of his maze, but that didn't matter.

Trying to block out all external distractions, he picked up the stick and slowly, torturously began to move the metal loop over the pipe. If he concentrated hard enough and managed to keep his hand steady he was certain that he would be able to complete this task quickly. As long as no one interrupted or tried to distract him everything should be fin….

"Are you enjoying this?"

The sudden interruption made his hand jerk and set off the buzzer. He'd progressed a quarter of the way and was not pleased about having to start again but he hadn't been confident that he'd manage to finish on his first attempt. All the same, the bird could have kept quiet, just for once.

"Shut up, Tweety," he said through mental clenched teeth. "Go and distract someone else."

"I can't. You know I can't and this looks like fun. Can I help?" Atonomatsuri sounded eager and that did not assure Zaraki that she was going to cooperate.

"Yes. By keeping that yapper shut," he replied as he dragged the loop back.

"Now, Kenny boy, that's not very nice," she nagged. Of course she was peeved, once more.

"I thought you already knew I'm not nice." Was she going to shut up anytime soon?

The silence only lasted seconds before she started again. "I wish I could change places with you."

"I can see that you'd be great at it," the sarcasm dripped from his words. The mental image of the bird attempting to complete this task almost made him smile. Almost.

Starting again he tried to employ the mental block that kept her voice from intruding. He had to concentrate fully on this or Kurotsuchi would win. He didn't want to lose anything more to that piece of refuse.

"Watch out," the bird warned loudly, causing him to swear loudly as his hand jerked involuntarily, jarring the metal pieces together. "If you'd listened to me that wouldn't have happened."

His teeth were clenched so tightly together he could hear them grinding on each other and his jaw seemed to be set in concrete. "If you hadn't squealed in my ear it wouldn't have happened. Let's get this straight. No one can help me with this bloody thing. Leave me to it."

"Fine. Be like that then," Atonomatsuri said, the hurt obvious in her voice.

He considered grunting in reply but he was concentrating and didn't think it was necessary. Focused as he was on the task he barely noticed the commotion but saw some sort of altercation occurring out of the corner of his eye. Deciding to ignore it he stared at the metal and tried to find that Zen consciousness that he'd heard people rave about. It was supposed to be in his centre wherever that was. Trying to work out where that could be drew his attention from what he was doing just enough so that his hand slipped and again he heard the loud buzz that warned he'd need to start again.

This new failure made annoyed him. He'd tried to do something that people seemed certain would assist in any task and he couldn't even begin because he didn't even know where his effing centre was. It mightn't be the brightest thing to try something new in the middles of a challenge, but he had to use every advantage he could as the Clown Captain had started before him.

Releasing the stick he wiped the palm of his hand against his coat. For some inexplicable reason he was sweating. He could feel the water dribbling onto his chin and he rubbed his face and then his hands again.

"Yachiru, hold this for me," he called as he pulled off his coat. The heat was making it difficult to concentrate and the perspiration might make his hand slip. As an after thought he took off his shirt, rubbed his chest, face, hands and back on it before handing it over to Yachiru.

"Captain Zaraki. I'm not certain that you should do that."

The female voice attracted his attention to the five people who were observing the event from in front. One was the Captain-General. The others were Assistant Captain Nanao Ise, Captain Komamura Sajin, Assistant Captain Izuru Kira and Assistant Captain Choujirou Sasakibe. It was easy to guess that Assistant Captain Ise was the one who's spoken.

"What's the problem?" he asked simply. "Any why are you telling me anything?"

"As the independent assessor," she began.

"So you scored that job, did you? Why should what I wear have any anything to do with it?" He didn't want to put his shirt back on; the sweat had cooled slightly and he was feeling more able to concentrate without the cloth rubbing against him.

"I don't think it's appropriate," she finished her face flushing.

"I've kept my hakama on. You don't have to look if you don't want," he said dismissing her complaint.

"This is a formal contest and you should be arrayed in proper clothing," she said tightly, her face averted. Her cheeks were still red.

"Oh, don't make him put his shirt back on," Assistant Captain Matsumoto Rangiku yelled. "It's nice to see a few muscles."

"Matsumoto, keep your opinion to yourself. Have you been drinking?" her Captain reprimanded her sternly and she bowed her head, reproved.

Zaraki decided to try to play fair. "There's nothing in the rules about clothing."

Captain Ukitake intervened. "There isn't. Maybe after this competition is over we can revisit the rules. For now we can let it pass."

"I don't think it is right," Ise muttered.

Sasakibe's voice brought them back to the point. "Time is passing and we cannot extend the deadline."

Ignoring further comments Zaraki picked up his stick only to be distracted once more when Kurotsuchi's maze fell over with a loud clatter. He'd only commenced but the noise made him react and the loud buzzing meant he had to return to the beginning. Wondering why there was yet another interruption at his opponents' maze he watched for a moment. Kurotsuchi was yelling angrily.

"It's not stable. How can I be expected to work on such an unstable surface? I am a man of science, not a person who indulges in idle pursuits like this," his voice rose with each word.

For some reason Zaraki's attention was drawn to Yachiru who was watching the man intently. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then a small malicious smile crossed her features and she picked up the pages with the rules which she scanned quickly. Her eyes flickered quickly between the man and the words as she nodded. Instantly he wanted to ask her what had happened but a loud voice announced:

"Thirty minutes remain," and the moment was lost.

Picking up the device once more, he concentrated wholly on threading through the blasted maze. A few random thoughts about losing tried to intrude, but he blocked them out relentlessly. If he started thinking like that the bird would chime in with some stupid observation and he'd only get irritated.

As he began to gain confidence he moved more swiftly through the twists and turns he had previously negotiated. If nothing distracted him, if he didn't sweat too much he could finish this and then beat up Kurotsuchi. It was his damned fault he was here. The lapse in concentration that occurred as a result of thinking about the captain of the 12th Division had the inevitable result. His hand slipped and he was once again notified, loudly that he would have to start again.

Again he wiped his face hands and chest on his discarded shirt while ignoring the stupid comments directed at him. Once this was over he'd have his reckoning with Ise and her captain.

Addressing the problem of the maze he decided that he wouldn't permit anything to break his attention. There wasn't much time remaining and a quick glance confirmed that his rival was almost finished. For a second he thought that he'd witnessed the want touch the wire but as there was no accompanying buzz, he must be wrong.

His absorption in the task paid off. Being over half way and in a state of mind that permitted little else to intrude the sudden urgent sound of his assistant captain's voice almost made his hand slip. Grimly he steadied it before he tried to continue. It was not easy as the distraction increased and soon the yelling and arguing became too intrusive to permit the necessary concentration.

"You may stop now, Captain Zaraki," Sasakibe told him with a mixture of respect and patience. "A serious allegation has been made which requires investigation."

Happily he dropped the wand and the assistant captain stopped the buzzing by reaching behind the frame and pushing a switch. Rotating his shoulders and stretching his neck, Zaraki turned to look at the commotion. Kurotsuchi was surrounded by the rest of the judges who were all looking shocked and displeased while both Yachiru and Akon exchanged heated words.

"He cheated," Yachiru said flatly as if she was repeating words she's used many times before.

"It was an accident," averred Akon.

'He accidentally pushed over the maze and accidentally, during the scuffle that followed, turned off the power so it wouldn't buzz and then accidentally finished the thing quickly because he didn't need to worry about the noise? And then he accidentally turned the power on again? I know because I was watching. The judges were too busy to notice because they were picking up the maze and, then looking at the time. The should have been watching." Yachiru's voice rose dramatically as she related the events. "How many accidents can happen?"

"This is a serious allegation, Assistant Captain. I have told you before; there is no proof in what you state. You appear the only person who witnessed these events and as you have a personal interest in the matter we cannot accept only your word." Sajin sounded firm but apologetic.

His attention now completely engaged, Zaraki wondered if Yachiru had seen anything. Knowing her, as he did, he believed that she thought she was telling the truth, but it might be that her imagination had constructed a truth to assist him in winning.

"I don't lie," Yachiru said, "at least not about important things like this. Ken-chan, you believe me, don't you?" She looked at him pleadingly.

Nodding he indicated that while he had some reservations, he knew she didn't lie about things she judged important, most of the time.

"We only have your testament to this," Ise said, her expression severe. "Captain Kurotsuchi completed the maze first and should thus be declared the winner. And I was watching."

"No you weren't. You were staring at Ken-chan," Yachiru averred.

"I saw Captain Kutosuchi cheat," a hesitant voice admitted. "He did touch the metal on many occasions and I noticed his hand near the switch after he finished."

All the heads of the judges turned to face the new claimant. The assistant captain from 4th Division was biting her lip and trying to look brave.

"You can't trust her," screeched Kurotsuchi who had remained strangely silent until now. "Her captain is friendly with Zaraki and she'd go to any lengths to support him."

"Are you calling my sister a liar, you old windbag?" The other Koutestu, Kiyone immediately planted herself in front of the 12th Division captain. "Isane doesn't lie. It's one of her biggest problems."

"I saw him cheat too," another, older Shinigami said and all fell silent. No one dared interrupt the Captain-General and he continued. "As this competition was proceeding and I did not wish to disrupt what was occurring I remained silent. The man cheated, deliberately. Ukitake, what do the rules say about that?" Yamamoto leant on his stick as he bent forward with apparent interest.

"Sir, you should have said something earlier," Ise said with a mixture of deference and frustration.

"You do not tell me what to do, young woman. As I have an interest in how the outcome of these challenges, I didn't want to interfere." The harsh tone included an unmistakable reprimand and Ise flushed hotly at the words.

"Sir, if anyone is caught cheating, they are disqualified and the other contestant is declared the winner," Ukitake said quickly as he glanced at a book he was carrying.

"The go ahead, do it." Yamamoto raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't cheat," Kurotsuchi yelled and then became quiet as the Captain-General turned his gaze onto him.

"Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi. You are disqualified from the first of these challenges due to cheating. As a result Captain Kenpachi Zaraki is declared the winner," Sajin declared loudly. "That concludes the challenge for today. Tomorrows challenge will take place in 1st Division's training ground. You should all now leave."

The crowd which had remained mostly silent, except for a flurry of whispers began to leave and the noise level rose as people excitedly discussed the events.

"You won Ken-chan," Yachiru bounced happily in front of him.

"No, I didn't win," he said, unsatisfied at the outcome. "I don't count a disqualification as a win."

"Nor should you, Kenny. Cheaters never prosper. Quitters never win," Atonomatsuri sounded censorious.

"I didn't bloody quit." The bird was going too far, once more.

"I didn't say you did. I'm reminding you of a valuable lesson."

Yachiru looked rueful at his reply. "I think you won. You were doing much better than the Clown Captain. He kept glancing across to watch you and then he had to start again." As if struck by an idea she laughed. "You should have seen his face when you took your shirt off. Under the makeup he went a funny colour, at least I think so. It's hard to tell."

Grateful for the reminder he donned his shirt and coat as Yamamoto neared. "I would advise you to remain properly attired in future. Congratulations on you success."

"I'll dress how I see fit," Zaraki said, not wishing to concede anything. "And I didn't win. Kurotsuchi lost. There's a difference."

Yamamoto stared at him, amazement etched in his features. "Captain Zaraki, remember who you are."

No one let him forget who he was. He prepared to grunt and then reconsidered. "Sir, if the clothing restricts me I'll remove it. Or," he grinned savagely, "we can do without the audience."

Yamamoto shook his head. "There is too much interest in this. I imagine some profits could be made if we decided to sell tickets."

"We could go into merchandising," Atonomatsuri said excitedly.

Schooling his features into an impassive expression he ignored her comment. He was doing this because he'd agreed to, not to make money.

"We need some money to replace the building destroyed during the time the Ryoka were here," Yamamoto said thoughtfully.

"Do what you please," Zaraki growled. "Just don't get me involved."

The cool look he received didn't worry him, but the words that accompanied it, did. "To be seen as being fair you are now confined to 1st Division for the duration of the rest of these challenges."

"What the hell are you saying old man? I'm not the criminal," Zaraki was not pleased to hear this suggestion. "Why do I have to be locked up in an effing cell?"

"For your own protection," Yamamoto said. "There is the possibility that someone might attempt to prevent your participation."

The idea was preposterous. Who could harm him? "I say no."

"You haven't been offered a choice. It will also mean that you arrive on time. I don't wish for you to be banned from any future events due to your delayed entrance." The intense gaze of his superior made Zaraki feel uncomfortable.

"It won't happen again," he began.

"No, it won't. You will be lodged comfortably in a room, and permitted the occasional visitor until this is finalised and one of you emerges as the victor. It also means you will be fed the same food and provided the same amenities," Yamamoto continued, paying no attention to Zaraki's words.

"I said no."

"You don't have a choice. If we must we will use violence and I have made certain that Captain Unohana is prepared to sedate you, if you decide to be uncooperative," Yamamoto was obviously asserting his authority.

Hating the situation he pulled out what he thought was his trump card. "I won't try to win."

A small chuckle preceded the reply. "You will because it's not in your nature to lose. You have a grudge against the Captain of the 12th Division, for whatever reason, and now you have the opportunity to embarrass him. I don't think you will let this opportunity pass."

The man was correct. "I want sake!"

"In moderation any request will be granted, but know this, Captain. You will be expected to perform to the best of your abilities. During your stay, there will be no drunkenness or drinking competitions. Fighting will be only permitted if it is called for in the competition."

The man was hemming him in and he didn't like it.

"You better do as he says, Kenny boy. I think he's serious," Atonomatsuri said.

"Can I stay with Ken-chan?" Yachiru was holding his hand tightly and looked up, hope shining on her face.

"I can't allow that. You will be permitted to visit, but you must take over running the Division in his absence," Yamamoto unbent a little, but his tone and posture reminded them that he was the authority here. "Ayasewaga will help you as will Madarame when he is healed."

"No choice. Fine. Great. I want sake to celebrate my victory," Zaraki sounded as sour as he felt.

"It will be provided as well as a nutritious meal. Sleep well, Captain. A complete set of the rules is available in your room. You would be well advised to read them, carefully," Yamamoto said and then motioned to the burly Shinigami who were standing near by. "These people will take you to your room. Be prepared for tomorrow."

"Don't even try to touch me," Zaraki barked at the men who were moving close, "unless you want something severed. I'll come, but only because I choose to."

As he began to walk toward the place in which he would be confined, Atonomatsuri spoke. "Very wise, Kenny. We can talk once we get to the room."

That just made his hour. First being confined, and now a prolonged discussion with Atonomatsuri. He hoped the sake would arrive soon.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

If you noticed I didn't tell you who made up the first challenge; that was deliberate. There has been much time spent trying to devise each trial but now most of them are set, unless Atonomatsuri forces me to change my mind. Or Zaraki.

Thank you to Condor green (I've been trying to finish this and then I have another idea. Oh, well); OBERVOR01; HellMinion88; Afrieal; iron elsar; Ancestor's Dragon; star's dream; ironjaw; OG (um yeah. Typo.); GreenonBlack; enterprise (Shakespearse. The Romeo and Juliet quote. Hmmm); Ryachi (interesting suggestion); SithKnight-Galen (no one can stand against the might of the bird!!! lol); abhishek20; and Alliriyan for the reviews.

Please review.

MS


	45. Writing on Sand

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). _

**Writing on Sand**

The door had barely closed when Atonomatsuri began to talk. The noise she made almost drowned out the slight click as the lock snicked into place. He had no concern that the lock would prevent him from leaving if he felt like it. If necessary he could break a wall, or destroy the door. He'd only agreed to being locked up so he didn't have to listen to another lecture about 'duty' or 'proper Shinigami behaviour'.

Maybe this break would be good. He wouldn't be expected to do any paperwork or make decisions about the day to day things that went on in his division. He could sleep and prepare for the challenge.

"Are you listening to me, Kenny?"

"What do you think?"

The bird sighed gustily and her irritation was noticeable. "I won't get angry," she informed him, rage shaping her words.

"Because you already are…" He had originally framed it as a question, but it was obviously a statement. She was already angry so she wouldn't get angry. The main possibility was that she would become increasingly angry and he'd react by getting annoyed. This was going to be a great evening!

"Tchah!" The angry exclamation only proved his point. Mentally he shrugged. They'd been down this path before and he didn't feel like humouring her again.

"Then I have only this to say, Kenny. Read the rule book. Read it carefully because if Kurotsuchi can find any loophole, he will use it. Make certain you don't give him cause." With a final audible snap of her beak, Atonomatsuri became quiet.

Read the damn rule book again? Couldn't he get a recording and listen to it while he slept so he didn't have to listen to it while he was conscious? If only it was possible, but it wasn't. He'd have to read the damn thing himself and try to make sense of the convoluted logic.

A meal with a very small bottle of sake was delivered shortly after he began reading. The food was fine, lots of rice, meat and vegetables with some wasabe and pickles. The sake was smooth, but there wasn't enough. After eating he banged on the door.

"More sake or I'll break out and get my own," he told the guard and then smiled in an intimidating manner.

"I was advised not to respond to threats," the man said nervously.

Zaraki laughed. The man didn't understand. "I don't make threats. I give warnings."

"You mean…" the guard paled significantly as Zaraki continued to laugh. "You are the Kenpachi…" he added. "Sir, I will obtain more sake but you will have to answer to the Commander-General."

"Consider it done," he replied as he closed the door. Glumly he poured some tea while he waited for his drink. Reading the rules for this 'competition' was dry work and he'd felt robbed on the previous night because he'd been pushed into rational thought by the bird. It hadn't mattered that he'd got to sleep early and relatively sober; he'd still arrived late and as a result been put into this comfortable cell. There was no disguising that he was held against his will for the duration.

Recalling some of the discussion he'd had with Yachiru and Ayasewaga there was one thing he wanted to check. If he managed to win a certain number of the challenges in a row then it would be over. He scanned the pages speedily, only interrupted by the arrival of a medium size bottle of sake which was placed on his table without any words or explanation. Rather than drinking fast, he poured and savoured the drink while he searched through the pages. Then he found it. Six. If he won six in a row then the whole damned mess would be finalised and he could go home. Even Kurotsuchi would have to accept that if Zaraki won six challenges in a row it would not be possible for the 12th Division Captain to win overall. At most he could only win five.

A sudden thought made Zaraki flinch. Today the challenge had ended in a disqualification and that might not be counted as a win. He tried searching for that information and thought he'd found it but then read the additional part that had seemed too long and boring on the previous night. There were conditions that existed providing for a disqualification to be considered a draw. Reading through the information he wondered if this was the loophole the bird was hinting at.

All the Captains and Assistant Captains could be asked to vote on whether the disqualification was valid if one of the challengers do requested. A sudden rush of fury made him certain that this would happen.

Rather than read any further he gulped the contents of the bottle and went to bed. In trying to make the rules fair, the complications that arose became more intricate and intolerable.

* * *

"Five more of these," he thought the next day as he walked into the training ground. This time the crowd had left one area clear for the contestants to walk through and as he walked a few people yelled encouragement. The smile he wore was grim and fixed. Without really thinking about it, his eyes searched the crowd looking for Yachiru, knowing that her attendance would provide him with at least a measure of reassurance, not that he required it. He was used to seeing the girl nearly everyday and yesterday he hadn't had much chance to talk to her.

He'd been woken in plenty of time to bathe, eat and prepare for the challenge. Without any comment large jugs of water appeared with his breakfast as did two large pots of tea. If someone was trying to make a comment about his drinking it didn't bother him. Remembering how overheated he'd become the day before he drank enough to last him a few hours.

Now the blue sky overhead irritated him. So did the noise and the fact he was there. Originally he'd believed that these challenges might provide some physical exercise that would force him to become stronger but judging by the first one, it wasn't likely. Each captain and division had a different focus. Few of them admitted to enjoying a good fight and he'd noticed that most of them seemed to avoid it when possible.

He didn't understand. If the Seireitei was created to fight Hollows, why weren't the Captains interested in fighting? Did they think wearing a white coat made them special or something? If anything it made them a target for Hollows, but little else. The coat didn't mean anything. The only significance was the person wearing it was meant to be powerful and good at fighting. He saw precious little that supported that idea.

That was the main thing that was irritating him. As the days passed since the departure of the ryoka he's been noticing it more and not because of the festering vulture. What was with most of the Captains sending their adjuncts to do most of the fighting while they watched? How did they expect to remain at the top of their game if they didn't take care of the skills they had worked so hard to obtain?

A laugh and familiar voice drew his attention away from his thoughts. "Ken-chan! Ken-chan. Over here! Baldy managed to get out of bed!"

Ignoring everyone else he walked over to Yachiru who was sitting on Madarame's shoulder. Was the man well enough to carry the girl? It made him rather annoyed that she'd so quickly replaced him.

"Captain. She insisted!" His third seat assured him. "She asked Captain Unohana if I was well enough and kept asking until the Captain agreed."

"I don't like his shoulder as much as yours, Ken-chan. His lumps are in the wrong place and he wriggles too much when I bounce up and down."

Ayasegawa quickly added, "I did offer, Captain, but she insisted that Ikkaku was taller."

That comment made him crease his brow. He'd never really considered the matter and had always assumed they were pretty much the same height, that is, smaller than him. Most people were and that was all he needed to know.

"Yachiru, get off his shoulder and come with me," he said firmly. "I want my assistant captain close by to advise me. Madarame looks like he might fall over if you bounce on his shoulder one more time."

He didn't miss the grateful look the man shot him as Yachiru quickly followed his instructions. She took her accustomed position on his back and he walked the remaining distance to the centre of the field. All the Captains were standing there, many with their assistant captains. A large covered table was there and Zaraki wondered at its purpose. The table seemed unnecessarily high, but that didn't seem very important. The cloth was not lying flat and he could discern a number of different shaped lumps underneath. He had a shrewd idea that they might have something to do with the challenge he now had to address.

"Don't tell me that Yachiru can't be here," he told Nanao as he noticed the woman step in front of him with a trace of a conceit.

She thinned her lips and then replied, "I wasn't even thinking about it. After all, she is one the judges for today's event."

His assistant captain slid down his back and looked at the woman. "I thought you would have told me earlier."

"You're a substitution. Apparently the 2nd Division's Assistant Captain has come down with a bout of food poisoning, or so I understand. I would have alerted you earlier, but the information has only now been relayed to me. You do understand, Assistant Captain Kusajishi that you have to remain impartial and not automatically choose your superior officer."

Zaraki smiled as he watched Yachiru's reaction. The 8th Division Officer was over estimating her authority once more.

Standing very straight and adopting her most belligerent attitude Yachiru answered with perfect dignity. "Ken-chan will win because he's better at everything. I'll be fair because it wouldn't be fair to Ken-chan if I wasn't. And the Clown Captain will probably cheat again, if he has the chance."

"Teach the child manners, Zaraki, or once I win and am exonerated of all charges she might be admiring the walls of my research department while I examine her."

Swinging around rapidly, Zaraki reached for the blade that wasn't there. "She's showing you the respect you deserve. None."

'Captains, cease this bickering and pay attention," Yamamoto's voice prevented Kurotsuchi from replying and with a sense of relief at not having to talk to the man further, Zaraki nodded.

"As you were not here in time yesterday, you won't know that the challenge is announced by one of the judges so the observers will understand what is happening. Assistant Captain Kusajishi, here are your instruction," Nanao said as she handed an envelope to Yachiru. Opening it, Yachiru made a face as she read the pages but she nodded reluctantly and left to stand with the other judges.

"Depending on how quickly you complete the following tasks we may be able to complete two of the challenges today," Nanao explained.

That news provided some relief. He didn't want to be cooped up for five nights with only small sake rations. The sooner the challenges were over the quicker he wouldn't be observed day and night. He could sleep in his own bed and argue with the annoying bird, or whomever else he felt like fighting.

"One of the scheduled tasks will take place tonight and carry over into the following day," was the continuing explanation. "I hope you slept well last night."

That meant something, the comment about sleeping well. Hearing the words made it seem highly likely that he wouldn't enjoy what was going to happen, but he didn't have any choice. If he protested, he would be deemed to have forfeited the challenge and that wasn't part of his plan. He'd read that particular rule the previous evening and now the real import of that was made clear. No matter how unpleasant or demeaning he found the situation, he had to try.

Nanao smiled coldly as if anticipating the events of the evening and then said, "Captain Fon will explain the challenge for today."

He focused his attention on the 2nd Division Captain and waited for her to speak. With eyes that glittered with either amusement or humiliation the woman moved directly in front of them and waited for quiet. An expectant hush settled over the assembled Shinigami as they ceased their eager conversations.

"Today's challenge will display your understanding of your fellow officers," the Captain said clearly. You will be shown 11 objects that belong to 11 Captains or Assistant Captains. If there is not incumbent captain, the Assistant Captain's item will substitute. Both of you are excluded for obvious reasons. The challenge is you are to make an educated guess which object belongs to each Captain. You would be advised to be careful as they may not be as obvious as you think. No questions are permitted and it will be necessary for you to write down which item belongs to which Captain, or Assistant Captain.

This was almost as bad as the previous challenge. He knew immediately that simple items, like the scarf worn by Kuchiki would not be included, nor would the helmet that Komamura had previously worn. The desire to swear loudly and demand which devious jerk had devised this challenge was hard to fight, but he noticed Yachiru shaking her head at him, possibly guessing his reaction and he subsided. Ranting wouldn't help.

"Is there a time limit?" Kurotsuchi seemed to be prepared to do this. He couldn't do any less.

"Yes. You will be permitted two hours but you may not handle the objects or use any analytical devices other than your eyes. That was why your eyes were modified yesterday, Captain Kurotsuchi, so you would not have an unfair advantage."

The announcement made the man furl his lip in contempt and he seemed on the point of arguing, but finally he sighed and nodded.

"The judges for this event will be Captain Soi Fon, Assistant Captain Yachiru Kusajishi and Third Seat Sentaro Kotsubaki."

"2nd, 11th and 13th Divisions," Zaraki thought and then considered the matter. "I wonder if this is the challenge from the 13th? It doesn't sound like something 2nd Division would think up."

"I would remind the competitors that there is only a slim possibility that the Division from which the challenge originated will be on the panel of judges." Nanao said as she consulted the paper she was holding.

Gritting his teeth, Zaraki recalled reading that rule. The damned rules all seemed to have a loophole or exception that made other rules void.

"Please take the writing implements that are being handed to you on which you will record the results of your deliberations. The observers must remain silent. Any person speaking loudly will be ejected immediately," Nanao finished with, "The items will now be uncovered. Remember, you may look, but not touch."

Four Shinigami removed the cloths and Zaraki's first glance only reinforced the bad feeling he had about this challenge. The collection of objects taken together was a mess, but trying to single out which item belonged to which person would not be easy. He walked up to the table and stood, staring at the things.

"Kenny, write everything down. You'll have to anyway." Atonomatsuri sounded interested.

"Yeah, yeah, maybe," he said. "How would you describe that?' He was looking at some object he that made no sense. It was a cup that had a hole in the bottom and it seemed it had been made that way. "What's the point of a cup with a hole in the bottom?"

The chuckle that the bird uttered made him brindle. She knew about cups that had holes in them? It figured.

"It's a Pythagoras cup. It will hold liquid as long as it is below a certain level. As soon as it rises about that point, the construction of the cup will make all the liquid drain away.

"I'll write down 'cup'," Zaraki said. He was seeing a side of his fellow captains that intrigued and irritated him. "Who do you think it belongs to?

"Write the list first!" The sharpness of the reply reminded him that she was feeling slighted, again.

"Yes, feather features. I see a coin. I'll write down coin."

"It's not just a coin. It's one of the rarest coins to ever be minted." The bird seemed prepared to continue but Zaraki didn't care.

"It's still a coin, right?"

"Yes, but it is precious and rare. Only someone who had great wealth at their disposal could afford that," Atonomatsuri proclaimed with excitement.

"It might be a copy," Zaraki pointed out, not interested.

"Humph," the bird replied and he wondered if she was preening her feathers as she often did when she was annoyed.

Two items were now on his list. "A fan," he said dismissively. "That will be easy. It has to belong to a female."

"Why?"

"Because females carry fans, of course. It makes sense." Why couldn't the bird see what was obvious?

"Men carry fans too."

"That's a load of crap," he began but then remembered seeing a number of men from other divisions use fans during the heat of summer. "You might be right," he added grudgingly.

"Not a very expensive fan with a picture of a dragon." The bird was noticing things he wasn't in the mood to see.

"A dragon? Probably belongs to Soi Fon," Zaraki joked.

The silence that met his comment informed him that the bird didn't appreciate his attempt at humour. "A scroll with writing on it. That's helpful. Can't recognise the writing."

"The calligraphy is very fine and from the age of the paper, I believe it to be the work of a master calligrapher," Atonomatsuri sounded awed.

Why people prized hard to read writing that probably declaimed some stale adage escaped him. He didn't even try to decipher the meaning.

"Do you know what it says?" Now there was no disguising the admiration in the bird's voice.

Remaining silent, he hoped he would not be told. He knew that the hope was futile.

"Who offends writes on sand; who is offended, on marble." The words were uttered in a hushed voice. "That fits us, doesn't it Zaraki?"

He crinkled his forehead and tried to work out what she meant. "Do you mean you've lost your marbles?" This conversation about writing reminded him of paperwork and he had enough problems without that being added to the mix. And who wrote on sand, anyway?

"Why do you make it so difficult to communicate with you Zaraki?"

"Why do you take everything so personally? It's not always about you." Zaraki shot back. Having said the words, he knew they were true, but maybe now was not the best time to fight the bird. "Can we get on with this?" he added. "We've got a cup, a fan, a coin, a scroll. What next?"

The silence that greeted his question indicated that he might have gone too far this time. As he watched, Kurotsuchi looked closely at an item, nodded with satisfaction and wrote busily on his paper. Then he turned, gaze Zaraki a measuring look, sniffed and turned back to his examination.

"You want to let that guy win?" He didn't want to get caught up in a needless apology to the bird so he tried appealing to her known hatred for the 12th Division Captain. The only thing that might make this fail was if the creature decided she hated Zaraki more.

"No. I don't want him to win, but you don't deserve my help. If you don't treat me with respect I'll withdraw my assistance." The words were premonitory and he knew she meant it.

"Let's get on with this list, like you wanted," Zaraki offered the most he was prepared to concede. "There's a plant."

"It's a bonsai. Not very old, but rather well formed and it is easy to see the intention of the gardener." Atonomatsuri said, still distant in tone and manner.

"Bonsai. Is that anything like bankai?"

"Another attempt at humour, Zaraki? If so, it is poor."

"I'll write down bonsai, then." Zaraki decided not to press the matter. He'd thought it was funny, sort of, but the bird didn't want to show any sign of enjoying herself. Briefly he wondered if she was affected by hormones like all females. Rather than muse pointlessly he moved along the table and looked at the next object. It was a simple pebble. He bent down to look at it to observe any distinguishing features, but it was still a pebble. A plain white, rather flat pebble about the size of a peanut.

"Right; pebble," he said as he wrote the word down, deciding not to make any observations about it. Why would anyone choose to include a pebble as one of their possessions? He'd try to work that out later.

"A book," he said next. It was a paperback book with dog eared covers and a spine that showed the signs of much use.

"Not just any book, Kenny. An unexpurgated copy of the Sir Richard Burton translation of _The Arabian Nights_."

He found it hard to place the emotion that filled her voice. There was a level of excitement, with a trace of something else. Why did the bird find the book so unusual?

"So, it's a copy of a book about Knights."

"Not knights. Kenny two short planks have more intelligence than you! Arabian Nights. The stories Scheherazade told in order to keep her life."

"It's a book, isn't it? I'll write down book." He vaguely remembered something about Arabian Nights but he couldn't quite bring the memory into clear focus.

"It was banned for being improper," Atonomatsuri said primly.

Zaraki suddenly saw the book as more interesting. "What? You mean there are pictures?"

"Never you mind, Kenny. As H. W. Beecher correctly points out: An impure man is every good man's enemy."

"Improper? Impure?" Zaraki's interest in the book became even more profound. "It could belong to a woman."

"Humph. None of the ladies," the bird laid heavy emphasis on the word, "would have a copy of that translation in their possession."

"You think so?" It was irrelevant anyway for the moment. He only had to work out who owned it and maybe he could persuade its owner to loan it to him. For research purposes, of course.

"Read the list to me, Kenny!"

"Read your own damned list," he muttered before complying. "Cup, coin, scroll, fan, bonsai, pebble and book. Four more."

"Is that a stick? Why has it got a star attached to the end?" The more he saw of these items, the more it was borne on him that he didn't know any of the people who owned them.

"It's a wand."

"A wand? Why would anyone keep a kid's toy like that?" The memory of his childhood was lost to him and he was positive he would never have used something so dumb. He was preparing to say something more when his eye was caught by the next object and he moved to stand in front of it and admire it.

"Two original samurai swords! They're in their original sheathes. You can tell they've been used by the scuff marks on the scabbard, but they've been prized. I want to see them properly."

"Whoever owned them took more care of them than you take of me, Kenny. Not even a smear of sword polish left on them. Even the handles have been carefully cleaned." There could be no doubt that Atonomatsuri was using this opportunity to snipe at him once more. "Have you finished admiring the blades, yet? We've got to finish this."

"Yeah. What's next?"

He found himself looking at something but could not work out what it was. It seemed to be a cushion, but why was it that shape and colour? Should pillows be bright red and in the shape of a pair of lips?

"Let's call it a cushion," he said to Atonomatsuri who didn't reply. A small exhalation caught his ear and he wondered if she was giggling. Why would she find the cushion funny? Strange; peculiar, warped. He could understand all those, but not funny.

The next object he was certain had to belong to a woman. No man would admit or provide a piece of origami made in the shape of a swan. "Another damned bird!" he thought hazily as he wrote down 'swan'.

"It's very pretty," Atonomatsuri breathed. "Kenny, you aren't good at origami, are you?"

"Me? You know the answer to that. Why are you asking?" Was it even important?

"Pity."

As soon as he thought he understood her a little, she started acting in a strange manner again. From now on, he would not try to understand her at all, except know that she had strange ideas and even stranger ways of helping him.

"That's all of them," he told Atonomatsuri. "Now we have to try and work out who belongs to what."

"Maybe we should work out which people we have. There's the Old Man, Soi Fong, Kira Izuru, Retsu, Momo, or one of her subordinates, Byakuya Kuchiki, Sajin Komamura, Shunsui, Shuhei Hisagi, Toshiro Hitsugaya and Jushiro Ukitake."

"Why are you listing them? I know who they are, except I'm not sure of 5th Division." They were wasting time on needless things. He wanted to get on with it, not make more lists. The bird seemed to have a list fixation. Was there a term to describe it?

"Really Kenny. Once more you show the stupidity of the claim that males are more logical than females. We need to know who we're talking about in order to work out who belongs to which."

For a second his eyes wanted to cross. Was that even correct? Rather than commence another unfulfilling and possibly lethal argument with her, he said, "Who do you think owns the fan?"

"That's obvious!"

Obvious? To whom? The person who owned it would know, but not anyone else. Why wouldn't the bird tell him, or did she take pleasure in making him guess? He didn't even bother replying.

_

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Author's Note

A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. (Or whichever holiday you celebrate at this time of year.)

Thank you to the people who reviewed. I will try to update more regularly after I return from Japan. Yes, Japan is the destination of choice this year. At least it will be cold.

Please review.

MS


	46. Name Game

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). _

**Name Game**

"It's not bloody obvious." Why keep quiet? He only had two hours to do this and playing stupid guessing games wouldn't help.

'Think: dragon," the bird hinted. "If I help you too much that would be cheating and we don't want any accusations of that."

"The kid? The kid owns a fan with a dragon on it?" He looked at the fan again and noticed that the dragon was white with a few touches of green. In looking at it closely he saw the minute scrawled script on the side, so close to the edge as to be almost invisible. If he had not been looking so closely he would have missed it.

"My Captain, to help in summer. Matsumoto," the inscription read. The fan had been a present from Hitsugaya's assistant captain. He'd heard once that the 10th Division Captain passionately hated summer. Now that he knew the answer it seemed clear. Without hesitation he wrote down Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya's name next to the word 'fan'.

Having hopefully correctly guessed one owner's identity he felt his spirits lift. Maybe if he concentrated and thought about things carefully he could work this out. If Atonomatsuri condescended to at least make sensible suggestions, it could be done.

He scanned the objects fixing them in his mind and hoped for inspiration.

As his eyes passed over the scroll for the third time he seemed to recall seeing it on the wall of someone's office. He wasn't in the habit of visiting the other captains, but occasionally he would, if there was no other option. The scroll had hung behind the Captain's desk and he'd glanced at it, decided the writing was too difficult to read and then forgotten about it. Now he knew the meaning of the words it seemed an odd choice, but perhaps not. The captain. Which one was it? As he endeavoured to see the face of the person on the other side of the desk, his mind kept slipping past the face to the coat the person was wearing. There was no face.

Of course there was no face! The Captain was wearing a helmet and the man had a sense of honour that almost rivalled Kuchiki's. The respect in which he held the Captain-General would mean that his long term friendship with the traitor Tosen increased the feeling of betrayal. The words may as well have been engraved in marble.

"Captain Komamura owns the scroll," he told the bird without any prompting as he wrote it down.

"And Tosen gave it to him," the bird said. "Don't you remember he told you that when he saw you looking at it? Ironic, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he replied without thinking. Whether he remembered or not, it didn't matter. Not wishing to be drawn into a discussion about irony it seemed easier to agree with the bird and the wisdom of this decision was repaid speedily.

"You should remember the bonsai," was her next remark. "You saw it on a very special occasion. An occasion that changed your life forever and the bonsai was part of it."

He almost smiled. Trees were not high on his list of things to memorise, even small ones. It seemed to be a Japanese maple. The leaves were at that stage of bright green which meant they had only recently sprouted on the plant. The plant roused no sign of recognition within him and the only special occasion he ever thought about was the day he met Yachiru. Other days were nothing compared to the importance of that meeting and the way it had changed his life. There had been no small trees dotting the landscape on that day, not that he would have noticed them if there had been. The killing, the blood, the sky and the clouds would stay in his memory forever, as would the appearance of a small pink haired child who showed no fear of him.

Giving into the impulse he looked at Yachiru who was looking directly back at him. She smiled and waved excitedly and when reminded sternly of her duty by the assistant captain of 8th Division, dropped her hands and tried to look serious. As soon as Ise turned away, Yachirue poked out her tongue and made an evil face. He almost laughed but intercepted a stern look from Soifong and turned his attention back to the challenge.

His gaze dropped to the pot that held the diminutive tree. The startling blue glaze made a hazy picture of a white ceiling form in his thoughts along with the recollection of a throbbing pain in his skull. The rustling of papers and a thirst that made his throat clench with the desire for water brought it all back. He hadn't noticed the plant at the time because his head ached so much from the hangover, but it had stood on the table in Retsu's room.

"Retsu owns the tree, doesn't she?"

"Of course she does. See, if you concentrate you can work things out. And that was one of the most important days of your life. The day you learnt my name." There was no mistaking the pride in Atonomatsuri's voice. "I knew you'd remember the significance. I'm touched, Zaraki."

He almost said, "In more ways than one," but stopped himself in time. If the vulture wanted to believe that he attached as much importance to that memory as she did, fine. It might sweeten her nature and that could only benefit him. The bird was too sentimental.

Things were improving. He had three of the 11 and he was certain he was correct in all the designations. Looking at the rest of the items it seemed unlikely he'd be as lucky with selecting the owners. An idea came to him and he decided to ask her opinion.

"I know Hinamori least of all. The only thing that seems obvious is that she was obsessed by her captain. Should I.....we, try to work out which thing is hers first, or leave her to the end?"

"You're actually asking what I suggest?" The bird sounded suspicious.

"Yeah, I am. You might understand the girl better than me, or picked up something I didn't notice." A small amount of flattery might go a long way with the vulture and it was easier than apologising.

"Leave her to last. A process of elimination will make it easier to match her. I suggest we try to work out who owns the pebble. 'The pebble in the brook secretly thinks itself a precious stone'. " she responded brightly. He had not heard her this animated for a long time, if ever, unless she was preparing to annoy him. Or maybe it was because she had yet another change to use an adage. Were there many sayings about pebbles? The sinking feeling in his gut indicated that there probably were.

He walked along the table until he was standing directly in front of the pebble. It was still small, still flat and still white. No matter how much he searched his memory he could not recall seeing it before, but would he remember a pebble? Pebbles were unimportant. Looking up it seemed if he looked at the faces of the possible owners, it might help him.

First he looked at Captain Ukitake. The man was frowning slightly as his gaze was fixed on the Captain of the 12th Division. Following his gaze, Zaraki observed that the man had his face very close to the table as he studied the swords. It seemed he was trying to look under them, possibly in the hope that there was some identifying mark on them that would hint at the owner. Could it be that Ukitake owned the swords and objected to such a close examination?

Soi Fong had a set look on her face which could mean anything. Briefly he wished she'd used the dolls he'd given her as her contribution, but admitted that would have almost been cheating. Would she own a pebble and imbue it with importance? It didn't seem likely and she wasn't looking in his direction anyway.

Then he noticed the steely gaze of Yamamoto. He was looking past Zaraki, over his left shoulder. Zaraki turned to see what he was looking at but only saw a bunch of observers who were huddled together and talking quietly. They seemed to be writing on a piece of paper as they occasionally looked up and at the table. There seemed to be some vendors doing a brisk trade in binoculars so the audience could closely observe the objects. If he blocked their view that should make it more difficult, but then he saw that most were being mobile and moving around to see past the obstructions.

"I think they're trying to work it out too," Atonomatsuri said. "It is quite an interesting challenge."

Zaraki snorted. Interesting! If stupid games were interesting then this might be, but he wasn't convinced. He looked closely at the people huddled together and was relieved to see that at least they weren't members of his division wasting their time.

As he observed more of the audience he noticed that a number of them were huddled together chatting and writing down words on paper and some of them were his men. Then he recalled a chance comment made by the Old Man on the previous day and groaned. Had he decided to turn this into a money making venture after all? What was he offering as a prize? If it was sake, there would be many takers. He noticed Ayasegawa and Madarame working together. He'd ask them what the prize was once this was over.

"Focus, Kenny. The pebble. Who would own a pebble?"

"If Aizen had removed it from his sandal, I'd say Hinamori owned it," he guessed.

"Not a bad suggestion, but I think there is more significance to the pebble than that. 'I was like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me'."

"You're a bird, not a boy." And she'd told him she was female. Was she having a gender crisis? Would it matter?

A loud sigh assailed his ears. "I may not be a boy, but Isaac Newton was!! Look for the ocean of truth. Look for the significance in the pebble." There was no doubt the vulture was becoming frustrated.

Significant pebbles. Precious pebbles. The importance of teddy bears. Oceans of truth! The bird had a peculiar view of the world. In her reality the cushion might end up being the foundation of a new religious cult, for all he knew. Or a doomsday machine constructed by a mad scientist. The only mad scientist he knew was standing opposite him staring at the pebble, so it wouldn't be his.

Realising the way his thoughts were flowing, he coughed loudly and stared at the pebble again. It still meant nothing. Why would anyone find such a thing of significance? The only time he noticed the little rocks were when they crept into his sandals and became annoying. Maybe Atonomatsuri was a reincarnated pebble. Only irritating when you knew about her.

"Where do pebbles come from?"

She had asked that question. Where do pebbles come from? Why was that important? Pebbles existed. They were there. Was she going to tell him about the sex life of pebbles? If so, he thought he might pass. For some reason it didn't interest him and he didn't think pebbles reproduced. Then again, sometimes he'd start with only one pebble in his shoe and end up with many. His mind shied away from considering the significance of that line of reasoning. He eyed the pebble suspiciously, wondering if it wanted to make its new home in his sandal and start its own little pebble tribe.

A sneer cut through his face. The bird had finally made his lose his mind. Making him think deeply about pebbles had led to these ideas. It had to stop. Now.

"The least movement is of importance to all nature. The entire ocean is affected by a pebble," the bird said triumphantly.

Ocean and water again. When the bird got an idea stuck in her decomposing brain, she wouldn't let it go.

"It's a pebble we're talking about. Not an ocean. And stop using adages."

The bird coughed gently and then said, "A fine quotation is a diamond in the finger of a witty person, but a pebble in the hands of a fool."

Zaraki smiled. "Yeah, we both agree on that. You're admitting you're a fool."

Atonomatsuri squawked loudly and then hissed. "I am not a fool!"

"But you said...."

"I meant you, Kenny."

He crossed his arms and pretended to be staring at the pebble. "You ask questions that mean nothing, use borrowed words to explain and then you're surprised I don't understand."

The silence that greeted his remark was strained. It was obvious he had offended her, but he was tired of the games she constantly played, her constant assertion of superiority. She kept telling him they had to work together and then insulted or abused him. Were all zanpakuto's condescending and difficult? He was certain that his must be the worst.

"I keep expecting more of you," Atonomatsuri said slowly. "You are my Shinigami and we were created together. I am you, you are me."

The bile that rose in Zaraki's throat made him gag. Yeah, sure he knew all that, but it was easier to pretend that she was only an annoying thing that had chosen to live in his mind and make his life difficult. Being reminded that they shared the same essence made him feel like immediately objecting to the facts. But to do so would be to renounce his code and that he wouldn't do. One of the things he didn't understand was why she knew so much that he didn't and seemed to pick up things faster. Recalling that strengthened his belief that they were not a reflection of each other. They were simply tied together through mischance.

"You are you and I am me," he said in a low growl. "You're an accident."

"That is a terrible thing to say, Kenny! That's the type of hurtful thing a parent says to a child when they want to demonstrate their power." There seemed to be a great amount of pain in the birds voice.

If he replied the situation would degenerate and once more they would return to the ongoing argument. He was growing increasingly tired of fighting her with no satisfactory outcome. If it had been a physical battle, he would have enjoyed it and welcomed the ongoing competition, but this word battle seemed endless and while he didn't fear defeat, he didn't anticipate victory.

They'd both lost sight of where they were. Kurotsuchi was looking smug as he had obviously noticed Zaraki's distraction. He'd appeal to the birds hatred of the man to try to get her back on his side. "The Clown is looking happy. You don't want that joke of a Captain to win, do you? We've got to finish this challenge and I'm not talking about anything else, understand?"

A long and weary exhalation indicated that the bird had heard him and might see reason. "I'll help you Kenny, but only because I don't want that man to win. I can't tell you the answer, because that would be wrong."

He almost yelled at the bird that 'No one would know and how could it be cheating?' Instead he calmly clenched his fists and waited for her to tell him whatever it was she was going to say.

"Little bits of water wear away a rock,

Little bits of toenail wear away a sock."

Certain he might has misheard her, he repeated the words she had spoken. Another comment about water and rocks though he was unsure why she was mentioning socks. Then it struck him and he cursed loudly aloud only to have everyone stare at him. It was obvious and if Atonomatsuri had just mentioned the action of water on rocks earlier, he would have understood. A pebble might be the one of the last remains of a boulder or a mountain which had been worn down over time due to the actions of the weather. It was a reminder that what was once great can be reduced to something small and seemingly insignificant.

"So you're saying that the pebble is important to someone because it was once really big and important and now it's not."

"Yes!" The bird seemed pleased that he understood, but he thought he detected a trace of impatience in her voice.

Immediately he dismissed Kuchiki as a possible owner. He would not wish to be reminded because it would be a sign of humility and the man was not humble. A reminder that even the greatest could be reduced to the lowest level would not sit well with the man. As he considered it an idea came to him.

"Do you think Kuchiki owns the coin? If it is as valuable as you say, he would like owning something that rare."

"I wish you could pick it up so I could examine it. It looks like an Anglo-Saxon gold coin depicting Coenwulf King of Mercia (796-821). They're rare. And expensive." Atonomatsuri's voice was hushed.

He felt a frown wrinkle his brow. "Why do you know so much about coins?"

"I had a lot of time on my hands, Kenny."

It still didn't make sense. She was with him all the time and he didn't spend much time ion libraries or reading.

"But how can you...."

"If you want the answers to important questions you'll have to achieve bankai. A girl has to have some secrets."

For a moment he thought the last comment would be followed by a giggle. When he heard what followed, he knew he would have preferred the giggle.

The bird gave a small cough and said, "To whom you tell your secrets, to him you resign your liberty."

He remained silent. By now he would have thought there were no adages unsaid, but she constantly seemed to find new ones. She had to have some way of gaining this information but he knew it was futile to try to get her to explain anything. She could be as stubborn as the old man when she wanted to be. He'd learnt there was little point in arguing with Yamamoto. The guy refused to fight him and he hated being locked in cells or when any of his privileges as a Captain were revoked. While Atonomatsuri might not be able to do either of those things, she would make his life unpleasant until she was appeased.

"Fine. Be like that," he said and then laughed when he noticed the petulance in his voice. Petulant. The bird was making him act like a child and he didn't like it but it was either laugh or become enraged and his anger only amused the bird and gave her the opportunity to act superior. He turned his attention back to the pebble. The coin could wait.

"I bet the old man owns the pebble. It's the sort of thing he'd use when he wanted to remind someone how unimportant they are," he said. Even as he said it he felt a lack of conviction in his assertion.

"You might be misjudging him, but you might be right about it belonging to him. Captain Yamamoto created this place, he made changes, but even he has to know that nothing is permanent. A rock cannot last forever, nor can a Captain or Commander."

Zaraki found he was nodding his head. If he included the old man, only 4 of the original 13 Captains remained and he was certain that many of the vice captains had been replaced also.

"None of the others seem likely. I'll put his name down with a question mark next to it. But we better get moving. 4 out of 11 objects," the bird reminded him.

Looking at the other objects, Zaraki found he was puzzled. Nothing seemed to fit. Briefly he considered that the book might belong to Kyoraku, but that would be too obvious. He was certain that Soifon would not own the pillow. Hinamori might, it was a very girly thing, but it didn't seem to fit either. The his eye rested briefly on the swan and he shuddered slightly.

"What's wrong, Kenny? Did a vulture walk over your grave?"

"Only over my mind," he replied and looked at the swan again. The intricate paper folds were exact and the object should be pleasing but for some unknown reason he didn't like it. It was pink, which might be the reason he detested it, but pink was a colour he had learned to live with. He'd had no choice.

"Do you know anyone who does origami?" The bird seemed interested and it was a good suggestion.

"No. Folding little pieces of paper into distorted shapes isn't interesting," he said.

"It's because your fingers are too big," was the quickly reply from Atonomatsuri. "You need clever dexterous fingers and a clever mind to do origami."

"I'm not interested," he said with seeming disinterest but her words had made something jar at the back of his mind. Clever dexterous fingers. Paper.

"I don't think the person who made this is the owner," slowly the words emerged. "I think it is a keepsake."

"Do you think Yoruichi....." Atonomatsuri asked excitedly but he shook his head and then quickly responded in the negative.

"I'm sure she could do that if she wanted to, but it doesn't seem energetic enough for her. I'm thinking of a person who was very good with paperwork and a manipulator of people."

"I'm pretty sure you don't mean Ichimaru and Kira wouldn't keep anything that belonged to the man. The only person who would treasure something would be the unconscious girl." There was complete assurance in the bird's voice.

"I don't know the girl but she was fixated on the man. What she saw in Aizen I don't know.." his voice trailed off as he acknowledged that while he hadn't trusted the man, or even liked him very much, he'd done nothing about it. Aizen had nearly ruined Abarai by his treatment and while he hadn't been very interested, it should have provided some warning to him.

"We're guessing all of these, and we might not be right, but if we leave anything blank it will count as a mistake," he said after glancing at the rules. "Five done, 6 left."

A loud announcement drew his attention away. "One hour has passed. You only have one more hour to decide your answers." Ise seemed pleased to be making the announcement and he gave her a toothy grin. Her eyes passed over his face speedily and it made him grin even wider. The temptation to swear loudly and upset her passed through his mind but it wouldn't help him work out this problem. Looking at her, an idea struck him.

"The pillows belong to Kyoraku," was his claim.

Loud laughter greeted his words. "You think that Captain Casanova owns that pair of lips?" The bird fell silent immediately she had said it providing Zaraki with the time to look at the object. If you took away the shape, the pillow looked like it would be quite comfortable, but it was evident that originally the pillow had been owned by a female. Knowing the man's sense of humour he considered that any participants would expect a female to own it. He could not imagine either Retsu or Soifon owning the object and it seemed a little over the top for Hinamori.

However, a man who was content to walk around in a cheap women's robe worn as proudly as a captain's coat could own it. Zaraki recalled that his previous assistant captain had also been a female, and from all accounts, she had rather peculiar tastes. After her death the Captain might have kept the pillow as a reminder of her, or because he liked it. With him, who could tell?

"Maybe your idea is not so wrong after all," the birds words broke the silence between them. She then proceeded to outline her reasons which were remarkably similar to his own.

"We agree," he said.

"On this matter," was her tart reply. "I'm positive Soifon owns the swords."

It was a logical deduction but it didn't seem right. Looking closely it appeared that the swords were no longer used as weapons, but mounted for decoration. That did not sound like the second division captain. She would use weapons, not put them on display. If she had owned them, it was highly probable that she would have exhibited them in her office but he could not recall seeing any noticeable display of weapons. Mostly, it seemed too predictable for the weapons to belong to Soifon. The only easy guess so far had been the fan, if anyone was paying attention, and it struck him as odd that there was one item that was obviously easy. Possibly Ise had decided that one easy guess was permissible or Hitsugaya had left the selection of the item to his second in command.

"You're wrong," he said once he'd thought about it.

"What? You can't be serious. Obviously they belong to her! Who else would prize swords like these? You're being contrary to annoy me, that's why you're saying this." There was no mistake that Atonomatsuri was becoming angry. In a perverse way this both pleased and irritated him. To anger the bird proved that she wasn't in control as much as she liked to pretend but he didn't want to have to go through the process of soothing her ruffled feathers again.

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Author's Note

Finally managed to finish the chapter and while it is not as long as I would like, I wanted to post it and start on the next chapter. For some reason my normal January trip did not leave me much time for writing.

A number of people made some very interesting suggestions about which person owned which object, but while many of them were logical, they were too easy, far too easy. Easy would be nice, but predictable. Thank you very much to the people who reviewed.

This chapter was written on my interim netbook as my laptop is now being passed to another family member. As usual it has been a challenge learning a new operating system and new Word configuration. I suppose it will mean the end of my complaints about Visturgh, I mean Vista, which is no bad thing.

The next chapter will be completed before the end of the month, all going well. I promise and yes my fingers are crossed, but you're not meant to notice.

This is also an important chapter as the number of adages used by Atonomatsuri has now reached 300 and Zaraki still hasn't managed to make her stop.

Please review.

MS


	47. Attention Seekers

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). _

**Attention Seekers**

"It's too bloody obvious. That's why I don't agree with you," he said and tried to moderate the harshness of his tone. "This isn't meant to be easy. It's meant to mislead you into thinking things are going to be simple, but take the bloody pebble. How easy was that?"

There was a brief pause and then an angry exhalation of breath. "I don't agree with you. I know Soifon owns the swords. I'm positive. Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on."

The determination he discerned in her voice indicated that she would not change her mind and the point of the adage was not lost to him. He was damned if he was going to change his mind. They were at deadlock and it wasn't likely that it would end with either of them conceding the other was wrong.

Another way of approaching the matter might work. "Kira wouldn't own the swords," was his cool observation.

"That man seems more afraid of fighting than anyone else I've seen," the bird agreed. "If he owned the weapons, he would hide them or place them somewhere out of sight. An evil conscience is always fearful and unquiet."

The bird was using adages with increasing frequency and he didn't seen how Kira could be considered evil, except by association. Ignoring her last statement, he considered her earlier suggestion. At least they could agree on that but the problems with the ownership was still not solved. The only was he could see that he would convince the bird that Soifon did not own the swords was to suggest ownership of the other items until only Soifon and the swords were left. Waiting for inspiration his eyes were drawn to the book. "What's the Arabian Nights about?" A change of subject might make the bird forget the contentious issue for a time and if they could agree on whom that belonged to, it would only be a matter of the last few items to argue about.

"Would you like an explanation?" The bird seemed flattered by the thought.

"Yeah. If I know what it's about it might make it easier to decide who might own it." There was also the chance she might help him decide if he would waste his time trying to read it.

"It's a collection of short stories held together by a central story," Atonomatsuri began.

Short stories were easier to read than long, drawn out books. That was something in its favour.

"The king marries a new wife each day and kills her the next."

Zaraki wrinkled his forehead. Did he get tired of the women so quickly? Wouldn't he run out of women to marry? There would be no risk of unwanted children. "Why?"

"One of his wives betrayed him, or all of them. He had a harem. All of the women were put to death, but he didn't wish to remain unmarried. He didn't follow the wise precept of: 'Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. '"

This was becoming more interesting, if he ignored the comment about marriage. "So?"

"One woman, Scheherazade, begins telling him a story each night and doesn't finish it so he keeps her alive to finish the story and when she finishes she starts another story."

That sounded disappointing after the build up. Telling stories to keep the man interested didn't sound like a normal relationship, but it depended the type of stories.

"What sort of stories?"

"Tales of fantastic events and people. Djinns, efreets, good and evil wizards, magic and suspense."

Zaraki was rapidly losing interest in the book. "Fairy stories? Why is the book so bad then?"

"Some of the stories and illustrations are not meant for children. Innocence should be protected."

There was a haughty tone in her voice and Zaraki decided that he would definitely read the book, if it would annoy her. "Sounds like something Kira would own, unless it is Koyuga. Kira doesn't like reality much."

"I don't think he would own the cup or the coin. But owning that book doesn't seem like something he would want people to know about."

She'd made a good point. Ownership of that book could be potentially embarrassing for the assistant captain, but only if you knew what it was about. The chances were most people would think it was a simple book of fairy stories and believe it belonged to one of the females; Hinamori for example.

He looked at the cover again and noticed the picture depicted beautiful women who were clustering around a man who looked a little like Kira.

"He does look a little bit like Kira. Just a little," the bird agreed when he mentioned it to her. "If Kira had dark hair and looked like he wasn't afraid of everything."

Again becoming aware of the time, Zaraki wrote Kira's name next to 'Book'.

"That leaves the wand, the cup and the coin," he said to Atonomatsuri.

"And the swords," she put in quickly. "But they belong to Soifon. "

Before she could continue to harangue him about that question, or utter another adage, he said, "I don't think Kuchiki would own the wand."

He heard a stifled giggle and felt a sense of achievement. By making that statement he had deflected the birds attack and set her mind on a different path.

"I can see him waving around in private, but he would certainly not submit it and admit ownership," the bird burbled. "The man likes blossoms, why not wands?"

Zaraki permitted the smile to show. The image of the noble waving around a wand with streamers attached, while light reflected off the spangles was very amusing. "Not Kuchiki then. That leaves Soifon, Hisagi and Ukitake. And I'm including Soifon because I think it's hers."

"Humph," the bird said. "That woman would not own a wand. Swords, yes. A cup and coin, possibly. A wand, never!"

Despite the assurance Atonomatsuri displayed, he was not convinced. "Why not?"

There was a hesitation before he received a response. "It's an item that would normally be owned by an immature female."

While he could not dispute that fact, he didn't see the relevance of repeating the designation of the item. "It's a wand. So what? Do you think Hisagi owns it?"

Again there was a pause and then a small chuckle. "No. Nor Captain Ukitake. The cup, coin or swords, but not the wand. If he did own it, I am sure it was a gift."

He saw the opening and quickly spoke before the bird could add anything further. "Yoruichi might have given the wand to Soifon." Taking care not to elaborate any further, he let the silence stretch as the words sank in. If her former Captain had given her the wand, Soifon would never part with it. Her need to obtain the doll proved her devotion had not wavered and possibly the latest interaction had only strengthened it.

"It doesn't look like something Yoruichi would own, either," the bird protested. "Maybe she gave the swords to Soifon and that's why she displays them. A present from a loved one is more treasured than the most precious jewel."

While she made a good point he hated to admit she was right and more to the point he was convinced that Soifon did not own the swords. All his instincts told him that she owned the wand. None of the other possibilities fit. Hinamori possibly, but if she owned the wand, who owned the pink origami swan?

"Half an hour more," Ise said loudly.

"We can't afford to rethink everything. We've got to finish this. Even if we don't get everything right, we have to get as many right as possible." He felt a slight amount of pressure. There was little doubt in his mind that he would make mistakes, but he was certain Kurotsuchi would also. The man held aloof from his fellow captains and gave the impression he did not wish to know them.

Not wishing to give her a chance he said, "It would be too obvious if Kuchiki owned the coin."

"Look at it closer. There's something a little odd about it," the bird requested abruptly. "Observation leads to certainty."

He moved to the coin and looked at it. At first glance it looked old. "Bend closer. I want to check something," the bird said distractedly.

On bending closer he noticed the writing looked odd. He couldn't recognise the script, or the language. The coin was the same yellow as gold, there was a picture of someone who looked vaguely familiar but the lack of detail made it difficult to discern whom it might be.

"That looks like Hisagi," Atonomatsuri breathed. "And the coin is the wrong colour for gold. It might be gilt, or gold paint, but it's a fake. I'm positive this would belong to him."

Zaraki nodded in agreement. It was a specific item but when he'd looked at it, he'd only seen the gold and the coin. Coins looked remarkably similar to him and as he lacked interest in them, he did not pay much attention. He almost reminded her that he'd stated that the coin might be a fake. There was no point and it would only cause another argument. For once he was prepared to acknowledge that he needed her help and mentioning that fact might cause more contention.

Without thinking about it any further he wrote Hisagi's name on the list. "Three to go," he murmured to Atonomatsuri. And one of those was the contentious swords. Rather than returning to that dispute he remembered she'd said something about the cup.

"A trick cup. That has to be Ukitake!" The man did appear to have a sense of humour. Not greatly developed, but otherwise why would he keep those two Shinigami as joint 3rd seats if not for the amusement factor? Their constant competition and inability to think for themselves would force a lesser man to try to send them to another division.

"I'm not sure," The quiet reflection in Atonomatsuri's voice made him pause. This time he was prepared to listen to her suggestions as long as she didn't voice another of the blasted adages. The bird said nothing and he began to lose his patience.

"Not sure? Why?" Maybe asking a question would goad her into providing an answer. The bird continued to remain silent and tired of waiting for any reply, Zaraki examined the cup once more. He had not previously noticed the quality of the porcelain, or the fine detail of the decoration which seemed to be a bare branch of a tree. The blue colour used to depict the branch stood out against the creamy white of the glaze. While it might be a trick cup, it was beautiful.

A casual observer would consider it to be a normal drinking vessel and treat it as such.

"You think it belongs to Kuchiki, don't you?" The only reason the bird was remaining quiet was due to her hatred of being wrong. If he made the suggestion and it proved to be wrong, he would be the one on whom the blame could be placed.

"That's an interesting suggestion, Kenny," she paused and he waited for another adage, but she continued to maintain silence.

Sighing he asked, "Do you agree, or not? Time's running out."

"If you insist, then write down the Captain's name," she said smoothly.

As he commenced to write Kuchiki's name next to the cup she added, "But only if you put Soifon's name next to the swords. Fair is fair."

She wasn't letting it go and he protested. "That would mean Ukitake would own the wand. I don't see it."

"Then put the wand next to Hinamori and the origami swan next to Ukitake," the bird suggested. "He might own the swan. It might have been a gift from his dead assistant captain."

"It's a pink swan!" Zaraki almost yelled as he stated the obvious. From what he knew of the man, Kaien hadn't been dedicated to origami, birds or the colour pink.

"Kaien's wife then. She might have made it," the bird persisted.

Barely restraining his increasing frustration, he took a deep breath. If he said anything now, the number of expletives he used would far outnumber any other words. Swearing pleased the bird as it showed he had lost control and she would use it against him to get her own way.

"Is anything wrong, Kenny boy," the bird sounded smug.

It struck him that Atonomatsuri was doing this deliberately. His anger was the weapon she was using against him, and using it effectively. Instead of rousing him to greater fury he felt a sense of calm overtake him. "No," he replied easily to her question.

"Do we have a deal? Win or lose, let's play the game."

Even as he knew instinctively that she was wrong, he prepared to answer in the negative when his words were interrupted.

"5 minutes," Ise said loudly.

The 12th Division Captain exploded into speech. "Why didn't you warn us when it was 15 minutes?"

It was a fair question, but Zaraki didn't see the point of protesting.

"You could observe the time, if you had wished to do so," the woman replied calmly as her glasses flashed in the light.

She was correct, but Kurotsuchi wasn't placated. "That wasn't in the rules!"

Opening the folder she was holding Ise read aloud, "Rule 31: It is up to the contestants to judge the time remaining. It is up the officials if any reminders are provided. It is in the rules and stated in plain and simple language."

"Unlike the rest of the rules," Atonomatsuri told Zaraki snidely. He had to prevent a laugh from escaping at the comment.

Kurotsuchi continued to argue with the assistant captain as Atonomatsuri said to Zaraki, "If I'm wrong I won't use adages for an hour."

"A day." An hour would pass too soon.

"Half a day," the bird bargained.

"A day," on this point he would stand firm. She wanted him to do what she wanted, there had to be a sound reward for him. "And you have to help me work out what to do with Piecrust."

"Fine. As for Piecrust, I think you will need to placate Yamamoto. If you're wrong about your answers then you have to be nice to me for a day," the bird's condition didn't come as a surprise.

"An hour," he returned. Being 'nice' to Atonomatsuri might be costly and include listening to her going on at length about some boring subject or another.

"If you get a day, I get a day. Ask and ye shall receive."

He rubbed his face with both hands. 'I could sleep that day,' he reasoned inwardly. 'If I'm sleeping I won't say anything she could see as insulting.'

Reluctantly he replied to her demand. "Agreed."

Quickly he wrote the last three names down, after crossing out Hinamori's and replacing it with Ukitake's.

His face twisted into a mask of paint covered rage, Kurotsuchi was writing hurriedly on his piece of paper. The argument with the assistant captain had not worked to his advantage and he seemed to be crossing out words and rewriting as speedily as he could.

"No further writing is permitted. The challenge is now over." Ise said and then looked at the audience. "Those of you who are participating in the competition, please make certain that your names and divisions are written legibly on the paper. Then fold them four times and place them in one of the boxes that is being carried among you."

Zaraki looked over to Madarame and Ayasegawa and noticed that his 5th seat was rapidly folding a piece of paper and placing it in the box that was being held out to him. "It must be a good prize," he thought.

"I will take those from you," Ise said and collected the answers from both Zaraki and Kurotsuchi. As he handed over his paper, the latter bared his teeth at her in a snarl.

"I won't forget this," he sniped. "I'll lodge a formal complaint."

"The rules are clear. If you failed to read them closely the fault is yours." The woman was serene but Zaraki noticed a small smile appearing on the corners of her mouth as she turned away.

"There will now be a short recess while the answers are checked," Ise announced, once she had handed over the papers to the judges. "You may retire and refresh yourselves," she told Zaraki and Kurotsuchi.

A female Shinigami appeared between the two captains. "Please come with me, Sirs," said Rukia with a smile. "Captain Ukitake has readied tea and snacks and would be honoured if you would partake of them."

The news was very welcome to Zaraki who was feeling quite thirsty despite his earlier precautions. He wanted to thank her, but instead nodded in agreement and gave her a quick smile and waited to see how the 12th Division captain would reply.

"At least one person knows how to treat me," Kurotsuchi said with a thin smile. "We will be delighted."

"Don't answer on my behalf," Zaraki, said quickly not wishing to be identified with the man. "I'd like a drink," he told Rukia.

Rukia led them to one side of the area and through a small set of doors. Captain Ukitake was sitting down at a small table with a teapot steaming on a small burner. The food set out impressed Zaraki with the quantity and presentation. A loud groaning squeak echoed through the room. He knew it wasn't his stomach making that noise and immediately looked at Kurotsuchi who was observing him with disgust.

"I apologise. Preparing this food had made me hungry, as my stomach has just announced," Captain Ukitake said, looking faintly embarrassed.

"You don't have to lie to protect my feelings, Captain," Rukia said sweetly as she took her place standing next to her seated superior. "It was my stomach."

"Listening to your blather is turning my stomach," the 12th Division Captain said as he took a seat as close to the door as possible.

"You don't have to act like a ungrateful moron all the time," Zaraki said as an aside.

"What is there to be grateful for? That I am being forced to compete against you due to something YOU did!"

"Would you like some tea," Captain Ukitake said quickly. "Rukia, give serve each of the captains some of the delicacies that will suit them best."

Rukia opened her mouth to say something but intercepted the warning look being directed toward her. "Certainly, Captain. Captain Zaraki, please enjoy some of these dumplings. I guarantee they contain no natto whatsover." She smiled at him and he returned the smile as he selected some of the proffered food.

Biting into one he found he was pleasantly impressed with the flavour. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his competitor take a disdainful bite and then he began to gobble the items in front of him as quickly as he could.

"I'm pleased to see you enjoying my humble offerings," the 13th Division Captain said as he slowly sipped at his tea. "As Nanao indicated, there will be another challenge to be undertaken today once the results of this one are known. This will take the place of lunch."

Zaraki nodded thoughtfully as he processed the new facts. It would be better to get all these things out of the way so he could go back to his Division and continue the work he had commenced. Now Madarame was recovered they could continue the lessons on how to handle the altered zanpakuto and possibly start the 10 years word that was necessary to reach bankai. 10 years was a hell of a long time, especially if he had to spend it talking with Atonomatsuri. There was some concern that he might be a raging alcoholic before half that time was over, considering how often he'd turned to drink after one of her 'enlightening' discussions.

The feeling in his stomach reminded him of his hunger, but rather than prove all the slights that had been levelled at the manners of the 11th Division, Zaraki ate slowly and carefully as he chatted idly with Rukia and her Captain. The one time he tried to touch on the rules of the competition and any future possible events, Ukitake looked down and then stared at him steadily.

"As I stated previously, we never expected these rules to be used. They should have been amended, but due to indolence and lack of necessity, they remained as they were written."

Nodding encouragingly, Zaraki hoped he would provide further insight, but he was due for disappointment.

"Only Assistant Captain Ise is aware of the nature of the rest of the challenges," Ukitake said. "That, too, is one of the rules."

"I don't trust that woman," Kurotusuchi's voice was querulous and slightly muffled due to the amount of food he'd crammed into his mouth.

"Nanao has great integrity," was Rukia's reply. "I would trust her to follow any rule to the letter."

"Nemu would have been a better choice, or Akon," the man continued, ignoring Rukia's comment.

The white haired captain coughed gently before he spoke. "Your assistant captain is still unwell and she was never considered for the position. Assistant Captain Ise owes no loyalty to either the 11th or 12th Divisions which was a requirement for the role."

"Are you questioning the reliability of my people?" As he spoke, Kurotuschi jumped to his feet, the anger of his movement mirrored in his voice.

Before the man could storm out of the room the 13th Division Captain held up a placatory hand. "Not at all. Please, sit down and continue your meal. I was merely observing that there was never any possibility that any person from either of your divisions would be chosen to oversee the competition, despite their honesty and earnest desire that everything should be equal."

"The Clown Captain is unhappy," Atonomatsuri almost purred.

"Yeah. I agree, Ukitake. It's better that it's Ise. She's not that fond of either of us." It was the truth, or so Zaraki thought. "And she doesn't hate being the centre of attention." Even as he spoke he wondered if the intended joke would fall flat.

Rukia giggled and then covered her mouth with her hand. She cast an apologetic look at her captain and Zaraki noticed his hand was also covering his mouth.

"Craft must have clothes, but truth loves to go naked. Truth can be painful," Atonomatsuri said, by way of explanation.

"So can too many bloody adages," Zaraki growled back at her.

"I'm the centre of attention," Kurotsuchi stated with complete seriousness, staring with hatred at Zaraki. "You're just there to make up the numbers."

"Whatever," Zaraki said and turned away from him. His appetite had faded, but he continued to eat, no longer enjoying the taste. Frequently being in the company of this man was making him lose his appetite. Even though it pained him to admit it, even to himself, he preferred Atonomatsuri's company. Instead he asked for and received some plain water which he drank.

The appearance of a Hell Butterfly indicated that they should return to hear the verdict. "I don't care, as long as we beat him," Atonomatsuri said with a large dose of venom in her voice.

Ise stood in the centre, looking serious. As the approached she announced, "The winner or winners of the guessing competition will be announced later, once the results are tallied."

Frowning, Zaraki wondered at the delay. That was why they'd had the break so the judges could check who had the most correct answers.

"I will now announce which Captain correctly identified the most objects. This will be done by matching each item with the correct owner and then indicating which captain was correct."

That made more sense. He'd forgotten about the money making venture that Yamamoto had added to these competitions.

"We will commence with 1st Divison. The pebble belongs to Captain-General Yamamoto."

There was a murmuring in the crowd with a few disgusted exclamations. Refusing to look at his competitor, Zaraki felt a sense of relief that he'd chosen at least one of the items correctly.

"You got that one right because of me," was the bird's smug comment.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, not really thinking too deeply about it. Yamamoto was unmoved, as Zaraki expected. Admitting to ownership of a pebble meant little and didn't disclose any intimate secrets about the man.

"The wand belongs to Captain Soi Fon."

There were startled gasps and the 2nd Division Commander flushed slightly, but stood proudly.

"You were right?" The bird sounded incredulous.

"I bet Yoruichi gave it to her. Ownership of it would be a matter of satisfaction for her," Zaraki explained simply. He began to feel a pleasant state of anticipation of a day without adages. Hell, that might make up for being involved in this insane set of challenges.

"The Assistant Captain of 3rd Division contributed the book of 'The Arabian Nights'."

Permitting the smile to spread over his face, he decided to try borrowing the book as soon as possible. If nothing else, he could look at the illustrations and it was sure to annoy a certain picky vulture. Maybe he could tease out the information about how the book came into his ownership.

Kira maintained his normal hang dog expression and refused to look at anyone, despite a few loud remarks being directed toward him.

"That's three, Kenny."

"We would have got three right, if you'd listened to me," he said coolly. Despite the temptation, he still refused to look at his rival. He'd already witnessed the smug look on that man's face on too many occasions and didn't feel like seeing it once more.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note

As promised, another chapter before the end of the month. I hope it provides some answers and the next one will see the end of this particular challenge and the commencement of the new one. For some reason I have a feeling Piecrust may make a special appearance soon. He's been complaining about his lack of visibility and for that he must suffer.

The next chapter is already underway. Thanks to Enterprise, Wandering the Arid Sea, Ancestor's Dragon, Evilhumour Author, star's dream, Blackheart214, OBSERVOR01, Condor green, tanith-4486 and HI for the reviews.

For clarification purposes, this story takes place after the Soul Society Arc, but before the Hitsugaya mission goes to the real world to help Ichigo.

Please review.

MS


	48. Fortune's Arrow

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). _

**Fortune's Arrow**

"I wish she'd hurry up," he thought. "I want to find out if I can finish this and get onto the next one."

"Just tell us who won," one of the observers yelled impatiently. "You can explain later."

Ise raised a carefully shaped eyebrow and stared with disdain in the direction of the voice. "There is a correct procedure to follow and I will do so unless advised to do otherwise by the Captain-General. Any further interruptions will result in further delays in the announcement."

The silence that fell on the crowd was a clear sign that all members of the audience were keen to discover the result, even if it meant waiting. It was almost as if each member was holding their breath, fearful that the announcement would delayed if they exhaled too loudly.

"The very beautiful and valuable bonsai is owned by the Captain of the 4th Division," Ise said after permitting the silence to stretch for some time.

Retsu smiled sweetly and bowed her head in acknowledgment. A very small buzz of conversation greeted this announcement.

"Another one right." Atonomatsuri sounded pleased.

He nodded as if to confirm the observation, but still felt that he would lose. Making the bargain might prove costly if it meant that Kurotsuchi won. Determination filled him. If he lost this, he would lose no other. There was no possibility that he would lose to the clown who despised everyone. What made him so certain of his superiority?

"The origami swan was found amongst the possessions of the 5th Division Assistant Captain Momo Hinamori. The acting assistant captain found it on her desk and submitted it on her behalf."

He heard an impatient sound from his left where Kurotsuchi was standing. He ignored this indication of possible error, reflecting instead on his own error. The vulture was quiet and he hoped she would stay that way. Any words she offered now would only serve to underline how imprudent he had been to trust her . All the same, when she next reminded him of his stupidity or insulted him, he could mention her mistakes. The thought brought little consolation to him, but there was nothing else he could do.

"We now come to 6th Division." Ise stood straighter and held sheathe or notes more firmly. "The cup is a family heirloom of the Kuchiki clan."

His thoughts whirled. 3 out of 5. The odds were not very good and he was certain that at least one more of his choices was incorrect. That would mean the total, if all the others proved correct, totalled at 8 out of 11. As he'd only heard the disgruntled exclamation once, it seemed likely that Kurotsuchi had guessed the other items correctly. Resolutely he tried to keep his eyes on Ise, but they wandered involuntarily to Yachiru. She smiled and waved, but her actions were noted and she quickly ceased after receiving a stern frown from Soi Fon. Even so, the brief eye contact soothed him. The smile she'd given him didn't indicate he'd won. It was a smile between friends, but it made his spirits lift slightly.

A disgusted sigh from his side made him think that the 12th Division Captain was displeased to witness this display of friendship. The man could get stuffed. If he couldn't maintain anything like a friendship with anyone, including his own daughter, he should seek some sort of counselling, not try to sour the relationships of others. The man had all the charm of a threadworm with dysentery. He had been well placed when he had been incarcerated in the Maggot's Nest.

"Speed it up woman," Kurotsuchi said, his voice as forceful as he could make it. "You might find this amusing, but it's my honour that's in question."

Zaraki's fists clenched involuntarily as he fought the impulse to thump the man. Once more he'd proven his conceit and inability to listen to simple instructions. Ise would quite likely decide to withhold the results due to the additional interruption. Zaraki hoped she wouldn't.

Ise stared at the 12th Division Captain and raised an eyebrow as her lips narrowed. "I warned that further interruptions would delay the announcement of the results. You are not exempt from that warning."

"Hell," thought Zaraki. "She's going to actually carry out her threat."

Glancing at Yamamoto, he hoped that the man would order her to continue. The man stood there, leaning on his stick and he thought he saw him nod in agreement.

"You can't do that!" Kurotsuchi screeched, his hands forming into claws as he reached in the woman's direction. "I have to know that I won. Tell me now. As your superior officer, I order you to continue."

"Shut up," Zaraki said, unable to control his tongue. He wanted to say more but the chances were that the man would not listen to him and would continue to gibber about his importance.

"The Assistant Captain is within her rights to delay the announcement. A warning was clearly pronounced and you ignored it," Yamamoto was now standing next to Ise.

"Interesting, isn't it, Kenny? The man baits you about having no self control and he has even less. So often people accuse others of the less than admirable traits that they themselves possess. People are a mirror in which we see imperfect reflections of ourselves."

Again it seemed that Atonomatsuri was giving him a backhanded compliment. The excitement was affecting her. That was the only reason he could think of for her statement. But while he thought about that, it came to him that they were more often in agreement now than previously. The bird sniped at him constantly, but she interspersed the complaints, bitter accusations and damned adages with these occasional observations that were not detrimental to him. She'd even tried to help him and then proved her shortcomings. It was hard for him to work out how he felt about her. The original hatred and loathing with which he responded to her had been tempered and was not nearly as all consuming as it once was.

These thoughts were not ones he wished to have, especially not now. The uneasy truce he shared with the bird did not need consideration. It existed, for this time and might not last past the challenges. When they were over he'd think about it then, but only if it was necessary. Until then it wasn't important. He didn't believe is spending too much time on things that might never happen. Since first talking to the spirit of his zanpaku-to, he had considered those things more than normal, but he wasn't about to let it become a habit.

Her observation did not blind him to the fact that she had argued with him and made him agree with two wrong decisions. If the results of this were delayed and he managed to win the other challenges, it wouldn't matter. While he was interested in the ownership of the other items, it was less important than finishing this and proving that the 12th Division Captain deserved to be replaced by, if not a more competent officer, one who recognised privacy and would share the benefits that the 12th Division's research provided with the whole of the Seireitei.

"As this result is deferred, we will now move to the next challenge," Ise announced after conferring with the Captain-General. 'You have both rested, so it will commence immediately. I call forth the new judges: Captain Unohana, Assistant Captain Kira and Third Seat Madarame."

The former judges bowed and left the table returning to the seating for all potential judges. Yachiru waved cheerily at her captain and gave him a broad grin and wink.

Ise waited until everyone was seated before she took two folded papers from the desk. Opening one she glanced at the contents and nodded her head thoughtfully. "This challenge will be a little different from the previous ones as it relies on strength, skill and hand and eye co-ordination. It is a physical challenge."

Hearing those words made Zaraki's spirits lift. There was little chance that Kurotsuchi would beat him at a purely physical challenge and if it was fast, they might be able to complete at least one more during this, bringing the whole thing to an end that much sooner. He almost asked what the challenge was, but decided not to interrupt. Ise would tell them when she was ready and not before. The man standing beside his was seething noticeably, but didn't speak.

Ise gave a small smile and announced, "The next contest will be about accuracy in archery."

Wondering is his ears were working correctly he stared at Ise. "Archery? That's bows and arrows. Does someone think we're bloody Quincy's, or something?"

Archery was a no-contact way of fighting. How could he feel like he was winning if he couldn't feel his blade slice into unprotected flesh, feel the impact of steel against steel? Instead he was expected to ponce about, shooting arrows. What would they be shooting arrows at?

"The Captain who gets closest to the centre of the target with his three arrows will be the winner." Ise continued after permitting the hubbub of conversation to die down.

"Arrows, targets. This is like some lame kids competition," Zaraki thought.

He had used a bow and arrow once, because Yachiru had insisted on trying to teach him. "Archery is a noble sport," she'd said. "It's good for hunting."

He'd grinned at her and replied, "I only like to hunt people, with a sword for a bit of fighting."

She's shaken her head sadly and entreated him further. "Please, Ken-chan. I know you can do it. You can do anything."

He'd tried to dismiss what happened from his memory. He'd hated the way the bow felt in his hands as it didn't seem natural. Holding it meant precision and concentration as he aimed at the target. Now he was expected to aim at a target with an unfamiliar weapon for a competition that could mean dishonour if he failed. Not that he was worried he'd fail. It was he didn't want Kurotsuchi to win, that was all.

If he was lucky the bow would slip and he'd shoot his competitor, but while that might be fun, it wouldn't be totally satisfying. The man would probably run around squealing and begging that the arrow be removed which would pass the time, but he wanted to finish the guy off with his zanpakuto. Atonomatsuri would never let up on him if he kept her out of the fight.

While he was thinking, some Shinigami set up the target butts while all the people sitting in that area were moved to the already crowded alternative seating. He overheard the explanation and it made him smile grimly.

"We don't know if either Captain has ever held a bow before and we don't want any accidents."

Hope rose a little. Kurotsuchi might not know how to use the weapon and that might even the odds. He became aware of an annoying twittering going on in his head and realised the bird was talking to him and he'd been ignoring her, caught up in his thoughts and considerations.

"You're useless with a bow and arrow," he heard her say.

"Yeah, and I can imagine that you'd have a talent for it." It was easy for her to criticise but he was pretty certain that as she was a bird she wouldn't be able to hold a bow, let along aim it.

"I've never had the opportunity to try," the bird replied shortly and he heard a terseness in her voice, indicating she was not in the mood for his observations. "The one time you did you made a complete ass of yourself. You had trouble distinguishing the bow from the quiver."

"You really know how to help," was his reply while he inwardly seethed at her words. He was an ass? The only completely stupid thing he had done was listen to her and let her persuade him to use her suggestions. For a second he thought about mentioning it to her, but didn't need her to become increasingly objectionable. Her words and tone indicated that she was well on the way to causing problems rather than assisting him in solving them. He felt a sigh welling inside him.

Instead of all the insults he could have levelled at her he simply said, "Let's see if we can beat the Clown."

She replied immediately. "Together."

How she could help him, he wouldn't even begin to try to guess.

Kurotsuchi was mumbling and he listened intently. "Bows and arrows. Weapons used by the Quincy's who were a bunch of feeble vessels. My experiments on them hardly provided enough entertainment or new information. How they thought they were the equals of even the weakest Shinigami is a question that I will never answer."

The words were a definite indication. The derision in the man's voice made it appear that he his disgust at the Quincy's spread to the weapons they used. This contest might be more equal than he thought.

"Select your bow," Ise said indicating some that were standing in front of the judges table. Zaraki and Kurotsuchi arrived at the same time. Zaraki picked up one bow and looked at it.

"I want that bow," the Clown Captain said.

"Here. Have it," Zaraki said and gave it to him. All the bows looked similar and he didn't know why the guy wanted to make a big deal over who had which bow. They only had to shoot three arrows.

Picking up another bow, he pulled the string, or whatever it was, back to test the strength. He only exerted a little pressure, then a little more and heard an ominous cracking sound as the bow spilt in two. "Bloody thing," he muttered and tossed it to the ground. "Must be faulty."

He selected another bow and again tested the strength of it. He exerted much less pull but it seemed so fragile that he wondered how soon it would come apart in his hands. "Don't you have anything stronger? Something that might not break?" he asked the woman.

"These are adequate," she said, while staring at the ruins of the first bow. "You have to use the same equipment in order for the competition to be fair."

While he stared at her and the bow, he thought furiously. "Can I use a new bow each time, if I break one?"

"I don't think that would be correct," Kurotsuchi joined in the conversation.

"How am I supposed to shoot a target with a broken bow?" It wouldn't be possible. Zaraki had a feeling that the man was going to try to work this possible issue into a way of gaining a possible benefit.

"If you break the bow then you should forfeit the rest of the shots," his foe said and then nodded his head as if pleased with the idea. "You should be penalised for your lack of finesse."

Reaching down, Zaraki retrieved one large piece of the broken bow. He'd prefer to use his zanpaku-to, but it had been taken from him before the competition. If it were anyone else he'd try to wrench the person into pieces, but he didn't want to touch the man. The wood would allow him to keep a distance and the one end of the wood looked sharp. It might not kill the guy, but it might shut him up for a while.

A gasp indicated that Ise might have guessed his intention. "Please put the piece of wood down, Captain Zaraki. Captain Kurotsuchi, what you suggest is unfair. If you accidentally broke your bow during the first shot, you would expect to be given another chance." She was being reasonable with an unreasonable being.

"But I won't break the bow," Kurotsuchi said. "I know my own strength and how to moderate it when it will destroy something I need to use," his arrogance rang through his words. "The fact that this man is prepared to assault a defenceless person with a piece of wood is only another example of his inability to reason."

Ise's mouth twisted, almost as if she was attempting to prevent herself from laughing. It took a few seconds but she managed to say, 'No one would call you defenceless, Captain Kurotsuchi. We are all well aware of what your capabilities."

Zaraki almost laughed at the emphasis placed on the words. The woman was definitely conveying an delicate insult but if Kurotsuchi said anything, it would only reinforce the earlier proposition that the man was paranoid and had a persecution complex. The man's face darkened and Zaraki decided to intervene. The assistant captain didn't have to fight his battles for him.

"Yeah. You talk like you know what you're doing, but let's see you bend a bow."

The 12th Division Captain turned to him, astounded. "You don't think I can bend a bow without breaking it?"

"Can you?" Zaraki shot back. "Here, try this one." He handed the man the one he'd tried and hadn't broken. "If you have such great control, bend this bow without breaking it."

It might not have been completely fair as he had possibly weakened the bow earlier, but at he didn't care.

Kurotsuchi opened his mouth to protest, but it was apparent he was fighting his urge as his mind calculated the probabilities. His own words had bound him and made it essential that he try to draw the bow that Zaraki was offering.

"Very well," Kurotsuchi said sullenly. He hefted the bow and with care slotted in an arrow. Frowning, he pulled back as he sighted along the shaft, taking aim at the butts. He pulled back further and with a sharp crack the bow broke.

"You weakened it," he squealed as he turned angrily to Zaraki.

Zaraki didn't bother hiding the smile on his face. "You said you know your own strength and how to moderate it."

Ise intervened before the situation could get uglier. "These bows might be faulty. " She nodded at one of the attending Shinigami's. "More bows, stronger ones," she said.

Kurotsuchi was still glaring at Zaraki. "You tried to make me look like a fool."

"I didn't try," Zaraki said, leaving the final part of what he could say unsaid.

A sly chuckle in the back of his mind told him Atonomatsuri had heard and enjoyed the joke. "No, you didn't try, Kenny. You succeeded and he was the one how made himself look like a fool."

For a moment it was almost like Yachiru was talking to him. He felt a small strange warm feeling in the pit of his stomach and realised he had never expected to hear anything approaching admiration in her voice.

The new bows arrived and Ise handed one directly to Zaraki. "Please try this one, Captain."

He took it and exerted a small amount of pull on it. This time the wood did not creak and he pulled a little harder, then a little more. It seemed that these new bows might be able to take a little more punishment before they broke.

"Kenny boy, you might want to remove your eye patch for this," the bird told him. "You'll need both eyes to aim properly. Men in the game are blind to what men looking on see clearly. "

The suggestion made sense or so it seemed. He pulled off his eye patch automatically and then heard a number of people gasp. Why did they always carry on like this when his reiatsu increased? Hell, they should be used to it by now. If they were so weak that they couldn't cope with a small fluctuation, then what use were they as Shinigami? Ise had staggered back and with a slight air of shame moved back, obviously struggling slightly.

"Why have you removed your eye patch, Zaraki?" Kurotsuchi asked rudely. He looked at him, a sneer of contempt twisting his painted mouth. "Trying to impress everyone with your inability to reign in your reiatsu? Even the most recent graduate knows how to do that."

Even Zaraki could tell that the man was trying to anger him. He thought anyone would notice. Couldn't he try a bit of subtlety? When he realised what he was thinking he almost snorted with laughter. He, Zaraki, was thinking of subtlety? When had he ever considered the matter before hand? Had he changed so much due to the bird, or were there other influences at work?

"Answer him, Kenny. Break him apart with words and then with your hands," Atonomatsuri shrilled. "Never let a bad deed go unrewarded."

"Yeah, maybe you're right. But you're mistaking me for someone who gives a damn," he said.

He saw Ise's hand quickly cover her mouth and heard Atonomatsuri ,titter in his mind. That was the reaction he was aiming for. Whether it made the 12th Division Captain angry was a matter if indifference. He was deliberately needling Zaraki and he didn't see why he had to accept it.

"Get on with it, assistant captain. We are here to observe the challenge," Yamamoto was standing behind Ise and had opened his eyes. They quickly swept over Zaraki and then settled on Kurotsuchi as if interested in his reaction.

He heard an angry muffled exclamation and knew that Kurotsuchi was not pleased, but it made him feel like laughing. There was still a kernel of doubt that he would manage to win the archery contest, but at least his opponent wasn't well skilled either.

He picked up the bow again and pulled the string thinking he was exerting the same amount of strength as before. The bow didn't just break this time, it splintered apart with a resounding crack, the shards of wood flying apart. The loud laughter in his mind indicated that Atonomatsuri had witnessed the incident and found it extremely amusing.

"I bet she bloody knew that would happen when I took off the eye patch," he thought. "She did it for her own amusement. I need both eyes to aim but my strength had increased."

"Oh, Kenny. You made my day. He who is an ass and takes himself to be a stag finds his mistake when he comes to leap the ditch. "

Once more he found he couldn't quite understand how relevant the adage was to the situation. There was no ditch he knew about, except the one Kurotsuchi seemed to be digging for himself.

Yamamoto raised his eyebrows and commented, "You only get three bows, Captain. If you break one before the arrow is released, then that will still be counted as an attempt. The same applies to you, Captain Kurotsuchi."

The man made another disgusted sound. Perhaps it was the way he communicated best. It was better than hearing him talk, but then most things were.

"It is unlikely that I would break a bow through the unwarranted display of too much unnecessary might. I know how to exercise control and moderation in all things." Zaraki noticed the emphasis the man placed on his 'I's. That was more subtle than he'd previously shown, but not much. Or maybe it indicated how much emphasis the man placed on himself.

Selecting a new bow he automatically gave the first one he picked up to the other Captain not wishing to hear him argue that Zaraki had taken the bow he wanted. He picked up another one and turned to face Kurotsuchi who was looking at the bow with the same expression he might look at a cockroach. "I don't want a bow you chose for me."

"Choose your own," Zaraki said easily though he felt his jaw tighten as he spoke.

"I will," Kurotsuchi said and threw the bow he's been given to the ground and then chose another. "This is much better than the one you chose."

"Whatever," Zaraki said, bored with the man's antics ."Can we do this now?"

Ise nodded. "If you are both ready. I am certain I do not need to explain the principles of archery to you."

Zaraki had an idea. He knew that Ise and a few of the female Shinigami were adept at using bows and there was nothing wrong with learning through observation. "Would you demonstrate?"

She gave him a startled look, but then nodded. "I can see no harm in that."

She took a bow and selected an arrow then stood the required distance from the target. He watched as she notched the arrow into the string and pulled back with a smooth steady movement. It was easy to see that she was standing in the required position and she 'd angled the bow carefully, looking down the shaft of the arrow, taking careful aim. She released the arrow and the arrow flew gracefully through the air, hitting the bullseye.

A small round of applause greeted her effort and a small, pleased smile appeared briefly on her face. It seemed to Zaraki that Ise liked to receive recognition for her skills, but didn't wish to call attention to them. To do so would be considered impolite.

"You made that look easy," Zaraki told her.

She stared at him disbelievingly, searching his face for some sign that he was making a joke. He kept his face carefully neutral and slowly she nodded her head. "I enjoy practicing. I clear my mind and focus only on the target."

"That's good advice, Kenny. But clearing your mind won't take long, will it. There's not much going on in there anyway."

He had almost expected that type of comment from the bird, and shrugged it off. "Yeah. It's a good thing I don't listen to your advice all the time," he replied dryly.

"Humph. Only fools ignore the advice of sages."

"I didn't know you were a herb," Zaraki flipped back at her without really thinking about it.

"KENNY! Your attempt at humour is not amusing in the slightest," Atonomatsuri shrilled at him.

"I will now toss a coin to see who will take the first shot," Ise said before Zaraki decided if he wanted to reply to Atonomatsuri. "Captain Kurotsuchi you may call."

"Tails," he said firmly as the coin spun in the air.

They watched as the coin landed on the ground, tails showing clearly. Zaraki didn't care. Who went first or last didn't matter, only the results were important.

" I won the toss which indicates I will win the whole competition, he said smugly. "You can give up now, Zaraki. This is definite proof that I will be victorious."

"Yeah, yeah. Believe what you want to," Zaraki said. "Why don't you prove it."

Kurotsuchi stretched hi s mouth in a superior smile. "I will."

Selecting an arrow he strode to the position Ise had taken and prepared to shoot. Before he could complete his shot, Ise interrupted. "I'm sorry, Captain, but as you are a male, it is only correct that you stand further from the target."

"Why?" The man did not move, or lower his bow. It might happen that he would let the arrow loose despite the protest.

"If you do not do so, no matter if you hit a bulls eye, it will not be counted," Ise was in earnest. "We are doing this according to custom and custom dictates that males stand a certain distance from the target. You have to stand here." She walked a number of paces further back from the target and Kurotsuchi reluctantly followed her.

"I can shoot from here? You're not going to change your mind again?" he asked acerbically. The condescension in his tone made Ise wince but she nodded at him politely enough.

"This is the right place." Her voice was tellingly even. She was staring at Yamamoto for assurance and he indicated his agreement.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note

It surprised me when Ise refused to provide the results. Each rewrite had no effect, so it had to be left. While the story is planned out, it sometimes takes me in unexpected directions.

Thanks to: OBSERVER01, Wandering the Arid Sea, Ancestor's Dragon, star's dream, ironjaw, Delightful-Indeed, Naoki00, Master Solo (I had to look up where the lyrics were from as I have never heard that song), Nadie, tanith-4486, TinBuzard (That is kind of you) and Master Hybris for the reviews.

Please review.

MS


	49. Complete Collection

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). _

**Complete Collection**

Kurotsuchi looked at the assembled throng and a weak smile stretched his mouth. "Now you will witness my superiority and adaptability."

Stifling a groan at the man's comments, Zaraki crossed his arms. There was a faint possibility he might make a speech which would not be received well, given the current mood of the crowd. If he did decide to make a speech, he wondered if how much trouble he would be in if he tried to shut him up. Instead of offering the violence he felt well up in him, he said, "Can we get this done? You already made Ise annoyed and she won't announce the results of the last competition."

The look of intense vitriol he received from the 12th Captain made him smile. Looks couldn't kill and the man's hands seemed to quiver as they held the bow. "Keep your mouth shut, Zaraki. Observe and be amazed."

"Amused, more likely," Atonomatsuri quipped.

It was slightly funny, but he suppressed any reply or indication that he'd heard her. Instead of continuing or demanding a reply as expected, she went quiet. Maybe, if it was possible, she had realised that he might hold some resentment against her for her earlier argument regarding the allocation of the items in the challenge. The passing of time convinced him he had not won that particular challenge. Once this stupid archery thing was over, Ise might be persuaded to let everyone know. As it currently stood, it was a constant irritation and he constantly had to harness his anger so it didn't affect him. To aim the stupid bits of wood at the target he would need to remain calm and focused.

Kurotsuchi took a deep breath and exhaled. He did it again. Then he wiped first one hand and then the other of a piece of cloth he pulled from his sleeve while he leant the bow against his leg. The glimmer of perspiration on his forehead indicated why he was wiping his hands and he swiftly and surreptitiously scrubbed at his face while he bent over to pick up the bow once more.

"Here is your arrow, Captain," Ise said handing the 12th Division Captain one arrow.

"I want to choose my own arrows," he said loudly.

"The rules of the competition are clear," Retsu said levelly as she looked up from the papers she was consulting. "The arrow is selected for the competitors so that no additions may be made to them or alterations. You are not suggesting that assistant captain Ise is not capable of choosing an arrow, are you Captain?" The sweet smile she bestowed on the man held a very faint threat behind the gentle humour.

Zaraki was pleased to see the man gulp slightly and stutter a reply, "N....Not at all," and he accepted the arrow reluctantly. Examining it carefully his face a mask of anger and frustration, finally he nodded.

"I want perfect silence," the man announced. "I will now score my first bulls eye."

"Bull," Atonomatsuri commented quietly.

Standing straight, Kurotsuchi nocked the arrow to the strong and pulled back steadily, sighting along the arrow. The audience seemed to hold its breath and then the arrow was released. It flew straight in the air, curving after it reached the zenith of height, descending rapidly until it landed, in the seats behind the target. Striking the wood, it stuck there, quivering from the force of impact.

The burst of laughter from the audience was quickly stifled as the man stood, disbelievingly staring at the arrow.

"He missed!" Atonomatsuri crowed. "You will too Kenny."

"Not if I have anything to do with it," he replied tightly.

Ise spoke quietly to Kurotsuchi who seemed mesmerised by where his arrow had ended up. He ignored her. She touched his shoulder and the contact made him pull away swiftly as his arm reached up to either push her away or cause her some damage. Before any contact could be made, Captain Kyoraku was in the way. "You don't want to do that, Mayuri. I warned you once before about insulting the women of the Seireitei. You hurt my Nanao and I won't make any protest about the consequences."

At first it seemed that there would be the normal angry and egotistical response, but the 12th Division Captain blinked and then looked at where the arrow had landed. "I was shocked. I wouldn't have hurt her." The voice, while seeming conciliatory was not very convincing.

"Captain, I can take care of myself," Ise said stiffly. "Please return to the designated area."

"As you ask so sweetly, Nanao, I will." Before he left, Kyoraku made one more comment to Kurotsuchi. "You're already unpopular. Don't make it easy for everyone to hate you."

Zaraki almost chuckled at the comment. The warning should have been given to the man years earlier. It was typical the Kyoraku believed that the man wasn't universally hated as he tried to be moderate in most things, except his consumption of sake and pursuit of women.

Having recovered her aplomb, Ise motioned to Zaraki. "Your turn, Captain."

"You know the bow is too short for you. You should have a longer bow Kenny boy, given your size," Atonomatsuri said.

"Yeah. I can imagine what would happen if I asked for another bow. Kurotsuchi would throw a fit and I don't want to hear Ise quote the rules at me as to why it won't happen. I'll make do." He'd wondered why the bow felt small in his hands, and in the past lesson with Yachiru he remembered the bow had been larger.

Selecting a new bow he accepted the arrow provided by Ise and stood where Kurotsuchi had taken position. Before he aimed he tried to work out the direction of the breeze as he might need to compensate for any strong air current. He shut his eyes and noticed that the air was relatively still. Opening his eyes he focused on the target and in one swift motion positioned the bow, pulled slowly back as he sighted along the arrow. All the time he kept in mind that the bow would break easily if he applied too much strength. The bow creaked ominously as he released the arrow.

Time slowed as the arrow flew toward the target. For a moment it seemed he too had missed it completely, but it hit the target, at the very edge. Not quite a score, but not a complete loss either.

Noise attracted his attention and he turned to see some of the audience applauding his effort. Yachiru was jumping up and down and waving her arms excitedly at his effort and he smiled at her. She always took such delight in his achievements.

Ise raised her hand and the noise abated. "Please keep your applause until the end. We wish to finish this quickly," she said.

"It was a fluke." The grumble from Kurotsuchi was only to be expected. Although Zaraki had not managed to gain any points from his first shot, it indicated that he might have more chance at winning this challenge.

"Don't count your chickens, Kenny," Atonomatsuri warned.

"Or my vultures," he responded. "I've already got too many."

"Humph. I'm trying to warn you against misplaced pride. If you don't keep trying hard, you might become complacent."

"Not with you around, I won't." Having the bird constantly reminding him of faults, either imagined or real, he had little chance of thinking he could do anything he hadn't tried before.

Kurotsuchi was taking his next shot. Watching closely, Zaraki noticed the quiver in his hands. The man was nervous. Was it because he was worried about shooting an arrow, or failing to hit the target again? The silence indicated everyone was watching intently.

The thrum of the released string, the whistle as the arrow sped through the air and the muffled thud as it landed square in the centre of the bullseye were quiet compared to the yell of triumph that reverberated through the grounds when Kurotsuchi celebrated his achievement. The noise stopped abruptly as the man became aware how the yell might contradict his earlier attempt at being confident and blasé.

"That is how it is done," he simply said loudly, not addressing anyone in particular. "Observe and learn."

Without waiting for any more commentary, Zaraki selected another bow. The one he had used previously might not be able to withstand another attempt and losing one chance in three was not something he would accept.

As he stood, waiting for Ise to hand him the arrow, he waited for the arrow to be removed from the bullseye. The Shinigami then attempted to remove the arrow that he had lodged in the side of the target. As his hand rested on the shaft, he pulled back sharply, but the arrow did not move. He tried again with the same result. The next time, he squared his shoulders, pumped his arms a few times and using both hands tried to pull the arrow out. The result was exactly the same as the previous two times, nothing. In an attempt to save face, he walked over to where Kurotsuchi's first arrow was sticking out of the seat and removed it with ease.

Concealing the grin that threatened to take over his face, Zaraki replaced the bow and walked toward the target. Grasping the arrow, he pulled it from its wedged position with ease and walked back, retrieving his bow. "I'll use the same arrow," he told Ise, "if it's not against the rules."

Her mouth twitched at the sides, but she simply said, "It is your decision as it does not contravene the rules."

This time he made sure that his weight was appropriately shared between his feet as he slowly pulled the string back, feeling the bow bend in his hands. Once more he had to fight the desire to act swiftly as his additional strength seemed to surge the longer the eye patch was removed. Once he was assured his aim was correct and the trajectory might work, he released the arrow.

Again he witnessed the arrow flying in what seemed a very slow speed, gradually approaching the target, not faltering, but as it hit, he noticed it had not reached the bulls eye, but the concentric ring next to it.

Trying to keep his face impassive, he replaced the bow and folded his arms as he waited for some smart comment from either the bird or the clown. They both spoke together.

"Hard luck, Zaraki," Kurotsuchi said with a malicious smile on his face. "Not everything can be fixed with brute strength."

"You failed? You missed the bulls eye? What were you doing? Aim and shoot straight," was Atonomatsuri's contribution. "You're making me look bad."

"Is that possible?" was his instant reply. She was a decomposing Egyptian vulture. The bald head, the straggly feathers the bitter expression, how could she look worse than she already did? Maybe if all her feathers fell out and she was completely pink, instead of predominately black with touches of pink and she phased into the decomposing side permanently she would look worse. His musing was interrupted by Ise commanding Kurotsuchi to prepare for his next shot.

"Why hasn't the arrow been removed?" the man complained. "It will distract me and make it hard for me to focus on hitting the bullseye once more."

Retsu stood and smiled sweetly at the 12th Division Captain. "It is at our discretion that the arrows are removed, Captain. As there only remains one further shot and each of you have gained some confidence, we are permitting the arrows to remain, as is normal in such competitions."

The man subsided, but even the paint on his face could not cover his discomposure of displeasure at being once more thwarted.

"The man needs the experience," Zaraki thought. "He gets his way too often and doesn't know how to accept another person's opinion."

With bad grace the man picked up a bow, not noticing that it was the one Zaraki had discarded previously. For one nanosecond Zaraki thought of telling him, but decided against it. He'd complained about so much and had tried to make it impossible for the competition to be fair. Let him experience what he wished on others.

"The mills of God grind incredibly slow but incredibly small," Atonomatsuri murmured gently in his mind, apparently noticing the lapse in judgement.

Zaraki thought about it. He didn't know if God had mills. What would he grind in them? The bird was clacking her beak together again. It was possible she thought if she spouted enough words he might forget that she'd made him agree with her and thus destroyed his chances in the previous competition.

As he observed the 12th Division Captain stand in the correct place and Ise hand him the arrow, he saw that the woman had noticed the mistake. Her lips had thinned and he was amazed to see a sparkle of amusement in her eyes. Possibly she might tell him, but if she was going to do that, the words would have been spoken by now.

He didn't want to win this by default. The win had to be clearly his. Clearing his throat he said, "Kurotsuchi, you might..."

"Shut up, Zaraki. I don't want any advice or help from you," the man cut in. "I know you're trying to distract me."

"That bow...," Zaraki tried again.

"I'm using it and I don't need your permission. If you say one more word before I take my final shot it will be evident to everyone here that you're attempting to sabotage me," was the heated interjection.

Zaraki shrugged. If the man wasn't prepared to listen, then he wouldn't try to help.

It was amusing the watch the man puff himself up as he stood as tall as he could, which was considerably shorter than Zaraki and then he squared his shoulders and struck an obvious pose as the bow was aimed and the string pulled.

To increase the tension, or make his moment last longer, he took some time to set up the shot. Watching sharply, it was obvious to Zaraki when the bow began to suffer. Kurotsuchi wasn't watching, his eyes set on the target.

"How come he doesn't notice?" he asked himself. "He must feel that it will break."

The second before the 12th Division Captain let the arrow loose, the bow sagged, not breaking, but losing its cohesion. The arrow had a little of the impetus from the bow and flew briefly through the air to land a long distance from the target.

The crowd went silent, waiting for a reaction. Kurotsuchi stared at the bow and then looked at Zaraki. Dropping the bow, he turned to Ise and asked, "That will count?"

A stir went through the people watching. Obviously there had been an expectation that the man would complain or create yet another scene, but his shoulders were now slumped. No one could possibly ignore the words of warning that had tried to be conveyed to him, which he had ignored. There was no person to whom he could allocate blame without appearing a bigger fool than he already seemed.

"I'm sorry, Captain, but the arrow was released. You had your three shots as required within the rules," her reply was not as harsh as expected.

He simply nodded.

"Say something, Zaraki. Now's your chance to say something crushing. Strike while the iron is hot," Atonomatsuri urged.

Not wishing to reply Zaraki simply went and selected his bow. What could he say that would humiliate the man even further? He'd made claims in front of a large audience of subordinates and then failed spectacularly. It was too easy to say cruel words to a person who was already cursing their folly. He preferred a fair fight when he would win through his own effort, not take advantage of an easy win.

Knowing which bows he had already used meant he could avoid them. The one he selected looked very much like the others and hefting it, he accepted the arrow provided by Ise and stood in place. He knew he could win this. Kurotsuchi might have hit the bulls eye, but it was the only score he'd received. If he could line up the shot to match his previous one he would get a score that would beat the Science Nazi. To do that would be a better revenge than flinging some puerile words around.

He looked along the arrow and the tilted the bow up slightly and pulled back on the string. Force was necessary so that it would reach, but it was still a delicate adjustment to make certain that the bow remained intact until the arrow was in flight. After that he didn't care if the thing burst into flames or turned into toothpicks. He would be done with archery.

Judging his moment he angled the bow once more, trying to guess how the arrow would fly through the air. As the string reverberated from the arrow's release, he watched the piece of wood fly through the air. It seemed to waver, which could only be an optical illusion, but then it finally hit the target, in the middle of the bullseye before the target went flying into the seats behind it propelled from the force of the shot.

Cheers erupted from the onlookers immediately, with a few unintelligible comments being called out. Zaraki relaxed his shoulders and looked at the target. Maybe archery wasn't a complete waste of time, but it would never replace the feel of the shock racing from blade to hand to arm to shoulder as it connected with the flesh and bone of an opponent. Still, this didn't convince him that the Quincy kid was an opponent to be considered. Perhaps it explained how the kid had defeated Kurotsuchi, but it wasn't important.

He turned and looked at the judges who were conferring. They beckoned Ise over and spoke to her briefly and she nodded in reply.

As she returned to the centre of the area, the crow quietened. "It will be no surprise to you that Captain Kenpachi Zaraki has won this challenge. Both Captains hit the bullseye, so the decision was made that the highest score would determine the winner."

There were one or two unhappy faces he could notice, but the majority of the audience seemed pleased with the outcome.

"The judges have requested that I release the rest of the results for the previous competition before we move onto the next event. I have agreed as long as there are no further interruptions," Ise continued.

Silence quickly fell on the crowd and Zaraki squared his shoulders. He was damned sure that due to the bird's intervention he'd got a few more of those wrong, but he'd prefer to know now rather than be forced to think about it.

A small smile on her face, Ise commenced revealing the next Captain's ownership. "The scroll, which displays the prized calligraphy of a great master belongs to Captain Komamura from Seventh Division. One thing that is very unique about this scroll is it is double sided. On the side which is visible is the saying: "Who offends writes on sand; who is offended, on marble." The other side has, in smaller but no less beautiful writing, is an observation: "Wisdom is more important than knowledge." This has been cleverly hidden by being written on the back of the larger characters."

"What's the difference," Zaraki thought. "Wisdom, knowledge. They're the same thing."

"No they're not Kenny. Lots of people know things, but don't know what to do with that information."

Atonomatsuri seemed very keen to point this out to him. It was probably because she thought he had knowledge but wasn't wise whereas she was certain she possessed both.

"So?

"A wise person can deduce things from information and draw conclusions." The bird sounded very sure of herself and once more appeared to be boasting.

"Or make bigger mistakes," he muttered under his breath.

The absence of reply satisfied him that the bird had taken notice of his implied reprimand.

Kurotsuchi was now standing beside Zaraki and hissed through his teeth at the explanation. Did that mean he knew about this and was bored with the explanation, or he wanted Ise to hurry?

As she was naming the owners by their Divisions he knew that Kyoraku was next. Did he own the cushion?

She glanced at the list she was holding and an expression of combined amusement and shame crossed her face. "The, um, red cushion," she began.

Zaraki smiled. He couldn't help it. The cushion was in the shape of lips and the woman didn't want to mention it. It was possible that her sensibilities marked it as improper also, or she had given it to the Captain as a strange mark of esteem. Not knowing the truth didn't matter.

"Belongs to Captain Kyoraku," she said hastily.

The crowd murmured quietly in the background and he heard some stifled laughter. It was possible the man had deliberately chosen to embarrass his second in command with his choice, but it was extremely unlikely, given the way he had requested Zaraki to stop swearing and his defence of her against Kurotsuchi. Or he was teasing her gently.

Then he realised he'd guessed the last two owners correctly . That meant he had six out of eight which wasn't bad, but it could have been better. There were only three left and he was pretty certain that after following Atonomatsuri's suggestion, he'd made some wrong decisions. No point in worrying about it. If he didn't win this one, he'd make damned certain that nothing would prevent him from winning most of the others.

Ise waited for the crowd to settle, which it quickly did. "The coin belongs to assistant Captain Hisagi."

Another one to add to the list. Briefly he wondered where he'd obtained the coin, and why, but it wasn't important.

"I told you to look closely. You only got that right because of me." The confidence the bird tried to convey was not very strong and it was clear she was trying to remind of her assistance rather than her errors.

Looking around the spectators he noticed some were smiling while others looked doleful. Trying to guess the owners of objects had been hard when close up, but trying to do it from a distance, even if you had a picture of the object would be harder. Some of the answers had made him more curious about the people with whom he served on the Gotei 13, but not much.

"Those people who had sharp eyes would notice that there was some very small writing on the fan which was a very clear hint as to who owned the fan. It was decided that at least one of the contributions should be easy to guess and Captain Hitsugaya kindly submitted the fan."

Many of the people in the audience smiled happily. It had been very easy and Zaraki had wondered about it at the time.

Only one left and he knew for certain he was wrong. Ukitake owned the swords. The matched pair of swords displayed with such pride belonged to him, and not Fon as Atonomatsuri had assured him.

Ise was finishing up now. "This, of course means that Captain Ukitake owns the splendidly preserved and displayed samurai swords. I would like to thank the Captains and Assistant Captains for assisting us by providing carefully chosen objects." She bowed towards the Captains and their subordinates.

"Eight out of eleven," Zaraki thought and then a new recognition came to him. Without knowing why, he'd chosen each owner correctly. If he had made the bird stop poking in her beak the chances of him winning now would be so much greater, but as it was it seemed unlikely that Kurotsuchi would have made as many mistakes. If he'd had the vulture for a spirit he'd have ignored every word she spoke. Maybe that was a valuable lesson Zaraki could learn.

The Old Man was now standing beside Ise. Silence fell immediately and he quirked a brow. "The winner of the competition," he began and Zaraki almost held his breath, "with an outstanding score of nine out of eleven."

"Better score than me," Zaraki cursed inwardly and pointedly. "Blast it. Kurotsuchi won!"

"Is from Fourth Division."

Zaraki heard that and stopped swearing at Atonomatsuri. "Fourth Division? What's the Old Man talking about? It has to be Eleventh or Twelfth Division. We're the only people unfortunate or dumb enough to get involved in this joke."

"Yasochika Iemura has won the grand prize of a complete collection of the Shinigami Dolls that were illegally on sale," Captain Yamamoto finished.

Iemura immediately stood and looking very pleased went to collect his prize.

"That was the prize? Dolls? Why were dolls the prize? Where did the Old Man get a complete set of them and why was anyone interested in getting them? Has everyone become infected with Atonomatsuri's decaying brain so they can't think straight? Dolls!" Astonishment was not the only emotion that swept through Zaraki at this announcement.

"As they are a valuable collector's item, they will increase in value over time." Yamamoto continued.

"Yeah, sure. And my vulture will turn into a canary who can sing and won't speak in adages," were the bitter thoughts that greeted the explanation.

"Captain Fon will announce the results of the main event now," Yamamoto said.

Despite her height, the Captain strode impressively into the middle of the arena, standing next to Ise who was considerably taller. In spite of this, her strong personality made every eye rest on her as she took the paper Ise held out to her. She glanced at it briefly, nodded and then said, "It's not as close as I expected. Captain Zaraki won this challenge by three points."

The crowd roared "Zaraki! Zaraki! Zaraki" and it was only that which convinced the Captain that he had not misheard. Three points difference? That meant that Kurotsuchi had only chosen five correctly. It was normal to wonder which ones he had guessed, but not important.

"As these events took less time than anticipated, we will move onto the next challenge after a short break," Ise announced. "Please return to your seats within 20 minutes.

Did that mean they'd have a break too? He wouldn't mind some water to quench the thirst that had commenced during the archery competition. And a break from the sun would be good. Maybe he'd ask Ibe the name of the place that sold sunglasses. Then he decided there'd be little point as he wore the eye patch most of the time.

"Come with me, please," a small lisping voice requested. "It is my honour to serve you some Afternoon Tea," Hanatoro bowed politely.

Another challenge. While mildly piqued, Zaraki found he was also pleased. The more of these that could be completed in one day, the sooner everything could return to some form of normality.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

The bows used in the archery competition are yumis (Japanese bows). To be specific they are the Gohonhigo (Higoyumi) which is made of bamboo and wood and developed during the 16th century. While it is clear that there should have been different bow lengths for Zaraki and Kurotsuchi, it was more fun to make them use the same length of a Yosun-nobi (made for a person 180-195cm in height) which would be too small for Zaraki. This explains why he destroyed them so quickly.

My knowledge or archery is small and was stretched considerably to write this chapter, so any mistakes or inconsistencies I will blame on Atonomatsuri. Plus Japanese Archery is an art and as there is The Way of the Sword: Kendo, there is also The Way of the Bow: Kyudo. It is different to Western Archery but to do adequate research would mean I was taking this story way too seriously. Thanks to the un-named friend who helped me out.

Thanks to Evil Clone Number 7; Ancestor's Dragon; Condor green (I'll try to update faster); OBSERVER01; melgar (the answers are above); TinBuzzard (thanks); ironjaw; Wandering the Arid Sea (Atonomatsuri created herself. Now we have to live with the consequences); AmberFox and Lyell (Atonomatsuri is similar to an ancient *sic* Egyptian vulture; Magus Black; TanithLipsky; Hollify666; Cezar (thanks) for their reviews of the last chapter.

Please review. As it's my birthday this month, nice reviews might count as presents.

MS


	50. Sleepless in Seireitei

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. None. _

**Sleepless in Seireitei**

Letting the food and drink occupy his attention, he didn't bother to answer Kurotsuchi's few words which were less than complimentary. So far he'd won three out of three of the challenges. It was good, but the first had been more a win by default and did not reflect on any particular talent or success he'd had.

All the same, to get three challenges out of the way in one day would be to his taste.

Idly his mind began to wonder who had thought up the competitions so far. He hadn't expected any of them, but the archery had been the best. It called on his skill and strength and he didn't need the birds help, much. A grimace crossed his face as he recalled that the bird had led him into making mistakes. Even if he said anything about it, she'd turn the subject back to him and his flaws. In that way she was like any woman. Ready to explore the mistakes of others but unprepared to acknowledge her own.

In spite of it, he felt a measure of relief to know that she was as imperfect as he was. Until now her self assurance coupled with certain knowledge had always made him inclined to accept her words as true. Now he knew she was capable of mistakes, not that she would ever admit to it.

"Captain Zaraki, would you come with me, please? You are permitted to have a short rest before the next challenge." Hanatoro's hesitant voice broke through his thoughts and he found he was staring at the face of the man.

"Yeah? Great. I could do with a stretch and I don't mean a bow," he tried to joke, but even to his own ears it fell flat.

The 4th Division officer tried to smile but didn't manage it. "This way."

He led the way into a room that was a little way removed from the place they'd eaten. He hadn't noticed what he'd eaten but was pretty sure it wasn't natto as he couldn't recall cutting the strings of the fermented bean. Running his tongue over his teeth he thought he detected the fading flavours of meat, rice and vegetables, but it didn't matter. His stomach was full, his throat wasn't dry.

Hanatoro indicated the facilities and Zaraki used them while he mused over the next difficulty he might have to face. As long as he didn't have to sew or wrap a present, he wasn't too worried. Or arrange flowers, or decorate a room.

The longer he considered the matter the more things he unearthed new activities that would not be to his taste at all. If he was asked to do that damn paper folding, he'd be in trouble. His fingers didn't like to do delicate work, except for fastening the bells to his hair and that took a long time. No one would suggest they do origami, would they? He'd prefer to try flower arranging. At least he knew you stuck flowers in a vase and tried to make it look like an alien sculpture then some people might be fooled into believing it was art. Sure, no one ever said it looked like a mess or something that only an alien, or Hollow would like, but that's what it looked like to him. Bits of driftwood and one flower. Spiky, ugly and possibly dangerous. How did you know if the plant was poisonous? Not that he'd ever be tempted to eat a flower, unless it seemed like a good idea at the time, but even then it was doubtful. Flowers didn't taste good or the few he'd tried to eat when he was poor and hungry hadn't tasted appetising at all.

If some fool determined they had to do flower arranging, he'd like to use Kurotsuchi's head as the vase and shove the flowers in his nose, mouth and ears. Who gave a damn if it was aesthetically pleasing? It would make him happy and would be a good way of silencing the man while giving him a useful purpose. The problem was, he was pretty sure he wouldn't be allowed to do it.

He was ushered to another room which contained Yachiru, Madarame and Ayasegawa, 4 chairs, a table and some drinks. "The Captain Commander has given both of you leave to provide instruction to your subordinates while you are absent," Hanatoro explained before he left.

There was a moments silence as he looked quizzically at the three people facing him. Had they checked for bugs. A small nod indicated that Madarame knew what he was thinking and another nod indicated the room was not safe for normal conversation.

"How's Piecrust?" he asked, hoping for a reply that would indicate the level of communication they could use.

"For some reason, he's nearly recovered. I think Captain Unohana must be using some advanced healing technique. The Old Man asked to see him earlier. You might want to sit down for a while, Captain," Madarame said.

A slew of ideas raced through Zaraki's mind and he sat and shifted until he was comfortable. Pouring a cup of tea he scowled, when he realised it wasn't sake, but drank it anyway. Was the Old Man going to interfere and tell the jerk about his parentage? Even if he did, what would Piecrust do about it? Challenge him and then fall on his own blade by accident? Start to talk to him, become scared and then swallow his tongue? These ideas appealed to him. Two problems solved at once, but it wouldn't happen.

"Ken-chan, do you have anything you want me to do?" Yachiru grinned at him and he tried to guess her meaning.

Until these challenges were over, there was no point in trying to do much. On reflection, there was one thing he wanted done. "Keep a guard on Piecrust so you won't try and kill him again." He drank another cup of tea.

Yachiru pouted slightly. "I won't. The two times I've tried haven't been any fun."

Hearing this made Zaraki feel like sighing. Having been in contact with other people made him recognise that not everyone believed that either killing or fighting were fun. They liked other things, and looked down on his simple pleasures. Women in particular, aside from one or two didn't seem to like fighting and made him realise that he'd raised Yachiru to share his preferences.. Nothing had been said. Who'd be dumb enough to make any comments to him about Yachiru? Or to her? Why interfere in a situation where the people were happy and doing no harm to anyone?

All the same, he guessed what some people were thinking.

Yachiru was female and maybe she shouldn't find amusement in fighting. Not that attacking Piecrust could even be considered as fighting or mildly entertaining. He knew she liked watching him fight, and rarely participated, but recently she had been displaying more interest. Retsu might not approve, but maybe Soi would.

The Second Division Captain seemed like a woman who would not turn down an opportunity to stretch her muscles by attacking an enemy. All these women belonged to the Seireitei and their duty was to destroy Hollows. Fighting was one of the things they were taught at the Academy. What did it matter? Yachiru had fun, more fun than the boy Captain who was always frowning and scolding his second in command. She happily fitted into Eleventh Division and he liked having her around. She was more damn fun than the blasted vulture and made him laugh.

"Ken-chan, are you even listening to me or are you talking to 'Suri?" Yachiru's hand was on his arm and her eyes observed him inquisitively.

He shuddered, not from her touch, but at her assumption. Talking to the bird was the last thing he wanted to do while other people were around. There would be time when these challenges were over and they would talk. No, he would talk and the bird could freaking listen without clacking her beak and uttering stupid sayings. Maybe he'd make her appear and use something to wrap around her head securing her bill so her only choice was to listen.

"I'm not talking to the bird," was the quickest reply and needed no embellishment.

"Captain Zaraki, we have to tell you about the next challenge," Madarame sounded like he didn't wish to be the person imparting this information.

It struck Zaraki as odd. Until now each of the challenges had been announced to everyone. This conversation indicated a different type of competition and there would be some detail tipping the balance. "So, tell," he said.

Madarame's face became even more serious. "Each Captain has the right to refuse to do this one. If one of you declines, the other is declared the winner."

Immediately, Zaraki opened his mouth to accept the challenge but Yachiru yanked on his hand. "Don't interrupt. Baldy has a lot more to say."

"Why aren't you telling me this?" was the logical question.

Yachiru smiled at him, her eyes alight with mischief. "Baldy does it so much better. See; he looks sincere."

Madarame's forehead wrinkled as he stared at his senior officer. "I am sincere," he snarled and then as if recognising whom he was addressing his forehead beaded with sweat and he gulped noticeably. "I am sincere, Assistant Captain. This is important information." The apology in his tone could not be ignored.

A moment of tension engulfed the room. All eyes were on Yachiru to see her reaction. For a tiny space a storm of anger appeared in her eyes but then a rather malicious smile formed on her mouth and she leapt onto the third seats shoulder, running her palm over his bald pate. She then licked her hand and ran it over his head again and the man jerked with revulsion when he realised what she'd done.

"Assistant Captain," he protested. "That's gross."

The chuckle that erupted from Yachiru's throat indicated she had obtained the reaction she was seeking. "Sincere Baldy. Who would have expected it?"

While he enjoyed the joking around, he wanted to hear the rest of it. "And the other stuff?"

"It will take all night, Captain. You won't be allowed to sleep."

No sleep. He shrugged, unimpressed. What did it matter if he lost one night of sleep. Before he'd met Yachiru many nights had been spent sleeplessly staring at the sky, wondering when the next attack might happen.

"The first person to be seen to sleep or fail at one of the tasks set them, will lose."

There were tasks? Not having sleep and then being given tasks. There were some seriously warped people in the Seireitei.

"What sort of tasks and which creep thought this up?" His lips were not relaxed and it showed in his voice.

Madarame exchanged concerned glasses with Ayasegawa and Yachiru. The fifth seat smiled carefully and explained, "Simple, repetitive tasks."

It didn't escape Zaraki's notice that the second question remained unanswered. After this debacle was over, the question might never be answered, not that it mattered and he'd be more interested in getting involved in a long difficult fight against a decent opponent. If it ended in his death, too bad. Better than dying bored in bed.

"Simple?"

He tried to think of simple tasks that could be repeated over and over again. Polishing zanpakuto's was simple and if Atonomatsuri had her way it would be repeated often. Having some experience in these competitions, he doubted it would be something as normal and easy as that.

"Simple, um, domestic tasks," Ayasegawa's voice had lowered considerably.

The giggles that erupted from Yachiru provided further explanation of why she'd asked her subordinates to provide this information. Her face wouldn't have stayed straight and her laughter might have made it difficult to understand what she was saying. Also she liked watching his face when he was given news that wasn't what he wished to hear. He'd hear all the details about which expressions she noticed later, but it didn't matter. Her retelling of events were always funny and usually made him laugh and give into further demands for sweets.

Then he concentrated on the gist of the words. Domestic tasks. Domestic. Whether they were simple or not wasn't the point. "Example?" The question sounded forced, but it had to be asked.

'Ironing, peeling vegetables, cleaning silver, washing, chopping wood..." Madarame's voice trailed off as Zaraki's expression became more incredulous.

He didn't believe this! This wasn't a challenge! It was an attempt to humiliate him! At the same time he was certain that Kurotsuchi would refuse to do anything domestic.

Of course. That was why the offer to refuse the challenge had been made. He wasn't going to accept it and he'd do the bloody challenge. Humiliation was only something he could feel, but it didn't need to show. The he wondered how much money the Old Man was going to make from this. It would appeal to many Shinigami to watch him do tasks better suited to females, or servants. Then again he'd never seen Yachiru do any of those things. He smiled at the thought of his second in command ironing anything. There would be more holes than fabric left.

That led to thinking about performing the task himself. Instead of letting his face relax into the frown that threatened, he smiled even wider.

"It doesn't matter. I'll do it. Losing sleep: who hasn't done that. It'd be more fun if I could fight instead of doing piddly little tasks." He let his voice deepen as he spoke. Agreeing to participate in the whole thing was taking him outside his comfort zone, but that didn't worry him as much as it once would. Atonomatsuri had already started to process of making him act in a different way to new challenges and information.

Almost, for a very short time, he felt a tiny amount of gratitude to the bird. Then the gratitude vanished when he acknowledged that she had put in motion many of the events he was now trying to sort through.

Mentally and physically he shrugged. Couldn't change the present anymore than he could predict the future.

"Are you sure Captain Zaraki? Once you have agreed you have to remain awake until one of you loses." Madarame was earnest, but then he smiled widely. "Yeah, what am I saying? Of course you'll do it and win."

Zaraki laughed. It was good to see his third seat realise how serious he was behaving and that it didn't suit his character at all.

"I was told I had to be serious," Madarame admitted sheepishly. He gave a rueful smile and scratched his ear thoughtfully. "Dizzy Ise insisted."

Yachiru nodded and chuckled. "She did. The expression on Baldy's face was so funny Ken-chan. He gulped and I wondered if he was going to be rude, but he wasn't."

Ayasegawa gave her a stern look. "What would be the point?"

Pre-empting the bickering that was certain to follow, Zaraki said quickly, "I'll do the bloody thing. Let's get started."

"You'll be standing the whole time, unless the task requires you to sit," was another condition added as a near afterthought by Madarame.

Standing, sleep deprivation and domestic tasks. Could this get any better? An image of being forced to slow dance with Kurotsuchi flashed through his mind. Immediately he shut his eyes, trying to block that image and any that might follow it. He didn't know why, but he was damned certain that the bird had sent him that image to remind him that if he thought things were bad, they could always get worse. She'd say something like that too.

"Yeah. Doesn't matter."

Yachiru bounced to the door in order to answer the insistent tapping that had been occurring for the last few minutes. "Go away. We're talking," she said as she opened the door.

"It's time. Does Captain Zaraki wish to participate," asked the deep and unidentified voice of the person, he assumed had been tapping at the door.

"Of course Ken-chan is going to do it," Yachiru tilted her face and glared up at the person who'd asked the question.

"In 5 minutes he will walk out, unaccompanied and submit to the next challenge." The door shut and Zaraki heard the muffled sounds of a footfalls moving down the corridor.

"I'll wash my face," he said as he stood and stretched. "Might help me stay awake."

Making sure the water was as cold as he could get it, he splashed his face repeatedly. Standing while trying to stay awake. If the challenge had called for sitting or lying down, it would be more difficult, but standing meant remaining upright. Perhaps he could lean against a wall, and watching the people in the crowd and listening to the noise they made..

He glared at his face in the mirror and then barred his teeth in a ferocious smile. Many of his opponents became uncertain and less confident when they say his smile. Not that it would scare small children, but it freaked out any fool desperate enough to think they could beat him in a fight. Why not smile? Fighting was fun, if you knew how to do it properly.

Smile in place he left and walked back into the place he had spent a majority of the day. He was pleased to see the sun was no longer directly overhead. The watching Shinigami shifted and murmured to each other and he noticed all the seating was occupied. Not only that, but people were standing and he could see others trying to gain entry. There were a number of enterprising people moving through the crowd. Zaraki expected they were selling food and drink, but some of the items he could see looked like neither. In fact one person looked vaguely familiar and the strangely shaped objects looked suspiciously like...

Dolls.

It couldn't be right. No one would be selling that unless the Old Man had given permission, which he might if he was getting a cut of the profits. Once this was over he'd ask the hard questions and demand answers. Sure, the Seireitei had taken considerable damage and money was required for the rebuilding, but it seemed that the man was entering into a variety of enterprises to make money.

Ise nodded at him and then with noticeably less enthusiasm to Kurotsuchi. She announced, "Both Captains have agreed to participate in the challenge. Those Shinigami who have purchased tickets for this event were informed at the time of purchase that they ticket is only good for four hours and once that four hours is finished, another ticket may be bought, but it will be necessary to leave the venue."

Tickets? Tickets were being sold? The news almost made him laugh, and in some strange way caused mixed feelings within him. He admired the schem; it was one he'd probably never have considered, but at the same time the cost seemed to cheapen the challenge. He was here to prove that Kurotsuchi was the scum that he knew him to be, but the honour seemed blurred by using it as both entertainment and a reason to collect money.

"No refunds for any time if the challenge finishes before you may use your ticket." There were audible grumbles at that part of the announcement.

Ise waited, her face impassive until all were silent. "The challenge is sleep deprivation. Both Captains will be standing and intermittently given some simple but repetitive tasks."

It was a small struggle to keep the smile on his face at that reminder, but then he recognised how unimportant it was. If anyone thought less of him because he did something he'd never done before, or if they found it amusing, how could it affect him? Anyone who underestimated him usually ended up learning a valuable lesson, or dead, or both.

"The challenge commences now."

Zaraki stood there. That was all he was required to do. It didn't matter if he moved, because no one told him that it wasn't permitted, but it seemed like the rules might specify standing still for a certain percentage of the time. Were the tasks meant to keep them awake, or not? Or had someone worked out that repeating the same thing over and over again would make it more difficult to stay awake? Or was it designed to drag the whole thing out and get more money.

He wanted to shut his eyes, but decided against it. The idea was to stay awake, not begin falling asleep as soon as the challenge commenced, but what should he look at or do? Staring at the crowd didn't interest him as it might encourage people to stare back, not that they needed much encouragement. Once again he wondered who had thought up this crazy challenge and what it was meant to prove. Standing around didn't suit him. He didn't mind lying around and napping or walking or fighting, but standing still seemed wrong. Inactivity unless it involved sleeping was foreign to him, but he'd been forced into doing nothing a number of times since he first uttered Atonomatsuri's name.

"Do you want to talk, Kenny boy?" the bird said as soon as he thought of her.

His shoulders lifted in a sigh, but then he considered that she might actually be trying to be helpful. While the idea seemed odd, he was still harbouring a large amount of resentment that her persistence had almost caused him to lose the guessing challenge. Soifon had not owned the swords. What did he expect? Vultures had some amazing insight into human nature? Instead of meekly agreeing he should have argued with her, not taking the easy way out. Or had he done as he was sick of hearing her voice and damned adages?

Now he was pretty well trapped. If he didn't talk to her he might end up sleeping and lose the challenge before it had really commenced. The main problem was he did feel tired. There were all sorts of explanations as to why he might be tired that floated through his mind but knowing the reasons didn't change the fact. He was tired, he had to stay awake and standing around waiting for something to happen wasn't of any assistance.

"Yeah, let's talk. Do you want to talk about your mistakes?"

The bird coughed slightly. "I wouldn't call them mistakes as much as errors of judgement. No one is perfect."

Quibbling over meanings and then adding adages. Typical Atonomatsuri talk. "They were bloody large mistakes and you give the impression you think you're perfect." Why be gentle with her feelings? She didn't consider that he had any.

Another cough. Was she pretending she had a cold? "I'm not perfect, Kenny, but I am more cognisant of facts than you are."

Yet another big word that he didn't understand. Was she saying that she was more aware of facts, or what? If she was saying that it was going to take a long time to convince her she was wrong. Then again, what else did he need to do aside from stand there until he had to do something he knew he might find marginally more interesting?

"Facts? Then why did you get so many wrong?" There was little point in being anything but blunt with her.

The silence might indicate she was angry or searching for an answer. He didn't say anything, waiting for her to try to turn the situation around as she normally did, placing him in the wrong. Shifting on his feet he glanced around at the audience. Were they finding this as boring as he was? What entertainment could be gained from watching two people stand still? A number of people were buying pieces of paper from the vendors and then scribbling on them briefly before returning them. Recalling the guessing challenge, he wondered if they were guessing how long this challenge would last and who would sleep first.

When this was over he might demand a cut of the profits. It would help pay for the redecoration of his office, especially the screen that Ayasegawa insisted he buy. And if he had to ante up to pay for either of his subordinates to holiday in the Human world, that wouldn't come cheap. It relieved him from the tedium of paperwork, which made it worthwhile, but as he was being used in order to raise money, there should be some financial reward. The prize for this challenge might prove interesting as well as it was unlikely to be the dolls again. Knowing the crowd and seeing the intense observation that some of those buying the pieces of paper gave him and Kurotsuchi indicated it might be something he'd want as well.

Turning his attention to a mumbled whisper at the back of his mind he almost caught part of a word. "Re." What did that syllable mean?

"Huh? What'd you say, vulture?"

"Nothing," was the hasty reply.

"Yeah, you did say something. I know you did." He made his tone flat and loaded with authority. The chance that it might work on the bird was slim, but she might be feeling some slight responsibility for almost making him lose the challenge. Then again, since he'd first started talking to him it seemed that everything that went wrong she automatically blamed on him.

"Nothing!" Atonomatsuri's voice rose sharply and the word shrilled through his brain.

"Re," he mused letting her know he'd heard part of the word. "What words end with 're. Hurry. Possibly something ending with 'y'."

A hard 'tchah' sound was her reply.

As he thought about it a little longer, a small but pleased smile appeared on his face. It was likely she wouldn't repeat what she'd said, but the only word that fit the situation and would embarrass her to this extent was: 'Sorry'.

Atonomatsuri might have apologised to him.

Believing he might have the upper hand for a change he pushed it. "Did you say 'Sorry'?"

The false laugh wasn't terribly convincing. "Why would I ever say sorry to you Kenny? You tortured me for years for no reason except you were too stupid to try to talk to me."

The sigh that lifted his chest made him pause and then realise she was once more trying to distract him from something close to the truth by reminding him of her supposed bruised feelings. "The past. Why are you still talking about it?"

He'd let her draw him into it a little and then work it around to her apology.

"The past is always with us, Kenny. The past is the future of the present," the last words were delivered with deep sincerity.

For a moment he was certain his eyes had whirled around in his head as he tried to work out the meaning of that wonderful mix of words. The past was the past, the present was the present and the future was the future. How could the past become the future? It made no sense. Where had the bird got that particular adage from?

"It's a Japanese proverb, Kenny. Are you sure you didn't grow up hearing that over and... Of course you don't remember. You don't remember being a Hollow."

The bird was clever, but he was beginning to see the way she worked. When she didn't want to talk or admit to something she'd remind him of a wrong or a fact that he had trouble accepting. She must be pretty desperate to hide the apology. He wasn't going to permit the Hollow taunt to distract him this time.

"You made a few mistakes, Atonomatsuri. We both know it. Can't open your beak to apologise for almost screwing everything up?"

"How often have you said sorry to me, Zaraki?"

The question hung in the air, almost visible. The use of his name wasn't lost on him, nor the truth in her question.

It was his turn to be quiet as he pondered a reply.

Words flitted through his mind, explanations, justifications, insults. None of them seemed to work for this situation. Seeking a way to respond without admitting to any guilt or mistake wasn't easy.

A voice seemed to be calling his name. Roused from his unpleasant thoughts, he looked down at Ise who seemed to be trying to get his attention.

"Captain Zaraki, were you sleeping?"

"I was thinking. What's the problem?"

"It is time to commence the first task. If you hadn't answered me when you did, you would have been judged to be sleeping," Ise looked at him sternly.

"Were my eyes closed?" He may as well make a point.

"Well, no, but you didn't seem to be aware that I was talking to you." Ise had the grace to look slightly embarrassed at the admission. It might appear that she wasn't accustomed to being ignored when she spoke.

Instead of going down the explanation path he quickly asked, "What's the task?" He noticed Kurotsuchi looked interested in the answer.

Instead of replying, Ise indicated that they should follow her which they did. In front of them were two tables with a container standing on it and a large bucket next to it, apparently containing water. On looking into the container, Zaraki noticed it seemed to hold rice. Lifting his eyes from the rice he glanced questioningly at Ise.

"You have to wash the rice thoroughly, removing as much starch as possible," Ise explained. "You can only use the water in the bucket provided and once that has run out, it will not be replaced."

This was one task he hadn't considered. Washing rice was repetitive if it was done properly. Swirling the water through the rice might work, but he had some idea that it might help if he stirred it, or something. Whenever he'd cooked rice he'd washed it only briefly, not caring about how much starch remained. It was food, fuel for the body and his fighting would work it off and he'd reasoned that Yachiru needed as much food as she could get while she was growing up.

"Start now please. The task will be ended when either of you has finished washing the rice to the satisfaction of the judges."

It was then Zaraki realised he didn't know the judges were this time. He glanced at the table and saw three people seated there. One was the Old Man, Kuchiki sat next to him with the usual indifferent look plastered all over his face and the third was the 10th Division assistant captain who seemed to be looking at her friends in the audience rather than the contestants she was meant to be judging.

Pouring water into the rice he let it run through his fingers. The cool touch of the liquid made him start and wish he could splash it on his face. Instead he decided that each time he changed the water, it was necessary to experience its refreshing qualities, even if it was only on his hands.

"As it's the first wash, Kenny, why don't you use your hands to help wash the rice. The woman said nothing about that, did she?" He started slightly as the sound of the bird's voice. After her last comment it had been his assumption that she might stop talking to him until he offered an apology. What plan was her diseased mind pondering at this point?

She was right though. Handling the rice in the first wash might release more of the starch than simply swirling the rice through the water and subsequent washes would remove any trace of his hands. Enthusiastically he ran his hands through the rice and water, not caring if he splashed his clothes.

"Assistant Captain Ise, I complain about how my, ahem, competitor is handling the rice. We're not supposed to touch it," Kurotsuchi spoke loudly, with a fair amount of venom contained in his voice.

Moving his gaze to look at the judges and the woman, he noticed them all consult the sheafs of paper placed before them. A few words were exchanged between the Old Man and Kuchiki, while Assistant Captain Matsumoto ran one hand through her hair as she turned the pages. Ise approached them and after a short discussion they all bowed to each other.

"There is no clear prohibition in the rules. The judges have agreed that only the first two washes may involve hands. We are obtaining wooden spoons to assist in agitating the rice for future washes." Ise was quite serious, yet a slight difference in tone indicated her probable amusement.

The smile he'd worn as he began this challenge returned. It was funny. Two man standing around while people watched, then the same men washing rice with the audience still watching. As entertainment it lacked something. Action?

The water had restored him and looking at the water he noticed it was now extremely cloudy from the starch he's separated from the rice. Carefully he drained the water, then added some more clear water, but half as much as he had last time. Surreptitiously, and after he'd made certain that both Ise, the judges and Kurotsuchi weren't looking in his direction, he rubbed his wet hands across his face. If anyone noticed they didn't make a fuss.

The task dragged on. Washing the rice, draining the cloudy water, and refilling. It was tedious, but not quite as boring as simply standing there waiting for some form of diversion. While he used the spoon to stir the rice he stared at his opponent. The man didn't look tired, but the makeup concealed many of the signs. His eyes were as usual wide and staring, at what he didn't know, or care.

"All the water has been used," the man said suddenly.

Waiting for the rigmarole of checking and finalising the tasks, Zaraki stretched and rotated his shoulders, hearing them creak and feeling the muscles stretch from the prolonged inactivity and repetitive motions.

The threat of sleep loomed. He'd be bored by the standing and then momentarily made alert due to learning the task, but as the task was uninteresting, the effect made him even more vulnerable to sleep. If he were walking, it would provide more stimulation, but the first task was pretty sedentary. A yawn formed in the back of his throat. Wishing to appear immune to tiredness he suppressed any outward sign and tried to swallow the yawn.

The rest of this challenge wasn't going to be easy.

_

* * *

_

Author's Note:

Sleep Deprivation has been used as a form of torture. The method used in this story is an invention of my own because it seemed more devious and funny. There can be no assurance that it would work, but the possible plot hole is acknowledged. As this is a work of fiction and there is no budget for in house research (infact no budget) and my family refused to participate in any tests, my imagination was permitted to run wild, which is often a bad thing.

Chapter 50. Scary. Don't mention it, please. As for the delay? I went overseas, for a change.

Thanks to all the kind reviewers. I'd thank you individually, but I want to post this.

Please review.

MS


	51. Silver Service

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. None. _

**Silver Service**

"Who won?" Kurotsuchi asked with a small amount of impatience.

Ise regarded him for a moment as if she had not expected that question. "No one won. It was simply a task that was part of the challenge. "

When the nature of the challenge had been explained, the question of whether the tasks would be part of the way that the winner would be selected hadn't crossed his mind. The way it had been explained made it clear that staying awake was the whole purpose and the tasks were incidental. He'd tried hard with washing the rice as it gave him something on which to focus aside from standing and staring, but even so, the repetitive nature of the tasks hadn't helped.

"But," Kurotsuchi looked aghast and shook his head. "But who washed the rice cleaner?"

Ise took a deep breath and said slowly, "It doesn't count toward the challenge. It's part of it, true. The winner is the Captain who doesn't fall asleep, not the person who completes the tasks more effectively."

Kurotsuchi shook his head, almost in denial. It was clear that he was not happy with this information and wished to argue further, but decided there was little chance Ise would yield.

"Please take you positions once more," were the next instructions.

Folding his arms, Zaraki wondered how time might pass more easily. Talking to the bird was an option, yet it was too soon after her near apology. Past experience indicated she might be more argumentative than ever and try to provoke him into a fight in order to avoid any mention of it. While the sentiment might exist, even if she had behaved badly, she hated being in the wrong. In time the situation would be altered in her mind where he had been the one to make the apology for some reason or other. Not that he would, but she liked to believe many things which weren't true.

Atonomatsuri was proud, stubborn and impossible, but she was all he was likely to get. Changing the spirit of a zanpakuto might be possible, but the only men he knew who might manage it were either his competitor or a suspect shopkeeper in the human world and it was a hard call to decide whom he trusted less. After the challenges were over, irrespective of who won, there was no point in asking Kurotsuchi. The man might have hated him before this, but the effect of these experiences might make his mania worse.

"Why am I thinking mania? The guy's strange; but manic?" It seemed an odd thought for him to have and it was hard to summon up even a slight care factor about what happened to the 12th Division Captain when he finally lost. If he was sentenced to return to the Maggots Nest, Zaraki felt the sentence was deserved. There were stories about some of the experiments the man had attempted on his former fellow prisoners which unsettled the stomach and might cause nightmares for those more protected from the harsher realities of life. Hell, he'd almost shuddered when Madarame had gone into detail about one particular experiment, but it might have been exaggerated by the retelling.

Killing was a fact of life, but drawing out the pain on a defenceless person wasn't sport or fun. The purpose of fighting wasn't always to cause death to the other, but to prove who was stronger, or who had more skills. A battle could be a place to learn new methods of defeating a stronger opponent or one who had a different fighting style. Not that he changed the way he fought much, until now.

Meeting that Ichigo kid and fighting him led to this moment of being bored in public. Standing in the middle of a training area, staring at nothing and hearing the quiet whispering and laughter. Then a shuffle of feet caused him to look at the audience. Shinigami were moving out of their seats, avidly chatting and looking over their shoulders and nodding as they left. A further shuffle of movement drew his eyes to the incoming Shinigami, talking excitedly. What was exciting about watching two men stand, trying to remain awake, or washing rice?

Then he saw the judges were also leaving, being replaced by Ukitake, Hitsugaya and the guy with the sunglasses who hung around with Madarame. He'd been in 11th Division at one time, but the name escaped him. What was it? He was an assistant Captain as well. What was his name?

Ise came up to him and spoke very quietly. "We are changing shifts as we need our sleep, even though you are not permitted to do so. First Division, Assistant Captain Choujiro Sasakibe kindly agreed to take over my duties."

Zaraki nodded. There was no need to talk because it wasn't his decision.

Ise moved on to the Clown Captain only to become involved in a quiet and fierce whispering match. Obviously Kurotsuchi wasn't happy about the change, for some reason, or he was being objectionable. Either way it didn't matter. He could protest all he liked.

Iba. That was the guy's name. Tetsuzaemon Iba. He liked to fight, liked to drink, but liked the chance of promotion a lot more than Zaraki's 3rd seat. Hell, Madarame would be a much better Assistant Captain, but he didn't appear to have the ambition. Maybe he should talk to him about it, but then it would mean appointing a new third seat, a change in personnel and seemed too much like hard work.

Bored, he looked toward around the audience again who seemed to be waiting for an event to take place. It almost made him smile to think how they would be disappointed. Another quick glance revealed the three new judges sat there, watching, not even talking amongst themselves.

Zaraki again went back to avoiding talking to or thinking about Atonomatsuri. A yawn built in his throat, but he suppressed it. Yawning would indicate he was tired and such a sign of weakness wasn't included in his plans. Besides, he knew that if he started yawning now, stopping might prove difficult.

A look to his left showed Kurotsuchi's face contorted in a peculiar manner. His eyes were open and staring, more than normal and there was a great amount of tension in his jaw, while he seemed to be swallowing rapidly. Was he going to vomit? The motion of the man's chest seemed to have halted. Maybe he was having a heart attack. Now his eyes were nearly popping out of his head. If the man did suffer a heart attack, would that mean he lost this challenge and the whole thing? An end to all the stupid ideas dreamt up by people intent on amusement at his expense? He hoped it was so.

If the man's face hadn't been covered with make-up, Zaraki wasn't sure if his face would be red or pale, but beads of sweat were forming on his forehead, breaking through the white coating and trickling down his face. It had to be a major problem for him to be acting this way. Zaraki wondered if he should say something and then tried to work out if his care factor was high enough. He didn't have a care factor, so he did nothing.

Apparently, members of the audience noticed as a few people gestured at Sasakibe, who hurried over, displaying his usual dignity and decorum. "Are you well, Captain Kurotsuchi? "

The man he addressed gave a strangled gasp and then his mouth opened wide as he yawned, hugely, the yawn almost cutting his face in half. The gaping mouth, pink gums, protruding tongue and roof of the mouth were fully exposed and made him look remarkably like a large, dead fish.

It was funny and Zaraki laughed and a number of people saw and also began to giggle. Soon a wave of hilarity swept over all present except for Kurotsuchi who was now yawning freely, in between looking indignant. All those facial contortions had been an attempt to avoid yawning! The swallowing seemed a weird technique, but it might help. Eventually the laughter died down.

"There is no cause for amusement," Kurotsuchi said, his voice dripping with a mixture of rage and indignation. "I was merely preventing a yawn."

A small amount of tittering ensued at this, but most of the spectators attempted to keep their composure. The Assistant Captain had stood there all through this, a concerned look on his face, not even a small smile touched his mouth. Did the guy have any sense of humour? He'd heard somewhere that the man idolised English culture. The way he was acting made Zaraki recall something about that nationality. Something about an inflexible top lip. Did that mean they had no sense of humour?

Before he could further follow the idea, he felt his own jaw tighten. He'd wanted to yawn and watching his opponent do so only made it harder for him to control the urge. The laughter had blown away some of his tension, but the tension had assisted in keeping him alert.

"Are you certain you are well, Captain Kurotsuchi? You may withdraw if you are too exhausted to continue." The man's solemn measured tone didn't help. It was too soothing and made the urge to yawn become more insistent.

"No. I won't. I merely yawned. It's a perfectly natural reaction to being physically inactive."

Kurotsuchi's mouth twitched and again began his convulsive swallowing with his eyes once more almost popping out.

Watching the resulting mime show, it seemed curious the man fought the desire to yawn so strongly. Or did he too see it as a sign of weakness? At least watching the struggle made him forget his own battle against yawning.

"It is now time, Captain Zaraki, Captain Kurotsuchi for the next task. Please accompany me." Without waiting for agreement the man led the way to two tables that were set up behind where they'd been standing. The tables were covered but the covers were not flat, but seemed to be concealing a number of objects of varying shape. The chairs behind the tables had some green stuff flung over them.

"Please wear these," Sasakibe politely asked.

"What are they?" Zaraki was curious and not pleasantly so.

"They're merely aprons to prevent your uniforms from being dirty."

An apron! He wasn't going to wear a freaking apron. Anger touched his mind and opening his mouth he prepared to provide his thoughts about wearing aprons and how the person suggesting it might find a chair being roughly inserted in his chest.

"No."

"No."

Both Kurotsuchi and he spoke the word at the same time. Both sounded adamant and he certainly was.

"You have to wear the apron or forfeit the challenge."

Zaraki was certain that the man was wrong and this was yet another scheme to amuse to watching Shinigami and promote further attendance.

"Why?"

A strange confused looked crossed Sasakibe's face. "To keep your clothes clean and it is traditional. In England butlers wear aprons to clean sliver."

Before Zaraki could answer, Kurotsuchi burst out, "I am a Captain of the Gotei 13, not a butler. Nor am I English."

In spite of himself, Zaraki found he was nodding agreement. All those things applied to him as well. A butler was a servant and he served no one.

"You do, Kenny." The quiet interruption of Atonomatsuri's voice was unwelcome. Now it seemed his thoughts weren't private anymore.

"I don't serve anyone. What are you saying?" he answered her harshly as she had this habit of making him question his beliefs and then his life, or death, or whatever the hell he was in now. Then he cursed, realising that answering her might mean she'd reply.

" They also serve who only stand and wait."

He thought he detected a trace of humour is her voice. The vulture was making a joke about the competition because he was standing around waiting for something to happen. It didn't make him a servant. It made him a person who had been manipulated into this position by Captain Yamamoto.

Captain Yamamoto, his senior officer under whom he...

Damn that dratted bird. Why did she do this to him? That little detail had always been known to him, but he chose to ignore it. He was Captain of a Division. Because the Old Man had the final word over everything didn't diminish Zaraki. He knew many ways to get around orders and find loopholes, or refuse to do the bloody work. She always did this. Find a fact and twist it around to present it to him in a way he didn't want to consider. Did she do it on purpose as it gave her some form of pleasure? Who could fathom how the bird thought? He wasn't going to concede on this occasion and resolved to do so even more rarely in the future. As long as she didn't mention teddy bears, he could maintain his cool.

"I'm in charge," he growled. Saying the words was better than not saying anything.

Atonomatsuri chuckled cynically. There was no mistaking the disbelief in her voice. "It makes you feel better to think so. We have to believe in free will. We have no choice."

Free will. The bird had once more gone off on a tangent. Free will meant choice but the bird was saying they had to believe in free will as they had no choice? What sort of statement was that?

Rather than reply, and in an act meant to provoke the 12th Division Captain, Zaraki ungraciously took the green apron and put it over his head. A faint sound of laughter came to his ears and he turned and glared in the direction from which he thought the sound had come. The slight sound cut off abruptly but he still noticed a few people who were observing had a hand cupped over the lower part of their faces. Almost as if they were hiding their mouths. As a trick to hide a smile, it only drew more attention to the person trying to pretend they weren't.

Sure, he'd expected them to smile at the sight of him wearing an apron. At least it was straight and green and didn't have any frills or other feminine additions, but he still resented being forced to wear it. The only upside was it might prevent the bird from making any further comments.

"Now you look like a waiter," the softened tones of Atonomatsuri's voice didn't make him feel any better and the words were calculated to annoy him. "Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting and the Clown Captain is still making us wait," she quickly added.

He looked and Kurotsuchi was staring at him, apparently dumbfounded. "Why? Why are you wearing the apron, Zaraki?"

The man was asking why he put on the apron? Hadn't he been listening? If they didn't wear the bloody thing, then all the time they'd already spent on the challenge would be wasted. Couldn't the man see past his pride for a few seconds and do something simple, instead of arguing against a rule when he was sure to lose?

"I don't like wasting time. Do you?"

It was a pointed response and he saw the man begin to shake his head in denial and then stopped. "This whole set of challenges is a waste of my valuable time. I could be undertaking important research instead of standing here at night, breathing the same air you have fouled with you exhalations."

It was such a stupid response, Zaraki laughed. Instead of replying he sat on the chair and waited. Either the man would don the apron, or not. He'd take advantage of the chance to sit down while it was offered and let his feet have a break. It reminded him how much he'd hated sentry duty; all the waiting around standing still most of the time, wishing for time to pass. He'd nearly perfected the ability to appear alert while his brain was nearly asleep. Standing alone for long periods of time had almost led to him thinking on a few occasions, yet he'd always stopped and for a few seconds he longed for those days.

Kurotsuchi was standing with his hands clenched at his sides staring at the 1st Division lieutenant. The man drew himself taller and stared down his nose at the Captain. He seemed to be as stubborn as the clown he faced and Zaraki wondered who would crack first.

"You have two minutes. If you do not don the apron in that time you will be disqualified."

Yamamoto suddenly seemed to appear, standing beside his subordinate. "Is there a problem, Mayuri?" His voice was cool and steely.

Kurotsuchi opened his mouth, snapped it shut and then swallowed. "No."

"Then put the apron on and stop acting like a prima donna. This is not an opera; you're a bad actor and worse singer." Yamamoto tiredly rubbed his face and was gone as quickly as he'd appeared.

A sad frown crossed Sasakibe's forehead as he sadly shook his head. "I am distressed that he was disturbed due to my inability to explain matters clearly."

With a stiff gait Kurotsuchi walked toward the chair and picked up the apron and then put it down. Slowly he removed his Captain's coat, folded it and then reluctantly pulled the apron over his head, tied the strings behind him and sat in the chair.

The short and impromptu striptease has caused a few giggles and whispered comments. Zaraki had trouble keeping his face straight, but managed by biting the side of his cheek. Yeah, it's been funny, but why antagonise him any further? He was tired and a fight would tire him even more and maybe give the other Captain an edge.

"This task is to polish the silver. A variety of cleaning products are provided and you may choose which method you prefer. This task will continue until you are requested to stop. As mentioned by Assistant Captain Ise, there is no winner in these tasks." Saisakibe's tone was measured, almost mesmerising. "You have to wear the gloves provided also."

Zaraki hoped he wouldn't talk much as he could almost feel his eyelids dropping while he listened to the instructions. Pulling the cloth off the objects in front of him, he saw silver: tarnished silver cups, mugs, plates, candlesticks and other items. Some were simple, others were ornate with many decorations that might make polishing a more complex task.

He picked up the gloves and looked at them. It wasn't easy to stretch them far enough to reach over his hands, but he succeeded. The only thing he'd polished was Atonomatsuri and the times numbered under 15. Picking up a blue cloth he picked up a simple, but blackened plate and rubbed the cloth over it. Nothing happened, so he rubbed it again. The blue cloth turned slightly black and he continued to rub the same area, watching the black slowly disappear and a gleam of silver show through. Putting down the cloth he picked up a bottle and read the label. It promised to remove the tarnish quickly, but advised the items would require washing and further polishing. There was a container of water on the table, obviously there for the purpose. Opening the bottle he recoiled from the stench of the liquid contained within. The stuff was vile.

While the smell was disgusting, it woke him up considerably.

"Use it, Kenny," Atonomatsuri advised and then went quiet.

"No adage?" Zaraki thought. Her voice had sounded sleepy and strange though the idea appeared, he wondered if the smell had woken her as well.

Grimacing against the smell he selected an ordinary cloth and applied the contents of the bottle to the remaining silver, noticing how the black vanished quickly from some, but stubbornly lingered on others.

He didn't notice how long it took. After he'd finished using the noxious fluid and washing it off, the repetition of cleaning the silver became monotonous. At first it had been slightly interesting to watch the gleam emerge, but the novelty wore off, fast.

"This task is now complete. Please remove your gloves and aprons and wash your hands in the basins provided."

Looking down, Zaraki saw the apron was streaked with black and spattered with tarnish removing liquid which had bleached the colour from the garment. After removing the gloves and apron he washed his hands, finding the cool water refreshing. Without waiting to be told he moved to the place he'd stood before and resumed the challenge.

Now he was tired, The water had provided a brief respite as had the smell, but after the events in the past days he wanted to rest and recuperate, not stand around waiting. A sideways glance showed Kurotsuchi fighting off another yawn. The man had some strange ideas. Yawning didn't make you sleep.

Deciding that watching him trying to stop yawning was likely to make him yawn, he looked out at the Shinigami audience. Weren't they bored yet? They'd got a laugh out of seeing him in an apron, but watching two men standing trying to stay awake when they could be drinking, playing Go or following other pursuits seemed strange. Some of the other challenges might have been more interesting, but...

His eyes began to drift shut and he jerked instinctively trying to remain alert. Opening his eyes wide he stared at the brightest light.

Until now he hadn't realised how heavy his eyelids were. He brought up his fingers and tried to prop open the lids. It wasn't helping. Desperate, he bit down on a finger, hoping the pain would wake him up. It helped slightly, but again his lids began their determined descent. Damn it. He was going to lose the challenge and he'd wasted all this time trying to stay awake in an attempt to win when he could have been sleeping. This competition was making him give up on too many things he liked.

Why bother? It was time to give up and sleep. So what if he didn't win this one and had to compete in all the other events? Knowing Kurotsuchi, he'd have to anyway. There'd be some excuse or argument to trap him into all the other events which would make money for Yamamoto and provide grist for gossip, rumours and possibly amusement.

Now he let his eyes shut. The competition would be lost honourably, by falling asleep. Strangest way to lose anything he'd ever heard, but it didn't matter.

Starting to relax, he heard a thud and a groan. Turning he noticed Kurotsuchi had fallen.

"I didn't touch him," was his instinctive reaction.

The answer was a loud snore. The 12th Division Captain had lost his battle against sleep.

Zaraki stared at him for a second, finding it hard to believe. They must have both given up at the same time, except the Clown Captain succumbed to sleep more quickly.

"Does that mean I won?" he asked, his voice thick with sleep.

"Yes, Captain Zaraki. You've won," the assured voice of Sasakibe told him.

"Good," he managed to mumble before a wave of sleep overtook him and he didn't remember anything else.

"Ken-chan, you won! You won!" The cheerful voice of Yachiru sounded like it was a long distance away but the weight bouncing on his chest convinced him of the wisdom of waking up, fast.

Opening his eyes, he noticed it was morning and he was back in the accommodation so carefully provided by Yamamoto. He was lying on his back, staring into the excited face of Yachiru who was gazing at him mischievously.

"I won last night. Why are you jumping on me now?" His voice grated out of his dry throat and he coughed, trying to clear the obstruction.

"I came to bring you some water," Yachiru said, brandishing a cup which promptly splashed into Zaraki's face.

It made him wonder how she's managed to bounce on him and keep the water confined to the cup, but when it came time when it might prove useful to him, she spilt it. Then he noticed the grin on her face. It hadn't been an accident.

"I'm awake. You made sure of that. Get me some water to drink," he ordered her. The girl liked to do things like this, pretend she had made an innocent error and then prove it had been a deliberate act by laughing loudly. It was only fun and didn't hurt anyone, or never hurt him. Water wasn't going to make him rust.

Yachiru jumped lightly to the floor and poured him some more water which was handed to him promptly. "You're allowed to sleep in today as the challenge is scheduled for this afternoon," she told him.

"Sleep in? What time is it?'

Yachiru shrugged. "I don't know. I woke up, the sun was up and I decided to visit. No one wanted to let me in, but I told them they had to." The smile that crossed her face indicated that she had enjoyed forcing the Shinigami who were watching him to let her in. He wondered what she'd done, but knew he'd find out, eventually.

Checking the time he swore, quietly. It was very early and he was still tired, but at the same time he was pleased to see Yachiru. He'd missed her company the last days and her regular teasing. Raising his voice, he yelled, "I want some breakfast, fast!"

Not hearing a reply, he yelled again and heard the sound of running feet.

"I already told them to bring breakfast," Yachiru said.

If she's chosen he was going to be presented with sugar in a variety of forms. It make help him function, but he wished he could have a fish porridge or something he normally chose.

"Don't look like that. I asked them to give you what you like," Yachiru said. "And if you're good I'll share mine with you."

He couldn't resist grinning at her. "If I'm good? I beat Kurotsuchi at staying awake. Isn't that good enough for you?"

She nodded as two Shinigami entered the room carrying what were apparently heavy trays.

Zaraki's stomach growled appreciatively. After the events of last night he needed both sleep and food, but he'd have to give up on the idea of sleep for the moment.

After spending the morning with Yachiru, he was even less inclined to participate in the next challenge. When he mentioned this to his assistant captain she hesitated for a moment and bit her look, refusing to meet his gaze.

"What's up?"

Normally she would have been quick to explain everything, but this time even after he asked a direct question, she didn't seem to wish to reply. She played with the hem of her sleeve and hummed quietly and he began to feel a twinge of tension at her attempt at nonchalance.

"Yachiru, I want to know." He let the element of command show in his voice knowing it normally brought a quick answer.

"Everyone is talking about you. Nearly all of them want you to win," she said, in a transparently casual manner.

"Yeah. So?"

"It's sort of been fun, Ken-chan. People act like it's a holiday and make jokes and laugh. There's no paperwork, or not much; but I don't like being away from you this much."

It was strange. He hadn't thought about it in the way she was describing. A holiday? Even though the competition was to prove the Clown Captain's guilt or innocence, the method was providing entertainment to the Shinigami who were observing. If this caused the amount of interest it appeared to, wouldn't a regular competition where all eligible Shinigami competed be even more interesting. Nothing as tedious as the Olympic Games in the Human world, but contained events that were amusing and taxing in different senses.

Then again, maybe the Old Man had already considered the idea and was preparing to introduce it anyway. It would make money and keep people focused on something other than the discord between Divisions.

"Captain Zaraki. Would you come with me? It's time." Captain Ukitake was at the door, a small smile on his face.

"Yeah. Sure."

"Why is this Captain here, Kenny? Don't you think it strange that a Captain is here to escort you, not an ordinary Shinigami?" Atonomatsuri asked, interest thick in her voice.

"Please let us walk alone together," Captain Ukitake requested Yachiru who had already leapt onto Zaraki's back. "I want to ask your Captain something private."

Had the world completely tilted on its axis? Ukitake had never requested a private conversation with Zaraki until now and it wasn't easy to think of anything they had in common or needed to discuss.

Yachiru pouted. She was going to be stubborn.

A bag of lollies magically appeared in Ukitake's hand. "You may have these, if you like."

"Oooooooohhhhhh. Lollies. Yum," Yachiru gloated. "Yes, you can talk to Ken-chan, this time."

Following the older man out of the room, Zaraki wondered about the nature of this 'something private'.

_

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_

Author's Note.

I hope to finish another chapter relatively quickly as I will be travelling to South America at the end of September and will be rather busy. Why touring South America will take up my time, I have no idea. Maybe I'll find out once I get there.

And I'm going to Manifest in Melbourne on 20 August because Little Kariboh will be there. Yay! LK is awesome!

Thank you to Evilhumour Author, OmniOminous, Delightful-Indeed (I went to Fiji for a week and it was fun), Wandering the Arid Sea, Tsuki no Kagemaru, TinBuzzard (while you may not like Kevin Rudd, who is Prime Minister no longer, Mr Abbot is not one of my preferred options. I still find it hard to believe, for a time we had two politicians in the same party, one called Abbott and the other Costello.) Azuvla, Skeith (Zaraki was always fated to end up in an apron somewhere in the challenges), OBSERVER01, Ancestor's Dragon, ScriptLord, GreenOnBlack, Scarlette Shizuru, Cezar, Voidangel Soren (I'm very pleased you like the story, it's fun to write), WanbenkuSan (what are nickies?) and K . Kusanagai (I'm a sucker for praise) for the reviews.

Please review.

MS


	52. Rock, Paper, Scissors

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. However, writing it makes me laugh._

**Rock, Paper, Scissors.**

Leaving the room he thought of as a cell, Zaraki stayed silent, waiting for the older man to speak. There was nothing he could think of which could be considered a common interest and he had trouble imagining what the senior Captain wanted to discuss.

Ukitake cleared his throat and Zaraki waited for him to say something, but the wait was in vain. They continued walking. Should he ask? He didn't want to, as that might seem like a sign of weakness, or even worse, interest. Let the man take his time and he'd eventually say what was on his mind.

"I have heard a rumour, Captain Zaraki," Ukitake said in a low voice.

"Yeah, there's always rumours in this place," Zaraki replied wondering when the man would get to the point.

They walked a few more steps. The man cleared his throat again. Maybe he was going to cough or he felt unwell. Whatever it was, Zaraki wished he'd stop rearranging his phlegm and get to the point. After last night and the early awakening, he didn't have much patience with slow delivery or waiting for anything. Why was patience given such a good reputation? He had no time for it.

"The rumour is about your 5th seat and Captain Kurotsuchi's daughter, Nemu." The man appeared embarrassed to mention the subject. "They appear to be romantically involved and I felt it only fair you were informed."

Zaraki didn't even try to stop the laugh. That was the problem? Ayasegawa's friendship with Nemu? It was possible a Shinigami had seen them together, added one to five, thrown in a healthy dash of the birds and the bees and created a scandal. It was great how people jumped to conclusions or decided that every friendship between a man and a woman involved sex.

"You find the rumour amusing?" Ukitake didn't try to hide his shock.

"They're friends. Just friends and I know about it," he replied. Then he added, "Yachiru is going to help her. The girl needs a person who she can look up to."

Ukitake cleared his throat again, but couldn't prevent a laugh. "Nemu looking up to your Assistant Captain?" He ceased laughing and then nodded. "There is no truth to the rumour?"

Zaraki considered his answer. There was a small amount of truth in the rumour if you substituted the word 'friends' for 'romantically involved'. All the same, the reason for the friendship, and his 5th seat's firm denial of any tender feelings for the woman, aside from pity, was not for him to disclose. "No romance. Hey, Ukitake, next you'll be telling me I've got a thing about the girl. How likely is that?"

His fellow captain chucked slightly. "Unlikely. I heard one rumour which linked me with Assistant Captain Nanao Ise."

This moved Zaraki to laugh again. The woman seemed intent of controlling the life of her own captain and he couldn't see her wishing to control another man as well.

"Needless to say, there is no truth in the rumour." Ukitake seemed slightly embarrassed by the tale.

"Why are rumours usually about romance or stupid stuff like that?" It seemed a reasonable question.

Ukitake, tugged slightly at his coat and shook his head. "I don't know. Probably because people prefer to believe the most improbable stories as it makes life more interesting."

For some reason, the explanation didn't satisfy Zaraki. There had to be a better motive for talking about other's love lives. He'd never been interested as it seemed to be a side issue, rather than a fact that defined the person and their place in the world.

"Rumours. Ignore them. They never help anyone and are mostly untrue," Zaraki felt forced to comment.

The nod he received in reply confirmed his belief the man shared some of his views. The discussion had taken up the time required to walk to the area. He was not thinking of it as an arena rather than any other place as he felt he was performing rather than participating in a challenge. At least each one completed meant he was closer to the end and closer to winning. He'd win, eventually; he strongly believed he would beat the Clown Captain.

"Failure teaches success, Kenny." Atonomatsuri seemed to enjoy saying those words to him.

"Thanks for the kind words," he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "It's great knowing I have your support."

"I am being supportive. If you lose sight of the truth, then you become complacent and don't try hard enough," she replied swiftly. "You've been so lazy, sleeping during the day, neglecting the paperwork, ignoring the people under your command and everything else. Until you finally began to talk to me, you were almost smug with how your life was progressing." The bird's tone was sharp and she appeared irritated, for a change.

"Yeah. Life was more enjoyable before," was his quick reply. Sure, it might annoy the bird, but she didn't seem to worry about annoying him. Hearing those words spoken made him wonder if life had been more enjoyable before. It had been quieter and he'd had fewer friends; there had been more time to sleep and no stupid challenges that took over his days; but he'd also been depressed. He'd hated admitting it, but being beaten by the kid, depressed him. It was his fault he'd decided to learn the name of his zanpakuto! Next time they met he'd show Ichigo was real fighting was like!

"No, it wasn't. You only say that to hurt my feelings. You were bored. All play and no work makes Kenny a dull boy." The strident note in the birds voice should have alerted him to the impending argument, but he didn't care.

Atonomatsuri would fight with him about any imagined slight or perceived mistake. The challenges seemed to make her ability to turn anything into an insult against her stronger than before. Maybe it was another of her special powers. If so, he wondered if there was a way of disabling it.

"Life was easy." She couldn't deny that. Life had been easy, or at least he'd taken it easy, and didn't worry about responsibility.

"You were asleep most of the time," she pointed out.

What was her problem? He's slept a lot, brawled when he felt like it, had fun. She was so damn critical of everything he did. It was almost like she felt he owed her something and what it was he didn't want to know. The cost would be extortionate.

"What's so great about being awake?" he quickly replied and then cursed as he noticed he'd rhymed. Maybe she wouldn't notice. Yeah, and maybe the Clown Captain was a caring, sharing person who only wanted the best for everyone.

"Quite the poet, Kenny boy, but you're missing the point. You weren't living, you were simply existing until you began talking to me. Long sleep makes a bare back."

Another bloody adage. What did it mean? Bare back from sleeping?

Before he could reply, he noticed Ukitake bowing slightly to him. "Good luck with the challenge, Captain Zaraki. I have been very interested in how you have handled each one with more patience than I expected. You've surprised me."

Was it a compliment? It didn't matter because it distracted Atonomatsuri from their conversation, but only to make another sarky comment. "Patience? You? I never thought I'd hear anyone say that about you, unless it had an 'im' in front of it."

The bird was trying to be clever and it only made him sigh deeply.

Refusing to reply he looked around, noticing the packed audience, the blue of the sky with a few clouds scudding across it. Yamamoto, standing, leaning on his stick and looking as if he were asleep. The weather was perfect for an all out battle. Not too hot or too cold, bright, a fresh breeze with a slight chill factor and the crisp air of changing seasons. Instead of enjoying the weather by hitting someone, he was stuck here. In front of him stood the Clown Captain who appeared to be scowling at Ise while her expression revealed none of her thoughts. Ukitake moved to take his place at the judges table and proved one theory Zaraki had partially formed. Hopefully this challenge didn't include wearing an apron.

"Yeah. Whatever you say," was his offhand reply. He had more important things to concern him than defending against repeated insults.

Ise had noticed his arrival and announced, "We will commence the next challenge. This one requires patience," Zaraki groaned at the word, "skill and persistence."

"Three things you lack." Atonomatsuri seemed pleased. Maybe she was hoping he'd lose so she could have another matter to constantly

Why wouldn't the vulture let up? Deciding to ignore her, he instead listened to the additional instructions provided. Instead of information, Ise asked a question.

"Do you know how to play 'Rock, Paper, Scissors', Captain Kurotsuchi?"

The man stared at Ise; the frown on his face was noticeable.

Was this the challenge? Something so simple that could be finished in a matter of minutes, depending on the number of times the game was played? The game was a matter of luck, so why did Ise talk about skill and patience? The seated audience stirred as if disappointed. Not a prolonged form of torture for their entertainment this time. Something simple and ordinary. It was a relief.

Rather than wait to hear the Clown Captain's response, Zaraki replied. "I know how to play it."

"She wasn't asking you, Zaraki. Though I shouldn't expect manners from you. Yes, I know how to play that child's game, though why it is relevant, I don't know."

"She'll tell us, fool, if you shut up." Why try to be nice? The man was almost as insulting as Atonomatsuri, and there was no reason to take crap from either of them.

"You dare speak to me like..."

"I don't give a damn what you're going to say. Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you." Did he think Zaraki would back down or be scared of him? Was he living in a fool's paradise?

"Great display of patience, Kenny."

Didn't she know when to keep out of it? Did she want him to punch the man? He heard a few yells of encouragement from the people watching. It seemed they enjoyed the idea of witnessing a fight between two captains more than watching them play a game. While he liked the idea of a fight, he didn't think Kurotsuchi would offer much of a challenge, but the man deserved some punishment. If he said another word, Zaraki would punch him directly in the mouth and enjoy the feeling of his fist crunching through the teeth. If he broke enough, the 12th Division Captain might not be able to talk. His hands curled into fists and he adjusted his weight so that most of it rested on the balls of his feet. One more word. That was all it would take.

"Captains! Remember you are meant to set the standards for the rest of the Shinigami." Yamamoto had appeared again without Zaraki noticing, but considering he was distracted by both Kurotsuchi and Atonomatsuri, it didn't surprise him.

"Yeah. Set standards," he muttered. Being a Captain had good points, but this wasn't one of them. He'd begun enjoying the idea of shattering the Clown Captain's teeth and now he had to pretend to be a model of decorum. What fun was there in that? He heard a few loud sighs from the watching Shinigami, indicating some of them didn't welcome the intervention.

Kurotsuchi turned to the Captain-General. "The man is threatening me. I demand he forfeits the challenge."

The cool look delivered by Yamamoto quelled any further comments before he added, "The challenge has not yet been announced."

Zaraki frowned. Wasn't the challenge the children's game?

Yamamoto addressed Ise. "Continue Assistant Captain. Time passes and the challenge needs to be completed."

Clearing her throat with a gentle cough, Ise spoke clearly and firmly. "The Captain who wins the first three will be the victor. You must announce your decision aloud."

Did that mean this was the challenge? Rock, paper, scissors. From what he knew of the man, he was certain Kurotsuchi would choose paper or scissors. Zaraki's natural inclination was to avoid paper, but his preference might work against him.

"Begin," Ise ordered.

"Rock," Zaraki said as he held out his fist.

"Paper," Kurotsuchi's smile was smug.

"One win for the 12th Division Captain. Continue."

The small cheer from 12th Division Shinigamis quickly ceased as they were hushed by the others.

"Rock."

Kurotsuchi's face was still creased into a smile until he noticed Zaraki's flat hand. "Paper."

The expression of disbelief suited his face more than the smile.

"One each," Ise said. "Continue."

The cheer that greeted the announcement of Zaraki's win was louder, but again faded speedily.

Zaraki observed Kurotsuchi, considering what he would choose. Now he knew that Zaraki would choose paper he might reassess his strategy.

"Scissors."

"Paper?" The statement turned into a question as Kurotsuchi glared at Zaraki's fingers.

He'd won two, but there was still one more to win. Once this challenge was over, he hoped they could move onto the next one, fast.

"Captain Zaraki is leading. Continue," Ise urged. She showed considerable interest in the outcome.

A muffled roar of approval was the response to the announcement and he heard Yachiru yell encouraging words.

This time he was certain rock would win. "Rock."

"Paper," crowed Kurotsuchi.

The win had restored that damned superior smile to his face and once more Zaraki was influenced by a desire to break his teeth. The next time might give him a chance to win, or end up with him losing. He hated the idea of this man beating him for any reason.

"Got it wrong, Kenny."

"Yeah. Thanks for bloody pointing it out. I might have bloody missed it otherwise." Bloody bird. Bloody smiling clown. Bloody stupid children's game.

"Equal. Two each. Once more for the win," Ise sounded excited. Was her position of being in charge making her lose her normal reserve?

Zaraki and Kurotsuchi spoke at the nearly the same time, with the 12th Division Captain being slightly quicker. "Scissors."

"Paper." Why had he chosen paper?

Blast. He'd lost. He'd chosen paper when he should have chosen rock and rock when he should have chosen paper. The loss of this one meant they had to do the whole damned 11 challenges and life wouldn't return to normal anytime soon. He didn't want to see the face wearing the smile so he kept his eyes fixed on Ise, waiting for her to announce his defeat. More importantly he tried to block out any potential noise in his head. Sarcastic observations from Atonomatsuri might make him violent. No, might encourage him to act on the vicious impulses he felt surging through his blood.

"Captain Kurotsuchi has won."

Zaraki thought he heard a few groans and scattered applause. Enthusiasm seemed to be lacking at the announcement of the victory. Nothing to do now. He'd lost and had to live with what followed.

"It means you can choose if you go first or second." Ise was calm and any excitement he thought he'd noticed had vanished. She was as usual, calm, collected and slightly detached.

"What?" He hadn't meant to ask, but her statement didn't make any sense.

"What do you mean? I won the challenge, didn't I?" Kurotsuchi blustered, his chest puffed out. The man was a bad loser, but an even worse winner.

This time Zaraki did look at the man, witnessing the glow of victory fade slightly from his face.

Ise looked through her glasses steadily. "The game was simply a method of providing one of you with the choice of being first or second. It was certainly not a challenge."

"What? I didn't win a challenge? I get to chose to go first or second in what? Explain yourself," the quiver of anger was evident in his voice. He continued to talk but Zaraki decided there was little point in listening to his complaints.

Remaining calm in this situation was impossible. Okay, it might be possible, but he didn't see the point. Kurotsuchi was acting like an imbecile, squealing on and on about his rights and his demand that his victory be acknowledged as winning a challenge. What was the point of arguing? He hadn't won any of his previous arguments and it was unlikely he'd win this one as well.

Reaching out he grabbed the man's nose and twisted it. "Shut up moron! Arguing won't help. If you kept your freaking opinions to yourself we might have finished this days ago, but you've always got to moan. I'm so damned sick of hearing you whine."

He heard muffled laughter from the people watching, but disregarded the noise. If he acknowledged the laughter it might increase and cause the situation to degenerate.

"Oooowwww. Bastard. Stinking ruffian. Release my nose, immediately. How dare you treat me like this!" the strangled voice of the 12th Division Captain didn't impress him at all. Did he discern tears gathering in the man's eyes? Surely not.

He'd thought of grabbing him by the throat, but the desire to strangle the man might have proved overwhelming. Punching him in the mouth would have been satisfying, but there was no telling what sort of weird stuff might be present in Kurotsuchi's blood and while he liked watching blood flow, he'd prefer it if it was at a distance with this man. Grabbing the nose made the man look as ridiculous as he acted.

"I'll let go if you keep quiet," Zaraki told him as he twisted his nose further.

The man's eyes widened and he nodded with poor grace. Satisfied, Zaraki released his hold and turned to face Ise. "Now tell the Assistant Captain if you want to go first or second."

"Second." Kurotsuchi's hand was cupping his nose protectively as his reddened eyes glared at Zaraki maliciously.

"Please follow Akon, Captain Kurotsuchi," Ise politely instructed.

"Why?" he asked, quickly.

"If you watch you would gain an advantage which would be unfair to Captain Zaraki," was the reasonable explanation.

Instead of protesting as expected, a furtive look crossed the man's face. "All watching and listening devices have been removed," was the quiet reminder almost as if Ise knew exactly what the 12th Division Captain was thinking. "The aim of the challenge is to keep everything fair and open, otherwise we have proven nothing."

Turning on his heel, the 12th Division captain followed his subordinate. Ise waited a few minutes after he was no longer in sight. Taking a deep breath, she said, "The challenge is to train a Shinigami, from your division, in either learning a new fighting move or the manner in which he or she may learn the name of their zanpakuto."

Zaraki decided to ignore the amusement this announcement caused in the crowd. He knew his zanpakuto's name. If they had a problem with that, he didn't care. Fighting was what he was best at.

"Do I get to choose the Shinigami?" He could think of a few people he wouldn't mind working with and even more he didn't want to deal with, let alone train.

"No. The Shinigami has already been selected."

He thought carefully. Learning the name of his zanpakuto had taken years, mainly because he hadn't been trying. The challenge seemed carefully weighed to make him choose the fighting move and he didn't see a way around it. One thing that concerned him was which Shinigami was chosen? At least it couldn't be Piecrust as he was still injured. Teaching Piecrust anything might take years, or eternity.

"How long do I have?"

"An hour."

One hour to teach a new fighting move. He didn't think it was possible for anyone to learn the name of the spirit of the zanpakuto in one hour, unless they'd been trying already and he was pretty sure that while his Division followed his command, they'd only had a few days to start. And saying all the sickening things aloud might cause more amusement than necessary. There was only one choice.

"Fighting move."

There was a small cheer from the spectators. Ise nodded without any show of surprise. Probably everyone expected him to make that choice, but what else could he do? Set himself up to fail and humiliate his Division? Hell, now he was thinking like Kuchiki. Next he might talk about family honour which would prove he'd lost it.

A gesture from Ise and a Shinigami was led into the arena. The gasps from the watchers nearly covered the loud groan as Zaraki saw who he was meant to train. It was impossible! It was cruel! It was the worst possible choice.

Piecrust.

Piecrust was the Shinigami from his Division he was meant to train. Was the challenge specially designed for him to fail? The man didn't listen, had little skill and an over-inflated opinion of his abilities. Training him not to trip over his zanpakuto would be hard enough and that couldn't even be classed as a fighting move.

The man moved stiffly, but appeared to have recovered from most of his injuries. Great. He's whine the whole time and be unable to move easily. This whole thing stank. He'd been set up to fail. He could teach fighting moves to anyone who had the aptitude or the interest, but everything he'd seen of Piecrust indicated he had neither. Even normally his agility was less than required.

Squaring his shoulders, Zaraki walked up to his subordinate and grabbing him by the arm, began to speak to him in a low voice. "You do exactly as I say. Follow every instruction or I'll ask my Assistant Captain to show me how much she can make you squeal and run around."

The shudder the threat produced did not go unnoticed. Yachiru had possibly done the one thing to the Shinigami that no other person had managed. Proven that any person, no matter their size or age could be a formidable opponent, if they had the skill and training. Zaraki wondered if she regretted permitting others to witness her fighting skills as she did capitalise on how others treated her as a child. Then again, these were women who belonged to the Women's Shinigami Society where she had managed to oust Ise as leader when it suited her.

"I will try my best, Captain Zaraki," Piecrust said without the normal arrogance or condescension in his voice.

He heard Atonomatsuri gasp which mirrored his own shock. "He's going to try? He is?"

Ignoring her comments he looked down at the man, glaring at him fiercely. "You do that."

"The challenge calls for using your own zanpakutos," Ise instructed them. "Any injuries will be treated at the end of the hour, not before. Death of the trainee is not permitted, nor is removal of any limbs."

"That'd be right. Banning all the good stuff," muttered Zaraki. If he'd killed the guy in front of these witnesses while taking part in a challenge, everyone would have believed it a simple mistake. In other words he had to teach the guy without damaging him. It seemed like most of his senior officers had received the opportunity to hurt him and he was being denied his own chance.

"Hey, Ise. Can I ask what moves he does know?"

Ise raised one eyebrow. "He belongs to your Division, Captain Zaraki. You should be aware of his abilities and know which moves might suit him best. However, I will ask the judges."

She went toward the table where Captain Ukitake sat with Soi's Assistant Captain, he could never remember his name, and Abarai. He was pleased to see his former subordinate being given some authority and he seemed to be taking the situation seriously. After the embarrassment he'd suffered at the hands of his Captain recently all because of a stupid bet with Madarame... A stupid bet. What was the next part of the stupid bet? Zaraki had a bad feeling he didn't want to find out the answer to the question any time soon.

The judges conferred briefly and nodded. Ise walked back and said, "You may ask him which moves he does know so that it will not be possible to accuse you of cheating by teaching a move he already knows."

Nodding, Zaraki turned to Piecrust. "What fighting moves do you know? Show me." It would be quicker to watch the man do them, rather than listen to an explanation that might prove long and confusing.

_

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_

Author's Note

Managed to complete the chapter before my tour of South America. I will try to write while touring, but for some reason it never works out too well. Too many distractions perhaps?

Hands up those who expected Piecrust to be the lucky Shinigami selected? Okay, any guesses who created this challenge? It seems pretty obvious to me, but as I wrote it, there might be an unfair advantage.

Thanks to Condor Green (Zaraki is going to win? Are you sure?), TanithLipsky, Scarlette Shizuru (I've updated), Evilhumour Author (I hope you like this one too), Ancestor's Dragon (each challenge from a different Division means many different things), star's dream (I hope you're sleeping better), Lyell (The quote is actually from a poem. Little Kuriboh is amazing. Funny, smart, and so talented), Ultra-Pop (Arghhhhh... rewrite this monster? Help me... Thanks for the heads up though), TinBuzzard (most property markets are in a bubble, but at least we know who our Prime Minister is, at last), Voidangel Soren (I hope to enjoy South America. It will be a nice change from Australia), RockBane, Cezar (Wow. Thanks.), SilentSeraphim (Thank you. It seems a few people want the Clown Captain to die. Is it because we're all so jealous of his charm, good looks, etc?), HellMinion88 (Piecrust. Yes. Thanks.) for the reviews.

Please review.

MS


	53. Simple Questions

Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. However, writing it makes me laugh.

**Simple Questions**

"Fighting moves?" The question in the voice was apparent to anyone listening.

What was wrong? He'd asked a simple question in simple language. There could be nothing confusing in the request for the man to show his Captain the fighting moves he knew. No matter how much he protested or shirked, Piecrust had attended training session in 11th Division to improve his fighting moves. That was what training was all about. Not only to strengthen the body, but also to make each member a fighter worthy of being in the strongest Division in the Seireitei.

"Did Yachiru hit your head too hard? Fighting moves. When you fight, you move! You tried to fight Madarame and Ayasegawa and me, at least they might have been fighting moves," Zaraki didn't try to keep the impatience out of his voice. The moves the guy had used were weak at best.

The man was pale. Partially healed wounds stood out starkly, red, purple and pink against the cream colour of his skin, but the question seemed to make him almost ashen. Opening his mouth he cleared his throat and then appeared to be attempting to speak, but only a high pitched squawk issued forth.

"Have you been giving the guy speech lessons?" Zaraki asked dryly of Atonomatsuri.

"The man can't see the spirit of his own zanpakuto, let alone me, Kenny boy. Why would I give anyone lessons when my whole attention and intelligence is dedicated to your improvement."

"Me? Improve? Yeah, and you're just the bird to show me how." Tiring of the conversation with the vulture he tried another conversation tactic with his subordinate.

"Think, fool. Fighting moves. What ones do you know? Show me? It's not hard."

Piecrusts eyelashes fluttered as he closed his eyes and he seemed to sway as he stood there. Zaraki wondered if he was still too unwell to be here, but Retsu wouldn't have let him participate if he was too injured. She might not like the guy and have a few issues about his appearance in the changing room when she was preparing to bathe, but unlike most women, she showed common sense and put her own concerns to one side. If she didn't, they might be looking for another new Captain: this time for 12th Division considering the way the man had treated her.

It seemed odd. When he'd first come out, Piecrust seemed different; determined and almost like a person who would be able to participate fully in the challenge. After a few short exchanges of words he was back to being a waste of reiatsu, or even less useful than normal. Zaraki almost preferred the false bravado and misplaced assurance as it showed more spirit than the man was displaying now.

"Fighting moves," Zaraki urged, his impatience flaring higher than normal. There should be some consistency, not this wavering around changing from one attitude to another with barely a breath and a refusal to answer simple questions. Did the man have a question phobia?

Piecrust wavered even further and reached out a hand as if trying to find some support. Zaraki grabbed it and pulled the man close glaring down into his face. Trying not to rip his arm off, he hissed down at the man, "What fighting moves do you know?"

A shudder ran through his subordinate as the question was asked and he started to pant harshly. This man was supposed to help him win a challenge and he seemed to be having trouble breathing. Pity it wasn't a permanent problem.

Stung with impatience, Zaraki shook him and thundered, "What the Hell is wrong with you, idiot?"

Instead of answering the man slumped in his grasp, leaning fully on Zaraki who pushed him away, not wishing for the close physical contact. Without the support, Piecrust fell to the ground.

The blond guy with the glasses from 4th Division, Zaraki couldn't be bothered remembering his name, ran over to the still figure and held his wrist and then tried to open an eye. When he'd finished his weird ritual he stood and addressed Nemu, not even glancing at Zaraki. "Yuki Hisutanga has fainted."

He heard some of the observers titter at the information, but they quickly quietened. No one should be able to find that funny. Embarrassing, annoying and dumb, yes. Funny, no. At least not for him.

This made teaching the guy a new fighting move in an hour problematic. If he was unconscious he couldn't learn anything even if Zaraki knew what move he might be able to comprehend. Why had he fainted? He'd reacted badly each time the word fighting had been mentioned. It made him recall an earlier conversation he'd had with Piecrust when he was trying to teach him how to fight. Something about the idiot being afraid of fighting. At the time Zaraki had been using the insult to goad him into trying to fight. It had worked, to a small extent. The moves he'd seen the guy demonstrate at the time couldn't be the full extent of his abilities. He'd made a piddling effort to fight back, but had he seemed a little scared?

There couldn't be anything to it. Anyone who chose to join 11th Division couldn't be afraid of fighting. Yet, the reason he was in 11th Division was because he was the son of the former Captain. Was this a form of punishment for killing the man? Putting his son under the command of the one who had fought and killed him? Had the guy even chosen to join 11th Division? Was he given a choice? Sure, he'd said he chose to join and begged to remain, or at least refused to leave. Not that Zaraki had any choice now in getting rid of the man thanks to the Old Man. Until now he thought he'd had enough bad luck having Moustaches in his Division, but he was a real Shinigami compared to this pathetic piece of debris.

Maybe he'd be good at filing. Trusting him to complete paperwork would be foolish, and the only real damage he could do with that job was to misfile the papers or inflict life threatening paper cuts. Moving the filing to another building on the edges of Division 11 would keep him out of Zaraki's sight and be beneficial to both of them and limit the paper cuts to himself. Of course it would mean he couldn't teach him to fight, but if the man acquired at least one useful skill, it was better than his current lack of competence. The original thought to use him as Hollow bait wouldn't work. While he had enough reiatsu to become a Shinigami, there was no guarantee that any Hollow might be attracted.

"Can the man be awakened?" Ise asked.

Looking down contemplatively, Zaraki doubted the possibility. Even if he could be woken, he might faint again. It wasn't fear of fighting. It must be fear of his Captain that made him faint, which was only to be expected. Many people feared him because he didn't accept their standards and rules. Being taught a move by a man who'd defeated him without much effort had made the man fearful and scared of being shown to be incompetent in front of such a large group of Shinigami. If he failed, he'd never be able to live down the shame. Each person who witnessed the event would tell others. This must be the reason for the fear and the collapse. His ego couldn't take the imagined ridicule.

"I doubt it. The man isn't responding to..."

A large shower of water from Zaraki's left poured over Piecrust and the 4th Division officer. The blond man who had been speaking before he was drenched with water, shook his head, wiping the streaming water from his face, his mouth open ready to express his opinion of the incident, while Piecrust stirred and opened his eyes.

"Why did you do that?" The blond man asked with a mixture of deference and anger.

Madarame stood grinning, the bowl from which the water had issued in his hands. "Wakey, wakey, Flower. Time to rise and learn."

Zaraki tried to suppress the laugh, but gave in quickly, joining the others who had found amusement in the incident. Both men targeted by Madarame, were now standing, water dripping from their clothes, hair and noses. The 4th Division officer, Iemura, that was his name, was trying to rid himself of the water by wringing his clothes, and wiping his face with his sleeve, while Piecrust looked bewildered, lost and scared.

Scared again. Was he scared of water? Did he think he'd melt? That wasn't possible as he'd invaded the women's bath house which had resulted in his most recent injuries.

"Yuki Hisutanga, are you well enough to continue?" Ise was standing a few metres from the man, obviously unwilling to get close enough to get wet from Iemura's attempts to get dry.

Piecrust swallowed and glanced nervously at his Captain and then Madarame. "No. I feel sick."

"You don't look sick. If you make me lose this, Piecrust, you'll be confined to your quart..." Zaraki broke of as a hopeful look began to cross the man's face. "You'll be personally trained by Assistant Captain Yachiru, without supervision," he finished.

There could be no mistaking the effect of the threat. The man not only flinched, he shook and seemed again ready to faint.

"What is your problem?"

Zaraki wanted to know the answer, but he hadn't asked the question, nor had Ise. Madarame had discarded his more usual laid back approach, which seemed to happen frequently with Piecrust than anyone else, and had his face close to the man of whom he was asking the question. The tension was evident in his shoulders and the laughing man who'd thrown the water seemed to have vanished.

Instead of a Shinigami he had a liability. One that seemed to affect his senior officers with anger and a seeming desire to either hurt or kill him. Piecrust wasn't any use to anyone.

"I don't have a problem," he paused and then shook his head. " I do have a problem. You're all trying to kill me!" Piecrust's voice wavered and rose in pitch, nearly cracking on the last word.

Not even trying to resist, Zaraki rolled his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. The man thought they were trying to kill him? It was sheer garbage! Anyone marked for death by a member of the 11th Division wouldn't be standing there making stupid accusations...aside from Ichigo and his friends. He had to be fair and exclude them from the generalisation. The person marked for death, would be, well, dead. No longer a problem to anyone.

Piecrust was nothing like the Ryoka. Madarame had wanted to kill him the first time he'd drawn his attention, but killing new arrivals, fun while it lasted, caused problems. Retrospect indicated it had been a bad choice not to do so, but they had to live with the current situation.

"Why would anyone want to kill the comic relief?" was the simple answer Madarame posed.

A small silence was followed by loud laughter. The onlookers hooted and catcalled at Piecrust while a few member of 11th Division stood, their hands on their zanpakuto's.

"Shut up, Pie... Hitsutanga." This had gone too far. Some of the crowd laughed, others were ready to take him at his word and kill him, or so it appeared. "No one wants to dirty their blade with your skin. It would be a waste of effort, as it's be easy enough to snap your neck with my thumb."

The man reeled back at the words, reaching out his hands as if to fend off a potential attack. "No. That would be an ignoble death."

"I said I could, not I would. Blast! I'd sooner try to explain the finer points of bloody Go to a tortoise than talk to you and I don't know how to play Go." Zaraki knew he sounded frustrated which was fine with him because he was. If other people knew, that was okay by him as well. Why hide the fact a person irritated you to Hell and back?

"I know how to play Go." Piecrust seemed proud to admit this. How dumb could one man be?

"I don't give a flying frig if you can play Go!"

Piecrust looked offended. "I'm quite good at Go. I've won a few times."

Zaraki sighed in exasperation. They were so far off the topic of fighting skills it was hard to trace how they got there. Deciding to try once more he said slowly and loudly, "Show me the fighting moves you know."

He saw a blur and heard a distinctive thud. Piecrust had fainted again.

Staring at the prone body he wondered if he should kick him conscious. It might not help wake the man up, but it would make him feel better to get rid of some of the building frustration. The challenge was a farce. Then he thought of something. "Ise, is this time counted toward the hour?"

Her brow furrowed. "I will have to check with the judges," she said after scanning the rules. "Fainting is not specifically mentioned. Excuse me, please." After a slight bow she walked to the table where the judges sat and conferred with them in a low voice.

"It can't be counted," Atonomatsuri assured him. "It would be against all reason. If you wait, there will come nectar - like fair weather." The bird paused and then coughed gently. "You may not see the value in what I say now, but later it will be proven true."

She was right. He didn't see any sense in waiting for nectar in this situation. Anyway, nectar was like honey, wasn't it? Sweets were okay, but he preferred savoury food, not sweets drenched in honey or sugar syrup. And the weather was fine. Not raining, not too hot. A couple of clouds in the sky. Did she have a problem with the weather now?

If she was right about the lack of sense to her adage, could she be right about the time not being counted? He kept his eyes fixed on the judging senior officers and there appeared to be a disagreement brewing. It was clear, even from where he was standing, Hitsugaya was disagreeing with Iba and Ukitake. The three judges who had presided over his win at staying awake had obviously been chosen originally for this challenge, but had substituted when too much time had passed. Had the lack of sleep made the kid captain whiny and uncooperative because he needed a nap?

"He's a very good officer and Captain of his Division is Toshiro Hitsugaya. Tries to improve his abilities, does his paperwork and talks nicely to his zanpakuto," Atonomatsuri chided him, making him realise he's been muttering comments under his breath.

It didn't matter what the bird said about other people. It didn't affect what was happening and he could see Hitsugaya was shaking his head with determination as Ukitake talked to him. Hitsugaya seemed to state his case and Ukitake again spoke at length. Ise waited, her arms resting at her sides, appearing uninterested in the outcome while the discussion continued.

Shifting his weight he stared at the Captains, trying to work out if they would come to a conclusion soon, or if the debate would be lengthy. Every time he started a new challenge there was delay and problems. No one seemed prepared for questions or anything out of the ordinary but were prepared to argue and waste time. That was the problem with this place. When he wanted to waste time he was told he was lazy. When other people made him wait, they had all the excuses and treated him like he was being unreasonable to have expectations.

Hitsugaya was shaking his head again and had crossed his arms across his chest while lowering his chin slightly. The kid was being stubborn and refusing to give way on whatever it was. Ise spoke once more and the 13th Division captain and the Assistant Captain of 7th Divsion looked at the 10th Division Captain who resolutely shook his head in answer to a further question. Ukitake shrugged and spread his hands as if he could nothing more. Iba stroked his moustache and said nothing further while Ise nodded and turned and walked swiftly toward Zaraki.

"This time will be counted toward the challenge. An hour was allocated for each of you and three quarters of the time has now passed," Ise refused to meet his gaze as she spoke. From this it seemed she was not happy with the decision, or possibly she was. It didn't matter.

Instead of feeling anger, resignation consumed him. The whole bloody, frigging, stupid, wretched challenges, the remaining ones of the stipulated eleven, stretched before him like a dark tunnel, exposing him to ridicule and exposure that he didn't wish for, or require. He hated feeling resigned to anything. Giving in was not an option. Drawing back his foot and kicked out at the ground, 'accidentally' kicking Piecrust in the side. Why waste a good thought or a possible action. 15 minutes to try and teach the twit a fighting move. He'd try his damndest.

"Wake up," he ordered with little hope the guy would pay any attention or wake up. "Get another bowl of water," he told Madarame as an afterthought. It worked once. It might work again.

The shower of water only caught Piecrust this time and he rolled onto his side and coughed, water running from his nose and mouth. "You are trying to kill me, by drowning me."

"If I wanted to drown you, I'd hold your head in the bowl and whree's the fun in that?" Madarame said as he grimaced at the man. "Get up, stop fainting and show our Captain your fighting moves. Get to it."

"No," Piecrust moaned.

Moaned? One of his Division members was moaning about being told to show his fighting moves. Most of them would be proud to show off their abilities, but then Piecrust had to be different. His suspicion of the man's fear of being mocked was growing slowly stronger.

"Don't make me. Please, Captain. Not here. Not now," Piecrust whispered.

The sound was quiet and Zaraki had to bend close to hear him.

He struggled with the desire to drag the man to his feet and shake him again. It would make him look bad in front of this number of people and confirm many stories that were told of him. Did it matter? Then again, the Old Man wouldn't like it and there might be an issue from his earlier shaking and the recent kick. Was it fair he couldn't treat his subordinates the way they deserved? What could the Old Man do that was worse than this stupidity he was forced to undergo? Put him in a cell again? At least he'd be able to sleep and not be the constant centre of attention. No more challenges, no more stupid polishing of silver, playing bloody guessing games or whatever things were planned for the future. Most welcome of them all was not having to stand next to the Clown Captain every day, hearing his voice complain about whatever insult or slight he imagined he'd been dealt. Hope flared and failed. Money was being made, people were being entertained and it was a way to distract everyone from the defeat at the hand of the Ryoka, the departure of the traitors and the coming war. Training everyone might be a better plan, however he wasn't in charge. His input might not be welcome.

Asking the man to show him was as futile as trying to stop the bird using adages. Instead he'd take the initiative and ask specific questions. It might take time, but it was the only choice he had unless he was prepared to accept failure before the time was up.

"Here and now. It has to be here and now. Ah, bugger this. Do you know how to feint?" As soon as he asked, he knew he'd made a mistake. The man had proven he could faint, at least twice in the last three quarters of an hour. "Forget that."

Feinting was a relatively easy move to learn. He had to select something the man might not know, but wasn't quite so basic. A defensive move was best but the man could block, not well, but Zaraki remembered seeing him do so. A better blocking move that could be taught in fifteen minutes? There weren't any. Frantically his mind began to search through all the moves he knew.

"Can you roll?" A roll was pretty basic, effective to dodge a blade, but basic. Not every person liked to use them.

"I can." Piecrust asserted.

A movement behind the man drew Zaraki's attention to Madarame who was shaking his head. "No, you can't. I've asked you to roll during training and you failed each time."

"Right, you're learning to roll; now. Don't bother opening your mouth to bleat out your complaints. We have 10 minutes."

Zaraki went and retrieved one long and one short wooden sword, handing the short one to Piecrust. There wasn't much point in giving him a sword anyway if he was learning to roll, but perhaps it might make him feel a little more comfortable to have something in his hand. "The short sword will make you work harder. Each time I try to hit you, roll. Understand?"

The man paled, opened his mouth, swallowed and then slowly nodded. Zaraki carefully not televising his moves, thrust his sword at Piecrust and whacked him on the side of the head.

"You could have ducked that, jerk."

Moving back he pushed his sword without intent at the man who ducked but didn't roll. He didn't frigging roll! "I said roll, damn it!"

He paced away from, disgusted at the inability to follow simple instructions. Suddenly he rushed at the standing Shinigami who looked around as if trying to find a way to escape. Zaraki didn't even try to hit him. Instead he stood close, crowding him as he bent down. "Roll."

Stepping back, Zaraki plunged the sword toward his stomach. The man moved back, but again didn't roll, earning a sound punch which made him double over, gasping for air. He retched and clutched at his belly almost falling to his knees.

"Five minutes remaining, Captain." Ise's voice reminded him again how little chance he had of succeeding.

"Keep trying, Kenny, Never say die," was the chirpy advice from Atonomatsuri, which he chose to ignore.

"Roll," a sharp thrust to the left, which brought forth another squawk.

"Roll!" a glancing blow at the groin, bringing the man to his knees and causing tears to leak from his eyes.

"Roll," and the man did. He rolled into a ball and stayed like that, refusing to get up or respond to Zaraki's commands.

"Not that kind of roll. What sort of stooge are you? Why can't you follow simple commands?" Zaraki yelled, inserting the toe of his sandal into the man's side. "What sort of Shinigami are you?"

"Time's up, Captain." Ise was standing next to him. As usual her voice didn't indicate her emotion, but her words brought him a realisation of failure. His failure.

For some reason Atonomatsuri didn't give her opinion which was the only good thing that emerged from this fiasco.

"You may not have lost the challenge, Captain," Madarame assured him. "Kurotsuchi might fail too."

"Yeah. But he won't have a subordinate like Piecrust. He'll have someone who can listen, think and act," Zaraki said in a heavy voice, not caring that the cowering man could hear him. "Maybe someone who even knows how to follow orders."

Noticing his Captain's irritation, Madarame grabbed Piecrust by the feet and dragged him away. Seeing the man disappear from sight didn't help much. The sting of loss bit sharply. He hated flipping losing. Loss was something he didn't tolerate and now everyone had witnessed his failure.

"Please follow this Shinigami. The result will be released once the challenge is complete." The request was one he knew was a disguised order and shrugged before he followed the black robed figure out of the sunlight and the noise into the darkness and relative quiet of the building behind it.

* * *

Author's Note

South America is an amazing place. Each country visited was different and unlike other countries I've visited until now. Snow covered mountains. Lakes. If I had a Facebook page, I'd publish some pictures.

The delay as expected from travelling was extended due to anger and other strong emotions roused by the blatant plagiarism of this story by a person known as Gohan, who published a barely changed version of 'Zanpakuto' as 'Attempting To Communicate' on the Bleachflame site. Imitation may be the highest form of flattery, however this almost brought an abrupt end to this story.

Thanks to Skieth who reported the plagiarism to me and reported it to the administrators on the Bleachflame site, but on checking I noticed the story is still there.

Once again thanks to:

Ancestor's Dragon, NightmareSyndrom (Poor Piecrust. So many people want him dead); HellMinion88 (Piecrust is based on a number of people I have met.); Silent Seraphim (Another vote for the Clown Captain's death?); Julie5 (Nice to hear from you again.); Evilhumour Author; Skieth (Mmmmm. Made me laugh, but it's not really a fighting move in the spirit of the challenge); GreenOnBlack (Work together. *shakes head* Sad.); Wandering the Arid Sea (Better late than the possible never); Scarlette Shizuru (Good point, but Piecrust was feeling left out.); yuki (My joke worked. Thanks for letting me know); star's dreams (Maybe I should hold a competition for people to guess which Division created each test?); abkhisek20 (We shall see.); Condor Green (Winning, losing? It's still unclear); Voidangel Soren (You are right about the great scenery in South America); RockBane (Very good points, all of them); ScriptLord (This chapter took even longer); OmniOnimous (Your politicians at least get caught); TinBuzzard (Each country was different. I liked Chile, except for their Airline, LAN.); TanithLipsky ( I am in no way like Piecrust. He is based on some real people, sadly); Rom Nom Nom (Love the name. Bankai? Not for some time); iron elsar (reason for delay above. Sorry); TequilaMan (Very little in this story is a coincidence. Thank you for your kind words); Cezar (Evil Magicsmith? I like the idea. Again, sorry for the delay)

for the reviews. thoughtful ideas and speculations.

Please review.

MS


	54. Misplaced Power

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. However, writing it makes me laugh._

**Misplaced Power**

There was food and drink on a table in the room. He ignored it. An hour before he knew if he'd lost. Damn Piecrust! The man was a joke, except there was no humour to be found in the situation. Once this was over he intended to find out what was going on. Refusing to roll! Fainting when asked about fighting moves? There would be a reckoning.

It was pointless thinking about it. He was trapped in the situation and had no method of getting out of it until a winner was acknowledged. The tedium of being stuck alone in a room with nothing to do for an hour was bad, but worse was facing the idea of completing all the challenges.

Yet, the most horrible of all to contemplate was that the Clown Captain might win. Winning would proclaim his innocence, even when Zaraki knew he was guilty, to some extent.

"Plan. Decide how to win each challenge," the bird told him.

Instead of listening to her advice or entering into yet another pointless discussion, he lay on the floor and shut his eyes. An hour's sleep was preferable to thinking or listening to the bird jabber.

"Sleep won't solve anything," Atonomatsuri said, but he ignored her.

Sleep didn't have to solve anything. It only had to come.

He must have slept because there seemed to be a firm hand shaking his shoulder and his eyes were reluctant to open.

"I'm awake," was his response. "Stop touching me."

Sitting he opened his eyes to behold the Old Man standing in front of him. "You failed to teach Hisutanga anything."

He felt like glaring, so he did. Failed to teach the man! The man was a failure and anyone who came in contact with him seemed infected with the taint. "He refused to learn."

The old man shook his head. What? This was ridiculous. Piecrust had been no help to him. Refusing to roll, provide information and not even admit that he'd done anything wrong. The Captain-General wouldn't tolerate that from any of his Captains, so why did he expect Zaraki might even let it pass in one of his subordinates?

"He can learn," Yamamoto told him, "but it is up to the teacher to make the lesson valuable."

"Great, the Old Man is starting to talk like the bird," Zaraki thought. "As if one wasn't enough."

A loud 'Harrumph' and cough indicated the bird's displeasure at his comparison.

"The fool kept fainting and wouldn't tell me anything. How was he a fair choice? Anyone else might have tried." Anyone else might have not only have tried but succeeded. Who had chosen Piecrust and why? Did they want him to fail?

Yamamoto shook his head. "You fail to see the problems he is facing."

Piecrust had a problem? Surely he meant Piecrust was the problem. And why was it important for him to deal with the problem, be it Piecrust or whatever was biting his backside, now? There would be time for that later, when he wasn't involved in some stupid set of challenges which were more like kid's games, or some of them were. The maze was pretty childish as was the guessing competition.

"The problem he is facing is he's alive and useless," Zaraki hit back with his words. "Send him out of the Seireitei. I don't care who his father was or what plans you have for him."

The Old Man looked grave. Zaraki knew he was going to tell him that it wasn't possible and probably spout on about honour and tradition. "He is a Shinigami and has to learn how to behave like one."

Yeah, true, but why make it his problem? He voiced his thoughts aloud to his superior officer, not caring much about the response. There was no point in pretending he was happy, or prepared to accept the situation.

There was a pause after he asked the question, as he expected. There was little chance he'd get a response that satisfied him but this time he wasn't going to just accept the situation. He wanted answers and good reasons why he shouldn't kill the jerk the next time he saw him. Until now he'd been denying his anger at the last challenge, trying to use sleep as a way of avoiding the building hostility.

"Captain Kenpachi Zaraki, the Kenpachi, the strongest fighter within the Seireitei, with one exception. I have told you he is your responsibility and you are once more trying to deny that responsibility. Do you wish to try your strength against mine?"

His first reaction was to accept. Fighting the Captain Commander had been a long term wish, to try his strength and skill against the man who founded this place, created the Academy. Since Piecrust had been forced on him, the urge to fight this man had only increased. He wanted to defeat him and force him to expel Yuki from the ranks of the Shinigami and back into Soul Society where he might be of some use, collecting garbage, or propping up a sagging building. More likely the guy would be propped up at some bar, bragging about his time as a Shinigami.

Even better would be permission to rid the world of the man, permanently. The seed from which he'd sprung was contaminated and it was better that the man be prevented from breeding. There was the chance he might have already inflicted his spawn on the world but Zaraki could deal with that problem, if it arose.

Repeating this conversation made him believe not all torture was physical. Every attempt to rid his Division of the crumbs that blended together made Piecrust only proved time and again that it was necessary to break him. Attempting to break the Old Man was not going to work.

Was Piecrust already broken? It'd explain what happened during the challenge.

It wasn't possible. No one broke so quickly and easily. Not if they had courage, backbone and even a little common sense.

Grimly, he laughed. "The man has no spine, bravery or sense."

"He is your Shinigami." The Old Man was as stubborn as ever but Zaraki noticed there was no denial.

"I don't want him."

"You will keep him and train him."

"No."

"I order you."

That stung. "I refuse." He'd said it. One of the few times he'd defied the Old Man and it felt good.

"You do not have that right. As you Commanding Officer I hold the ultimate authority. See sense, Captain Zaraki."

"He means it Kenny. Have you ever known him to back down?" As usual the bird was siding against him. Did every Shinigami have this problem with their zanpakuto's? Or if he managed to bankai would she become nicer? It was as likely as Piecrust learning his zanpakuto's name.

He felt his teeth clench and did nothing to stop them. "Understand me, Captain. In matters of discipline I am not interested in the rights of others. Do as you are instructed. I refuse to make idle threats."

"Yeah. I know." That was the thing that stuck in his throat. Either he put up with a talentless jerk, wasted time trying to train him or he might lose his captaincy. Did he care so much about keeping it now? "Can't this wait? Until after this stupi... these challenges are over? Or the dweeb falls over and stabs himself to death on some chopsticks?"

A squawk of laughter greeted his words. At least he amused the vulture even if it didn't make the Old Man change his mind or smile.

Aside from the laughter in his head, there was silence.

"While these challenges are continuing you cannot lose sight of your responsibilities. The man is your responsibility and his training is part of it. You will not be permitted to overlook him, now or later," Yamamoto sounded adamant.

Zaraki sighed loudly. Trying to keep focused on the weird crap he was meant to do and being pestered by the Old Man grated on him. "Okay. I give up my Captaincy. Make someone else responsible for training the jerk!"

The words were uttered in the heat of anger and he it wasn't his wish to give up his current relatively easy life, but Piecrust was becoming too much of an issue. If the Old Man was prepared to lay down the law about this, then he didn't want any part of it. Attempting to train someone with little talent and interest because his superior insisted, didn't suit him. It was time to assert his independence.

"The consequences of giving up your Captaincy will not be to your taste, Captain Zaraki."

Consequences? Yeah, of course. He had to be killed by his successor. Damn, he'd forgotten that minor point. While he wanted to get away from Piecrust, death seemed to be too much to trade off.

"Don't die, Zaraki. If you die, I die," Atonomatsuri sounded worried.

"Thought you wanted both of us to die," he shot back.

"We've reached an understanding since then. I want to see you learn to appreciate me." Her words nearly made him gag.

An understanding was a strange way to describe their turbulent interactions. She baited him and insulted him all the while spouting those bloody adages while he ignored, insulted and got alternatively frustrated and infuriated with her. Sometimes she spoke sense. Often she interrupted his thoughts and peace.

"You'd miss me?" She didn't sound certain.

"I'd be completely dead and wouldn't miss anything."

Missing the bird might prove to be the one thing to turn him onto the idea of dying.

"If you choose this path, then be aware that Yuki Hisutanga will be the only Shinigami permitted to challenge you for the position of Captain of the 11th Division."

Holy Hell! Did the Old Man mean it? Was he going to press it that far? Destroy the reputation of both the title Kenpachi, the strongest fighter in the Seireitei, and the 11th Division by giving it to the hands of Piecrust? It would take seconds for him to make a hash of the command and make his Division rank lower than 4th Division. Even if Madarame, Ayasegawa and Yachiru remained, which he doubted, how could they function under the man? It would be a matter of days before one of them tired of the twit and forced a battle to take command. Not that Piecrust posed any threat.

"He would be permitted to hold the position for 6 months before anyone could challenge him for the command."

This was going too frigging far. Protecting the man from his incompetency and letting him destroy the one thing in which Zaraki felt some pride. If Zaraki were dead, Madarame might finally accept his responsibility and accept a Captain's position and take Ayasegawa as his Assistant Captain, if he didn't try to kill the jerk. They'd both do well with power and not allow it to corrupt them or make them posers like the damned Clown Captain and they didn't have the pretensions of Captain Frosty. They'd have the support of Iba, Abarai, Retsu and possibly Ukitake. But Yachiru: what would happen to her? She'd already tried to kill Piecrust, more than once, and the insult of having him as her Captain might be enough to make her try even harder.

"Anyone attempting to kill Hisutanga before the 6 months have passed will either be executed or sentenced to life time confinement to the Maggots Nest."

Yachiru sentenced to death or to live out her youth in a place more suited to him! Anything else he might have accepted but his damned sentimentality wouldn't let him permit his friend to suffer due to the perversity of his Commanding Officer.

It almost seemed like he was reading his thoughts. Raising his eyebrows he opened his mouth to ask.

"I'm not reading your mind, Captain Zaraki. Simply predicting the way your mind is working through the problems I am setting you. It is simple logic. You have proven fear of death doesn't dissuade you from taking any action, but you care about the status of your Division and the people within it."

"You're manipulating me." The facts were clear.

"I am merely taking advantage of the situation and forcing it to serve my purpose. My duty is clear."

"Care to tell me why? Yeah, I killed Piecrust's father, but so what? The man was an evil scourge to kids, which you were careful to hide." Previous requests had gone unanswered but this time he was going to push it as far as possible.

Through tight lips Yamamoto said, "Yuki Hisutanga was one of the victims of his father but doesn't remember. The trauma he suffered has affected him and I've been advised a strong father figure is essential for him to develop."

A strong father figure? The Old Man expected him to be a father figure to a fool? Why was it his responsibility? The story was changing. He didn't get the impression he'd been lied to previously, but some facts had been withheld or not fully explained, or sidestepped. Maybe the Old Man had told him some things that weren't true to protect some information, but now it seemed he was going to reveal the real reason. This was unusual tactics from his commanding officer who normally directed and expected immediate obedience, but now more information was forthcoming which changed the situation dramatically. There had to be more behind the interest in Piecrust, and this time he was going to push it, but waited for the words he knew were coming.

"Your relationship with Yachiru made you the logical choice. Despite the violence of your nature, you put aside many of your inclinations to care for the baby and then the child. Then there is the matter of your performing an act of recompense for the murder of the man's father."

"Murder? Sounds like something Tosen would say. I killed the man in a fair fight according to the rules." He hated the reasons given as to why he was chosen. Every retort he thought of sounded like an excuse. The trap had been expertly woven; the net didn't have a hole big enough for him to break through. The cords used to weave it were stronger than steel.

"Why is it your responsibility? So what? He's the son of a former Captain! Big flipping deal."

"His mother is my second cousin's niece."

Family! That was the real reason. All the other reasons were convenient. At least the jerk wasn't the Old Man's illegitimate son because that would have been too uncomfortable.

"I didn't know about the relationship until she left her husband. I have no interest in any people in the Seireitei unless they are Shinigami."

Too many freaking coincidences. "Didn't your second cousin tell you?"

Yamamoto shook his head firmly. "Family are not important, or should not matter in the Seireitei."

"But this matters to you."

"I was the man's commander and didn't know about his perversion. As a Commanding officer I failed." The man spat out the words, obviously angered by the admission. "If you tell any living being about this, the flames of Ryujin Jakka will engulf you."

"What about the other children? Do they get ignored?"

Yamamoto's eyes shot open and he glared at Zaraki, pinpoint flames dancing in the pupils of his eyes."None of your business!"

A small smile twisted Zaraki's mouth. "Family does matter." It felt good to confront his Commanding Officer with his unspoken references. He didn't remember his family, but now had a new one.

"He is the last of those who were abused to be assisted. The others adapted well, but he hasn't responded to any treatment. He doesn't remember. The man has the firm belief his problems can be directly related to other people's jealousy and the actions they take against him."

Zaraki's guts ached as he understood the meaning behind the demands. Yamamoto was trying to address the problem discretely and had succeeded in all but one case. It was hard to do good deeds in secret and not be misunderstood by any person who was not aware of all the facts. The man was being noble but didn't want anyone else to find out. What was so bad about trying to help others?

"I'd hoped you might see some promise and train him. None of his teachers gave me any encouragement." The tone flatly indicated a simple but unpalatable statement of fact. The admission obviously grated on the Old Man.

It was too easy to believe the words. "Did you get him into the Academy?" He wanted the truth.

"No, he qualified, barely, but he did qualify to join and passed, at the bottom of the year."

Yamamoto voice lowered with each word he spoke. His discomfort at revealing any of this was highly noticeable.

"You should have told me."

A hard, cold laugh and then nothing.

He thought of saying something, but decided to wait. Pushing at the Captain-General never got anywhere unless it got him into trouble.

Minutes passed and he still waited. Impatience flared as the time passed, but he tried to remain calm and repress his desire for acknowledgement or see some indication of possible regret.

"You were the logical choice. When you take an interest in one of your subordinates, they end up doing great things. Look at Renji Abarai!"

A compliment? The old man never handed out compliments, only criticism and anyway, it was misplaced. "Madarame helped Abarai."

The close scrutiny to which he was subjected made him shift uncomfortably.

"Your third seat listens to your orders, even the unspoken ones."

What the hell? He'd never said anything to Madarame about Abarai, except to mention the guy might require some help settling in and suggested he show him the ropes. After being thrown out by Aizen, Zaraki didn't want to make the man develop a rational fear of Captains and kept away from him as much as possible. Madarame had done well and encouraged the guy, helping him get over the screwed up suggestions Aizen had implanted.

Quickly he dismissed the recollections, lifting and dropping his shoulders quickly. "Nothing to do with me. Madarame wanted to help out a guy in trouble."

"Hisutanga has potential," before Zaraki could say anything in response, he held up his hand and continued. "Not a vast amount, but some."

At least he'd dropped the subject of Abarai.

Now it was Zaraki's turn to give a bitter laugh. "Potential? Never seen any sign of it."

"Were you looking?"

The harsh crack of the question made him pause. New recruits? He'd not really taken the time to observe them, thinking to give more responsibility to Madarame by letting him take charge. What little he had observed wasn't much as he was only considering their fighting skills and Piecrust had shown no aptitude.

"The man is not a fighter."

"No."

Even the Old Man agreed he wasn't a fighter? Then why was he putting him through all this garbage? Misplaced family feeling or his usual stubborn insistence of his rules being paramount?

"Then why..."

"He could be a promising fighter. All he needs is some encouragement."

"That's not what you said earlier." He'd already admitted Piecrust wasn't a fighter and then suggested he could be. Was he purposely trying to be confusing, or hiding something?

A startling thought crossed his mind and he spoke before he could censor his words. "He's not good at kido. That can't be it. Fighting, kido..." His mind was working fast. "Kendo. Not frigging likely. He's got no charisma, so that can't be it. The only thing he could lead is a new born puppy; a mentally challenged new born puppy, who was blind."

"Captain Zaraki, may I remind you he is in your charge."

Without meaning to Zaraki snarled. "Yeah, my charge but I can't do anything with him. Can't get rid of him, can't teach him, and can't even kill the fool. And now you're hinting at some imagined potential. Get to the point."

There was no mistaking he'd hit a nerve. Yamamoto didn't flinch, but he did take a noticeably deep breath. "See it as a challenge," the Old Man finally said. "The hardest one you might ever face."

The meaning was clear. "You don't think I can do it."

"Until now there has been no evidence you're trying."

"Because I haven't."

The nod he received made him realise the whole conversation had been leading to this point. His superior was wily and manipulative, but he worked toward achieving a result.

Why? He'd made the admission before, but was it the tone of conciliation he used? Conciliation? Hell! Was he accepting he had to try to help Piecrust? Previously there had been half hearted acceptance, but this was possibly the first time he meant it.

Raising an eyebrow, he frowned heavily. "I can't teach him anything if I'm not Captain of 11th Division."

"It never crossed my mind to replace you. Insubordinate you may be and you overlook a large amount of the duties required of a captain, but no one has ever managed to inspire the Division and make the bunch of grunts into a cohesive unit."

Another compliment? This was getting more disturbing. Compliments from a person he respected threw him off centre and made it difficult to remember his legitimate problems with the situation.

"You were the one who made the suggestion about finding a new captain for your Division, but it is unacceptable to me."

Thinking it through, there were a few conditions he might state which could release him from this task, but if they didn't he'd have to train the pain. "I'll try to make something more than a pig's ear out of him on a few conditions: he only answers to me: you tell him he has to obey my orders without argument or hesitation and you can't interfere."

A tiny shift in the man's posture gave him a clue about incidents and conversations of which he was unaware, but now was not the time to ask the question.

"If he's an 11th Division Shinigami, then he has to start acting like one and not faint or cry, or go running home to Mummy."

Again a slight shift provided some confirmation.

Yamamoto cleared his throat. "Agreed. He will answer only to you or your deputies. There will be no further communication between him and his family until you provide your agreement."

Confirmation. Piecrust had been attempting to manipulate the situation, not directly but in using his mother and her possible influence over Yamamoto. It was a touch more subtle than Zaraki expected of him, but using people to sway others left a bad taste in his mouth. From the reactions of the Shinigami who knew him he wasn't terribly successful, but given time, inclination and the honing of his abilities, he might rely upon his ability to manipulate others.

Like Aizen.

Was the Old Man hinting that the powers contained within Hitsutanga's zanpakuto similar to those wielded so treacherously by Aizen? That if the man bothered to learn the name of his zanpakuto and use it as a proper weapon instead of a stick, the power might corrupt him? He had little character, not much backbone and couldn't hold his own in a fight, but if he had access to that kind of power, without the right discipline and training he might turn out worse than of the traitors who had already emerged. Villains with weak characters and low standards were more annoying than those who showed cunning and appeared to be exempt from the common sense practised by the logical kind.

"How do you know? I thought no one knew the potential power of a blade except the rightful owner. You didn't even know about Aizen." The question had to be asked. If they knew the power of the zanpakuto, then Aizen would never have managed to hoodwink everyone for so long.

The Old Man coughed and looked at the ground for a moment. Then raising his head he spoke quietly. "12th Division secretly developed a method of assessing the potential power of zanpakuto's. It can only be used on Shinigami who have not formed a close bond with their blade and has only been in use since the latest graduation from the Academy."

Too many things seemed to be developed secretly. Now he knew all the reasons he'd been landed with the jerk and had to train him. Even though the reasons were good, it still stuck in his craw he'd been forced to work with the guy.

"I want it in writing. A letter sent to Piecrust telling him to obey my orders without question. I have to have the right to discipline him as I see fit and he's to be banned from 4th Division. Every time he goes there I get grief from Captain Unohana." A slight exaggeration, but Piecrust had been using 4th Division as a way of getting away from trouble.

Captain Yamamoto nodded. "I will also concede to you request regarding the challenges. They take precedence over Hisutanga, but once they are complete you will have to provide me with a report at the end of every week and a demonstration of his improvement within a month."

There was a pause and Zaraki quietly breathed a sigh of relief. Yes, the challenges were a pain in the neck, but preferable to working with the fool. Now he wished they might last longer.

He was drawn back to the discussion by a quiet cough and the Old Man added, "By the way, he is to be commanded not to work on learning his zanpakuto's name. The excuse will be he has to learn to handle a blade before he becomes friends with it. Train him with wooden or bamboo blades. Keep his interaction with his zanpakuto to a minimum."

"What sort of power does that zanpakuto have, Kenny? I never thought I'd hear the Commander General issue this sort of order." Atonomatsuri sounded very curious and slightly worried.

"I don't know, nor do I want to find out. He hasn't shown any interest in it yet and he's lazier than I am. Maybe it won't be a problem."

"Maybe." The bird didn't sound too certain and seemed to pick up on his own feelings.

"He will be kept in confinement and away from his zanpakuto until the end of the challenges as punishment for the bath house incident. That may placate some of the affected parties."

This at least removed the niggling concern he'd begun to form that the jerk might learn something about his blade. All the same, the time after the challenges didn't promise to be any fun. The one relief was Yachiru wouldn't try to kill him again for bugging her, or for his bigger sin of simply existing.

A loud knock was followed by the entrance of Assistant Captain Choujiro Sasakibe. "The time is up for the challenge. Captain Zaraki, would you please accompany me so the winner may be announced?"

"Yeah, whatever," Zaraki said. He pushed all other thoughts from his head. If Kurotsuchi won he'd be in a bad mood and want revenge against the person responsible. Now the Captain-General had given his assurance that he'd be in complete charge of the man, there might be some interesting ways to show Piecrust the gratitude he deserved, while training him. The first thing he needed to learn was his actions were his responsibility and he would have to suffer any consequences. Cleaning 11th Division's latrines for a week might be a good start.

With a grim smile on his face he followed the man and faced the judges table, hope almost fading when he saw the smug look on the Clown Captain's face. All he needed now was to hear his loss confirmed.

* * *

_Author's Note_

This chapter was delayed by another overseas trip and is dedicated to Tequila Man for persisting in his attempts to remove the incorrectly posted version of this story successfully and finally from Bleachflame.

Within the next few weeks I will commence studying for a Diploma in Information Technology which may impact the time I spend on writing, or not. I hope not, but learning to code might be fun, though one of my family members jokes he prefers VB, the beer to VB the code.

Thank you to Rockbane (Piecrust and competent in the same sentence? Scary thought.); ldztec (Piecrust has more than one problem, aside from breathing); Nate Grey (Hope this explains some of the back story); OBSERVER01 (Possibly things went wrong for Zaraki?); TinBuzzard; Scarlette Shizuru (I hope your name isn't Yuki); Ancestor's Dragon (Can Piecrust help but be this way?); Sailor Moon20114486 (Most of the characters in the story seem to hope Piecrust will die); Wandering the Arid Sea (I have created a Facebook page under the name Magick Smith and will upload some photos soon) ScriptLord (Sadly I have worked with people who are nearly as incompetent as Piecrust); Lyell (If I had your email address I'd have replied to your review, but thanks for the support and a landslide win is boring) and Kaiyira (There always seems a good reason for the delays) for the reviews.

Please review.

MS


	55. Fat Chicken or Sick Duck?

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. However, writing it makes me laugh._

**Fat Chicken or Sick Duck?**

The announcement of Kurotsuchi's win didn't bring forth loud cheers. There was token applause, and all the while Zaraki tried not to snarl too noticeably. Damn Piecrust had made him lose and now he had to train him. Instead of making it seem like a reward, the man would know it was punishment because Zaraki was determined he would force him to leave or seek enrolment in another Division. Either that or the man tried to learn some technique. Or he might die.

He'd known he would lose almost as soon as he saw who he was meant to train. Then something the Old Man had told him struck home. If he had chosen the other possibility, helping Piecrust learn the name of zanpakuto, it could have led to disaster! Unless no one expected him to choose that option, or they didn't think Piecrust was capable. Why did he give the warning when he could have chosen that option, or was he predictable?

The whole problem revolved around who had chosen the subordinates. Once this was over he would find out and repay them in kind but not kindly.

Oh, what the hell. He was going to be saddled with Piecrust no matter what and he knew it was highly likely completing all the challenges might be necessary to satisfy Kurotsuchi.

"We are now moving to the next challenge," Ise announced and once more the judges left the table. Hitsugaya didn't look in his direction but Ukitake shrugged slightly once he caught his eye. Did that mean he'd attempted to convince the younger man to give him more time? What was with him?

At the same time his spirits lifted slightly. If they finished another challenge then there might be an end in sight. Then he could return to normal life of sleeping, fighting and arguing with Atonomatsuri. The last thought shocked him. When did arguing with Atonomatsuri become part of normal life and why was he even including it as something he enjoyed.

"I knew you were beginning to like me," the bird said.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind," he grumbled, annoyed she might use it against him.

"You practically shouted it aloud. I can hear when you think really loudly."

Which raised the question, how did you think loudly? Wasn't all thought about the same decibel level? Before he could ask any questions he heard Ise clear her throat and he decided he might as well listen to her. The bird wasn't going anywhere, blast it!

Ise stared at both Zaraki and Kurotsuchi as the new judges filed in. He noted the 10th Division's Assistant Captain, the 4th Division's Assistant Captain and the 2nd Division's Captain. All females? An inward groan was his immediate reaction. It was going to be something heavily weighted on the female side. Logic? Tatting? Flower arranging?

Tables were brought in and pieces of paper were arranged on top as seats were placed. Paper? Paperwork! How could anyone use this as a challenge? But there were no pens.

"The challenge is quite simple. Assistant Captain Sasakibe will demonstrate how to fold a simple origami figure: a crane. You will then be given half an hour to recreate the figure. The Captain who produces a crane closest to the model provided by the Assistant Captain will win this challenge."

The need to let his jaw drop was nearly overwhelming. Bloody origami! He'd never even attempted to fold paper into anything that resembled anything else. He'd tried to shred paper, mainly the paperwork, but that didn't help. Folding paper was for people who didn't have any real abilities. He fought, not folded. A zanpakuto was something you held and used; it was solid and dependable, not a flimsy wisp of a thing that crumpled if you treated it too rough, ripped if you exerted any force or tore apart if you got it wet. Paper was fragile and he didn't have the delicate touch required to fold the damned stuff. The calluses on his hands and fingers make delicate manipulation difficult.

A quick glance at Kurotsuchi's face didn't reveal how the man felt about origami. He was used to working with flimsy, tiny things. But at the same time, did he have to do much folding of paper to perform his weird experiments?

Sasakibe, in all his rigid fake British formality, walked to the front of the tables, his lips stretched into some rictus of a smile. Was he enjoying this? Earlier he appeared to like the attention paid to him when he was filling in for Ise and now he was in the spotlight again. All eyes were on him and until he finished making whatever contorted shape out of paper Ise said. A crane. Would it be able to fly? That might be interesting; to make a thing out of paper that if thrown flew.

"I bet it won't be that cool," he thought to Atonomatsuri.

"I can fly," she answered with more pride than he expected.

Stifling the laugh that rose from her comment he shot back, "You can barely keep airborne and you're almost too heavy to get off the ground."

Was her beak grinding? "Ha! Don't imitate the fly before you have wings. You can't fly, at all."

"Nearly," he said.

"Pigs might fly, but they are most unlikely birds," she said, still unhappy.

It seemed a little harsh. "Are you calling me a pig?" Was he hurt? Did her opinion of him matter enough for these words to make him feel bad? No. It didn't matter.

"If the cap fits, Kenny boy."

"I don't wear caps. My hair is my hat." Even as he said it, he knew it sounded stupid.

"No, your hair is an eyesore and gel manufacturers everywhere would mourn your demise. How many tubs of it do you use a day? Oh, why am I asking the question? I know. It must get expensive Ken Ken."

Ken Ken? Did she spend all her time thinking up stupid adages and horrible nicknames?

"My money, my choice, Sewage." He'd have to think of a better nickname. "Why. Do you want something?"

"Just my life back, Ken Ken. Just my life."

"Your life and mine are on hold until these challenges are over. You know it, I know it, and probably even Piecrust knows it, though I doubt it." Bitterness shaded his voice. Acceptance of his role of champion of the Seireitei had lead to this and he'd had no choice. His stupid plan to discredit the 12th Division Captain due to the man being a pain put him here.

Ultimately he was responsible for this predicament and he didn't like the idea.

It was the bird's fault, or someone else. It had to be the vulture. Until she insisted he started thinking, planning and acting on the plan wouldn't have crossed his mind or he'd have run out of drive to follow through. Or he'd have napped a lot more. He wished he could have a nap now instead of being faced with the horrors of folding a piece of paper.

Reluctantly he sat at the table as indicated by Ise. The paper placed there looked like ordinary paper yet he decided not to touch it until he watched the Assistant Captain twisted the paper around.

A small, excited sigh drew his attention to the man who was waiting for his attention. How anyone could be excited about demonstrating their feeble attempts to form paper into anything eluded him, but recent events were proving that everyone had different ways of enjoying their time.

"Watch carefully. I will show you only once," the man said.

That'd be right. He'd show them once and if Zaraki blinked, he'd miss the most important fold.

As he folded the paper, Sasakibe explained each fold, outlining the importance of keeping each fold crisp and the paper in one piece. He cast a wry glance at Zaraki as he mentioned it. Trying very hard to watch every move, he refused to blink or even pay attention to anything else happening.

It didn't take long for the little folded paper to be finished. It didn't look like any crane Zaraki had seen. "It looks more like you," he said mockingly to Atonomatsuri.

"I look nothing like a crane or origami. It's impossible for a piece of paper to capture my essence, my drive, my magnetic personality."

"Yeah, maybe you're right. It's much prettier than you."

"Keep it up Ken Ken and I won't help you fold the paper."

Was she suggesting she knew how to do origami? "You paper fold in your spare time?"

A small pause preceded her reply. "Not exactly."

"Then what?"

"I watched closely. How hard could it be?"

"Your time starts now. 15 minutes has been allocated which should be ample time to copy the simple fold required to complete the task." Ise sounded even more formal than normal.

"Sit down Zaraki. Wipe your hands before you touch the paper because it seems you only have one chance and one piece of paper." Atonomatsuri was attempting to keep her voice calm, or at least he thought so, but the advice was unwanted.

With a show of reluctance he wiped he hands on his sleeves with a flourish that made the people watching laugh and then sat. The paper he'd been given was green, not some girly colour, and he noticed Kurotsuchi had a piece of red paper.

"Stop admiring the paper. Pick it up and make the first fold. Focus on what you saw."

Zaraki sighed heavily. What had been the first fold? Was it a diagonal?

"That's right, Ken Ken. Now! Again!"

Following the instructions he folded the paper diagonally again and then again. He remembered that much.

"It doesn't look much like anything except a piece of paper someone folded," he said, disappointed. There had been other steps, he was sure.

"Unfold it once," Atonomatsuri said.

He did, but it still didn't look anything like a crane.

"You make one piece look like a square."

"How do I do that? Rip it?" Picking it up the paper he prepared to try and do so.

"PUT IT DOWN, Zaraki! Don't rip it!"

Shocked he let the piece of paper fall to the table.

"Okay, okay. Take it easy. It's a piece of paper. I've lost one challenge, what's losing another one? It won't matter. None of it matters. It's a damned dumb set of activities to entertain the masses while the Old Man tries to work out what we should do. He wants to remove any possible internal problem before we tackle the external ones. "

With a lot of instructions supplied by the bird, who seemed to remember some of the folds, he managed to make a square and then another.

"Why? First it's a triangle, now it's a square. Still looks like paper."

"Patience, Kenny Boy. It takes time."

"I don't have much time," he knew there was a limit, but doubted it could be completed.

With more coaching from the bird he made more folds, each one making the paper eventually making the paper into a diamond shape. His hands began to sweat slightly, making the paper less crisp.

Without being told he wiped his hands again, making certain to remove any sign of moisture. How did a diamond become a bird?

"Five minutes," Ise announced.

Five minutes? How could he have spent minutes on this and it still looked nothing like the 'crane' proudly displayed on the table in front of them?

Two failures in a row.

"Focus. We have a chance. Honestly we do. Don't give up. Here, just let your hands follow my instructions and we might do it." The coaxing tone and the list of instructions seemed simple enough and rather than give up, he did what she told him.

"Please finish now," Ise instructed.

Looking at the result of his work, it looked more like a flower than a bird.

"Quick, fold down the edges," Atonomatsuri said.

He did. Now it looked like a portly chicken.

A Shinigami collected his 'work of art' and another collected the one produced by his rival. It didn't matter who won this. There was no honour in winning this challenge, though in a way it had been slightly interesting. Probably nothing he'd want to do again. The last few days had introduced him to a number of things he had no plans of repeating, for example being in daily contact with Kurotsuchi. If he saw the man less frequently than previously, it was fine with him. Better than fine.

The three 'cranes' were placed side by side. It was easy to distinguish the one created by the First Division Assistant Captain, aside from the fact it was white in colour. There was his 'chicken' and Kurotsuchi's ... what was it? It looked like a sick duck. Which was better? A fat chicken or a sick duck?

A quick glance at the three judges showed at least two of them were smiling, slightly mockingly. Shoulders tensing, he attempted to force any emotional reaction to the background. Winning this challenge meant less than nothing to him. They had to end eventually. Eleven was a finite number and even if they padded out this thing with more stupid 'rock, paper, scissors' exercises, it had to end.

If this was over soon, they might finish another today unless it was another of those endless guessing competitions or staying awake while doing mundane things.

The judges had picked up the origami and were examining it more closely. A few folds were undone and refolded and the 'birds' were passed back and forth. Heads bent together, the women seemed intent on discussing the merits of each.

"Get on with it," Kurotsuchi muttered loudly enough for Zaraki to hear.

Until this situation had arisen, Zaraki hadn't even considered if the people around him were impatient. Kurotsuchi was proving to be bad tempered, impatient, rude and even more unpleasant than he'd expected. It was easy to see why his daughter sought friendship outside her division as the man probably handled his division with the autocratic attitude evident in the man's speech and actions.

"The result of the origami challenge is as follows," Ise's announcement drew his attention.

"Both attempts do not reflect the artistry of the original."

"No surprise there. 'I did not learn; and what I knew was far removed from their understanding.' "

"No surprise there: you used another adage."

An impatient sigh informed him that Atonomatsuri had reached her level of impatience. "I was trying to be supportive Ken Ken."

"Drop the Ken Ken and you have." If he didn't make the suggestion the bird might not know he hated the name. Oh, who was he kidding? She probably guessed he hated the name and that was why she was using it. Mentioning it to her only affirmed her suspicion.

"But Ken Ken! It's a lovely name and suits you so well."

He was struck by inspiration. "You call me Ken Ken and I call you Vully."

A strangled choking sound indicated the name might not be to her liking. It took a few seconds for her to find her voice. "Vully? Vully! VULLY!" The iteration of the name was shrieked louder and louder.

"You don't like it?" His attempt to sound affronted wasn't convincing. It'd be great once this was over as Yachiru might have lots of fun thinking up new nicknames for the vulture. It didn't matter if she liked the person, nicknames had to be given and new ones created when the old one grew boring.

"I DO NOT LIKE IT!"

At least she was answering him without the attendant adages and other word tricks she used to put him off guard.

"You know what to do."

A hissing angry sigh was the beginning of the answer. "If I stop calling you Ken Ken, will you stop calling me Vully?"

He thought for a moment. If she hated the name as much as it appeared, he might also request she cease calling him Kenny Boy. Before he had the chance to make an alternate offer she spoke sharply.

"A one-time offer only. No alterations or substitutions are allowed. He who wants a great deal must not ask for little."

Speed was essential in dealing with Atonomatsuri and not being called "Ken Ken" was a definite plus. All the same, was it a great deal or should he ask for more? Then again, the bird would often say something he didn't find relevant, or in fact quite contradictory, but when he mentioned it she'd become unhappy and make unreasonable demands.

"Okay. Deal. I'd ask you to shake on it but don't want your maggots touching my skin," he sniped.

"Why not? They match the insect infestation in your mind and are infinitely preferable to your personality," was the fraught reply.

"Captain Zaraki. Is there a problem?" Ise's voice broke through the conversation he was having with the vulture.

"Huh?"

"You were mumbling to yourself and I became concerned there was a problem. Do you wish to hear the result?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Who lost this time?" Winner or loser, as it was only a two sided competition whoever lost the other won, so it didn't matter how it was announced.

"The result," Ise paused, possibly for dramatic effect and drew in a deep breath," The result is a draw."

A sigh ran around the audience at the announcement.

Zaraki didn't even bother hiding his sigh. A draw. Neither a win nor a loss; just maintaining the balance.

"Why?" he asked.

"Neither of you completed the crane. Both attempts showed considerable effort, but also missed the vital last steps."

Six challenges completed. He'd won 4, lost 1 and drawn 1. Five challenges left which meant there was still a possibility Kurotsuchi might win. Suddenly he felt tired. All the effort and he was only 3 ahead.

"We now move onto the next challenge," Ise announced with a reasonable amount of hesitation in her voice.

Why did she sound worried? What possible challenge might pose a concern for anyone? He noticed she glanced nervously at the Captain-General as if seeking assurance. His firm nod made her swallow hard.

"Would the judges for this challenge please come forward," she almost squeaked.

Even Zaraki realised this was a method of delaying the announcement of what the challenge would be. Until now the judges had swapped over without reminder.

This time he was amused to see the 6th Division Captain, the assistant captain from 4th Division and the fat guy from 2nd Division take their places. None of them appeared to have a sense of humour which might indicate something about the challenge, or not.

Ise cleared her throat, and then cleared it once more. A small coughing fit over took her as she cast one more pleading look at the Captain-General who frowned in reply. A sharp nod indicated he wished her to get on with it.

"This will be the last challenge of today," Ise said.

She was still delaying the announcement. It was obvious and a small murmuring began in the audience. "Get on with it," a disguised voice yelled.

Ise flushed and gabbled quickly, "Drinking contest. First contestant who cannot walk a straight line after drinking each cup of sake will be the loser."

Giggles and laughter greeted this announcement, making Ise flush an even deeper red. Knowing her Captain, it didn't surprise Zaraki she found the contest distasteful, but he felt the gnawing discomfort he'd not noticed until this point grow less.

Drinking sake was no challenge for him. He was used to walking after drinking, possibly not walking in a straight line while people watched, but he'd get a drink out of it and possibly a good night's sleep. With any luck they'd be using the good sake which was a pleasure to drink.

"The drink will be ordinary drinking sake," Ise continued.

The announcement made Zaraki shrug. He was used to drinking it and it shouldn't pose too much of a problem. Then he wondered. Did Kurotsuchi drink? Obviously he drank rum as he had confiscated the drugged bottle of alcohol in Madarame's possession, but did he drink often, or only when he was in possession of something which rightfully belonged to another person? It wasn't possible to estimate the effects of alcohol on him as the rum had been drugged and would have made even the most immoderate drinker fall asleep rapidly.

For a panicked second he wondered if anyone had taken the bottle or rum, which was incriminating evidence if anyone had found and bothered to test the contents. A few seconds searching through his memories let him breathe a sigh of relief as he remembered Ayasegawa had taken the bottle and emptied the contents, destroying the bottle in the process and replacing it with a similar bottle of rum, also half full. He'd forgotten that particular detail but his 5th seat hadn't, thankfully.

"You expect senior officers in the Sereitei, Captains no less, to take part in a drinking competition?"

Kurotsuchi was protesting, as expected, but the next sentence made Zaraki cough in an attempt to cover the laughter that threatened to show his agreement.

"And then you propose we are served ordinary sake? Ordinary sake? I am affronted."

The man was complaining about the standard of the sake being offered. Didn't he understand the concept of a free drink? You didn't argue about the quality, unless it was undrinkable. Most of the complaints he normally uttered or received concerned the quantity.

"It's not a tasting competition, man, it's a drinking contest," the 6th Division Captain's mouth was downturned as he made his comment. "I have already voiced my opinion on the method of this challenge, but was ignored."

Suddenly the choice of judges made sense. If it had been possible he was certain Ise would have been one of the panel members selected.

"Do we get snacks?" Zaraki asked wickedly.

Ise looked startled at the question but more amazing was the reaction of his co-challenger. "Yes. If we are given 'ordinary' sake, we should also be given snacks to hide the flavour."

Feeling an overwhelming urge to laugh, he gave into it. Why try to hide his amusement? The situation was stupid, they were about to start a drinking competition and he hated the man who was to be his drinking partner.

"It is not funny, Zaraki. Ordinary sake is bad for my palate," Kurotsuchi sniped at him.

"Yeah, tragic. I like snacks because they help me drink more if they're salty." He didn't care what the Clown Captain said. He was making his case and they better listen.

After the interchange, Ise gave them both a strange look and went to speak to the judges. They conferred, Kuchiki, shaking his head and becoming sterner as the others talked. Even from where he stood, Zaraki could hear him say, "It will slow down the overall effect and perhaps make them drink more. To feed them is to encourage a public display of intoxication by Captains. I say no!"

"Feed them!" The Captain-General's voice cut through the debate.

Kuchiki rose to his feet so fast his chair slammed to the ground behind him. "I protest."

Turning to face the protest, the Old man leant heavily on his stick and said, "Protest noted. Now, sit down and shut up."

The 6th Division's Captain's face clearly showed his shock at the order, as he obeyed it.

"I won't accept insubordination from my captains, just as you won't accept it from your subordinates. You weren't chosen as a judge for this challenge because you'd enjoy it. You were chosen because you'd keep it honest." The voice was sharp as the Captain-General spoke pointedly at the judges.

Kuchiki inclined his head as if he was thinking the Old Man's words through and then slowly nodded as if accepting the words, with little favour.

"Bring snacks, tables and chairs," was the next order.

"Can I have someone else to drink with? I don't drink with people I don't trust." Zaraki knew he was pushing the matter, but by now didn't care and knew he would care less once the rush of alcohol hit his system.

For a moment he thought he saw his superior officers lips twist as if he were amused by the request. "No. I'm certain Captain Kurotsuchi trusts you as much as you trust him, but this is a contest, not a time for pleasantries."

One table and two chairs were rushed into the centre of the arena as the other furniture was removed. Some small dishes, bowls, sake bottles and cups were arranged and Ise indicated Zaraki and Kurotsuchi should seat themselves.

With a mild mental curse, Zaraki took his position, hoping the other man might succumb quickly to the effects of the sake, but feeling at the same time his luck wasn't that good.

* * *

_Author's Note_

Apologies to any people who have the ability to fold origami. Zaraki's opinion is not mine and I don't have his abilities in fighting either. I have trouble folding a sheet of paper to fit into an envelope and I almost framed the only successful paper plane I made, until someone threw it out the window. Despite my natural reaction, the person who did so did not follow the plane out the window as we were on the first floor and the damage to them minimal.

Once again, the story has been delayed due to family commitments. Weekends are not my own, my evenings are often spent studying and life is rushing by too fast. Oracle SQL is not my idea of fun. Life without it might be considerably more enjoyable.

Please review.

MS


	56. Effective Cruelty

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. However, writing it makes me laugh._

**Effective Cruelty**

The seat was okay, the table was stable and the sake warm. He was pleased it was warm because he'd heard once warmed alcohol was more effective at getting people drunk. He didn't care whether it was true, or not.

The sake bowls were the conventional slanted side shallow cups with a design of cranes and some flower. Maybe water lilies?

A crane. That'd be right. First they had to try and create a crane out of paper and then they were drinking out of cups decorated by a picture of the bird. It wasn't irony. Irony was unplanned. He wondered who'd decided to make a point out of reminding them they had both failed at folding paper. He grunted, stopped looking at the cup and drank the contents.

Kurotsuchi also drank and made an exclamation of disgust. "This sake is barely worth the water in which it is heated."

Ise raised her eyebrows delicately. "It was not chosen for taste. It was selected as one of the more potent varieties."

"Wait a moment. At first you said it is ordinary sake and now you state it is one of the more potent types? Which is it?" Kurotsuchi barely raised his voice, but Zaraki wondered if he was shocked.

"It is ordinary, but contains a higher proportion of alcohol," Ise explained patiently. "It should prove more efficient."

"In getting us drunk," Zaraki added quickly. "Fine by me. Don't care how quickly I get drunk, in fact the faster the better." He almost added an insult to Kurotsuchi, but something made him stop. "Do you want to test us now?"

"If you cannot walk a straight line after one cup of sake, then neither of you are Captains," the amused voice of Ise's Captain commented.

Ise gave a cool look to her superior who had wandered over and hesitated by the table. "Can't I join in?" he asked innocently.

The laughter which greeted his request did not please the judges. Kukuchi replied, "You are not taking part in the challenge."

A small but warm smile crossed Kyoraku's face. "I could be the benchmark. If I'm drunk and these two Captain's aren't then won't it prove the challenge is reasonable and not biased in any way."

Zaraki noticed Ise cheek became slightly indented, almost as if she was biting it. Time passed and Ise slowly nodded and walked over to the judges table where she spoke to them, quietly. A look of disgust passed over the 6th Division captains face and once more the Captain-General walked over and spoke firmly, but in a hushed tone. Zaraki strained to hear what was said, but the words were indistinct.

Ise returned, her eyes showing a glitter of anger as she observed her superior officer. "You may participate, but you are not permitted to interfere. Captain Yamamoto pointed out it would be wise to have one person who isn't involved to check how the two competitors are progressing."

Her Captain pushed his hat back on his head and gave her a slow smile. "Don't be unhappy with me Nanao. It's only a little sake."

She frowned at him, while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "When is it ever a little sake?"

A wounded look passed over Kyoraku's face. "Nanao. A man has needs."

Her hissed response could not be missed. "Alcohol is not a need. It's an addiction and you drink too much."

Zaraki watched the exchange with interest. It was amusing how the 8th Division Captain was both trying to appease his subordinate while at the same time stubbornly resisting her demands. It might make life interesting, if a little complicated. Once again, appreciation of his own assistant captain nudged him. She might eat her own weight in sweets and snacks but he always knew when she was trying to manipulate him. It amused him to indulge Yachiru, and when she thought she'd conned him into doing something the smile she wore made him smile in response. Watching the man cope with a dictatorial subordinate who seemed full of criticism and complaints, made him feel both smug and saddened that his fellow officer permitted this type of behaviour.

"Why does he let her get away with that?" he asked Atonomatsuri, not really thinking of the consequences.

She snorted and said sourly, "Get away with what? She's merely expressing her opinion, but then you don't like strong minded females."

"You're wrong. Retsu is a strong minded female and so is Yachiru. I hate the nagging."

"Men nag more than women," Atonomatsuri shot back. "They say they are proving a point, but it's nagging by another name."

Deciding to quit talking to the bird before she began another diatribe, he watched as Kyoraku appeared to agree with Nanao but still got his own way. It was an achievement.

"Kenpachi, Mayuri; let's drink," he said once he sat down. "I'll match you, cup for cup."

"You're one cup behind," Zaraki said grinning as he watched the man down the cup quickly.

"Not now. I've had worse sake," he shrugged. "Not often. Please pass me the pickled vegetables."

In doing so, Zaraki snagged a few rice crackers and some of the vegetables. Kurotsuchi ate some nuts sulkily while Nanao poured out more sake, with a disapproving look on her face.

"Keep pouring, woman. Speed is more important than appearance."

"Captain Kurotsuchi, I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak to my Assistant Captain in that manner. Her name is Nanao or Assistant Captain Ise, not woman," Kyoraku said mildly, or so it appeared, but the gaze he turned on the man was not in the least benevolent. Zaraki had witnessed this dangerous calmness previously and was eager to see if the Clown Captain would be careful, or foolish with his response.

The 12th Division Captain looked at him with his normal wide eyed stare, his eyes appearing like two flat discs that reflected nothing except his own overwhelming confidence. He didn't say anything and the other captain returned his stare.

"I thought this was meant to be about drinking, not staring," Zaraki said loudly. "Where's the next cup of sake?"

Ise placed the cups quickly in front of each of them, moving in such a manner that she blocked the staring. Zaraki immediately gulped his down and ate some more snacks. The only effect he felt so far was a small, warm glow in the pit of his stomach and a growing distaste for drinking with a man he didn't like. If the other captain had not joined them he might have lost his taste for sake, even the good stuff and that would have been a tragedy.

"The lovely women we are blessed to have among us do not require rude or abrupt words, but gentle, considerate actions and kind sentiments. Don't they, my sweet Nanao-chan."

A faint touch of pink touched the woman's cheeks and she dropped her eyes slightly. "I prefer politeness," she admitted.

"See, Captain Kurotsuchi. A little kindness is much more effective than cruelty or being rude." The charming smile that accompanied the words contained an even bigger warning. The small flicker of his eyes seemed to challenge the man to say something, anything which might be considered even slightly insulting.

"Subordinates have to accept they aren't in charge. The sooner they are shown their place and learn to respect the status quo, the sooner it is easier for them to accept and conform," Mayuri said loudly as he gulped his cup of sake.

Zaraki wondered for a moment and then shook his head wryly. The man couldn't be affected by two or three little cups of sake. It was his natural arrogance which was directing his words.

"Conformity is good for soldiers when they are fighting, but it makes a rather one dimensional person." Kyoraku's voice and expression were even milder; his eye reflecting a sleepy quality, but the tension in his shoulders and neck was evident.

"Yeah. Being like everyone else is boring and I don't want to dress like you," Zaraki shot at the 12th Division Captain. "More sake, Ise," and catching Kyoraku's eye he added, "Please."

The woman quickly served more sake and as one, they picked up the cups and swallowed the contents.

"Have some nuts," Kyoraku said offering him the bowl.

The offer was welcome and as he crunched the salted nuts and then ate some pickled vegetables.

"What's your favourite snack?" the man asked.

They were chatting about snacks now? Why not? Chatting was better than sitting in sulky silence with a man he didn't like, drinking sake for the sole reason of getting drunk. He had begun to enjoy the company when he drank with Retsu and the others. The conversation, the jokes and finding out a few surprising things about the people he'd lived among but hadn't known.

Then he tried to think. What did he enjoy?

"Rice and pickled vegetables. Salty crackers. Anything that has a crunch and salt is good by me," he said thoughtfully.

"Salt and crunch. An interesting method of determining snacks, but rice doesn't have crunch."

"But it takes the bite from pickles that have been seasoned too much." His stomach was no longer warm, but uncomfortable. Was mixing vinegar and sake a good idea?

Kyoraku shifted his hat off his face slightly. "True. Very true. Sake needs food. Nanao, can we have some rice?"

She had obviously been listening and shook her head gently, and in a tone more than touched with irony asked, "There are already snacks, Captain. Rice. Do you want Sukiyaki and Shabu-shabu as well?"

"Nanao, sweet Nanao, that would be very nice. Thank you for asking. A meal would be ideal." Kyoraku answered so gently her flush grew more noticeable.

"I didn't mean…. Oh, captain. Why?" Ise was flustered.

"We are hungry. We are drinking. You offered, dear Nanao. Will it be here soon?" Kyoraku gave her his charming smile.

"Yes, Captain." She rushed off and spoke urgently to the judges who again conferred in a whispered argument. Again the Captain-General interceded whispering at length and shortly a subordinate was summoned and after receiving instruction, nodded and ran quickly.

"Good idea," Mayuri said, nodding approvingly. He nodded again, and then once more.

Was the man getting drunk?

"More sake?" Kyoraku suggested pleasantly and Ise poured quickly.

The men again quickly drained their cups and Ise filled them once more and again.

Three cups later food was quickly placed on the table. How it was obtained and served so quickly, Zaraki didn't know. A woman wearing a kimono sat at the table and began preparing the Sukiyaki in the traditional way. He knew it was Sukiyaki once the bowl of raw egg in which to dip the hot food was placed in front of him. The cursory glance he gave to the woman preparing the meal didn't lead to recognition. It was possible she had been hired from one of the eating establishments where they might have the ingredients on hand. He didn't care. At least it might be a decent meal with some sake. Pity about the Shabu-shabu.

"The judges agreed to the meal as it soothes some of their concerns and Captain Yamamoto directed them to put aside their dissension. The Sukiyaki will replace your evening meal." Ise explained quietly as she poured again.

"Rice is nice," the 12th Division captain observed as he was given a bowl.

Had the man had a personality transplant? 'Rice is nice' didn't sound like anything he'd say normally. Or did alcohol make him a pleasant person? If so, the man should be permanently drunk.

Kyoraku's looked at Zaraki, an eyebrow quirked in amusement. "Rice is nice. It's even better with meat."

Kurotsuchi nodded and drank the fresh cup of sake that was poured for him. Then he sat forward and said in a confiding tone, "I'm not used to sake. I drink spirits normally. If I have sake I only have a few cups at a time."

It didn't make much sense to Zaraki. Sake had a lower alcohol content than spirits. If the man habitually drank rum or other spirits, then why was he succumbing so quickly? He had to know the alcohol content was less. He was a scientist, supposedly.

Admittedly he was feeling a little tired, but not too bad. He inclined his head as he accepted the bowl of rice and picked up the chopsticks. Shovelling the rice into his mouth his felt his stomach ease. Too many pickled vegetables.

The woman began serving the meat and vegetables. As he ate his energy returned, the food counteracting to some small degree the effects of the drink, but not enough. He was fascinated to watch how eagerly his foe was eating the food, stopping every so often to drink the sake poured.

"The contestants have now consumed 10 cups of sake," Ise announced.

Was it really 10? He hadn't been counting as the importance of the competition diminished with each mouthful of sake. He sort of cared if he won. Kurotsuchi seemed to be flagging quickly and his recent admission about his drinking habits inspired more confidence.

As he looked at the man, he noticed a switch in his behaviour. For some reason it appeared eating was restoring his sobriety and the relaxation which had so unnaturally transformed the man was replaced with his usual unpleasant demeanour. Eating wasn't having the same effect on Zaraki which wasn't a surprise. 10 cups of sake wasn't a large amount for him to consume, especially if he was eating. The main effect was the relaxation and the increasing belief that this competition, in fact all the challenges and competitions weren't important. They'd finish soon enough and life would once more return to the normal arguments with Atonomatsuri, trying to avoid paperwork and seeking a decent fight with a talented foe. The last was the one which interested him the most.

Briefly the memory that he'd promised to try to train Piecrust imposed itself into his mind and he quickly flicked it away. Yeah, training the jerk wasn't the biggest worry. How was he supposed to teach the fool to bankai when he had trouble holding a wooden sword and following simple instructions?

He drank the next cup but his mouth curled at the flavour. Instead of becoming more tolerant of the sake, he was finding it pleased him less the more he drank. Wasn't it meant to deaden the taste buds after a certain amount of time? To counteract the taste, he ate some meat. Even the sake used to cook with seemed to be more pleasant than the stuff he was drinking, or maybe it was mirin she was using. For a moment he contemplated swiping the rest of the cooking wine, but realised problems might follow.

Then he glanced again at the food. Most of it was gone. Who'd eaten the majority? He felt full, not bloated or lethargic. Ise's commanding officer looked relaxed as always as he tried to supress a small belch. Kurotsuchi did not appear contented. He was surreptitiously rubbing his stomach and moving back and forth apparently in search of a comfortable position in which to sit.

"I need to be excused," he said abruptly. "Now!"

Ise looked concerned, or was she really concerned? Why didn't she seem surprised by the request? Instead she frowned slightly and glanced at the judges and back at the Clown Captain. "I'll have to check with the judges about the rules."

Kurotsuchi lurched to his feet. The sobriety resulting from the food, which Zaraki believed he'd witnessed was all but faded. The man was swaying slightly and did not appear steady on his feet. Due to the makeup, any changes to his complexion were masked.

"I said: I need to be excused. Now!" he repeated louder and with more urgency.

Ise dashed to the judges and they conferred quickly all of them casting worried looks at the 12th Division Captain. As they talked, the man became more agitated, tensing as if he were preparing to run.

Kuchiki stood up and said loudly, "The three of you will be excused for five minutes. All of you will be escorted to the same facilities."

Three male Shinigami appeared and all of them were forced to run to keep up with Kurotsuchi who now seemed intent on breaking the 4 minute mile. Zaraki ran, but not as fast as he could. Keeping up with the rest was all he intended and arriving at the facilities, he heard a loud retching sound accompanied by the expected sounds of rejected food hitting the water's surface.

Kyoraku's face wore a wry expression and he raised an eyebrow at Zaraki. "Was it the food?"

Zaraki began to feel queasy. Was it the food, or the sake? A quick glance at Kyoraku indicated he had paled also. "I feel slightly unwell also," he gabbled as he quickly made his way to a stall.

Fortunately there was a third stall and Zaraki made it just in time. He shuddered as the food he'd enjoyed so recently was lost. A cold sweat beaded on his forehead as his stomach clenched again. The food or the sake. It had to be one of them causing this problem. Other explanations didn't cover only the three people competing being affected by the illness, but who had caused it and why?

"Captain? Captain!" Ise's called urgently from the door.

All Zaraki heard in reply was more retching and was relieved it wasn't him though the thought only lasted a few seconds before the heaving of his stomach again forced him to close his eyes and give into the unpleasant sensations.

"Captain, I'm sorry!"

Zaraki's eye's snapped open. She was sorry? Was she the cause of this nausea? Normally he only found Kurotsuchi induced a feeling a illness. What had she done?

"I thought if you were sick in public you might stop drinking so much."

At least she was honest, but the public nature of this might cause too much embarrassment to her commanding officer and the loss of face may cause a rift between them which might never heal. It stunned Zaraki that the woman had taken such a chance for a possible negative return. Was her need to convince her captain of the evils of alcohol so great she was prepared to endanger her relationship and involve other people? Not that he cared greatly about Kurotsuchi being violently and loudly ill, but he didn't enjoy vomiting.

"*Gasp*. Nanao, sweet Nanao," the speech was interrupted by another period of furious stomach activity.

How the man could address the woman in that manner while his body was wracked with convulsive spasms was beyond Zaraki's understanding.

"What… what did you use?" he eventually gasped.

"Ipecac," she admitted quietly.

He heard a sigh, which may have indicated relief. "It didn't work last time you flavoured my sake with it, now did it, sweet Nanao?"

She'd done this before? Kyoraku's forbearance astonished Zaraki. Was the woman blackmailing him for him not to have reacted without violence?

"Perseverance is more prevailing than violence; and many things which cannot be overcome when they are together yield themselves up when taken little by little," an all too familiar voice chimed in the back of his mind.

"Violence is more fun," Zaraki answered.

"Only to you," Atonomatsuri sighed.

He ignored her and returned his attention to the conversation.

"Lock that woman up immediately," moaned Kurotsuchi. "She tried to poison me."

A door opened and he heard some footsteps. "No, she won't be locked up and she didn't try to poison you." Kyoraku sounded tired but his voice was firm.

"Why..."

A new voice interrupted. "Interfering in the results of these competitions is an offence, Assistant Captain Ise. Your actions discredit you."

As hard as he tried, Zaraki had no chance of preventing his stomach from forcing out more of its contents. Mentally he shrugged. The Old Man must have guessed something was wrong and he expected the old man had experienced nausea, probably every time he was reminded he had to have another Captain's meeting.

"I will see she doesn't make the same mistake again," Kurotsuchi said, his voice blurred and croaky.

"No. She is my Assistant Captain and her actions reflect on me. Punish me, if you will Captain Yamamoto so I may make certain my Assistant Captain will understand how her decision ripples outward," Kyoraku's voice was an interesting mix of deference and amusement. Why was the man amused? Asking to be punished?

"No. That isn't fair! I made the decision and it was wrong," Ise sounded so different to her normal calm manner. Obviously any threat directed at her Captain affected her emotionally.

Would Yachiru defend him like this? No. She wouldn't sound like she was preparing to cy. Instead shed possibly sit on the Old Man's shoulder and persuade him to forget his anger and buy her some sweets instead. At least she'd try.

"Due to the illness of the contestants this challenge is deferred. I will confer with the judges as to whether it will be repeated or another challenge will be formulated to replace it," Captain Yamamoto was ignoring Nanao's pleas. "Assistant Captain Ise, your fate will be determined after these challenges are completed."

Zaraki wiped his face, removing the sweat which had covered it during the last few minutes. Tentatively he raised his head awaiting the return of the nausea, but nothing happened. He dimly heard the woman saying something about not using much ipecac in the sake, only a little.

Leaving the stall, he walked to a tap and rinsed his mouth out, ignoring the other people in the room. Why was the only challenge he'd enjoyed ending like this?

"The woman made a mistake. No big deal, Old Man. We can do this again. I'd like to do it again," Zaraki said forcefully.

He noticed one of Kyoraku's eyelids dip down, in what might be a wink. He hadn't intentionally supported the man and his subordinate, but if it worked out that way, all to the good.

"Captain Zaraki, it is not your decision, but as you are one of the competitors your request may be considered. All of you follow me." Without checking to see if anyone followed him, the man strode out of the bathroom.

Zaraki stared at Kurotsuchi who appeared to be opening his mouth to protest. "Don't. No one cares."

"I don't care if you are the Kenpachi. You can't order me around."

Zaraki smiled. He'd been feeling the need to get physical with this man with few to no witnesses. Now there might be a chance, if he could persuade the other captain and his subordinate to leave.

"Nanao, dear, sweet Nanao, will you go out and explain to our Commanding Officer that we need a little more time?" Kyoraku smiled gently while his eyes were firmly fixed on the twelfth Division Captain.

"I...Why...Oh. Yes, Captain," Ise seemed confused but she bowed slightly and left.

Without a glance at each other two Captains advanced on the third.

"Your attitude displeases me," Kyoraku said without a trace of a smile.

"I'm sick of hearing your complaints," Zaraki snarled.

Kurotsuchi tried to stand straight, but backed up a little. "What are you doing?"

"Teaching you a valuable lesson," Zaraki said while his mind raced as to what he could do which would humiliate the man but not be completely visible. Ripping his head from his neck might be noticed as would kneecapping him.

Kyoraku bent close to him and said, "It's a pity how your face has become smeared through being ill. Maybe you should wash it, or we could help you."

Zaraki couldn't stop the grin spreading across his face. Was the man suggesting something he'd only done once before. He'd done it by himself and considered doing the same thing to Piecrust in an idle moment.

"What do you mean?" Kurotsuchi shrilled, his eyes darting around as if looking for a chance to escape.

With one accidentally coordinated movement both Zaraki and Kyoraku grabbed the man who struggled hard.

"Watch out for his hands and his blood."

"I know. He's the real poison here." He'd heard that weird Quincy talk about his fight with the man and the poison he'd used.

They moved swiftly into the stall Zaraki had so recently vacated. With a swift move they upended the man and dangled his head in the bowl.

"This is childish! Only schoolchildren do things like this," Kurotsuchi protested.

Kyoraku didn't reply. Instead he flushed the toilet.

Zaraki laughed as he watched the water swirl over the man's head. Sure, it was childish but recent events had pushed him into places he'd never wished to visit. Maybe he had attempted to do something slightly illegal, but uncovered a bigger illegality. This man who they drew, dripping and coughing was responsible. He'd caused the bad blood between them. It was he who had attempted to kill Zaraki in the first place. The pain and suffering he'd caused other people, including his daughter shouldn't be rewarded with avoidance, but addressed head on and punished.

"What are you thinking, Zaraki. This is purely revenge and when you plan revenge you'd best dig two graves."

Damn the bird for working out what he was thinking. She was doing it more and more often and he didn't like it, especially when she said strange things like that.

"What do you mean?" he asked while they flushed Kurotsuchi once more. If the bird would be quiet he'd enjoy this much more. All this conversation was distracting from the squealing and sense of satisfaction he was experiencing as he meted out a form of justice.

"It's obvious. When you revenge yourself on someone you hurt yourself as well. If you kill someone in a fit of revenge there may be someone prepared to take your life in exchange." Atonomatsuri sounded once more like she was lecturing someone very stupid. Then she added, "There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness."

"How the hell is forgiveness revenge? Stop talking crap, bird. Revenge is revenge, forgiveness is something else altogether and this is justice."

The bird harrumphed. "I have never heard ducking someone's head in a lavatory described as justice, until now. Justice is where a due and designated punishment is lawfully," she mentioned the word with a great deal of emphasis, "enacted upon a person who is found to have executed a crime."

"I think that's enough, Kenpachi," Kyoraku's voice interrupted his near dispute with the vulture.

"What? Yeah."

Together they hauled the man out and handed him a towel. For once he was quiet while he wiped his face and head. Occasionally, Zaraki caught a glimpse of the man glaring at him. It wouldn't end here, but for the moment he savoured the small act of justice.

"Mentioning this to the Captain-General might be an error of judgment. Enemies are more easily gained than friends," the 8th Division Captain said, apparently to Zaraki who nodded in return.

"There will be a reckoning," Kurotsuchi said with more force and dignity than normal.

"Later," Zaraki replied. Looking at the man he saw the paint had smeared all over his face, making it look as if a child had gotten bored with only using white and black and mixed them together. "Look in the mirror."

Kurotsuchi gasped and loudly stated, "I cannot appear like this!"

He was right. Zaraki was stuck. What action was possible now?

* * *

_Author's Note_

Yes, it has been an extremely long time since this story was updated and even considering explaining the delay makes my head hurt. Anyway, no one else needs to hear about it because it is boring and personal and hopefully mostly over.

Ipecac: a substance used to induce vomiting.

Please review. However, if you want to criticise I would ask you to kindly refrain for the present.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed the story so far. I won't give a personal thank you this time as I wish to post this chapter.

MS


	57. Accusations of Tampering

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. However, writing it makes me laugh._

**Accusations of Tampering**

A knock at the bathroom door startled all of them, making them realise the other Shinigami who were meant to be watching them had left with the Captain-General. This observation pleased Zaraki as he was certain there may have been interference in the small act of vengeance again Kurotsuchi.

"Enter," he called.

The three Shinigami who had previously escorted them entered, bowed and one spoke. "We are to escort Captain Zaraki and Captain Kurotsuchi to their accommodation for the night while the judges deliberate whether there is a result from this challenge, whether it will be repeated, or another substituted. You will be taken there directly and not appear before the judges or interfere with their deliberations."

This meant there'd be no issue with the smeared make up, not that it had really concerned Zaraki to any extent. The man might have smeared his makeup while he was being ill, or washing his face afterward.

Before Kurotsuchi could protest, they were escorted back to their cells/accommodations. Zaraki glanced back at Kyoraku who was once more wearing his hat, pushed to the back of his head and a rueful smile on his face. Why was he rueful? Was he sad the challenge was over, or that he hadn't managed to defeat both of them at the competition?

A small and angry cough drew his attention to Kurotsuchi.

"Don't talk to me, Zaraki. I don't wish to know your feeble thoughts or accept your equally feeble apologies." The 12th Division Captain had turned his head away from Zaraki as he spoke.

"Don't worry. No apology." Why did he think anyone would apologise to him? He'd been irritating in the extreme as long as he'd existed and should be the one apologising for taking up space.

"You are fortunate I am not mentioning the incident to the Captain-General," Kurotsuchi whispered fiercely.

Zaraki gave a croak of laughter. "You won't tell him because it makes you look like the fool you are. You can tell who you like, but don't expect sympathy from me."

Kurotsuchi glared and his mouth turned down in an unpleasant grimace. "I don't want or need sympathy. I'd prefer justice and an apology."

Zaraki apologise to the Clown Captain? He's already said he didn't want an apology? Was he forgetting what he'd said? Or was he expecting an apology from Kyoraku or Yamamoto? If so, he was out of his head. So far he was the only person who owed anyone an apology and he seemed rather hesitant to admit his wrong doings.

Justice? If he expected that, what else did he expect? Fair compensation for work? Recognition for the people who actually did the work, but didn't take the credit? The last made him laugh as he was pretty certain Kurotsuchi was one of the people who took credit for other people's effort.

Fortunately the walk was short and Zaraki ignored any more muttered comments or threats from the 12th Division Captain. Talking to him only proved they had nothing in common, would never have anything in common and time spent in each other's company wasn't enjoyable.

Entering his 'cell', Zaraki suddenly felt tired. All the activities, interrupted sleep and vestiges of alcohol in his system combined to force him to accept that even he occasionally needed downtime. He slumped onto the bed, his eyes closing as he tried to remove his sandals. Tugging at them, trying to toe them off with his other foot didn't seem to be working. He cracked open one eye and with a lot of concentration and more effort managed to remove his shoes. Dressing down any further didn't seem necessary. He'd have clean clothes and a chance to bathe tomorrow before anything happened or he wasn't going to bother.

He was certain he heard hard loud gaping gasps during the night, but didn't let it wake or disturb him. If he was snoring, fine. Great. He'd check into it later, but right now sleep was more important than worrying about any random noises produced by his nose, mouth and throat.

Upon waking he recognised his mouth was dry and he didn't feel like he'd really slept. Today was not a day he wanted to participate in challenges which tried both his patience and boundaries. He wanted to sleep, or laze around or even have a bit of exercise, preferably by fighting someone. Instead he was faced with the stupid challenges which, aside from the brief enjoyment he had last night, were proving to be a nuisance. A damned, bloody nuisance which made him think too hard.

Lying still he rubbed his hands across his face, noticing he'd left his eye patch on all night and hadn't removed the bells or done his hair. The rasp of skin against skin was loud in the quiet of the room. Grunting, he noticed there were several objects underneath him which were causing him a small amount of discomfort. Groaning and swearing slightly he rose and picked up the objects, the bells from his hair which had become detached during the night and fallen under him. On counting them he found 8. Removing his eye patch he recalled there was a mirror in his room and he went and glared at it. Then he decided to glare into it.

Once again he thanked science, genetics, gods, fate or whatever that he was a male. If he were female he might be upset with his appearance. The red marks of the eye patch were vivid and added to the scars gave an impression of a badly disfigured face. One or two of the bells still attached to his hair had also pressed into his face, adding to the effect. His hair was neither one thing nor another. Half was up, half was down and most of it was tangled.

"Yeah, brilliant idea. Put your hair up in spikes, attach bells so people can hear you coming and then leave them in all night," he said aloud before he savagely yanked the bells out of his hair and grabbed a comb.

Half an hour later his hair was done. Bells replaced, fortunately none were lost, hair spiked and staying upright and the vivid colour had become much less. Replacing his eye patch, Zaraki wondered what new challenge the day would bring, and why the bird hadn't said anything. He'd spoken aloud and normally she used that as an excuse to make some carping remark. Why was she suddenly silent?

For a second, a very abbreviated second, he considered asking the bird why she was remaining quiet, but that would mean talking to her and doing so might result in a conversation. A conversation with Atonomatsuri on top of the way he was feeling might result in more irritation. He grimaced at his reflection in the mirror.

He wanted a day off from all the attention and activity.

Damn it, he wasn't going to cooperate today!

Oh, Hell! If he didn't, it meant he'd be cooped up within feet of the Clown Captain for one more day. Being so close to that reject from the Maggots Nest made his skin feel like it wanted to crawl off his body to find refuge somewhere else.

The door opened and a tray with food and drink was brought in. At first the smell made him feel nauseous, but he ignored it and ate and drank while concentrating on something else. He needed the food. The next challenge might require either strength or endurance. The last word made him grimace as he remembered struggling to stay awake. The challenge had been boring to do. It must have been even more boring to watch.

"Captain, please follow me."

He was pleased to see Ayasegawa at the door. The man was as well groomed as always and Zaraki felt a momentary and unexpected relief he'd spent some time making himself presentable.

"What is it today?" he asked as he followed his subordinate, pleased he wasn't accompanied by the noise of Kurotsuchi on this occasion.

"I'm not certain. Only the judges, Yamamoto and Sasakibe know what is going on."

"How's Madarame?"

"He's nearly recovered. Furious with the Clown Captain, of course. If you don't decimate him, he might decide to do something..." he hesitated.

"Something dumb," Zaraki guessed.

"Your words, Captain, not mine."

They had now arrived and Zaraki felt a drag of reluctance to do this again. The stands were full of Shinigami who were talking and looking intently at the arena. The drinking competition had been okay, but he had a sinking feeling it wasn't going to be included. Kurotsuchi was already there with his normal stupid smug expression and standing anywhere near the man had become worse than a chore. More like a punishment.

Instead of Ise, the First Division Assistant Captain appeared to be presiding over the events.

"Due to the interference of Assistant Captain Ise, the previous challenge is declared null and void. An additional challenge has been devised which will take place now." He indicated a round table, with 5 chairs.

Zaraki checked again. 5 chairs seemed odd, but he had an idea who might have devised the previous challenge and the indication was this was from the same mind.

Three Shinigami walked out and headed toward the table. Until now, Zaraki had paid little attention to the judges, but he looked at the three people heading toward the table and then the judges. He stopped the smirk he felt and understood why Ayasegawa had provided the warning. Madarame, still looking slightly battered walked toward the table as if it were a battle field. Behind him trailed the 10th Division assistant Captain who smiled and waved at certain members of the audience and finally the joint Third seat from 13th Division: Sentaro Kotsubaki.

It made him wonder if these people had been deliberately chosen or if the decision was random. On the panel of judges he was pleased to see the previous bunch of wowsers had been replaced by Abarai, Kyoraku and Tetsuzaemon Iba. He idly considered they appointed Kyoraku one of the judges so he wouldn't try to join in with whatever was planned. There were no indications it was another contest including drinking, but there seemed to be tea and cups on the table as well as water.

"Be seated please," Sasakibe said firmly.

Reluctantly, Zaraki moved to the table and made certain he was seated between Madarame and Matsumoto. One was pretty to look at and had a nice laugh and the other wasn't pretty, but he was certain he didn't want to sit anywhere near Kurotsuchi. It didn't escape his notice that the man quickly took the seat next to the only female at the table leaving Kotsubaki looking unhappy as he sat between Madarame and Kurotsuchi, but he was nearly opposite the 10th Division Assistant Captain. Kotsubaki fixed his eyes on the Assistant Captain until she noticed and gave him a slight frown. The man blushed slightly and looked away.

Sasakibe cleared his throat and again it struck Zaraki the man liked to be the centre of attention. He missed Ise. At least she was direct and clear in her instructions.

"You will be playing a card game called 21 or Blackjack," Sasakibe announced loudly and then paused as if waiting for exclamations from either the participants or the audience.

Until now, Zaraki hadn't played many card games. They didn't interest him and the one time he'd played poker with some of his subordinates the game didn't interest him. The rules were complicated and kept changing. Folding and showdowns were fine, but he hated the bluffing. It was confusing. And the Poker types had stupid names. Five card stud? Texas Holdem? Why Texas? Was it special?

"Blackjack?" Madarame questioned and then a smile full of malice crossed his face as he looked at Kurotsuchi. "A game of chance more than skill."

"I don't know how to play the game, nor do I see any reason I should learn." It was no surprise that the Clown Captain was complaining once more.

The 10th Division Assistant Captain pushed her hair back and smiled. "I like playing card games, especially for money. It's such fun."

"Maybe it might be an interesting experience to learn how to play this game," Kurotsuchi said quickly.

Zaraki suppressed an urge to laugh at the man. He was as susceptible to attractive females as any other male, though he constantly tried to pretend he was immune to such things.

"For those who do not know the rules of this game I will explain them quickly." Sasakibe pulled a roll of paper from his sleeve and scanned it.

"One person will be the dealer. Assistant Captain Rangiku Matsumoto has been selected for this role due to her knowledge of Blackjack and other card games."

Matsumoto smiled gently and nodded as Sasakibe handed her a sealed pack of cards. "I'm pleased to see they are sealed. There can be no accusations of tampering," was her gentle but pointed comment.

"I'm sure you would never tamper with cards," Kurotsuchi said archly. It was obvious he was implying something, and a glint in the woman's eye indicated she wasn't pleased with the insinuation.

"Tampering with anything is without honour," Madarame said as he stared at Kurotsuchi, his words weighted with obvious meaning. "Aizen is an example of what happens when you believe you are the equal of God."

Zaraki was surprised at the level of anger in his third seat. He knew the man hated to 12th Division Captain, yet there seemed to also be a hatred of the work he did. One day he might ask Madarame for the other reasons he hated the Clown Captain, or not. If the man was defeated through these challenges the importance would dwindle.

Sasakibe spoke louder, obviously not pleased at the interruption. "The object of the game is to draw cards that equal the number 21. If you go over that number then you lose. As Assistant Captain Matsumoto is the dealer, your main objective is to get closer to 21 than she does, or any of the other players. If the dealer exceeds 21 all other players win."

This was fine but how did he know the value of the cards?

The man went on, providing details of the value of the cards, emphasised the importance that an Ace could play and generally enjoying the sound of his own voice. It was hard to listen, but Zaraki tried. He stifled yawn after yawn.

"Finally we come to how the winner will be determined."

Finally? Was the man going to finish sometime in the next twenty years? Zaraki now listened carefully.

"It is customary to bet on the outcome of this game. Therefore each of you will be given 50 tokens. The first person to gather 150 tokens will be the winner. If neither Captain Kurotsuchi or Zaraki wins, the challenge will be classed as a draw. You are not permitted to bet the whole 50 tokens on one hand, the maximum being 45 tokens and the minimum wager is 1 token. Any person who loses all their tokens will be excluded from participating further in the game. Assistant Captain Matsumoto will not be included in the betting but will have some tokens to pay in the circumstance she loses."

It was clear that they'd anticipated he might try to get the whole thing over and done with by using all the tokens at once. All the same it meant he might have to play twice.

Why was he thinking like this? He wanted to win and wipe the continually smug and annoying expression of his foes face.

Sasakibe continued, "The challenge will continue until we have a clear winner. In the interest of all the game will be confined to 21 hands. The person closest to having 150 tokens at the conclusion of 21 hands, if that number is not reached previously will be the winner. Commence."

The 10th Division Assistant Captain broke the seal on the cards and shuffled them. Her hands moved deftly, and it became apparent she'd had a deal of experience in shuffling cards. With a small smile she dealt each player a face up card.

Zaraki received a 7. He didn't care that Kurotsuchi gave a exclamation of pleasure at being dealt an Ace and smirked at Matsumoto who didn't appear to notice. One card didn't make him a winner. Madarame was dealt a 5, Matsumoto a 2 and Kotsubaki a King. Sasakibe announced each card loudly and to whom it was dealt so the audience knew.

Again Zaraki wondered how interesting this would be to anyone watching. It was pretty obvious Sasakibe would announce the cards dealt at each instance.

"Place your first wager, if you will."

Five tokens was enough. He wasn't certain how many more he would bet on this hand as he was still not certain about the rules.

Everyone seemed inclined to bet 5 tokens. Matsumoto dealt the next card. An 8 to Zaraki, a 7 to Kurotsuchi, a 3 to Madarame a 4 to herself and a Queen to Kotsubaki.

Kotsubkai immediately placed another bet of 10 tokens. "Don't deal me anymore cards, please Assistant Captain Matsumoto," he said quietly.

She smiled in reply.

"I'll have one more card, please," Kurotsuchi said.

"Yeah, give me another one," Zaraki said.

"And me," Madarame agreed.

A 5 was dealt to Kurotsuchi, a 4 to Zaraki, a 10 to Matsumoto and a 3 to Madarame. The meant Kurotsuchi had either 13 or 23, Zaraki had 19, Madarame had 12, Matsumoto had 16 and Kotsubaki 20.

19 was pretty close, but wouldn't beat the 20. Zaraki decided not to bet any more or request any further cards. He wished to see what the other players would do.

"Hit me again," Madarame said and it forced Zaraki to look at him.

"I haven't touched you, nor has anyone else. Why do you want someone to hit you? If you do, I'll do it but not now."

Madarame couldn't or didn't try to prevent his eyes rolling in his head. "It means give me another card, not physically hit a person."

"What a stupid thing to say," Kurotsuchi said. "Hit me. Why hit me? Why not card me, or deal me, or something which makes more sense."

For once the man was saying something Zaraki agreed with. "Yeah, it is pretty dumb. Doesn't it lead to fights during the game?"

Matsumoto smiled gently. "As most people who play cards know the meaning of the term, normally, no."

"Probably created by some person too lazy to say 'May I have another card'." Kurotsuchi commented. "Laziness is responsible for so many problems."

This time Zaraki was conflicted about how he felt about this comment. Yes, he liked being lazy on occasions and sleeping or generally wasting time, but he hated it when other people were lazy, especially when he expected them to do something for him.

"But why the word 'hit'?" Kurotsuchi said. "Hit is only used to imply pain or disgrace in some way. Is asking for another card as shaming as asking another person for money or sex?"

Zaraki stared at the man wondering if he'd been drinking. Why was he carrying on about a term used, or was it a subtle way of annoying Madarame? He glanced at his third seat and noticed his face was carefully bland. A tightening at the corners of the mouth made it apparent he was becoming irritated.

Matsumoto had dealt him another card and without looking at it, he said in a cool voice, "Another card."

"Are you sure?" Matsumoto said.

Zaraki looked at the other card in front of his subordinate. It was a 6 which brought the total of his cards to 18. Any card higher than a 3 would put him over 21.

Madarame shook himself and took his eyes from Kurotsuchi and then looked at his cards. "Yeah, I'm sure."

Was he really, or still angered by the man baiting him? Irrespective of either Matsumoto dealt him a Jack which caused him to sigh and then smile slightly. "Good lesson," he muttered. "I'm out," he announced generally.

"I'll have another card," Kurotsuchi said and was dealt a 6 which made him equal with Zaraki and Matsumoto dealt herself a 4 which put her equal to Kotsubaki.

"Does anyone wish for another card?"

No one requested one and Matsumoto smiled. "You get your money back," she told Kotsubaki, "plus half of the money that was wagered. This means we both receive 30 tokens."

The game didn't interest Zaraki even though he now thought he knew the rules. "More like doing sums than playing cards," he thought. "Keeping track of the numbers on the cards, the amount of money... Why do I have to do this?"

He knew, but as the game progressed he kept asking the question, expecting some acerbic remark from Atonomatsuri. She remained silent.

Luck or skill? What made a winner in this game?

"I trust no one is card counting," Sasakibe said in one pause when Kotsubaki had won again.

"What is card counting?" It was bad enough trying to add up score, but counting cards? Why would anyone do that?

Madarame laughed. "Card counting is when someone keeps track of which cards have appeared. It is illegal in most games as it gives an indication of which cards are still to be dealt. I'm not doing it as it seems like a lot of trouble for little reward."

A small movement drew everyone's attention to the 13th Division 3rd seat.

"Were you card counting?" Sasakibe asked pointedly as he stared at the Kotsubaki.

"Not really. Not all the time," he paused. "Well." He stopped again. "Maybe. It's the sensible way to play the game." The man spluttered.

It still wasn't clear what card counting was, but the impression he received was it gave an unfair advantage. "It sounds like cheating to me," Zaraki rumbled, disappointed in the man. He was putting the challenge at risk by his actions and the time wasted on another fruitless game angered him.

"I'll stop. I'd lost count anyway," Kotsubaki pleaded.

"Let me find out what the judges think," was the comment made by the First Division Assistant Captain before he strode off, back straight and arms held to his sides as he walked toward the table. A brief conference took place.

Of course the man made an announcement. "Third seat Kotsubaki has been counting cards which I am sure you all know is not quite cheating, but also not quite honest. The judges, in their wisdom have disqualified him from the game with the winning to be divided amongst the remaining players, with the exception of the bank. This is quite an interesting point as he was 8 tokens away from having the correct amount to win."

He'd been that close to winning? Zaraki looked at his dwindled supply of tokens. He only had 10 left. If he got his share it would mean he had more than he started with, but barely. 50 and 10 made 60 tokens. Still a long way from the 150 required.

Kotsubaki was escorted from the arena amidst some whispering and a few jeered remarks. The man hunched over, his face staring at the ground and he glance unhappily at his Captain. On looking at Ukitake it was easy to see displeasure clouding his normal agreeable features. It left Zaraki wondering if there would be any action taken, but decided it wasn't his problem or his actions which were required.

The game continued and Zaraki tried to focus, tried to retain his interest. Eventually all the cards had been played and Matsumoto was shuffling the deck. Again Zaraki counted his tokens. 90. He'd won a few hands, but this whole thing was tedious in the extreme. His gaze was drawn to Kurotsuchi who was furiously counting his tokens.

"I have 139!" he exclaimed the delight on his face visible to all. "Only 11 more and I have won!"

"Sorry, Captain," Madarame said under his breath. "I wanted the game over so I've been betting more than I should. I've only 5 tokens left."

"The dealer has only 16 tokens left," Matsumoto admitted. "There has been some rather unusual bets made," she said looking at Kurotsuchi. "It is almost like someone else has been counting cards."

It was barely possible to see the red rise to the surface of the man's skin. "I don't know what you mean," he replied. "I've never played this game before and never heard of card counting until it was mentioned earlier."

His denial only made it more likely.

Sasakibe, who had been called over to the judges table returned to the centre of the arena. "An additional rule has now been added to the game. The dealer will shuffle the cards after every hand, including those just played. This will ensure that card counting cannot be used as a method of gaining an advantage."

A muffled curse confirmed Matsumoto's suspicion and Zaraki's thoughts. He tried to hide a smile, but then wondered why. He noticed Madarame grinning at him and he smiled back. "Good idea," he commented. "I might have been tempted, if I knew how."

The game continued and it seemed Kurotsuchi steadily lost the advantage he'd had while Zaraki didn't seem to lose or win much. His token count stood at 105. He didn't bother looking at the tokens the others held. At 105 he must have the majority of tokens. It was only logical.

Finally he decided. "I don't care. I'm going to wager 45 tokens this time. If I win it means the game is over. If I lose, then it's too bad. I'm sick of sitting here staring at cards and counting."

This time he paid full attention to the game. His first card was an Ace, one of the very few he'd been dealt during the game. Madarame was dealt a King, Kurotsuchi a 7 and Matsumoto a 9. The second card yielded a 5 for Zaraki, a 6 for Madarame, a Queen for Matsumoto and a 3 for Kurotsuchi . This mean Zaraki had either 6 or 16, Madarame now had 16, Matsumoto held 19 and Kurotsuchi was coming last with 10.

Zaraki placed a bet of 20 tokens in addition to his original bet of 10. Everyone who could, matched his bet. If he won, he'd have more than enough to prove he'd won the game. If he lost it was too bad.

"Another card," he requested and watched as Matsumoto dealt a 5. 21. Blackjack! He'd gotten Blackjack. The first time since the game had commenced.

Suppressing a smile he bet another 10 tokens and watched as the cards were dealt.

Matsumoto dealt her card first. It was a 2. Zaraki looked at the card in disbelief. The dealer had 21 as well? Unbelievable!

Kurotsuchi was dealt an Ace. He had 21 as well? This was ridiculous. It wasn't possible!

Madarame was dealt a 7 and he grunted as he threw his cards on the table.

Three 21's. Zaraki still didn't believe it was possible. The winnings were sitting there and he had to share them. He hadn't won and the game was going to continue, or so he thought until it became apparent Sasakibe was speaking once more. Dragging his attention to what the man was saying he heard one thing that made the disaster seem less.

"Shinigami's present. This was the final hand of the game. We will now count the tokens and assess who was the winner. Players, please leave your hands on the table and the tokens and I will divide the winnings from the last hand fairly."

It was a relief to stand and walk away from the table. His eyes hurt and so did his neck, not forgetting his brain. If anyone was foolish enough to ask him to play cards, he'd hurt them. Except if it was Yachiru because she at least had the sense to play games which didn't require adding up numbers or trying to remember which cards had already been played.

How exactly would he hurt them? Why was he even thinking about this. His normal reaction was to attempt to kill anything or anyone who irritated him. Why change to something which might not work? If the person didn't fear death, then he'd administer the antidote to life quickly, unless an interesting fight was promised. Then it might be prolonged according to the skill displayed.

With more disinterest than he felt, he watched the tokens being counted after the cards were evaluated. How had three of them managed to get 21 in the last hand? He hadn't managed to get higher than 20 during the length of the game and this final draw was like an intentional insult.

After the three judges conferred with each other and Sasakibe, they returned to their table and he went and stood in his favoured position in the middle of the ground.

"The final result is both Captain Zaraki and Captain Kurotsuchi have drawn."

Zaraki frowned. How could they have drawn? He'd had 105 tokens and bet 40. Kurotsuchi had bet 40. Unless...

Unless both Matsumoto and Madarame had very few tokens and Kurotsuchi had the same amount he did when the game commenced.

"A draw?" Kurotsuchi appeared incensed.

"A draw. No further discussion will be entered into regarding the result as the judge's decision is final."

Zaraki felt a strange prickling sensation down his spine. For some reason he had trouble believing the result as much as Kurotsuchi. Was there some reason the results were a draw? To keep the challenges ongoing and make it even more uncertain who would win.

And yet he had won more challenges than Kurotsuchi: the guessing competition, the buzzing maze, archery, sleep deprivation. That was 4 clear winds. Kurotsuchi had only won the training a Shinigami. They'd drawn on the origami and this one and the drinking contest didn't count. So he had 3 more wins than Kurotsuchi. He was clearly going to win overall as there were only 3 challenges left.

3 challenges left. Then it sank it just as his hopes for a quick end disappeared. If Kurotsuchi won the final 3 they would again be at a draw.

Turning his head he tried to catch sight of Yamamoto. It was clearly the Old Man's idea of fun. Keep everyone focused on something irrelevant, when it was essential they prepare for what was going to happen when Aizen and his fellow traitors made their move.

Again he wondered why.

Author's Note

* * *

Really looking forward to Manifest this year which will feature both Little Kariboh and two members of Team Four Star.

Yes, more delays. Study, life, family and other things tend to make writing that little bit more difficult. Priorities change daily, sometimes hourly, depending on who is making the most noise.

Thank you to the people who have reviewed. Hopefully there will be time to thank you individually in the next Author's Note.

Please review.

MS


	58. Super Hollow

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. However, writing it makes me laugh._

**Super Hollow**

The card game had taken too long. He was hungry and the position of the sun indicated it was after lunch. Frowning he followed some tame Shinigami to the room in which he'd eaten previously and wolfed down the food without really tasting it. Dumplings for lunch was fine and there were many varieties, but he doused it with sauce and swallowed after barely chewing each bite. The faster the meal was over, the sooner this was finished.

3 more challenges; then it was ended. Not soon enough. It seemed pointless to hope the last challenges would be short or uncomplicated, but the hope refused to die. He glowered at Kurotsuchi who was eating slowly and dissecting each item of food with his chopsticks before conveying it unhappily to his mouth. Separating the dumpling casing from its contents and eating each defeated the purpose of a dumpling. He didn't seem to really be noticing what he was doing and if Zaraki knew anything about the man, he appeared to be thinking deeply about something which concerned him. What could he be thinking about? Another way of winning which might have some small element of undetectable cheating?

The silent meal continued. Zaraki eating angrily, trying to calm his growing frustration with food, found it was sitting badly in his stomach. Sullenly he placed his chopsticks on their holder and pushed his bowl away, pouring out some of the hot tea. He sipped it slowly, feeling the warm liquid begin to soothe some of the irritation. Not enough as his thoughts continually returned to the events of the last few days which were not exactly calming. Once more he glared at Kurotsuchi, identifying him as the cause.

The man had stopped eating and had been staring at his bowl, moving the chopsticks haphazardly. Something seemed to catch his eye and instead he began to observe the teacup, a frown creasing the paint on his forehead. His eyes opened wider until he shut them quickly and his lips moved as if he were trying to calculate or remember some fact. When he opened his eyes again he gazed once more at the cup. Zaraki looked at his, seeing nothing more interesting the tea. The tea lurched in the cup. So? Did it matter?

The 12th Division Captain sat up straighter than before and raised his head quickly. "I must speak to Captain Yamamoto," Kurotsuchi suddenly told one of the servers. "Alone and urgently."

The server simply nodded and left the room swiftly without asking for a reason. It annoyed Zaraki that this man should be permitted to make any demands without question.

"Why?" Zaraki asked only to be met by a blank stare. "I asked why do you need to speak to Captain Yamamoto?" Zaraki persisted.

"I do not believe it to be any of your business, Captain Zaraki," the Clown Captain replied shortly. "We are not friends or even comrades. We may be sleeping in rooms which are next to each other and we have to spend too much time in each other's company at present, but these are the only things we have in common."

Zaraki harrumphed. "Aside from both being Captains and competing in these damned challenges we don't, but do you expect me to trust you? Why is it important to speak to the Old Man?"

"It is," the man paused and his eyes flickered to Zaraki and away. "It is a private matter."

The comment made Zaraki laugh. "Yeah. You love privacy, don't you? Privacy and secrets seem to be the things you really want to keep."

"Once again, I remind you this is none of your business and it is urgent." The man spoke with more authority than normal and for a brief second he felt a flicker of respect, but quashed the emotion very quickly. He was not going to feel respect for this man unless there was a good reason.

"If it affects the challenges, then it is my business."

The man stared at him blankly and then frowned. "The challenges? Why do you imagine it has anything to do with the challenges?"

Zaraki didn't bother to smother the sigh. The man was being obtuse. They were in the middle of something which would affect Kurotsuchi and influence whether he remained a Captain. The result of this might mean he was executed or returned to the Maggot's Nest, permanently, with no possible release. Surely the man hadn't lost sight of the importance of the events which were occurring.

"I imagine it's the challenges because you're losing." There. He'd said it aloud. Yes, Kurotsuchi was behind, at the moment and it felt good to say it aloud. Then he felt a little petty. It might be true, but the next challenge might change everything.

"Captain Zaraki," Zaraki blinked at being addressed in this manner by the 12th Division Captain. There must be something seriously wrong. "This matter is more widespread than the outcome of some piddling challenges."

The man had called the challenges piddling?

"The man's hiding something, Kenny boy."

Hearing the voice in his head made him twitch uncontrollably. Recent events had made him forget Atonomatsuri, or try to. Her recent silence had been welcome but now it seemed she was back in full form. Kenny boy. Urgh.

"Of course he's hiding something. Tell me something even a blind vulture wouldn't notice."

"Did you miss me Kenny?"

The vultures' voice sounded pleading and the question shocked him. Did she want him to miss her? The best way he could think of missing her was to try and stab someone and accidentally end up with his zan... No he'd already tried that and was still avoiding any thoughts about how a zanpakuto could stab the spirit which inhabited it. Metaphysics and souls were not his concern, except when he was reaping souls of killing Hollows.

The way he was thinking wasn't helping in any way. Each thought seemed to lead to an unfortunate memory or truth he was attempting to hide.

"Yeah, sure. Missed you." Anything else might prolong the conversation.

"You did? Honestly?" the bird sounded excited and pleased. It might have been a mistake to utter the insincere assurance, but he never could predict the outcome of any conversation with the bird. If he'd been rude, a fight was in the offing, if he agreed she seemed to become overly animated.

"Whatever. What do you think Captain Clown is hiding?" A quick change of subject might suffice, or not. Who knew how the bird would react to anything he said? She was as predictable as a terrorist attack.

"It could be anything, but it doesn't seem to be connected to the challenges. If you look at him, he actually seems to be agitated, like someone shook up an explosive experiment."

Her words seemed to strike a chord. Looking at the man it was quite clear he wasn't calm or even trying to appear that way. He fidgeted, his hands grasping at each other or clutching at the table. Observing his eyes, Zaraki noticed they were firmly fixed on the door, awaiting the arrival of a message from the Captain General.

"Yes. He seems to actually be sincere in wishing to talk to the Old Man." Scary to think of the creepy guy as sincere about anything, but was it possible to tell what drove him?

"So you did miss me?"

Returning to that topic? How insecure could a vulture be? Was it possible for a vulture to be insecure? Were there any psychologists specialising in the metal illnesses of vultures?

"Where were you?"

A smug tone suffused Atonomatsuri's voice. "Here and there. Up and down. In and out."

Always a straight answer when he talked to the bird. "That's clear."

"I was searching. There's something strange about the Seireitei I hadn't noticed before."

"You can leave me and look around? I thought you were tied to the Zanpakuto." If she was the spirit of the blade, how could she leave it and run around looking for things. Well, maybe run was the wrong word for how the bird travelled. She could walk, and fly (indifferently) but imagining her running was both amusing and disturbing.

"Now I have more freedom there are many things I can do. No thanks to you, Kenpachi."

At least it was a name he didn't mind, but of course she wasn't losing any opportunity to insult him. Same old Atonomatsuri, hinting at secrets while attempting to make him feel guilty. One day she might work out guilt was something he didn't feel unless he knew he'd made a mistake, but only if it concerned someone he actually respected or cared about. That basically confined the numbers to very few people and usually on Yachiru managed to make him feel anything close to guilt. Why he'd waste time getting emotional over the bird was a question he didn't bother thinking about. Emotions were no fun, fighting was.

"Fine, vulture. Keep your secrets. They don't interest me anyway."

A small and taunting giggle preceded her answer. "You will be interested soon. Very soon."

Since he'd met the bird he'd stifled more sighs than he'd given in a year. Was this true of every Shinigami's interaction with the spirit of their Zanpakuto or was he just extraordinarily lucky; not.

The First Division Assistant Captain entered quickly through the door and looked at Kurotsuchi with a small amount of disdain. "Why do you need to speak with Captain Yamamoto? Are you seeking a method of winning this by default."

A small, but definite tremor shook the building. It felt as if it had been struck from the outside and Zaraki looked at the ceiling, wondering if a large object had struck the building for some reason. Maybe there was an invasion from Hueco Mundo and this was the only warning they received. Reaching for his Zanpakuto he remembered it wasn't there. Damn it, he had the bird but not the blade. If only it was the other way, permanently.

All the same he stood. He'd grab someone else's weapon for the moment. There was little chance he'd forego a battle simply because his blade was elsewhere.

Kurotsuchi was already on his feet. "I need to talk to Yamamoto about that tremor, and some other matters. My incarceration and these challenges were sudden and didn't permit me any time to make alternate arrangements for some of the studies I was conducting."

"In other words, he was doing something wrong and hoped he'd finish with it before anyone found out," Atonomatsuri said with amusement. "Pretends at being in charge behind closed doors, has special secret experiments and who knows what else? I know what he'd hiding."

Zaraki was about to demand an explanation when an event prevented the question being asked.

"Your meaning is ambiguous. Speak clearly, man, if you have something important to say," Captain Yamamoto's voice drew everyone's attention.

The Clown Captain coughed in surprise and the swallowed. He coughed again and hastily picked up some of the cooling tea which he swallowed. "This is a private matter, Captain Yamamoto."

"Anything to do with your studies or experiments is of interest to us all, Captain, as we are often not informed of many of the advances discovered by your Division. Speak now so we can continue and finish this trial which will determine your innocence or guilt."

Kurotsuchi took a deep breath. "Captain, Commander, I must insist..."

"Insist all you like, but I won't be moved. If is it as important as you are implying, then it should be revealed as quickly as possible. You are wasting time."

"If he keeps this up, it might all be too late," Atonomatsuri joked to Zaraki who closed his eyes and stifled the groan that rose instinctively at her bad pun.

"Captain, I protest...'

"Insist and protest? it might be quicker if you say what you need to say and then I can determine the required action." The Old Man leant heavily on his stick and looked stern and unmoving. Zaraki knew, even if Kurotsuchi didn't that there was no point in further discussion. The facts must be presented quickly before anything unfortunate happened.

Kurotsuchi gulped and glanced around the room, then appeared to come to a decision. He moved until he was within whispering distance of the Captain General and began to speak softly and earnestly.

Zaraki frowned. He was very curious about the 'confession' which Kurotsuchi seemed to be making, but knew if he tried to move closer to overhear he might be told to leave. This was one occasion where he didn't want to be dismissed.

"Speak up, Captain. The little you've told me indicates you may not be able to handle this situation by yourself and it will require the voluntary assistance of strong and persistent fighters."

Zaraki's attention was even more completely focused now. A strong and persistent fighter was required, which was obviously him, and it might mean a fight against a worthy opponent. Someone who wouldn't fold and crack after a few minor assaults. The thought of a decent fight after all this fooling around in useless activities was definitely to his taste and might make up for some of the boredom he'd been experiencing.

Kurotsuchi fell silent and glared at his commanding officer. "They don't need to know..."

"Yes, they do need to know. When a mistake is made, it is better to correct it quickly rather than permit it to grow more serious. "

"A stitch in time saves nine," Atonomatsuri agreed in Zaraki's mind.

Without meaning to, Zaraki growled.

"See, even the Captain of 11th Division is becoming annoyed at your attempts to delay," Yamamoto said pointedly.

"The Captain is not celebrated for his patience," Kurotsuchi protested, his hands raised as if he were preparing to ward off a blow.

"Stop prevaricating and get on with it," the tone Yamamoto used indicated he was not prepared for anything less than a full and immediate explanation.

"As you know, I am a scientist," Kurotsuchi began, using a tactic to try to explain his actions were all to further knowledge, not for any other reason.

"I believe everyone here knows exactly who you are, Captain."

"My studies are many and varied. How can I expect any of you to understand the fascination of studying a creature until all the secrets are revealed."

Yamamoto thumped his cane on the floor loudly. "Get to the point, now."

"My experiments with Hollows are incomplete. I was trying to replicate the action of the Hogyoku with a rather strong Hollow and found the results were proving very enlightening."

Zaraki was dumbfounded at this disclosure. No one could be stupid enough to experiment with Hollows and something that made them evolve into a Super Hollow in the Seireitei. It was sheer insanity.

"This form of research is banned, even you must be aware of it," the Assistant Captain of 1st Division stammered, his normal cool apparently shattered by the revelation.

Atonomatsuri whistled, something Zaraki wasn't sure Vultures could do. "Dangerous. Dangerous silly man. 'He who brings himself into needless dangers dies the devil's martyr.' I wonder if I should change that to 'He who brings himself and others into needless danger dies the devil's martyr.'"

Zaraki ignored her and stared at the man. Yeah! A challenge. He might be fighting a Super Hollow sometime soon. Not an Arrancar or Espada of course. It'd have to be something less as he couldn't believe that Kurotsuchi's version of the Hogyoku might be nearly as strong as the one created by Urahara.

"Nothing should stand in the way of science," Kurotsuchi mumbled.

"Laws are created for valid reasons, Captain. In this case you have violated the sanctity of the Seireitei by your experiments and broken the most important rules which are in place precisely for the 12th Division. If I believed you were a threat previously, you have certainly proven that belief." Yamamoto's voice was harsh as he continued, "How many of these altered Hollows are there?"

Kurotsuchi glanced around the room as if seeking an exit. "Three," he quavered, "or possibly four."

Yamamoto ignored the gasps of disbelief and kept probing for answers. "And where exactly are they? Why did you neglect to mention them until now?"

"I had containment cells created deep underground with all my most advanced technology. I monitored it every day and there were many fail safes."

"Again why are you telling us this now?"

A gulp and cough preceded the answer. "I think the Hollows are getting too strong to be held. Over time the cell loses strength unless it is maintained and there is an increase in the seismic activity."

As if to support his statement the building shuddered again.

Yamamoto remained stock still while everything and everyone seemed to be affected by the sudden disruption. Zaraki grimly and determinedly forced himself to stay upright, but couldn't prevent himself from swaying with the force of the movement. Once everything was stable once more the Old Man spoke.

"I see there might be a problem. Captain Kurotsuchi we will attend to the problems created by your 'research' immediately. Once it is dealt with prepare yourself for an investigation."

Zaraki grimaced. Another investigation. If his bad luck continued he might end up with another set of challenges to meet in order to prove the man's guilt.

"This will be one of the challenges in the current course of judgement against you, Captain." The Old Man continued, "but as there are a possible 4 mutated Hollows, you will take additional forces with you."

He couldn't prevent his reaction. "Trying to deprive me of a decent fight, Captain?" Damn, if there were strong Hollows in the offing he wanted to fight all of them, not be allocated one, probably the weakest, and then hang around waiting for other people to catch up.

The Old Man raised a quizzical eyebrow. "How strong might these 'Hollows' be, Captain Kurotsuchi?"

The 12th Division Captain hesitated, obviously not wishing to answer the question. "They were proving quite strong, in fact I'd increased the confinement capabilities on the chambers before I was unfairly arrested."

Sasakibe bristled at the comment. "The arrest was in accordance with all the laws and regulations. "

Zaraki said, "How strong?"

Again a pause and his eyes quickly glanced at the people present. "I don't know."

Yamamoto nodded. "As we do not know the strength of the enemy we need to take additional precautions. Captain Kuchiki, Assistant Captain Abarai, Assistant Captain Kushajisi and Third Seat Madarame will accompany you. I will also permit your 12th Division subordinate Akon to accompany you, Captain Kurotsuchi."

Zaraki frowned angrily, unhappy with the news. He didn't mind if members of his team were involved and didn't care if Abarai came along, but why was he lumbered with the humourless flower petal noble? The man consistently refused to fight him, either ignoring him or simply gazing at him in disbelief. One glance at his superior officer indicated he was not receptive to discussion on the matter.

"You have 10 minutes to collect any items or weapons you require and will meet at 12th Division. You can gain access to the cells from there I trust?" The question was directed at Kurotsuchi.

The man shifted from one foot to the other and then shook his head. "No. I wanted it to be secret and I'm not willing to permit anyone other than myself to enter the precincts of my private research establishment."

Yamamoto breathed out heavily and lifted his staff in a threatening manner. For a moment Zaraki hoped he'd let it assume it's natural form but instead the Old Man held it out in the direction of the 12th Division Captain. "You dare to speak of will and permit? Meet with the others at 12 Division and escort them to your secret base. Any secrets you hold will be made public soon as you have proven you cannot be trusted."

"I protest..." Kurotsuchi began and then fell silent as if remembering how unsuccessful any of his previous protests had been.

"10 minutes, Captains. I will meet you at 12th Division."

As he walked out the door, it was with a strange sense of freedom. He was free of the challenges for a time, even thought this was an additional challenge. Free to be reunited with some of his friends and his blade. 10 minutes was not a lot of time, but what did he really need? He'd eaten and wasn't hungry or thirsty, he didn't rely on a lot of scientific crap to fight and wounds didn't worry him. All the same, it might be nice to return to his accommodation and see if anything had turned up.

Minutes later, Zaraki was in his bedroom, picking up his Zanpakuto, and deciding to check his hair. A look in the mirror showed that some of the bells required replacement and he worked on it for a few minutes until it met his standards. His clothes were clean, but he permitted himself the luxury of just lying on his bed.

"It's time Kenny. Why are you lollygagging?" Atonomatsuri was quick to remind him that the time was passed even though he had been mindful of the time.

"Don't get your feathers in a lather. I'm going," he replied as he reluctantly got to his feet.

Even a few minutes in a place where he didn't feel like an outsider restored him. People might think he was crazy and never felt discomfort or the need for peace, but sometimes it was good to be surrounded by a familiar place with items he'd collected over the years. Not that there was much because ownership of things didn't mean much to him, but the sight of a simple pebble Yachiru had given him when she was young brought a smile to his face. It was round and unremarkable, but she'd said something about how it was smooth and felt good to hold.

Arriving at 12th Division he realised he hadn't really noticed the walk. He'd been thinking, while blocking out the outraged comments from the bird who was correctly insisting that he was ignoring her, remembering parts of his life which made it worthwhile. The interesting fights, the jokes and laughter with his friends and companions, the coming of the Ryoka and the promises of future tough battles. The current situation would pass, it always. After it was over he'd resume his life and dedicate more time to training his men and honing his own skills. While he might be strong now, was there a problem with becoming even stronger, but there was no way he'd try Kendo again, or not while anyone was looking.

The challenges were depressing him.

It was the truth. They seemed pointless and futile. Why couldn't he do the normal thing and fight Kurotsuchi to the death and be done with it? It was the most sensible and quick solution to problem and then Yamamoto could stuff around pretending to search for new Captains to take up all the vacant seats. What was another empty seat here or there and Kurotsuchi seemed to be more interested in his own concerns rather than thinking about the wellbeing of Soul Society as a whole.

The man was nearly as much of a waste of space as Piecrust.

Zaraki briefly recalled the second of respect he'd felt for Kurotsuchi. Fortunately it had passed and no one knew, or had Atonomatsuri noticed.

Preferring not to think she had, he looked around and saw the others were waiting. Abarai was trying to talk to his Captain who was patently ignoring him as he looked into the distance. Why was the man such a colossal pain in the neck? He was a noble but that was only an accident of birth. His attitude made Zaraki hunger for the day of bloody revolution when all nobles would be put to the sword.

"So would you, Kenny if the downtrodden rose up and overpowered their oppressors. You're an oppressor as I can clearly show. Look at your treatment of me."

The bird once again made her case.

"For someone who is oppressed, you have a hell of a lot to say." Zaraki said as bluntly as possible.

"Come and see the injustice inherent in the system. Help. Help. I'm being oppressed!"

Confused, Zaraki looked around. Who was the bird talking to and why was she cackling with laughter. It made as much sense as any conversation he'd had with her, but once more he wished she wouldn't try to make jokes he didn't understand.

Kurotsuchi looked mullish as he stood next to Akon, whispering furiously. As usual his subordinate wore a carefully blank expression and he nodded in response to whatever the man was saying.

"Captain Unohana is not happy about this," Madarame told him as he appeared by his side.

He felt an accustomed weight as Yachiru jumped on his shoulder. "Lolly's only fussing. You won't get hurt because Ken-chan won't let you fight."

"Yeah. Good plan," Zaraki said.

If he fought everyone first then it would be over fast and he'd have all the fun. What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

_Author's Note_

Apologies for the misquote from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" but I needed a laugh.

The reasons for the long, long delay? After I was held for ransom by the bunyips, I was taken in for questioning by the special fruit bat flying force who were not happy with my explanations. They in turn sent me for further questioning and evaluation by the jolly jumbucks who eventually released me into my own custody.

Fiction? Yes, but why tell the truth, which in this case is not even slightly amusing.

Please review. Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

MS


	59. Normal Protocol

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. However, writing it makes me laugh._

**Normal Protocol**

"Lead the way, Captain Kurotsuchi," the Old Man commanded.

The hesitation seemed more like a stubborn refusal to move. "This is not normal protocol."

An unfamiliar rasping, grinding noise issued from Captain-General. It sounded like something familiar, but not from that source. Then Zaraki realised the man was laughing.

Had he ever heard Captain Yamamoto laugh? The man wasn't jolly, nor did he seem to wish to show he enjoyed anything, not even a good fight.

"Normal protocol? Captain Kurotsuchi, I thought Captain Kuchiki possessed the most pride of any of my Shinigami's but you once more prove me wrong," his face became serious. "Learn your place which is as my subordinate," Yamamoto paused and finally added, "for the present."

The underlying implication was clear. He may be a Captain now, but there was the possibility he might be returned to the Maggot's Nest or executed for his crimes.

The man reacted as if he'd received a mortal blow.

"He doesn't look happy, Kenny. Does the Old Man mean it?" Atonomatsuri seemed pleased and eager, for what he didn't know.

"Very well," Kurotsuchi said with obvious reluctance. "However, I trust each of you understand the need for secrecy."

He turned and walked slowly out of the room. Zaraki waited until everyone else had left and followed. It might be fun to observe the interaction between the participants while he had time to consider what he'd heard.

The man had been performing dangerous experiments on Hollows. Why?

Did he even need a reason? Maybe he was driven to experiment the same way Zaraki was driven to fight. It was instinctual and necessary for his interest in survival, though the man seemed needy if he needed to experiment all the time. Zaraki didn't need to fight every day. He'd like to but often there was little point as most of the people who were available didn't interest him. Their skills were limited or he knew their style and abilities too well for it to be even a slight challenge. No one he was interested in fighting wished to indulge him.

Experimenting, at least the way Kurotsuchi practiced the term, didn't provide much information except for the subjects tolerance for pain and the way they functioned and performed tasks while either being tortured or under threat of torture. Had the man killed puppies and kittens when he was younger? Cutting the poor creatures or administering poisonous concoctions to see the results? Alternatively, were puppies and kittens too strong for him, so he started with insects and fish, gradually working up to mammals, with a side venture into reptiles and birds?

In some ways he could see the fascination in studying Hollows, maybe, but mainly their varied fighting style. What other factor about them could interest him? Hollows were there to provide him with entertainment while they tried to defeat him, and of course, failed.

Any recollection of the knowledge of his previous existence he firmly forced from his awareness. Such thoughts weren't important or helpful.

Why were they tarrying? Why hadn't the Old Man forced the Winter War to commence so he could stop being so bored and taking part in these stupid challenges, which were to prove an obviously guilty man's depravity?

All the same, he was on the way to 'investigate' the 'Super' Hollows enhanced by the Clown Captain. If the man had actually done some work on them to enhance their abilities as he had hinted they might be interesting, put up a bit of a fight. Too few interesting fights recently. The last interesting fight he'd had... then he shuddered at the memory. That 'interesting' fight with the kid had directly led to this current mess. Or had it? Wouldn't Kurotsuchi still be the person he was?

"He would be the same. It's you who has changed," Atonomatsuri said, gently.

"Yeah? Well change is over rated. I was happy..."

"We've had this conversation before. Without change, there is only stagnation. You were bored before we talked, weren't you?"

Zaraki thought about it, despite his reluctance to follow any of the bird's advice. He'd been slightly down after Ichigo defeated him and kept refusing a rematch before he'd left. In his deeper, darker moments he wondered if Ichigo had dismissed him as a worthy opponent and that was why he'd run from each encounter. Bored, possibly as no one who was prepared to fight him offered a decent challenge, which added to the depression had lead to this current situation. Hell, why did Kuchiki always say no? Why did all the Captains refuse his offer of letting them test each other's abilities? If only...

He shut down that line of reasoning. "It is what it is," he thought. "If I go through all the "if only's" it would take up too much time and it makes no fracking difference."

Was the bird chuckling quietly? "Yes, Kenny boy. No difference. Didn't Ben Hurbster say: 'The greatest waste in the world is the difference between what we are and what we could become'?" The damnable creature was laughing at him and he didn't want to answer. His temper was responding despite his efforts.

There was a bottleneck at the door. Zaraki almost grabbed a few people to move them out of the way but decided for once not to use force to clear his way. The Super Hollows were trapped underground and while he was impatient to see what challenges they might provide, if Kurotsuchi had been involved in creating them, their main abilities might be boring, like long-winded talking about how wonderful they were.

Finally, Kurotsuchi moved out of the way and permitted the Captain-General to precede him. Considering his initial reluctance, Kurotsuchi seemed eager to be on his way, or was he trying to get to the 'experiments' and administer some quick acting poison to deprive Zaraki of his fun? Or did he want to hide the evidence?

Zaraki waited until the others had exited and then followed. He noticed the Shinigami were walking in groups and Kurotsuchi was trying to have a quiet conversation with Akon until the Captain-General joined them. A grim smile lifted Zaraki's lips. Was the Old Man going to accompany them to observe? He hadn't mentioned it, but who could tell?

Yachiru jumped on his shoulder. "Ken-chan, why did you wait so long? I got outside first and waited and waited for you."

Madarame walked over and smiled at his Captain. "Our Assistant Captain needs to learn the value of patience."

"Patience yourself, Baldy. Ken-chan isn't patient. Why should I be? Even Long Eyebrows said he isn't known for his patience."

Long Eyebrows? Another nickname, but who did she mean? Then it quickly came to him that she meant the Old Man. He did have long eyebrows, which often meant a sign of wisdom. Yachiru always amused him with her apt names.

He laughed, while looking at Madarame. "You. Talking about patience? Yeah. You're such a good example of a person with patience."

Flushing, Madarame opened his mouth to respond, shut it again and then, grudgingly laughed. "I follow my Captain's example."

Zaraki tried not to smile and simply replied, "Yeah, yeah. Blame me for your faults like the example of the Clown Captain?"

Madarame looked shocked and then quickly said, "I wasn't trying to do that, Captain!"

Yachiru giggled and pointed at her subordinate. "Baldy wants to join 12th Division. I can see him trying to do kido."

"I don't want to join 12th Division. They always try to get out of fighting saying their research is more important. They're a bunch of wankers who talk but don't act." Madarame was smiling widely as he spoke.

"I don't know Ken-chan. He may be a closet scientist," Yachiru said thoughtfully. "Maybe we should check his quarters to see if he has a microscope and Bunsen burner."

"What is a Bunsen Burner? " The man's forehead was creased and he again looked worried.

Yachiru looked at Zaraki as if he might know. "I don't know what a Bunsen burner is. You mentioned it. You must know," he told her.

"A Bunsen burner produces a single open flame which is used in a science laboratory for heating and sterilizing," Atonomatsuri told Zaraki, who much to his surprise and those of his subordinates repeated the information. They looked at him and then at each other.

Madarame eventually shrugged. "How do you know that?"

Zaraki shrugged in return and didn't answer.

"Tell them it was me," Atonomatsuri said. "Don't take credit for my work."

"No. It's not important," he told her, wishing he hadn't simply repeated her words without thinking about her reaction.

The bird sighed heavily. "It is the fate of the great ones of this earth, to be appreciated only after they are gone."

Briefly, he wondered about whom she was talking. Until now, anything that might be considered a compliment had always had a sting in the words, or there was a reminder about all the years he'd tortured her. As she certainly wasn't talking about Yachiru or Madarame and it wasn't even slightly possible she was referring to Kurotsuchi and why would she be talking about the Captain General?

If he left all those potential, 'great ones' out there was only one person to whom she might be referring. Herself. In all their conversations, the constant refrain regarding her worth and abilities had flown over his consciousness but he hadn't really taken any notice. Now he thought about them, the words produced a strange reaction in Zaraki. He'd said he wanted her to go and it seemed she was hinting this might be a possibility.

"Are you going somewhere?" he asked hoping he didn't sound too eager. She had a habit of raising a possibility and then dashing his hopes as quickly.

She sighed even more heavily. "No, Kenny boy. I am simply telling you that you would miss me if I left. Do good and throw it into the sea - if it is not appreciated by an ungrateful man, it will be appreciated by God."

It was easy to guess she meant he was the ungrateful man. Nevertheless, how did throwing anything in the sea mean you were doing good? He frowned, trying to puzzle it though. What did it mean?

It was another bloody proverb. The second in as many minutes. Not even attempting to stifle the growl, Zaraki strode forward to catch up with the people in front, hoping if he walked faster, he might leave her behind, but knowing he'd have no such luck. "Stop it with the adages," he instructed the bird. "You don't have to use one in every sentence you utter."

Atonomatsuri harrumphed, sounding remarkably like the Captain General. "I merely use words of wisdom which provide enlightenment on current situations. A spoon does not know the taste of soup, nor a learned fool the taste of wisdom."

His growl became noticeably louder. Another one and this one saying he was a fool, or a spoon. Until now, Atonomatsuri hadn't implied he was an eating implement. Was he the learned fool? Or did she simply include the 'learned' because it was part of the adage? Of course she had. "One more, just one more and I'll..." and then paused. No threats had impressed her in the past. Even the time they'd spent trapped in his 'mind' hadn't scared her much except when they nearly 'died'.

"You'll do what, Ken-ken?"

"I won't talk to you."

"So you say."

"Yeah, I do."

Their voices contained more tension and the words were spoken faster with a hard edge growing with each sentence.

"You'll talk to me because you can't help yourself," Atonomatsuri said triumphantly.

If she could attack with words, so could he. "You won't stop talking to me because you need to be acknowledged."

She went silent. It was an odd, moody silence, which stretched out until he forgot they'd been talking and they'd arrived at the entrance, or what he assumed was the entrance.

"Is this the place?" the Captain General asked? He was looking doubtfully at the ground.

Where was the entrance? He saw a few buildings but none of them seemed large enough to contain holding cells of the size required to keep the 'Super Hollows' contained.

"It seemed wisest to confine them underground. I did say they were causing the earth tremors," Kurotsuchi seemed uncomfortable with the admission.

Then Zaraki looked down at what appeared to be a manhole cover. A very unpleasant realisation began to force itself into his mind. "We're going into a sewer?"

He didn't mind travelling anywhere to a fight, but the man was supposed to be a scientist and it was hard for him to imagine Kurotsuchi willingly working in a sewer, despite his feelings about the man and his morals. From the little he knew about science, and he liked the ignorance, it seemed there was an emphasis on cleanliness and order. It was hard to imagine a clean and orderly sewer.

"It's well maintained, we all know the attention to detail the Fourth Division pay to such matters," Kurotsuchi said dismissively, staring at the manhole cover. Perhaps he hoped it would magically vanish before he needed to enter.

Not liking his tone or the way the words might be interpreted, Zaraki said, "Why don't you take care of it?"

The Clown Captain appeared stunned at the question and quickly shook his head. "It would be an insult to Captain Unohana if I tried to usurp her authority."

A fast response and one, which may be rehearsed.

"Or you are simply taking advantage of her good nature," Captain Kuchiki said with one eyebrow raised.

Abarai nodded in agreement. "Captain Unohana and her Division don't need to do your work for you."

Kurotsuchi glared at the Sixth Division Assistant Captain. Obviously, the sentiment was not welcome. Before he made the furious response he was planning, the Captain General spoke.

"Now is not the time for discussing the delegation of responsibilities. Captain Kurotsuchi, we will speak of this later and you will make restitution to the Fourth Division for their work. As time is passing and we are uncertain of the situation we must proceed. Open the cover."

Noticing Kurotsuchi's hesitation, Zaraki simply moved him aside and lifted the cover, placing it to one side.

The smell, which arose from the open hole, was not pleasant. Who was he kidding? It was rank and smelt exactly like a sewer.

"We should let the air clear before we proceed," Kuchiki suggested, his scarf noticeably in front of his nose.

Akon spoke, surprising them as he rarely voiced an opinion. "There is little point in waiting. The air won't clear. I have brought some masks which you may choose to wear if the smell offends you." In his hands were white paper squares with pieces of elastic attached.

"Smell doesn't hurt," Zaraki said, waving away the proffered item.

"No, but it may offend," Kuchiki said quietly while taking a mask and placing it over his nose and mouth. After some hesitation, his Assistant Captain followed his example after a quick mime show conversation with Madarame. Obviously, he was trying to please his Captain, but not prepared to be demeaned in the eyes of his friend by accepting what he might consider sheer frippery.

"Looking good, Renji," Madarame with humour.

His friend glared back and then moved his shoulders with embarrassment.

"I wish I had a camera, Ken-chan," Yachiru murmured, not too softly, in his ear. "I know people would pay money to see Captain Frosty and the Crimson Kamikaze with masks on. They look funny."

Abarai apparently overheard and gave Yachiru a startled and worried glance. She noticed and smiled happily, pleased to have the opportunity to tease a new victim.

"Does it make it smell any better?" she asked curiously.

Abarai shrugged and turned away, not providing any comment and obviously uncomfortable at her scrutiny and questions. Had he always been this humourless, or was it something to do with being in the presence of his Captain. He remembered the man joking and laughing with Madarame when he was in 11th Division, and their constant brawling after drinking excessively. Then again, Kuchiki was a joyless bastard and his influence might be affecting his subordinate.

After climbing down the ladder into the sewer, Zaraki noticed there was evidence of rats and other creatures which liked to frequent dark, dank places.

"I don't like it here, Kenny," Atonomatsuri whined, her voice shrill.

Zaraki grimaced but did not reply. She'd challenged him and he wasn't prepared to back down, so he kept walking, following the Old Man who led the way with Kurotsuchi.

"You do know where we are going, don't you Captain. It would irritate me greatly if you hoped to mislead us," the Captain-General said loudly as they passed a path leading west from the one on which they were headed south.

Kurotsuchi stopped and then trying to hide his mixture of fear and anger led them down the path leading west.

"How did he know, Kenny? I still don't like it here. Why aren't you talking to me? I'm not happy!" the shrillness of the vulture's voice had increased and grated on Zaraki's already stretched patience.

"Talking to me now? Didn't take you long to crack, did it?"

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. I don't like sewers. They smell and have nasty things in them. It reminds me of your mind."

It was easier to ignore her, Zaraki decided. Sometimes it seemed possible they might find a common ground and become if not friends, at least allies, but her mood was changeable and it wasn't possible to predict how words might affect her. If he didn't answer, her mood changed for either better or worse but there was the possibility it might improve. Anything was possible.

"It's pretty smelly, Ken-chan, but we might fight some strong Hollows. Isn't it exciting?" Yachiru said as she bounced on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I could do with a good fight. Nothing really challenging has happened for a while," he agreed. "Why are you so excited?"

"I love watching you fight. You smile and seem so happy and then afterwards you buy me sweets and cake and tea."

"Cupboard love, eh, Yachiru? I thought it was more than that," Zaraki teased back.

She immediately giggled and patted him on the head. "You know you are in a better mood after a good battle, unless you've been fighting with words, then you get grumpy. Or when you fight with 'Suri. I don't know why she puts you in such a bad mood."

Why wasn't he allowed to forget about the bird?

Madarame nodded. "Yeah, the bird gets it's talons into you."

Yachiru groaned at the bad joke. "Baldy, if you are going to try to make jokes, at least make them funny."

Zaraki partially listened to their banter but found his eyes were watching Kurotsuchi. As far as he could tell the man was looking flustered and unhappy. He tried to maintain a certain distance from the Captain-General, but the Old Man had apparently noticed and stayed close. The pace of the walk slowed considerably and used to running when he wished to arrive somewhere, even when he knew Yachiru would provide the wrong directions, he found the slow pace annoying.

"Can we get there sometime today? I want the semblance of my life back," he called loudly. "Why are we walking so slowly?"

"A good question, Captain Zaraki. I do not like lingering in insanitary conditions. Although Fourth Division maintains them to a good standard, a sewer is nonetheless, a sewer," was the unexpected support he received from Kuchiki.

"I believe our good Captain is feeling certain reluctance in discovering if his theories are correct, or he is worried of my reaction," Yamamoto said sternly. "Captain Kurotsuchi, lead us there now, fast."

Zaraki noticed the absence of a threat if the man failed to carry out his order. As it was, the man was losing the challenge to save his life, his career and whatever else he valued. Did he have much more to lose? Alternatively, was it the potential loss of face that now motivated him? How could he lose more face? Was he worried he'd be mocked about his failed experiments? Until now, he'd blustered that all the problems he had caused were the fault of others. Why not use the same ploy on this occasion?

Pushing away the thoughts because thinking about Kurotsuchi creeped him out, he picked up his pace as the rest began to move more swiftly. Not as fast as he usually travelled but speedily enough.

The tunnels through which they walked now were less well lit and occasionally he could hear the distant squeaking of rats and the patter of their feet as they ran from the approaching Shinigami. For a moment, he considered running after them and killing a few, but such past times had never amused him. It wasn't sport or much fun to kill such inferior foes.

A few more turns and they arrived at the end of a tunnel. The 12th Division Captain made some movements with his hands and muttered some words; Zaraki suspected some variant of a kido and another ladder appeared which led down further. The Clown Captain stopped and spoke before he descended. "This is a long ladder. It leads to the first level of my concealed laboratory and the entrance is normally concealed. I insist none of you use this knowledge to tamper with my future experiments."

The Old Man raised one eyebrow. "You assume too much."

"What..."

"You assume you will have the ability and rank to perform any experiments in the future. You have wasted enough of my time. Lead the way," Yamamoto cut through the question. It was becoming clear his patience was waning.

The man nodded and then opened a cupboard Zaraki hadn't detected and handed out what appeared to be lights that strapped to the head. "There is only minimal lighting on the ladder. You might wish to wear one of these."

Wearing a light on his head when he spent so much time getting his hair the way it was? No way was he going to do that.

It seemed Yachiru noticed his thoughts. "I'll wear it if I can stay on your shoulder, Ken-chan. I think it would look cute on me, but not on you. It would look like a giant boil if you wore it, as it looks on Baldy." She lowered her voice slightly. "I really wish I had a camera. Captain Frosty would hate it if anyone else saw him like that."

Glancing at the man, Zaraki had to stifle his laughter. It was hard for the man to maintain his dignity wearing a facemask and a light. He almost carried if off, but it was still amusing.

"Yeah, Yachiru. You wear the light and I'll carry you. Just don't bounce around while we are on the ladder. I'll have to concentrate."

'You got it Ken-chan." Yachiru said as she put the torch on her head. "Let's go."

While he didn't want to, he decided to wait until last. His urge was to go first and seek out these supposed Super Hollows to fight before anyone had a chance, but he hoped there would be enough for them to all have at least one decent fight, maybe two for him if he was lucky, unless the Old Man went all macho and decided he wanted to prove how he still had the ability to defeat any enemy.

Commencing the climb down the ladder, he wondered why Kurotsuchi hadn't told them how many steps there were on the ladder. Simply saying it was long gave no indication of the length of time required to climb down the thing.

Atonomatsuri once again proved her inability to remain silent. "It's longer than you think, Kenny boy. It's longer than you think."

* * *

**Author's Note**

As nearly every game contains a sewer/underground level it amused me to include a sewer level in this story. Anything that amuses me now is treasured and used.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Still trying to work out if it is a train, helicopter, truck or daylight. I would not wish my last year and a half on Kurotsuchi.

Thank you to the people who review and provide helpful comments.

Please review.

MS


	60. Lost Timing

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. However, writing it makes me laugh._

**Lost Timing**

Why was the bird always right about anything which made him unhappy? He didn't mind climbing, didn't mind having Yachiru on his back, didn't mind the lack of light but it was taking so damn long. He was climbing, not fighting.

The steps kept descending, the smell from the sewer remained and anything he saw from the infrequent flashes of light didn't reveal much. For some reason he was pleased not to see the surroundings, yet it might reduce some of the tedium. Yachiru was singing quietly to herself, something about clowns being sent in. He didn't recognise the song, but she seemed to enjoy the song, breaking off to giggle occasionally. Her voice faded in and out so he kept missing some of the words.

"What's the song?" he finally asked.

Yachiru giggled. "It's called 'Send In The Clowns', Ken chan 'cause we're in mid air and the clown is already here."

"I see," he said not understanding anything but talking to her at least distracted him from the climbing and how long this was taking.

"Nearly there," he heard Abarai call out. Kuchiki quickly quelled his assistant captain with a few harsh and quiet words. Was their arrival meant to be a secret? Or was the man allergic to noise or information?

The man never let up. Probably reprimanded people in his sleep, or raised his eyebrow in that disdainful way he seemed to prefer. Yet, he must be a decent fighter. He had to be. Why did he constantly refuse to fight Zaraki? Was it because he was scared, or didn't he like fighting anyone who didn't belong to a noble house? If that was the case, why did he allow a street rat to remain in the position of his second in charge? If he looked at it closely and he may as well while climbing down the ladder with nothing else to interest him, Kuchiki was a mass of inconsistencies. Banging on about what was proper: actually capturing his sister, returning her to justice when accusations were made against her of crimes against the Seireitei, and then breaking all the carefully made rules on a whim.

While these thoughts flowed through his mind, his foot touched solid ground and the tension in his legs and arms he'd ignored until now vanished in anticipation of the fight to come, if he managed to get a fight. For some there was some doubt in his mind about the possibility of getting a good fight any time soon. The few battles he'd had recently had proved to be very disappointing either because they ended too soon or his opponent was dull or not challenging. Why couldn't the Old Man have only sent him to get rid of the supposed Super Hollows? At the very least, it might provide an interesting challenge for a time until the Hollows were defeated.

"So grateful you could finally join us," Kurotsuchi said softly.

"Yeah? It shows," Zaraki said shortly, scowling at his foe. "Can we find these experiments before we die of boredom or old age? Do you know which way we should take?"

Kurotsuchi glanced around as if seeking his bearing. "The holding cells are in that direction," he said gesturing vaguely.

"Provide more clarity in the path we need to take. You emphasised the urgency of the situation and now appear reluctant to take action. Are there some further details you omitted?" The Captain-General stood with folded arms.

"So formal. He is really irritated, isn't he, Ken-chan," Yachiru whispered in his ear. "Why is the Clown Captain acting like this? He is usually so superior but I think he's sweating."

Zaraki glanced over. After the exertion of climbing down the ladder, it might be natural for anyone to show some signs of the effect of the exercise but the makeup showed beads of sweat and some of the paint had stained the collar of his white coat. Instead of tightly pursed lips, as was normal for the man, his lips were apart and he was breathing heavily.

"Captain, I assure you I have omitted nothing important. I need to retain some of my secrets about this place or it will be worthless to me." As he spoke, Kurotsuchi's eyes darted as if seeking escape.

"Ken-chan, he is hiding something, I know it."

"Your lolly obsessed assistant captain is correct. My vulture senses indicate the man is very worried about something," Atonomatsuri broke in.

Vulture senses? What was the bird talking about? "Maybe the water affected his brain," he said to Yachiru, remembering the incident with the toilet and Kurotsuchi. For a few moments, he let a reminiscent smile curl his lips. Maybe they should have kept his head under water for longer. He sincerely doubted if he would ever be in the position of being able to extract retribution in that manner again.

"What water, Ken-chan?" Yachiru asked with a great amount of curiosity.

Zaraki then realised he'd never told Yachiru about the incident. This was possibly due to the other things, which had happened since the time, but she might enjoy hearing about the incident.

"Yachiru, if I tell you, you can only tell Madarame and Ayasegawa. Do you understand? No, I'll tell them, but much later."

"Tell me what, Ken-chan? Did you pour water over the Clown Captain? When? Why didn't you wait until I was there to watch? Did you take photos?" Yachiru was bouncing on his shoulder and drawing attention.

"Stop that," he said more harshly than he normally would. Her exuberance ended and she sat quiet and motionless.

"Sorry, Ken-chan. I forgot where we were," her voice was quiet and subdued. "Captain Frosty is glaring at me."

"Let him glare. He doesn't rely on skill, just his bankai and snobbery. Yachiru, ummm, sorry," he felt a touch of guilt in how his voice affected her.

"No need to be sorry Ken-chan, as long as you tell me the story. Will it make me laugh?" Yachiru sounded a little brighter.

Keeping his voice low, he recounted the story of what happened between Kyoraku, Kurotsuchi and himself. She began to giggle and placed her hand over her mouth to try to keep it quiet. This didn't work and eventually he felt her bury her head in his shoulder as her body shook with laughter. After he finished he let a few minutes pass as they continued to follow the increasingly agitated Kurotsuchi.

For some reason the Captain-General hadn't challenged the man again, though Zaraki noticed he was watching him carefully. While his face betrayed no emotion, through experience he was certain his superior officer was carefully evaluating the situation. The was no reason for any of them to trust the man. It was hard not to stare at him and he noticed most of the party were watching him also.

"Are you sure this is the fastest way to our destination." Unexpectedly, Kuchiki asked the question, his brow raised and a disbelieving look on his face. "I do not sense any Hollow reiatsu in this direction."

Instead of the expected denial, Kurotsuchi came to a complete stop and turned to face the Captain. "Why do you ask?"

"As I said, there is no Hollow reiatsu in this direction. No matter how mutated the Hollow is, they must retain some residue of that type of reiatsu," the answer was clear and the accusation implied.

Before the Clown Captain had a chance to refute the claim Captain Yamamoto nodded in agreement. "Captain Kuchiki is correct. There is no identifiable reiatsu ahead. I understand your may be experiencing concern about your private facilities being examined by fellow and superior officers but no one in the Seireitei is above investigation." The finality of his tone brooked no argument.

Kurotsuchi gulped. His Adam's Apple slid up and down in his throat a number of times as he looked wildly at Akon and then at the other members of the party.

Abarai, in his usual manner had his hand on the hilt of his zanpakuto before he spoke. "While you may be a Captain I don't like anyone wasting my time."

"Assistant Captain, do not question your superior officers," Captain Kuchiki admonished his subordinate.

"I agree with the Crimson Kamikaze," Yachiru piped. "We're here to fight Hollows, not playing Hide and Seek, though Hide and Seek might be fun. Is that what you're doing? Are the Hollows 'It' and we have to find them?" Her voice sounded uncertain and Zaraki felt her hands fist slightly on his back as they did when she was uncertain or becoming angry.

Akon looked at Yachiru blandly and said, "Science is not a game, nor is the pursuit of knowledge meant to entertain."

"You're mean and no fun." Yachiru said. "Why can't things be made fun? Why does it have to be serious and boring?"

Zaraki wanted to hear Akon's answer, but another voice intruded.

"Imagination is more important than Science. Does the Clown Captain have an imagination? Hey, Kenny, do you realise that the word conscience might be that all science is a con? Come on, laugh, it's a joke." Atonomatsuri was trying again. Very.

"Stop quoting Einstein at me and making bad puns. This is serious," Zaraki growled in reply.

"Why is it serious? The Clown Captain and Captain Frosty may not have a sense of humour, but have they sucked it out of you? Everything is funny as long as it happens to someone else," the vulture never gave up.

"It is happening to me and you. Everyone here is involved." Why did the bird fail to understand? One of their own, supposedly, was providing information, which wasn't correct and might even be exposing the others in the party to danger. Well, Zaraki wasn't in any danger because there wasn't anything here stronger than him, but some of the others might be noble, get in the way and get hurt before he had a chance to have a fight. Abarai, most likely. The guy liked to fight and took any opportunity to draw his blade.

Ignoring the insults being traded between Yachiru and Akon, with Madarame occasionally backing up his superior officer, Zaraki again, he contemplated how ill matched the Captain and his Assistant Captain were. One noble, the other from the gutter; one cool, the other on edge. The main thing they had in common was they both seemed determined to prove they were superior to the other in at least one aspect. Abarai started with a disadvantage. The other could rile him and wrong side him as easily as he raised an eyebrow. Maybe if the two worked together valuable lessons taught and learned by the other might occur, but it seemed unlikely.

Ill matched partners.

Like Zaraki and Atonomatsuri. The conversations with the bird had proven many times they were not compatible. If they were not forced to be together he realised it was doubtful if they'd be friends or even distant acquaintances.

However, the Captain and the Assistant Captain were divisible. At some point Abarai might obtain his own Captaincy, but Zaraki's bond to the bird wasn't breakable. There was no point in avoiding the truth.

He could try to find some method to negotiate with the bird and perhaps even form a tentative friendship.

Why was he even thinking about this? There were more important things to consider.

The few times they'd tried to tolerate each other were memorable. Both had traits, which infuriated the other, and neither was prepared to make allowances. From the looks of things, Kuchiki didn't permit any infraction or variation from the rules either he or his house had created and enforcing these rules created a distance and antagonism between Abarai and him.

It was hard to admit he didn't let the bird deviate from his expectations. Atonomatsuri wasn't a bird who believed in conciliation either. They were both at fault but all the arguing and resentment led nowhere except to prevent him from utilising the power of the zanpakuto. For now, he didn't really care about bankai. The people who had it used it rarely and kept the form of it a secret. What was the point of working toward the damn thing, taking up to 30 years to reach the agreement with the spirit only the be smug about gaining the power. If he managed to get bankai, would he become like the complacent idiots around him, not honing their skills but content to rely on both shika and bankai when things got difficult?

Shaking his head, he dismissed the line of thinking. They were here to hunt 'Super' Hollows and Kurotsuchi showed all the signs of having second thoughts about leading them to the holding cells.

It was hard to tell but it seemed Kurotsuchi was flushing under his makeup and the indications were it was from anger, rather than any other emotion. He hadn't been paying attention but it seemed the Captain-General had grown tired of the insults and asked some direct questions.

"It is rare for me to obtain superior Hollow specimens. The ones provided are usually weak and make poor experimental subjects. I have urged you many time, Captain Yamamoto, to obtain some of the more interesting and larger varieties for study, but none have been forthcoming. Imagine the amount of knowledge analysis of a Menos Grande would produce."

The Captain he addressed leant on his stick and seemed to be observing the floor closely. No one spoke, waiting to hear his response. "Nice try," he finally muttered. "You tried and failed with that attempt at diversion. No one has the facilities to hold a Menos Grande. The issue here is where are these Hollows and why are you reluctant to take us near them?"

Akon burst out, "We have spent years on this research and you want to destroy it."

"Akon, stop," Kurotsuchi actually showed some care for his subordinate in the warning. "It is true, we have spent years on this research, but they are a danger." He rubbed his face tiredly. "I'll do this Captain Commander if I gain an undertaking from you to provide me with better Hollow specimens for study."

A voice whispered in his ear, "I don't believe he's trying to do this."

Looking up at Yachiru, Zaraki frowned slightly and replied, "He's playing with fire."

Yachiru giggled slightly and Zaraki realised he'd unwittingly made a joke. "Yeah. I meant the joke," he said hastily.

"You are so funny. You gave him water, now Yami Ji gives him fire. Do you think he'll give him a hot foot?"

The Captain-Commander stood very straight and very still, looking at the man in front of him, his face, as usual, impassive. "You have no honour. To attempt to do this now makes me question your position within the Seireitei. Perhaps you would prefer to return to the Maggot's Nest?"

"No!" The word was extremely loud, but he already had everyone's attention. He spread his hands and said, "If you want information, I need the resources."

There was silence for a brief period and Captain Yamamoto said, "Once we dispatch the current threat, then we shall talk of this further. Now, lead us to the Hollows before you incur my full wrath."

Without uttering a word, Kurotsuchi turned and led then in the opposite direction, much faster than he'd been moving previously. They all followed.

"I want a drink after this," Madarame muttered.

"I want some kompeito. Or some Gummy bears. Ken-chan, have you any lollies for me?" Yachiru pleaded.

He had picked up some in case she asked, but was now the right time to give them to her?

"I'm hungry," she said, then paused and added, "Or bored."

A bored Yachiru was more dangerous than a hungry one. He quickly handed her one of the packets of kompeito he was carrying. "Here. Make them last and don't drop any in my hair."

She took the packet quickly, ripped it open and her reply was muffled by the amount of sweets she stuffed in her mouth. "I haven't dropped sweets in your hair for days, weeks even. Maybe." Then there was a brief, guilty pause. "Oooopppsss."

Why had he given in and provided the sweets. Trying to get sticky sugar out of his hair often required more washing and combing than was comfortable. "Yachiru!"

His assistant captain giggled and said, "Kidding Ken-chan. It fell to the ground."

As he lifted his foot, he found out where the lollies had fallen. Right in his path and he had stepped in them. Part of it had crushed under his sandal, the rest stuck to the footwear. Grunting, he dragged his sandal over the path, trying to clear the sticky mess from it.

"Not happy, Yachiru."

"But it's funny," she giggled.

"She's right," Atonomatsuri agreed. "The 'fearsome' Captain of the 11th Division scraping sticky sugar off the sole of his sandal. I wish I could take a picture."

"Yeah, you laugh at anything that makes it hard for me. What sort of zanpakuto are you anyway?"

"Yours," she replied shortly.

Short but succinct and unfortunately true.

The time taken to scrape the substance from his sandal had made him fall behind the others. Satisfied he wouldn't stick to the floor, he warned Yachiru "I'll run."

He felt her hands grasp his shoulders firmly and then he ran. It only took a few moments to catch up and aside from moving forward, nothing else had changed. Kuchiki looking superior, Kurotsuchi looking sullen, Abarai surly, the Old Man aloof and so on.

They walked on and then Abarai stopped. "I feel something ahead. It is like a Hollow's reiatsu, but different."

This, of course, meant the others wanted to stop and discuss the matter. Zaraki sighed. They could walk and talk, couldn't they? So? It was Hollow reiatsu, but different. What did it matter? As long as they found, fought and killed the creatures it wasn't a problem. This delay was interfering with his fight. His hand itched to wield his zanpakuto again, experiencing the fierce joy of fighting a worthy foe, or someone who managed to last a few minutes against his onslaught. At least none of them would dance around or fly away as had the bird, or cry and stumble while complaining bitterly, like Piecrust.

For an astonishing second he thought about Piecrust. What was he going to do with the idiot? If he had to remain in the 11th Division, his presence might prove to cause a problem with morale. All the others in 11th Division were there because they loved to fight and showed talent.

If he acknowledged the truth, Piecrust was scared of fighting. The idiot was scared of many things from the little Zaraki knew. When he'd accused the man of fear of fighting, he had only admitted to a fear of his Captain. When challenged, Piecrust seemed competent at martial arts, but each time he held a blade, he seemed uncomfortable and ill at ease. Why would anyone feel worried about holding a zanpakuto? Admittedly, his joy in his zanpakuto had diminished greatly since he'd begun communication with Atonomatsuri, but his distaste was growing less and one day he hoped to find the same bloodlust and pleasure in wielding it once more.

That wasn't right. Even when the man held a wooden blade, his uncertainty and lack of confidence was evident.

In his mind, Zaraki groaned. This was exactly the type of thing the bird delighted in. Tracking down reasons, usually psychological ones, for the way people behaved. Her attempts at analysing Zaraki wore him out, depressed and infuriated him, especially when some of the points she made showed a better understanding of him than he wished to admit.

Piecrust might have some deeply hidden memory about blades, swords, zanpakuto's or other weapons. His distaste for physical contact and hand to hand fighting might be another problem. Hell, the man was a total problem and a disaster as a Shinigami, but maybe there were reasons.

"Why am I even thinking like this," he wondered. "I'm on the way to a fight. Why think about some fool who can't see what he really is?"

"Like a certain Kenny Boy I know?" Atonomatsuri snidely commented.

This seemed unfair. "I know what I am, Atonomatsuri. I may not like what I was, but I accept it. It's either accept the situation and move on, or not."

There was a small silence. "You called me by my name," the bird said eventually.

"Yeah? So? Maybe you can do the same."

The bird fell silent and Zaraki put the strange thoughts he'd had about Piecrust to the back of his mind. When this was over and the 'trial' had finished there'd be time to talk about it. Again, he briefly wished his life hadn't become so needlessly complicated. The bird may not be the cause but she was the catalyst. He almost smiled at the very bad puns his mind presented to him at the thought of a bird being a catalyst, but soon grew bored of the feeble jokes.

Unmistakably he heard a different noise from the sound of sandals hitting the ground and a few whispered words and the strange rasping breathing Kurotsuchi was doing. They man might be either sick or depressed, or worried for him to breathe in that manner.

"We are close." It wasn't a question and Sasakibe almost seemed animated by the realisation.

"Ready for a fight, Captain?" Madarame asked.

"Always. Are you actually going to take you zanpakuto out?" he asked Yachiru.

She giggled. "Why? It's more fun watching you."

"It's fun to fight," he responded.

Yachiru frowned. "Ken-chan, I've watched you fight from the first day we met. You are the best fighter I've seen, bar none. If I watch the best fighter enjoy himself, why would I want to fight? You'd fight anyone for me."

Her words brought a conflict of emotions. Pride in being told he was the best fighter, arrogance that she didn't even consider Yamamoto his superior and a guilt that his prowess has caused his subordinate not to try. He knew she could fight, but she did so very rarely. The last time he knew of was when Piecrust had stupidly invaded the women's bathhouse. "Why don't you beat Madarame a few times?'

Yawning, Yachiru shook her head. "Too easy, Ken-chan. Besides, upsetting Baldy is much more fun."

He felt a sigh building. "You want training; you have to beat up Piecrust a few times."

Now his assistant captain pouted. "A dead fish is more of a challenge."

He tried to hide a smile. "Dead fish don't fight back, or carry zanpakuto's."

"He's as wet as they are," was her sullen response.

"We'll talk of this later," he said firmly. '"If you aren't going to fight, keep out of the way."

"Do you think I'm like Boobies? Wanting to be rescued by someone all the time?"

For a moment, he wondered which person Yachiru was talking about, and then remembered Ichigo's female friend. "Who rescued her?"

"You did. From the Clown Captain. You watch, Ken-chan. One day she'll be the Princess who has to be rescued."

It was an odd thing for Yachiru to say and he wondered briefly why she'd said it.

Before he could question her further, Kurotsuchi stopped at a large door. It was metal of some kind.

"Look away," Kurotsuchi demanded.

"It's too late to have secrets," Yamamoto said.

Zaraki winced. "Too late. Atonomatsuri. Urghhh," he thought.

Briefly, Kurotsuchi appeared to consider protesting but a glance at the forbidding faces that surrounded him made him turn to the door. He used a key, muttered some words, pressed him thumb against a pad, allowed a camera to take a photo of his eye and then breathed into a tube.

"Clown Captain is either very cautious, or incredibly paranoid," Yachiru whispered in his ear. "Or maybe both."

Zaraki nodded. Sure, it was wise to take precautions, but if Kurotsuchi died, how would anyone else access the room?

The door opened into a large open area. It was astounding there was such a large underground space, until Zaraki noticed there were large chunks of rubble on the floor.

"The 'Super' Hollows have broken a few walls in their attempts to escape," Captain Yamamoto commented dryly. "They caused the earth tremors."

The back of the door, which closed behind them, bore the marks of long scratches, dents and many other signs of attack. It had held.

"What the hell is it made of," Zaraki wondered.

Looking around it wasn't possible to identify the path the Hollows had taken or where they might be lurking. All the walls had suffered some damage and even the ceiling showed signs of attack.

A loud yell drew their attention to Akon who was hanging, apparently in mid air. It was impossible to see a large part of his mid section and he was struggling, as his arms appeared to be trapped which made it impossible for him to draw his zanpakuto or use kido.

Yamamoto had a pained and puzzled expression on his face as he too glanced behind. "Kurotsuchi, is there something else you need to tell us about these Hollows? For example: you made them invisible?"

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

A few more chapters and this story will be finished, which will be sad. Oh well, never mind. These things happen. The title is taken from the lyrics of 'Send In The Clowns'. The song was constantly going through my mind as I wrote this chapter, despite listening to other music, even by the Children Of Bodom. Yes, perhaps that experiment will not be repeated at full volume with headphones.

I hope that by the end of October most of the family issues, which have consumed so much of my time will end and then it will be fun dealing with the aftermath which already is taking up time. Nothing is simple or easy.

Please review.

MS


	61. Spider, Scorpion, Venom, Vulture

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. However, writing it makes me laugh._

**Spider, Scorpion, Venom, Vulture.**

A scuttling sound caused everyone, except Akon who was currently occupied by whatever was holding him, to turn and look. Zaraki stared, shut his eyes, opened them again and stared once more. What was the thing in front of him? It had the bone white hard shell of a Hollow on part of its 'face' but it also had 8 legs and no arms, or was it 8 arms and no legs, or four arms... What the smeg did it matter? It wasn't normal, but why would he expect a Hollow that had been altered by Kurotsuchi to be normal?

The body was shaped like a body and the thing appeared to have a head, but it still looked like a spider. A merging of a spider and human into some new and rather disgusting life form.

"What the hell..." Madarame's startled cry sounded odd. He coughed and then looked at Kurotsuchi. "You are seriously disturbed. Why would anyone..." he cut off as another dragging, scurrying sound caused him to turn around. His mouth dropped open and he stared and Zaraki looked in the same direction.

What he saw made him shake his head.

"Ken-chan. Is that a scorpion?" Yachiru asked.

"A scorpion? It looks like a Fat-tail Androctonus. Very poisonous. Good eating, especially the tail," Atonomatsuri said with a great amount of interest. "What does not poison, fattens. Kill it for me Kenny. The spider has the elongated fangs of a Sydney Funnel Web which means it can pierce even the shell of the scorpion. Ranked high in the 10 most dangerous spiders. I wonder what spiders taste like?"

The bird seemed obsessed about food at the moment. Eating spiders and scorpions? What was the fascination with eating poisonous creatures? She showed no interest in eating the chameleon.

Pushing those thoughts aside, Zaraki looked at it and felt more than happy to kill it or any of the other creatures. They might prove a challenge or at least entertain him for a while. Then he wondered if Atonomatsuri would actually eat the tail. Could she? She didn't have any form in the world. Yet she sounded greedy. Maybe she did eat which made him wonder what she'd eaten until now. Then he remembered she was a vulture and their normal diet didn't appeal to him. Instead of thinking about it any further he paid attention to the newly appeared Hollow.

Again the creature was part human and part other. It had 6 legs but the body and head of a human with an exaggerated tail visible poised over the back. It was moving quickly toward Akon who was still shrieking in fear.

This happened within a matter of seconds and Zaraki felt a little overwhelmed by the things he'd seen.

"It's not invisible," Kurotsuchi said. "I introduced some attributes of the chameleon so it blends with its surroundings." Strangely the man appeared calm. He was looking with intense interest at Akon, his eyes moving rapidly as if attempting to discern the outline of the creature. Zaraki wondered at the expression on his face. He almost seemed proud of the creations which he'd originally stated were a threat. Was the man not even slightly concerned about the fate of his subordinate? His interest indicated he was more interested in the development of his creation than any possible harm which may befall Akon.

One other thing Zaraki found odd was the 'Super Hollows' had said nothing. Was their ability to speak removed as part of the experiment? And if they were so violent why hadn't they killed each other once they were free of their confinement? Each was large enough so they could damage each other and he didn't know if there was any natural immunity for a spider or scorpion to each other's venom. Or maybe they had stung or bitten each other on many occasions and built up an immunity over time? The scorpion had a hard shell which most spider bites wouldn't penetrate, except the fangs on the spider were large and looked sharp enough to pierce the armour of the scorpion which confirmed Atonomatsuri's words. The spider didn't have any visible armour or means of protection except using the spider silk.

Did it matter? They were both in front of him and a threat... No not a threat; a potential fight. An interesting fight.

Zaraki examined each Hollow from where he stood, sizing them up, trying to estimate their possibilities as a foe. 'Invisible' didn't worry him too much as he'd fought Tosen in the total darkness. At first it had proven challenging but once he worked out how to overcome that particular problem the fight became too easy. He wasn't interested in fighting the one currently squeezing Akon. If he looked closely and concentrated hard he could just manage to see the outline of the creature. It was large and like most chameleons had four legs and a small tail, or so it appeared.

The spider interested him as he wondered if it could spin a web and climb walls or even try to trap its prey in a cocoon. To climb the walls the web would need to be exceptionally strong and thick to support the spiders weight. The scorpion was large and might move fast but all he'd have to do would be avoid the tail. Or he could fight both and have two opponents at once and let the others deal with the 'camouflage hollow'.

Even so, he was slightly disappointed. These so called 'Super Hollows' were just enlarged wild life. No, enlarged insects. Bugs didn't interest him. "Bloody bugs," he muttered.

"Scorpions and spiders are not bugs, Kenny Boy. You are displaying your ignorance once more. They are from the Arachnid family and are thus not insects," Atonomatsuri informed him.

"Who cares what they are. They're bugging me," he replied shortly and stared with a great amount of dissatisfaction at the spider.

Then he was forced to reassess his opinion. A white thread shot from the Hollow with 8 legs and began to wrap around Kuchiki. It was thicker than normal spider silk but was still thin. The Captain immediately drew his zanpakuto and cut through the thread only to have the thread be redirected toward the zanpakuto and the thread quickly wound around both the arm and the body, cleaving one to the other. Abarai quickly intervened but became the target of the spider as well.

"Use some strategy!" Kuchiki said loudly. "Don't just blindly try to cut the thread." Zaraki smiled slightly at the irony of the statement. Wasn't that exactly what Kuchiki had done?

Madarame began to hurry forward only to be confronted by the scorpion as the spider also moved in front of its prey trying to prevent any further intervention. Kurotsuchi moved close only to have one of the legs lash out, cutting through his coat and drawing blood.

"It worked," he said as he gazed with admiration at the Hollow who had harmed him. The reflexes are as fast as I hoped and the legs can be used as weapons while the silk is being produced. My experiment is a success!"

"And Korny is about to be eaten," Yachiru pointed out. "Aren't you worried about him?"

Zaraki looked. Akon's feet were no longer visible and he was sweating and yelling. It was unpleasant but not too worrying.

"If a Hollow eats a Shinigami, the Hollow gains the powers and sometimes the memories. That will not be a good thing, Kenny. Not good at all. You are what you eat."

That sounded strange, even for Atonomatsuri but he didn't want to debate with her on this subject at this time. Maybe he should intervene.

Kurotsuchi wasn't moving, watching in fascination at the spectacle and horror in front of him.

"Hey, Captain. You created these things, you must know how to stop them," Zaraki said loudly.

The man started from his contemplation and then again began to stare at the 'chameleon'. "It was meant to be a carefully controlled experiment but because of you the control was removed. If I hadn't been unfairly imprisoned and forced to participate in those silly challenges, none of this would have happened. At one time I would have known what to do but they have evolved far beyond what I imagined," Kurotsuchi said not really paying attention. Again Zaraki noticed his barely concealed excitement.

Before Zaraki could refute the charge and physically and violently explain to Kurotsuchi how wrong he was another voice spoke. "You have committed a crime, Captain Kurotsuchi. There is no longer any doubt in my mind you are guilty of despicable acts far worse than those of which you are currently accused. As Captain Zaraki was winning the challenges I see no reason to continue with them. Once these so-called 'Super Hollows' are dealt with your punishment will be decided." Yamamoto's voice was harsh and the displeasure at the results of the experiments was evident in his face.

A small sneer curled Kurotsuchi's face. "If I am found guilty now, why should I help you?"

Zaraki stared at the man. Was he insane? Did he think Yamamoto would be defeated and eaten by a Hollow? The man faced down two Captains who were considerably more skilful and experienced than any Hollow they'd encountered until now. He'd even beaten...

Zaraki didn't want to go further with that thought. It would mean acknowledging his past which he still didn't feel comfortable accepting.

"Because I will execute you where you stand, burning your body to ash and no one will ask why. Or even better you will be sent back to the Maggots Nest never to be released. You didn't appear to enjoy the time spent there in your last incarceration and we can make the experience even more unpleasant. You created this mess, you can assist in rectifying the problem."

Kurotsuchi was shaken and turned white. He then pinched his lips together and looked like he was going to argue further but a shrill cry from Akon drew their attention.

"First, rescue your subordinate. He does not deserve to be eaten by one of your experiments."

Kurotsuchi looked at the slowly disappearing form of Akon. "I'm not certain..."

"Stop talking and act, man! You pontificate and waste air that could be put to better use. Fight the thing or find a way to disable it," Yamamoto sounded frustrated. "Captain Zaraki, please assist third seat Madarame with rescuing Captain Kuchiki and Assistant Captain Abarai."

"Oooohhhh. Can I help, please Captain?" Yachiru said excitedly.

A look of mild bemusement passed across Yamamoto's face. "Certainly."

Zaraki looked at his Assistant Captain. "I'm going to make the scorpion one chase me, Ken-chan. Baldy is looking unhappy and the spider seems to be getting a little close. I wonder if it is male or female? Why do I think of all spiders as being female? Anyway see you soon."

Yachiru bounced off his shoulder and ran up to the scorpion who seemed to greet her appearance with anticipation. The large tail swung at her but she was no longer where it aimed. She had effortlessly skipped out of the way and was waving at the creature. "You missed. Too slow. I thought scorpions were meant to be fast. You're not."

Zaraki wondered how long it would take her to find an insulting nickname for the scorpion. To be certain he watched as she dodged the tail again, laughing. Experience indicated there was little need to fear. If she felt like she was playing a game, Yachiru had boundless energy and speed. By the time he managed to fight the creature it should be exhausted.

"Maybe you're too fat to be a scorpion 'cause you can't catch me. I'll call you Porky. It rhymes with Scorpy, but you don't deserve that name."

Porky? A name for a scorpion? Admittedly the name calling did seem to enrage the creature who appeared to speed up the attacks which still missed its target.

He turned his attention to the spider. Yachiru was correct. Madarame was looking slightly nervous as he approached the spider. Thus far he had avoided being captured by the web but this might be due to the division of the spider's interest as it continued to wind its silk around the Captain and Assistant Captain.

A quick glance showed Kurotsuchi trying to pull Akon from the 'chameleon' Hollow, but it didn't seem to be working very well. Obviously he needed help and another fight was another fight. He'd kill or disable the spider, defeat the chameleon and then destroy the scorpion.

A brief, awful thought visited him of Yachiru forming an attachment to the creature and insisting on adopting it as a pet. Atonomatsuri was bad enough but a live Hollow Scorpion didn't seem easy to house train. How could you prevent it from stinging and trying to eat any visitors? Atonomatsuri would constantly nag him about eating the tail and he'd be stuck between two strong females who wanted the opposite thing to each other. It would only end badly.

He had to kill the scorpion. No choice.

It was a pity because if it was a talented fighter a rematch might prove interesting but life had proven that disappointments occurred when there were any expectations. The fight might be boring or after the initial battle it might refuse to fight him like Ichigo did.

What was that kid's problem? He'd won. Why did he refuse to fight again? It wouldn't be to the death this time. Just to keep their hand in, keep them up to speed. Fighting against a strong opponent only strengthened you even if they were cheating as Yachiru claimed. Did the kid think he was too good to fight a man he'd defeated once? If that was the case why did he keep fighting some of the weaklings Zaraki heard he'd encountered. Why did he keep defeating Hollows? Or was it Hollows were easy and he didn't like fighting stronger opponents. Interesting idea, but it didn't bring him any closer to working out a way to defeat the spider.

He hoped Yachiru might not want to keep a man sized spider as a pet. It too had to die.

"Madarame, get back here. The spider senses your fear." At least he thought it could. He didn't know much about spider senses and fighting it might prove an interesting way of learning.

"But Captain..."

"But nothing. Go and help Kurotsuchi who seems to be able to breed these things but has no idea how to defeat them. Akon is looking scared. Try and hit a leg and disable it."

"But Captain," Madarame began again, looked at his captain and then quickly moved toward the 'invisible' Hollow and began slashing his zanpakuto where he thought the legs might be. There was a definite reaction and a reddish brown colour seemed to seep out and make it possible to see the leg. Satisfied that his subordinates would be able to keep the other 'Super Hollows' busy he once again looked at the spider.

It had almost completely covered Kuchiki and Abarai in web and now he could see the fangs protruding, glistening with a liquid he guessed was the venom. He had to act fast before it struck. Didn't spiders normally inject the venom and then encase the victims in web? It wasn't a normal spider therefore it might have unusual tactics.

Trying to remember everything he knew about spiders he circled around trying to reach its back. Would it be able to see him if he was behind it? Just at the moment when it seemed to notice him, Yachiru ran past, hotly pursued by the scorpion who touched some of the spider silk that had been originally cut by Kuchuki which tugged on the spider, drawing it's attention. He watched as he moved around the large arachnid and noticed the scorpion had turned threateningly at the spider and the spider seemed prepared to put its captives to one side and engage the scorpion in combat.

From this, Zaraki guessed the two had been kept apart until they managed to recently breach the walls of their cells. Perhaps they'd fought each other before and not managed to win, constantly drawing. Both bites could cause immobilisation but the spiders venom also caused the breakdown of the body of the recipient of the bite.

None of it mattered. He was now behind to spider and as quickly and lightly as he could, he leapt onto the back of the spider, his zanpakuto drawn. Was a spider's brain in its head? Did spiders even have brains? But was it really a spider? It was a Hollow. Most of it looked like a Hollow, except for the legs and the extended jaws with the fangs currently protruding and the eyes were very different.

Now he was closer he noticed the large hairs on the 'legs' of the spider. Just how much of the original Hollow remained? His landing on the spider caused it to quickly lose interest in the scorpion and the spider reared up, half of it legs reaching up and trying to locate him on its back.

"Why does a spider have to have so many freaking legs? Damn it," Zaraki bellowed as he slashed at one while another tried to spear him on its sharp point.

"When the webs of the spider join, they can trap a lion," Atonomatsuri said, calmly.

"I'm not talking about the web. I'm talking about the legs!" Zaraki shot back in irritation.

"We do not walk on our legs, but on our will." Atonomatsuri replied.

"What the Hell is that meant to mean? Walk on will? For the sake of frack, shut up unless you have something useful to say!" Zaraki yelled as he finally managed to cut one of the sharp points off the end of a spider leg. A translucent red ichor dripped from the leg before it was quickly withdrawn but another replaced it.

"That hurt," complained the bird.

"What hurt?" What was addling the birds' brain this time?

A long, sad sigh preceded the next statement. "The blood or whatever that stuff is. Wipe it off, Kenny. Quick. It hurts; it burns."

Not wanting to mar his coat or uniform he wiped the flat of the blade on the back of the creature who uttered a hissing sound at the contact. At the same time he kept dodging the legs which sought him. It meant he was constantly moving, ducking and jumping out of the way. As there were multiple limbs attempting to attack him it was becoming increasingly difficult. He jumped, rolled leapt and kept his blade busy striking out at the legs. Managing to cut another one he again wiped the blade on the spider and was rewarded with another, louder hiss. The leg was withdrawn and was not replaced, due he imagined, to the spider needing to remain standing.

There was a brief pause as all the legs were withdrawn and he wondered what the next attack would be.

"Why don't you just stab it, Kenny Boy? You fail at trying to cut off the legs."

He was about to respond with some harsh comment but realised it was a good suggestion.

Almost as if it sensed the change in what he was planning the hollow tried to stand upright on only two legs making Zaraki slide somewhat. Without considering what he was doing he plunged his zanpakuto into the body of the spider to maintain his position.

A loud, infuriated squeal erupted from the what he guessed was the mouth of the Hollow. "You stabbed me," it yelled in a deep voice, possibly male. "That isn't nice." It placed all its feet on the floor and shook as if trying to shake Zaraki from its back.

Zaraki raised his eyebrows but held onto his zanpakuto firmly. "You're trying to kill me and you tell me stabbing isn't nice?"

"I didn't ask to be like this. I was happy as an ordinary Hollow. It was nice in Hueco Mundo. Going to the Human world, eating people's souls. It was fun hearing them squeal as I sucked the life out of them and then I was trapped and given to that man." The voice got louder and angrier as he spoke. He shook himself again but Zaraki continued to hold on, digging the blade in a little deeper.

Zaraki almost laughed at how absurd it was. The Hollow was complaining about being changed to what it was and then gloating over how it had killed people.

"Did you fight them? The humans you killed?" he asked out of some slight interest. If it had fought people it might be more of a challenge and so far he was pretty disappointed with the amount of skill it had shown.

"No. I don't like fighting, or I didn't. These legs make it a bit more interesting." The Hollow spoke slowly as if only now realising the use of its legs. "It would have been better if Sasori wasn't turned into what he's named. We never got on. He came from Los Noches and thought he was better than me."

Zaraki thought. It seemed Kurotsuchi was literal and decided to turn a Hollow called Scorpion into a scorpion. "Does that mean your name is Kumo?"

"No! My name is Raketsu. Why would you think it was something as common as Kumo? Could you removed your blade? It is causing me some pain." The creature sounded very annoyed and Zaraki smothered a laugh.

Atonomatsuri interrupted. "Why are you talking to the thing? Kill it, Kenny. End its misery. That's what a Shinigami does, or at least a normal Shinigami. The truly fearless think of themselves as normal."

He didn't wish to be interrupted by her but curtly replied, "I never said I was normal. Normal doesn't have a vulture for a zanpakuto spirit."

Then hoping for no further interruptions he replied to the 'spider'. "Why should I take out my blade? I have to kill you." Why lie?

"Kill me? But why?"

Zaraki laughed this time. "Why? You tried to kill me and you were planning on killing two Shinigami."

"I'm hungry." How could such a deep voice develop a whine like that? The voice might be deep but the personality seemed shallow. Perhaps even as shallow as Piecrust.

"If you fight me, properly, I might let you live." Or not.

"You can't let him live Kenny! He's a danger. Kurotsuchi will never try to turn him back and he might like the power of having a spider's abilities. You can't do it." Atonomatsuri again had to remind him of duty.

"Since when have you told me what I can and can't do?" Zaraki asked Atonomatsuri. "Only one person is permitted to give me orders and you aren't him."

"He's the enemy. A danger to all of us. And could you get me out of his back. His blood hurts," Atonomatsuri pleaded.

Reluctantly, Zaraki withdrew his blade and wiped it on the back of the Hollow. When he stood a sharpened leg narrowly missed him and looking around he noticed the spider was once more attacking him with his legs. He ducked and dodged and accidentally rolled closer to the head. He felt something or someone land beside him and he sprang to his feet, expecting to be needing to duck another onslaught of the spider legs seeking to skewer him. Looking around he noticed Yachiru had leapt on the back of the spider and was standing there looking at him.

"The 'scorpion' Hollow is boring Ken-chan. It just chases me and misses hitting me with its stinger each time. Can I play with the spider now?"

Zaraki grabbed Yachiru and pulled her out of the range of the leg which had appeared behind her. This time, either due to the distraction of another person on its back, or the proximity of the scorpion the spider leg sank into the flesh, close to the head. A scream of pain was followed by the abrupt removal of the leg.

"How could you do that to me?" The spider yelled, anger and fear present in his voice.

"Yeah, You were only trying to kill me. I'm not polite. Anyway, you stabbed yourself."

"Only because you got out of the way. Why would you do that?" The creature seemed genuinely amazed. Zaraki began to wonder if its mind had been damaged by whatever experiments Kurotsuchi had performed or the influence of the spider genes. Surely no Hollow could be this dumb. No one could imagine that Shinigami would obligingly stand in one place ready to be slaughtered.

This was a poor excuse for a Hollow, not like he ha...

He dragged his mind back from the thought. Those days were far behind and he was completely different. No more killing for the sake of killing. Now it was down to the pleasure of the battle and the chance to once again be the victor.

"Why do you think?"

"Is this Super Hollow stupid or something? Why does he think we got out of the way?" Yachiru bounced on her toes and then jumped high, landing with as much force as she could on the back. "Are you stupid?"

"How dare you call me stupid. I'm an enhanced Hollow..."

"Something you were complaining about 5 minutes ago," Zaraki cut in, bored with the conversation and the creature on whose back he stood. "I'm not going to try to fight you."

"You aren't? That is good..."

The words were cut off and Zaraki once again grabbed Yachiru and jumped off the back of 'Raketsu' to avoid the sting of the scorpion's tail. Instead of pulling back the scorpion sank its stinger into the back of the spider which retaliated by fastening its fangs on the closest body part of the scorpion.

"I thought you were my friend," 'Raketsu' struggled to speak. Zaraki wondered whom it meant.

"Hollows have no friends," replied the toneless voice of the scorpion. "Super Hollows should act that way and not whine and complain all the time. You are a disgrace to all Hollows and me in particular."

"We'll both die," was 'Raketsu's' next observation.

"You will die." Sasori replied coldly.

"You'll both die," growled Zaraki. "Why are you wasting time talking?"

* * *

**Author's Note**

Once again I apologise for the last three years. Actually it is slightly longer than that but I'm trying to pretend it isn't.

Sometimes family is more trouble than fun. Sad.

According to my sources both Kumo and Ratesku mean spider, but my sources may be incorrect.

Please review.

MS


	62. Damned Inconsideration

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. However, writing it makes me laugh._

**Damned Inconsideration**

"Death holds no fear for me..."

"You already died once so, no big surprise there," Zaraki interrupted before Sasori could go into any sort of rant about how his life was meaningless or some other rubbish. He'd heard that sort of crap so many times and each time he'd tried not to listen though some words got through. He had a suspicion any person who talked like that was looking for sympathy and he wasn't in the mood for anything approaching pity. If the guy was so unhappy and life was meaningless then he wouldn't be wasting air by talking. "And the next time you die you wake up in Soul Society. Nothing much changes except you won't be here."

"I was trying..."

"Shut up. Don't care what you want to say or anything you think or feel. You're both killing each other, which means I don't get a fight. Damned inconsiderate of you," Zaraki growled. They guy wanted to yabber on about unimportant stuff, like the meaning of life or death and he didn't care. He'd come for a fight and now these two idiots had deprived him of a possibly interesting melee.

A low whine emitted from Raketsu. "I don't want to die and you're being horrible, whatever you are. Shinsiswami, or Pointy Hair. I don't like you." His voice was muffled and a little difficult to understand as his mouth was clamped onto the scorpion.

Zaraki rolled his eyes. One being hard and noble, the other whiny and scared. If these guys ended up in Soul Society, he hoped they didn't want to be Shinigami. His bad luck might mean they ended up in his company and he still hadn't decided what to do with Piecrust. "I am a Shinigami Captain, named Kenpachi Zaraki."

"Is now the time for introductions?" Sasori asked coldly.

"I usually introduce myself to the people I fight and kill," Zaraki felt a little uncertain and anger toward Sasori grew. Even for a Hollow, he lacked in interpersonal skills. He was possibly accustomed to grunting rather than talking. Yeah, so he didn't like talk for the sake of talk but there was no need to be rude for no reason.

"It should be obvious to you I am not fighting or killing you, or are you as stupid as that hairstyle implies?"

"A fine head of hair adds beauty to a good face, and terror to an ugly one, Lycurgus said. Guess which one you have, Kenny?" Atonomatsuri seemed to be laughing at him.

Ignoring the birds' taunts, Zaraki was taken aback at the insult from Sasori. Very few people dared to criticise his hair and the few in the past who had made any comments experienced his barbering skills with his zanpakuto. Few had lost ears or noses as a result, but honestly, people who made comments judged solely on appearance were shallow and often not worth time or effort.

"You're always so rude to people, Sasori. Rude and mean. It hurts. Take your stinger out of me," Raketsu complained. "Penkachi Karazai, make him stop." Zaraki has to listen carefully to understand and then wondered why he'd bothered. It was additional whining. Both Hollows whined, except they did it in different ways.

Zaraki stood there. Why would he make one stop? Would either of them be worth fighting? On the other hand, was it too late because they were poisoned and would be slowed down by the toxins in their systems? He still smarted at the insult to his hair.

"Stop biting me and I might."

Atonomatsuri murmured in his mind, still apparently amused, "Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. Maybe you should find a stylist, Ken? You know, get some tips on how to look 'normal'."

Did the bird ever stop? He was trying to concentrate and she had now formed an obsession about his hair. If he wished, there were many observations he could make about her appearance: the decay, the maggots, the fact she looked like a vulture and acted like a politician, but he didn't. Mainly because he couldn't be bothered. Appearance was immaterial. No matter how she looked, Atonomatsuri was still a pain in his head.

Yachiru bobbed up on Zaraki's shoulder and whispered, "They're both pretty stupid. Don't they know the story about the scorpion and the frog?"

Zaraki wasn't sure what she meant. "One is a spider sort of thing, not a frog," and then immediately regretted his admission of ignorance. He knew and was almost immediately proven right that Atonomatsuri knew what his assistant captain meant.

"It is a child's tale. I thought everyone knew it," the bird began.

"Not interested," Zaraki said quickly hoping to stop her.

"Ignorance is no excuse. A scorpion asked a frog to take him across a river. The frog didn't wish to do so as he was worried the scorpion would sting him. The scorpion assured him it wouldn't happen because if he stung the frog, he too would die from drowning. Finally, the frog agreed and in the middle of the river, the scorpion did sting the frog. Before they died the frog asked why and the scorpion simply replied, 'It is in my nature.'"

"The scorpion was an idiot," Zaraki said.

Atonomatsuri squawked. "Who can deny their true natures? We are all subject to our values and training."

"Did 'Suri tell you the story? I always wondered about that story, Ken-chan," Yachiru said. "It might have been the scorpion's nature, but don't they have any self control? Does it mean we should do what we like because it is our nature? Or we don't control what we do?"

He didn't know the answer to the questions. Was he like the scorpion, unable to prevent him from following natural instincts no matter the consequences?

"Don't know," he replied abruptly, hoping the conversation and questioning would end there.

"But Ken-chan, you must have an opinion. Are you the scorpion?"

He laughed unwillingly. "I'm not the frog, so gullible it will accept the assurances of a scorpion. And I'm not a scorpion as I don't let my nature define me."

"Very philosophical for a man who has no interest in philosophy," Atonomatsuri said but he ignored her comment, more interested in the words Yachiru was uttering.

She bit her lip and said, "You did for a long time, Ken-chan. You had some idea that you would not bend or change..."

He was astonished she'd noticed.

"At first you'd kill anyone you fought, but later you let them live so they could fight you again. You see life as a battle, but it is not a battle that needs to end in death. It is a battle which teaches you your strengths and weaknesses and if you are given time you can work on weaknesses and build them into strengths or get rid of them."

He almost spoke, his surprise urging him to make a comment but her understanding amazed him. Death was permanent and meant an end not only to life but also to all the factors which made up life. Those he let die were the ones who refused to change, refused to see any of their imperfections. He'd begun to believe people who viewed themselves as perfect or requiring no change were dead inside, as they had permitted themselves to become blind and deaf. Yachiru seemed to sense this even though they hadn't spoken of it openly.

The bird seemed to sense his distance and attempted to regain his attention, or that is how it seemed to him. "There is another version of the story. The scorpion said, 'I can swim,' and only the frog perished as a result of the bargain," Atonomatsuri finished.

This version made Zaraki stop. Even examining the story briefly, it still made little sense. Did the scorpion have a personal grudge against the frog? Was there a vendetta involved, which made it important for him to avenge his scorpion family by killing the frog in the middle of a river?

Neither telling of the story made any sense. The scorpion had a nature to kill things in order to eat. It was its nature to kill but not to kill at the risk of its own life.

"Stop telling me stories that make no sense," he told the bird. "In either case the scorpion killed the frog for whatever reason and it wasn't for food or protection."

"Don't you see the deeper meaning, Ke..."

"To Hell with the deeper meaning of that stupid parable or whatever it was. I don't want to think about it anymore and if you continue to jabber on at me about it I'll..." then he stopped. He was up against the same problem. How could he threaten Atonomatsuri? Any threat he made in the past hadn't really worked. "I won't listen to you," he finished.

"Situation normal," the bird sighed. "You never listen to any of my sensible suggestions."

He tried tuning her out but she kept sighing and murmuring complaints about her treatment. It was irritating and he had to concentrate harder than normal to block out her noise. Normally it didn't take long for him to ignore her but for some reason she seemed to be able to overcome his usual means.

"Be quiet," he told her. "I'm trying to work this out."

Atonomatsuri laughed. "Trying to use your brain again, Kenny? Twice in a day? Aren't you worried it might not cope with the stress? He who has not been given brains from above will not buy them at the apothecary."

"Shut up. You're no help."

A hurt silence followed by the words, "You could ask me for help."

Zaraki ignored her. How could she help him? She could bore the two Hollows to death with a string of adages, which would take too long, and be no fun for anyone involved. Anytime she'd tried to 'help' in the past ended with more confusion and problems than before.

The scorpion killed the frog because it is the nature of the scorpion to kill? Was it that simplistic?

Then he realised he'd been distracted from the struggle in front of him for some time but nothing had changed. Both of the Hollows in front of him remained in the same position, attempting to kill the other for whatever reason. Motivation didn't matter, unless it helped get them to release each other, or he could try fighting them both which might make them let each other go.

Thoughtfully he drew his zanpakuto and faced them. "You make easy targets. It'll be a boring fight, not even a fight, more a mercy killing, but will be over soon and I can play with your other comrade."

"NO! Please don't hurt me. I'm already in pain and you should be helping me. Kill Sasori. He's mean and nasty and hurts people for fun." Raketsu sounded desperate and pleading. Did he expect Zaraki to feel pity for him?

"You never did like fighting your own battles. You're the reason I'm here. 'Protect me. I'm your friend,' you said and like a fool I believed you." Sasori sounded less cold but much more hostile now.

"You like fighting. I never did. You said you'd protect me." Raketsu said sadly. "Then we were caught and you changed."

"We were caught because of you and if I changed so did you. You became whiny and annoying. Whinier and much more annoying."

"You became hard and cold."

"You told me you hated me for letting us get caught..."

"You said it was my fault and I don't think it was. You didn't protect me as you said you would. Then you blamed me."

"You blamed me first."

Zaraki was tiring of accusation and counter accusation, fast. "Shut up," he said and wondered slightly at why he always seemed to be participating in petty squabbles.

"We're trying to have a discussion here," Raketsu said. "We've not talked for ages."

Yachiru sat on Zaraki's shoulder and looked at the two Super Hollows. "You're not discussing anything. You're arguing about who did what and who is to blame. You're not really talking at all. Are either of you even listening to each other?"

There was a slight pause. Zaraki felt the situation was changing completely into something which resembled a couple's therapy session. No! People talking about feelings and emotions and how they could get over their current problem. He felt sick. "Don't do this, Yachiru," he said quietly.

"But Ken-chan, they were friends once. Why can't they be friends again."

"I am meant to be killing them, not solving their emotional issues," he explained, hoping she would see where the problem lay. "And we are not taking either of them home as pets," he added hastily in case she decided if their problems were solved they didn't need to die. Those two would drive him crazy with their whining and passive/aggressive behaviour within a day.

"Oh, Ken-chan... I wanted to get them to play with Piecrust. Doesn't Raketsu remind you of him? We could watch them fight, cry and then fight again."

The statement made Zaraki shudder. Piecrust and Raketsu did have some similarities but at one time he'd had a friend. That made him slightly less of a social outcast.

"No pets. We agreed."

Yachiru sighed and didn't say anything else for a few minutes. "It would have been fun. Piecrust is such a baby. Lollies?" she asked as if making a substitution.

"Yes. Lollies. No spiders or scorpions, especially these two."

'These two' had been talking while he was distracted and now their voices grew higher as they continually assigned blame to each other for their situation.

"I told you to shut up!" he said loudly.

It was a relief to experience to sudden, comparative silence that the abrupt cessation of their noise brought.

"Whatever your problems, it doesn't matter. You're both going to die either by each other's poisons or by my blade," he explained. "As you both seem to have trouble with this simple concept, I'll just kill you now."

That was the best plan. Yachiru wouldn't insist on taking them home, they wouldn't make noise and the whining would cease. The only disadvantage he could see was he'd still be missing a decent fight.

"That's not fair," Raketsu whined.

"You're right. It's not," Sasori said.

Seconds later, they freed each other and turned to Zaraki. "You're not being fair so we won't be fair," the spider Hollow said. "We'll both fight you at the same time."

A broad grin appeared on Zaraki's face. "You will? Great. I need a decent workout," he said before lunging toward the scorpion with his blade. From the conversation and his prior experience, Sasori appeared to be the real threat. The spider Hollow still had a problem with missing the lower part of at least two or three of its legs and as it seemed not to be able to cope with pain or any disadvantage very well, he could finish it later.

Not only that they were both poisoned by the other so he wasn't certain how long each would be able to resist the effects of the others poison. It wasn't going to make either of them stronger, which he found a pity. He'd come hoping for a decent, fierce battle and had to cope with two whiny creatures who seemed not to really be thinking before they acted.

"A little like you, Kenken."

"Listening to my thoughts again? You must be bored if you're trying to read my thoughts, which you said you couldn't." He didn't want to make a big thing of it, but had the bird lied to him?

"Things change, Kenny. Things change."

"Yeah. Things change, except I still don't want to listen. I'm in a fight, you know, I hit people with you..."

"I do realise what you do. Could you try to avoid breaking me on the scorpion shell? Or making me even more jagged than I am now?"

"Just keep your beak closed and let me take care of things."

"Yes and see how well that has worked in the past."

He decided to ignore her last muttered comment. He was facing two weak enemies, but sometimes it you underestimated your opponent because they appeared weak and feeble, you gave then an undeniable advantage. He couldn't afford to do that now.

It was easy to spot their initial strategy. One was circling behind him so he would have to fight one while the other attacked from his back. It was a plan which might work on a person who was used to fighting one person at a time, like a new graduate from the Academy, or anyone who only liked one on one combat, but for him it was a joke. He preferred fighting multiple enemies if they were weak, or even if they were strong. Sure, it meant he had to stretch a little more but it didn't really test his capabilities to any extent. In fact, he hadn't had this since he fought both Madarame and Ayasegawa and that had been disappointing. This fight probably would be as well and might make him lose the opportunity of fighting the other 'Super' Hollow.

He wasn't going to think about anything else except this fight. Aside from circling around him, neither had chosen to attack him. They were still moving and he decided to stay still and not waste energy. Then again, he wasn't certain how long it would take for each to be affected enough to be impaired by the venom of the other.

The scorpion was in front of him the tail with the sting evident, poised above its back.

"Do they even have any poison left, Ken-chan?"

He'd forgotten Yachiru was still on his shoulder. "Get down and go somewhere else. It might be dangerous for you to be there," he told his assistant captain.

"I don't think I'm in any danger. Neither of them have any poison left," Yachiru sounded quite certain.

The lack of poison didn't mean they were of no danger. In the past, he'd encountered people he thought were weak until they realised that they would not escape death and then decided to take him with them by any means necessary. If death was in their immediate future, they may as well choose their own means of death and take companions to ease the loneliness of the grave.

He shook his head at the last thought. It didn't sound like him. Atonomatsuri might say some tosh along those lines, but why was he thinking it.

"Never underestimate an enemy," he said to Yachiru, trying to think of something persuasive and not open to argument. "It shows a lack of respect to the foe and yourself. It also makes you weak."

"You're not weak. You're the strongest man I know! The strongest and best fighter in all of the Seireitei!"

"Yachiru, go and encourage Kurotsuchi to assist his subordinate," he barked more harshly than normal and felt her shock through his shoulder. "I need to concentrate and I can't do that if I'm worried about you," he added in a softer tone.

There was a pause and she said in a small voice, "Are you worried about me?"

He felt the emotion he normally tried to suppress invade him. The softer emotions made him feel weak and he only experienced them with Yachiru. In private or with Madarame and **Ayasegawa** it wasn't a problem, but in public when he was about to fight... he didn't enjoy the experience. Clearing his throat, he replied, "Yeah. Now go and annoy the Clown Captain. It might be one of the few chances you have left."

"I can take care of myself. You know I can! I'm hurt Ken-chan," she said and looked at him with sadness which made him feel guilty, but then she grinned. "I know you worry and you're right. I don't think they'll let me talk to the Clown Captain when he's in the Maggot's Nest, if he goes there," Yachiru said reflectively. "But that's okay. I can annoy Captain Frosty. Have you noticed how that nerve twitches in his forehead when I'm around?"

Zaraki hadn't noticed, nor was he aware Yachiru singled out that particular Captain for her attention more than Yachiru singled out any other. "No, can't say I have. Maybe he's scared of you."

His subordinate giggled and winked. "Of course he is. He loves order and I like mess." She ran off in the direction of Kurotsuchi and he turned to face him foes who were closing in on him.

"We waited until you finished your goodbyes," Sasori hissed.

Zaraki scowled. "I didn't say goodbye."

"We could have killed you while you chatted with the little girl. We could have killed both of you," said Raketsu. The tone was different to the whine he usually used when speaking. "Sasori wanted to strike, but I thought it might be more fun to watch her cry when you died."

Was this even the same snivelling creature who had whined for help earlier?

"And then we can kill the rest of you 'Shinigami' who have persecuted us for no good reason. Years spent in this hell with a lunatic treating us as if we were created purely for his amusement. And you permitted him to do this."

"Didn't know, don't care now. Nothing to do with me."

"You should care because we will treat the little girl the way we were treated."

Zaraki crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head to one side. "You really are a fool."

Raketsu laughed. "I heard your conversation. You worry about the girl and obviously protect her. Without you she will be easy prey and we will break her before she dies."

Zaraki felt a cruel smile twist his mouth. The Hollow had obviously been pretending to be a fool in order to make Zaraki feel he wasn't a threat but he'd now shown how foolish he was. As most people did, he judged Yachiru on appearance and didn't think beyond that. She looked like a child so he assumed she was an ineffective fighter and silly. To indicate how foolish the Hollow was, he'd assumed he'd be able to fight and defeat Kenpachi Zaraki easily.

"You're both poisoned and one of you is harmed. Do you think I am so easy to defeat?"

A harsh chuckle preceded the reply. "You judge on appearance and only on what you've seen. We are much more than we appear."

Zaraki felt a slight unease, which he quickly dismissed. He knew better than anyone appearances could be deceiving but the small bout he'd had earlier with the Super Hollows hadn't impressed him. He's managed to damage Raketsu too easily and nothing he'd seen since convinced him that either of his foes had more capabilities than previously displayed.

"The poison we use on each other makes us stronger for an hour," Raketsu said only to be interrupted by an angry 'scorpion'.

"Don't tell him anything more, you fool! You gave him a time on our increased strength. You told him about our advantage!. What do you think this is? A bad spy thriller where you explain everything to someone you're going to kill so they can magically escape and thwart all the careful plans?" Sasori sounded more animated and full of fury than Zaraki had experienced until now. "And if you keep chatting away the hour will be gone."

"He may as well know he's facing certain defeat," Raketsu said. "It will be fun to watch him realise he is not able to conquer us, and then watch him despair as we crush him."

Zaraki sighed. "So, are you done mouthing words? Can we fight now?"

* * *

_Author's Note_

The story of the _Frog and the Scorpion_ is found in many mythologies and with different variations. _The Farmer and the Viper_ variant appears in Aesop's Fables and there is a 'Japanese deviation with a different ending which changes the meaning. It is uncertain if the scorpion alternative originated in Persia or India.

Thank you Wikia, Wikpedia, CSIRO and other sites, which have assisted me greatly with information about spiders, scorpions and the other strange details this story, seems to require.

To those who actually reviewed, my sincere thanks. Please forgive the lapses in time between updates.

Please review.

MS


	63. Reasons For Guilt and Pride

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk). I make no money from this work. However, writing it makes me laugh._

**Warning/Spoiler: Character death in the following chapter.**

**Reasons for Guilt and Pride**

"I think you may provide a modicum of entertainment," Raketsu said. Again, Zaraki marvelled at the change in the man. Now he seemed almost assured and in control; a distinct contrast to the snivelling spider/Hollow he'd encountered previously. Was it the venom or was it pretence to make him less on guard, but if that was so, why reveal so much information.

These 'Super Hollows' confused the hell out of him. Arguing, insulting each other, complaining, whining, accusing. Somehow, they reminded him of recent conversations he'd had but didn't want to think about. He was facing these creatures now and had to try to work out why they were acting this way. Perhaps any drugs given to them or their treatment at the hands of Kurotsuchi had twisted them beyond all recognition of the original Hollows they'd been. Or they were damaged psychologically, or, and the thought could not be denied, they were like that even before they had been subjected to experimentation. Unfortunately, there were some individuals in the world pretending to be one type of person in order to gain some sympathy or present as non-threatening only to change when they believed it was possible to exert their authority or power over anyone they judged as weaker or less intelligent. These pariahs were so practised at the art that it was often hard to detect them before they worked the situation around to their benefit. Zaraki had no doubt that Raketsu judged him as less intelligent. How intelligent Raketsu was remained to be seen.

Considering it further, they must have been weak Hollows to be caught in the first place so the so-called 'Super' had a low base against which to work. No one would desire to be caught by the enemy. It was a shameful thing to happen, even if they didn't feel like fighting.

Hollows with personality issues, whether prior to capture or developed after, but originally weak. Not so 'super'.

Zaraki began to grin at the joke, but his grin turned into a snarl. The fight wasn't going to be a challenge even with the two of them at full 'strength'. Admittedly it was a little challenging fighting Raketsu because of the number of legs and the over confidence annoyed him. It reminded him of Piecrust and Atonomatsuri.

Then he paused in thought for a moment. Atonomatsuri might have reason for pride. It was possible but until they actually found a way of working together, it seemed unlikely he would find out. The ill feeling between the sometimes grew less but she always managed to find a way to needle him and bring out all the anger he felt at being stuck with a decaying vulture who didn't know when to stop quoting adages at him or insulting him for his lack of intelligence. There was no chance he was going to accept their long-term communication difficulties as primarily his problem. She'd sulked for years, playing games in his mind while probably moaning about the sort of Shinigami with whom she'd been paired.

Thinking this way wasn't achieving anything. He had to focus on what was in front of him and how quickly he'd be able to defeat these Hollows. Was there any chance they'd show him a decent fight so he might be tempted to spare them so they might improve or was their conversation enough of an impediment so their death was one way of removing any possibility of a further conversation?

In the case of these two in front of him, it wasn't possible to tell if they had any reason for pride. Not that he cared. It was simply an idle thought while he was idle waiting for these two to decide to fight.

"I asked if you were done mouthing words," Zaraki said, supressing a heavy sigh. Why did people want to talk instead of fighting? Or the ones who wanted to chat while fighting. Most of them didn't have the ability to do two things at once. Even fighting at a reasonable level seemed beyond them, but to fight and converse taxed them too much.

"I was providing time for you to come to terms with your fate," Raketsu said. "Shinigami are mostly unobservant but most would have noticed my legs are now whole and Sasori had grown is size as well as his speed increasing."

Zaraki sighed and shrugged. The scorpion hadn't been much of a threat before and even if the spider's legs were fine, the only challenge they'd offered previously was trying to avoid their limbs more than anything else. He viewed Sasori. No point in trying to jump on his back as it would make him an easier target for the sting, but then again as they had both spent time exchanging venom, how much would be left? How quickly did spiders and scorpions replace the venom they'd used? It would have to take time otherwise spiders would try to kill anything which threatened them with a poisonous bite. It seemed that scorpions might replace their venom faster but what did he know? Whether they had venom or not, it didn't matter. He's been badly wounded before and didn't think a little venom in his system would be any worse than carrying the toxic properties of Atonomatsuri within him. Heck, he didn't know what sort of weapons she had and she'd threatened him in the past with some vague threat about poisoning him.

"You're still both insects," Zaraki said.

"We are not insects," Sasori said coldly. "We are Hollows with arachnid qualities. Count our legs."

A small grin pulled at Zaraki's mouth. "You scuttle around and hide in the dark most of the time. I don't care how many legs you have or what you choose to call yourselves. If you were any smaller, you'd be simply bugs to squash. Come to think of it, that is all you are and that is what I'll do."

Without any further words, his zanpakuto was in his hand and he crouched into an attack stance. His eyes flickered from one to the other, assessing their weak spots and the areas of greatest defence. It seemed the back of the spider was still its weakest spot but Sasori was a different proposition. He couldn't strike its back with the stinger so close to it, unless he removed the sting. He circled as they turned to face him. The sting was the only thing the scorpion had as protection while the Raketsu had legs and a bite and a web which might be used at any time. That made Raketsu the bigger threat, on the surface, which led to the next question. Convention indicated removing the weakest foe at the beginning of the fight in order to concentrate of defeating the larger one without the complication of fending off another. If he felt under threat from his enemies he might follow that strategy, but he wasn't certain if he felt under that sort of threat from the two 'Super' Hollows in front of him.

As he circled, he began to notice indications of their strategy. They were moving apart and it was pretty easy to see they were going to try to repeat their earlier move. One attacking from in front, the other from the rear, a strategy which meant he would need to be very much on the defensive, if he were anyone else.

Kenpachi Zaraki didn't care much about the defensive. It often cramped the ability of a good attack and he wanted this fight over. From what the Old Man had said, once these 'Super' Hollows were dispatched the whole business of the bloody challenges would be over and Kurotsuchi would be given sentence as there was no longer any doubt of his guilt. For that, Zaraki was prepared to cut corners. The fight wouldn't prove to be interesting enough to prolong and once it was over and the other Super Hollow was dealt with, they could return to the surface and he could go back to napping, fighting whoever would accept his challenges and doing his normal routine. It didn't matter that his life had changed to something he wouldn't have recognised before he tried to speak to Atonomatsuri. It was his life and better than sloping around sewers or playing stupid games or folding fiddly pieces of paper.

To counteract the move he jumped sideways. The Hollows simply followed still circling but not attacking.

"Are they waiting for something?" Atonomatsuri asked while he watched them. They had now achieved their goal of one in front and one behind but neither was moving, simply watching him, or each other. It was hard to tell with their armoured faces and unusual body language.

"What?"

"I don't know. I'm not them," Atonomatsuri said testily. "How am I supposed to know what a spider and a scorpion think?"

"You were the one who mentioned that stupid story about scorpions," Zaraki told her. "Doesn't that give you an insight into their thoughts?"

"You don't believe it has a true scorpion's nature and you also don't see it as much of a threat. Would it have any venom left? I know it can control the amount of venom it injects and it uses a lot of energy to produce the venom…"

"Maybe that's the answer," Zaraki exclaimed with a slight touch of interest. "Producing venom. That means I attack, now!"

He spun around and struck a glancing blow at the head of Sasori. It stood to reason the head was armour plated and protected even though it looked human. He struck it and felt the impact of bone. It seemed the Hollow had the bone protector around the face, but would that be true of the body. Ignoring the sluggish reaction of the scorpion to his attack, he struck at the torso that still seemed human in shape. He again encountered bone but it didn't seem quite as dense as the bone armour, which protected the head. He saw a flicker in the corner of his eye and dodged out of the way of the tail which, moving much slower than normal struck directly where he'd been standing. Sasori's aim appeared to have improved. Maybe there was more to this waiting than the act of producing venom. One of them had garbled on about their poisons providing some benefits. Was it true?

He could keep hitting the body to find the vulnerable areas but it wasn't much like fighting. Simply hacking at an opponent while they stood there was about as interesting as attending a Captain's meeting but requiring more physical labour.

The scuttling sound he was becoming too familiar with, alerted him to the movement of the spider. It was trying to be quiet but it was moving closer to him, trying to hem him between them. Sasori remained unmoving and he began to see the plan, or what might be the plan. They would allow him to attack the one with the most protection and while he was trying to break the armour, Raketsu would attack from behind possibly using his most effective moves to capture and then cripple Zaraki. As a plan it might have worked on some people, but it wouldn't work on him.

Aware of how close it was he simply vaulted backward, being forced to flip over to gain more elevation. He had to flip directly backward as there wasn't room to flip over either of the creatures. They were large and crowded too close for him to clear. A quick decision and once again he found himself in the middle of the spider's back, facing a scorpion. It wasn't the position he wished to find himself in again, but there was little he could do. Preventing them from putting their, probably devised, strategy into action against him meant he was again faced with a problem to which the best solution was a quick end. Thinking that through quickly he hefted his zanpakuto and prepared to stab the spider through the back before he had to experience the legs stabbing at him. In some respects he felt bored. He'd done this before and it hadn't worked. Then he'd been subjected to the tedium of hearing Raketsu and Sasori chatter on about stuff he didn't really care about. What he'd really like was a decent fight or a good nap and it didn't seem likely he was going to have either any time soon.

Stabbing down he found the back of the spider was slightly armoured and resisted the first hit. The blade shuddered in his hand.

"It's hard Kenny. There must be a weak spot," Atonomatsuri said, calmly for her.

"Or I could keep hitting the same area over and over until I break through," Zaraki replied.

There was a small silence before the bird replied. "It is light armour but it will take time. You will be under constant attack, once they work out what you are doing and even if they aren't the brightest Hollows we've ever encountered they can even work that out."

Quickly he kept hitting the same place on the spiders back repeatedly. He'd assumed it was light armour but the pounding of the blade didn't seem to be having any effect.

"It isn't armour," the bird said slowly. "It isn't like anything I've seen or felt before. One of them said something about the potency of the venom."

Zaraki cursed loudly. The advantage he thought he had did not exist. The toxins running through the bodies of his enemies might have any effect.

"We must think of a new plan. One that doesn't simply involve hitting your opponent until they give up," Atonomatsuri suggested.

"It worked in the past," Zaraki replied simply. It had. He'd hit with either his fists or his blade until his opponents gave up and he let them live so they could improve their fighting skills. This was a very different situation. He'd already decided both these creatures had to die as who knew if either Atonomatsuri or Yachiru wanted to take them home and make pets of them. However, come to think of it, the vulture seemed more interested in eating the scorpion's tail rather than keeping the creature alive.

Before he could plan further strategies two legs appeared over the spiders back, but this time they were moving differently. Instead of the sharp stabbing motions they'd previously made, they moved in ever decreasing circles as if trying to locate him. He easily avoided the two legs but when a third was added he tried cutting them off as he had previously. The legs appeared stronger and while they were withdrawn quickly, the damage appeared to be minimal.

As if waiting for the cue, Atonomatsuri commented, "At least we know one of the side effects of the toxins. I wonder if there are others."

Zaraki laughed without humour. "Of course there are and the effects last for an hour."

"Ken Ken, that doesn't sound like you. The tougher the opponent the better."

He knew she was right and had trouble working out why he wasn't enjoying this fight so far.

"Because it isn't a fight," the bird suggested.

She was right. So far facing these creatures hadn't been really fighting him. They had used tactics but presented very little in the way of offense or proper defence. They'd talked as if they were keen to fight but maybe they were more used to talking than fighting. Through the time they'd spent under the Seireitei they must have fought each other otherwise they wouldn't have worked out the effect their toxins had on each other, but aside from that every move they made was predictable. In fighting each other, they hadn't honed their abilities but simply become lazy. They knew the moves the other would make and possibly ceased to try.

He felt a stab of guilt. Until the invasion of the Seireitei he had been as complacent as they. Content to fight or, in most cases, sleep and occasionally battle others who didn't have the skill or experience to make him stretch himself. Events around him seemed to remind him of his own laziness and that he had as many faults as the ones he sought to defeat.

While they talked he'd tried hitting out at the legs again and again. The legs were withdrawn, undamaged but he kept hitting out at them. Until now the scorpion hadn't moved. He caught sight of something moving out of the corner of his eye and dodged quickly to one side. The whistling noise came a few seconds after the attack and Sasori hissed angrily.

Raketsu however shook. "That hurt. You know you're not meant to sting me now."

"I was trying to sting the Shinigami, fool. He moved out of the way."

"I'm supposed to stand here and let you kill me?" Zaraki felt stupid for asking.

"It would make it easier," Sasori agreed. "But I don't expect you will." As he finished speaking the tail with the sting extended lashed out again and this time Zaraki slid to one side, ending up standing on one leg and wavered slightly. It was unusual for him to feel off balance but the whole situation made him feel less than stable and he hoped Atonomatsuri wasn't listening in on his thoughts or she'd find some adage that cast a slur his mental stability.

This time he watched where the sting landed and noted it seemed less armoured than the rest of the back. Dodging the legs and the sting, which was wavering around, trying to track his movements, he rolled and then slammed his blade into the same area the stinger had been moments before. It gave a little but he hadn't managed to put full force behind it due to trying to evade the limbs attacking him. He breathed another curse and had to roll again almost falling off the back of Raketsu. It was his zanpakuto which prevented his fall, lodging partially against some of the stiff hairs that adorned the back of the spider. He clung precariously to the hilt of his blade with one hand and a sudden movement of the spider sent him dangling.

He tried to weigh up the best options. Let go and duck under the spider to discover if it was more vulnerable or remain on top and keeping hitting the same place over and over while both 'Super Hollows' attacked him. He reminded himself that if he was on top or underneath, he was at least out of reach of the spider's jaws and if he was under Raketsu, Sasori would have difficulty manoeuvring the stinger under the body of the spider.

The spider movements were jostling him and he tried hard to free the blade of his zanpakuto. Swinging from the handle made it difficult for him to dislodge it so he attempted by using the leverage of the blade to swing onto the spiders back. His attempts brought him no closer and in addition the movement was making him slightly dizzy. He tried pulling once more with all his considerable strength and felt it loosen, a little but at this moment he saw the approach of the stinging tail and Raketsu lurched away. Both movements combined to make his balance even more unstable. His grip began to slip and he had to make a decision.

The decision was made for him as despite all his efforts his hand slipped off the handle. Landing he was immediately attacked by the legs nearest him and swearing loudly he rolled out of their way, trying to get under the spider. He made it but found he'd underestimated the amount of room. he crouched to try to fit but found he couldn't be low enough. Also he didn't have his zanpakuto to stab upwards as he had planned.

Angry, he sat under the spider which seemed to be immobile for now. It seemed stupid to be sitting under a spider he was meant to be fighting simply because he no longer had his sword in his hand.

"Why the hell am I sitting here? Am I scared of the stupid spider and the moronic scorpion? Or did all their words have an effect on me? I don't want to sit here and wait for something to happen."

Immediately he got to his feet, pushing up with his arms trying to pick up the spider. For a short time it appeared it wouldn't work as the spider's legs were long and might be stretched so that his contact with the belly gave him less leverage. He pushed harder, acknowledging the spider's weight was heavier than he'd expected, but now he'd started he may as well continue. Pushing up, groaning slightly, he noticed the legs were moving further off the floor. Some scrabbled, trying to regain a foothold.

Not surprisingly, Raketsu seemed to notice his action and tried to move but at least half of the legs had now left the floor and his attempt almost unbalanced Zaraki. Feeling the shift in the centre of gravity he braced himself and put even more force into lifting the spider. The muscles in his arms and back complained as he strained but he ignored that and the sweat which dripped from his eyebrows and saturated his eye-patch.

"Dammit, I should have removed the thing. Why didn't I think about it? It's too late now," because he knew removing one hand even for an instant would cause him to lose the advantage.

Now the spider's legs were off the floor he hefted the form in his hands, trying to estimate what action he might take next. There weren't many choices he knew but there was one which might at least stun the spider for a moment while he retrieved his zanpakuto and then had the ability to at least have some defence.

Zaraki tried to judge where the scorpion had placed itself. He thought he heard movement and putting more strength into his back and arms he flung Raketsu slightly up and forward hoping it would hit the wall and the scorpion.

He missed the scorpion but the spider hit the wall and due to the force of the throw and the impact of the heavy body against the wall, it shuddered and collapsed, covering Raketsu with rubble and causing more dust to obscure his vision. Rushing forward to recover his zanpakuto he felt something move behind him and without thinking rolled to one side, coming back on his feet and closer to his goal.

"You won't defeat me with such a cheap trick, Shinigami," Sasori said. The scorpion was very close, but aside from the movements of its stinger was unmoving, appearing to watch him and anticipate his actions. Had he failed to take advantage of an opportunity or did he have another motivation?

Zaraki sighed in annoyance. "I don't plan on trying to get under you. Your body is much closer to the floor. Why do you say defeated? What's wrong with the spider?"

"You killed him and didn't even notice?" Sasori swung his tail at Zaraki who quickly moved closer to his fallen foe. As the dust cleared he noticed a large section of the wall had fallen on Raketsu's head, dislodging the Hollow mask and crushing part of the skull. Blood pooled under the head and the spider didn't move even when Zaraki reached out and took possession of his zanpakuto.

It was a shock. He'd killed before and couldn't estimate the number of lives he'd cut short but since meeting Yachiru he'd changed. Death seemed too final and a waste of his energy. He knew it was the responsibility of Shinigami to dispose of Hollows, especially those who threatened humanity and the Seireitei but even though he'd consciously decided these two 'Super' Hollows should die, it seemed wrong that one ended his life through an accident. By throwing Raketsu at the wall he'd meant to disable, not kill him.

It didn't seem the time to dwell on an accidental death. "He's dead. You were both trying to kill me," he said to Sasori trying to ignore the niggle of guilt that seemed to want his attention.

"All Shinigami must die," Sasori said and Zaraki could hear a mixture of rage and grief in his voice.

"I thought you hated him," he replied in astonishment.

"Hate/love, what does it mean? I knew him for years before we were captured and tormented by your fellow Captain. Yes, I know you are both Captains.' Sasori spat. "Superior Shinigami's who are worse than Hollows. We kill each other to survive and Shinigami kill us because we get hungry. Is it fair for them to judge us?"

"You eat souls of living creatures. Are you so dim..."

"We're different to the Shinigami. It is our way of life."

"You're saying others have to die so you can live," Zaraki said, amazed he was having this discussion after he'd killed a creature who he was meant to destroy.

"Don't you, Shinigami?" Sasori asked pointedly. "I know your history and that you were once one of us."

* * *

Author's Note

This chapter is many months later than anticipated as during the process Zaraki was written into a corner and seemed unwilling to take any action suggested. He grumbled something about being the Kenpachi and being stranded on a spider's back wasn't fun or even fighting.

For the delay, apologies. Zanpakuto is destined to end within another two chapters, with any luck, but then the estimations have been incorrect previously and there is no reason for them to change. The death of Raketsu came as a shock when this was written but as some of you may know the writer often doesn't control the events in the story.

Please review.

MS


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